7
Do Spinning Helicopter Blades Hurt Your TV Reception Too?
the brain shield helmet
If there was one place in the wingnut-o-sphere where someone might see dark and terrifying liberal machinations behind the DTV transition delay (of all things!), it would have to be The American “Thinker” website where one of the qualifications for its writers appears to be a recent traumatic head injury. It will only be a matter of time before the geniuses who write for that site (and who truly give Renew America a run for its Cheetos) will declare that the the teh infield fly rule is a liberal plot to make our children go gay.*
Donning the tin foil cap today at American Thinker is Doug Powers, whom you may remember as the WND writer who got punked by an April Fool’s story about a planned television movie on Terry Schiavo. Powers spells out the real reason for the DTV transition delay:
It’s simply pathetic how television is being presented if [sic] it’s life-or-death medication. However, it isn’t difficult to understand why the government is so incredibly prickly [sic] about making sure everybody has television reception, as television is the number-one preferred delivery method of government indoctrination, fear-mongering and demogoging [sic].
Of course, Doug has it all wrong here. The number-one preferred delivery method of government indoctrination is surreptitious transmission of high radio frequency messages to tooth fillings which then download official propaganda into your brain at night while you’re sleeping. The number-two preferred delivery is through fire hydrants, which is why you see so many of them even though hardly anything burns down any more. The few fires that happen every now and then are actually set by the government so that no one will catch on to the true function of fire hydrants.
*I mean how gay does the umpire look when he sticks his arm straight up in the air (like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever) while simultaneously yelling “batter’s out!” That’s just got to be gayer than Oscar night in Chelsea.
Sirius Lunacy said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:48
I think you mean “the the inFEILD fly rule.
[Tintin adds: Yes. Thanks. Typo fixed.]
Rusty Shackleford said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:48
Survivor instead of American Idol?
ALLUSION FAIL
Rusty Shackleford said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:50
Elsewhere on American Thinker:
“Calculated insult of the malignant narcissist?”
That fucking Obama
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:52
the the inFEILD fly rule
…aw, now it’s gone before the jokes about what’s “inside” the “fly” could fully develop!
LittlePig said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:54
The dumbass is strong with this one.
Cervantes said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:54
One can certainly compare TV to the panem et circenses of ancient days — but on the other hand, Doug does miss a few salient differences.
LittlePig said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:55
What, the spelling was fixed but not the the “the the”?
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:56
…the reason being is that he missed that.
Sirius Lunacy said,
March 7, 2009 at 19:58
Maybe the the is the the new teh.
Tintin said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:03
I blame the typos on my having watched the “Breaking Bad” marathon last night straight through to the end.
Nancy Pelosi™³²®© said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:03
Teh teh fact is, this is central to my point.
Sirius Lunacy said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:07
What every wing nut needs though most seem to already have one
http://www.stumbleupon.com/toolbar/#topic=Humor&url=http%253A%252F%252Fzapatopi.net%252Fafdb%252F
t4toby said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:11
I’m not one to agree with the wingnuts, but I noticed a couple of months ago that they were pushing this digital transition pretty heavily, and had a similar thought.
Namely, that it sure seems like the powers that be are placing a lot of priority on making sure that the continuity of television viewing by the dumbest members of society is not broken.
It is particularly glaring on PBS, where they keep having these asinine chats between two hosts discussing the transition. Over. And over. And over.
Does that make me a partial wingnut?
MzNicky said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:11
Don? (last paragraph) or Doug? Not that it really matters.
[Tintin adds: Fixed. No more cable marathons for me.]
Sirius Lunacy said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:13
From the page RS links to above
“Brown was left blind in one eye after a accident and has been suffering diminished site in another.”
I know how that feels, I once had a site in one eye and a moat in the other. What a relief when the site finally diminished
g said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:15
I just can’t stop laughing every time I see that The American Thinker logo. Please tell me that someone over there has a sense of humor – they can’t REALLY be overlooking the fact that it looks just like Uncle Sam is sitting on the crapper?
g said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:16
Actually Harry Shearer has had a bug in his bonnet about the DTV transition for a couple years now.
OTOH, he’s in the industry, so his reason for caring is probably a little more informed….
t4toby said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:24
Good to know that Shearer is one my team here.
I am known to accessorize with foil now and again.
Huey, Dooey, and Louie Duck said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:28
The original modification.
Huey, Dooey, and Louie Duck said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:29
Oh, crap…
Huey, Dooey, and Louie Duck said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:32
Second try.
Huey, Dooey, and Louie Duck said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:33
My second try.
Huey, Dooey, and Louie Duck said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:34
FYWP FOR THE ELEVENTIETH TIME!!
Johnny Coelacanth said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:46
“Namely, that it sure seems like the powers that be are placing a lot of priority on making sure that the continuity of television viewing by the dumbest members of society is not broken.”
The Neilsen company estimates there are 14 million people in the US who rely on analog broadcasts. Most of them live in low-population counties with few or no inexpensive options to get TV reception otherwise. That means a lot of disgruntled voters in remote and rural congressional districts.
And really, there wasn’t that much priority. The government set aside all of, what, a million bucks for the digital converter coupon program?
No, the people who want to see this go right are the mobile companies. That 700mHz slice of magnetic spectrum is worth billions. They want the plebes onto digital so they can mine the bandwidth with wireless devices.
Our Dead Selves said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:51
…television is the number-one preferred delivery method of government indoctrination, fear-mongering and demogoging [sic].
I thought that was what the fluoride in the drinking water was for!
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:56
…television is the number-one preferred delivery method of
government indoctrinationlive plastic surgery,fear-mongeringweight-loss/humiliation “contests” anddemogogingwingnut talking head retards [sic].Jennifer said,
March 7, 2009 at 20:57
“Namely, that it sure seems like the powers that be are placing a lot of priority on making sure that the continuity of television viewing by the dumbest members of society is not broken.”
Uh, no. Fox News is only on cable, which isn’t affected by the DTV transition.
Judas Peckerwood said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:03
Great post. Hadn’t known about the fire hydrants. Forewarned is forearmed, etc.
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:10
foredamned is foreskinned?
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:23
I converted my pork trough to digital all on my own – you can too!
Bitter Scribe said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:24
Yes, how dare the government ensure that the public airwaves are accessible to the public. Who do they think they are, public servants or something?
WereBear said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:25
Dang it! Just when I thought it was safe to not think about Smut Clyde’s feral foreskin!
And a belated Yowzah to Jennifer for finding a job which also ticks off wingnuts. It’s two-two-two “special purposes” in one!
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:28
…parasitic ponies for everyone!!
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:37
…hyperinflated parasitic ponies!!!!
DrDick said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:38
as television is the number-one preferred delivery method of government indoctrination, fear-mongering and demogoging
This is just on Faux News. The other networks are too busy kissing Limbaugh’s pimply ass, sucking Grover Norquist’s tiny cock, and pimping Newt Gingrich, James Cramer, and everybody else who created the current economic clusterfuck.
Hyperinflated Parasitic Pony said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:39
You try walking around the mall in a hyperinflated pony suit.
Scrooge and Marley said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:40
No, us.
The Authentic said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:41
NIGGERS
Rush Limbaugh-Ruppert said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:43
The fact is, I am behind all your current troll problems.
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:43
Nothing like …
nothing like a pony!
Rodgers & Hammerstein said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:48
Nothing like a dame!
Bartenders of America Inc. said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:49
JIGGERS!
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:50
…but a good cigar is like “is” is
Bushco/Cheney Inc. said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:50
“everybody else who created the current economic clusterfuck.”
Hey! Don’t look at us! It’s all that black guy’s fault now.
Realist said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:51
My pork trough catches the overflow from my shit moat. Or is it the other way around?
Realist said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:52
BOOGERS!
how it all works said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:52
This whole buy gold thing. Does that mean when hyperinflation hits along with massive food shortages that I can go to the burnt-out building where my fellow citizens are bartering goods and take out one of my gold coins and shave a little piece off the edge with my pocket-knife in exchange for a sack of potatoes? Or even just one potato, depending?
Realist (the left-wing one) said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:54
Who the fuck is this Right Wing Realist bozo? My evil twin?
Rusty Shackleford said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:54
Who the fuck is this Right Wing Realist bozo? My evil twin?
Nah, it’s Truthy. Killfile.
M. Bouffant said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:56
A commenter comments:
This is about as stupid as they can get. The gov’t. mandates the conversion of telebision, so that the wireless companies will get all the bandwidth Johnny Ancient-Fish mentioned. Then, since “the people” don’t have much choice in the matter, the gummint helps them to continue to receive telebision, probably more for emergency warning purposes than to keep the sheep sedated/indoctrinated.
And I’d just bet that the money the wireless companies pay for their new spectrum will more than cover the cost of the mail-in rebate coupons.
I can’t remember where else I’ve seen it, but this is not the first complaint from the forces of repression & stupidity about the conversion. I don’t get it, but it seems they have to complain about anything & everything. I’d guess they don’t realize that telecom cos. will be making zillions from this, otherwise they’d probably STFU.
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:59
Does that mean when hyperinflation hits along with massive food shortages that I can go to the burnt-out building where my fellow citizens are bartering goods and take out one of my gold coins and shave a little piece off the edge with my pocket-knife in exchange for a sack of potatoes? Or even just one potato, depending?
Have you brought your freebie converter box/boondoggle?
Barney Frank and Chris Dodd said,
March 7, 2009 at 21:59
We’ve had eight years of uninterrupted, near-dictatorial powers and we’re looking forward to sixteen more. We are more powerful than any Republican attempt to stop us. More than their God, even.
the forces of repression & stupidity said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:00
But but but, if we’re not sowing seeds of discord and disgruntlement everywhere, we have no reason to exist!
Jim/The Velvet Blog said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:01
Another commenter there comments:
>>”But books, oh, how we all drool over them, which is why we are at library in first place, not for movies.”
I am never taking a book out of the library again.
Smut Clyde said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:01
I once had a site in one eye and a moat in the other.
The shit motes in the eye are the worst.
ckc (not kc) said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:01
…socially engineered hyperinflated parasitic ponies!!!!!!
RightWingTalkingPoints 03/09 ed. said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:03
Chris Dodd, Barney Frank, and the Community Reinvestment Act led us into this mess
That’s right, little minion. Keep it up. Good boy! With enough repetition some may even start to believe it’s true.
Smut Clyde said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:03
Wasn’t “Parasitic Ponies” a Hawkwind song?
Rapacious unregulated corporatist douchebags said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:05
Frank? Dodd?!! Pleeeze. Drops in the bucket compared to the monstrous catastrophes WE created! Dumbass.
WereBear said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:06
The worst part of a parasitic pony is when it bursts out of your chest.
MzNicky said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:06
Wasn’t “Parasitic Ponies” a Hawkwind song?
I think it was Linda Ronstadt’s first backup group.
Smut Clyde said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:07
Here in NZ, half the population still have low-speed dial-up tooth fillings, which limits the bandwidth for downloading official propaganda into our brains at night.
We have a national ethos of self-reliance and independence, and we will not accept any government subsidies to install satellite-signal decoders in our hard palates.
Right Wing Realist said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:10
In fact, George Bush was basically an undercover Democrat. Everything he did was intended to sully the Republican brand.
Arky said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:13
Power Tool is either so fucking stupid he forgot digital conversion was a BushCo idea, or he’s just a disingenuous piece of shit.
I’m inclined to think it’s the former because his pants wetting panic is based on the premise that people MUST WATCH TELEBISION or BLACK HELICOPTERS WILL SWOOP DOWN AND MUTLITATE THERE CATTLE.
Also, The The is a great band. Though.
M. Bouffant said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:16
A different commenter:
Don’t confuse me w/ the facts. My mind is made up.
And back to the “immagrants” guy:
Made up that this is actually a secret census of Hispanics. (That’s what he said.)
And I think he’s wrong about the necessity for a digital box if you’re a cable subscriber. (But why shouldn’t he be wrong about that? He’s wrong about everything else.)
Barney Frank and Chris Dodd said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:17
We had the goods on Bush. That’s why we he did everything we told him to do. What a sad little puppet he was.
g said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:20
But books, oh, how we all drool over them, which is why we are at library in first place, not for movies
Well, in addition to the “euwwww!” this incites, I am perplexed to hear that conservatives are using a government-funded resource like a library.
Smut Clyde said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:20
The subscribership for the mexican, and spanish channels is the only sectar of Television that is growing exponentially using the free TV bunny ears and Signal, rather than through a cable system.
I wish I was in Tijuana
Eating barbequed iguana
I’d take requests on the telephone
I’m on a wavelength far from home
I feel a hot wind on my shoulder
I dial it in from south of the border
I hear the talking of the DJ
Can’t understand just what does he say?
Simba B said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:21
Yes and no. You need a really new and fairly high-end TV, but if your television supports something called “Clear QAM” and so does your cable company, you can get something akin to the traditional analog basic service without a box.
Homer Simpson said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:24
sectar
Not until you’re older, son.
tigrismus said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:25
And I think he’s wrong about the necessity for a digital box if you’re a cable subscriber.
It depends on your TV; if it’s not a digital or “digital-ready” TV you do.
And what do you bet Mr. couldn’t spell his way out of a bowl of alphabet soup is one of those “English only” folks?
tigrismus said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:26
How do you subscribe to broadcast signals via rabbit ears?
Simba B said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:28
My guess is the door-to-door salesman who sold him his 1967 Zenith model probably sends him a bill every month.
Smut Clyde said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:29
fear-mongering and demogoging
Demogorgons!
J Neo Marvin said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:30
No matter how dumb the right wing pundits or trolls (is there really any difference?) get, there’s always further for them to go. Amazing.
WereBear said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:34
As I understand it, it’s a matter of geography whether rabbit ears work for you or not.
Broad flat plains let the signal reach much further than having mountains in the way. But that doesn’t even matter; there are places people live where cable just doesn’t go; there’s not enough density to make it worth their while.
These are the folks who used to have those huge satellite dishes in their yards. Yes, it’s a rural thing; for a reason.
The cheap converter box is to NOT screw over those people who cable already has. They won’t lose whatever signal they are used to getting. A one time, refundable, converter box cost.
It’s making sure a government decision doesn’t mess people up. Which would explain why the wingnuts hate and fear it.
M. Bouffant said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:34
What I actually meant (all dependent on the cable system, of course) is that if you have a NTSC cable ready tee vee, or even a not-cable ancient tee vee, if your cable provider sends a non-digital, no box required, basic cable only signal to poor folks, the poor folks won’t need to rent a cable co. box.
Time Warner in L. A. was still doing this as of a yr. ago.
Simba B said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:39
The analog and digital signals co-exist in most cable systems still. The way they were doing it when I still lived at home was that digital was an addon package, and that the analog channels were analog regardless of your equipment.
This is why you see satellite companies advertising that their signal is “all digital”.
Lurkbot said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:42
Actually all the cable companies are committed to supplying the local broadcast channels in analog form for at least two more years after the transition (or after the original February 17th date, anyway.)
It’s my understanding that the Government actually got a little money for these frequencies when they sold them to the cellphone pirates, unlike the peanuts they sold off channels 70-83 for; but that’s the motivation for this switch: the lust of the Communications companies to make vast sums of money off the use of spectrum that is the undivided property of the American people. Kind of like the fate of the whole country west of the Appalachians: sold to cannibals for pennies a square mile, and now people think individuals owning whole counties worth of “ranch” is a concomitant of “freedom.”
J— said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:44
Burt says stop talking about big this and big that.
tigrismus said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:49
Poor lil’ Burt.
J Neo Marvin said,
March 7, 2009 at 22:51
Who is this Burt anyway? “I’m going to read from my new book: ‘Conservatives drive like THIS, and liberals drive like THIIIIS!’”
Smut Clyde said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:05
To me he will always be “Hutt-Burt Prelutsky”.
stackozone said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:14
Sorry my wife and I, have had out life’s saving taken from us in the last four weeks. From now no mercy.
Damned hyperinflated parasitic shittybank ponies
WOLVER(hack, hack)INES
Nancy Pelosi™³²®© said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:16
Butt-Hurt Prelutsky works, also.
Smut Clyde said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:24
Hyperinflated parasitic ponies are known to attack en masse.
justme said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:29
I thought that was The Reverse Cowgirls.
Pin Manufacturers of America said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:31
Hyperinflated parasitic ponies are known to attack en masse.
We believe we have the solution to your problem.
Smut Clyde said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:33
“Ride the White Hyperinflated Parasitic Pony” = worst drug song ever.
justme said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:39
Also the worst western-themed porn.
Right Wing Realist said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:51
Why should *I* have to pay for some bozos TV reception?
Simba B said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:57
We will stop paying for your roads, too. Hopefully one day you will be riding your Hummer over a bridge and it will collapse beneath the weight, and we won’t have to deal with you anymore.
Hollywood Realist said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:58
Butt-Hurt Prelutsky works, also.
The last time he worked, they were still using vacuum tubes.
Right Wing Realist said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:58
I already pay for the roads I use through gas taxes.
Matt T. said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:58
Why should *I* have to pay for some bozos TV reception?
Your name just came up. It’s nothing personal.
Right Wing Realist said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:59
If you think I can afford a Hummer — even from a crack whore — you’ve got the wrong wing-nut.
owlbear1 said,
March 7, 2009 at 23:59
Why should *I* have to pay for some bozos TV reception?
You’re not paying for it, *I* am.
You’re paying for all those EXTRA Nuclear Missiles that will never be used…
Snorghagen said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:02
Better hyperinflated parasitic ponies than a menacing bunch of pink peonies.
Dale Gribble said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:03
With the economy in the tank all the Democrats in Congress can do now is hope and pray that the Dear Leader doesn’t fuck things up any more than he already has.
Not that it’ll make any difference in the minds of the voters, it’ll simply save what’s left of our once great republic from the specter of totalitarianism that Obama seems content on unleashing.
The Peonies said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:05
It’s nice to be remembered. We’ll keep that in mind. When we’ve taken over. Remind us. Just in case.
One of THEM said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:14
So how long did you stare at the computer screen while typing that Dougie P?
hehehehehehe
Dan D said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:16
I think this needed a “precious bodily fluids” reference. Can’t go wrong with Strangelove when mocking paranoid right wingers.
ckc (not kc) said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:18
…”you’ve got the wrong wing-nut”
are there going to be t-shirts??
tigrismus said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:21
Thank $Diety I’m not catholique!
ckc (not kc) said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:24
(well, now that he’s gone, all my comments just sound silly!)
(sorry, sillier.)
Greetings From Killfile City said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:27
We wouldn’t know.
Greetings From Killfile City said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:33
After all, we just want to be entertained, not challenged.
God forbid we put any effort into it.
Cargo said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:38
Sadlies, you need to read Debbie Schlussel’s review of Watchmen. Some good material there.
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2009/03/the_watchmen_li.html
Simba B said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:39
I think all you need to know about that movie is in the poster—
“From the visionary director of ’300′”
cowalker said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:53
I have to agree (Invisible Pink Unicorn and/or FSM help me!) with the wingnut that the delay in implementing DTV is stupid. Let’s face it, some people will never do anything about it until they’ve lost their signal. That’s called human nature. Everybody else had ample warning. Let the horror of no TV signal hit and then deal with it.
My guess is that intense government concern over this impending disaster is due their fear that the most irrational and prone to acting persons out are the ones who have failed to get converter boxes. They will be the ones making phone calls to government offices, muttering “What happened to my TV shows, why didn’t anyone tell me, I’ll take out the SOBs at city hall, blarrg schpit footzle.”
Righteous Bubba said,
March 8, 2009 at 0:55
I disagree with the wingnut. Let the market take care of it. There should never have been DTV legislation in the first place.
ckc (not kc) said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:02
OT, but deserving of cartoon comment…
http://news.mywebpal.com/news_tool_v2.cfm?pnpid=680&show=archivedetails&ArchiveID=1407944&om=1
Willy said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:19
Regarding the comeek referenced by ckc:
Can’t anyone on the right understand that it wasn’t the $5Tr mortgage market that tanked the economy but the $50Tr in side bets (CDOs and such) that were placed on the mortgage market?
ckc (not kc) said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:23
…hmmm, not exactly the comment I would have offered
Mike Godwin said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:26
Mike Godwin said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:26
Me neither!
FYWP
Rusty Shackleford said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:31
One nice thing about Schlussel’s blog is that she responds to her commenters in ALL CAPS, making the crazy nuggets easy to find. Viz:
owlbear1 said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:32
That Lester fella is down to his last compartment.
justme said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:40
I don’t know. It’s not a “free market” issue, as the airwaves are publicly owned. “We the Peeps”, via our douchebag proxies, decided that bandwidth could be more usefully apportioned than the, what, 50 or 70 year old existing distribution. Congress decided that it was worth all of us having to get new TVs or whatever to be able to do things with some very useful “real estate” that may not have been possible with technology in the ’40s. There was certainly no way in hell the ossified broadcast industry was just going to up and make the change of their own accord, even if we gave them the new bandwidth for free. Congress had to tell them to GTFO the frequencies it wanted.
I’m not entirely happy with the outcome. My reception still kind of sucks, and I live in a major city. That this was the once in a lifetime chance to do away with pulldowns and drop frame code, but noooOOOoooo, can’t have that, was a really stupid thing. Potentially having bandwidth that works through walls for first responders definitely seems like a good idea. Six—half-dozen, I suppose. I do like the idea of extra channels, though.
Of course, ultimately, it turns into a big fucking cash grab for someone, which is a huge part of what’s wrong with things on a rather larger scale, and is a subject that will be left for a different rant.
Rusty Shackleford said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:40
Oh crap, that was a commenter, not Debbie.
Which just proves my point
monkey knife fight said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:44
God, how I love demogoging.
Oh, demogog, demogog
demogog all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
demogog, demogog
demogog all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jonah Goldberg said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:48
Central. Central to your point, Rusty.
Willy said,
March 8, 2009 at 1:50
Sorry ckc. I guess I’ve become inured to the Obama=Hitler meme. After Dough E. Pantload’s shit-tome the Right’s hyperbole amplifier’s been set on 11. Like country music, I just tune it out. My bad.
ckc (not kc) said,
March 8, 2009 at 2:16
…Sorry ckc.
…you aren’t by any chance Canadian, are you?
Robert Green said,
March 8, 2009 at 2:22
there is a small town in eastern massachusetts, 20 miles from boston, americanthinkerton. already when you pull into town you find yourself in the country, isolated, with that unique new england feeling of loneliness. on a late fall day in 1926 young doug powers found himself driving in on his jalopy. the local bed and breakfast had a room and doug settled in for the evening by the fire.
the proprietor, one marie’ jon, sat down next to mr. powers as an odd light played across her face from the wood burning in front of her. “so mr. powers, are you here to write about the phenomena that have occurred of late in the hills by the old swank pasture?”
this question may have seemed out of the blue, marie’ was right–powers was here on behalf of the globe and the man always got his story.
“ms. jon’;;, i am indeed interested in the events of last june 21st. is it true that all the town’s cows are still missing, and the alkon place is now surrounded by a fecal body of water?”
“indeed, mr. powers.”
“one more question, ms. jon’&*&*$(@&$: who is demogog”
the fire went out. it was as if a spectre had entered the room, but little was mr. powers to know that this was only the beginning of his descent…
into the IDIOT WORLD OF AMERICAN THINKER
Simba B said,
March 8, 2009 at 2:26
This is fucking genius. You win 100 Internets, sir.
Willy said,
March 8, 2009 at 2:33
No, not Canadian but I spend time there (Quetico PP/Ontario) while on vacation. I live in the greater Chicago area but grew up in WI.
Theron said,
March 8, 2009 at 2:50
Me no got tooth fillings. Me safe. All your base are belong to us.
J— said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:00
One nice thing about Schlussel’s blog is that she responds to her commenters in ALL CAPS
This is, nonetheless, true.
mikey said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:01
The world suddenly seemed to tilt, and Doug looked frantically around. He jumped up and moved quickly toward the back of the room, where the dim, dusty shelves of unread tomes seemed to provide some concealment.
Doug was amazed to see Marie’s face bloom in a rapturous smile, as the room filled with the stench of brimstone and pizza farts.
“What is it?”, Doug demanded, crouching now in genuine fear as a cacophony of evil voices seemed to pull the very air out of the room. Marie only smiled. “It is Rush, come for another reckoning” she said in in a husky voice, her eyes wide with anticipation.
Doug was frightened. “Am I worthy?” he asked in a quavering voice.
“None of us are worthy” said Marie Jon’ as she hefted a nearby axe (Doug wondered how he had not seen it earlier) and advanced on the hapless pundit…
TBC
Simba B said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:03
Debbie Schlussel strikes me as having an all-caps personality.
Smut Clyde said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:03
“Contender Ministries” offer us The Coming War of Gog and Demagog, an Islamic Invasion?.
J— said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:11
Good news! Julia Gorin is now posting at the Big Hollywood.
noen said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:21
Debbie always brings teh funnie
Willy said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:36
OT but what the hey:
While researching the Bacon Explosion I found this:
Clueless in every regard.
tigrismus said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:45
YOU APPARENTLY HAVEN’T BEEN READING THE COMPLETELY OBSCENE DISGUSTING COMMENTS, MANY OF WHICH I’VE HAD TO REMOVE
, PRINT OUT AND SAVE FOR “DEBBIE TIME” LATER
Smut Clyde said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:50
Don’t get Doug P. started on the topic of pedogoging.
noen said,
March 8, 2009 at 3:58
Is pedodemagoging when you berate a student? Inquiring minds want to know.
J— said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:09
A strange program indeed, one that would not allow the blog proprietor to post comments on her own blog.
Smut Clyde said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:17
If I had a blog, I would set it up so that all comments appeared in a cutesy typeface with little hearts or smiley faces over the eyes — except for my own responses, which would appear in a firm masculine typeface so they stood out.
Smut Clyde said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:18
Umm, “over the i’s”. But you knew that.
Righteous Bubba said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:19
Drums fingers, waiting…
g said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:22
f you take your kids to see “Watchmen,” you’re a moron.
If you see it yourself, you’re also probably a moron and a vapid, indecent human being.
Um…Debbie did go see the movie, right?
Smut Clyde said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:25
THIS PROGRAM GIVES ME NO OTHER WAY OF DIFFERENTIATING MY RESPONSES TO COMMENTS.
By strange coincidence, I use exactly the same excuse for shouting during conversations.
mikey said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:26
Oh I could while away the hours
Telling truth to powers
Cutting through the fog
In my thoughts I would Pwn you
And I wouldn’t let you say “Poo”
If I only had a blog.
I could comment on the shitty
Like some eloquent Walter Mitty
If I only had a blog.
With my words I would bring change
Like a patriot on a gun range
If I only had a blog….
mikey
owlbear1 said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:29
I RESPOND TO ALL COMMENTERS IN CAPS, B/C THIS PROGRAM GIVES ME NO OTHER WAY OF DIFFERENTIATING MY RESPONSES TO COMMENTS.
That little “Posted by:” too tough figure out?
Smut Clyde said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:34
Oh I could while away the hours
Telling truth to powers
Doesn’t Marianne Faithfull sing that?
owlbear1 said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:35
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOKK8mAkiUI
noen said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:35
Damn it Mikey that’s great stuff. I love it.
J— said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:37
Why do the Orange County Sheriff’s Office and the FCC hate the free market?
Rightwingsnarkle said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:38
Apropos of nothing much except having a little fun with teh wingnuts:
Damn! I hate it when the cal me ‘Snarkie.’
Anywhoozle, my 2 minutes of internets fame came on Charles Krauthammer Hits The Nail On The Head.
BTW, my cited use of Craphammer is in the comment section of the eloquent Its War Against Success In America.
Oy, wingnuts. Who’d even guess such stupid existed?
Smut Clyde said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:43
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOKK8mAkiUI
versus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KV-PTK0UZ4
This is why I am banned from Karaoke nights.
If I only ran a pub, there would be silent Karaoke nights, for mimes.
noen said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:44
Some say… the Sun revolves around the Earth. Some say….
tigrismus said,
March 8, 2009 at 4:50
And I wouldn’t let you say “Poo”
Except for that part I loved it.
A Fine Parenthetical said,
March 8, 2009 at 5:44
as she hefted a nearby axe (Doug wondered how he had not seen it earlier)
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 5:54
If I had a blog
If I only ran a pub
Someone undergoing a mid-life crisis here?
Till said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:02
“Bacon Explosion” just has to be Doughy’s new nickname.
MzNicky said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:05
If I had a blog
I’d yammer in the mornin’
I’d yammer in the evenin’
All over the place
I’d yammer ’bout wingnuts
I’d yammer ’bout douchebags
I’d yammer ’bout love between the lefties and the libruls
All over the place
MzNicky said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:08
If I had a good blog
Deedle deedle deedle, deedle deedle deedle deedle dee
All day long I’d deedle-deedle-blog
If I had an awesome blog
Wouldn’t have to work hard
Deedle deedle deedle, deedle deedle deedle deedle dog
All day long I’d bloggy bloggy blog
If I had an awesome blog
SomeNYGuy said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:21
I want a blog
Just like the blog
That libeled dear old dad!
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:25
From J—’s link, we find the Orange County (Not the real one, btw.) Mug Shots of the Wk.
mikey said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:30
East Side, West Side, all around the ‘net
I held forth on the state of things ’cause chicks I could not get
Wingnuts and girls together, me and fire dog lake
We tripped the light fantastic with nothing important held at stake
East Side, West Side, all around the town
Sweet Tbogg did his happy thing without gaining much renown
All the fellas dug him, Atrios and Ackerman too
I read them all in my underpants in blissful solitude
East Side, West Side, we try to make the grade
We started swinging with Krugman, drinking the Soros Kool Aid
On to Teh Great Orange Satan, then a last drink at Tee Pee Emm
We won’t get home until morning ’cause Teh Sadlys are drunk again
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:36
Wow, mug shots by charge is cool.
Michelle Malkin said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:39
My bloggie lies over the ocean.
My bloggie lies over the sea.
My bloggie does not publish comments,
Unless they’re agreeing with me!
jim said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:40
Hah! I have neither fillings NOR a teevee set!
Here – just take a look through these sunglasses, & it’ll all become clear …
stryx said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:43
Drinkin black coffee
Drinkin black coffee
Drinkin black coffee
gonna stare at the blogs
PeeJ said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:44
*yawp* (barbarically)
I just woke up from my nap and haven’t read through the comments yet so bear with me if I rehash old material. I have to chime in here because I was pretty close to this whole enchilada in a professional capacity for several years.
The
total clusterfuck ofDTV cutover was planned and executed almost completely by the Bush admin. The delay, as many NAMericans know, is because they totally screwed up with getting people ready. The gummint run, gummint mandated, gummint administered program to make sure people wouldn’t be cut off from their presshusss teeeveee had, much like the creation of the Internetzes had, one central, overarching Congrefcritter who was “driving” the whole deal. The program started late, changed directions several times, dithered, dallied, did some 180′s, sucked up some more money, did some more 180′s, and so on and so forth. That nutball Congrefbeotch insisted that the gummint supply digital:analog signal converters (tuners) to every American that wanted one at gummint expense.It’s because that socialist program of giving things to people who were too lazy to buy a new TV was totally mismanaged, bungled and generally screwed up by design that caused the aforementioned wise solon in Congref (the one who “invented” it) to scream “NOOOOOOO! We have to try again!”
Can anyone identify that 2008 Presidentially ambitious Senator I’m talking about? Hmmm?
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:48
Wow, mug shots by charge is cool.
You wouldn’t want to look at just any old arrestee, would you?
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:53
Are the usual party crashers elsewhere? Perhaps they are getting that extra hour of sleep that daylight saving will be taking away. Any one that old & wretched needs it.
PeeJ said,
March 8, 2009 at 6:56
I don’t know what blog it is that I love so,
I only know I never wanna let it go
‘Cos it started somethin’, oh, can’t you see
That ever since I blogged there I think of pee
It happens to be true, I only want to blog with you.
Bonus classic video.
PeeJ said,
March 8, 2009 at 7:11
I’m….. waitin for wordpress
Got 26 comments in the mess
go to sadlyno load the page
feelin trick and snarky for idiots’ rage
Said I’m…..waiting for wordpress
Thanks, Lou.
PeeJ said,
March 8, 2009 at 7:37
Bonus freepers go to jail schadenfreude.
PeeJ said,
March 8, 2009 at 7:46
ESS AY turd ay night.
So, Kirk or Picard?
Proteus454 said,
March 8, 2009 at 7:49
SLOW Blog (da NA na nana, nanana)
Take it EASY (da NA na nana, nanana)
*embarrassed cough*…yeah…leeeeet’s pretend that didn’t just happen.
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:05
PeeJ, please!!
The classic vid is the original, dead ten yrs. last Monday.
PeeJ said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:27
Well yeah, but the BCR’s were such a 70′s abomination that I HAD to put that up. It’s classically bad, you know?
PeeJ said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:29
I just wanna make blogs with you….
SomeNYGuy said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:30
Thanks for the great link, Bouffant, but you’re being too lenient with PeeJ. Anyone who’d choose the Bay City Rollers over the Divine Dusty should be forced to clean Limbaugh’s toilet with his tongue. And I say that with love.
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:32
So bad it’s bad.
PeeJ said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:33
This is a thing I’ve never known before, it’s
called easy blogging. This is a place I’ve never
seen before, and my shit box tongue jacked
I theenk the proteon guy had the right idea – just forget that.
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:33
That’s some of that “tough love,” isn’t it?
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:38
Writing a web log is not easy. Web logging is some serious shit. It’s like constipation, forcing the exact words out.
Sez real author Richard Meltzer, about real writing.
commie atheist said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:51
I will turn you around, put hooks in your jaws and bring you out with your whole army – your horsemen fully armed, and a great horde with large and small shields, all of them brandishing their swords.
Ezekiel 38:1-6
Forty thousand headmen couldn’t make me change my mind
If I had to take the choice between the deafman and the blind
I know just where my feet should go and that’s enough for me
I turned around and knocked them down and walked across the sea
Hadn’t traveled very far when suddenly I saw
Three small ships a-sailing out towards a distant shore
So lighting up a cigarette I followed in pursuit
And found a secret cave where they obviously stashed their loot
Filling up my pockets, even stuffed it up my nose
I must have weighed a hundred tons between my head and toes
I ventured forth before the dawn had time to change its mind
And soaring high above the clouds I found a golden shrine
Laying down my treasure before the iron gate
Quickly rang the bell hoping I hadn’t come too late
But someone came along and told me not to waste my time
And when I asked him who he was he said, ‘Just look behind’
So I turned around and forty thousand headmen bit the dirt
Firing twenty shotguns each and man, it really hurt
But luckily for me they had to stop and then reload
And by the time they’d done that I was heading down the road
(Winwood/Capaldi)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73VXUZMOJdQ
commie atheist said,
March 8, 2009 at 8:56
The Bacon Explosion posting has since been viewed about 390,000 times. It first found a following among barbecue fans, but quickly spread to sites run by outdoor enthusiasts, off-roaders and hunters. (Several proposed venison-sausage versions.) It also got mentions on the Web site of Air America, the liberal radio network, and National Review, the conservative magazine. Jonah Goldberg at NationalReview.com wrote, “There must be a reason one reader after another sends me this every couple hours.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/dining/28bacon.html?_r=1&em
Heh. Indeed.
Johnny Pez said,
March 8, 2009 at 10:15
Your own personal weblog
Someone to read your prose
Someone who knows
justme said,
March 8, 2009 at 10:20
Middle name.
Doughy Bacon Explosion Pantload.
blecchh
commie atheist said,
March 8, 2009 at 10:46
BurtJack Prelutsky says, “It’s a very boring day.”There’s a penguin on my head…
commie atheist said,
March 8, 2009 at 10:46
I suppose a link would help…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG5rjKYkbC4&feature=related
Smut Clyde said,
March 8, 2009 at 10:50
I just wanna make blogs with you….
If that is a SAHB reference, I am impressed.
To write… the unreadable blog
To code… in aitch-tee-tee-pee
To add… Cascading sty-le sheets
To drink… endless coffee…
justme said,
March 8, 2009 at 11:05
A man’s best friend is his blog.
M. Bouffant said,
March 8, 2009 at 13:33
Good night, then.
N__B said,
March 8, 2009 at 15:34
When you’ve a blog
You’ve a blog all the way
From your first little post
To your last dying day
When you’ve a blog
And the shit hits the fan
You’re compelled to write
You’re a blogging-type man
You’re never alone
You’re never without comments
When company calls
You’re always in the basement
kiki said,
March 8, 2009 at 17:01
I’ve only got the germ of a song; perhaps someone could work with it. To the tune of The Smiths’ Girlfriend in a Coma:
Moron with a keyboard
I know, I know
He’s “serious”…
Honus said,
March 8, 2009 at 18:29
MB thanks for the Dusty. She’s great even when she’s lip syncing. Now I have to go listen to Son of A Preacher Man for a couple of hours. Maybe The Look of Love ten or twelve times too.
DAS said,
March 8, 2009 at 19:22
Actually Harry Shearer has had a bug in his bonnet about the DTV transition for a couple years now.
Indeed. Personally, I’ve long wondered whether the DTV transition is some sort of corporatist GOoPer plot. Why the #@$% do we need higher resolution to watch the crap on TV?
Actually, there is a problem with the DTV transition — some of us liberal, urban types live in places without good TV reception in our apartments and don’t have enough money to get cable. What happens when they switch to DTV? According to some our on the apartment roof antennas will no longer work … although I’ve been told in here in left blogostan that this won’t be an issue, what is to stop the transition from being used as an excuse for our stupid management corporations to stop maintaining the roof-top antennas leaving us without TV?
Of course the DTV transition delay is a liberal plot. It’s to delay the enactment of a GOoPer plot (in conjunction with the cable companies) to ensure we urban liberals can’t get out PBS (and our kids go nuts without PBS kids) unless we pay $$$ for cable.
Is that tinfoil hat enough for y’all?
Touchstone said,
March 9, 2009 at 15:54
oooooooooh — someone has serious control issues
touche!
You are The Man and you rule your den.
actor212 said,
March 9, 2009 at 17:42
it would have to be The American “Thinker” website where one of the qualifications for its writers appears to be a recent traumatic head injury.
FTW, Tintin, FTW.
MzNicky said,
March 18, 2009 at 0:10
This is a test.
MzNicky said,
March 18, 2009 at 0:13
This is a test.
Jack Elam said,
April 26, 2010 at 0:07
The INFIDEL fly rule!