Feb
9

Boner’s Ark




Posted at 8:19 by Gavin M.

Doop-de-doop, checkin’ the email.

ConservativeHQ.com Launches ‘Conservatives’ Answer to Doonesbury’

Well this looks like good news for ol’ Chris Muir. At last he’ll be tapped into the wingnut welfare mainline.


Above: Conservatives’ answer to Doonesbury

Okay, we helped that one along a bit. Here’s the original strip, and verily, never let it be said that we aren’t the liberal answer to the conservatives’ answer to Doonesbury.

MANASSAS, Virginia, Feb. 6 /Christian Newswire/ — ConservativeHQ.com is launching a new daily comic strip that is the conservatives’ answer to political comics like “Doonesbury” and the strip-turned-animated-cartoon “The Boondocks.”

…And The Boondocks. We’re like the answer to their answer to the Boonsbury Dock-Boon whatsis thing, except with more of a Mutts-meets-Terry-and-the-Pirates concept, and pushed to the max with kind of a ’70s Métal Hurlant visual aesthetic, if you see the market we’re aiming at.


Above: If nobody appreciates the complexity of this gag, it will still have been worth it.

Well, hooray for Chris Muir, anyway.

“Liberal comedians and cartoonists have expressed great anguish at the rise of Barack Obama to the presidency, because having a perfect president makes it impossible to make fun of Washington,” says Richard Viguerie, chairman of ConservativeHQ.com. “‘The Gentleman from Lickskillet’ is conservatives’ response.”

And that’s why. . .uh, what?

[...]

“The Gentleman from Lickskillet” is the first conservative comic strip to interweave humor and satire with continuing storylines and a large cast of characters.

The sound like a feather brushing across a Fisher-Price xylophone was Muir’s self-esteem throwing itself down a tiny staircase. Not only are they working his very concept, but it’s as if Duffy had appeared on the scene all pleased with herself, acting like she’d never heard of Amy Winehouse.

[...]

The strip’s creators are Steven J. Allen, a journalist and longtime Washington insider, and cartoonist Kevin Tuma.

Allen was raised on a chicken farm–like his main character–in the Appalachian foothills of Alabama. A
former newspaper reporter and radio news director, Allen served as senior editor of Conservative Digest
magazine, as vice president of a think tank on Washington’s K Street, and as press secretary to a U.S. Senator. His commentaries have appeared in such publications as Newsday and The New York Times. He has a Juris Doctorate from Cumberland School of Law and a PhD from George Mason University.

I.e., this is a man who knows funny.

Tuma is an editorial cartoonist and comic book artist from Texas. He penciled such comic book series as Tales of the Green Hornet, The Twilight Zone, and Dan Turner, Hollywood Detective, and was a regular contributor to Cracked magazine. His political cartoons have appeared on the CNS News Web site and in such publications as The American Conservative and the Cato Institute journal Regulation.

I.e., this is a man capable of reviewing a composition such as this and going, “Yeah, that’s looking pretty good.”

On the other hand, both gentlemen seem to incline to the paleocon side of things. This means that their opinions may be wrong only 80-90% of the time — in contrast to the quasars of broad-spectrum quantum wrongness now blasting away in distant corners of the universe, the wormholes of which resolve to hypergons of n-dimensional failspace, such as the one created by William Kristol via an achieved rate of error in excess of 100%.

Anyway, let’s see what they


Above: The Gentleman from Lickskillet, 2/9/09

Uh, a star is born?

269 Comments »

  1. t4toby said,

    February 9, 2009 at 8:27

    That comic is as unfunny as this post is funny.

    Doughy and the Chumps FTW!!!1!

  2. Jake H. said,

    February 9, 2009 at 8:43

    Hey dumbasses – you know how we know we’re funnier than you? When we make the funny, we don’t have to issue press releases explaining it.

  3. Gundamhead said,

    February 9, 2009 at 8:49

    The senator’s name is “Malarkey”! Now that’s satire my friends.

  4. James R MacLean said,

    February 9, 2009 at 8:49

    Hmmm, the author of the strip known as “Lickskillet” seems not to understand basic logic or basic math.

    “Governor, the family has invested heavily in poorly run businesses and state governments so as to make billions from bailouts that Cousin Winthrop will be giving out.”

    Invested before the crisis to get a bailout? That’s so stupid it really is not funny.

    Also, it’s drawn like a Jack Chick pamplet.

  5. krassen said,

    February 9, 2009 at 8:50

    For a moment there I thought I “got” it. You know, Sen. Judd Gregg will be the new Secretary of Commerce, so you may think he’s the one giving the bailout cash; and then there is this “deal” with the Governor for his replacement…

    Then I remembered that Gregg is actually a Republican…and the deal is to replace him with another Republican to preserve the balance in the Senate… (even though the Governor is a Democrat)

  6. Electricgrendel said,

    February 9, 2009 at 8:52

    OMG! Run for your lives! The reckless bravados at Sadly, No! have combined funny with the anti-funny of that strip! The resulting explosion will be devestating! Whole cosmos will be rent assunder!

  7. M. Bouffant said,

    February 9, 2009 at 8:53

    I don’t get the original DBD at all. Is it some sort of reference to the fact that some people whose incomes aren’t limited to wages & tips misplace their 1099s & therefore get railroaded out of cabinet positions? And if so, how or in what way does it connect to that, other than the word “taxes?”

    Conservative Doonesberry? Muir even has the long shot of the White House straight outta the Trudeau sketchbook.

    This Lickspittle thing looks like J. T. Chick w/ actual illustrative talent. Everyone still looks creepy though.

    Dragon Lady?

  8. Jeff Fecke said,

    February 9, 2009 at 8:56

    I never thought I’d say this, but that makes Chris Muir’s work look funny.

    Of course, it makes Ebola look funny, too.

    I guess it takes two men to be more unfunny than Muir. But I will say this — their artwork does resemble actual human beings.

  9. Irony's Mother said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:03

    That little brat Muir keeps beating my son up! Day after Day!!

  10. dcsln said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:06

    I was expecting to be outraged, or at least annoyed, by the series. I went to the beginning, read the whole inauguration series (from here), and it was completely boring. Intellectuals with beards and glasses are not a setup for a punchline – that’s the whole joke. I was expecting something like Bill O’Reilly making jokes, but this is more like Bob Novak making jokes, wheezing and har-har-ing to himself.

  11. owlbear1 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:07

    This Lickspittle thing looks like J. T. Chick w/ actual illustrative talent. Everyone still looks creepy though.

    Can’t wait for the little shoulder-demons with pitchforks.
    Oooh, and the Finger of Lightening!!!!!1!!1!!!!!1??!!!…

  12. Suckersapien said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:08

    You can’t see it, but my face right now is exactly like Krusty the Klown’s after watching “Worker and Parasite.”

  13. M. Bouffant said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:16

    Oh, crap. Oh oh. I could barely get beyond “Richard Viguries’s ConservativeHQ’s” (Pee Wee’s Playhouse?) banner of a prairie fire (used to be a commie band in L. A. called “Prairie Fire”) but I read every strip.

    I stay away from the “eyeball/brain bleach,” lines, but damn! Lights out,baby!

  14. M. Bouffant said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:18

    Actually, must give them the merest smidge of credit for the Don Martin reference. Homage.

  15. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:19

    I don’t get it. Why is the Governor tending a bar?

    Is he really expecting 5% of a seven hundred billion dollar bailout? Or just the billions that “Consigliere” and his chums are getting? Even if it’s, say “half a billions”, five percent is twenty-five million dollars. Twenty. Five. Million. Dollars. I don’t think Dukestir managed to rake in that kind of philthy lucre in his Hall of Fame career.

    I do find the name of the TV News show pretty funny. “Mouthful” – and the graphic is a total heterosexual image of a totally non-phallic object pointed at someone’s teeth.

    Anyways, here’s my improvement on the strip.
    Frame 1: The word PENIS in Comic Sans – big font, diagonally from bottom left to top right, embedded in one of those starburst-y Ka-Pow thingies.
    Frame 2: “Corrupt and Mobbed Up. Like, I mean TOTALLY Corrupt!” in Comic Sans – centred in frame.
    Frame 3: Random LOLCat captioned with “O NOES! PENIS KANT B KORE-UPT!”
    Frame 4: The Starburst- Ka-Pow thing from Frame 1, shrunk down a bit, with a speech balloon saying “Sorry LOLCat, I’m TOTALLY Corrupt. And Mobbed Up!”

    I await my Wingnut Welfare check.

  16. NutellaonToast said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:21

    Wait, so bartenders pick senators now or something? WTF?

  17. Funkhauser said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:23

    Lickskillet = GYWO – talent – humor – wit + teh suck

  18. Smut Clyde said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:25

    Above: If nobody appreciates the complexity of this gag, it will still have been worth it.
    Damnit, now I’m trying to remember the details of the long-running Heavy Metal strip you’re parodying there.

  19. Daphne Chyprious said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:26

    Recently it was the conservative answer to “liberal” Hollywood. Now it’s the conservative version of “liberal” cartoons. Don’t these people ever START an original enterprise for liberals to huff and puff about before initiating our (invariably far inferior) response to them?

  20. NutellaonToast said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:36

    i just read all the archives.

    I’m going to start laughing any minute now, I think. Seriously, they don’t have punch lines. It’s more like just getting fucking punched. Ugh.

  21. conumbdrum said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:41

    Wow… “Lickskillet,” really IS even less witty than Chris Muir, and lacks the wingnut surrealism that makes each “Day by Day” strip so amusingly incoherent. Hell, even “Mallard Fillmore” beats out this sad, sad dreck.

    I congratulate Viguerie and company for coughing up the cartoon equivalent of The Half Hour News Hour… now THAT takes some serious commitment to teh unfunny.

  22. Saint Jesus said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:53

    Wow… “Lickskillet,” really IS even less witty than Chris Muir, and lacks the wingnut surrealism that makes each “Day by Day” strip so amusingly incoherent. Hell, even “Mallard Fillmore” beats out this sad, sad dreck.

    I do like their rugged devotion to the idea that leftist politicians are feudal barons. It’s a belief system so convoluted and openly asinine that anyone who hasn’t started from the assumption that slavery was a long con by the devious blacks is going to throw up their hands and call you an idiot.

    I wouldn’t say no wingnuts can be funny. A good libertarian will, once in a blue moon, actually recognize abusive authority figures. But by and large, and especially when they’re loyal Party men, they’re just bullies too cowardly to use their fists.

  23. shaun said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:58

    On my iphone, the ‘doughy’ strip is cut off in the second panel by the navigation bar. All I see is a hideous monster – and the abominable snowman behind her.
    Thank you. Thank you very much.

  24. Smut Clyde said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:00

    the ‘doughy’ strip is cut off in the second panel by the navigation bar
    This is part of “the complexity of this gag” which Gavin expects us to appreciate.

  25. Lesley said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:03

    Next time I have trouble getting to sleep I’ll be sure to read a Lickspittle cartoon.

  26. Hoosier X said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:05

    Liberal comedians and cartoonists have expressed great anguish at the rise of Barack Obama to the presidency, because having a perfect president makes it impossible to make fun of Washington.

    Did they, now?

    Is there an example of this floating around somewhere? Just one? A single example?

    Liberals like examples. Conservatives … not so much.

    Any comedian who thinks that the president is the only source of Republican dimwittery is … non-existent?

    I mean, Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh didn’t stop staying stupid and easily mockable nonsense just because Bush is out of office.

  27. Typical Republican said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:07

    Liberal comedians and cartoonists have expressed great anguish at the rise of Barack Obama to the presidency, because having a perfect president makes it impossible to make fun of Washington.

    There. That’s been said a second time. We just need one more and it becomes true.

    Gary?

  28. Shaun said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:16

    This is part of “the complexity of this gag” which Gavin expects us to appreciate.

    Ha, now that I check it on my work PC, I can see the ‘tear’ but on my iphone, the tear was covered by the navigation bar and I thought I was missing a whole other panel.

    I think the gag is just too complex for me.

    And yes, I made my first comment while in the men’s room.

  29. Another Kiwi said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:17

    See, there’s this whole other universe called Upsidedownworld and occasionally there is leakage across from it which amazingly seems to be of conservative comic strips that they find funny, we don’t.
    Or they couldn’t get a laugh at a nitrous oxide users convention.
    Gavins captions for the DBD strip are way funnier than Muirs droolings.

  30. johnbinpt said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:23

    Jesus, are the Repugs aiming for a new prohibition targeting comedy? I don’t find that funny in the least.

  31. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:33

    Recently it was the conservative answer to “liberal” Hollywood. Now it’s the conservative version of “liberal” cartoons. Don’t these people ever START an original enterprise for liberals to huff and puff about before initiating our (invariably far inferior) response to them?

    If they did, then they wouldn’t be conservatives, now would they? Hmmm?

  32. pedestrian said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:33

    Needs more Chappaquiddick.

  33. alec said,

    February 9, 2009 at 10:48

    Needs more Chappaquiddick.

    I am reminded of a Republican sneering about the hateful liberals laughing at Cheney’s temporary use of a wheelchair being equivalent to their innocent japes at the expense of Edward Kennedy, who had evidently brought a crippling, inevitably and slowly fatal disease on himself by being the most liberal member of the Senate whenever the Democrats aren’t running a governor.

    If there’s anything that will be the movementarians’ undoing, it’s just that – their complete inability to see that they’re wholly out at sea. They’ll probably never realize that their hilarious racist prop comedy isn’t even going to pull a majority of Republicans – and every election cycle, they’ve gotten weaker and weaker, more and more dependent on pandering to single-issue loons and easy PAC money. But by God, they stuck to their principles.

    I call him Hussein, a-heeh ehh ehh ehh’h.

  34. Joe Max said,

    February 9, 2009 at 11:13

    I looked at the Day By Day comic, and the Lickskillet comic, and I’m damned if I can find anything comic about them. In fact, I don’t even understand what they’re talking about. The Lickskillet one kind of made sense – OK, politicians take graft. A barrel of yuks, that one. The humor in it is not enough to even power a one-liner in a blog, much less a four-panel strip.

    I don’t even understand what point Muir is trying to make, let alone why it should be funny.

    There is such a thing as conservative humor that works – it’s rare though it exists. But outside of the occasional P.J. O’Rourke quip, I can’t think of any that isn’t mean-spirited, snidely dismissive and/or utterly incomprehensible. I guess I just don’t speak wingnut well enough.

  35. Steve in Sacto said,

    February 9, 2009 at 11:23

    One can only hope that abominable put a cap on his ‘little Hewitt’…

  36. alec said,

    February 9, 2009 at 11:30

    I looked at the Day By Day comic, and the Lickskillet comic, and I’m damned if I can find anything comic about them. In fact, I don’t even understand what they’re talking about. The Lickskillet one kind of made sense – OK, politicians take graft. A barrel of yuks, that one. The humor in it is not enough to even power a one-liner in a blog, much less a four-panel strip.

    I think the problem is that Doonesbury – with its economy and dry archness, and occasional flirtation with serious philosophy – appears to set the bar pretty low if you don’t actually understand it. So they assume that the set-pieces are arbitrary, that there doesn’t really need to be a punchline, and that the only reason people read it is because they’s lieberals.

    I guess ‘poorly-written character comedy wrapped around and designed for exhibiting the most recent Party talking-points’ is how you would go about doing Doonesbury if all you knew about it was why that asshole who does Mallard Fillmore thinks nobody wants to give him a Pulitzer.

    Oh, that and unreadable text. (Bonus if it is evidently a Comic Sans knockoff.)

  37. Bummer said,

    February 9, 2009 at 11:37

    I totally get it now. “all must sacrifice” LOL!!! that was great. good job. and that cliffhanger at the end really leaves me wondering what the fuck is going on.

  38. Joe Max said,

    February 9, 2009 at 12:00

    alec -

    Muir’s strip is a blatant rip-off of Trudeau, more so every day. The guy is *trying* to be Gary Trudeau. And failing.

    Doonsebury comes up with brilliant touches, like Bush Jr. as an invisible guy in a Roman helmet. It’s a ridiculous image but the concept makes perfect sense, even if you’re a neo-con hawk who reveled in Bush’s idiotic militarism. I’ve never seen Muir be able to do anything like that.

    You don’t need to know who Uncle Duke is to grasp the set-up of him being a lobbyist for a corrupt ex-Soviet state’s dictator. You don’t need to know who B.D. is to understand the situation is a tough-guy vet who lost a leg in Iraq. These are touchstones to a common reality that doesn’t need doctrinaire framing to be understood.

    But Muir’s strip doesn’t take place in common reality, it takes place in wingnut space. Every element, every set-up, is a trope, a dog whistle, a put-down delivered with a sneer. You can’t even begin to make what little sense of it there is without knowing who and what the characters are. The whole thing is a running inside joke.

    Lickspittle actually reminds me more of a This Modern World knockoff than a Doonsebury mockery.

  39. Stan Lee said,

    February 9, 2009 at 12:04

    Look Kid, I really can’t think of a single problem that was EVER solved with the powers to smell pasta at 1000 yards and a glow in the dark head. The Hewitt/Malkin Nukular mutant has potential. Maybe as something Wolverine shreds to pieces?

  40. Stan Lee said,

    February 9, 2009 at 12:15

    Got a name for it:

    The Hewmalkular!

  41. bjacques said,

    February 9, 2009 at 13:00

    I see what u did ther. It’s that late-70s / early ’80s strip that had a character called Gollywog, who got bashed up in an accident and whoever rebuilt his face only had that mask available. He sort of wandered through what looked like Bizarro-America but wasn’t too far off from reality. Condo bondage!

    Rightwingers can do pointed comedy, like satire or parody, as well as anyone else, but only if the targets are safe, like bad movies or books, general stupidity, or really fucked countries (see P.J. O’Rourke). Actually, if a country is fucked because the CIA tipped its ruling junta off to massacre a generation’s worth of people who could have built the country but happened to have read “Das Kapital” once in college, then that’s not especially funny either.

    But rightwingers can’t do social or political satire very well, because I see what u did ther. It’s that late-70s / early ’80s strip that had a character called Gollywog, who got bashed up in an accident and whoever rebuilt his face only had that mask available. He sort of wandered through what looked like Bizarro-America but wasn’t too far off from reality. Condo bondage!

    The rightwing POV is that of privilege, and that’s where its comedy comes from there. Rightwingers can do pointed comedy, like satire or parody, as well as anyone else, but only if the targets are safe, like bad movies or books, general stupidity, or really fucked countries (see P.J. O’Rourke). Actually, if a country is fucked because the CIA tipped its ruling junta off to massacre a generation’s worth of people who could have built the country but happened to have read “Das Kapital” once in college, then that’s not especially funny either.

    Rightwingers can’t do social or political satire very well, because they occupy (or at least identify with) the top of the totem pole. They can’t aim level or high without insulting their friends or bosses. That’s what you call friendly fire.

    They can attack the political opposition, as in Democrats, but it doesn’t work when their own side are guilty of worse sins than their targets are. You can’t attack hypocrisy if you’re guilty of it yourself.

    So they can only aim down, enforcing the social hierarchy, like the Heathers warning the unpopular girls not to get above themselves. Or they can laugh at freaks, physical, social or economical, like on South Park.

    Some of them, like South Park or late ’70s National Lampoon, claim to be equal opportunity mockers, but they aren’t really. From their position, most of their targets will be below them socially or economically. Meanwhile, they pull their punches when aiming upwards, because they know they’d be slapped down hard. After all, they’d do the same.

  42. D Johnston said,

    February 9, 2009 at 13:08

    I took the liberty of reading all the Lickspittle cartoons. Phew.

    You know what it reminds me of? Bloom County. The situations, the characters, the cadence of the dialogue – even the art looks vaguely like early Breathed. They also take a few stabs at Boondocks-style edginess, failing miserably because, as many of you have noted, they are using the same old wingnut tropes. It’s hard to be edgy with recycled humor. Perhaps best of all, in two of the strips they use a biracial girl as a mouthpiece, ripping off (of all things) Mallard Fillmore creator Bruce Tinsley’s habit of using a Korean-American boy to spout his beliefs. Ripping off Mallard Fillmore? That’s low.

    I also noticed that, in the inauguration strips, they never once mention Obama by name or show his face, and he only appears at all in a single strip. You can increase the humor by several orders of magnitude by pretending that “the President” is, say, Chester A. Arthur.

  43. Till said,

    February 9, 2009 at 13:14

    1) “Respecting the office” is what you do when you applaud the President when he walks in to deliver the State of the Union, even if you hate his guts. It’s a fairly insulting thing to say to the person, when you could’ve gone with “I respect *you*”.

    2) Um. That “joke” could have been halfway to making sense if it had been about the entire Cabinet resigning.

    3) It would still have been painfully unfunny.

  44. Smut Clyde said,

    February 9, 2009 at 13:15

    who got bashed up in an accident and whoever rebuilt his face only had that mask available
    No, no, his spaceship crashed in the Australian outback and the local tribe put him together again, using the face-paint pattern of some role in a corroboree as the model. In the course of the first few episodes he was brought up among the tribe and initiated into their traditions. Trust me, I remember this vividly, though admittedly I also have vivid memories of turning into a wendigo after too many ‘shrooms.

    I really can’t think of a single problem that was EVER solved with the powers to smell pasta at 1000 yards
    In an alternative universe, the comic-strip character known as Wolverine ended up with the name ‘Glutton’ instead.
    /Joke from several threads ago

  45. alec said,

    February 9, 2009 at 13:19

    Some of them, like South Park or late ’70s National Lampoon, claim to be equal opportunity mockers, but they aren’t really.

    Define myopia: Penn Jillette, discussing a Facebook acquaintance who characterized Palin in the debate with “I just threw up in my mouth a little”, as part of what makes the Democrats a ‘party of hate’; fantasizing about watching the snooty Hollywood liberals get angry about McCain, then voting for a failed Republican – and all because he avoids people who are honest about voting Republican and as such had never heard the Republicans saying anything hateful.

    As far as I’m concerned, O’Rourke is the only right-wing comic who is both honest with himself and capable of being funny, not just a rare but a solitary bird in the earth.

    I do take issue with the idea that movementarians can do satire or parody. The entire ideology requires so much willful ignorance that it’s impossible to imagine one of its flacks coming to the understanding of the world or the subject necessary for pointed comedy on purpose. Thus Lickspittle (which evidently requires two authors to suck so bad), rather than actually grasping at the low-hanging branch of Clinton’s antisocial fuck-buddies allowed to enter the running [as has been pointed out elsewhere, the idea of some kind of criminal enterprise at work here is spectacularly dishonest - on problems with his nominees being discovered, Obama's response has been a collegial zip-up until they withdraw and then mea grossa culpa, not trying to force them into the Cabinet with the strategic use of lies and shiny objects], finds himself gripped by the urge to genuflect to two authority figures at once – ridiculous little Limbaugh and ridiculouser little Pournelle. The result is something that thinks it is pointed, carries itself out as if it’s making fun of someone, and then winds up concocting something so surreal and off-tune that a governor tending bar is a setup rather than a punchline.

    Jesus Christ.

  46. Smut Clyde said,

    February 9, 2009 at 13:28

    Was Trudeau trying to be the XXX answer to YYY when he started drawing Doonesbury for a student magazine? Maybe he was drawing a strip that he found funny — with a set of assumptions about politics that wasn’t a message because his readers already shared it with him — and enough other people also found it funny that eventually it grew out of the campus and into syndication. Maybe that’s the difference.

  47. alec said,

    February 9, 2009 at 13:30

    The situations, the characters, the cadence of the dialogue – even the art looks vaguely like early Breathed.

    Breathed had a sense of wonder, didn’t have aesthetic tastes prematurely aged to suit his betters, and had the strength of character to portray a cat shacking up with lettuce instead of a gaucho-looking Bill Richardson turning his nose up at it for not being flashy or French enough.

    I will agree that he’s somehow fucking up crudely aping (by which I mean ‘tarsiering’, because slandering an animal which knows why it’s beating off is unfair) Mallard Fillmore, but please no trodding his mud on Breathed.

  48. Andrew said,

    February 9, 2009 at 13:57

    No colour. No greyscale. Vanishing backgrounds.

    Jokes which depend on a belief in phony facts.

    Comic Sans. Times New Roman.

    Lookin’ good!

  49. Matt said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:05

    Hell, even “Mallard Fillmore” beats out this sad, sad dreck.

    Dear God, I think you might be right. And that’s pretty horrifying.

    (Today’s MF, though, is a keen illustration of the degree to which Tinsley fails to “get it” (where it=basic comprehension).)

    And I really think we need more S,N comic strips! I want to see what happens between Malkin and the yeti. I’ll bet she kills and skins it with her retractable claws.

  50. Stan Lee said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:11

    Hey Kid, I was looking at the strip again and I have to ask, what exactly were Hewitt and Malkin doing at the time of the Nukular accident?

  51. WereBear said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:13

    I find the “Lickspittle” panel here (and what a name. Freud much?) to be an oblique reference to how Republicans destroy economies on purpose.

    Wait, that wasn’t what they were going for?

  52. JoeBuddha said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:18

    Liberals like examples. Conservatives … not so much.

    Actually, Conservatives like ‘em fine, but only when they’re used to TOTALLY disprove some statistic they don’t like. That’s why they go all “what global warming?!?!?!?” when it gets cold out.

  53. R. Porrofatto said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:26

    How come Lickskillet’s governor looks just like corrupt-in-real-life Republican Spiro Agnew? And you gotta like any governor who has extra booze bottles next to the TV.

    Obviously, if it doesn’t get picked up for syndication nationwide it’s only because of the liberal media conspiracy bought and paid for by the Malarkey Family. Next week, “Guess who owns Hollywood!”

  54. Major Kong said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:27

    When conservatives try to do humor it usually just comes across as creepy.

    http://www.therightshirts.com/political/cpshop.cgi

  55. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:49

    Is that really Doughy and the Chumps?

    Or is it: Doughy and the Chundermuffins

  56. Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:55

    M. Bouffant–LOVE the Chick comment. How utterly appropriate.

  57. Jeff R. said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:56

    When someone tries to come up with the conservative Doonesbury, they seem to forget, or probably never even knew, that he frequently takes stabs a Democratic politicians. He was very rough on Jimmy Carter and had a particular dislike of Jerry Brown (even publishing cartoons that were nearly libelous). It’s a long list: Tip O’Neil, Gore, Kennedy, Clinton, even Kerry in his Vietnam Veterans agains the War days.

  58. g said,

    February 9, 2009 at 14:57

    recently it was the conservative answer to “liberal” Hollywood. Now it’s the conservative version of “liberal” cartoons.

    Yes, I remember how well their conservative answer to “The Daily Show” worked out….good times.

  59. Scott said,

    February 9, 2009 at 15:12

    As far as “Lickskillet” goes, I’ve seen better political comedy in “Shoe.”

    As far as “Day by Day,” I prefer my bizarre surrealism when it’s drawn by Bill Griffth.

  60. Some Guy said,

    February 9, 2009 at 15:40

    “ConservativeHQ.com is launching a new daily comic strip that is the conservatives’ answer to political comics like “Doonesbury”

    *blink*

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doonesbury

    Nigh-40 years later, and they THINK they’ve got this situation sussed out. I”m surprised they’re not just going to wait a few more decades for Trudeau to die, then run up, kick is corpse, and shout, “I WIN!”

    Doonesbury is liberal the same way a golf ball is upside-down.

  61. Major Kong said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:04

    And for acidic humor, try reading Ann Coulter

    I find Ann Counter’s humor to be very “acidic”. As in “You’d have to be on acid to find Ann Coulter funny”.

  62. Two Indisputable Facts Truthie Can't Acknowledge said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:11

    The Republicans lost the election.

    Because they deserved to.

  63. El Cid said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:13

    This Lickspittle comic really makes me appreciate the deep and subtle wit of Mallard Fillmore.

  64. Legalize said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:16

    That “comic” strip made me want to run out and purchase an “American Carol” DVD.

  65. Bang goes Truthie's last card said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:19

    From the definitive report on Prop 8 (Egan and Sherrill, p.9):

    As shown in Figure 2, two surveys conducted just before Election Day (by Field and SurveyUSA) found insignificant differences in support for Proposition 8 between African Americans and Californians as a whole. Two surveys conducted in the weeks following Election Day found similar results. On average, the difference in support between African Americans and all voters in these four surveys was just two percentage points. The NEP exit poll finding—that black support for Proposition 8 was 18 points higher than Californians as a whole—is most likely an “outlier,” a result that is very different than what concurrent data trends suggest to be the case.

  66. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:19

    The Republicans lost the election.

    Because they deserved to.

    See Diaper Dave Vitter whine about ACORN, for example.

  67. Bookmark This, Liberals said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:21

    From the definitive report on Prop 8 (Egan and Sherrill, p.9):

    Indeed.

  68. fleinn said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:29

    “because having a perfect president makes it impossible to make fun of Washington,”

    No, it just means we won’t be joking about the death of civilisation, and blinking away tears on the punchline.

  69. mark f said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:30

    And for acidic humor, try reading Ann Coulter.

    John Edwards is a faggot! Haha!

  70. Two Indisputable Facts Poor, Pathetic Troofus Can't Acknowledge said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:32

    Troofus already posted this in another thread.

    Troofus really has trouble letting go.

  71. Woodrowfan said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:32

    Bush Jr. as an invisible guy in a Roman helmet.

    He’s a “point of light.” He drew Bush I as a point of Light, Quayle as a feather, and Clinton as a waffle. Also Newt Gingrich as a cartoon bomb (a bowling ball with a fuse). Doonesbury generally as a liberal perspective, but Trudeau is happy to bash members of both parties.

    What I find amused about Lickspittle (gross name though) is that a party trying NOT to be the party of racist redneck Southern whites is represented by a strip featuring, yep, redneck southern whites. Way to stretch the boundaries guys!

  72. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:35

    LOL to the WALL, loony libs! I gotta tell ya, the Cool Coach loves this new crazy conservative comic! You can pretend to laugh at the elitist ramblings of Doodleberry and Boonplops all you want, but here’s you a real man’s SPREAD of FUNNY! What better way to show how lame Obummer’s Sillytimulus is than to hit it hard with a one-two punch of comic and conservative! Badoodle-boo-yeah!

    Hey, here’s two more Indisputable Facts you loony libs can’t acknowledge! 1) Super Sarah, the Power Palin, lurks just around the corner and 2) The Obummer will be toast in 2012! Urban out.

  73. El Cid said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:35

    I hope they really get wild and radical and have a character named Bal Bore who is fat and who runs around claiming it’s too hot even when it’s cold! Ha! Yuk yuk!!!

  74. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:40

    “The Gentleman from Lickskillet” is the first conservative comic strip to interweave humor and satire with continuing storylines and a large cast of characters.

    So this is a documentary of the conservative movement in America since Buckley started the National Review?

  75. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:40

    1) Super Sarah, the Power Palin, lurks just around the corner

    Molesting kids?

  76. norbizness said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:42

    That one strip has more mysteries than the whole of the Dharma Initiative. Well, at least Muir has several dozen leftish humor sites rooting for him and his continued nonsensical, anatomically implausible strips.

  77. Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:44

    ROFL…someone posted this at LGFWatch: Pam Atlas Lures Robert Spencer to Cougar Den. The video stills he posted are just priceless. Sorry to go off-topic, it’s just a darned funny post and people here are as amused by Pammycakes as I am.

    Major–not really, I can think of plenty of other drugs that would make Coulter seem funny. Still, I wouldn’t waste them to read Coulter.

  78. Speaking of conservative cartoons, here's a Shorter Michael Ramirez: said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:51

    Step 1: Spend five minutes coming up with hacky, overdone, intellectually dishonest quip. Hmm…Al Gore says global warming’s real, but it’s cold outside, so HES A DUMN LIBRAL LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

    Step 2: Spend 23 hours and 55 minutes drawing the background of the cartoon with grave detail.

  79. Jim said,

    February 9, 2009 at 16:54

    Man, somebody get these guys a Twelfth Commandment:
    Thou shalt not take part in, or make, bad art.

  80. Anonymous said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:01

    The Rapacity of Odacity
    By James Lewis
    Just before the election, Barack Obama made fifteen references to “pie” in 100 seconds of a speech — all about dividing up that yummy pie of the American economy. His audience laughed and chanted, “Pie! Pie!” to show how hungry they were. In one fell swoop Obama gave away the rapacity of socialism. In his first weeks of his presidency the world has seen how hungry he really is.

    Mr. Obama doesn’t look like he has an eating problem, but he is hungry, voraciously hungry. Or as Michelle O explained,

    “The truth is, in order to get things like universal health care and a revamped education system, then someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more.”

    Socialism is rapaciously greedy — that’s what endless envy warfare comes down to. The Left likes to preen itself with the word ‘progressive,’ when it is actually the most regressive political strategy in history. The key political move is to seek out the most rapacious people — not hungry for food but power — and use them to mobilize an attack on the productive sector, the milk cows of society. It is the most primitive political strategy ever. It goes back to the Romans and long before. Karl Marx merely reinvented a very old and decrepit wheel.

    That is why everything is grist for the mill of Obama Marxism. Old-time Marxism just pitted the poor against the rich — a compelling sympathy play in the 19th century, with grinding poverty, industrial workers living in little better than slavery, and peasant farmers in Europe who were all but slaves, as in Czarist Russia. Then decades of capitalist vitality provided the goods and services for an unprecedented spread of wealth, so that today Joe the Plumber is an instinctive conservative. Industrial workers became prosperous.

    So the Left needed a new underclass. That is why the Boomer Left had to find new victim groups — women who could be made to envy men, blacks to envy whites, homosexuals to envy heterosexuals, the young against their parents, each ethnic group against the other. The New Marxism plays off any victim group against any perceived winner. In this presidential election, the Democrats pitched it perfectly, setting every manipulable group against its favorite scapegoats, symbolized by President Bush and Veep Dick Cheney.

    That is why today, in his first month in office, President Obama needs to go after executives who earn more than 500 thousand dollars per year. Marxism has become the politics of universal envy and rapacity, as long as there is a victim group hungry enough to be led into battle against the ever-shifting enemy. That is why racial politics has not been left behind by the Democrats; on the contrary. The United States is more racially sliced and diced than it has been since the Dixiecrats lost their power.

    Socialism is rapacious because it has an endless appetite for power. If you doubt it, look at Britain today, where average people — the productive ones — are taxed, constantly bullied by the government-owned BBC, and bribed into voting socialist. Prime Minister Gordon Brown has gone to the logical extreme of demanding that British citizens donate their body parts to the National Health Service when they die — mandatory organ donation, or socialist cannibalism. He calls it ‘presumed consent,” which means that if you’re dead, the government gets to decide who will re-use your mortal remains.

    That is also why the socialist parties in Britain have suicidally imported hundreds of thousands of Pakistani Muslims, and are constantly telling them how welcome they are to import 7th Century Shariah law into the former home of parliaments. Those votes are easy to buy, and jihadi terrorism be damned. Antisemitism is now rife in Britain, whipped up by the radical Left, the BBC, and the Guardian, in alliance with Islamic fascists. It is a shameful loss of decency, no different than any other race baiting politics in human history.

    Odacity is voracious because there’s never enough free pie. It’s the pie supply that grinds to a halt if the bakery is coerced into working without compensation — a condition that used to be called “slavery.” Without suitable incentives, producers can only be forced to work by the threat of punishment. And with full media control, our socialists make sure the baker gets the blame for any sudden pie shortage. We’ve watched it happen with Big Oil, Big Pharma, Big Coal, and on and on — but never with Big Media or Big Government. It’s easy to tell who the demagogues are — their names are never on the hit list. As the bitter old Soviet joke went, “Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man. Socialism is the opposite.” Only the apparatchiks, the new ruling class, wins.

    Our universities have gone that way already. That is why Harvard University dumped President Larry Summers for telling a well-known truth about precocious mathematical talent among boys. Nobody knows exactly why, but the typical genius mathematician is a pimply teenage boy with girl problems. That’s been true for centuries, and most of the time it has been a source of pity or ridicule for those socially isolated boys. Today talented mathematical geniuses of the Wrong Sex are the objects of feminist envy. Almost every Harvard faculty member knows all that, but they kept their heads down when the campus Left went after Larry’s scalp for telling the truth. That’s Politically Correct socialism, and the firing of Larry Summers was designed to chill free speech on all the campuses. It was a power-play, and everybody understood who won. Harvard now has a new set of Feminist Commissars, to make sure that forbidden thoughts are never again spoken in public.

    Our media are going bankrupt because their audiences are going away. Why are they committing suicide? Because they have become one with our Leftist political elites. Media mavens may lose their jobs, but they will become PR people in the Obama administration. The universities are happy to hire them, just as California State University hired Leon Panetta to run its “Institute for Public Policy” on its new campus in the spectacular coastal community of Monterey, California. Today he is our new CIA director, with no visible qualifications in the craft of intelligence.

    Europe is the model for the Left. But one reason that Europe’s elites hate America is that they can no longer keep up their own military defenses. All their taxes go to political payoffs to victim groups and their ruling classes. They have become dependent and hostile, like a drug-addicted teenager. Look at their pitiful answer to Putin’s tank invasion of the little country of Georgia. European socialism has been subsidized by our defense dollars for the last six decades. It’s because they have eaten their seed corn, sacrificed it to the endless voracity of vote buying politics. They can no longer afford a working military; and they do not have the guts to use what they have even to save the lives of people facing genocide in Africa and Europe itself.

    Socialism is rapacious even to the extent of sinking its own ship. Because there’s never enough free pie. The Sick Man of Europe is the result of years of deliberate policy. Its pathetic weaknesses reflects purposeful choices by socialist elites in each country, forcing the military and police to hemorrhage until they became helpless and demoralized.

    So — should the United States be more like Sweden? Sweden played coy even in World War Two — the moral difference between Hitler and Churchill being just too hard for them to figure out. Sweden has profited very nicely from Pax Americana in the last sixty years, but not enough to actually make any contribution to keeping the peace. Sweden is a freeloader — like all of Europe. Without America’s free market and its willingness to be the decent world cop, pacifist Europe would be enslaved by Russia, by Germany, or by any passing mob of throwbacks to the early Middle Ages.

    Which leaves the United States with a voracious Barack Obama and millions of power-hungry followers at the helm for the next four to eight years.

    Interesting times, no?

  81. kiki said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:04

    And for acidic humor, try reading Ann Coulter.

    Is there such a word as ‘flaccidic’?

    Welcome, “Comedy Arbiter”! Always nice to have a brand new poster who’s totally never posted here before under several different names! We really respect your politically unbiased opinion, and we’re sure you’ll give us “The Truth” of the matter as you see it.

  82. mark f said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:04

    Chris Muir apparently changed the name of his strip to Red Ink. Or he runs two strips with different titles but identical content. In this particular strip, he wrongly blames the housing crisis on CRA . . . and blames CRA on Barack Obama. Obama was, what, 20 years old when that passed?

  83. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:06

    Just before the election, Barack Obama made fifteen references to “pie” in 100 seconds of a speech

    Speaking of pie…

  84. D Johnston said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:07

    please no trodding his mud on Breathed.

    Did you think I was making a favorable comparison there? Heaven forbid. I was noting that the cheap knockoff linked above was a knockoff of Bloom County rather than Doonesbury.

    Also, you guys have been getting weird trolls lately. I recognize Truthie from upthread, but who are these other weirdos?

  85. Scott said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:07

    Obama was, what, 20 years old when that passed?

    If he was canny enough to fake his own birth, I’m sure he could create the CRA when he was 20.

  86. OB-GYN Kenobi said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:08

    Huh. Guess that’s their latest response to Boonesdurry. Get in line behind this one.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prickly_City

  87. kiki said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:09

    I recognize Truthie from upthread, but who are these other weirdos?

    They’re Truthie. Dodging the piefilter, pitiful attention-seeking, genuine split personality disorder, or a combination of the three? You decide.

  88. D.N. Nation said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:11

    Um, “Anonymous”:

    The whole I’m-just-gonna-cut-and-paste-James-Lewis schtick has already been done. And not always even by me. HTH.

  89. FlipYrWhig said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:12

    This Lickskillet thing looks like someone trying to turn Tom Tomorrow inside out but getting something more like “Gil Thorpe” set in the world of politics.

  90. Gundamhead said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:13

    What the fuck was that?

  91. Troofius domesticus said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:16

    Liberals are in denial over their own racism. My elderly Jewish neighbor voted for Obama and is afraid of black people.

    So what will it be libs? Will you turn your backs on your precious black special interests? Or will you finally look in the mirror and realize how antisemitic you are?

    Ha! The contradiction will bring the democrat party to its knees and I will laugh and laugh even though they don’t show it on the biased media.

  92. Rusty Shackleford said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:22

    Gah! Atlas side boob.

  93. Cowalker said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:25

    Yetis for Obama

  94. kiki said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:29

    Actually, to be fair to Coulter, I thought this was fuckin’ hilarious:

    http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/08/2009-02-08_celebrity_side_dish_ann_coulter_under_in.html

  95. Legalize said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:29

    Here’s something really funny, Twoofie:

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/02/poll-obama-way-ahead-of-gop-on-stimulus.php

    Seems the public overwhelmingly wants President Barack Hussein Obama (who is black) to tell you wingers to get fucked sideways.

  96. Trillion Dollar Deficits said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:33

    What are you going to do about me?

  97. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:34

    Actually, to be fair to Coulter, I thought this was fuckin’ hilarious:

    Interesting. Coulter calls Borchers a “stalker” for running a website dedicated to her.

  98. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:36

    Seems the public overwhelmingly wants President Barack Hussein Obama (who is black) to tell you wingers to get fucked sideways.

    Meanwhile, Congressional conservatives are about to become as relevant as Lyndon Larouche.

  99. Nobody cares, Truth said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:37

    What are you going to do about me?

    Nobody cares.

  100. The First Day of High School Economics said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:39

    Deficits don’t matter in times of severe recession / depression.

  101. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:41

    Isn’t it odd how conservatives whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine about spending $800 billion on their neighbors, but didn’t blink an eye on spending $800 billion clothing, feeding and housing Iraqis?

  102. Legalize said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:43

    Twoofie, when will you and all wingers apologize for the teflon fraud, Michael Steele?

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/06/AR2009020604151.html?wprss=rss_politics

  103. Rusty Shackleford said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:48

    Is there a limit to the size of one’s killfile? I’m just curious.

  104. Nobody cares, Truth said,

    February 9, 2009 at 17:48

    Deficits don’t matter in times of severe recession / depression.

    Nobody cares.

  105. Marc with a C said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:02

    Ohhh boy…a comic strip which combines the best of Muir’s incomprehensible (at best) “humor” with all the aesthetic appeal of a Jack Chick tract.

    Looks like another winner!

  106. SpotWeld said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:03

    I feel a little sorry for Ralph Hayes Jr. at this point.
    He’s been running about 2/3 online comics with a fairly conservative bent for (I think) a near decade now. (Plus a fourth which is a little more subtle aboutit.)

    And now, just when ther right blogs are looking for some content he gets passed over again.

  107. Dick Cheney said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:09

    Trillion Dollar Deficits said, What are you going to do about me?

    Reagan proved that deficits don’t matter.

  108. ddt said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:10

    As a real “Dan Turner” (seriously, you could look it up), I got an extra frisson out of this post. Actually, those comics are based on some absolutely awful pulp stories from the ’30s, so it’s not all the artist’s fault.

    And Gary Dumm, who’s done great work on Harvey Pekar’s stuff, isn’t a bad artist, not a bad dude.

    So, go buy some of those comics! Time for a Dan Turner resurgence.

  109. El Cid said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:10

    Clearly we have long needed a “Mary Worth” for conservative politics.

  110. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:14

    To be truly like a Jack Chick tract, he’ll have to include a God without a face at some point.

    Or, at least remove the face of some Godlike creature. Like Rush Limbaugh. Which actually would be an improvement.

  111. tigrismus said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:19

    Skillet comic needs more SATAN. And you did NOT just associate Doughy with Mooch…

  112. Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:20

    HAHA!! You know, come to think of it, I know all about Jack Chick from reading but have only read about his comics. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one. I’m still all for removing Rush Limbaugh’s face.

  113. Righteous Bubba said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:25

    Read and be saved.

  114. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:27

    Clearly we have long needed a “Mary Worth” for conservative politics.

    I envisioned it more like Dondi: a little Hispanic kid gets thrown amongst the predatory wolves of Republican politics, protected only by his yappy little dog and various strangers he meets along the way.

  115. Not James Dickey said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:28

    Doughy’s fat pink cheeks make me want to go all “Deliverance” on him. SQUEEEAAALLL

  116. Dr.BDH said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:30

    Why does the governor/bartender look like Spiro Agnew? Is the strip sending secret anti-Republican messages. Who wants to be reminded that their really was a Republican governor who was so corrupt he had to resign from the vice presidency? And that of course brings up Nixon and Watergate and so one.

    And Trudeau started Doonesbury (then called “Bull Tales”) to explore the plight of geeky public school Yale freshmen at a time the campus was still all male. Then he got to delve into coeducation when Yale went coed and then the jackpot: Black Panther trial, war protestors. The characters were almost all based on real Yalies, in Trudeau’s class or a year or two ahead. It was so poorly drawn, it was unbelievable that it got picked up for wider distribution.

  117. t4toby said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:30

    Major–not really, I can think of plenty of other drugs that would make Coulter seem funny. Still, I wouldn’t waste them to read Coulter.

    Bathtub crank with a decidedly yellowish tinge would do just fine.

  118. Mr. Wonderful said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:32

    “You can’t attack hypocrisy if you’re guilty of it yourself.”

    Nice analysis, but not so fast there, BJacques. Of course you can, and they do, all the time. That’s what makes it hypocrisy, you see.

    Nice photo of Malkin. Too bad she’s Satan’s spawn. But then, that’s how he gets ya. Damn you, Lucifer!

  119. Galactic Dustbin said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:46

    I think we have finally found a comic strip that makes Muir look almost talented

  120. The Obama Plan said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:51

    1 ) Spend spend spend to get us into debt

    2) Cause massive hyperinflation to monetize the debt!

  121. LittlePig said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:52

    And Doughy he’s really large,
    He wears size 5x suits,
    hydralic boots,
    the man’s really as big as a barge,
    Do-do-do Doughy and the Chumps….

  122. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:55

    The Grover Norquist Plan said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:51

    1 ) Spend spend spend to get us into debt

    2) Cause massive hyperinflation to monetize the debt!

    Fixed your post for accuracy.

  123. Republican's Brilliant Plan said,

    February 9, 2009 at 18:56

    Obstruct! We win!

    Watch us swirl down the hole!

  124. El Cid said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:04

    The gigantic deficit spending of New Deal / WWII resulted in economic growth so profound and so deep that paying it off was no burden.

    But since Republicans are thieving cowards, they can never conceive of developing a country’s economy beyond the idiotic Republican-imposed limits.

  125. t4toby said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:09

    Random Political Thought:

    I think the Repubs know that we are headed for the mother of all economic disasters and they are opposing this stimulus because they know it is too small to offset the the top-heaviness of the teetering system. So in 2 & 4 years they can claim some sort of victory as the soup lines grow.

  126. Tom said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:15

    So the answer to Doonesbury is to have a comic strip that makes fun of Republicans? OK, but I think they misread what Doonesbury is about.

    How do you invest in state governments? I can’t recall these being available on the New York Stock Exchange. Does he mean buying state bonds? I don’t see how carrying state bonds makes you wealthy from the bailout. I’m really confused. Maybe if they had the abominable snowman in the cartoon it would make more sense.

  127. National Debt said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:18

    “El Cid said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:04

    The gigantic deficit spending of New Deal / WWII resulted in economic growth so profound and so deep that paying it off was no burden.”

    I’m much bigger now.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c6/Debt_to_GDP_Forecast_Chart.png

  128. National Debt said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:19

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c6/Debt_to_GDP_Forecast_Chart. png

    “The gigantic deficit spending of New Deal / WWII resulted in economic growth so profound and so deep that paying it off was no burden.”

    I’m much bigger now. And will only continue to grow and grow with the Democrat plan.

  129. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:21

    How do you invest in state governments? I can’t recall these being available on the New York Stock Exchange. Does he mean buying state bonds? I don’t see how carrying state bonds makes you wealthy from the bailout. I’m really confused.

    Okay, investing may not be the correct term. Try buying a state senator or, for those less fortunate but hopeful types, renting a state rep

  130. John D. said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:22

    So did the Yeti hatch Malkin from an egg? That’s where Li’l Lulu originally came from?

    “He’s a “point of light.” He drew Bush I as a point of Light, Quayle as a feather, and Clinton as a waffle. Also Newt Gingrich as a cartoon bomb (a bowling ball with a fuse). Doonesbury generally as a liberal perspective, but Trudeau is happy to bash members of both parties.”

    It’s even more than Trudeau being an ‘equal opportunity basher’. I haven’t read Doonesbury on a regular basis for some years now, but back when I did, there were essentially two kinds of storylines in the strip: The ones featuring the political world of Washington and the media (with Clinton as a Waffle, Bush Sr. as an invisible non-entity, et al) , and the ones featuring the regular cast of characters (Mike, B.D. Boopsie, etc.) that was more like a soap opera, albeit a humorous one. The regular cast were composed of a very large and diverse group, with many conservative characters included. And Trudeau always treated the latter with at least some sympathy, never denying them their basic humanity.

    On that level, Doonesbury has never been the kind of crude propaganda that the right keeps claiming it is…and that out-and-out shit like Mallard Fillmore actually is. The fact that Trudeau bashes Democrats and Rethugs alike should have put an end to that particular lie years ago…

  131. Tom said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:23

    I just ran through the entire list of comics and couldn’t find a single one that was anti-Democrats or funny. Since the supposed purpose of the strip was to be the answer to Doonesbury shouldn’t it be both? Or did their thinking go like this: “Doonesbury is funny and intelligent so we will stupid and not funny at all.”

  132. handy said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:25

    Actually, to be fair to Coulter, I thought this was fuckin’ hilarious:

    Dynomite!

  133. John D. said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:26

    As for Lickspittle:

    Anyone remember the Tom Tomorrow cartoon from some years back, in which Tom fantasized about the strip being adapted into a watered-down Hollywood sitcom? Sparky the Wonder Penguin (played by Gary Coleman) had this line: “You know what, Tom? I think politicians say things they don’t really mean…just to get elected!!”

  134. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:36

    Shocking. Allegations of Sexual Misconduct By Another New Life Pastor. Ted Haggard, the gift that keeps on giving.

    [...] information on ten more cases of sexual misconduct on the part of Ted Haggard and that three of these involve minors. He also said that New Life Church had suppressed from the media an earlier case of a pastor at the church (which has many pastors under the senior pastor) who was convicted of sexual assault against a child under the age of 15[...]

  135. Muffy said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:37

    Yesterday at brunch, the waiter brought canned pineapple instead of fresh so we had him fired. Biff said, “That’s the joy of the free market!” Oh how we laughed and laughed.

  136. Till said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:38

    I know all about Jack Chick from reading but have only read about his comics. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one.

    What?! They’re brilliant unintentional satire. Deep insight into the true believers in fundamentalist Protestant Christianity. And fucking hilarious.

  137. jim said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:42

    Golly, just what the world needed now – a cartoon sequel to HALF-HOUR NEWS-HOUR! Now with less laugh-track!

    Calling this thing an “answer to Doonesbury” both ignores how dated Doonesbury is as a cultural watermark & assumes it is a question that needs such a cataleptic pool of steaming babyshit for an “answer” in the first place.

    Wow, dude – you improved DBD! Hmm, not exactly a labor of Hercules to pull off, methinks. Talk about botchmongers … damn, who knew that few panels could drag that long. Hey now, I thought these folks were ANTI-abortion!

    The weakest threads I’ve read here smoke this “humor” like a blunt with just as much ease. There’s the rub: if by the fickle finger of fate you lack Le Gift Du Lulz, your effort to obtain it can just as easily prevent it, in direct proportion to your level of exertion – unfair but real. These comics gobble down on some epic turd due to trying much too hard … combined with a chronic case of in-joke neural-incest. Have to logically suspect a sub-rosa commission landing in these goobers’ wallets from someone/s with a truly diseased & feeble funny-bone. Why, my friends, it’d be downright irresponsible NOT to guesstimate!

    Muir’s characters at least LOOK sort of funny, albeit more WTF-funny than har-de-har-har-funny. That other thing is just full-bore homely as fuck.

  138. jim said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:50

    So did the Yeti hatch Malkin from an egg?

    I enjoy your thesis & would be honored to subscribe to your newsletter!

  139. Jacob Singer said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:51

    I love that all of a sudden conservatives say they give a shit about deficit spending.

  140. Bookblart this, liberals said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:54

    Here is how it will go down next Blart. First, the Blarts from Blart and North Blart will come in, and they’ll be declared for Blart. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big Blart, Blart can’t come overnight” will be your Blart. Blart will go Blart, and a little Blart will creep in. The usual Blarts will fall into the usual Blarts. As the Blart drags on, Blart, Blart, and (much to your Blart) Blart will be too close to call.

    My Blart at this Blart to you will be to go to Blart. You will wake up to a McCain Blart and the Great Liberal Blart will be on.

    Bookmark this, Blarts, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the Blart I was able to call Blart.

  141. The Truth's Electoral Stratuhgy For 2012 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:54

    Um, durrrrrrrrr

  142. Jimmy Carter said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:56

    I promised hope and change, too!

  143. Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:57

    So did we! What’s your point, Jimmy?

  144. Two Indisputable Facts Poor, Pathetic Troofus Can't Acknowledge said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:59

    Obama won.

    Troofus lost.

    (Badly.)

  145. mark f said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:00

    What?! They’re brilliant unintentional satire. Deep insight into the true believers in fundamentalist Protestant Christianity.

    When I lived in a neighborhood heavily populated with Orthodox Jews, someone came by my house and left me a Jack Chick comic about Moses and the Exodus. The best line was something like “Imagine poor Moses . . . stuck in the desert with 3 million complaining Jews.” Sadly, I can’t find that on http://www.chick.com

  146. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:01

    I hate Cokie (Hawaiii is too exotic for Americans) Roberts. I mean that. This morning on NPR she gave her “analysis” of the stimulus bill goings-on and said “the republicans are sticking to their small government principles.”

    She did not say “insist on paying lip service to..” which would have been more accurate. She didn’t even say “seem to have rediscovered their….” which would have had some measure of truth and analysis about it.

    Is Cokie Roberts Chris Muir in drag?

  147. handy said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:04

    Her name is Cokie. Let’s just start right there.

  148. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:10

    The best line was something like “Imagine poor Moses . . . stuck in the desert with 3 million complaining Jews.” Sadly, I can’t find that on http://www.chick.com

    Heh, that must have gone the way of Crayola’s “Indian Red”.

    I used to find Chick tracts all the time in the men’s room of the library where I studied as an undergrad. I always thought that that was a clever place for the fundies to leave them, in a place where people might be inclined to read anything within reach and/or need TP.

  149. Another Kiwi said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:13

    Better than Coke-head, I s’pose.

  150. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:15

    I don’t remember ever seeing the “Prickly City” strip before, although it’s been awhile since I was a regular newspaper reader. Love this, though:

    The Chicago Tribune refused to run the February 7, 2005 strip, which inaccurately quoted Ted Kennedy. According to Stantis, the syndicate erroneously added quote marks to the dialogue without his permission.[2] Later that year The Seattle Times refused to run a series of strips about the Terri Schiavo case.[3] More recently, a series of strips beginning August 25th accuse the attendees of the 2008 Democratic National Convention of being communists.

    Har har har! Those conservatives are so fucking FUNNY!

  151. Cpl. Cam said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:23

    Smut Clyde said,

    February 9, 2009 at 9:25

    Above: If nobody appreciates the complexity of this gag, it will still have been worth it.
    “Damnit, now I’m trying to remember the details of the long-running Heavy Metal strip you’re parodying there.”

    I can’t see the entire strip as part of it is cut off by the side bar on my screen but if that last panel really does depict Malkin getting railed by a Yeti as it appears is the case then it’s gotta be parodying “Druuna”

  152. John D. said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:26

    “Imagine poor Moses . . . stuck in the desert with 3 million complaining Jews.”

    Didn’t Mel Brooks make that as a film?

  153. Righteous Bubba said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:30

    “3 million complaining Jews”

  154. D.N. Nation said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:32

    You know, these konservative kartoonz really don’t hide that ages-old rhetorical trick…

    Lickskillet: Biracial girl decries how dumb liberals are
    Mallard Fillmore: Korean-American decries how dumb liberals are
    Day by Day- African-American decries how dumb liberals are
    Glenn McCoy- MLK and Abraham Lincoln decry from heaven how dumb liberals are
    Glenn’s astonishingly less talented brother, Gary- Ditto
    Mike Lester- Ditto
    etc., etc.

    Nice try and all, fellas, but c’mon.

  155. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:35

    You know, these krazee konservative kartoonz really don’t hide that ages-old rhetorical trick…

    Fixed your post

  156. tigrismus said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:38

    Re: “Sin Busters” and punishing blasphemers by stoning, what was the punishment for makers of graven images? I’d think the “no liar shall enter heaven” one would vex them, too, but apparently these things only apply to others.

  157. WereBear said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:39

    Long ago, one of the first things on my website was a Guide to Chick Tracts. One cannot grow up in the South without encountering them quite often.

    I think the brilliant minds behind these comic strips misread Mel Brook’s famous quote about what comedy is: “I get a hangnail, I go to Mount Sinai [Hospital]; that’s tragedy. You slip on a banana peel, fall in the sewer, and die; that’s comedy.”

  158. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:42

    Righteous Bubba said,
    February 9, 2009 at 20:30

    “3 million complaining Jews”

    Funny, the Moses in that one doesn’t look very Jewish. In fact, he looks kinda like… Charlton Heston. Damn those Hollywood liberals!

  159. Righteous Bubba said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:44

    I have that Brooks quote as

    Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

  160. WereBear said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:48

    Yer probably right, Righteous Bubba. I learned it from his 2000 Year Old Man record, I think? He may have stretched it on there.

  161. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:49

    Jacob Singer said,

    February 9, 2009 at 19:51

    I love that all of a sudden conservatives say they give a shit about deficit spending.

    It’s the other bookend to go along with forgetting all about the importance of governmental oversight back in January, 2001.

  162. Righteous Bubba said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:49

    I haven’t looked it up or anything and I never owned the 2000-Year Old Man stuff. Seem to remember some animation of that though…

  163. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:50

    It’s the other bookend to go along with forgetting all about the importance of governmental oversight back in January, 2001.

    And then there’s the centerpiece, the Unitary Executive Theory.

  164. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:55

    Bush: the Urinary Executive.

  165. mark f said,

    February 9, 2009 at 20:57

    “3 million complaining Jews”

    That’s exactly the one, thanks! I’d forgotten that it was even more crazy, what with the cops beating someone senseless for posting the Ten Commandments.

    It was on my refrigerator for a long time, but it didn’t move when I did. I might’ve left it there for the next tenants to enjoy.

  166. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:01

    Interesting how many commenters have misread “lickskillet” as “lickspittle.” Not a good sign for the comic.

  167. WereBear said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:02

    Speaking of enjoy, this is my favorite Chick Tract satire.

  168. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:15

    Awesome, WearBear.

  169. El Cid said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:17

    Interesting how many commenters have misread “lickskillet” as “lickspittle.” Not a good sign for the comic.

    FYI, I didn’t misread it. I think “Lickspittle” is more accurate, though “Lickshittle” is more accurate still.

  170. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:21

    That’s even better satire than The Watchtower!

    Huh? Oh.

  171. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:23

    FYI, I didn’t misread it. I think “Lickspittle” is more accurate, though “Lickshittle” “LickShitBox” is more accurate still.

    Corrected.

  172. jim said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:26

    Conservatives have truly suffered for their art -& now it’s our turn!

  173. El Cid said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:28

    H/T Oliver Willis:

    Pajama’s Media had this up, and then seemed to get trimmed down for some reason.

    Stimulus Bill or Reparations Bill?

    Arnold Kling

    I think that President Obama set the bar ridiculously low when he said that 75 percent of the stimulus should kick in within by the end of 2010, but the House bill did not even get over that bar. Why is the stimulus bill so filled with non-stimulus while it omits real stimulus measures, such as cutting payroll taxes?

    I think the answer is that it is a reparations bill, not a stimulus bill. People who pay income taxes tend to vote Republican. People who live off taxes tend to vote Democratic. To the Democrats, the Bush tax cuts were a heinous evil, comparable to Germany’s violation of Belgian neutrality in World War I. Now, they are demanding reparations, with hundreds of billions of dollars to be paid into teachers unions and other members of the coalition that won the election.

    Most of the bill makes no sense from a stimulus perspective. But all of it makes sense from a reparations perspective.

    [UPDATE: comments have been turned off. Apparently, some other blogger decided that my reference to "reparations" was a reference to reparations from slavery and hence a reference to the color of President Obama's skin. That had not occurred to me. I really was thinking about the Treaty of Versailles. But the comments were getting ugly.]

    ‘And also, that post about “Barack Obama: 21st Century President, or Black A** N*****” was completely about a play I once saw by this guy, or something I forget, god but the PC lib’s are so oppressive.

  174. Rusty Shackleford said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:30

    Teachers don’t pay taxes?

  175. Conservative Observer said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:35

    Why does it always come back to race for liberals?

  176. Conservative Observer said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:36

    “Teachers don’t pay taxes?”

    They don’t pay as much in as their protectionist unions suck up.

  177. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:37

    People who pay income taxes tend to vote Republican. People who live off taxes tend to vote Democratic.

    Is this true anywhere outside the Wingnut Articles of Faith™? I’d like to see the stats to back it up.

    On a state-by-state level, it’s certainly not true.

  178. mark f said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:39

    “Teachers don’t pay taxes?”

    They don’t pay as much in as their protectionist unions suck up.

    That makes perfect sense to most of us. Evidently you have one of those jobs where the tax rate is 100%.

  179. SomeNYGuy said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:39

    jim said,
    February 9, 2009 at 21:26

    Conservatives have truly suffered for their art -& now it’s our turn!

    DO NOT HESITATE to follow Jim’s link — and keep scrolling; the hilarity just keeps getting hilariouser. Utterly brilliant (and masterfully deadpan) satire. If I weren’t one of the hundreds of thousands of American taxpayers laid off in the last couple of months I’d whip out my Mastercard and order immediately.

  180. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:42

    No, it’s not true. It’s whingnut mantra, make an assertion based on zero facts.

    Somebody posted the link earlier, I can’t be bothered to find it but I think it’s fuckthesouth.com.

  181. Righteous Bubba said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:44

    “percentage of military” Percentage of vote” obama

    I believe there remains a Republican trend in those suckers of the government teat in the military.

  182. Righteous Bubba said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:46

    My skillz fail. Sposed to blockquote Gilchrist.

  183. Malfuntioning Republican Stimulus Package said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:53

    Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Or maybe tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! How about some tax cuts? Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! Tax cuts! If that doesn’t work, we’ll try tax cuts!

  184. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:05

    FYI, I didn’t misread it. I think “Lickspittle” is more accurate, though “Lickshittle” “LickShitBox” “TongueJackMyShitbox” is more accurate still.

    Better.

  185. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:06

    Arggghh. So much for my mad HTML skillz.

  186. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:06

    Obama won California, which means there were more Obama voters than McCain voters. Proposition Eight also passed, which means there were more Pro voters than Con voters.

    Right.

    So this means McCain voters, even if all of them voted Pro, could not have passed Prop Eight by themselves. Some Obama voters must have joined them and voted Pro.

    You’re assuming that everyone who voted voted both for a presidential candidate and on Prop Hate. Prove that, then we’ll talk about the rest.

    So the question is: how does your race-baiting qualify you as a Comedy Arbiter, or indeed as anything other than Piefilter contents?

  187. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:08

    To Comedy Arbiter, or The Truth, or whatever the fuck:

    OK, you don’t like black people. We get it. And you know what?

    WE DON’T FUCKING CARE.

  188. handy said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:10

    WE DON’T FUCKING CARE.

    What Bitter said.

  189. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:11

    WE DON’T FUCKING CARE.

    What Bitter said.

    Ditto

  190. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:12

    WE DON’T FUCKING CARE.

    That’s what I was trying to say. Sorry for feeding it.

  191. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:12

    Could Obama have been elected without a massive GOTV effort in California

    Yes. This has been another edition of simple answers to really, really stupid and clueless questions.

  192. Shorter Troofie said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:13

    So the question is: how does your race-baiting qualify you as a Comedy Arbiter

    Because shut up, is why!

  193. Galactic Dustbin said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:13

    I think the answer is that it is a reparations bill, not a stimulus bill. People who pay income taxes tend to vote Republican. People who live off taxes tend to vote Democratic. To the Democrats, the Bush tax cuts were a heinous evil, comparable to Germany’s violation of Belgian neutrality in World War I. Now, they are demanding reparations, with hundreds of billions of dollars to be paid into teachers unions and other members of the coalition that won the election.

    if that was the case would’nt the blue/red ratio on the map be flipped? Alaska gets the most government handouts, so by using this guy’s arguements, the state should be hippy haven where ATVs and firearms are illegal, and gay marriage/abortion/jazz bars are on every street corner.

  194. Anonymous said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:15

    “Obama won California” ….

    And Indiana. And North Carolina. And Colorado. And Nevada. And Iowa. And New Hampshire. And Ohio. And Florida. Oh, wait, there’s more insight from Twoofie, who predicted that Obama would win appoximately none of those states. Nevertheless, I bet he has something very interesting and credible to say:

    …. “which means there were more Obama voters than McCain voters.”

    Sound reasoning.

    “Proposition Eight also passed, which means there were more Pro voters than Con voters.”

    So far, so good.

    “So this means McCain voters, even if all of them voted Pro, could not have passed Prop Eight by themselves. Some Obama voters must have joined them and voted Pro.”

    Ah, it falls apart. No, shit-stain. It is not at all necessary that some Obama voters “must” have voted for prop 8 because it is entirely possible and likely that folks who voted for Obama, DID NOT VOTE AT ALL ON PROP 8.

    But you know that, which makes you a race-baiting cunt.

    Or you don’t, which makes you a pig-ignorant cunt.

    Either way, you’re still a cunt.

  195. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:17

    Five years from now, the conventional wisdom will be that the passing of Proposition 8 in California was the last gasp of anti-gay bigotry in the US of A.

  196. The Goddamn Batman Has Been Portrayed By Some Of The Finest Cartoonists In History, And These Chumps Can't Even Match What Said Cartoonists Would Leave On Their Charmin said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:19

    I’d call their style wooden, only that would be an insult to the likes of Albrecht Dürer.

  197. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:19

    the state should be hippy haven where ATVs and firearms are illegal, and gay marriage/abortion/jazz bars are on every street corner.

    I tried opening up one of those bars back when I lived in Taxachusetts. It did pretty well for a while, but people complained that the screaming of the babies as they were being aborted ruined the jazz, so they stopped showing up.

    I think I was just ahead of my time.

  198. Shorter Troofie said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:21

    It did pretty well for a while, but people complained that the screaming of the babies as they were being aborted ruined the jazz, so they stopped showing up.

    You should have turned up the Gloria Gaynor music.

  199. Teh Fail said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:21

    Well, of course I am … you know. You liberals do seem to have attracted some other fans, but my posts are pretty easy to pick out.

    blahblahblahblahBLAH

    Now here is the question that is really going to get you: Could Obama have been elected without a massive GOTV effort in California, and if so, would that have prevented Prop Eight from being passed?

    Good luck, liberals, I know you will fail here.

    It’s impossible to fail on a question that nobody cares about.

  200. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:22

    You should have turned up the Gloria Gaynor music.

    We tried that, but then (even through our padded walls and everything) the noise violated local ordinances. What irony that that regulation, which we liberals had so applauded, helped to destroy our business!

  201. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:24

    What irony that that regulation, which we liberals had so applauded, helped to destroy our business!

    Could have been worse. We could have been for taking the teeth out of SEC enforcement.

  202. Duros62 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:24

    Needs more Chappaquiddick.

    Hell, needs more boobies and scantily clad womens.

    I’m thinking the set pieces were cribbed from some clip-art CD.

  203. D.N. Nation said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:25

    Ditto what Bitter said, of course, but I couldn’t let this one pass…

    Conservative Observer said,

    February 9, 2009 at 21:35

    Why does it always come back to race for liberals?

    This coming from a troll entirely obsessed with race.

    And you’re still talking about Prop 8, as if you won something somehow. Seriously, dude. Take it outside. Or at least back over to Confederate Yankee, who has seen the number of posts-per-rant dwindle to virtually nothing.

  204. Gee, where have we heard this before...? said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:28

    Troofus:

    Good luck, liberals, I know you will fail here.

    Troofus:

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

    Shorter Troofus:

    Stop hitting myself! Stop hitting myself! Stop hitting myself! Stop hitting myself! Stop hitting myself! Stop hitting myself! Stop hitting myself! Stop hitting myself!

  205. Galactic Dustbin said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:28

    The other cool thing about blue alaska would be Sarah Palin. Now she would spend her weekends tending to sick wolves and piloting zodiacs for Greenpeace with her life partner Judy.

  206. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:28

    Sure, they vote Democrat, but they are also socially conservative.

    Who is “they”, Troofie?

  207. pat said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:29

    This painting of Republican Deep Thinker and Impromptu Party Spokesmodel: Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, AKA “Joe The Plumber” On Black Velvet is an authentic Mexican Black Velvet Painting from “The American Tabloid Heroes Collection ~ Modern American Media Martyrstm on Black Velvet”, a Limited-Edition series of museum-quality Tijuana black velvet paintings which was produced exclusively for The Patriot Portrait Collectiblestm by Indignico Inc.

    This particular black velvet painting was hand-painted in Tijuana, Mexico in 2008 by the professional Mexican velvet Elvis artist “ARGO.” It is called: “Joe The Plumber On Black Velvet” (Modern American Media Martyrtm #274/1000).

    Oh. My. Dear. God. “museum-quality Tijuana black velvet paintings.” Indeed. Seems to indicate a profound misunderstanding of the words “museum” and “quality.” Also “Republican Deep Thinker.”

    What a hoot. Even funnier when you think that in some rancid trailer, in some broken down trailer park, someone is fishing through all his pockets and under the sofa cushions to come up with the $250 that will allow him to become the proud owner of this valued art work. Really.

  208. The Truthepticon said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:32

    Now here is a question I’d like to see liberals actually answer. Ad hominems and vicious attacks are welcome as long as you address the issue.

    Obama won California, which means there were more Obama voters than McCain voters. Proposition Two also passed, which means there were more Pro voters than Con voters.

    So this means McCain voters, even if all of them voted Pro, could not have passed Prop Two by themselves. Some Obama voters must have joined them and voted Pro.

    With me so far? I know many of you work* in academia, but this should be simple enough even for you to follow.

    Take the reverse. If every or even most Obama voters had voted no, Prop Two would not have passed. Can you see this liberals?

    So the question is “Which Obama voters also voted Yes on Proposition Two?” Hell, I know you know the answer to this question, I just enjoy watching you squirm trying to avoid it.

    Now here is the question that is really going to get you: Could Obama have been elected without a massive GOTV effort in California, and if so, would that have prevented Prop Two from being passed?

    Good luck, liberals, I know you will fail here.

  209. Southern Beale said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:34

    I’m confused, are these cartoons supposed to be funny or tragic?

    I don’t understand conservatives but it does appear that they lack a sense of humor. I guess these will go the way of the conservatives’ answer to The Daily Show: FAIL.

  210. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:35

    but people complained that the screaming of the babies as they were being aborted ruined the jazz, so they stopped showing up.

    works better with a techno beat.

  211. D.N. Nation said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:36

    Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart

  212. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:36

    Oh. My. Dear. God. “museum-quality Tijuana black velvet paintings.”

    That has to be a spoof.

    Peddling overtly Mexican products to conservatives? I think not.

  213. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:39

    …And that, my friends, is just the sort of patriotic product and pedal-to-the-metal All-American promotional zeal you can expect from the fine folks and patriotic Corporate-American executives of Indignico Inc., an All-American American company that can be counted on to do absolutely whatever it takes to smuggle, over the border and into your lives, just a little bit more All-American American Quality…

    Seriously, Indignico? This has to be the retail arm of Ed Anger Industries.

  214. Smut Clyde said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:41

    works better with a techno beat.
    You young people need to listen to more Diamanda Galas.

  215. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:42

    Now, now. We should be grateful for the troll fbecause it reminds us that the war isn’t over. Indeed, we lost some battles very recently. We all know which way the wind is blowing but it’s good to be reminded that the League of Idjits is only wounded.

    So thanks, troll – we must keep our focus and never gve up until you’re finally extinct.

  216. pat said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:43

    No, sadly, it is not a spoof. Go back a few comments and click on the one about conservative art.

    At least it looks genuine. Maybe these conservatives do have a sense of humor, after all.

  217. tigrismus said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:44

    I tried opening up one of those bars back when I lived in Taxachusetts. It did pretty well for a while, but people complained that the screaming of the babies as they were being aborted ruined the jazz, so they stopped showing up.

    Should’ve made it clear it was a jazz-classical fusion joint; you know, “Third Scream”.

  218. chocolatepie said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:45

    Heh heh, Lick skillet.

    That has GOT to become a euphemism for something with saddlebacking and shitbox tonguejacking.

  219. tigrismus said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:46

    Seems to indicate a profound misunderstanding of the words “museum” and “quality.”

    Someone needs to visit MOBA.

  220. commie atheist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:54

    Um, have you looked at the demographic wave breaking over us?

    Why yes, I have:

    Still, the long term trends are all pointing towards gay marriage. A 1996 Gallup poll found that 68 percent of Americans opposed gay marriage, while a mere 27 percent supported it. In August, a Times-Mirror poll found Americans in a dead heat on gay marriage, at 47 percent. A majority, 58 percent, opposed an amendment to the U.S. Constitution to ban gay marriage.

    These demographic numbers also appear to mirror a far simpler analysis – comparing Prop. 8 in 2008 to Prop. 22. The latter, a non-constitutional measure to limit marriage to “one man and one woman,” passed with 61.4 percent of the vote in March 2000, compared to Prop. 8’s 52.3 percent. In other words, the anti-gay marriage side lost 9.1 points over a period of eight years and eight months. This loss of just over a point a year, extended between 2008 and 2010, would drive the anti-gay marriage side’s percentage down to the brink of 50.

    While many people in the African – American community have challenged the idea that there is a connection between gay rights and racial civil rights, there is an odd parallel that jumps out–that attitudes on interracial marriage have also generally changed at a rate of about a point per year.

    According to the group Religious Tolerance, 90 percent of Americans disapproved of interracial marriage when it was first legalized by the California Supreme Court in 1948. Nineteen years later, when the U.S. Supreme Court legalized the practice, 72 percent of Americans still disapproved. The magical 50 percent threshold wasn’t crossed until 1991-a change of 50 percentage points in 53 years. Coincidentally, people born in 1991 start voting next year.

    http://www.capitolweekly.net/article.php?_adctlid=v%7Cjq2q43wvsl855o%7Cxm3sknqcdr93zb&issueId=xm3ct78awlt3q7&xid=xm3eayd01297pi

  221. The Truthepticon said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:56

    You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals! You liberals. Jena Six. Kid with heart problems. Prop 8. GOTV. Ad hominem. Bookmark this, liberals!

  222. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 22:57

    Alec, I don’t know about O’Rourke’s ability to be honest with himself. His best work was decades ago at National Lampoon. I’ll give him props on his new comeback film though.

  223. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:00

    PJ O’Rourke is still alive?

  224. SomeNYGuy said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:03

    PJ O’Rourke is still alive?

    Technically, yes. We’re talking about the body, not the soul.

  225. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:03

    PJ O’Rourke is still alive?

    That was my reaction, too.

  226. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:06

    PJ O’Rourke is still alive?

    There is no God.

  227. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:10

    PJ O’Rourke is still alive?

    The saying is “Only the good die young.” It makes no mention of the galactically crappy.

  228. Jim/The Velvet Blog said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:12

    P.J. O’Rourke is a regular on NPR’s “Wait, Wait … Don’t Tell Me,” which is sometimes, if not always, funny. Can’t remember off the top of my head, though, any time he’s particularly made me laugh. Smile, yes. But not laugh.

  229. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:12

    The saying is “Only the good die young.” It makes no mention of the galactically crappy.

    Heh. I just went and looked up O’Rourke’s date of birth, and he’s quite a bit younger than I expected, born in 1947.

    I don’t actually know his work all that well – or maybe I know it but don’t know it’s his. Mainly what his name means to me is “token funny conservative whose name comes up as the exception when people discuss how unfunny conservatives are.”

  230. Till said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:13

    He’s been on Wait Wait once or twice recently. He’s moderately funny and not too annoying, which is more than you can say for a lot of comedians.

  231. J— said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:17

    Today I visited the Black Velvet Paintings store at eBay. I like the selection of Republicans, but I really like the Lynndie England portrait.

  232. Righteous Bubba said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:17

    I think O’Rourke is one of those dangerous right-wingers who acknowledges what a bunch of fucking fools the Republicans are.

  233. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:21

    …who acknowledges what a bunch of fucking fools tools the Republicans are.

    fixed.

  234. WereBear said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:22

    O’Rourke’s smile bothers me, and he’s one of those people; you know, the ones who wear bowties, and shouldn’t.

    I understand that bowties were invented by engineers as a way to have a tie which would not pull your face into a high speed turbine. The right guy wearing one can make my geeky heart go pitter pat.

    O’Rourke, on the other hand, should stick to radio.

  235. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:23

    Actually, O’Rourke HAS actually done something funny in the past year!

    O’Rourke revealed on September 28, 2008 that he has been diagnosed with treatable anal cancer

  236. owlbear1 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:23

    Republicans on Black Velvet?

    George,
    Condi,
    Rummy,
    and Dick.

    ALL on Black Velvet.

    Ya know folks, I can’t help but think The Singularity has arrived…

  237. D.N. Nation said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:23

    w/r/t O’Rourke, Holidays in Hell is very funny.

  238. owlbear1 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:24

    Oh Fuck, Rove too!

    yep, yep , yep

  239. laym said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:25

    O’Rourke shows up on the Maher HBO show sometimes. He has the ability to laugh at himself and his party, which is … something. He also has a habit of laughing harder at his own jokes than anyone else is.

    I’m not a fan, but he does not come from that wingnut world of Muir and the like. If that’s something for which to give him “credit.”

  240. actor212 said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:32

    Republicans on Black Velvet?

    Ah, the “Dogs Playing Poker” collection…

  241. Smut Clyde said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:33

    I’m sure that someone has already written a Moody Blues parody, but my Google-fu is too weak.

  242. PeeJ said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:40

    huh.

    Results 1 – 8 of 8 for “nights in black velvet”.

    Your search – “nights in black velvet” moody – did not match any documents.

    How can the world possibly continue turning with such a parody? Better get to work, someone.

  243. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:42

    Mainly what his name means to me is “token funny conservative whose name comes up as the exception when people discuss how unfunny conservatives are.”

    That’s pretty much on the money. The difference is, he was a professional comedian (editor of the old National Lampoon) before getting into politics. Some of the NRO stick-up-the-butt crowd see him as a lightweight, which I suppose he is, but considering the alternative, that’s kind of refreshing.

    He and James Lileks are the only conservatives I ever thought were funny. (You can have Christopher Buckley, Obama endorsement or not.) And it’s telling that Lileks’ humor, unlike O’Rourke’s, is completely apolitical.

  244. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:46

    He and James Lileks are the only conservatives I ever thought were funny. (You can have Christopher Buckley, Obama endorsement or not.) And it’s telling that Lileks’ humor, unlike O’Rourke’s, is completely apolitical.

    I like Lileks’ non-political stuff, too. I think Mike Nelson of MST3K is capable of being funny – but again, when it’s non-political.

    I had never heard of Christopher Buckley until his Obama endorsement, and that essay was thoroughly off-putting patrician mush, IMO.

  245. Smut Clyde said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:48

    Should be “Shites on Black Velvet”, but otherwise I have nothing to contribute to the lyrics.

  246. Another kiwi said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:51

    Surely the winner isThe Cynical Cigar-Smoking Gambling Mexican Monkey from Tijuana Playing Poker on Black Velvet”
    Heh heh teh monkey is smokin’

  247. t4toby said,

    February 9, 2009 at 23:52

    Man, that Velvet Samuel Joe the Plumber War Correspondent is awesome.

    Awesomely Awful!

  248. commie atheist said,

    February 10, 2009 at 0:03

    Jon Benet Ramsey was a Republican? Who knew?

  249. J— said,

    February 10, 2009 at 0:23

    I don’t know. For me, it’s hard to beat Devil on the Can.

  250. J— said,

    February 10, 2009 at 0:30

    Oh, shit! It’s The Jesus.

  251. Rusty Shackleford said,

    February 10, 2009 at 1:02

    Devil on the Can’s get them ol’ Constipation Blues.

  252. OB-GYN Kenobi said,

    February 10, 2009 at 1:29

    So this means McCain voters, even if all of them voted Pro, could not have passed Prop Two by themselves. Some Obama voters must have joined them and voted Pro.

    Not necessarily. Depends on how many of the McCain voters and Obama voters actually voted on Prop 8. Are you at all familiar with the concept of undervoting? I thought not.

    Take the reverse. If every or even most Obama voters had voted no, Prop Two would not have passed. Can you see this liberals?

    Shrug. You really don’t understand statistics, do you? You’ve got at least three statistical fallacies going on here.

    Biased sampling (presuming that app Presidential voters also voted on Prop 8) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biased_sample

    False Causality (Prop 8 passed, ergo some Obama voters must have voted for it) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correlation_does_not_imply_causality

    Dredging/Overfitting(post hoc ergo propter hoc reasoning)
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Data_dredging

    Read these, then get back to us.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statistical_literacy
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Lie_with_Statistics

  253. J— said,

    February 10, 2009 at 2:24

    Screaming Jay Hawkins: Genius or Fucking Genius?

  254. MzNicky said,

    February 10, 2009 at 3:48

    Actually, O’Rourke HAS actually done something funny in the past year! / O’Rourke revealed on September 28, 2008 that he has been diagnosed with treatable anal cancer

    Huh. I guess I don’t get it. Cancer is funny?

  255. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 10, 2009 at 3:48

    Liberal comedians and cartoonists have expressed great anguish at the rise of Barack Obama to the presidency, because having a perfect president makes it impossible to make fun of Washington,” says Richard Viguerie

    Indeed

    The “Giggle Time All-Mo” bit is to funny forever.

  256. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    February 10, 2009 at 3:53

    Huh. I guess I don’t get it. Cancer is funny?

    I don’t think so, personally, but for a while there one of the newspaper funnies was about little else. Hence the parody.

  257. jim said,

    February 10, 2009 at 4:39

    Nights in Black Velvet
    The trailer roof still leaks -
    My daughter’s only fourteen
    & she already tweaks.
    The old lady looks like
    A dog who chases parked cars,
    & I burn down half my paycheque
    Dragging her to strip-bars.
    Her hawtness is toast now,
    & my chubbies no more -
    The worst part of all is
    She won’t even go whore …
    She don’t put out
    She don’t put out – Whooooooooa-whoawhoawhoa-waaaah-waaaah!

  258. parsec said,

    February 10, 2009 at 5:16

    Sen. Malarkey’s family’s been in political offices for generations, runs businesses into the ground, and uses government to reward their cronies? They need to change the name to BUSH.

  259. Marsupial said,

    February 10, 2009 at 7:09

    Actually, FWIW, I think PJ O’Rourke is the ONE funny conservative out there. He’s probably one of my favorite (current) writers — although I had to kind of tune him out for a while there because I just couldn’t take anymore. He finally came around to some sense of clarity though.

    Holidays in Hell was my first of his, and the book I usually tell others to read first. Modern Manners is also great. But, he has one called Age & Guile Beat Youth, Innocence & a Bad Haircut, which is like a career retrospective, going back to his college days. Jeebus — some of his stuff in there is hysterical! It’s not ALL political writing. (Some of his funniest stuff is from Automobile magazine.)

  260. Patrick said,

    February 10, 2009 at 8:29

    My prediction for Muir’s piece of shit comic: The “story arc” will once again turn to pregnancy and an infant, for the sole purpose of providing Muir an excuse to display his breastfeeding fetish in every strip for a year. Mark my words.

    Also, its hilarious how he’ll draw women in thongs and topless but censors profanity. Classy guy.

  261. me said,

    February 10, 2009 at 8:47

    Ha ha ha ha! That’s really funny because, like, he was cutting the percentage even though the money was, like, less because of the economic downturn and he didn’t need to because it was a proportion (*). And they are corrupt liberals in the Democrat party! Geddit?

    * Actually I suspect the author is too dumb to realise this.

  262. RvB said,

    February 10, 2009 at 14:45

    The Conservatives wear bow ties as their way of kissing the dead butt of Winston Churchill. It is a sign by which they recognize each other. As for Rourke, he’d say anything in a time of a lot of pieties, and he was funny. And then he went to work for Rolling Stone and did brilliant things like comparing the economic health of Fremont, California to the economic health of Karachi, Pakistan, saying that the former proved the robustness of capitalism and the latter the inanity of a planned economy. And, for lack of a better word, FAIL.

  263. gil mann said,

    February 10, 2009 at 16:29

    As for Rourke, he’d say anything in a time of a lot of pieties

    Y’know how Public Enemy was a black nationalist rap group with an audience that skewed 75% white? O’Rourke was kinda like that—in his heyday, conservatives never really claimed him as one of their own, maybe because he was particularly vicious toward the religious right.

    His key demo, whether he knows it or not, was always liberal, albeit the kind of liberal who can’t stand the hyper-earnest “the personal is political!” types. “Hunting the Virtuous and How to Clean and Skin Them” is a hilariously brutal takedown of bleeding-hearts, and I imagine it’s a more satisfying read for someone who leans left than for a hardcore right-winger, kinda like how comedy revolving around cruelty to animals is only funny if you’re an animal lover.

    Unfortunately for him, Bush (and going back, the Gingrich Republicans) swelled the liberal ranks to include everyone who doesn’t suck wholesale, so his recent stuff is just irrelevant, even if he gets off the occasional good line.

  264. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 10, 2009 at 17:38

    conservatives never really claimed him as one of their own, maybe because he was particularly vicious toward the religious right.

    O’Rourke never clicked with the Religious Right because his main audience among conservatives is rich people. He has a devotion to people of inherited wealth that’s almost embarrassing in its slavishness.

    This may be because he grew up in one of those families that prefer to call themselves “broke” rather than “poor.” IOW, a key target demographic for Republicans who need support from the people they’re screwing over.

    One of his critics (a guy who worked with him at the old National Lampoon and couldn’t stand him) once remarked that the core of his humor was always: If you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?

  265. actor212 said,

    February 10, 2009 at 18:12

    Election data California 2008 November election:

    Barack Obama (Dem) 8,063,473 61.1%
    John McCain (Rep) 4,902,278 37.1%

    That’s a total of 13 million votes.

    Prop 8

    Yea 6,838,107 52.3%
    Nay 6,246,463 47.7%

    That’s a total of 13 million votes. In fact, slightly more people voted on Prop 8 than voted for President!

    Counties voting no:

    Humboldt
    Mendocino
    Sonoma
    Marin
    Napa
    Yolo
    Alameda
    Contra Costa
    San Francisco
    San Mateo
    Santa Cruz
    Santa Clara
    Monterey
    Santa Barbara

    Funny…those are all coastal counties and several urban counties…

  266. windy said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:38

    Prop 8
    Yea 6,838,107 52.3%
    Nay 6,246,463 47.7%

    That’s a total of 13 million votes. In fact, slightly more people voted on Prop 8 than voted for President!

    Freaky…
    so regardless of undervoting and so on, we can say that at least 1,935,829 non-McCain-voters must have voted for prop 8.

    Assuming that what Comedy Arbiter is trying to imply is true, I am going to have to conclude that every black Californian over the age of seven or thereabouts must have voted for prop 8.

  267. mapaghimagsik said,

    February 11, 2009 at 16:03

    Good illustration is hard. I won’t ding Lickskillet for that — but it is boring. Its funny how most comics with a real political bent seem to get to boring really fast — I think cuz it can get so wonky.

    But everyone else has already hit the right observations here — boring dialog, using the old conservative tropes — and then it *has* to be the libruls fault!

    Sometimes, Prickly City seems to “get it”, though I think its more a venting of disgust for Bush than anything. Then he’s back to “Democrats are Commies” and shite like that.

    There are some conservatives out there who can really illustrate. But I think conservativism failed them or at the very least, the Republicans did.

  268. mapaghimagsik said,

    February 11, 2009 at 16:06

    Okay, I’ll bite. Why the obsession whether a voter voted both for prop 8 and Obama? I don’t think its any secret that many “conservatives” were willing to vote for the black guy cuz they *hated* 12 McMansion McCain, and distrusted him to run the country.

  269. actor212 said,

    February 12, 2009 at 19:20

    Why the obsession whether a voter voted both for prop 8 and Obama?

    I can’t speak for Troofie, but the inference I believe he wants us to take away from this is that the blacks in California hate the gays.

    What that’s supposed to mean is beyond me. I think it means taht Democrats don’t march lockstep with each other. Perhaps it means that Troofie feels that gay is the new black.

    I’m not sure.

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

  • httpbl_stats()