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Oh, sweet baby Jesus, they’re at it again over at the hilariously mis-monikered American Thinker blog. Joyce Capron, who claims to be a “writer,” can’t even play a simple game of tennis without having that vile Negro in the White House assaulting her delicate sensibilities:
Today at tennis, after I made a hard point, my partner offered the Obama fist bump.
“I don’t do that,” I said, and I gave her a stern look. It’s not the first time I’ve run into Obamabots on the courts. … I didn’t stop and lecture the O’Bot, because Wasting Indoor Court Time is a Sin. I just high-fived her with my racquet, and went on playing.
I’m not so sure when the dap became exclusively associated with Obama, but if Joyce isn’t going to do anything that Obama does, I can suggest that she also stop peeing indoors, eating with utensils, taking regular showers and, well, breathing.
I’m into civil disobedience these days, now that we Right-Thinkers are in the minority, living in fear of Obamification. In small ways, I resist.
1) I refuse to do the fist bump. We Right Thinkers need our own hand jive, a nonverbal way to say, ‘I’m Anti-Obi’. I’m open to suggestions.
Well, how about, as such a gesture, sticking your thumb up your butt while pinching your nostrils tightly closed with your other hand?
2) I turn His face around. Whenever I’m standing in line in a store, and find coverboy Obambi staring at me, I turn the offensive magazines around to face backwards. … By hiding His image, I may be slightly interfering with commerce, but if I can prevent one more person from being suckered into socialism, I’ll do it.
That’s what I love about The American Thinker: it’s always pointing out things I hadn’t realized before. I had no idea that seeing Obama’s face on a magazine cover is what had turned me into a socialist. Prior to that, the only time an image had so strongly affected me was when a photo of Kathryn Jean Lopez made me gay.
3) I send e-mails to mainstream media, urging them to wake up from their Kool-Aid stupor and report what’s going on. Sometimes, I link [American Thinker] essays.
Any day now, a few folks in the MSM will read one of Joyce’s many emails, the scales will fall of their eyes, the truth will become evident and the MSM will finally report that Obama is a socialist. You will have Joyce’s e-mails to thank for that, you ungrateful wretches, and if you don’t thank her, she’ll give you a stern look.
4) I have my talking points ready. The best [American Thinker] essays I collect in a Rhetorical Ammunition file. If someone needs to hear what’s wrong with the deficit or with federalizing healthcare or with failing to support Israel, I can tell them.
OMG, I think I’ve met this woman. Some years ago there was a woman in a building that I used to live in who lugged around with her everywhere she went several shopping bags filled to bursting with file folders and loose documents. She never let these papers out of her sight and called them her “evidence.” A malicious neighbor used to terrify her with stories of helicopters hovering over the roof of the building until she rarely left her apartment. Who knew that one day she’d be writing for the American Thinker?