Feb
26
26
Self-Awareness: The Unknown Ideal
Shorter Michelle Malkin:
Above: Doo-de-doo-de-doot, In-spec-tor Gid-get…
- Howl rage, O loyal reader, for here is a symbol of yourself, and it is weak and sneering at you.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Notes:
1 – Title cf.
2 – Original art came out insufficiently Malkinesque, i.e. lacked bizarre costume and/or angry grimace.
3 – Discarded title: ‘That’s So Ravening!’ caption “Oh snap!” cf.
4 – So you see, the Shorter is unlike the one thing about being a cephalopod: You put on your hat, you put on your shoes, and you’re dressed.
5 – Shorter John Stossel: “Opposite!!! Stimulus works = we are right Obama is wrong!!! ha ha work out details in fin. draft”
actor212 said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:23
I’m sorry, I don’t get the “shorter” and I can’t translate Malkinese…
Great name for a yappy little dog breed, by the way.
Woodrowfan said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:25
It that Alex Jones screaming at her? So much crazy in so small an area..
PeeJ said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:28
It shouldn’t be long before ACORN recruits “Octomom” Nadya Suleman to serve as the radical left-wing group’s foreclosure poster child.
Not likely. She got a $1 million offer to do porn. Not even ACORN, with the vast resources of Jewbanker Soros would pay her that much.
Gavin M. said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:30
It’s Alex Jones, the “liberal” who “attacked” her at the DNC!
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:32
I’m pretty sure I read this whole Malkin column virtually verbatim in a Townhall (or maybe American Thinker) comment thread several days ago. Seriously. Not kidding.
Rev. Dada Grind said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:34
Right-wingers seem to really hate poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake….
PeeJ said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:35
I think what she really means is, if only they hadn’t been at all diligent with not Joe the not plumber but in fact former welfare benefactor and tax evader who completely misrepresented himself in a stoopid™ attempt at political sabotage. Did I get that right?
PeeJ said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:41
Although, it is impressive of her to admit that nJtnP was a total fraud. Oh wait – she didn’t mean to do that, did she?
Bonus: pop-up ad at creators.com was for “Bharat Matrimony,” apparently a hybrid/DIY marriage arrangement service. Targeted to you know who’s.
Megann McAlthouse said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:41
The right’s love of synecdoche knows no bounds. One foreclosure victim bad, all foreclosure victims bad. One Arab bad, all Arabs bad. One Democrat corrupt, all Democrats corrupt. One Republican bad, he’s probably a closet Democrat.
Jacob Singer said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:42
Are ACORN thugs the little nuts that stand around on street corners, wearing leather jackets, smoking cigarettes, and harrassing the pedestrians? I hate those acorns.
bud said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:43
During the speech last night, Obama mentioned a girl from S.C. with the shoddy school and a Florida bank owner who gave millions away to his employees. I feel sorry for them. I do hope their counter tops are ready for inspection.
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:44
…slapped with a peace order…
*Ouch!*
Hey, that actually felt kinda nice
Some Guy said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:44
Dear Right Wing,
I’ll ignore Joe the Plummer the second you do.
Thanks.
I wonder if it’s possible for Malkin to take a picture where she’s not sneering in condescending self-importance.
Except for that when of her in a bikini in college, I mean.
El Cid said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:46
Ha! Michelle Malkin is awesome!!! She mentioned two completely unconnected objects of right wing hate in the first sentence alone!!!
Acorn! Octomom!
Still, that shouldn’t stop us from improving it. Here’s a start for an improvement.
t4toby said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:47
EWWW!!! Me no likey stretch-mark fetish!
Jacob Singer said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:47
Why does Michelle Malkin hate the troops?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/24/AR2009022403793.html?hpid=topnews
An excerpt:
“The housing crisis is hitting military families particularly hard, according to real estate agents and service member advocacy groups. Many who bought during the boom and must now relocate because of fresh orders are faced with selling their homes at a big loss. They are finding few buyers, or even renters, particularly in the hardest-hit markets. That is leaving some families facing options including renting at a loss, separation from their loved ones or, in some cases, foreclosure.”
Another Kiwi said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:50
Wow she can’t even see that the same media that built up Mrs. Mommmmmmmmmy and Not Joe is the same media that built her up.
Set the Phasers to stunned.
PeeJ said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:51
Why does Michelle Malkin hate the troops?
She hates everybody. Except for… um,..,
Scratch that. There are no exceptions.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:52
Boston folks: SadlyFest in March? I’m trying to gauge interest. I’ve got Anne Laurie and possibly DiffBrad.
Anyone else?
FlipYrWhig said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:54
Helicopter? Pshaw. They’d all be taking the Sin City high-speed rail line between Hollywood and Vegas while monitoring gay commie volcanoes.
WereBear said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:54
Just for chucks, I ran a “Michelle Malkin” image search and half the first page was of her with her face stretched into some sort of twisted grimace.
The other half, she looks quite nice. Must be from before she discovered liberals.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:55
And somewhere along the way they look vaguely menacingly at that CNBC guy.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
February 26, 2009 at 0:55
Not likely. She got a $1 million offer to do porn.
See? The Free Market holds the solution!
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:02
“The housing crisis is hitting military families particularly hard, according to real estate agents and service member advocacy groups. Many who bought during the boom and must now relocate because of fresh orders are faced with selling their homes at a big loss. They are finding few buyers, or even renters, particularly in the hardest-hit markets. That is leaving some families facing options including renting at a loss, separation from their loved ones or, in some cases, foreclosure.”
Ya think Michelle gives a shit?
Scott said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:07
Scratch that. There are no exceptions.
I worry about her kids. Seriously, I do.
SomeNYGuy said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:07
Ya think Michelle gives a shit?
Only in Jesse’s mouth, as a special treat on his birthday.
Brian X said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:09
WereBear:
I’ve always assumed Michelle the Anchor Baby was raised with a deep-seated loathing of the Japanese, and therefore it wasn’t too much of a stretch for her to hate everyone else too.
Regardless, isn’t everyone a little repulsed by Nadya Suleman? I think the main difference is that conservatives think she’s a leech, and liberals think she needs major mental help.
Oh, and ACORN ACORN ACORN.
Smut Clyde said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:09
the little nuts that stand around on street corners, wearing leather jackets, smoking cigarettes, and harrassing the pedestrians
Those are punkupines. Or do I mean gangaroos?
SomeNYGuy said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:10
I worry about her kids. Seriously, I do.
Oh, come on. It’s not like she’d advocate putting American-born Asians in internment camps or anything.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:10
Just wait til the foreclosure signs crop up in Malkin’s neighborhood and her home value plummets just as the Wingnut Welfare Well dries up.
Haid gon’ ’splode! Especially when Barry Hussein X saves her ass.
Smut Clyde said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:14
The right’s love of litotes knows no bounds.
FriggdFecksed.PeeJ said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:15
This has nothing to do with anything. It’s just too bizarre no to share. Maybe Gav can use it someday.
jurassicpork said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:16
The Freepers are coming, the Freepers are coming!
Those would be same Freepers, of course, who think that another Civil War is imminent because of Obama’s identification with Lincoln.
SomeNYGuy said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:19
Excuse me, but when did the Octomom become a liberal icon? Because I thought up until ten minutes ago she was the poster-girl for the anti-abortion mob.
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:23
Haha, someone seriously linked to 4chan as a source of insipation for future posts!
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:25
“inspiration”
“insipid”
Sorry, I get the two confused.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:26
Excuse me, but when did the Octomom become a liberal icon?
I heard Bill O’Reilly rant about how liberal permissiveness was destroying this country, which prominently featured Nadya Suleman and the chimpanzee attack. So, before that.
Wyatt Watts III said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:35
Moochers? Apparently Malkin has been huffin’ furniture polish and watching Turner Classic Movies again.
Sob stories? Yeah, yeah… and then that lug Mugsy and th’ rest of them flimflammers got the bum’s rush after one of ‘em tried to paste a flatfoot. And then some skirt dropped a dime on Benny Boy after he tried to play a little chin music on this jasper just out a’ stir.
Till said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:37
Shorter GOP party platform: I’ve got mine, Jack.
Smiling Mortician said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:38
Anyone else?
Were it not for the 2,581 miles between me and Boston, I would be so there.
militant moochers…
I love Cab Calloway.
Smut Clyde said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:45
4chan is a source of inspissation for future posts!
Just Alison said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:47
Who inspissated in the soup?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:48
I love Cab Calloway.
Damn, beat me to that one.
They was some loooww-down hooooochie-coochas…
El Cid said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:48
As someone on a blog pointed out (maybe it was here, I dunno), the Octomom is much more representative of the lunatic fundamentalist rightie Christians encouraged by Bush Jr. by talk of “snowflake babies” than any liberal view I can place.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:48
err, red-hot, not low-down.
Smut Clyde said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:49
It was merely stock before I inspissated it.
bayville said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:52
Besides the fact that Malkin obviously knows less about the mortgage business than probably these “predatory homeowners”, she manages to type one of the great unintentionally ironic closing paragraphs in column writing history:
In short, it’s the reporters fault for not being diligent enough in conducting background checks on “militant moochers” who convinced unsuspecting Mortgage Brokers to doctor ridiculous loan applications.
She doesn’t mention the brokers were probably performing FRAUD for FREE.
Wheeew! Michelle, don’t bogart that joint.
Smiling Mortician said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:55
err, red-hot, not low-down.
False dilemma.
El Cid said,
February 26, 2009 at 1:56
What is this ACORN “thug” business? What kind of self-respective conservative could describe housing rights activists as “thugs”? Have they beaten up some big tough conservatives? Are conservatives afraid to venture into the streets for fear of…
…Oh, I get it.
“ACORN thugs” is right-speak now for “those angry-looking Negroes”.
Just Alison said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:01
Smut’s a banker! Smut’s responsible for the financial collapse! Smut turned all the stock into soup!
Sorry, it’s a slow day here at Chez Alison, work is grinding me down, and my head’s going all spinny. Many many apologies to all right-thinking persons.
Oh, and multitudinous congrats to Jennifer, who seems to have become the most sought-after person in the whole USA. Go, Jennifer!
commie atheist said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:10
A little backstory on that Malkin photo here:
http://www.infowars.com/alex-jones-confronts-michelle-malkin-at-the-dnc/
The video is awesome (as in car-wreck-awesome), although a bit jumpy at times. So lovely to see two lunatics screaming at each other.
Principal Blackman said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:16
Excuse me, but when did the Octomom become a liberal icon? Because I thought up until ten minutes ago she was the poster-girl for the anti-abortion mob.
I was wondering the same thing. Shouldn’t the wingnuts be heralding her for not having an octobortion?
Dan Someone said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:18
Still waiting for a goddam Chicago SadlyFest.
Marsupial said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:21
Hey Gav — when the notes to a post become longer than the post, shouldn’t they spin-off on their own? This isn’t a financial report.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:22
Excuse me, but when did the Octomom become a liberal icon?
Anyone who gets their dander up becomes a liberal icon… the guy who reduced the amount of Cheetos per bag, the guy who raised the cover price on “Juggs” magazine.
t4toby said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:22
I’d just like to again say:
EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!
YUCKETY YUCK YUCK GROSS YUCK!
I mean is that belong in the bestiality or the fetish section?
Who the fuck want to see the woman, who just delivered a literal litter, get naked and have sex?
There is not enough brain bleach in the world to wash away that image, and I’ve seen some pretty sick shit.
Sorry, I just had to get that off of my chest.
commie atheist said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:23
I was wondering the same thing. Shouldn’t the wingnuts be heralding her for not having an octobortion?
Well, for one thing, she’s not married, like this paragon of virtue:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/skyzyx/249270409/
Marsupial said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:24
Who the fuck want to see the woman, who just delivered a literal litter, get naked and have sex?
Well, it’s not like she delivered them the usual way.
‘Course, there’s gotta be a lot of extra skin hanging around…
Candy said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:26
I love the way septuplet losermom Bobbie McCaughey and her worthless husband Kenny were heroes to the religious right, and octuplet mom is just a mooch. Personally I think all three parents are crazy but it’s really funny to see the cognitive dissonance building up in wingnut skulls. I’m surprised there isn’t visible steam shooting out of their ears as the pressure rises.
stackozone said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:27
Shorter Malkin: “Because ACORN is full of left-wing, Black-Panther, Militant, Communist, welfare-mom, America-hating, mortgage-taking-despoiling brown violent, weapon-carrying, thuggish, assaulting, media-manipulating, power-hungry, brown, homosexual-abortion-loving, magnetic-field-mouse-levitating, anchor-baby (whew!), not-at-ALL-white, law=breaking, illegal-immigrant-job-stealing, fanatical marxist-leftist-blancmange, America-hating, anti-semite, Isreal-destroying-loving, international-jewish-banker-conspiracy America-destroyers, we should only listen to rational voices of political discourse, such as myself, or any of the other conservative members of “the syndicate of talent’”.
Thank you.
PS – they still list Benazir Bhutto as a “contributing opinion columnist” & Box-turtle Ben – ’nuff said…
commie atheist said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:30
PS – they still list Benazir Bhutto as a “contributing opinion columnist” & Box-turtle Ben – ’nuff said…
Not to mention Molly Ivins…and that picture of Hillary must be from the mid-90’s.
tigrismus said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:43
“ACORN thugs” is right-speak now for “those angry-looking Negroes”.
God help us if they ever get a “thizzle” going.
And If only the reporters swallowing their stories were half as diligent about background checks of ACORN thugs as they were with Joe the Plumber my ass. They ate Joe the Plumber up, Jesus, they’re still eating him up. If the ACORN stuff becomes as big a story as he was made, they’ll do background research on them, too, assuming they haven’t already. Wait, hold up, she read all this in the Baltimore City Paper? WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?
Gavin M. said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:49
Ah yes, but what would actually happen would be a 300-word bagatelle that sat around the drafts folder unfinished. And then another. And eventually the material would get old and I’d cannibalize it for the pictures.
I mean, self-awareness is in the very title of the post here, you know?
Smut Clyde said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:50
“ACORN thugs” is right-speak now for “those angry-looking Negroes”.
This explains the creepy stalker troll’s verbal tic of adding ‘thug’ whenever he uses the word ‘black’.
Woodrowfan said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:51
It’s Alex Jones, the “liberal” who “attacked” her at the DNC!
Jones as a liberal? oh my. Someone should remind her Jones was a “Clinton Crazy” harping on the so-called Clinton Death List when she was still a lousy local reporter making up crap in the Pacific Northwest…
Another Kiwi said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:52
Some relation to the Stainless Steel Rat?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:53
This explains the creepy stalker troll’s verbal tic of adding ‘thug’ whenever he uses the word ‘black’.
So it does. I never did figure out what “thizzle” was.
stackozone said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:55
Not to mention the “image” of Novucula – that must be from the 13th century…
tigrismus said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:55
Love the new engraved look images, btw, Gavin.
Smut Clyde said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:56
I never did figure out what “thizzle” was.
It’s what a bull uses to thiss.
tigrismus said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:57
magnetic-field-mouse-levitating
The magmouse trains squeak a bit at first, but it eventually goes away.
MzNicky said,
February 26, 2009 at 2:57
“Who the fuck want to see the woman, who just delivered a literal litter, get naked and have sex?”
“Well, it’s not like she delivered them the usual way. ‘Course, there’s gotta be a lot of extra skin hanging around…”
Ha ha! And just the other thread or so ago, some were being castigated as “bluenoses” and “PC purity squad” for offering a wan note of squeamishness concerning the portrayals around here on occasion of female sexuality. Wherever do such outrageous notions come from, I wonder!
WereBear said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:09
Had to say thanks for Harry Harrison reference…
Does Malkin know she’s too crazy for Fox News? Because she’s not toning it down.
Smut Clyde said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:14
The magmouse trains squeak a bit at first, but it eventually goes away.
Brings to mind the suggestion from a New Scientist reader that since cats always turn in mid-air to land on their feet, and toast slices always turn to land buttered-side-down, cats and toast could be strapped together so that they hang in midair, spinning wildly… providing the central engine for a levitating train.
Stephen Ockham said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:14
I think I missed a beat (or at least a few comment threads), what is all this about field mice? I don’t get the reference.
Smut Clyde said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:17
First you have to understand the distinction between boson-field mice and fermion-field mice.
kiki said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:17
Are ACORN thugs the little nuts that stand around on street corners, wearing leather jackets, smoking cigarettes, and harrassing the pedestrians?
On Saturday nights they have Clockwork Orange-style ‘rumbles’ with the California Raisins.
tigrismus said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:20
Apparently Drudge claimed some of the stimulus funds were going toward protecting the Salt Marsh Harvest Mouse in the San Francisco Bay area.
stackozone said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:20
Sorry, but wouldn’t this violate the Toast-Tabby law of thermal dynamics? You can’t get power from nothing, unless you cotton on to the republican’s latest energy producing idea of drilling down and tapping the power of the mantle-zombies.
tigrismus said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:24
For Jacob Singer and kiki
tigrismus said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:27
Sorry, but wouldn’t this violate the Toast-Tabby law of thermal dynamics? You can’t get power from nothing
Yes, but you can get electricity from cats, you just need to get enough fairies to comb the sparks out.
g said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:32
Well, lookee here. Joe the Plumber’s book has hit the stands.
Let’s all hit the Amazon reviews section……
Lesley said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:33
Watertiger has some first rate photoshopped Jindal. If you squint real hard, he could pass for Annette Funicello. An uglier version.
Lesley said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:35
Joe the fucking plumber wrote a book? What’s the typeface? Early Kindergarten?
stackozone said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:42
Actally, it’s Freehand Crayon Bold
Lesley said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:43
Amazon link.
ckc (not kc) said,
February 26, 2009 at 3:46
Yes, but you can get electricity from cats, you just need to get enough fairies to comb the sparks out.
I’ve always found that a balloon will do the trick.
El Cid said,
February 26, 2009 at 4:00
No, we’re talking about Not-Joe the Not-Plumber. Joe the Fucking Plumber is a different character, whose works are available in many adult movie shops.
ckc (not kc) said,
February 26, 2009 at 4:14
viz.
Snowwy said,
February 26, 2009 at 4:15
Here’s the “most helpful” positive review over at Amazon:
Snowwy said,
February 26, 2009 at 4:16
FYWP, I closed that fucking blockquote!
SomeNYGuy said,
February 26, 2009 at 4:34
Snowwy, you’re aware that the review you quoted is a spoof? Say the writer’s name three times fast.
Brandi said,
February 26, 2009 at 4:53
Brings to mind the suggestion from a New Scientist reader that since cats always turn in mid-air to land on their feet, and toast slices always turn to land buttered-side-down, cats and toast could be strapped together so that they hang in midair, spinning wildly… providing the central engine for a levitating train.
It does not work that way. The cat will briefly touch down feet-first, then immediately throw itself onto its back and writhe around to dislodge the toast (grinding it into the carpet, incidentally).
Then it will bite you and go sulking off to piss in every shoe you own.
Another Kiwi said,
February 26, 2009 at 4:56
No worries. I used to love the Rat stories.
If the spinning cats could be fed with boson field mice we could get FTL trains. Commute to work in Sydney, Smut Clyde? One would never get the crossword done.
ckc (not kc) said,
February 26, 2009 at 4:56
…writhe around to dislodge the toast …
Breakfast without orange juice (and cat/toast) is like a day without sunshine!
ckc (not kc) said,
February 26, 2009 at 5:05
btw – I miss Anita Bryant!
Mike Hawke said,
February 26, 2009 at 5:11
Next time, aim better.
EnfantTerrible said,
February 26, 2009 at 5:13
Possible picture caption: “Damn, why are so many of these countertops built so high?
Snowwy said,
February 26, 2009 at 5:44
Oh damnit. All these wingnuts have my parody detectors pegged out! I can’t tell the difference any more!
laym said,
February 26, 2009 at 5:45
SadlyFest in March?
Hmm … possibly? maybe? I’m mostly a lurker here, so I suppose I could go to the pub, stand outside, and occasionally open the door and shout out some random comment.
SomeNYGuy said,
February 26, 2009 at 5:48
I suppose I could go to the pub, stand outside, and occasionally open the door and shout out some random comment.
Oh, please — that’s my usual behavior at family weddings!
laym said,
February 26, 2009 at 5:56
that’s my usual behavior at family weddings
And then there was the weeping, the recriminations, the frowning looks of disappointment …
SomeNYGuy said,
February 26, 2009 at 6:04
And then there was the weeping, the recriminations, the frowning looks of disappointment …
Now you’re describing my sex life.
SomeNYGuy said,
February 26, 2009 at 6:06
Snowwy, I’ve just submitted an Amazon review of my own under the nom de snark “Patriotic American.” I hope it appears on the site, and I hope you’ll enjoy it.
Arky said,
February 26, 2009 at 6:12
CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS CHECK THE COUNTERS
for ACORNS!!!!1
Did I pass the audition for “Who wants to be a shrieking she-beast from hell?”
Lesley said,
February 26, 2009 at 6:14
Joe the Fucking Plumber is a different character, whose works are available in many adult movie shops.
Haha, El Cid.
jim said,
February 26, 2009 at 6:55
No wonder Jones is howling at her … she’s plainly displaying powerful & nefarious super-secret Masonic regalia on her chin!
I’m sure she’s got a perfectly reasonable explanation as to how the loan-approval folks got snookered into throwing big money around like a pissed-up sailor on shore-leave – for years on end. Right alongside the DemPlot to hypnotically turn the banking & corporate communities into even bigger cash-gobbling scumbags than usual, until they finally wound up having zero contact with economic reality – for years on end.
Waiting with baited breath for the day someone finally convinces Malkin to run for office. America, fuck yeah!
Octomom Porn? Ohhhh yeahhhh. Bring it ON, baby – preferably in the form of a three-way with Cat Lady & Michael Jackson. Or maybe Nancy Pfotenhauer & “Joe” the “Plumber” (after his latest schtick craters). Get Larry Flynt on it, quick, while he’s still alive. I’m not saying I’d actually WATCH it, but I’d sure as hell heartily approve of the surrealism.
Oregon Guy said,
February 26, 2009 at 6:59
Well, Laym, if you’re the random comment guy, I’m the “geez I’m not really as funny as everyone else here” guy. Maybe I’ll show up dressed as Francisco Franco.
g said,
February 26, 2009 at 7:09
I love the Amazon reviews. Just the headlines are enough! how about this:
Should be required reading in Schools!
Too bad this one doesn’t have Amazon’s “look inside” feature.
henry lewis said,
February 26, 2009 at 7:17
bagatelle that sat around the drafts folder unfinished
Bagatelle – is that flaky like a croissant?
Lancelot Link said,
February 26, 2009 at 7:51
Arky – Did I pass the audition for “Who wants to be a shrieking she-beast from hell?”
No, but you do have a promising future as a malfunctioning robot.
henry lewis said,
February 26, 2009 at 7:57
Damn! I went and killed the thread.
Major Kong said,
February 26, 2009 at 14:24
since cats always turn in mid-air to land on their feet, and toast slices always turn to land buttered-side-down, cats and toast could be strapped together so that they hang in midair, spinning wildly… providing the central engine for a levitating train.
I couldn’t get the cat to hold still long enough to strap the toast to its back. Anybody got any bandages by the way?
Aaron said,
February 26, 2009 at 17:33
I couldn’t get the cat to hold still long enough to strap the toast to its back. Anybody got any bandages by the way?
It’s actually not that hard. Just put the toast someplace where you don’t want the cat to go first.
tigrismus said,
February 26, 2009 at 18:01
Or pretend to be reading it intently.
fdc said,
February 26, 2009 at 20:35
Gawd that’s still my favorite alex jones moment