11
Debbonics: The Debbonicles Of Schvartznia
Cinema house concern troll Debbie Schlussel relates a series of imaginary jive-laced exchanges she endured with the Coloreds at a recent penny dreadful screening. Sadly, her gently dispensed advice on the proper upbringing of pickaninnies seems to have been met with naked impudence:
Tonight, I saw–or rather, heard–at least two crying babies at the ‘Friday the 13th’ showing. And I saw at least two parents with VERY young, impressionable kids. It was one of those times I wish I had a video camera with me. I spoke with each of these parents I saw. …
First, there was a single Black mother with her baby. I shouted to her, ‘Why did you bring a baby to “Friday the 13th”?’ ‘Shut up, bitch,’ was the response. To another film critic’s questions, she and her friends said, ‘Mind ya own damn bid’ness.’ Um, well, we would, if we wouldn’t have to hear the result of your bid’ness throughout the movie, sister.
Then, there was the single Black father and his aging mother with a baby. I’d bet money his mother is raising this grandkid. They were parked next to me, and after the movie, I asked, ‘Why was it necessary for you to bring your baby to “Friday the 13th”? Don’t you think that’s rude and irresponsible?’
His response: ‘He say he wanna get scared.’
Me: ‘Huh? How old is this kid? Can he even talk?’
Baby Daddy: ‘He one-year-old.’
Me: ‘A one-year-old can understand what’s going on in “Friday the 13th”? Come on …’
Baby Daddy: ‘You’d be surprised.’
Me, getting into my car [and locking all the doors with pepper spray at the ready -- ed.]: ‘Well, that’s very irresponsible parenting and very rude to the rest of us who heard his crying.’
Properly chastened, Baby Daddy would go on to father a dozen fewer illegitimate children than he had originally planned for that night’s wilding.
Meanwhile, the color-blind Debbie had been done sawed some broke-ass crackuhs who be takin’ dey scair’t l’il chilluns to de same pitcha sho’. . .and sho’ nuff ain’t she g’wine git all up in dey bid’ness jes’ de same as dem triflin’ black folk!
White Single Mother #1 took two young daughters to see this disgustingly violent, explicitly sexual movie. …
Me: “Great parenting. You’re a moron.”
All that, folks, and she’s available for parties!
Lesley said,
February 11, 2009 at 10:57
Wait, I thought only trash went to see Friday the 13th. This would explain Debbie’s presence there. She be the white trash.
conumbdrum said,
February 11, 2009 at 10:59
“this disgustingly violent, explicitly sexual movie…”
So why, by Grabthar’s hammer, was the Schlusselgruber attending this film in the first place? Oh, yeah, I forgot — she’s a “movie critic.”
Hey, give her credit… douchenozzle that she is, at least Debbie takes the time to actually SEE the movie in question before spewing her moralistic boilerplate. That’s better than a lot of wingnut scolds manage.
Some rich right-winger should produce a teen slasher film where all the victims are Muslim. Not only would the Schlusselkopf give it two major thumbs up, she’d probably masturbate noisily throughout.
M. Bouffant said,
February 11, 2009 at 11:06
But isn’t it a conservative “disgustingly violent, explicitly sexual movie,” ’cause the chill’ns having sex get justly punished for it?
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii said,
February 11, 2009 at 11:36
Shut up, bitch,’ was the response
What a remarkably restrained response.
owlbear1 said,
February 11, 2009 at 12:10
Tick Tock Debbie…
Those ovaries aren’t getting any younger.
jerry said,
February 11, 2009 at 12:22
Obviously none of those things actually happened, which just makes it funnier. The James Frey of the retard set.
Magda Carter said,
February 11, 2009 at 12:45
Air of total unreality about it.
OTT, but I was hanging out to see a Sadly response to this story on Fox ‘News’, which links the Australian bush fires to something called ‘forest jihad’. It’s screaming for the treatment.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,490306,00.html
Soj said,
February 11, 2009 at 12:57
Hilarious, first she describes it as a “special screening for critics” then you find out later it’s a completely free Friday night giveaway to anyone (hence the little kids).
She then lambastes people for bringing kids instead of “leaving them at home”, presumably with a sitter.
MAYBE people are there on Friday night watching this piece of crap movie because the economy sucks, they are dead broke and free tickets to a movie is all they can afford.
MAYBE the little kids are there because again, no money for a sitter.
Hilariously in the piece she supposedly cusses at a White mother (why she capitalizes the races is just weird) and the mother supposedly chastises Debbie for cursing. Debbie retorts by saying “well the movie was full of cussing” to which the mother rejoins: “Yes but that’s not real.”
Perfectly encapsulates wingnut mentality:
Hollywood movies (which ARE fiction) = that which is ruining society and corrupting youth
Wingnuts (who ARE real people) = can do and say what they want and since it’s for “the good of others” it’s fine.
Pax
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii said,
February 11, 2009 at 13:12
If you haven’t seen this already:
Conservatism is not punk rock, but the Frankfurt School is!
g said,
February 11, 2009 at 13:38
Not going to the link before my coffee, but can I ask you all to confirm the hilarity…..?
Little Snack-cakes
1) attends a violent and sexually explicit movie, and tut-tuts other attendees for their choice in film?
2) Shouts questions at strangers and then pronounces their less-than satisfactory responses “rude.”
3) has magical powers to determine the marital status of people she has never met
3) deplores exposing children to violence and sexual content, but ridcules a father’s facetious assertion that the child “wants to be scared,” because babies can’t understand anything on the screen.
4) whilst railing against rude black people, defends her own use of the word “bitch.”
Any other highlights?
g said,
February 11, 2009 at 13:42
It also is more replete with topless, heavily-implanted women, sexual language and content, and a prolongued, very explicit sex scene.
And she watched every second just so she could monitor it. Looks like Debbie has issues (in addition to spelling.)
Gary Ruppert said,
February 11, 2009 at 13:50
The fact is, we now have a non-Christian, non-American, Marxist in the White House.
Don’t argue with me. I read more than you do.
Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,
February 11, 2009 at 13:55
Why on Earth again do the republicans not understand when they’re charged with being a racist party? Someone (other than Gary) please remind me…
Susan of Texas said,
February 11, 2009 at 14:03
I foolishly decided to read the Bible to my kids and had to stop because of all the God-approved sex and violence. They didn’t care about the sex and violence, but they were very upset at the thought of God ordering people to kill other people.
PlusDistance said,
February 11, 2009 at 14:36
You missed the best part, at the very end:
The stuff to which you subject your children is the stuff that they will be.
Garbage in, garbage out. And sadly, we have a lot of trash to take out in America.
Let’s take out the trash before it takes us out.sadly, we have a lot of trash to take out in America.
Waiiit for it…
Let’s take out the trash before it takes us out.
And how, Debbie, are “we” supposed to “take out” those one-year-old and ten-year-old kids? s
Major Kong said,
February 11, 2009 at 14:51
I would think Debbie would like teen slasher flicks like Friday the 13th. The teens who have sex are always the first ones to be killed.
jon said,
February 11, 2009 at 14:58
Stupid person comments on stupid people at stupid movie?
Of course I read every word!
Arky said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:04
Just remember folks, if you see a single person out in public with a child, they must be a single parent, which of course means unholy, makes-Baby-Jesus-weep sexxors! And welfare.
So on the one hand the child can’t understand what’s going on in the movie. Yet this will still turn him into a rutting, axe murdering maniac. Hmmm.
I hope the dad remembers his Close Encounter of the Slushy Kind. He’ll know who to blame when the boy grows up to be a drooling fReichtard with a lip-liner and implant fetish.
Total Win.
g said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:20
Debbie has a very odd way of relating to children. She talks about a mother with “very young” daughters, and then relates that the youngest of the two daughters is eleven.
Then there’s the “teeny tiny” ten year old boy.
I think she hasn’t been around children much, at least, not to speak with them.
Babies that cry? Such a shocking development!
Her ability to mind-read the parent’s motivations for their actions – ie., to deliberately and selfishly annoy Debbie – is positively Andy Rooney-ish in curmudgeonry. I’m surprised she doesn’t accuse them of deliberating making their babies cry, just to piss her off.
Also – she’s taking 4 parents out of an audience of how many people to show us that civilization is ending?
Michael G said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:28
Maybe both parties would be happier if the film started with this disclaimer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Vf3VzVbrXU
His Grace said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:29
From her bio…
Is it possible to make this into a reality show?
g said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:32
The stuff to which you subject your children is the stuff that they will be.
Deb certainly does ably demonstrate that someone who goes to “Friday the 13th” is trashy.
R. Porrofatto said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:34
Geez, Debbie, you’re not even trying to make it look real. A special critics screening? For you? Please.
Also, if you’re going to make up racist dialect you should be consistent or everyone can see you’re making it up. For example, if you invent a character named Baby Daddy who says things like “He one-year-old,” that same character should say, ” “you be surprised” not “you’d.” (See your Bigoted Asshole’s Style Guide, page 37, under Jigaboo, “Omission of Auxiliary Verbs and Verb Tense.”)
g said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:37
Debbie Schlussel’s commentaries on American movies remind me of the scene in “Confederacy of Dunces” when Ignatius Reilly visit to the Prytania Theatre.
She’s a lot like Ignatius. Without the charm.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:39
Those ovaries aren’t getting any younger.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Deb’s biological clock
Is whirling around
At the speed of sound
Hickory Dickory Dock
kg said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:43
I’m still wondering if he busted up her chiffarobe for her?
owlbear1 said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:48
The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Malkin
HAHAHA
David said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:53
They could have taken the kids to see what was playing on the other screen, Errol Morris’ Standard Operating Procedure, but then Debbie would consider that exposing children to pornography.
digitusmedius said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:56
Leaving the question unasked: wtf is any adult with half a brain doing at FT13th? One hopes the laydee went home and directly to her mirror and told herself what a dweeb she is.
Legalize said,
February 11, 2009 at 15:59
I was stunned to learn that folks sitting at a free screening of Friday the 13th weren’t quietly and soberly taking in the superlative cinematography and mis-en-scene! I wonder if the floor was all sticky too.
BlackBloc said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:12
Gee it’s almost like some people showing up at a free screening didn’t have any money for a sitter…
Anonymous said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:14
One hopes the laydee went home and directly to her mirror and told herself what a dweeb she is.
I think she calls that “Friday night”. Gotta keep that tongue sharp.
Anonymous said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:16
digitusmedius, I wrote you a comment but wordpress eated it.
I think Debbie talking down to her reflected self is a typical Friday night activity in the Schlussel household.
Sondra said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:24
Teehee…you left out the best part of one quote where the WSM#2 gives her a reality check…
me: “Why are you taking a ten-year-old to see such a graphic violent movie?”
WSM #2: “It’s only a movie. And, yeah, I know it’s violent and stuff, but he knows right from wrong. And ya know, it’s only a movie and stuff.”
Me: “Huh? That’s Bullsh-t. He’s only ten and you’re taking him to a movie where people are hacked to death, burned alive, and otherwise killed in morbid, grisly ways?”
WSM #2: “I can’t believe you just cussed in front of my son.”
Me: “Why does that suddenly bother you, since you just dragged your ten-year-old son to a movie at eleven o-clock at night, in which they’re swearing throughout the entire movie? [Every other word is sh-t, f-ck, the p-word, etc.] You’re completely irresponsible.”
WSM #2: “Well, that’s not real. Mind your own business.” *Teehee!*
Julia Grey said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:26
and a prolongued, very explicit sex scene.
I just want to know how she imagined there was a “U” in prolonged.
Unless she was somehow simultaneously thinking of, um, TONGUES?
Naw.
El Cid said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:26
I myself have witnessed the frightening event of uptight white person in movie theater trying to lecture assertive black women about their behavior.
It was a horror movie, and the black women kept screaming out and whatnot, and uptight small bald white guy tried to tell them to shut up, said black women asked said gentleman if he was aiming to get his ass kicked, which prompted aforementioned gentleman to shut the f*** up.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:28
Please say dat dere Debbie din’t! She din’t get all in some betches faces an diss on dem, did she? She be steppin’ hard, man! Dat some grade A frontin’ dat honkee beeyatch be doin’!
Mike's Dumbmerica said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:31
I went to a showing of “Gangs of New York” with my wife and was surprised to see one of my fifth-grade students come in with his parents.
During the scene where Bill the Butcher is pontificating about something while guys are screwing hookers in the background, I looked over at the kid and thought, “Well, this is going to be awkward on Monday morning.”
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:33
My vote for best part you left out: how children being taken to violent movies is worse than 9/11.
ignatov said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:33
[Every other word is sh-t, f-ck, the p-word, etc.]
The p-word?
henry lewis said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:37
The p-word?
It’s either penis or purple.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:42
My only inappropriate movie theatre moment came when I took my eight year old (maybe she was a bit older, can’t recall) to the NY premiere of “Shakespeare In Love.”
Remember, this was released before the MPAA started to explain why a movie would get an R rating.
I’m thinking, you know, Gwynneth Paltrow, period piece, all that. Should be safe, even if it got a dicey rating. Probably has some sword fighting in it, some shit like that.
Needless to say, some of the sex scenes had to be explained later….
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:43
When I was a kid, my parents investigated the movies I saw BEFORE I saw them. They didn’t let me see the movies I was too young to see. They didn’t view parenting as a passive, go-through-the-motions avocation.
And look how you turned out: a childless, bitter scold. Nice job, Ma and Pa Schlussel!
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:43
The p-word?
pBlart.
The “p” is silent.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:48
The conservative genre of Horrible Blacks In The Theatre is an excellent example of the wonder-working power of the confirmation bias – because theater audiences tend to be predominantly lower-middle-class (and the American lower-middle class is significantly less white than the general population), the movies is the only time a lot of wingnuts are around a significant number of black people.
So in general, white people yelling at the screen become ‘Man, that guy is crass’. Black people yelling at the screen become ‘Man, blacks are crass.’ And every minor little incident, including the bog-standard screaming baby, is filtered through a different lens if a black person is doing it – because it’s never just some black person but The Blacks.
So that’s that. Add to the excellent observation by g that she seems to know nothing about children (hilariously enough, what with her having decided to be some kind of inept Catcher In The Rye-style defender of the wee ones), and you’ve basically got a racist version of the author of horrible fan-fic Heliopolis, who made a seven-year-old character talk like a Victorian toddler. (‘You gwan dan-don’ is the best-remembered line, but it was a persistent, ridiculous thing.)
What little Schlussel knows about the world is the product of wingnut osmosis, so she has a ‘baby daddy’ (interesting enough, what with the right’s constant bleating that The Problem With Those Coloreds is that the fathers don’t stick around) ebomagically attribute complex desires to a baby in a way no actual parent would. (‘He likes to hang out with me’ would be the anticipated answer – early parents anticipate favoritism pretty heavily and the implicit division of labor becomes very important, something Schlussel has evidently never observed.) I suspect the first draft attributed the understanding to a haint, and ended when he decided that talking had become too much hard work, sho’nuff.
The only thing I can buy as authentic is ‘Shut up, bitch’, because it’s not covered in cork like it’s auditioning for Bamboozled II: Electric Jigaboo. Which reminds me so very much of Fox’s patented ambush journo-porno – like the mealy-mouthed little jagoff expecting to be insulted by the wacky anarchists in ’08 and then, after they refused to talk, whined about them suppressing his First Amendment rights to annoy them personally and in detail.
This is, in short, one of the major existential problems with the Republican Party. Twenty years ago, Schlussel would have been (at best) the final relay in a local limb of the echo chamber, or perhaps one of the people who corner you at work and rant half-remembered Limbaugh attack lines. These days, her lurid dogmatic fantasies are being received as observed wisdom and acted on by the smallest wheels; the kind of Todd-style Dirty Angry Urbans fantasist who should be making up the rank and file have risen to party gatekeeper. How can a party which is being run by people who take cues in reality from recent games of Dungeons and Darkies keep afloat?
Legalize said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:50
“The p-word?”
pfuck?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:54
I was lucky enough to see one of the old style double feature kung-fu/horror movies on 42nd street in the 80s before they Disney-fied Times Square. The rest of the theatre was mostly filled with African-Americans, some which were emoting towards the screen more than all the actors were. Constant interruptions by ushers coming through the audience attempting to silence them. Popcorn flying through the air. There was an undercurrent of violence that far exceeded anything on the screen, mixed with our laughter at being in such a mess.
My buddy and I were laughing the whole time – we knew what we had come for and weren’t disappointed. A slice of NYC now, sadly, scrubbed away.
Davis said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:55
I’ve actually known people who make up stories that make them look good. The stories are just enough over the top to fail the believability test and usually involve them standing up to someone and telling them off or even punching them out. Fantasies of the weak. Schlussel’s story is completely made up. She went to see Friday the 13th? Alone? In an apparently racially mixed neighborhood? Told off several blacks? Hah!
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 16:57
Those are books.
Cowalker said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:00
Someone could write a thoughtful piece about the effect of presenting explicit portrayals of sex and violence as entertainment to children.
I mean, maybe there are studies out there that have found cause and effect between early exposure to simulated sex acts and simulated murder and later behavior. You know, instead of having a person with no experience as a parent making lots of assumptions and ranting about how everyone should be raised just as she was. (Presumably, nowadays, it would have to be in a closed community with no access to the TV networks or the internet or video games.)
Maybe someday, someone will.
Legalize said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:00
pFail?
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:00
Me too. If there’s one thing you should take to a movie it’s that.
D. Aristophanes said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:00
True, RB, but accuracy must take a back seat to embellishment in honor of Debs.
OTB said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:03
Reminds me of the time I went to see Schindler’s List and there were a couple of jews MAKING OUT.
What? It was? You sure?
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:03
Speaking of cultural critics…
“Just give me five minutes alone with Sean Penn. (Or Hugh Jackman.)”
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:04
She went to see Friday the 13th? Alone? In an apparently racially mixed neighborhood? Told off several blacks? Hah!
We probably could give a miss to the bits she didn’t write about, about how she was followed out by a large man, and had to duck into an alley, but he found her and made her degrade herself for hours, on her knees and stuff, but never could file a police report and made sure she went back to the same theatre again the next night.
Her vibrator got quite the workout that night!
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:05
If you were to remake Schindler’s List and make the victims as swarthy as their murderers thought they were, the Republicans would root for the SS.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:06
> And look how you turned out: a childless, bitter scold. Nice job, Ma and Pa Schlussel!
A whole warehouse of jokes and obvervations (sometimes correct) about Jewish men marrying gentiles to avoid the kind of bitch that StayPuftMalkin come to mind.
BTW, since what she did in the theatre is a lot like the
investigatingstalking that Malkin does, I think StayPuftStalkin’ is an apt moniker for this over-educated (and extremely unwise) idiot.D.N. Nation said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:07
And then Ms. Schlussel confided in her Canadian boyfriend, right after almost being arrested for paying with a $2 bill at Taco Bell.
Till said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:09
She probably just got overexcited while turning around some magazines.
The P Word said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:10
POOP
LOL said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:10
So Friday night my friends and I got wasted…, and I thought it’d be hilarious to leave Debbie a drunk message. I didn’t, but her Voicemail is hilarious! She then called me on Sunday, thinking I was someone from the media begging her to come on a show, but sadly, no. And again, she sounds just as drunk and idiotic as she does on TV and Youtube and anywhere else.
Djur said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:11
There’s three kinds of people who capitalize race names: a lot of sociologists, black nationalists, and white supremacists. Guess which one Deb is.
Cowalker said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:11
“Just give me five minutes alone with . . . Hugh Jackman”
F**k, yeah!
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:11
The P word is obviously ‘honky’.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:15
Steve Vai plays circles around Stevie Ray Vaughn ;-)
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:16
And then Ms. Schlussel confided in her Canadian boyfriend, right after almost being arrested for paying with a $2 bill at Taco Bell.
And then after she got home, she looked on the roof of her car, and THERE WAS THE HOOK!
Down with the bruthas said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:18
Ever notice how, more than 30 years later, when white folks try to rap they still use the same inflection/cadence as “Rapper’s Delight”?
G said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:18
I wish I was there. I would’ve only responded in Snoop lyrics and profanity.
I really feel like rational discussions with irrational people is a waste of time and opportunity. I’d much rather jump down to her batshit crazy level and have some fun.
What kind of asswipe goes to the movies and expects everyone to sit down and behave like preschool?
You don’t wanna be bothered during a movie? Got to an art house theatre. You’ll be the only one there. Or get Netflix. Or wait ’til it comes out and go to Blockbuster like the rest of us.
Debbie SnackCakes: I will fight to the death for my right to watch a terrible movie uninterrupted by Negruhs and Negresses!
Evie said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:20
“Those ovaries aren’t getting any younger.” – owlbear1
“Hickory Dickory Dock
Deb’s biological clock
Is whirling around
At the speed of sound” – OB GYN Kenobi
Just… wow.
Why the sexism and misogyny from fellow liberals/progressives?
I’m all for making fun of wingnuts but this isn’t the right way to go about it.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:24
So you’ve got a hayseed girl and her brother going into kintergarten. His parents, like good civilized rurals, have had a lot of kids, so they’ve had to be a little creative with names; they eventually get to the point that they just name ‘em after shit they see lying around.
So the teacher is going around and asking them their names, and right between Paris and Colt is our heroine. The teacher asks, “And what’s your name?”
She replies, “Wagon-Wheel.”
“What? That can’t possibly be your name.”
“I’m dead serious, sir. My Christian given name is Wagon-Wheel.”
“Young lady, school might be a strange new place but you can’t go around trying to fool people like that.” The teacher sighs. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to go to the principal.”
She scowls, and turns to her brother. “I reckon they won’t believe you either,” says she, “so you best come along, Tremendous Black Dick Tearing My Ass Apart.”
Meanwhile in the REAL real world said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:25
Banker goes down to the
welfare officeBush’s office, eight Learjets in tow. El Chimpo asks how much money he gambled away and wants taxpayers to give him.“They all need to buy at least six yachts” says the banker.
“They all need six yachts?” asks El Chimpo. From the other room, an enraged President Cheney yells out, “shut up you worm and give him his money! We’ll use the the usual diversion about welfare queens to keep our flock of docile tools enraged about niggers so they don’t ask about the bankers too much.”
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:28
I’m Debbie Schlussel / and I’m here to say / coloreds are terrible / in every way / a bhh / a pssh / Arabs are gay
Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:30
This site needs Digg. Or is that kind of over? This kind of story needs more coverage. They won’t let me submit any more as a new user or I’d do it.
Dreamweasel said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:31
I’m with Evie on this one. Debbie’s an appalling, paranoid racist, but the cracks about her age & her ovaries are just unnecessary cheap shots which take all older women down a notch. Not cool.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:31
Evie, please don’t forget to rebuke Actor for his apparent racism, to wit:
Please say dat dere Debbie din’t! She din’t get all in some betches faces an diss on dem, did she? She be steppin’ hard, man! Dat some grade A frontin’ dat honkee beeyatch be doin’!
I think you may have missed that, with quite a few other racist and sexist comments in this thread, too. Respectfully, if you feel my comment was sexist and misogynistic, then I encourage you to look upon it as an opportunity to engage me in dialogue, not to judge and pontificate.
Down with the bruthas said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:31
I’m Debbie Schlussel / and I’m here to say / coloreds are terrible / in every way / a bhh / a pssh / Arabs are gay
And if you don’t like it/leave the U.S.A.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:32
I’m Debbie Schlussel / and I’m here to say / coloreds are terrible / in every way / a bhh / a pssh / Arabs are gay
A hip, hop, a hippity to the hip hip hop
You don’t stop talking
So I come a walking
An’ drop you to the funkiest beat.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:33
Evie, please don’t forget to rebuke Actor for his apparent racism
I was riffing off Schlussel’s own use of Ebonics.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:33
That reminds me of a favorite Camille Paglia maunder:
Palin’s ‘exuberance’ – ‘street rapping’, no less! Lordy lou, it’s like these people live in the Prime Breeding Ground Of Nameless Wack MCs or something.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:34
To-wit:
His response: ‘He say he wanna get scared.’
Me: ‘Huh? How old is this kid? Can he even talk?’
Baby Daddy: ‘He one-year-old.’
Me: ‘A one-year-old can understand what’s going on in “Friday the 13th”? Come on …’
Baby Daddy: ‘You’d be surprised.’
I be surprised she be addin’ dat estra “d” in “You’d”…
LOL said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:35
This site needs Digg. Or is that kind of over? This kind of story needs more coverage. They won’t let me submit any more as a new user or I’d do it.
I dugg it already, Lex. http://digg.com/movies/Debbonics_The_Debbonicles_Of_Schvartznia
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:36
So who are the other 4,999,999 punks with you, Fool?
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:37
Angry Whitey troll needs more Devo.
Debbie Schlussel said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:37
OK, so it wasn’t ‘Friday the 13th’, it was ‘Benjamin Button’. And I didn’t get in for free. But the rest is totally true.
Well, OK, the baby wasn’t really crying, it just coughed a bit. And I didn’t really say anything about it. But there was totally a black guy in the audience.
OK, Asian.
kiki said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:39
Fuck I hate music nerds and their pet bands/genres. I’m sure The Fool thinks he sounds like Hunter Thompson or something, but all I hear is “Picard is totally a better captain than Kirk”.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:41
I dunno, I have to say I find it essentially germane to an angry, childless asshole constantly scolding ethnics about their terrible parenting.
If she were a man it’d be about impotence. Then again, it’s always about impotence, but…
Aet said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:41
Let’s put aside the obvious appeal to racism for a moment.
She does have a point: it takes a pretty shitty parent to bring a toddler into a horror movie. And crying children is worse than a ringing cellphone.
And you can be a cineaphile and still go watch crappy movies, if only to appreciate how terrible they really are. The Onion’s AV Club (the biggest elitists short of award shows) actually has that as _several_ prominent features. And its not like there are a lot of great movies out right now…
OTB said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:42
Q. How many punk rockers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. 50. One to change the light bulb and 49 on the guest list.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:43
> That reminds me of a favorite Camille Paglia maunder:
And then Paglia intellectualized how admirable the stupidity displayed by Mooseburger was.
Levels upon levels of irony, lost (as usual) on the wingnuts.
Legalize said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:44
“Maybe. But Steve Vai has no soul and Stevie Ray does.”
Hell, even Richard Nixon has got soul.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:47
I don’t get it.
That doesn’t surprise me. “Deadhead” has more than one meaning.
The Bottom Line on Music Criticism said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:47
On day X, musician Y played better than musician Z.
On day W, musician Z played better than musician Y.
That’s all.
Legalize said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:49
Can we please have a thread about what is and what is not punk rock? Even better, how ’bout a thread about what is and what is not indie rock.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:50
Bzzz! Penalty, reifying school achievement instruments. Ten Puddle of Mudd singles.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:50
She does have a point: it takes a pretty shitty parent to bring a toddler into a horror movie. And crying children is worse than a ringing cellphone.
It’s true, she has that as a point.
But here’s the thing: she riffs off that and takes it to confronting (and then demeaning) the folks who brought the kid in, and presents as fact what is clearly a completely created set of encounters, which is what we’re reacting to.
If she had written a column along the lines of “you know what really annoys me?”, who’d really find much fault with that?
But that she obviously overdramatized herself into some costume-wearing Moviegirl, Protector of the Downtrodden Who Merely Want Silent makes this worth mockery.
owlbear1 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:51
Evie in what way is the statement “Those ovaries aren’t getting any younger.” a sexist remark?
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:51
Just out of curiosity, what’s your IQ? SAT/GRE scores?
Higher than yours.
This is one dick fight you don’t want to get into.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:51
All music sucks, except for the kind that plays in my head. I’d tell you more about it, but that would be “selling out,” and if someone else liked it, I just couldn’t abide that.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:53
Trust me, Fool. You couldn’t possibly have scored higher.
The Goddamn Batman Wails On Half-A-Dozen Hockey-Mask-Wearing Nutjobs As A Warmup For A Night Of Crimefighting said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:54
Is that like complaining that, when she showed up for her regular Thursday night bukkake session, one of the guy participants wouldn’t hold the door open for her?
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:54
Watch, he’s gonna say 200 and it’s gonna be hilarious. Then we can all kill a Hindoo and laugh about it.
henry lewis said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:56
Jif is totally better than Skippy.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:58
Jif is totally better than Skippy.
Pfft. DIY peanut butter, man. Refuse to support the corporate overlords of Big Peanut.
D. Aristophanes said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:59
My IQ is over 9,000 and my SAT score is a blart cubed times infinity plus a pony.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 17:59
This SAT-score conversation was embarrassing when we were all 18.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:00
Could be, but not.
Legalize said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:00
“Legalize: better yet let’s have a thread about which sux ass more: punk or indie rock.”
Sorry. Only you and your co-workers at Papa John’s are qualified to engage in such conversations. Make me a copy of the new Nickelback tape?
D. Aristophanes said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:01
Also, I have to reach down to the floor just to scratch the first third of my dick.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:01
Flip, it’s why I didn’t really want to start engaging Fool. Right there, he proved that he has some…issues….with regards to his scores.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:01
Also, I have to reach down to the floor just to scratch the first third of my dick.
Poor boy, that’s why they built basements into my house.
kc said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:02
Crying babies in movies annoy the HELL out of me.
That said:
First, there was a single Black mother with her baby. I shouted to her, ‘Why did you bring a baby to “Friday the 13th”?’ ‘Shut up, bitch,’ was the response.
My hat’s off to that “Black mother.” I think “Shut up, bitch” is the appropriate response to pretty much anything Schussel says.
“Radical Muslims want to kill us all!” “Shut up, bitch.”
“Pass the salt.” “Shut up, bitch.”
etc.
D. Aristophanes said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:04
Yes, but did I mention I was standing on top of the Burj Dubai, and by ‘floor’ I meant the shores of the Dead Sea?
owlbear1 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:05
One time I took an IQ test and got a 135 then I took it again and got a 165, the third time was the charm.
My IQ is perfect.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:05
a) Ain’t any of you read Mismeasure? IQ tests are barely an effective measure of how well someone is going to do on an IQ test.
b) Actual IQ tests aren’t routinely administered in any setting besides serious scholastic disciplinary problems, and in that case it’s just a generic measure of whether a special-needs student is underperforming or overstrained. 50 is as good as 90 and 120 as good as 300 in that respect – and in terms of the extremely young ages at which this typically happens (8 is atypically old, so a 50 would only require 4 years behind and a 200 would only require 8 years ahead), the scores are so skewed as to make any naturalistic interpretation useless – and to make them poor determinants of adult intelligence any which way.
c) And don’t even get started on SAT/ACT/GRE. They’re so heavily skewed towards being born into the right district that only the American academy could take them sitting down without being shot at for it.
d) And finally, MENSA-tards aside, there is in fact an effective bound on the (worthless, rarely-measured) IQ score: between 140 and 150. Because the IQ is set up under the assumption that intelligence follows a normal distribution (if this isn’t true the test is essentially meaningless anyway), after 140 one is discussing differences so sharp (between the 999th permillile and the 999999th permegile) that no test could possibly be as objective as to make a realistic ranking measurement.
e) You wacky manchildren.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:06
Why do racists always capitalize “black” when they write about black people?
Is it because they think it’s the most important thing about someone? A throwback to some Victorian usage? Or some other pathetic grab at dignity for their bankrupt ideas?
henry lewis said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:06
My IQ has been well-pulverized by booze, marijuana, mushrooms, LSD, fluorescent light, diesel fumes, 80′s sitcoms and internet porn.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:07
Yes, but did I mention I was standing on top of the Burj Dubai, and by ‘floor’ I meant the shores of the Dead Sea?
Really?
Did I mention I was standing on what was left of the Apollo 11 moon lander when I scratched mine in my basement, which is the Marianas Trench?
D.N. Nation said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:08
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist- I’ve seen plenty of non-racists capitalize it. Also seen plenty of African-Americans capitalize it. I’ve always thought the general idea was as follows: Brazillian, French, Black, White, etc.
FWIW, AP style says to just use “black.”
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:08
I took the ACT instead of the SAT just so I wouldn’t get involved in little dick fights later in life.
IOW, I was wiser than the lot of you when I was 14 (yep, that’s when I took it :-).
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:08
Fool, no I called you a “deadhead” and then you decided to whip your dick out.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:09
Refer to Djur above: capitalization is a relic of the scientific idea of race (something that has been thoroughly demolished in biology but holds particular sway in pop culture), and is primarily a white-supremacist or black-nationalist thing. David Duke or Louis Farrakhan.
Anyone else doing it is bad style.
owlbear1 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:11
Gentlemen.
Legalize said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:11
How many Deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:11
Responding to being called an idiot by demanding a public comparison of gold stars on your permanent record is why the Internet is so wonderful.
kiki said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:14
5 million to sit around endlessly bitching about the old one
Yes, it’s terrible when people carp on about how things were better in the old days. I can see how that would upset a happy-go-lucky, live-and-let-live, non-judgmental type like yourself.
Saint Jesus's Real World Review said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:17
The plural of anecdote is niggers.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:18
I’ve seen plenty of non-racists capitalize it. Also seen plenty of African-Americans capitalize it. I’ve always thought the general idea was as follows: Brazillian, French, Black, White, etc.
OK. I hadn’t noticed the usage from anyone other than lamers like li’l Debbie, but I’m not the world’s most osbervant.
D. Aristophanes said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:18
Ahh, you have enlightened me, my moderately endowed chum, but I failed to mention that whenever I discuss my own prodigious appendage it is always in the context of some future (at this point only theoretical) juncture at which the ‘Big Crunch’ of the universe scales back the nigh-infinite length of my member to proportions that can be dealt with on a sub-galactic level.
henry lewis said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:18
Gentlemen
ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS??!!?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:18
I came close, but never matched, the IQ that my father had. He was rigorously tested in the 50′s and got scored at 168. He was the most brilliant man I ever met, and I spent years in academia.
The people I have met who mention that they belong to Mensa, like Debbie, always strike me as pretty dumb.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:20
Meanwhile In the Real World said,
Hiya Fanboi! I’m so glad you hang onto my every word!
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:20
DA,
Bah!
I create my own singularity when I get excited.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:21
At which you point you whipped out a gigantic dildo and called it your dick.
OK, you’re a dick, Fool, but you’re my dick. And a fake one, to boot.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:22
The stuff to which you subject your children is the stuff that they will be.
Garbage in, garbage out.
Says another patron to this fine piece of film-making.
One time I took an IQ test and got a 135 then I took it again and got a 165, the third time was the charm.
My IQ is perfect.
I was told I wasn’t qualified; I had to take the J.R. test and work my way up.
On day X, musician Y played better than musician Z.
On day W, musician Z played better than musician Y.
Indeed, there is no more interesting topic of debate than “this decade’s rhythmically simple monodic song form is better than that decade’s.”
D. Aristophanes said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:24
Wait, actor212 and the Fool are (shudder) ALL THE SAME GUY?!?!? That brings back memories …
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:24
My dad is basically as close as people get to knowing how to put together a cyborg, but being dysgraphic performs horrendously on tests.
This is the main reason I don’t discuss tests or IQ or whatever. He’s probably smarter than I am, but I was lucky enough to inherit OCD instead of a reading disorder. This kind of shit is everywhere.
And Schlussel is, sadly to say, not exactly atypical of MENSA. She’s a more purely racist version of the stupid song and dance from people like her and McArdle where being born on third plate makes them Babe Ruth.
kiki said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:26
…so thank you Sadly No for a few moments of levity…
And you only had to spend half your waking life here to see it! Congrats.
Your work here is done, then. You can fuck off now.
Duros62 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:30
“Just give me five minutes alone with . . . Hugh Jackman”
F**k, yeah!
Is that gonna be on Pay-Per-View? ‘Cuz I’d totally watch that.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:32
actor/aristophanes: my dick is bigger than yours in every possible world.
Are you sure your IQ is up to par with mine?
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:33
Wait, actor212 and the Fool are (shudder) ALL THE SAME GUY?!?!?
Thanks. I haven’t had lunch yet, you know.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:34
Leaving the question unasked: wtf is any adult with half a brain doing at FT13th?
Didn’t you see the part about FREE? Wingnut welfare doesn’t pay what it used to.
Updated bio:
Duros62 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:39
actor: actually I merely inquired into your scores without characterizing my own in any way. At which you point you whipped out a gigantic dildo and called it your dick.
And yet, NOBODY FUCKING CARES!
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:41
Fool, you are living up to your nym. ;-)
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:42
What’s the point in having a dick so big that all you can do with it is block out the sun? Seriously, even Schlussenheifer couldn’t accomodate the kinds of members you’re describing. I guess what I’m asking is “is this disturbingly out-sized protuberance-itude something that’s only happened recently, or are you doomed to a life of virginity?”
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:42
Fool, it’s time for you to desquatulate the premises. You have been massively pwn3d.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:43
I pity The Fool, is my only reply.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:44
Upon disrobing and finding your partner is massively cockified: “what do you expect me to with that, throw it over my shoulder and burp it? I’m outta here.
handy said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:45
Ever notice how, more than 30 years later, when white folks try to rap they still use the same inflection/cadence as “Rapper’s Delight”?
Clap your hands, everybody! And everybody clap your hands!
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:47
Fool, I apologize. I really didn’t mean to embarass you. Had I known you’d be so underwhelming, I would have let it go much earlier.
Please. Forgive me.
kg said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:48
WTF is up with SN comments these days?
Comrade Dread said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:48
Her tone and stupid patronizing attributing all of her quotes in ebonics aside, I don’t understand exactly why folks are okay with taking young kids to movies with graphic sex, violence, and horror?
Yes, we’re all cutting back and I’m know some people can’t afford a sitter, but you can start up with Netflix for the cost of one movie ticket a month and watch this stuff after the kiddies are in bed.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:50
I’m sure you are, Fool. I just didn’t realize I was dealing with a low-normal.
D.N. Nation said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:52
Sure. But being an horse’s ass in pursuit of truism still makes you a horse’s ass.
Also…my mother, a kindergarten teacher, told me a while back that she had a bunch of kids in her class come as Ledger’s Joker for Halloween. I mean…really?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:52
From the comments over at Big Loserwood:
“See thats your problem Manny Moral Equivelency. I bet you don’t even know what Moral Equivelency means.”
Maybe she can look up what the word “dictionary” means – if she knows where to look it up in.
http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/scrowder/2009/02/10/lonewolf-diaries-christian-obama-voters-the-ultimate-oxy-moron/#comment-166402
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:52
As I suspected, Fool went with the highest number in the range provided to avoid looking like a complete imbecile. (And also with the standard idiotic line about ‘inflation’ of IQ scores in the 90s, something nativists lurved until it turned out, unlike the ebonics squawking, to not even have a small amount of truth behind it – IQ scores are always measured against a 100 mean.)
And you know what? When I said ’140 to 150′? I was deliberately inflating the numbers. The actual effective range of high intelligence is 110 to 140, and measurements more precise than multiples of 5 are rarely achieved in a scientific setting (they imply a ratio which isn’t actually achievable by human beings; the difference between an IQ of 145 and 149 at age 30 is 1.2 years, a precision to which no one has attempted to measure IQ since the 50s – and that’s a generous number; for an age of 12, the difference would be between 17.88 years and 17.40 years, or 25 mental weeks, a patent absurdity).
I know none of you really needed the confirmation that Foolio is a lying dipshit, but it’s nice to have hard numbers telling you as much. He’s definitely an expert on punk rock, though – he’s at least five months smarter than you!!!
Gary Ruppert said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:53
The fact is, once Republicans have mastered Twitter, the Democrat Party is doomed.
The Fool said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:56
Truth be told, I haven’t actually seen my dick in many years. It’s pretty well hidden in billowing rolls of fat.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Massively Cockified said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:56
Upon disrobing and finding your partner is massively cockified: “what do you expect me to with that, throw it over my shoulder and burp it? I’m outta here.
Thank you, PeeJ – not for stating the point I was trying to make earlier so elegantly – but for giving us the phrase “massively cockified”.
The Fool said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:57
I confess that when I was younger and less fat, I tried to suck it myself but I couldn’t get my mouth anywhere near it.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:58
Um, Fool, sprezzatura called, and asked you to look into it.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:58
‘Cuz kids have a concept of fiction (‘Batman is not real’) from an early age, whether or not they have a strong concept (‘Batman doesn’t know Robin is not real’) yet.
The major pedagogical problem I see in our culture is that we fixate on sexuality to an extreme degree, and in the process generally ingore that America is a less child-friendly society than ever whether or not it involves bumping uglies. Toys have been replaced with action figures, children’s programming has gradually given way to mind-numbing extended marketing exercises, and the most people expect children to get out of the ever-more-advanced computers available to us is dressed-up memory bagatelles.
My contrarian, inexpert opinion is that, among others (Animal Crossing, the earliest The Sims titles, notably not Spore), one of the better toys in the classic sense of our generation are the Grand Theft Auto series; it’s a Lego set in an era of He-Man poseables.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:58
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Massively Cockified
Isn’t this redundant and repetitive?
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 18:59
The pleasure was all mine, DKW.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:00
We’ll make a punk of you yet, shit-for-brains.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:00
“See thats your problem Manny Moral Equivelency. I bet you don’t even know what Moral Equivelency means.”
Unless Equivelency was that Mexican guy who did the space-y lounge music in the 50s-60s, that makes two of us.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:01
The fact is, branes that score high on the scholastic tests taste the same as other branes; delicious. The fact is, mostly it’s easier to catch people who waste their time bragging about their SAT scores….
Gary Ruppert said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:01
The fact is, liberals are all stupid and have IQs below normal, which is why they are class warriors and hate USA and think they are so smart, they are just dupes for Commies and Jihad.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:02
Unless Equivelency was that Mexican guy who did the space-y lounge music in the 50s-60s, that makes two of us.
Manny Mora Esquivel-Ency. He thinks his bachelor pad is like Hitler’s.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Massively Cockified said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:03
I, for one, think that The Fool is actually understating how Massively Cockified he is. I’d guess that he’s actually about 5′ 6″ and 250 lbs of dick.
Anyways, since we’re talking about IQ’s, I wonder what happened to that Massively Cockified rat-fucker from Zombie Thread – myiq2xu. That guy was so thoroughly cockified that I wondered if it hurt for him to pound on the keyboard with his glans so hard.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:03
> And Jesus if you;re trying to make some point about the possibility of scoring 149, you’re absolutely wrong. I did in fact get that score on an official IQ test conducted at a very, very reputable high school.
Has to be from a Troll Fool, what with that “high school” thing. If not, the Fool really is a fool (as if he hasn’t proven that a thousandfold already)
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:03
The fact is, liberals are all stupid and have IQs below normal, which is why they are class warriors and hate USA and think they are so smart, they are just dupes for Commies and Jihad.
Gary Ruppert IS Charles Murray in _The Charles Murray Story_!
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:04
After reading that I do have one serious question for you: Are you a man or a woman? I mean genetically, as in sex, not gender. Come to think of it, what gender are you?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:04
perfect SAT scores mean you get to be SHIFT MANAGER at Fuddruckers. Wear your flair!
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:06
my wife is a total piece of ass
He’s right, you know. ;-)
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:08
The fact is, branes are a fascinating mathematical and physical concept. The Fool is an example of a 0-brane.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:09
Glory days… they’ll pass you by…
N.C. said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:10
I, indeed, scored a 1610 on the SAT, since I am just so supra-perfect that my mental acuity defies your petty limitations of “numbers”.
I went to a tech school, so I knew plenty of people who were book-smart, standardized-test-acing geniuses but amazingly socially retarded. The point I am making: it may possibly be calling from inside the house!!
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:11
Win.
Giant floppy dicks are the tax cuts of American porno: certain people seem to believe they’re always necessary, but good luck trying to satisfy them.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:11
Sure he’s not a black p-brane, PeeJ?
Conservative Observer said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:12
I see the liberals are continuing their full-scale assault on the capitalist system.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:12
If you saw her back in the day, your jaw would drop.
I know her’s did ;-)
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:12
Actor: I was riffing off Schlussel’s own use of Ebonics.
I recognize that, and I hope you understand that I wasn’t picking on you.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:12
I see the bankers are continuing their full-scale assault on the capitalist system.
Fixed your post
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:13
OB,
Just making sure, more for the folks who might have missed her use.
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:14
I sincerely apologize for raising something far off the topic of this riveting discussion, but it turns out Eric Cantor is a bigger moron than I thought (via).
Conservative Observer said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:14
The liberals just make bankers and CEOs the boogeymen to discredit the entire capitalist system.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:14
On the subject of musicians, specifically, drummers, here is the real deal. He makes Buddy Rich look like a piker!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtuUO25QiGg
(for the terminally stupid [AKA, Fools], this post is to illustrate just how stupid it is to argue about who’s best)
Dragon-King Wangchuck, my redundantly cockified IQ = 2 x u said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:15
pH33r mi r0XX0RZZZ IQ.
Brag all you want but My IQ = double yours times infinity, no touchbacks.
My SAT Scores are double yours as well, so even if you scored a Perfect Test!!!!!, I scored a Double Perfect Test so nyah! nyah!
Benchpresses? Back in the day I could curl 250 free weight with my left hand – no wait, double 250!!!! It was – uh – metric!
You’ve got a hot wife? My wife is 2x hotter. She’s running a fever of 197 degrees!
Your high school IQ tested everyone in freshman year? Well my twice as high school IQ tested everyone and their families, TWICE!!!!
I think we all know what this means. I’m suffering from sleep deprivation again.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:15
The liberals just make bankers and CEOs the boogeymen to discredit the entire capitalist system.
Boy have you got US wrong!
We use them to JUSTIFY the entire capitalist system! Please do try to keep up…
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:16
I know her’s did ;-)
Oops.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:18
Meanwhile In the Real World
Racist troll is racist, Troof be told.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:18
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/jock-itch/DS00490
This has been a public cervix announcement.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:19
When are you going to answer the question, Foul?
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:20
Actor dared me to whip it out
No, I specifically warned you not to.
N.C. said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:21
Morbid curiosity time: what do you do for a living that apparently didn’t require any of that book-larnin’ down at the ol’ red schoolhouse what’s run by the commies?
Paul T Lazaro said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:22
“I don’t know actor but it sounds like you’re demanding I whip it out so here it is. You tell me:
IQ = 149
SAT = 750v/740m
GRE = 800v/740m
Also, with the exception of the IQ, I took these tests in the 70’s and early 80’s. If you took them in the 90’s or later, your scores are inflated.”
I took mine in 1969 when they at their most accurate:
IQ = 150
SAT = 751v/741m
GRE = 801v/741m
So feel that!
Duros62 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:22
Read in the voice of the Simpson’s comic book guy.
Jacob Singer said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:22
Man, this place is weird lately.
Paul T Lazaro said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:23
“were at”
Conservative Observer said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:23
Wait until we are back in power libs.
You’re centralizing a lot of power in the federal government–power we will use against you when we are back in power. We will investigate you and humiliate you and destroy your unions and make YOU pay, using the power you have to the government against YOU!
Wait until 2010 and 2012.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:24
> Why is that? My high school gave everyone an IQ test freshman year,
Duh. As alec pointed out, since IQ measures mental age, an IQ test when you were a freshmen (even worse than I thought) has little bearing on anything. It’s known as the margin of error. I hate to be pedantic, but since you kind of lack common sense, I have to so you’ll understand.
If you get 5 wrong out of 100, that is less precise than getting 50 wrong out of 1000. I’m not getting paid enough for my posts here to fully explain it to you, so just trust me. The same applies for a test score based on age.
The only IQ test I took was when I was 12 (also a HS freshman, BTW) It is kinda meaningless because of statistical factors like margin of error. On the other hand, I don’t mind bragging about my father’s IQ since he did it in his late 20′s.
N.C. said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:24
You’re centralizing a lot of power in the federal government–power we will use against you when we are back in power.
lord knows the Republicans never spent the last 8 years on such dastardly liberal governing concepts as “the department of homeland security” or “the unitary executive” or “line-item vetos”
Conservative Observer said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:25
And we’ll find Soros, and ACORN, and other concentrations of power of left wing power and MAKE THEM PAY! Just wait!
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Inadequately Cockified for this Contest said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:25
Sorry if it makes you feel inadequate.
Okay, confession time. My actual dick isn’t Massively Cockified. I would say it’s in the normal range of sizes – but I’m one of those weirdos who’ve never actually put a tape measure on it. I know you’re all disappointed that someone who’s so obsessed with PENIS (in a totally heterosexual way) doesn’t have precise measurements – well, I apologize to you, but the idea of actually taking measurements of my dick strikes me as retardedly stupid and so unbelievably insecure that I don’t think I’m man enough to try.
Saint Jesus's Real World Review said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:25
Again, the plural of anecdote is niggers.
Don’t you ever get tired of wasting your valuable interracial-porn time repeating yourself? Shit, you’re being robbed blind by rich old white men who you couldn’t shoot in a million years and some white lady successfully undoing a theft of $100 gets your blood riled? You’re what’s wrong with democracy, son.
N.C. said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:25
That should’ve been a blockquote, but since I am a liberal I will blame WordPress for my personal failings and then pop down to the corner shop for a chocolate malt and an abortion
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:27
> You’re centralizing a lot of power in the federal government
Wrong administration. You’re talking about El Chimpo and his boss Cheney.
D. Aristophanes said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:27
I find it hard to back down to a challenge.
Well, I tested in the top percentile in ‘backing down to a challenge’, so it’s difficult for me to imagine the deep self-loathing you must feel.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:28
> Lipstick: actually you’re wrong about IQ scores. The tests are designed to reduce variance across age.
Actually you’re wrong since you don’t understand the statistical underpinning of IQ tests. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll never understand.
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:28
Man, this place is weird lately.
That’s a generous way to put it.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:28
since I am a liberal I will blame WordPress for my personal failings and then pop down to the corner shop for a chocolate malt and an abortion
Can you pick me up a gay marriage while you’re there? I’m stuck at work.
Saint Jesus's Real World Review said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:29
Academics is idiots. Why, just the other day a cop got mugged by blacks! You loony libs can’t dispute that them and the only CEO who ever took money from anyone being the Jew Soros is a facts.
Would you like fries with that? Dude, where’s my recession? Bookmark this, libs.
Black black black black.
mark f said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:31
I think I found the worst blog ever.
The Fooblart said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:31
I’m not lying about any of those blarts, including blart. Clearly if I were lying about blart I woudl have come up with a higher blart than blart.blart And I have met severall people with perfect blarts so I could have inflated blarts too. No, those are real, bro. But it may well seem blart to you.
N.C. said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:33
So far I’ve seen exactly one person brag about their GRE/SAT score, and he is here for the same purpose as you, viz. to repeatedly antagonize actor212, apparently.
I mostly agree re: overexaggerating the importance of standardized tests, and somewhat that there is an overemphasis on getting people into college, if only because the relatively giant pool of B.A./B.S. holders has made a 4-year degree the new high school diploma. I think there’s plenty of people who end up in college because it’s now socially expected and required for employment, and not because they’re a good fit.
Till said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:35
I’d add Civilization and its ilk to that. Back when I was a munchkin, I learned stuff and had crazy fun with Civ and Colonization.
Totally agree about Spore. Lame toy, and its educational value is probably *negative*. There is, I think, one tiny hint of actual evolution in the entire game, where you can only reach certain fruit if you’re big enough. The rest is just absurd.
Yeah. I’m a huge fan of big sandbox games (from SimCity 2000 to Wing Commander: Privateer to Daggerfall or Darklands). But I’m always a little (or a lot) disappointed with the latest incarnations. Fallout 3 is pretty close to greatness, though.
To tie it back into the discussion about Frau Schlüsselführerin, I remember being one sick little bastard circa age 10. Plenty of violent video games, interested in sex without really knowing what the hell it was, etc. But I totally credit my parents for my turning out a mostly normal person. I don’t think it particularly matters what your kid sees in terms of entertainment, it really is all about “values”. From a young age I was taught to respect other people…and isn’t that what it’s all about?
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:36
Fanboi, since NC is going to be a while with his abortion, go pick up that gay marriage I ordered.
It’s a gift. For you.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:37
Since I took the ACT, I can’t talk about SAT’s. However, I have close friends who I knew were smart but they never talked about it. He has a PhD in mathematics and she has an MS in it.
One night at a dinner party they were hosting, the topic of standardized tests came up. She had had a bit too much to drink, and blurted out that he beat her by one point on the SAT. She elaborated that when they took them, the SAT’s scored in the single digits. It turned out that she got 1599 and he got 1600.
N.C. said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:38
My, you’re impatient! A good homo nup takes time, or else it’ll deflate like a bad souffle.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:38
The death of the union and American industry has contributed to a huge extent to that – jobs which are the equivalent in terms of skill-set to and pay worse than industrial labor have a historical pretense to being clerical, leading to an inflation of numbers of ‘easy’ degrees and the extreme fall in the social station and availability of manual labor.
Working a desk is usually basically unskilled – training is needed on-the-job, physical endurance is a major factor, and what you learn in school will be mainly useful in personal rather than career application – but such is the nature of the middle-class that admitting that is politically and socially radioactive. (Such is also the nature of the middle-class that admitting someone who makes $200,000 is rich or someone who makes $20,000 is poor is also politically radioactive, but God willing if there’s one thing the depression will break us of it’s aspirational politics.)
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Inadequately Cockified for this Contest said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:40
Shorter Dragon-King: yikes, if I actually had to verifiably quantify it there’s a good chance the number of inches could be counted on the fingers of a single hand!
Umm, okay. Sure – my cock may well be less than 5 inches. I really don’t know. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s definitely smaller than that when it’s flaccid. When it’s erect, I typically have other things on my mind then taking measurements – but five inches doesn’t sound outside the realm of possibility – so you are exactly right.
So anyways, I was poking around the whole IQ thing when I discovered that not only are there many different types of IQ tests, but there’s one called “Woodcock-Johnson”.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:41
obviously I’m a dude
It’s not obvious to anyone else. Your choice of the word dude is also interesting, in an arrested development personality disorder kind of way. It belies your (implied) claim about your age.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:43
Luxury.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:44
I wrap my cock around my waist and tie a knot in it as a substitue for a belt. Oddly, the fashion has never caught on.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:45
BTW, troofie, you owe us a bunch of apologies. You already know what for. You also need to denounce repigs like your hero El Chimpo for not resigning after his failure on 911, as well as not committing hari-kari after ruining capitalism.
Olexicon said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:46
Shorter Conservative OBerver
“We plan to concentrate them in camps”
Gary Ruppert said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:47
The fact is, Truthy should really stick with one moniker. What happened to your Ron Paul fan persona from yesterday? I liked him. Blartland.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:47
if you’re straight and you saw my wife, you’d get a boner. If you saw her back in the day, your jaw would drop.
So “back in the day” is a euphemism for “pre-op,” then?
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:47
I see that as the primary role of the parent in addition to the normal provision stuff – the toys, friendships, and such they have are basically value-neutral because before puberty so are children (and even afterwards, their dim sense of morality is mainly self-centered). Your job is to provide the lens through which they see the way things are supposed to be – the way they should conduct themselves with their friends, whether what they’re seeing is morally good or bad, and whether their immediate aims are acceptable.
Part of the problem is that we have a lot more Tipper Gore and a lot less Fred Rogers these days – the emphasis is not on positive development but on outrage and the marketing of safety. Children can come through unimaginable depravity just fine; while to some extent cleansing the surrounding culture produces better adult attitudes, it’s never a substitute for attention and the presence of positive role models.
Which the Fuhrerin is blissfully unconcerned with – she’s outraged that the awful Blacks would expose themselves to such depravity and sneering that the grandmother is probably raising the child – a stupid, classist shriek in defense of the nuclear status quo, the belief that mommy-daddy-two-point-four-children-and-Rover is in the Bible.
Children are being raised by adolescents in an adolescent society, and the role of their elders is increasingly to scold their parents rather than to personally interact with them. Hideous.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:49
True story: The fool was having sex with his wife when she saccused him of being a paedophile*. He replied “that’s a very big word for a ten year old.”
* I use that spelling because pedophilia makes me think of podiatrists.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:49
> leading to an inflation of numbers of ‘easy’ degrees
Reminds me of Mooseburger and how she took 6 years and 5 colleges to get the simplest degree there is.
Maybe we can introduce “Moose” as a verb, as in “That guy moosed his studies; he took five years to get a geology degree.”
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:52
> Why is that? My high school gave everyone an IQ test freshman year,
This may indeed be a valid measure if he’s averaged all the results together.
Luxury
You think that’s something? I bet mine is far, far smaller.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:54
Most people in the habit of having sex with men are familiar with the grower-shower dynamic – in short, erect dicks in the same circumstances tend to be about the same length, as stretching even the smallest dick beyond its capacity would (a) result in an erect length of over a foot and (b) require a second heart around the pubis.
Flaccid dicks have a great range of length, but dicks have a great range of flaccid states as well, and the growing obesity problem means that a lot of people have flaccid dicks partially obscured by fat. But if how big you are flaccid counts that much, chances are you’re a black porn-star and don’t really need to worry too much about what some lying deadhead-wannabe thinks.
Also, contrary to popular belief, dick size has little to do with biology and everything to do with exercise; this is why even people with giant honking monsters in their family don’t tend to have large penises before puberty hits, and also a major contributing factor to shemale porn even being possible.
[THE MORE YOU KNOW]
Me said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:54
Sorry, but I’m going to come firmly down on the side of “Don’t bring infants to movies”. I honestly don’t care that you haven’t been out of the house in a month. Tough crap. Oh, and this just in…you’re not gonna get much sleep either.
And I say that as a godparent and as someone who actually likes babies.
Gary Ruppert said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:55
The fact is, D.N. and The Fool aren’t Troothy, but the rest of those certainly are. You can’t hide your own style, Troofus.
Bookmark this, your schtick is tired.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:56
No, it just means when I was in my 20’s rather than my 40’s. But I do find these compulsive attempts at emasculation quite revealing.
No less revealing than your compulsive posts about your imagined prong measurements, your alleged wife and your supposed standardized test scores.
You’re trying to convince someone, but I’m certain it isn’t us.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:57
OK, because you’re evidently too dense to decode a simple phrase, let me lay it out for you: the incident you describe is one of hundreds that happened in Chicago and represents a share of overall theft in the country about as significant as a big gulp of water represents of Lake Michigan.
Bernie Madoff stole the same amount of money every five minutes for twenty years, and he’s only noteworthy because what he did was illegal.
What you’re doing is like citing the Lisa Nowak case to prove that white women drive around in diapers all day. It’s beyond ridiculous, and further you have no penis.
Jacob Singer said,
February 11, 2009 at 19:58
Troofie, why are so proud to be a racist? What “argument” are you making that we libs are supposed to “refute”? Why don’t you run for elected office like you once threatened?
Ok, that’s all the troll chow I got.
Jacob Singer said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:00
Ugh. “Why are YOU so proud” etc.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:00
honking monsters
This I’d like to see. Mine has never, ever honked.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:01
Are we all testing now? I am. Tigrismus?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:02
Is Trooth arguing with Gary?
Man, this place is weird lately.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:03
Mine has never, ever honked.
Not even when you’ve been goosed? *ducks*
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Inadequately Cockified for this Contest said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:03
Wow. I feel so much more cockified now that we’re talking about my dick. Hooray!!! or not Hooray!!! whichever one is appropriate to the situation.
Woodcock-Johnson, there’s an IQ test called Woodcock-Johnson. WTF? It’s like even the IQ researchers are in on the joke. Perhaps that’s what the Fool meant when he said that his high school administered IQ tests to all the freshman. Welcome to Fool For You High, please drop your pants and bend over while we administer this Woodcock-Johnson.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:03
Wow. What’s incredible is that unlike most of the commenters, Fool doesn’t seem to actually get that penis size really doesn’t matter out of a homosocial context. Women really don’t care and many find an overly large one painful or impossible. It’s never for women that men have the penis size debate. In fact in this day and age, the penis size debate in earnest is a warning sign. It’s a major clue that you care more about whether other men think you’re manly enough rather than whether you respect your partner or care about her sexual fulfillment.
And Debbie is an idiot, the reason to not take them to the theatres is the loud noises. Kids respond more to others response at that age. They really don’t care about all the things adults assume traumatize them. In fact, the only way it upsets them is to be yelled at for it and if you sustain that, they will deliberately seek it out and treat it like gold simply for its forbidden quality (or they will accept the illogical ban and grow up warped in their relationship to sex or violence).
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:05
Here’s the facts:
my brain is larger than yours.
I regularly bowl 300.
My penis has received awards and accolades. But never honked.
I am the recipient of three Grammys, one Nobel Prize, and a porn Oscar.
I can tap dance.
Those are the facts. And on the internet, you don’t need to prove anything.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Inadequately Cockified for this Contest said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:08
I don’t normally go around bragging about those things but if some loser on a comment board starts to call it into question, I’m not above laying out the facts.
Ummm, just so we’re clear on this – actually knowing what size your dick is requires effort. A kinda weird icky sort of effort. If you aren’t planning on a fancy tattoo or have some sort of medical condition that requires you to know this number, then there’s really only one reason for you to be aware of it.
Let me reassure you, punk rock has not casting black magic witchcraft spells to make your dick shrink.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:09
But they’re all true, Obi. Is that so hard for you to conceive?
Maybe they are, and maybe they aren’t. Whether they are or not is really beside the point to me. What is far, far more to the point is the amount of time and energy you put into trying to convince us that you’re truthful, despite no evidence whatsoever to the contrary.
See, this is like Iraqi WMD. Get it?
I don’t normally go around bragging about those things
Oh, I doubt that very much.
but if some loser on a comment board
Physician, heal thyself.
starts to call it into question, I’m not above laying out the facts.
Or else you aren’t above making shit up if you feel your masculinity is threatened. Look, I’ve got high test scores, a hot Latina wife with a big rack and a big cannon betwixt my legs, but I don’t really care if you believe me or not, and I’m not going to belabor the point. The truth of the matter is that whether you possess any of the things you claim or not, you are very, very emotionally invested in whether or not others believe that you possess them.
And that makes you a pitiful troll, one who most likely doesn’t have the claimed goods. QED. Otherwise, if you had them, you wouldn’t need our acquiescent belief so desperately.
Those are the facts, bro.
So you say. I say you’re a liar. Those are the facts, bro.
Sorry if they highlight your deficiencies.
Shrug. I’m a big boy with big toys. I don’t care what you think.
But don’t blame me. Blame actor212, PeeJ et al. And don’t forget to blame yourself.
I only blame myself for pwning such a pathetic troll when better investments could have been had.
handy said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:11
That liberals focus on almost non-existent white racism when all available evidence suggests that blacks victimize whites in huge numbers.
Your right that the standard and very appropriate response to you has been ad hominem, because…well, quite frankly you are a racist. There’s no “argument” to be had.
handy said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:11
“You’re right,” also.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:13
How is suggesting that the level of petty crime – which is overrecorded relative to higher-level crime, due to the fact that one leaves an obvious victim and the other doesn’t – is dwarfed by the level of white-collar and other crime ‘hand-waving’? And as for ad hominem: sadly, no!
Shit, man. You’d think with all that time to obsess over blacks wronging you by existing and getting mad when you call them niggers you’d have something more compelling than a single anecdote. And, again, your urethra ends in a stump that looks like nothing so much as cubed ham.
MrX said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:13
dear god, all this cock/IQ talk is, well, just a bit sad
Keeping your groin area clean and dry
a word of warning, though… please god don’t ever get canistine cream and Veet mixed up, trust me on that..
MrX said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:14
FUWP
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:15
Fool-
I’m genderqueer. I’ve never once used my penis.
Ever.
In fact, I’m probably having it removed eventually
Also, thank you for proving my point.
Jacob Singer said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:15
Yeah, the “almost non-existant white racism” link that Peej posted yesterday was quite imaginary.
I live in Georgia, troofie, and if you think white racism doesn’t exist come visit here. Jesus Christ, racism is fucking celebrated in some places around here. You’d fit right in.
handy said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:16
St. Jesus,
Well said. All the same, I’m perfectly comfortable with resorting to ad hominem with assholes. We all should be.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Inadequately Cockified for the Real World said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:18
Meanwhile, you’ll have to pardon my ignorance but I missed those FBI figures of yours. All I saw from you was one news article about one criminal incident. Big fucking deal.
Anyways, I’ve seen reports that the incarceration rates for blacks is somewhere in the range of ten times higher than for whites. So my question for you is: does this mean that blacks are ten times more likely to be criminals or does it mean that there’s some sort of social discrimination that puts black men in jail while whitey walks free. I’ve got a suspicion as to which one it is, but I’d like to know what your totally non-racist answer is.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:18
Apropos of nothing, Snopes has a recent article involving someone whining about plans they had heard of (in error, because none exist) to play the Canadian national anthem in Hindi at the 2010 winter Olympics. They were written in English and they should be played in English, dit le incorrete politicale doughty.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:20
Racist Troll?
What a wonderful world.
Seriously, what is wrong with you? Why is it so personally important that you get the “liberals” to erase history for you? What did you do? Whose child did you end?
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:20
No more invested than you or the rest of the boys around here are in trying to deny it, my friend.
(giggles) I have no investment in it, fool. I just think you’re absolutely and hilariously pathetic. (guffaw) And I have made you my latest int@rwebs chew-toy. You will reply at my command, and you shall dance until I tire of you.
Now dance for our amusement. You have been commanded, Fool of Tiny Penis, Low Standardized Test Scores and Imaginary Wife.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:21
It is widely believed in Nigeria that witches have the power to steal men’s sexual organs by an incantation or a handshake.
a) Some may wonder why, but how else would anyone ever get enough for a bagful so someone could be told to EAT IT?
b) A handshake? Really? OMG WIMMINS SO SCAREY! Jesus.
c) Obviously, we now know who to ask for the authoritative answer to the honking question.
Blarticus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:23
I am Blarticus.
Saint Jesus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:23
Also worth remembering is that few women experience orgasms from penetration, largely because the homology puts the most sensitive tissue in the wrong place for it.
Women tend to make fun of guys who think their ostensibly huge pricks make them god’s gift to everyone behind their backs; your wife, assuming she doesn’t live in Canada, is probably sleeping around on you.
Good luck with the MENSA thing, though!
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:23
Yes! Again, chew-toy!
Tell us another wild tale about your genitalia, that we may all have a laugh!
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:25
(clapping)
Dance, puppet, dance!
(laughing)
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:27
Yes! Another! Another outlandish claim about your genitalia! And then another! (clapping)
You will comply, fool.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:28
Oh god Fool, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize.
Ok, this might be spam-like but I’ll give it a whirl.
Go here and here.
It’s never too late to learn how sex for women works. You and your partner will be greatly appreciative. Also, I’m not a bro.
D.N. Nation said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:29
S,N! Accounts Receivable-
Please ban The Truth and all his patently obvious sockpuppets. If you wouldn’t mind. I’ve no problem with trolls- The Fool amuses me greatly, even with his overkill- but I can live without Troofus’ racist spew on every other thread. It’s pretty obvious that Troofus has some serious, serious issues (see: his comments on Michelle Obama) and I’ve grown fearful that his time here will end in some IRL tragedy. Let him deal with his inner demons on his own time, not ours. Kick this sucker. HAAM treatment, please.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:29
(clapping)
My puppets dance at my command!
(laughing)
More, puppet, more!
(cackling)
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:30
While we’re assaulting the tolls, anyone mind helping with someone constructive: where would I look for data on mean hours of sunlight by area in the US? I want to try and lean on Reid to subsidize the building of non-photovoltaic domestic power instruments – photovoltaic is generally cheaper but dirtier and less efficient, so private investment tends towards it even though it’s a poor use of space and resources.
Bitter Scribe, who works closely with Federal law enforcement agencies, consulting on fighting the domestic War on Terrorism, said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:30
It’s hard to avoid the conclusion that she went to the movie just to scope out people with kids and insult them to their faces. That’s probably safer than approaching black women in the street and interrogating them on their marital status.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:31
But, I have dick stories too!
One time, back in ‘Nam, my dick was flying a jet fighter when
it crash landed was shot at by the entire NVA. Well, long story short – my PENIS ended up spending five years as a Prisoner of War! My cock is a true patriot and real american hero and any comments made to disparage it is inherently traitorous.Scott said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:31
Wait, Troofie’s going to run for office? That would be awesome.
Troofie, got a link to your campaign page?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:32
Whups. Imagine that I closed the strikethrough right after the word “landed”.
Matt T. said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:33
I’m amazed no one’s mentioned the constant hollers for “motherfuckin’ ice tea” Debbie had to put up with. And I swear, but the internet’s lapped itself: an honest-to-goodness dick measuring contest.
Scott said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:33
alec, have you tried something like the various Farmer’s Almanacs? Or some of the gardening sites? I think they’ll often include info about hours of sunlight…
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:35
She does have a point: it takes a pretty shitty parent to bring a toddler into a horror movie. And crying children is worse than a ringing cellphone.
I’m glad someone already said this. I agree and would have said it myself. Now I’ll go back and read the other 250 comments.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:35
Please keep making the Fool brag about how awesome he is. Bonus points if you get him to actually post pictures of his wife and/or penis.
The way I hear it, its about minimum length, girth, and proper motion on the backstroke.
Wrong doesn’t even begin to cover this.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:35
Once again, my puppet obeys!
(laughing)
More, puppet, more!
(clapping)
You will do as you are told!
(guffaw)
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:37
Seems like a good idea, although I am a little leery – the primary market I’m thinking of are rugged scrub states with poor soil, so I dunno how invested the normal farmers’ and gardeners’ resources would be into ‘em. (You try growing shit in the Sonora Desert.)
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:39
Aw, it’s so sweet that a boy thinks he can tell me how my clitoris works.
Blart State seventy-blart said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:39
Say, what’s with all the douchebaggery around here today?
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:39
Ugly, do you see how it continues to make up claims about its sexual prowess? Hilarious!
(laughing)
More, puppet, more!
(clapping)
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:41
And exciting her g-spot while stimulating her clit is somehow rare? Something that must be placed upon the penetration as sole sex act?
I’m sorry to have sympathy, because I assumed at first your confusion at me was related to how I was somehow pitiable because I wasn’t penetrating, therefore not presumably fucking.
Ah well, it is sad and clear one thing. You dictate, she responds. That’s fucked up. You don’t have to “chicks dig that” if you simply ask what they like.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:41
The truth is you folks know nothing about me except my arguments
When you get around to posting one, be sure to let us know.
A simple tug on the sleeve, crying “Daddy! Daddy! LookwhadIdid!” will be sufficient.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:42
Trust me, dude. It works.
Wow. I’d heard that there were guys who’s enitre knowledge of female anatomy comes from pr0n, but I didn’t really understand what that meant until now. Just so we’re clear on this, here’s your two points:
1. You have a technique that apparently can make any woman orgasam.
2. Reaching the G-spot is dependent on cock length.
Man, that is so fucking full of ignorance that you’ve actually managed to surprise me with how stupid you are.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:42
In my experience, men who have big dicks and high I.Q.s don’t seem to go around bragging about them. And yes, I would consider myself very experienced.
Just sayin’.
Matt T. said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:43
I think toddlers should be kept in the house until they’re 30, personally. And why is a crying toddler in a movie worse than a crying toddler in a restaurant or at the grocery store or any other place I have to bear the brunt of your (for large numbers of “you”) shitty parenting because the goddamn kid can’t SHUT THE FUCK UP? We should be allowed to shoot small children with tranq darts. And then shoot the parents. And then their pets.
Or maybe folks who can’t handle human beings being human beings – that includes young’uns being young’uns – should stay their own damn selves at the house. No one will bother you then. I still like the tranq dart idea, though.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:43
Alec, re: mean sunlight
http://aa.usno.navy.mil/data/docs/RS_OneYear.php
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:45
Actually, no, I reinstate pity. So confident about prowess, yet so shackled by expectations of manliness, he can’t entertain lowering himself to ask the woman how she works. To treat her as human would be to humanize her. So shackled that he can’t even figure why people are mocking cause it doesn’t fit the framework of the world he was told about by male culture and to ask around would be to demean himself.
Fool, I hope you go buy or steal the two movies in question. They’re not just the techniques, they’re how to approach, how to ask, how to treat a partner with respect. Believe me when I say your wife will appreciate
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:46
Um, have you ever considered the possibility that your clitoris — how can I put this gently? — uh, doesn’t work the same as other chicks’? Maybe it doesn’t really work right at all!
Or maybe the women you sleep with are lying to you.
Cause, I’m sure I don’t know everything but I definitely know a thing or two and there are plenty of chicks who fully respond to the techniques I have describe
They fake it to get you to hurry up and fucking finish already.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:46
Troofie,
Are you suggesting that somehow there’s a media bias against covering crimes of blacks against whites as opposed to white hate crimes?
Gee…I didn’t realize OJ Simpson was suddenly white and his wife and Ron Goldman turned black!
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:47
Holy shit, did I get the Truth to shut up?
I’m so not worthy.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:47
You just made that up!
Look! My puppet has learned the concept of Irony.
Soon it shall learn to wash its hands. And wipe its rear end.
More, puppet, more!
Galactic Dustbin said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:47
Say, what’s with all the douchebaggery around here today?
Like I said; the Sex Offender Halfway House got a new computer.
SomeNYGuy said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:48
The “P-word” is PORKULUS!!!!!!!
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:48
Pull up on the backstroke
Every good boy pull up
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:48
…your tip will be ticklin’ the G-spot at the same time your shaft is pleasuring the little man.
Dude, I’m sorry to hear about your deformity. Having that weird backwards bend in your cock is probably what’s making you so insecure about it.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:48
Can you scrape away the fingernail thick varnish of bloviating buffoonery to reveal the sad, scared misogynist teenager within, OB-GYN? Can you?
Scott said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:50
alec, my grandmother used to get all us kids a Farmer’s Almanac every Christmas (for whatever reason — I think they were cheap, mainly), and they’d list gardening/planting/growing info for every region of the country, including the Southwest.
Not real sure what the right resource would be here — I tried digging around one of the almanac sites, and couldn’t find anything specific to sunlight hours. Lots of the info is geared to specific plants — here’s the best time to plant beets, potatoes, tomatoes, etc. in particular areas of the country.
Maybe some sites that focus on planetary geography? I dunno, I’m not being very helpful. :(
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:50
Some chicks, like, possibly, Ugly In Pink can’t achieve orgasm under ANY circumstances.
Aaaaand here comes the misogyny, right on schedule!
I’m practically reaching orgasm just laughing at you right now, “bro.”
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:50
In fact, I’m probably having it removed eventually
Marriage will do that to a man.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:51
Can you scrape away the fingernail thick varnish of bloviating buffoonery to reveal the sad, scared misogynist teenager within, OB-GYN? Can you?
Deride and conquer, UiP. That’s the name of the game.
Teaflax said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:51
Much as I find Schlussel’s piece racist, I still don’t get why anyone takes or even allows little kids into a movie like that. I had my first viewing of The Matrix ruined by a family with two kids under five in front of me. My wife took the “maybe they can’t get a sitter” angle, but honestly…there’s a ton of movies you can bring your kids to that don’t involve violence and have a plot that they can’t follow.
And as for the sex dicussion, all women are fucking different (or different when fucking). My wife has a super-sensitive clitoris and fairly acute g-spot. My ex had no discernible g-spot whatsoever any my current piece on the side has a huge g-spot and hardly responds to clitoral stimuli at all. Each one requires completely different techniques and enjoys completely different aspects of the sex act (although they all like it a bit rough, but that’s really unrelated). It’s not that hard to figure out what works for each girl if you communicate, have just a smidge of empathy and pay attention.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:52
While I generally support the abuse of children, in particular cases the kids have conditions that mean freakouts no matter what.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:52
Or maybe the women you sleep with are lying to you.
His 149 IQ would never accept that. Neither would his 7.5″ penis.
chimpevil said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:52
You know she wanted to write BLACK!!!! Also I’m sorry the ‘baby dad’–an how could she assume that–I mean for real that is truly fucking offensive– would never have spelled it “one-year-old” cause even in tha ghetto an shit he would know that’s just goddam WRONG!
And also, aside from the SAT shit, I almost died laughing on these comments, but fuck you didn’t kill me all the way so keep tryin!!!
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:53
It’s not that hard to figure out what works for each girl if you communicate, have just a smidge of empathy and pay attention.
Or you can just tell them that they’re wrong and defective if they don’t get off the way you want them to, when you want them to. Chicks totally dig that, man.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:53
” little man in the boat”
did this fourteen year old just write that? what,has he been watching 70′s drive in movies?
The internet is a funny place, it truly is…
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:53
Teaflax,
For “The Matrix,” you might be looking at a social pressure phenomenon, where the cool kid is the one who gets to brag that his parents took him to see it.
Not that the parent couldn’t or shouldn’t say no, still, but there’s added pressure that has nothing to do with the “maybe they can’t afford it” argument.
Scott said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:54
Also:
(You try growing shit in the Sonora Desert.)
Dude, xeriscaping is big. My dad gets gardening magazines and catalogs galore, and they always have info about xeriscaping. My sister lives near Albuquerque and Santa Fe, and folks up there are nuts for xeriscaping. Find something focusing on Southwestern xeriscaping, and they might have some other resources for you.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:55
UiP, I love how it tries to tell you how women’s bodies work.
(laughing)
You could dress it up in a little Admiral’s uniform, too, and it would act like it knew everything about sailing.
(giggle)
More, puppet, more!
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:55
Fool-
I’m really confused. You of course don’t think penetrative sex is the only sex, yet each time, you seem confused, baffled, out of sorts at the very idea that women can reach orgasm without a penis. Do you believe lesbians all use strap-ons or something?
Also one technique…seriously? See this is why I say you don’t seem to “get” that there’s more than one-type of sex or means to orgasm. I want to say to you, earnestly and with great sympathy, don’t be afraid of new knowledge. It won’t make you less of a man. It will make you more of one by your very standards (ability to satisfy women). If only through wikipedia, expand your knowledge. It won’t bite.
Blart State seventy-blart said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:55
Ya know, in the adult world I think it’s fairly common knowledge that the extent to which one discusses one’s sexual prowess is inversely proportionate to one’s actual sexual prowess.
Shorter: Fool, you cad.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:55
As the later films should have suggested, those kids were doing you a favor.
Matt T. said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:55
While I generally support the abuse of children, in particular cases the kids have conditions that mean freakouts no matter what.
What, there are no more cellars or attics where on could lock up these freaks of nature? We’re talking about my peace of mind, here, and I certainly don’t have the patience or will to ignore someone else’s screaming child. I’m an American, goddammit, and in case you’ve forgotten, I’ve got a right not to be annoyed by other human beings. It’s in the Constitution, I’m sure of it. And while we’re at it, can we stop the wind from blowing or the rain from falling?
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:57
Aww, buck up, lil soldier! Someday someone won’t be able to see through your tissue-thin self conscious bragging. And they’ll totally think you’re cool.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:58
Well, I would imagine that the person who’d most care if a woman you sleep with comes, would be the women you sleep with. No one should be married to someone who would rather laugh to strangers rather than regard their sexual pleasure with seriousness all so they won’t seem emasculated.
So I guess the pity is wrong. I don’t pity you. I pity your wife.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:58
Do you believe lesbians all use strap-ons or something?
I’m afraid I need a visual aid here…
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:58
Now we’ve got Little Richard.
Slipping and a-sliding
Peeping and a-hiding
Been told a long time ago
Slipping and a-sliding
Peeping and a-hiding
Been told a long time ago
I’ve been told, baby
You’ve been bold
I won’t be your fool no more
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:59
But there is partially a length factor involved because the more length you have the longer you can be slipping and sliding on each phase of the stroke.
Dude. Stop. No seriously – just stop. All those movies your downloading to teach you about female “sexuality”? They’re pr0nstarZ, they don’t fuck like normal people fuck. Sometimes the pr0n chicks really do orgasm – depends on the pr0n, but they are still pr0nstarZ – they can fucking orgasm on whim – it’s got nothing to do with “slipping and sliding on each phase of the stroke”.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:59
Cerberus – If he’s married, or even over 20, I will be very surprised indeed.
Matt T. said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:59
Also, the “baby daddy” thing. I think the recent election proved that your average white Republican complaint machine – like Debbie – has no day-to-day interaction with black people whatsoever. Didn’t some yay-hoo call Our First Lady Michelle Obama the “baby mama” of Our New President? So, really, is it any shock whatsoever that an out-and-out racist like Debbie would assume that any black child was born out of wedlock?
Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, wingnuts gotta scream “NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER AHHHHH!”
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:00
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love me some xeriscaping, but as I understand it it’s pretty sunlight-neutral (the big deal is how much rain you get and when).
If I had one thing to fix about Las Vegas, it’d be to replace our flat incentive to remove grass with a graded incentive based on how climate-efficient your non-grass yard is. The move towards replacing sod-and-grass yards with fucking dimension stone is about the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever seen, and it has to be our equivalent of the Arizonans sinking their cities into the damn earth by treating their aquifer as if it were the Ogallala – our flash floods are only getting uglier with climate change, after all.
I’m really just trolling for general resources: I want the informal whitepaper I produce to be as robust as possible without having to spend six months doing it. The sooner we’ve got federal and state programs together to subsidize smart alternative power, the better.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:01
Every now and then Robert Crumb would draw a panel of a guy boo-hooing and yelling “I GOT A RIGHT!” Then he started in with all the autobiographical stuff and got lots less interesting…
Galactic Dustbin said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:02
I still am waiting for the picture of the hot Latino wife with a huge rack
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:03
you don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re simply posing as someone who does.
This is just too perfect. I’m in tears here.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:03
I, personally, like our negro-monitor troll obsessively calling him and Michelle (probably the most intelligent and achieved couple in politics since the Clintons, although having a doctor of education as Second Lady is also nice) ‘affirmative action’ candidate/princess.
They believe so much shit that’s so obviously, self-evidently wrong about black people. All it would take would be actually learning what affirmative action does and why anyone but dittoheads cares about it, but he prefers to live in his little gnostic world where everyone but him is taking crazy pills and there’s some kind of Elders of Afrika meeting he’s missing out on.
Dreamweasel said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:03
I can’t stand it when I spend $10 to enjoy myself at a movie theatre and some inconsiderate parent brings her two-year-old with her, and the toddler won’t stop whining about how high his SAT scores were and how large his penis is and how hot his wife is and how punk music sux ass.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:03
Fool-
Accusing Ugly in Pink of not reaching orgasm because she said your technique wouldn’t work on her.
Ugly in Pink-
Sigh, you’re probably right. That just makes it sadder though. What 20 year old hasn’t heard of genderqueer? It’d frankly be more excusable if he was being honest.
Galactic Dustbin said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:04
and the original vault copy of the IQ test
Blart State seventy-blart said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:05
I wonder why, if the Fool is so darn bright and such a stud in the sack, he’s farting around on the internet all day? I mean with talents like that, the world must be beating a path to his door, no?
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:05
In fact, I’m probably having it removed eventually
Okay, I will then concede the smallest penis award to you. In the meantime, I’M THE CHAMP WOOHOO!!!
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:06
RE: solar hours Google “insolation”
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:06
It may have been intended to piss off feminists, but its only effect was making all of us here assume that you’ve never seen a woman naked outside of porn.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:06
I believe this is central to my blart.
Smut Clyde said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:06
and a prolongued, very explicit sex scene.
It involved a
curious sofachaise longue.alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:07
‘insolation’ – didn’t know that word. Thanks!
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:07
Now that “just kidding I don’t care if women get off PSYCH omg hahahah!” part, that was what made me think he’s under 20. I’d say under 15, but I’ve known some pretty retarded people in my day.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:07
Fool-
Also, the g-spot is on the top, fwi. Under your technique she’d be coming with her anus. Which is possible (nerve-endings).
Steal the movies, Fool. You desperately desperately need to learn what female anatomy is.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:09
I PROMISE you
Wheeeee!
Look, I kinda hoped that in this day and age with the magical series of intertubes – you’d be able to find pr0n with actual female orgasms – but I guess you’ve already demonstrated that you aren’t interested in that anyways.
Look, just exactly where do you think the G-spot is? “Pulling up on the backstroke”? If that’s working for you, it’s because your cock has a fucking hinge on it.
How about you just stop for a second, turn the Adult Content filter on, and then try and find some info on the G-spot. Then you can come back here and we can all laugh together.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:09
Actor-
Well in personal experience [CENSORED]
And it was a pain in the ass disentangling myself believe you me.
Smut Clyde said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:10
Only a very bad person would consider morphing the illustration of Ms Schlussel with a photograph of Jonah Goldberg with his mouth wide open in the same expression of manic enthusiasm.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:10
I still am waiting for the picture of the hot Latino wife with a huge rack
That’s Latina, Yanqui.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:11
The amazing thing about thread is that it seems nobody has learned the lesson of the adage “On the Internet nobody knows you’re a dog.”
BTW, my IQ is 165, my penis is 8 inches, I have had sex with famous women, and there is a definitive “best” when it comes to music.
Really, I mean it. I’m telling the truth. I swear up and down on the stack of bibles that I have sitting next to me right now. And if you don’t believe me, I will just repeat it until you do or I think you do.
And troofy, you owe us a bunch of apologies. Start with some of those and we’ll feed you a nice pie made of chopped-up fatcat businessmen.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:12
PeeJ-
Brilliant. I just got back up off the floor. Thank you.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:12
I still am waiting for the picture of the hot Latino wife with a huge rack
That’s Latina, Yanqui.
You presume we aren’t talking about a he-she, OB
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:13
Under your technique she’d be coming with her anus. Which is possible
Again, I mean this in a totally heterosexual manner, I want to corroborate that coming with your anus is indeed possible – but sometimes it hurts to sit the next day.
handy said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:14
Yes. Gavin/Clif./D./Brad need to get on this right away.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:14
Under your technique she’d be coming with her anus. Which is possible (nerve-endings).
For many women, or so I’ve been informed via discussion, the orgasm is even more intense this way.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:14
alec, you’re welcome, and I wish you much success with Reid et al.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:15
You presume we aren’t talking about a he-she, OB
If there was another HLWWABR mentioned on this thread (other than my own) I must have missed that one.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:16
Actually I think most people are assuming the adage, I’m the only holdout and that’s only because it would be more embarrassing than if he were telling the truth and was only a washed-up idiot who doesn’t believe women are fully human and that he has a curved penis. Which you’re right, it probably is.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:16
But it works on the vast majority of the women I’ve been with
That would be nearly one, right?
Smut Clyde said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:16
They didn’t view parenting as a passive, go-through-the-motions avocation.
Teh Great Gazoogle informs me that “An avocation is an activity that a person does as a hobby outside their principal occupation”.
Possibly Ms Schlussel meant ‘vocation’, but thought it sounded better with an extra syllable.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:17
> I PROMISE you, that the pulling up on the backstroke and hitting the G area thing works on the VAST majority of women, dude
By “vast majority”, as opposed to just “majority”, I’m going to assume the Fool means >70%. Thus, he is claiming to have had sex with .7 * 7 billion * 1/2 = 2,450,000,000 women.
I didn’t know he could fit that much porn on his computer!
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:17
OB, no, we’re talking about that only one mentioned upthread. We’re just assuming she’s a she.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:17
did this fourteen year old just write that? what,has he been watching 70’s drive in movies?
He must have picked that up at Jesus’ General’s place. That’s how the “men” over there refer to the clitoris.
Fool, I also am sitting here crying with laughter at you. Lots of misogyny flyin’ around this thread (and you all know who you are), but you take the cake. Please, tell us women more about how our means of achieving orgasm are defective, or, in the likely event a woman doesn’t have an orgasm during a sexual encounter that employs your guaranteed but physically ludicrous “technique” that it must be the woman’s fault, what with your giant dick and big brain and all. Wait, let me go get a bowl of popcorn first.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:17
But are you denying the widespread efficacy of penetrative techniques?
Yes. Yes I am. I thought that was common knowledge, even among youngsters these days.
And getting in a hissy fit and calling me a lesbian because you’re laughably ignorant is not exactly helping your case here, chum.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:18
But it works on the vast majority of the women I’ve been with….
…as far as you know.
Has this dweeb never even seen When Harry Met Sally?
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:19
Actor-
Could you not? I mean no disrespect or anything, and I really like your comments, but could you find a different trans term there?
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:20
Cerbie,
Apologies. I was looking for the rhyme scheme with “OB”.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:20
OB, no, we’re talking about that only one mentioned upthread. We’re just assuming she’s a she.
Yeah, that would be mine. Quite female, and a fetching shade of beige, too.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:21
Oh!
See, take a lunch meeting, and you miss that the Fool didn’t describe his wife as a beuatiful Latina…
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:22
But are you denying the widespread efficacy of penetrative techniques?
Fucking hell, just stop. The sex you are seeing on the Internetz is not normal sex. The “widespread efficacy of penetrative techniques” is from the fucking 1800′s – it’s only believed by people still living in the ninteenth century and male virgins with broadband.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:22
If we’re really smart, we’ll ask for the Fool’s wife’s measurements, and not only will he know on the spot, but they’ll be wildly unrealistic.
Galactic Dustbin said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:22
I still am waiting for the picture of the hot Latino wife with a huge rack
That’s Latina, Yanqui.
thank you OB, I live up here on the northern boarder defending the US from socialized medicine and hockey, so I dont get a chance to learn the ways of other fur-iner types.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:23
If he claims she’s 5’9 and under 125 lbs, take a drink.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:23
wait, we’re supposed to know our wife’s measurements off the top of our heads?
dammit.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:23
But it works on the vast majority of the women I’ve been with
Umm, when she has an inflator nipple, she’s not a real woman.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:23
Also, this is the strangest thread I’ve read in a long time. Racism, misogyny, Farmer’s Almanac, dipshit wingnut made-up moviegoing experience, DICK competition? SAT and GRE comparisons, for crissake?!!?!! What are you guys, like 17 years old??!! Talking about castration as a danger of marriage, a wife who “used to be hot” or whatever spoken of as the inanimate object, no longer shiny but still enough to make the other kids jealous, that he no doubt considers her to be? And when called on it, you guys are all “Hey, I didn’t start it! HE started it! I was just blah blah blah!!” My kids when they were TODDLERS had more mature arguments and made up better excuses!! Holy fucking hell, what is happening to this place? Now I’m going to get my popcorn, and some MalloMars besides. This room had better be all picked up when I get back.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:24
The Fool speaks of himself in the third person. That always gets the ladies wet.
SomeNYGuy said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:24
Having an unlimited supply of Purina Fool Chow is not necessarily a good thing. Won’t somebody put the lid back on the trough?
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:24
MzNicky-
Seriously.
But remember no one is accusing him of believing that only the penetrative act is real sex. It is only the bestest ever according to Freud’s coke habit and furthermore he said that oral to completion is for fags. Also on behalf of my future vagina I get ouch twinges thinking about how he thinks his technique works. I bet he also thinks women like to get pounded to the hilt too. Oh look, another pain twinge in my future vagina.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:24
Repeat until you have the little skeezer moaning like she has 5 tooth aches all at once.
…because nothing says “orgasm” like a root canal.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:24
However, I am NEVER referring to any women I make love to as a ‘skeezer’.
Nope.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:24
so I dont get a chance to learn the ways of other fur-iner types.
You don’t know what you’re missing. :)
Then again, you have actual seasons up there. Down here in the Deep South, we only have Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:25
Actor-
Oh no problem. I missed that. Sorry.
Galactic Dustbin said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:25
If there was another HLWWABR mentioned on this thread (other than my own) I must have missed that one.
yeah the fool said he had one
D.N. Nation said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:26
Best troll ever.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:26
Also, this is the strangest thread I’ve read in a long time.
Actually it reminds me of Fark, when I used to get my jollies teasing wankers like the Fool on a regular basis.
wait, we’re supposed to know our wife’s measurements off the top of our heads?
Only if she’s imaginary.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:26
have the little skeezer moaning like she has 5 tooth aches all at once
And there’s the Misogynist of the Thread award-winner.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:27
Whew, UiP. That’s a relief, what with val-day coming up and all.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:28
yeah the fool said he had one
Huh. Imagine that.
Fool, did she arrive all sticky from the postage stamps?
LOL said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:28
Dugg it: http://digg.com/movies/Debbonics_The_Debbonicles_Of_Schvartznia
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:30
Latina women generally do NOT age well.
Shrug. It won’t be a problem.
Some do, some don’t. It works the same way with all races and genders.
Of course, its easier to be a racist. That apparently works for you.
BTW, dance some more, puppet. I command it.
Andrew said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:30
Latina’s can be quite hot
“Latina’s”?
Heh heh. So much for that SAT score thing.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:30
Oh look, another pain twinge in my future vagina.
Welcome to the gender, Cerberus! There are good points and bad, but on the upside, the chances your last words will be “hey dude check this out!” have gone way down.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:31
you pull UP on the backstroke
Dude, the reason she’s moaning like she has five toothaches is because you apparently have managed to shatter her pubis bone. That’s not orgasm – that’s agony. Although, tip of my hat for having such a rigid boner that you can actually maim people with it.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:31
OBi: you’re wife’s Latina? That’s too bad, bro. Latina’s can be quite hot — I used to live with a very hot Puerto Rican chick — but Dude. I hate to break it to you. Check out your mother-in-law. Latina women generally do NOT age well. Enjoy it while you still can, dude.
That one’s also in the running, Kenobi. Now with added Racism for Zest!!
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:31
Fool is a good example of “self-esteem” doing more harm than good.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:31
Latina women generally do NOT age well.
Racquel Welch.
Nuff said.
Galactic Dustbin said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:32
have the little skeezer moaning like she has 5 tooth aches all at once
aannnndd there it is. OK I am going to play the Nazi card so we can wrap up this thread.
nazi. Nazi. Nazi. Nazi. You sir are worse then Hitler. Blart. Nazi. Blart.
Ok. Bored now.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:33
Fool-
I’m going to break this gently. The menfolk you’re so desperate to please are making fun of you. Not because they’re jealous, but because you have absolutely no respect for the women in your lives or future life (if you turn out straight). They are not impressed, they’re not drooling over your hotrod and seething with jealousy.
I’m going to say this once because it will serve you well in the decades to come. Women who hear you treating them like objects to dispose, their pleasure dismissable, their humanity discounted all so other guys will like you better. They remember that shit, they wonder why they bothered giving the insecure guy a chance in the first place. With luck, they’ll leave before they fully resent your existence in their lives.
You are not doing yourself any favors. Learn from this lesson. It’s 2009, shit be changing.
Gradishar said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:34
Wow. The way she talks, you’d think she was from Boston.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:34
Heh heh. So much for that SAT score thing.
He said “you’re wife’s Latina,” too.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:35
Dustbin, the thread’s not over until someone starts bashing Creed.
Oh. Wait. I just did, didn’t I?
OK, carry on.
Djur said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:36
Are people completely unaware that the Fool has been a parody troll since fuck knows when? “Stoopid punk bitchiz”? I mean, please.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:36
He’s a darned good parody troll then. Entertained the fuck out of me. More plz.
Andrew said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:37
Do punctuation skill’s age well? Apparently not.
Get it now?.
A question mark, then a period? Wow. SAT’s must be really eas’y.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:37
Um, as this thread went on, Fool started to go from pathetic to pathetic, creepy, and degrading. Can we go back to the “blart” thread? That was slightly more aggravating, but at least the mood was light.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:37
Djur,
I thought so too, but after today’s performance, I have to applaud his commitment to Internet performance art if he is.
Ralph Nader said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:38
Shalom, gentlemen. Blart blart blart.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:38
Sounds like you could have a hell of a time in Elkhart with that.
It strikes me that you have a lot more to worry about than how the person you’re imagining laying pole to will look in twenty years.
In Vegas, in seriousness, we have a brief winter and a week each of spring/autumn-like weather (the trees barely change colors before dropping all their leaves all in the first week of December) — and it’s unseasonably cold right now because it hasn’t topped 100 yet this year. But I like to put it ‘two seasons: summer and January’.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:39
This room had better be all picked up when I get back.
But, but, but MzNicky, these juvenile antics birthed PeeJ’s magnificent piece of wordsmithery – “Massively Cockified”
Massively cockified. That’s ten pounds of AWESOME in a five pound nutsack. Massively cockified is the “testicular fortitude” of the twenty-first century. Massively cockified. Just say it a few times – that phrase is Art it is.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:41
The fiancee’s horrible, abusive mother had this whiny-sounding upper-class Boston accent, which between that and the toothlessness has lead us to impersonate her by acting like a surly snapping turtle.
Andrew said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:41
Could easily be a cultural thing, dude
Say dude one more time and you are getting a giant misplaced apostrophe up your fat 80-IQ ass.
Neon Ovenlight said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:41
Is there a fire alarm lying around I can pull?
how about a blart alarm?
Dr Ruth Blartheimer said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:41
Such a szad, szad little boy.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:42
I’m sure you’re not nearly the castrating little cunt that you come off like here in these comments either
She may not be, but I am. Some uppity little minx should come after you with pinking shears for the good of humanity, “bro.”
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:43
Could easily be a cultural thing, dude,
Translation: “I am about to make a racist statement”
but I lived with a Puerto Rican woman for 4 years
Translation: Didn’t actually live together; she was his probation officer and he slept outside her office’s front door.
and whenever there was a get together
Translation: “All Hispanic people are completely alike in every way. Puerto Rican = Mexican = Colombian = Cuban.”
the younger women were fine and the older women…eh, not so much.
Translation: fool = pederast
Good luck to you, bro. You’ll need it.
Translation: “I don’t know how to say ‘chinga tu madre,’ but that’s what I mean.”
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:43
“the little skeezer“? This is how you refer to your wife? And by the way, if you’re married, why are you having such success with your patented g-spot technique with multitudes of other women, anyway? And why do you sometimes refer to yourself in the third person?
Jacob Singer said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:43
You can’t just say “that’s a joke” to get away with complete and utter bullshit, you fucking asshole.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:44
When we were young prats, we devised a system based solely on the horrible photoshopped pictures they had on you-know-where positing a man capable of screwing the Receiver. Because #1 was vaguely realistic and #2 was openly ridiculous, we posited a relationship between ‘giver coefficient’ and dimensions: girth rose geometrically, length arithmetically. By 10 it would have begun looking like a massive wax record and by 50 it would have collapsed into a black hole.
LOL said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:44
Next time on Sadly!
Debbie:
Plenty of readers sent me the story of a straight Central Michigan University women’s basketball player suing the school and it’s butch-looking coach, alleging lesbian discrimination against her.
My first reaction is: There’s actually a straight college women’s basketball player?
My second reaction is: This is news to you?
Cuz’ it’s not news to me. This isn’t the first instance or lawsuit concerning reported lesbian discrimination against the few straight chicks in women’s hoops.
As I noted almost a decade ago and repeatedly on this site, when Nancy Lieberman–then Nancy Lieberman-Cline (she was married to a . . . guy, then)–coached the Detroit Shock WNBA basketball team, players told Sports Illustrated that Lieberman was carrying on a lesbian affair with her player, Anna DeForge, and that Lieberman favored DeForge over other players with regard to playing time, etc. The players alleged that she specifically favored lesbian players over straight ones.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:44
Hey, be fair OB-GYN. He only likes women his own mental age. 17 year olds talk all sorts of complicated shit, man. Better to get that tail while it’s still fresh and can be momentarily snookered into thinking he’s smart.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:45
He said “you’re wife’s Latina,” too.
OMG, it’s true, legalized gay marriage in Massachusetts has unleashed immoral licentiousness on never-before-imagined levels! And now with more global warming, it’s hotter than EVER!
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:45
Are people completely unaware that the Fool has been a parody troll since fuck knows when?
No way! Why doesn’t anybody ever tell me these things!
jim said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:46
Nothing says “precociously intelligent” like getting into confrontations with total strangers at the local MegaPlex over their parenting-skills – unless it’s blogging about it & sincerely thinking any of us give a shit.
Schlussel is in MENSA like I’m a Regional Coordinator for Dykes With Bikes. At best, she got her score bumped up to par by a friend who’s a member … yeah, you can do that. Problem is, even though you’re in MENSA you’re still stupid. No brain worthy of the name is going to burn precious time ranting about people bringing their squabs to the movies unless there’s some serious atrophy going on up there. Surely she’ll soon be regaling one & all with those pro-Jihadi vermin who don’t signal when they turn in traffic, & how they hate America.
In my experience, men who have big dicks and high I.Q.s don’t seem to go around bragging about them.
Score: MzNicky one, Self-Proclaimed Well-Hung Brainiacs nothing.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:47
we’re supposed to know our wife’s measurements off the top of our heads?
Well, you should at LEAST know the measurement of the top of your own head.
Andrew said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:47
dude
That does it:
‘
Just to be fair, I made it the same size as your dick.
Andrew said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:50
OBI: my, my, my — you’re getting a mite touchy there bro. Did I hit a nerve?
My, my, my — desperately claiming someone else has been hurt in the hope it will make them look weak? Are you getting desperate?
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:52
Well, he is starting to get boring so let’s change the subject. Valentine’s Day. The restaurants are crowded and overpriced, and cooking with your honey and several bottles of wine is more fun anyway. Here’s how to make a really kickass potato gratin.
2 Yukon Gold potatoes per person. Slice with mandolin to 1/4in thick
butter baking dish heavily
layer potatoes, overlapping about 1/3 of the way
heat about 1/2 cup of milk and about 1/4 cup of cream (for 2 people) on the stove until steaming. add a dash of nutmeg, and salt and pepper
pour over potatoes. It should come about halfway up the sides of your baking dish, but should not cover the potatoes. slice thin slices of butter and scatter over potatoes. Bake in oven set at 375 for 35 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender.
remove gratin, grate some Gruyere cheese over the top
Crank the broiler on and put the gratin under there until the cheese is browned and bubbly.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:52
we’re supposed to know our wife’s measurements off the top of our heads?
Yes; they are: “perfect”. Take some vitamin E and thank me later.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:53
nice one tig.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:53
Fool you make me orgasm in my future vagina. Oh yeah, baby, SLANT up to hit my clit and g-spot at the same time, you stallion. This so wouldn’t work if you didn’t have the massive girth and length women crave. Also, hearing how any woman goes against you is immediately either a cunt or lesbian makes me so hot. My nipples explode with delight. Uggh. Damn baby, 10 seconds, that’s a record. Nobody’s lasted quite that long with me before.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:54
But dude, don’t worry so much , man. I’m sure YOUR wife is the exception to the rule. LOL.
Perhaps her resale or trade-in value will be lower at the dealer, then.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:55
OBI: my, my, my — you’re getting a mite touchy there bro. Did I hit a nerve?
Not in the least. You’re batting .000 in the Believability and Accuracy of Your Statements neighborhood, so why should I worry?
My circumstances are what they are. I’m comfortable with them, and that’s enough.
You’re the one trolling for Internet acceptance, fool.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:56
You said that not me.
Latina’s can be quite hot — I used to live with a very hot Puerto Rican chick — but Dude. I hate to break it to you. Check out your mother-in-law. Latina women generally do NOT age well. Enjoy it while you still can, dude.
Shrug. Deal with it.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 21:57
FYWP.
Ok, let’s try again. Oh baby, SLANTING up to hit both my g-spot and clitoris is making me quiver. And calling any woman who calls you out a cunt or lesbian, so hot. Women melt when they’re reduced into individual inhuman pieces. I can hardly contain myself. My nipples are exploding with delight. Ooh, 10 seconds, practically a record, of course I got off, who wouldn’t.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:01
Ugly in Pink-
Good idea. I’m currently long-distance from my main beau, so I’m trying to think up more ways to use skype and email to do something. I’ve already got some email pamper “instructions”, a synchronized playlist for music, and some gifts I sent ahead of time, but I’m struggling with some more ideas.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:02
I suppose with the economy being where it is we were sure to end up talking overmuch about stimulus notions and everyone’s package.
Andrew said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:02
And you know what I observed with high frequency? Fat, ugly, older Latinas. Sorry.
Dude, you’re fat and ugly, you’re 49 and your IQ is 67 on a good day. You claim a sky-high SAT score and you bungle your punctuation. You pretend to be a cool dude… but you scribble Schlusselian racist dreck, and then you finish a sentence with “LOL”.
It’s called self-humiliation.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:03
Ok, I’m losing the pity and even the funny a little.
Blart.
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:03
You’re the one trolling for Internet acceptance, fool.
The current variant(s) of The Fool is/are trolling, yes, and I would say successfully, but not the objective is not acceptance.
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:04
but
notthe objectiveRighteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:05
Let’s talk computers! Wang Wang Wang.
cooking with musical instruments said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:05
I tried, but the strings just aren’t sharp enough.
D. Aristophanes said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:05
wait, we’re supposed to know our wife’s measurements off the top of our heads?
The Fool’s wife’s measurements were 28.8 kbit/s when he met her but have since expanded to 160/120 mbit/s.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:07
My package has a pretty bow.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:07
But what I really want to know is how much The Fool can bench-press. And if he still has that super-duper job with the big-deal attorney with the hot-shot government connection. And if he still wants to charge right through the Intertubes and beat everybody up. Do ya Fool? Huh huh? Well?
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:07
The Fool’s wife’s measurements were 28.8 kbit/s when he met her but have since expanded to 160/120 mbit/s.
Indeed, this is central to his point about older Latinas being fat.
Smut Clyde said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:08
wait, we’re supposed to know our wife’s measurements off the top of our heads?
Bald spot + braille scarification = life-saver on many occasions. “Of course I remember our anniversary, Love Of My Life. It is…” [runs fingers across scalp].
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:11
And does anyone who’s over age 30 remember their fucking SAT or GRE scores?!! And if so, why? That’d be like remembering all the times you made straight A’s in elementary school or something. Pa Thet Ick.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:12
Yeah, it’s time for Fool to go get his fix of intarwebs pr0n.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:12
Cerb – heck I can post the rest of the recipes if you’re interested. I make a fine steak dinner for a castrating feminist.
Red wine reduction sauce for steak: Start early in the day.
Saute 2-3 chopped up shallots in a large saucepan or stockpot until translucent and smelling yummy. Empty one bottle cheap red wine (2 buck chuck works great) and a quart of beef broth into saucepan. Add bay leaf, sprig of thyme, and sprig of fresh rosemary, plus generous pinch of salt. Bring to boil, then turn down to medium/low and simmer for as long as it takes to reduce it down to about two cups of thick, dark liquid. Your house should now smell fantastic. Knead (yes, with your hands) a half stick of butter with about 1/3 cup Wondra or sifted white flour until it’s a creamy undistinguished mass. Pluck out your bay leaf, thyme and rosemary (because straining sauce blows) and whisk in the mass a piece at a time. Keep the heat on until the sauce thickens up. If it’s not thickening, whisk in Wondra or cornstarch (keep it on the heat!) until it does, a very SMALL amount at a time, as it can thicken fast. Taste. Yum.
Basic creamed spinach:
Just before dinner: put fresh spinach (I use a bag per person, it shrinks down a LOT) in a saucepan with a touch of butter. Cover and cook over medium heat until spinach wilts down, it should only take a few minutes. Stir often. As soon as spinach is wilted, remove the cover and cook another couple of minutes to evaporate off the water. Then stir in a small splash of cream, some salt, and a cube (about the size of four dice, an ounce) of cream cheese. Stir until combined, salt to taste. You probably won’t need to thicken it any more.
Translation: Damn! That asshole, The Fool really DID make my panties moist with all that talk of rubbing clits. Wish I could get me some clit rubbin’ action right now. But I’m an ugly old lesbian and even the other lesbians aren’t attracted to me any more. Damn, how could I let that little misogynist prick get to me? How could I let him make me wet?
Your sexual fantasies are disturbing.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:14
Genderqueer, “dude”, genderqueer. Also asexual, but that’s beside the point. Though I’m impressed the insult went from the small package instantly to reluctant dyke, usually among the jockulus idiotus, faggot or the aforementioned he-she is the insult of choice. Perhaps she can be taught.
Also are you an astronaut or just an ex-fighter pilot? Enquiring minds need to know.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:14
I do work in a very high level political job
Holy crap it’s Mark Halperin!
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:15
ATTENTION: THOMAS SOWELL RANDOM THOUGHTS COLUMN.
The Fool said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:16
Damn! I’m such an asshole. Why does my mom make me wear panties? Wish I knew wht a clitoris was. If I had a high IQ I bet i’d know! But I’m an ugly stupid teeny-dicked high-school dweeb and even the other ugly teeny-dicked high-school dweebs aren’t attracted to me any more. Damn, why am I such a little misogynist prick? Oops, I wet my pants again.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:17
But what I really want to know is how much The Fool can bench-press.
He said he *could* press 250 when he was younger.
Again, I’m embarassed for him.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:17
UiP-
Yeah, rape fantasies of feminists and lesbians, real sexy…yeah, I really don’t prefer to dwell on that one.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:18
Interclue refused to show the Sowell column. I’m going to take that as A Sign.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:19
Anyway, nice talkin’ to all you stoopid punk bitchiz. Have a nice day!
Yeah, that’ll last.
Jacob Singer said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:19
I think the Fool was the guy who advised the mayor that all New Yorkers should wear name tags.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:20
Well then:
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:20
Oh, one warning if a parody troll rather than your average regular troll, you’re veering into seriously creepy and abusive, not just funny pathetic. Just something to think about.
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:22
I wouldn’t know where to find 250 benches, much less take the time to press each one.
What?
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:22
Random thoughts? You be the judge!
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:22
Simba B is going to be so pleased with this discussion.
Neon Ovenlight said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:22
Shorter the Fool: POOOOOOOOP! BAI!
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:23
noen, where you at?
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:24
If pathetic misogynistic internet trolls turned me on, I would at least never be at a loss for masturbation material.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:25
Does the “Purrrrr” thing mean he tries to bang his cat?
Dr Ruth Blartheimer said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:26
Hisz deluszions are typical of emotionally-arreszted boysz. Quite szad.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:26
I think we should call the police.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:28
I wouldn’t know where to find 250 benches, much less take the time to press each one.
That’s why I take mine to the dry cleaners.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:29
I’m thinking we just do our stereotypical feminist potluck and use his castrated penis as the centerpiece for the big V-Day dinner before the flannel orgy using only strap-ons because we all crave so desperately to be men.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:30
use his castrated penis as the centerpiece for the big V-Day dinner
Even at 7.5”, that’s not gonna feed many.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:30
1. DKW: Awww, yer makin me *blush*
2. When he mentioned “wife’s Latina” he was clearly referring to the wife’s lesbian lover.
3. For the gratin, if you add some (real!) grated parm and or maybe swiss/gruyere into the spuds you have the famous Potatoes Delmonico. And they’re deelish either way.
4. Kneading the flour and butter gives you is called a beurre manie. Kneading it eliminates the “floury/pasty” texture. For a roux you cook the flour in butter (fat) which accomplishes the same thing.
5. blart
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:30
I don’t work for an attorney but I do work in a very high level political job. You’d be amazed. Fortunately, I’m not running for anything or looking to get a background check so I can feel free to spout off on the internet. We’re in the trough phase of the 2-year political cycle so I have a lot of free time on my hands
Ha, ha, it’s Judd Gregg. Now that our Dark Lord has taken away the Census Bureau, he’s got nothing better to do.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:31
heh – “potatoes”
kg said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:31
UiP,
We’ve got a similar gratin we make. I love my mandolin.
I’ve never made a reduction before and now I’m intrigued. I keep telling my wife that we need to me making more sauces.
Anyhow, cheers to the cooking at home for Valentine’s day or any day!!!
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:32
And now the Fool busts out with his Smoove B impression.
It’s men like him that make me so happy I found my wonderful husband.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:34
The reduction, btw, may need a small amount of brown sugar to taste at the end. It’s better to start with it sour then sweeten as needed. Other recipes have you start using a sweeter wine, but I don’t think it works as well, it’s too easy to end up with steak candy.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:35
I AM your husband. Bwahahahahaha…
No, my husband knows how to get me off.
Simba B said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:38
Eh. From what I can gather, gender wars. I stay out of gender wars for the most part.
But the whole parody troll thing, yeah. Seriously, I don’t know what the fuck to think anymore. I go back and forth on that question myself, I’ve never been able to decide one way or another. I’m not even sure I care anymore. It’s clear nothing I do will have any effect, so meh. The only thing that bugs me at this point is when the troll acts like it knows some of the regulars, and at least in some cases the recognition seems to be reciprocated. That bothers me because this community ends up being scorched-earth collateral in some personal score. Don’t we all come here to get away from crap like that?
I’ll be watching from my RSS reader. Nice thing about that is you can see the list of nyms without really looking at the comment, so it’s pretty easy to tell what kind of thread is going on.
Simba B said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:39
Oh, yeah—and I agree with MzNicky’s assessment: weird thread.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:39
steak candy
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, steak candy……..unggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:39
On sauces, this goes well on Mexican or as a lovely addition to a morning omelet:
Heat 1-2 TBS oil
Add 1 clove diced garlic & saute for about a minute.
Add 1-2 TBS flour and keep stirring until nut brown.
Stir in ~2 cups chicken or veggie broth
Add ~1 cup New Mexican red chile + ~1tsp cumin + ~1/2 tsp salt.
Boil on medium heat until reduced by 1/3
The New Mexican red can probably be replaced with some cayenne in a pinch, but either way lasts a good long while.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:42
I’m thinking asparagus along with the steaks and potato gratin.
Ladies, I think that Fool will bring the whine.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:43
I think I’ve figured it out – it’s not that The Fool doesn’t know where the g-spot is, thank you internets – it’s just that he’s never had sex. Or he has a prehensile PENIS – or one that’s hinged in the middle. He seems to be oblvious of the concept that “pulling up on the backstroke” has the exact opposite effect of what he’s claiming happens. This is because he’s never had his PENIS inside another human being.
PRO-TIP: Fool, you should invest in a Real Doll or something so that you can actually practice this magical “pulling up on the backstroke” technique. While it may indeed cause additionaly contact/stimulus to the clitoral hood, you might be interested to note what happens to the tip.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:44
Well, obviously, you make it into a casserole.
Simba B said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:46
…or maybe I missed what J— was referring to. I’ll pretend I didn’t.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:46
He should invest in a Real Doll so he’ll stop trying to bother actual women. Of course, maybe has, and when he says his wife “used to be hot” he means that the latex has been worn down and some of her fingers melted after he left her in a hot bathtub for too long in an attempt to warm her up so she’d feel alive.
Smut Clyde said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:47
Or he has a prehensile PENIS – or one that’s hinged in the middle.
The very concept makes my baculum ache.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:47
Also, my family is one in which everyone cooks; my dad specializes in steak and other grilled items and my mom does hamburger, marinades, and baking.
While I can make a bitching omelette and excellent long rolls from scratch, Sam & I are still very much in the stage of our lives where most of what we eat is microwaved. Portland will (hopefully) change this.
Me said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:47
Damn, we are become Usenet, a destroyer of threads. I hadn’t seen a real dick-waving contest in years. And everyone competing to see who can ROTFLMAO the loudest. This is really something else.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:49
I’m going to make:
seared foie gras with a rhubarb demiglace on toast points
NY strip, Pittsbugh style, with my absolutely kickass bearnaise.
Roasted aspagus with lemon herb butter
Broiled lobster tail with a dollop of my kickass aioli
Green salad with blood oranges and candied pecans
Creme brulee
Xmas coffee – brandy, Grand Marnier, Kahlua, cream.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:49
Here is some misogyny antidote.
We are all sinners in the hands of an angry steam-powered God, and it is indifferent to which of us has the tab and which has the slot.
Smut Clyde said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:49
the centerpiece for the big V-Day dinner
Ah, the final scene from The cook the thief his wife and her lover.
“Try a piece of his cock. At least you know where it’s been.”
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:50
no, alec, you may NOT come over and have me cook for you.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:51
seared foie gras with a rhubarb demiglace on toast points
Ooooh. Where are you getting the foie gras? I usually have to order it from d’Artagnan if I don’t want premade pate.
handy said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:52
Thanks to his wingnut welfare, this nitwit obviously has one of those boutique PPO plans and therefore has never had to deal with the HMO system. My provider is exactly like what he’s describing.
But people who want single-payer health care are the elitists?
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:55
Keep up, Fool. We’re done talking about your loathsome delusions of sexual prowess, and now we’re on to recipes. If you want to keep up the dick waving, post the technique for a good rack of lamb.
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:58
If you want to keep up the dick waving, post the technique for a good rack of lamb.
I don’t think you want to mention the words “dick”, “rack”, and any reference to sheep to Fool in the same sentence.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 22:59
Maybe once he jizzes in his pants, he’ll be more docile. They usually are.
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:00
…or maybe I missed what J— was referring to.
No, this:
Is exactly what I was referring to. And this:
is probably what I’ll be doing more of.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:01
Let me once again recommend Djur’s RSS filter:
http://djur.desperance.net/sadlyno/rss/feed?bad_users=|Bookmark*|The+Fool*|Palin+Fan*|Troll*|
Edit in the obvious fashion.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:02
The last time this came up, I cleverly preempted him with a comparison to the DMV. He started hoggling and goggling about the DMV in Seinfeld, and the rest of the thread was him being clubbed down with how, unlike private bureaucracies (which we can’t do a lot to legally curtail), almost all state DMVs give excellent service with relatively little money.
The difference between a public bureaucracy and a private bureaucracy is that subjects of a public bureaucracy have the very real power to legally change its structure and operations.
The wingnuts inhabit a surreal reality in which Friedmanite blather is self-evident truth instead of a contrived exegesis only reached once taught.
PeeJ said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:04
UiP: I have a few chef friends who sell me a single lobe. They mostly they get theirs from d’Artgnan. There’s usually juyst the two of us so that works out excellently. I have only once ordered a whole foie gras.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:05
The “bureaucratic hoops” thing was Sowell.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:07
You’ll have to forgive me. All wingnuts look alike, see.
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:07
Righteous Bubba: Comments by The Fool are not problem here, at least for me.
Dr Ruth Blartheimer said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:08
And now we szee the little boy aszk for the phone number of the one he previouszly inszulted. Szo szad, szo confuszed.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:08
The version of Djur’s URL I use was shortened to be nice.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:08
Oooh, UiP, you’re making horny. Are your panties still wet? Can I have your phone number?
You realize you’ve degenerated from vaguely insulting into complete incoherence now, yes?
PeeJ – You are a lucky, lucky person.
J— said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:09
The version of Djur’s URL I use was shortened to be nice.
Ah, got it. Never mind.
M. Bouffant said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:23
Crap on a crutch, that’s several mins. of my life I’ll never have back.
What is up here lately? The wing-nuts are s’posed to be the ones beyond parody, but irony or anything else about alleged “scores & sizes” w/ a ‘tween trying (& succeeding) to get your goat is just lost on me.
And then recipes? Run, run like hell, it’s Megatron!!
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:25
I was just wondering if you wanted to, er, lend a helping
handtweezer…Fixed!
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:25
That’s so pathetic there’s nothing I could add to it, really.
More snark less sincerity please KTHX said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:29
but irony or anything else about alleged “scores & sizes” w/ a ‘tween trying (& succeeding) to get your goat is just lost on me.
Yeah the Fool is winning this thread. And that’s just sad.
alec said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:30
Later in this video, they discuss making Cheez Puffs.
No comment.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:33
Filter it is. I’m bored with you now.
C’mon though, everything to be said about Debbie has pretty much been said. There’s only so many ways to put a creamy topping of snark on her stale racist cupcake.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:35
You’ll probably need this number someday: Good to have it now.
1 (800) 784-2433
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:36
Spouse and I both cook and never go out on Valentine’s for dinner. We go out a lot anyway, so it’s almost special to stay home and cook.
Here’s the bestest Valentine’s Day dessert evar. Easy and fabulous. My female friends say it gives them orgasms, something The Fool knows nothing about.
Raspberry Sorbet
3/4 c. sugar
4 Tb. Kirsch or Drambuie
2 c. raspberry puree (2 pkgs. frozen or 3 c. fresh processed in a food processor)
juice of 1/2 lemon
juice of 1/2 orange
pinch o’ salt
In med. non-aluminum saucepan combine sugar, liqueur, and 3/4 c. water. Bring to a boil and boil for six minutes. Cool slightly.
Press raspberry puree through a sieve and discard seeds. Add puree to sugar syrup, along with juices and salt.
Pour into non-aluminum ice-cube trays or shallow baking dish. Freeze until slushy. Turn sorbet into a chilled bowl and beat with a fork; return to freezer until firm. (Remove from freezer a little while before serving to soften it up.) 4 servings.
I like to make semisweet chocolate cups to serve the sorbet in. You can probably buy them ready-made if you don’t want to make them yourself.
More snark less sincerity please KTHX said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:38
There’s only so many ways to put a creamy topping of snark on her stale racist cupcake.
Now don’t be using the lull in new posts as an excuse for why you took The Fool’s bait. I’m not here to look down in judgment, but face it–y’all got bamboozled. Or in the immortal words of Malcom X: “We didn’t land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us!”
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:38
Repent of all doubts, O ye unbelievers: “U WANNA CYBER?” is the true calling card of the studly intellectual with a high-powered career.
D.N. Nation said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:40
Righteous Bubba- Yeah, that was pretty tame for a Sowell Random Thoughts spew, seeing how he’s advocated a military coup in a past episode. Anyway:
Is Sowell implying that FDR made the Great Depression worse [i]in his first freaking term[/i]? Damn, I can’t keep up with the Incredibly Wrong Wingnut Talking Point o’the Week. The FIRST term, they’re talking about. Amazing.
Is Sowell implying that the economy will begin to recover, like, next week? Who edited this thing?
He’s most likely talking about Walt Williams, who has touted in numerous columns the virtue of Franklin Pierce, known to everyone else as a demonstratively shitty president. But at least Pierce didn’t increase funding for the mentally ill, because that’d be the sins of big guvmunt, or whatever. Voice of sanity, yes.
You already have to jump through bureaucratic hoops, smart guy.
I was dead sure that this was going to be Babe Ruth, as Tom likes to pepper his Random Thoughts columns with (usually bogus) Sultan of Swat trivia. But no, that couldn’t be right, as the Babe sucked in his last few years.
The answer is actually Shoeless Joe Jackson, for anyone who wants a free book. Also…his new book? Applied Economics came out in 2003. What the hell is this? Again, did anyone edit this column? Were copies of this book showing up in the 99-cent bins with Librul Fashisum?
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:40
No, I took it because I genuinely enjoy watching someone twisting about in agony trying to preserve his inflated self image. Just head to the next thread if it bothers you.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:43
Bamboozled? He was hilarious before we unlocked the stalker rapist lurking underneath. And if bamboozled refers to his “parody troll” status, I’d remind you that a parody troll ceases being a parody when he moves from self-mockery to deliberate abuse. The Fool is a troll troll and when he ceased being amusing, we stopped playing Keep-Ups with him.
Or did he “get one over on us” because he was willing to threaten rape? Cause yeah, if so, sure, that defines a winner, mm hm, oh yeah, we’re the ones looking silly. And that applies even if he’s convinced he’s a “parody”.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:44
Ugly in Pink wins the thread, and I gave up my afternoon nap to read and contribute to this whole thing, so I get to decide.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:45
Sweeeet.
handy said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:45
Wingnuts blamed 9/11 on Clinton so I really don’t know why this would even be a notworthy thing to him, assuming it comports with any actual historical fact.
More snark less sincerity please KTHX said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:49
The Fool is a troll troll
Sorry but the tell tale was this:
becomes this:
Amusing or not, somebody’s clearly jerking people’s chains.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:50
No means no, rapist. Move along.
Also second UiP’s victory. Immediately to the baked goods. I want to make brownies this week anyways.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:50
Someone mentioned asparagus way upthread? For Christmas I gave the old man a Cuisinart “Grillinator” or whatever it’s called, this thing you can grill on or use as a griddle by interchanging the plates on it. Anyway, I used it to make grilled asparagus with olive oil lemon and garlic for our New Year’s Eve dinner and it was yum. I can post that recipe if anyone wants.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:52
Yes…someone who started posting around the same time…who I haven’t seen around…yes, you’re absolute right about that “Snark”.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:53
Or and this could be me, the fool responded in classic stalker fashion to his intended prey removing a means of contact by shifting his name.
MzNicky said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:54
Cerberus: Have you ever made blonde brownies?
While we await a fresh clean thread (this one is soiled beyond saving, I’m afraid) we can do recipe exchanges and ignore the troll. I share the blame; I know better and despise it when others feed the rancid little fuckers.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:55
Mm, lemon garlic asparagus. Also good with shredded carrots as a Czech showed me.
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:55
Do you want to have to jump through bureaucratic hoops when you are sick?
Hell no! I’d like to deal with a private insurer. They are easy to get on the phone, polite, and eager to pay my claims.
If not, why would you be in favor of government-run medical care?
I sure wouldn’t! I couldn’t trust the processing of my insurance claims to the same people who promptly and reliably deliver letters across the country for forty-two cents. I mean, government-run medical care may be good enough for the losers in our military but it’s sure not good enough for me!
actor212 said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:56
MzNicky, look to your right.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:57
MsNicky – I would LOVE a good blonde brownies recipe.
Cerberus said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:58
Sometimes, but I can never resist the urge when I have chocolate chips and brown sugar to combine them with some butterscotch chips and make some Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies.
stackozone said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:58
Wow, looks like someone mistook this for Penthouse Forums. On the other hand I’m picking up some great recipes!
tigrismus said,
February 11, 2009 at 23:58
And since this thread is dead anyway now that there’s a new unspoilt one, or should be DIE THREAD DIE, a nice, simple dessert can be had by cutting the peels off oranges(~1 per person, blood oranges are particularly nice), slicing across the segments and arranging on plates, sprinkling each with a wee bit of sugar and a teaspoon or so of orange flower water, and chilling. BITE ME RECIPE HATERS!
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 12, 2009 at 0:00
Shit. Guess I missed the train on the Sowell thing.
MzNicky said,
February 12, 2009 at 0:21
Ugly in Pink: Here ya go.
Blonde Brownies
2 3/4 c. flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2/3 c. oil
2 1/2 c. LIGHT brown sugar
3 eggs
6 oz. pkg. chocolate chips
1 c. chopped pecans
Combine flour, baking powder, and salt; set aside. Combine oil and brown sugar in large mixing bowl and mix well. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each. Gradually add dry ingredients mixing well. Stir in choc. chips and nutz. Spread batter in a greased 13x9x2 baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 min. then cut into squares after cooled. Makes about 2 1/2 or 3 doz.
Some Guy said,
February 12, 2009 at 0:39
Whoa, 633+ response? Cripes it must be a troll orgy up there.
Anyways, I actually agree with the gist of Debbie’s point; that’s fucking dumb and irresponsible.
handy said,
February 12, 2009 at 0:42
I actually agree with the gist of Debbie’s point
…without all the racist subtext.
Ugly In Pink said,
February 12, 2009 at 0:47
Awesome.
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 12, 2009 at 0:55
Cripes it must be a troll orgy up there.
Truer than you think.
Grand Moff Texan said,
February 12, 2009 at 0:56
Why, if the Fool has such high objective scores, does s/he write like a college freshman getting in over their head? Why has the fool made every n00b mistake on this thread, including the present manly challenge?
It’s like amateur hour on Tacitus, ca. 2002.
.
soullite said,
February 12, 2009 at 1:28
Soo….
In this person’s spare time she goes out and tries to get her ass kicked?
Evie said,
February 12, 2009 at 1:44
Owlbear1, dismissing and ridiculing Debbie’s views not because they are worthy of ridicule in themselves but because they are coming from a woman who does not have children of her own, is sexist.
The biological clock is only a matter of medical fact to the extent that women’s fertility will decrease and eventually come to an end with age. The assumption that Debbie desperately wants to have children is sexist. The assumption that Debbie desperately wants children but has been unable to have them is sexist.
We know neither of these things as facts, and the “ticking” of the biological clock is often used to dismiss much more valid opinions coming from women. Debbie’s views are offensive and racist and that is the basis on which they should be ridiculed.
“Evie, please don’t forget to rebuke Actor for his apparent racism, to wit:
Please say dat dere Debbie din’t! She din’t get all in some betches faces an diss on dem, did she? She be steppin’ hard, man! Dat some grade A frontin’ dat honkee beeyatch be doin’!” – OB GYN Kenobi
As I am in the habit of reading the entire post and all other comments before commenting, I did notice this actually. Actor was clearly ridiculing Debbie’s racism, and specifically her ridiculous idea of how African-Americans speak. The intent was to show her account up as false and/or objectionable. The difference is that the jokes about the “ticking” biological clock weren’t making fun of Debbie’s sexism, they were actually making fun of her for being a woman without children.
“I think you may have missed that, with quite a few other racist and sexist comments in this thread, too. Respectfully, if you feel my comment was sexist and misogynistic, then I encourage you to look upon it as an opportunity to engage me in dialogue, not to judge and pontificate.”
So, if I notice two comments I find objectionable, I’m not allowed to call them out unless I call out every other offensive comment made? Why didn’t you call out any of the “many comments” you found “racist or sexist”?
Whenever sexism or gender inequality are brought up you get this kind of disingenous, reactionary response that is designed to silence debate.
“Respectfully, if you feel my comment was sexist and misogynistic, then I encourage you to look upon it as an opportunity to engage me in dialogue, not to judge and pontificate.”
I suppose as a woman and a feminist (which for the uninformed is someone who believes in equality between men and women, and that’s all), the frustration caused by reading those comments made me want to criticise them immediately. I don’t think you or owlbear1 necessarily intended to be sexist. Sexism is insidious and often unconscious, and it is internalised by women and girls in the same way as racism. For example, people within the African-American community who have a preference for lighter-skinned black people are internalising racism; women and girls who buy into sexist double-standards and call other women and girls “sluts” or “whores” are internalising sexism.
I think it is always useful to question our underlying cultural and societal assumptions.
henry lewis said,
February 12, 2009 at 1:45
Grumble, grumble.
[...goes searching for troll+responders-free thread...]
MzNicky said,
February 12, 2009 at 2:26
Evie: Kick ass. Please come back soon, and often.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
February 12, 2009 at 2:43
Holy Ned, such posts…
Reminds me of the time I went to see Schindler’s List and there were a couple of jews MAKING OUT.
Are you sure it wasn’t Schindler’s Lust?
The people I have met who mention that they belong to Mensa, like Debbie, always strike me as pretty dumb.
In Debbie’s case, it’s Densa.
The liberals just make bankers and CEOs the boogeymen to discredit the entire capitalist system.
Hey, gonna pitch this one to Miramax… Investment banker stalks nubile teens in summer internship program, dispatches them in grisly fashion. Now, the “document shredder” scene will be especially gruesome.
The James Frey of the retard set
We have a winner!
Tehanu said,
February 12, 2009 at 2:50
Hey, I’m a member of Densa! Debbie couldn’t get in, trust me!
comsympinko said,
February 12, 2009 at 3:18
Wow.
Race, gender and class. No points of contention there.
What, we couldn’t work religion in here too?
Megann McAlthouse said,
February 12, 2009 at 3:37
Jeezus, 600+ comments and no photos of the woman the Fool is pretending is his wife?
g said,
February 12, 2009 at 3:39
Geez, people, I leave this thread for a couple hours and you let that Fool in here! Don’t you know any better?
The Fool needs to get back to detention in the study hall, the hall monitor must be slacking off.
Listen, we had a good thing going when What’s His Troll Name spammed that purse-snatching story and everyone ignored him for at least seven go-rounds before someone made the mistake of responding to him.
What’s say we go for a record next time for ignoring assholes when they post shit like that?
Tommykey said,
February 12, 2009 at 3:56
She has gone undercover, infiltrating many Muslim organizations in the Detroit area
DEBBIE DOES DETROIT.
Wonder if she had to sleep with any Muslim imams in order to get some of her intel.
Candy said,
February 12, 2009 at 6:45
wrap my cock around my waist and tie a knot in it as a substitue for a belt. Oddly, the fashion has never caught on.
Dagnabit, PeeJ, I now have this little ditty going through my head:
Does your dick hang low
Does it wobble to and fro
Can you tie it in a knot
Can you tie it in a bow?
Can you throw it over your shoulder
like a continental soldier
Does your dick hang low?
And this . . . this thread . . . weird doesn’t even begin to describe it.
J Neo Marvin said,
February 12, 2009 at 10:16
I can’t find it on Google, but I distinctly remember a Dan O’Neill comic strip character (don’t remember if it was Odd Bodkins or later) called the Foolkiller who walked around carrying a big club with nails sticking out while a guy in a jester outfit would flit around in the background, forever out of his reach.
Reminds me of this thread.
Luther said,
February 12, 2009 at 14:57
I was intrigued as to how nearly 700 comments were posted recently, so now I know.
It’s just a couple of guys having a “My dick is bigger” argument.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 12, 2009 at 16:31
Someone mentioned asparagus way upthread? I can post that recipe if anyone wants.
Please do!
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 12, 2009 at 16:51
The biological clock is only a matter of medical fact to the extent that women’s fertility will decrease and eventually come to an end with age. The assumption that Debbie desperately wants to have children is sexist. The assumption that Debbie desperately wants children but has been unable to have them is sexist.
Let me know when you find someone who has made that assumption. Be sure to actually ask them what they’re trying to say before you start berating them.
We know neither of these things as facts, and the “ticking” of the biological clock is often used to dismiss much more valid opinions coming from women. Debbie’s views are offensive and racist and that is the basis on which they should be ridiculed.
I don’t post to please you, and I suspect that you don’t post to please me. Unless you’re one of our hosts on this site, I don’t think you have standing to tell me or anyone else what they should or should not do.
As I am in the habit of reading the entire post and all other comments before commenting, I did notice this actually. Actor was clearly ridiculing Debbie’s racism, and specifically her ridiculous idea of how African-Americans speak. The intent was to show her account up as false and/or objectionable. The difference is that the jokes about the “ticking” biological clock weren’t making fun of Debbie’s sexism, they were actually making fun of her for being a woman without children.
And, of course, you know this for a fact, right? Frankly, Evie, what upset me most about your comment was your apparent certitude that you knew what Owlbear and I were saying and thinking, that you didn’t need to engage us in any kind of dialogue about it and that you could just jump straight to the lecture. I’m certainly not above mistakes, and I have made many in my time, but before I take heat for them, I expect the heater to spend a little time and effort in checking things out, not to simply shoot from the hip.
So, if I notice two comments I find objectionable, I’m not allowed to call them out unless I call out every other offensive comment made?
I neither said nor intended any such thing, and I challenge you to demonstrate otherwise. More to the point, I actually *invited* you to discourse on the topic with me, so your claim that you are “not allowed” is self-evidently disingenuous. I think pretty much everyone who posts on the Internet is subject to criticism, and that includes you *and* me.
Perhaps you expected your criticism to stand without reply? Did you perhaps think that?
Why didn’t you call out any of the “many comments” you found “racist or sexist”?
Do you want me to do that?
Maybe we would all be better informed if you did it for us. Then we could all know where your boundaries are. I’m not here to set limits for others, but it certainly appears that you are.
Whenever sexism or gender inequality are brought up you get this kind of disingenous, reactionary response that is designed to silence debate.
And you just know for a fact that’s what Owlbear and I were thinking, right? No need to ask questions or say something along the lines of ‘what did you mean by that’ — you just leapt to a conclusion and you’re running with it. Is that about right?
I suppose as a woman and a feminist (which for the uninformed is someone who believes in equality between men and women, and that’s all), the frustration caused by reading those comments made me want to criticise them immediately. I don’t think you or owlbear1 necessarily intended to be sexist.
Respectfully, given your leap to judgment, I don’t believe you. And I reject your implicit labeling of me as “uninformed.”
Sexism is insidious and often unconscious, and it is internalised by women and girls in the same way as racism. For example, people within the African-American community who have a preference for lighter-skinned black people are internalising racism; women and girls who buy into sexist double-standards and call other women and girls “sluts” or “whores” are internalising sexism.
I require no lecture from you on this topic. If you want to discuss it, that’s one thing, but I honestly think that you’re much more interested in lecturing than discussing.
I think it is always useful to question our underlying cultural and societal assumptions.
Then perhaps you should give it a try. Perhaps you should consider that your assumptions might be in need of confirmation before you rush to judge others based upon them.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 12, 2009 at 16:53
Fool: You’re barking up the wrong tree, but don’t stop. You entertain me.
J Neo Marvin said,
February 12, 2009 at 16:56
You whiny ass titty babies may not like The Fool but don’t let it escape your notice that The Fool rarely starts these exchanges, he’s just willing to go wherever he’s pushed.
Translation: I sit around all day googling “sadly no” “punk” looking for a thread where I can jump in and make an ass of myself.
J Neo Marvin said,
February 12, 2009 at 17:21
There is nothing in this world more fascinating than a middle-aged guy who talks about his dick all the time.
Grand Moff Texan said,
February 12, 2009 at 18:46
Like I said. No game.
.
anon for this embarrassing admission said,
February 12, 2009 at 19:24
I would think Debbie would like teen slasher flicks like Friday the 13th. The teens who have sex are always the first ones to be killed.
The funny thing about this is that I’ve suspected for a long time now that I once hooked up with Debbie at a party in high school. From what I know of her history, the timeline and location is right, but it’s been a while so I’m not completely sure. Still, there’s so much that is familiar about her now that I think I’m right.
Dreamweasel said,
February 12, 2009 at 19:46
S.H. Class of ’86, if you must know.
LOL said,
February 12, 2009 at 20:17
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Debbie_Schlussel
J Neo Marvin said,
February 13, 2009 at 5:13
It’s hard to call someone a loser when their response is to agree and brag about it.
Mooser said,
February 13, 2009 at 20:14
500 comments! What did I miss?
MarkC said,
February 18, 2009 at 2:06
Nothing much to say, just wanted to be part of this historic Sadly, No! comment thread. Perhaps “longest thread” but certainly “longest thread on a liberal blog with no discernible brain activity”. And some people thing size doesn’t matter!
waldo said,
February 19, 2009 at 15:04
OB-GYN Kenobi
Those ovaries aren’t getting any younger. I know you were too polite to write it…
Hickory Dickory Dock
Deb’s biological clock
Is whirling around
At the speed of sound
Debbie craves some c**k
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
February 19, 2009 at 15:53
Uh, no, not really.
Criticizing Debbie Schlussel for being a childless fuck who berates others for their parenting is, IMO, exactly the same as berating Der Pantload for being a warmongering turd who doesn’t have the stones to actually enlist himself.
Both Schlussel and Loadz0r are being judgmental and lecture-y about something with which they have exactly zero experience. And that’s where I was coming from.
And screw you, Evie.
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December 15, 2011 at 1:50
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