Feb
11

The Education Of Donald Luskin




Posted at 8:27 by Gavin M.

Housing, Job Data Signal Recovery, Not Recession
7/25/2008
By Donald Luskin

Hello, investors! Is the glass half empty? Or is the glass half full?

The way the stock market dropped Thursday, you’d think the glass was downright empty. In fact you’d think the empty glass had been dropped to the pavement from the top of the Empire State Building. In fact, you’d think it had fallen into a boiling hot volcano. That’s how empty you’d think that glass was.

Above: Remarkable growth

Trampled by a big fat elephant. But I still think there’s more than one way to look at the economy and the market. Here’s how I see it:

Let’s say you have a hundred dollars, and then eighty dollars catches fire and burns up. Now you have twenty dollars. But here’s where it gets interesting: Add just 20% to that hundred dollars and now you have forty dollars. You’ve just doubled your money. (See chart at right.)

Above: Remarkable growth

It also works the other way, as with Thursday’s stock crash. If you compare the stock market to August 6, 2003, it’s up by around 2,000 points. Would you call that an empty glass? (See chart at left.)

As for me, I just have to go with the facts, not the fantasies. Bull market ahoy!

Think We’re In a Recession? Head to Disneyland.
8/8/2008
By Donald Luskin

Sure, when I wrote here several weeks ago that I didn’t see any evidence of recession during my trip to a high-end Hawaii resort, I opened myself up for criticism that I wasn’t really looking at the typical vacation experience of ordinary middle-class people. Well, here I am at Disneyland, and let me tell you: Mobs of people are lining up to spend money in America, sometimes for an hour at a time!

Booming business sectors in America include aerospace, railroads, marine architecture, zoology, souvenirs, and miniature performance automobiles. Weaker is alternative energy, including wind propulsion, specifically in the piracy sector.

When I talked about this on CNBC this week, one of the usual perma-bears tried to dismiss it, but evidence says that perma-bears should eat a big bowl of dicks. Heh heh.

The Worst Recession Since the Depression? No Way.
8/22/08
By Donald Luskin

So economist-of-the-hour Nouriel Roubini predicted the so-called ‘bursting’ of the so-called ‘real estate bubble.’ Big whoop — wasn’t he wrong until the prediction came so-called ‘true’? Funny how you don’t hear much anymore about Roubini running around predicting things that haven’t happened.

Now Roubini says “we are in a recession, and denying it is nonsense.” Not only that, but it is going to be “the worst since the Great Depression.” Gack! Gack! Pardon me for barfing.

Let’s get in touch with an old friend of mine who I like to call ‘reality.’ The official determination of recessions is made by a committee of the National Bureau of Economic Research, not by hoity-toity airy-fairies with their binkum-buncombe and hocus-pocus. I’m talking about objective standards here, not some Mickey Mouse fantasyland.

Hey stopped-clock Roubini, I guess if you say the same thing enough times, it will eventually be true. Haw haw! Too bad about your face, which looks like someone’s ass.

Fannie, Freddie Bailout Should Be Good for the Market
9/12/08
By Donald Luskin

Whew, color me relieved. This sudden and unpredicted financial panic ought to be over within a week. More troubling: Before the takeover, these companies were worth $11 billion. The next day they’re supposedly bankrupt? I’ve seen a lot of things, but I’ve never seen money just disappear into thin air.

I’d call my lawyer if I were you. What if the government expropriators next decide to seize healthy companies like Lehman Brothers?

Now is a good time to buy stocks.

Quit Doling Out That Bad-Economy Line
The Washington Post
9/14/08
By Donald Luskin

An economy in trouble? Well excu-u-use me folks, but I’m about to introduce you to a little thing that I like to call ‘reality.’ The delusional brayings of the naysaying recession Eeyores are utterly discredited by every relevant economic indicator — and that’s not just opinion; it’s ice-cold, diamond-hard fact that you can bring to the freaking bank at full flounce with your flip-flops flapping, any ding-dang day. Let me be plain: If this is a recession, I’ll eat dead goat anus.

Ha ha! O triumph eternal, O fortes Fortuna adiuvat. Ha ha! Wait, look, I’m Paul Krugman: “Doy, dime dupid.” Hey Paul, I’m you: “Dey dive me da Dobel Prize in Eck-nomics,” Ha ha! How d’you like me now? How d’you like me now? Boo-yah. You talkin’ ta me? You talkin’ ta me? Mama said knock you owwwt. Mama said knock you owwwt.

Whee! Nothing can go wrong now! Ha ha! Since you are about to die, Mr. Bond, I might as well tell you all about my plan. Ha ha! Dear Acme Co., Please send item #33527-02, “Ramjet-Propelled Kangaroo Costume with Flammable Glue Cannon.” Ha ha! Say, one thing this mountain stronghold could really use is a red LED timer marked ‘initiate self-destruct sequence.’ Don’t worry, it isn’t loaded. Don’t worry honey, I’m a good driver. Hey ev’rybody wartch this, hyuk-hyuk! Twelve…ice-cream…cakes! O Zeus,
The All-giver,
Dweller in the darkness of cloud,
I do advise McCain and thus,
Thy name do I forsake,
In pride of myself and kings.

Woo! I’m Rick James, bitch. Woo! I’m Rick James, bitch. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.

In conclusion, this economy is sound, sound, sound, folks, and remember I said so, because if I’m wrong, I vow that I will literally stick this flare gun up my ass and pull the trigger. Signed, Donald Luskin, L-u-s-k-i-n. Flare gun, baby! P.S. Krugman can eat a piping hot Thermos of dicks. kthxbai

Via C-Span, Rep. Paul Kanjorski (D-PA), chairman of the House Capital Markets Subcommittee:

“I was there when the secretary and the chairman of the Federal Reserve came those days and talked to members of Congress about what was going on… Here’s the facts. We don’t even talk about these things.

“On Thursday [September 18], at about 11 o’clock in the morning, the Federal Reserve noticed a tremendous drawdown of money market accounts in the United States, to a tune of $550 billion being drawn out in a matter of an hour or two. The Treasury opened its window to help. They pumped $105 billion into the system and quickly realized that they could not stem the tide. We were having an electronic run on the banks.

They decided to close the operation, close down the money accounts, and announce a guarantee of $250,000 per account so there wouldn’t be further panic, and there… And that’s what actually happened. If they had not done that, their estimation was that by two o’clock that afternoon, five-and-a-half trillion dollars would have been drawn out of the money market system of the United States, would have collapsed the entire economy of the United States, and within 24 hours the world economy would have collapsed.”

“It would have been the end of our political system and our economic systems as we know it.”

 

Washington Tries to Clean Up Mess It Created
9/19/08
By Donald Luskin

O hai!

Wow, did I get it really right or really wrong last week? Wow, it seems like a million years ago, and who can really say which way is up after the crazy, nutty ride we had?

Wow, say, on the one hand, the market is in a death spiral thanks to the government and its interference in the free market. Let’s get serious though: This could be the bottom, and do you know what’s about to happen? The market is going to spring right back, and just like always, the government idiot swine looters will take credit.

Can you believe those idiot swine looters, with the idiocy? Market outlook: rising.

Stocks Long for Vote of Confidence
10/24/2008
By Donald Luskin

I think that Obama is wrong for the economy in every way, and I will not be voting for him. Furthermore, his very presence as a candidate has been causing the stock market to crash. Just look at the stock market. Need I say more?

On the other hand, he is probably going to win the election, and so if there is to be a bull market, it must rise even while Obama radiates ultraviolet death upon the economy. I think I have figured out a way for this to happen. Obama will make people feel confident, and they will be wrong to feel that way, but in their wrongness they will buy stocks.

I see the market rising 20% by the inauguration. Downside? Obama will take credit for it, when it was actually a totally different imaginary Obama.

Naming New Treasury Chief Will Calm Markets
11/7/2008
By Donald Luskin

After the way the stock market sold off right after Tuesday’s election — the worst post-election drop ever, as far as I know — I have devised a plan for the immediate future.

1) Obama quickly names a Treasury secretary
2) ?
3) Market rally

How to Tell When the Bear Market Is Over
11/14/08
By Donald Luskin

Hi folks. I know things seem bad right now, but what’s that behind your ear? Oh look, it’s a shiny little penny of reality. Recessions bear markets last for an average of, uh, thirteen months, and if you know anything about statistics, you know how hard it is for things to exceed an average. So it’s been thirteen months already, and so far, stocks have lost 44.2% — a third again the loss of the average bear market. Talk about bucking the odds! Here comes the bull market!

Let me define my terms. The recession began suddenly in, uh, mid-September when a motorcycle gang overran several financial firms. This was solved when the government sent mutant lizard bikers to attack the normal human bikers. While I’m glad they did, Wall Street is now menaced by mutant lizard government bikers, and that’s what we call ‘a recession.’

This bear market will be over — correction: will actually have been over for at least two calendar months — when we can look back and see that stocks have rallied at least 20% from any given low point, over at least two calendar months. You can tell there’s something wrong with this metric, but you’re not sure what. The fundamental event drivers have changed, and will change again. Pull my finger.

As the top gamblers will tell you, if black doesn’t come up for awhile on the roulette wheel, keep doubling your bet on black. Thirteenth month, baby. Market goin’ up.

It’s official: Recession since Dec. ’07
12/01/2008

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — The National Bureau of Economic Research said Monday that the U.S. has been in a recession since December 2007, making official what most Americans have already believed about the state of the economy .

[...]

Some suggested that the best case scenario for the economy is that it would reach bottom in the second quarter of 2009. And even if that happens, that would still make this recession the longest since the Great Depression.

Oh cripes, I have to write a column.

Recession Claim Overblown
12/12/2008
By Donald Luskin

Do you believe everything you read in the media? If you do, then maybe words like ‘recession’ seem to change the fundamentals of the… After all, since 2007 with the heh. Pff.

I’m Excited About Buying Stocks
12/12/2008
By Donald Luskin

That’s good. No.

Despite the Recent Unpleasantness, I’m Excited About Buying Stocks
12/12/2008
By Donald Luskin

Have you ever been caught between a rock and a hard place? But some hard places aren’t really so hard. One example is oh god this is so not going to fly.

Institutional Investors Stumped by Market
12/12/2008
By Donald Luskin

Welp, let’s just tread water this week.

Do you ever wonder what the super-elite A-list investors really think? I can tell you that because the super-elite A-list investors are my clients. One of them thinks one thing, and another thinks something else, and so on from one to the next. Their thinking is different from each other, is what I’m saying.

But what do I think? Well, I’ll tell you. There are three great times to buy stocks. When the market is hot, then wow, that’s a great time to buy stocks, because they’re hot and going up. Similarly, buying stocks is what you want to do when the market is low, because where are they going to go, down? Of course not, they’re going to go up. The third time is when Paul Krugman is reading this line and you tell him to gargle a canteen of dicks. If you’re not Paul Krugman, stick to the first two.

My prediction for the market? Falling. Ha ha just kidding, it’s likely to go bull.

Current Recession Is No Great Depression
12/19/2008
By Donald Luskin

I’ve been complaining for years about how excessively pessimistic everyone has been about the economy and the stock market. But I have to admit, now that the economy is in recession and the stock market has taken a serious hit, all the pessimism is serving some useful purposes. For instance, look at all the super deals you can get on stocks!

Also, you may have noticed the revisionist claims about the Great Depression that have been concocted by right-wing ideologues. These are true and are gaining in credibility every day, proving that we are not facing another Great Depression and also inspiring people to buy stocks, which is pushing the market upwards.

Also, people are just plain tired of selling stocks and feel like doing something else with their stocks for a change, i.e. in the stock market, i.e. buying them.

So as you see, we are heading for a market rally. When stocks have moved somewhat higher a month or two from now, we can stop and reappraise, but I say buy.

Safe Landing a Good Omen for the Economy
1/16/2009
By Donald Luskin

Bailouts ahoy! Good thing, too — but if only the government would give financial firms free money without expecting anything in return, I would worry less about creeping socialism.

Thursday’s lows were a successful test of the November bottom in stocks — or in other words, if you make a graph with nothing but November’s historic lows and Thursday’s sharp drop in stocks, it looks like stocks are going up. If so, pop the champagne because we’re in a new bull market.

The Stimulus Placebo Effect
1/30/09
By Donald Luskin

The so-called stimulus is as bad and crazy as the New Deal! How can spending money on roads and schools possibly help the economy? Some economists argue that you could pay people to dig holes in the dirt and fill them up again, and that would be perfectly adequate to bring the country out of recession. But I don’t see how that’s different than paying people to stand still and do nothing. And paying people to stand still and do nothing is simply charity. Welfare. The dole. Is that supposed to get us out of recession?

Then again, if enough people believe it will work, then maybe it will work, except just in an imaginary way and not because it’s smart or correct. Or maybe it will destroy us all. If those are the choices, then is this really a chance that’s wise to take?

Actually, let’s get real. The economy isn’t in any great emergency, and if the Republicans succeed in derailing this zany bill, we’re going bullish — so buy stocks while they’re low.

Fixing the Banks Should Be Job No. 1
2/6/2009
By Donald Luskin

Hi, me again. My God, what a huge, ugly mess government has caused by interfering with the perfect wisdom of the unregulated market. What an appalling ruin it has strewn.

Obama’s bank rescue plan ought to be a lot like Bush’s. I hope so, because I’m all about shoveling tons of free tax money onto the banks and letting them spend it on hookers and blow, if that’s what our titans of finance choose to do with the money that is rightfully theirs.

And what a time for a recovery! For believe it or not, things look really good right now for a new ba-ba-ba-bull market, going ba-ba-ba-boom! Like goin’ up and not comin’ down, is just like the beat without the sound, no sound, to the beat-beat, ya do the freak, everybody just rock and dance to the beat. An’ have you ever went over a friend’s house to eat,
And the food just aint no good?
I mean the macaroni’s soggy, the peas are mush,
And the chicken it tastes like wood?
So you try to play it off like you think you can,
By sayin’ that you’re full —
And then your friend says, Momma, he’s just being polite;
He ain’t finished, uh-uh, that’s bull.

But it all depends on next week. Geithner has to decide. Is he going to save the world? Or is he going to destroy it? Make no mistake, that’s what this is about. Credit makes the world go around. It’s as critical to modern life as electricity.

If Geithner acts wisely the lights will stay on. If he doesn’t, the lights will go out.

I’m betting he gets it right. But face it: This is a moment of truth.

89 Comments »

  1. noen said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:30

    frist!

  2. Mr. Roarke's Brand Salad Dressing's Poops said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:30

    I need to comment first, before my head splodey.

  3. Oregon Guy said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:31

    We’re fucked.

  4. commie atheist said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:32

    Thank goddess, you’re still alive!

  5. Gavin M. said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:33

    [oh crap,I'm still formatting the post. Hang on...]

  6. noen said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:40

    I want to apologize for the frist thingie. I promise to never do that again. I just could think of anything else at the moment.

  7. commie atheist said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:46

    I want to apologize for the frist thingie. I promise to never do that again. I just could think of anything else at the moment.

    After 700 comments about music and way too much Conservative Observer, that’s perfectly understandable.

  8. commie atheist said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:47

    The Bold, new look of Sadly,No!

  9. noen said,

    February 11, 2009 at 8:55

    I’m not a big music person, never have been. I don’t know why. The 700 comments was intimidating though. So I read instead the post over on Crooked Timber by Henry on the mini controversy Between Krugman, Clive Crook and Tyler Cowen. That was interesting. This Luskin character… my god what a blithering idiot he is.

    ” … if it is bad, then stocks may not have to fall much further, but they’ll still deliver lousy returns for the next year or so. Why take any risk at all, just in case things turn out even worse than expected?

    What could be worse? ”

    When ever a wingnut says “what could be worse” run.

  10. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:03

    I’m convinced. Where do I go to buy these imaginary “stocks” w/ my imaginary “money?”

  11. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:04

    Hah! Knew that’d work– THREADSLAYAH!

  12. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:08

    Holy crap, this one will require some serious scrutiny before weighing in semi-unintelligently, so it must be bedtime.

  13. Lesley said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:12

    Holy shit. Somebody pays this guy to write columns?

    Most frightening of all is the realization that the Canadian PM must have been following Luskin, because in September his speeches were littered with “What recession?” and “now’s a good time to buy stocks, they’re a steal.”

    I suppose there’s no chance this asshole invested with Madoff?

    Stellar take down, as usual Gavin. I don’t suppose “smart money” would print it.

  14. Lesley said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:19

    Really though, Donald Luskin is in good company as this story demonstrates.

  15. Galactic Dustbin said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:39

    I wish I could be wrong so often and still keep my job. Heh, that would be sweet.

  16. Galactic Dustbin said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:40

    I like this bold shit- makes everything we say look very exciting and important.

  17. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:45

    Well, not to belabor the obvious, but everything I type is very exciting & important w/o trickery. (And often redundant.)

  18. Major Woody said,

    February 11, 2009 at 9:58

    Well, it seems that now might be a good time to buy some stock!

  19. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2009 at 10:02

    As long as Mr. Luskin is getting his commission, the best time to buy stock is now, as well as tomorrow, also.

  20. Grace Nearing said,

    February 11, 2009 at 10:08

    I wish I could be wrong so often and still keep my job. Heh, that would be sweet.

    Well, the trick is to pick a job for which there is no pesky oversight board like, say, the American Bar Association; or one in which you may inadvertently kill your clients, like medicine, and then have to face litigious family members; or rat catcher, where if you kick back too long the rats start nibbling your toes; or bus driver or airplane pilot, where your miscalculations not only are going to get you maimed or killed but also wind up on the evening news. So that pretty much leaves politician and media personality.

  21. M. Bouffant said,

    February 11, 2009 at 10:15

    Corporate executive is another possibility.

  22. CNBC said,

    February 11, 2009 at 10:23

    Based on this story, I’m investing in dick commodities.

    Oh wait, we already have a surplus.

    Maybe if we package Kudlow with Deutsch we can make a couple of worthless commodities look like a good deal. I better get the team on this.

    Bulls Away!

  23. justme said,

    February 11, 2009 at 10:25

    I’d love to see this clown in stocks. I think we really need to bring those back. The wooden ones with holes for the wrists and neck, that is. If we as a nation invested in that sort of stocks, heavily, like lining the National Mall with them, and made them the punishment for being a media asshat who is always wrong, we’d be waaaaaayyyyyyy better off.

    Oh, yeah. They get to be the sentence for douchenozzle politicians, too. Baskets of rotting veggies for all!

    Sigh. Sweet reverie, a man can dream, can he not?

  24. Smut Clyde said,

    February 11, 2009 at 10:44

    In fact, you’d think it had fallen into a boiling hot volcano. That’s how empty you’d think that glass was.
    Empty? You call that ‘empty’? When I were a lad, we had glasses that were so empty that we had to hold them under a running tap for 20 minutes just to get the sides wet. But you didn’t hear us complaining, mainly because our throats were too dry.

  25. Snorghagen said,

    February 11, 2009 at 10:46

    Holy shit. Somebody pays this guy to write columns?

    Amazing, isn’t it? And he gets away with it, year after year. He’s turned being a moron into a lucrative career.

  26. Lesley said,

    February 11, 2009 at 11:00

    I wish I could be wrong so often and still keep my job. Heh, that would be sweet.

    Try the Securities Exchange Commission. They prize incompetence almost as much as moral bankruptcy.

  27. Lesley said,

    February 11, 2009 at 11:02

    I’d love to see this clown in stocks.

    If stocks aren’t possible, how about rainbow toe socks and short pants. Every day for the rest of his life.

  28. justme said,

    February 11, 2009 at 11:32

    how about rainbow toe socks and short pants.

    I’d prefer not to have to remove my eyes with an impromptu spork.

    I suppose the double wetsuit reference goes here.

  29. owlbear1 said,

    February 11, 2009 at 12:06

    Who the fuck is Luskin’s audience? Why haven’t they lynched him yet?

  30. jim said,

    February 11, 2009 at 12:10

    Yeah, he’s dead-on about this being a great time to buy stocks – if you get the ones with all the ornate lettering & fancy-ass graphics, I hear they make real pretty wallpaper.

    Donald Luskin is the Bill Kristol of Wall Street!

  31. Rick Astley said,

    February 11, 2009 at 13:09

    TL;DR

    The goal is for Wall Street to get all of your tax dollars. Obama and Bush play “good cop” and “bad cop.” If you are distracted by their antics, you may not pay attention to what’s really going on.

    Wall Street paid the single largest chunk for Obama’s inauguration party. Wall Street was also the single largest contributor to Obama’s campaign.

    Obama supports Bush torture policy, at least according to the ACLU in recent news.

    Obama’s Treasury Secretary is a tax evader.

    If you believe that Obama is a legitimate alternative to crime in government, you are very seriously self-deluded.

  32. justme said,

    February 11, 2009 at 13:14

    Why haven’t they lynched him yet?

    I suspect that if they have been listening to him. they likely can’t afford the rope.

  33. Smut Clyde said,

    February 11, 2009 at 13:18

    Boring trollery; DR.

  34. Major Kong said,

    February 11, 2009 at 14:53

    They could build monuments to this guy’s stupidity.

  35. henry lewis said,

    February 11, 2009 at 15:12

    This bear market will be over — correction: will have been over

    Now is a good time to buy stocks.

    Market outlook: rising.

    Market goin’ up.

    3) Market rally

    Here in Canada, we have a Prime Minister who thinks this way.

  36. R. Porrofatto said,

    February 11, 2009 at 15:12

    Marvelous takedown. You could do the exact same thing for the Snowy Kudload’s wishful and cherubic optimism (the Bush Boom! Stellar economy!) in his columns at Townhall and it would almost be identical. It’s astounding that these shameless shills have readers, it’s even more disturbing to know these financial morons have fucking clients, no less A-listers—so much for the wise Invisible Fist of the free market in consultants. In some ways, Donald Luskin is as much a fraud as Bernie Madoff, he just can’t be prosecuted for it.

  37. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 11, 2009 at 15:24

    owlbear1 said,

    February 11, 2009 at 12:06

    Who the fuck is Luskin’s audience? Why haven’t they lynched him yet?

    His audience is the usual dupes of the Church of Free Market Triumphalism.

  38. henry lewis said,

    February 11, 2009 at 15:29

    I dunno about this bold thing.

    Every comment looks like a stern e-mail.

  39. OB-GYN Kenobi said,

    February 11, 2009 at 15:37

    I suspect that if they have been listening to him. they likely can’t afford the rope.

    I believe justme has won the thread.

  40. Gore Vidal Sassoon said,

    February 11, 2009 at 15:47

    It’ll be a recession in a couple of months when they can pin it on Obama with a straight face.

  41. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    February 11, 2009 at 16:18

    Badoodle-boo-yeah, loony libs! This cat is stealing my schtick!

  42. comsympinko said,

    February 11, 2009 at 16:22

    “Empty? You call that ‘empty’? When I were a lad, we had glasses that were so empty that we had to hold them under a running tap for 20 minutes just to get the sides wet. But you didn’t hear us complaining, mainly because our throats were too dry.”

    Where have you hidden the other three Yorkshiremen?

  43. comsympinko said,

    February 11, 2009 at 16:29

    It really has reached the point where Teh Stoopid is firmly in charge and all efforts to kill it are rendered moot by the fact that the people making the decisions ARE The Stoopid.

    The mind reels at the prospect of these idiots running a 7-Eleven, let alone the global economy.

  44. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2009 at 16:33

    Gavin, this is one of your finest columns.

    You took the “give them enough rope and they’ll hang themselves” one step further.

    You gave Luskin enough rope to tie himself up, lash himself to the yard-arm, keel-haul himself AND then hang himself!

    My hat’s off to you. I thought I committed coup by taking Howard Kurtz down today on a similar topic, but I am humbled by the magnificence of this skewering.

  45. chocolatepie said,

    February 11, 2009 at 17:00

    I think he’s getting his device directly from the e*trade commercial baby, who he keeps in a Snuggly close to his erratic heartbeat. When his heart starts palpitating faster and more irregularly than the beat from a herd of stampeding gazelles, the baby knows it’s time to BUY BUY BUY!

  46. tigrismus said,

    February 11, 2009 at 17:12

    Luskin’s cup is not half empty, it’s overflowing with FAIL. I’m very bullish on Luskin’s FAIL futures, too.

  47. InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,

    February 11, 2009 at 17:23

    Gavin, the date is wrong on one of the entries. It references the election but is listed as 10/7/2008. I think it should be 11/7/2008, no?

  48. Cowalker said,

    February 11, 2009 at 17:25

    Just saying–

    Bush gives fist bump as farewell to official photographer

  49. Cowalker said,

    February 11, 2009 at 17:37

    The Education of Donald Luskin: the Prequel

    Luskin:
    Most of what you hear about economics is a lie. No, seriously. I should know. Economic statistics are useless, unless they say what you want to believe. Believe that increasing trade deficits are good, and don’t believe statistics that indicate increasing unemployment. The coming BOOM will solve the problem of the federal deficit, and the harder you clap the BOOMIER it will be. Clap! Clap, I say!

  50. Gavin M. said,

    February 11, 2009 at 17:39

    Gavin, the date is wrong on one of the entries. It references the election but is listed as 10/7/2008. I think it should be 11/7/2008, no?

    Thanks — let me go look…

  51. Gavin M. said,

    February 11, 2009 at 17:43

    Fixed. Thanks for noticing; that was a meaningful fuck-up. Aiee.

  52. nationalplumbingcode said,

    February 11, 2009 at 18:21

    Oh, oh, oh, I get it: Donald Luskin is the leading candidate for the open NTY op/ed slot! Krugman’s had his chance, it’s Luskin Time! I’m clapping. Clapping as hard as I can.

    Oh, and I’m thinking I should put all my pennies right here:

    http://www.trendmacro.com

    Oooops, wait, what’s this? The only thing they invest in is InTrade futures and political op/ed pieces? Well, okay, then, I’m sure they get a handsome rate of return from those activities.

  53. protected static said,

    February 11, 2009 at 18:24

    Don’t worry, it isn’t loaded. Don’t worry honey, I’m a good driver.

    9353 FTW.

  54. Athenawise said,

    February 11, 2009 at 18:26

    Luskin, Luskin, bo-buskin
    Banana-fana fo-Fuskin
    Fee-fi-mo-Muskin
    Luskin!

  55. xochi said,

    February 11, 2009 at 18:51

    Yup. I read a recent article of Luskin’s, and not knowing his history as a journalist, made the snap judgment that he was another tapdancing capitalist, madly shuffling away to keep people from looking at the rot behind the curtain. Thanks for presenting his whole floor show.

  56. Interrobang said,

    February 11, 2009 at 18:57

    Here in Canada, we have a Prime Minister who thinks this way.

    Well, to be more fair to the Smirking Corpse than he really deserves, our economy is only sort of floating lazily on the water in the upside-down porcelain fountain, instead of long since down the pipe and halfway to the sewage treatment plant. I mean, hell, we’ve got currently the safest banks in the world (which is, admittedly, sort of like saying you live in the safest neighbourhood in Detroit, but still), so it ain’t completely the end of the world as we know it up here.

    The fact that the almost total implosion of the US economy has not sent Canada into a death spiral of penury and devastation is actually the most optimism-inspiring thing that has happened yet this decade, I think.

    If the US economy could somehow be surgically resected from the finances of the rest of the world, this’d all be sorta funny from where I’m sitting…

  57. OB-GYN Kenobi said,

    February 11, 2009 at 19:21

    Has Luskin had a bad coke habit like Kudlow?

  58. Me said,

    February 11, 2009 at 19:43

    First of all, I just want to say that the first several chapters of this post were very funny. I’m looking forward to finishing it, possibly this Summer if I can get a couple of weeks off.

    Secondly, I would like to highly recommend:

    A. that you employ an editor
    B. that you refrain from writing when you are at the peak of your manic cycle

  59. Righteous Bubba said,

    February 11, 2009 at 19:45

    ?

    This is the usual awesome expected from Gavin.

  60. Fozzetti said,

    February 11, 2009 at 20:51

    Gavin, your post belongs on the front page of the Wall Street Journal. Really.
    I’m gonna print it out and read it again. I need the laughs. Thank You.

  61. Smut Clyde said,

    February 11, 2009 at 21:02

    “give them enough rope and they’ll hang themselves”
    GIVE them the rope? Did you miss the memos about the corrosive effects of charity? The whole idea was to sell them the rope, and as justme pointed out, the rope futures market is rather flat at the moment.

  62. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2009 at 21:16

    The whole idea was to sell them the rope

    *shrug*

    I’m a liberal.

  63. Smut Clyde said,

    February 11, 2009 at 21:24

    Where have you hidden the other three Yorkshiremen?
    They all seem to be on the next thread, bickering about penis size.

  64. D-Lusk said,

    February 11, 2009 at 22:00

    Everything I need to know about economics I learned from my poop.

  65. Lawnguylander said,

    February 11, 2009 at 22:26

    This post is fucking hilarious. I wish it never ended and I am sad that I can never read it for the first time again.

  66. jim said,

    February 11, 2009 at 22:30

    Here in Canada, we have a Prime Minister who thinks this way.

    The term “thinks” may be overly generous. The man appears in public about twice a year for a good reason – he’s both repulsive & a dimwit. I’m heartbroken that the Liberals & NDP haven’t thrown him out on his ass yet. We too have jellyfish for opposition parties.

    Wouldn’t surprise me one bit if Harper was a devout fan of Luskin. Oh, cruel fate – if only he’d had the majority he needed last year to radically deregulate our banking industry like he wanted to – just think what exciting fun Canada would be having right now!

  67. a different brad said,

    February 11, 2009 at 22:41

    So, I, uh, heard there’s no trolls in this thread? Long posts scare them, I guess.

  68. Larry Craig said,

    February 11, 2009 at 22:42

    Luskin is a cutie, ain’t he?

  69. tigrismus said,

    February 11, 2009 at 22:46

    You know, I tend to be a fan of the receding-hairline-brunet-with-glasses look, but Luskin’s head looks a balloon with a face drawn on it.

  70. Turbine Yukon Palin said,

    February 11, 2009 at 22:48

    You gave Luskin enough rope to tie himself up, lash himself to the yard-arm, keel-haul himself AND then hang himself!

    You forgot the part where there was still enough left over to make a macramé tea cozy, a comfy hammock for his porch, and allow an entire kindergarten class to double-dutch jump rope simultaneously.

  71. actor212 said,

    February 11, 2009 at 23:00

    TYP,

    And let’s not forget the Scout troop looking to build the rope bridge over the Snake River Canyon!

  72. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    February 11, 2009 at 23:29

    After the economic collapse – martial law.

    Good times…for fascists.

  73. Daverz said,

    February 12, 2009 at 0:02

    The only way I can explain Luskin getting a forum anywhere is that there really is a conspiracy to keep you poor and stupid.

  74. Northern Observer said,

    February 12, 2009 at 0:38

    Than you thank you thank you for taking the time to expose the cretin that is Luskin. Thank you.

  75. Peter Principle said,

    February 12, 2009 at 1:22

    Luskin’s head looks a balloon with a face drawn on it.

    If he were as smart as a balloon that would just about nail it.

  76. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 12, 2009 at 1:29

    And let’s not forget the Scout troop looking to build the rope bridge over the Snake River Canyon!

    St00pid Boy Scouts, why can’t they just jump it in a rocket-powered motorcycle.

    I wonder if Luskin has invested in torch-and-pitchfork futures.

  77. Mo's Bike Shop said,

    February 12, 2009 at 2:52

    I’ve seen a lot of things, but I’ve never seen money just disappear into thin air.

    Too bad you can’t ask the Chicago City Comptroller about that…

  78. Canada Bill Jones said,

    February 12, 2009 at 3:12

    The only way I can explain Luskin getting a forum anywhere is that there really is a conspiracy to keep you poor and stupid.

    Well, Duh!

  79. int argc said,

    February 12, 2009 at 6:33

    Is this the same Donald Luskin that engaged in a several-years-long war of attrition with the Light Blue Satan, resulting in several hilariously futile attempts to out the notorious Atrios? Because if he is the same person, I didn’t think, until reading this post, that he could be more thoroughly punked. Bravo.

  80. protected static said,

    February 12, 2009 at 6:41

    Too bad you can’t ask the Chicago City Comptroller Coalition Provisional Authority about that…

    WordPress willing, FTFY

    Just remember: pallets of bills, totally unaccounted for. C-5s full of cash.

  81. dex said,

    February 12, 2009 at 6:58

    this post? this post, genius. thank you for the genius post.

  82. sukabi said,

    February 12, 2009 at 10:38

    after watching a clip of the CNBC financial brain trust interviewing Roubini and Nassim the other day, I wasn’t sure if your portrayal of Luskins “advice” was satire or not… looks like you took a serious look at what passes for “expert advice”… you sir, have done the country a service.

  83. tatateeta said,

    February 12, 2009 at 11:48

    Wow! This guy Luskin is a whack job.

  84. Dr.BDH said,

    February 12, 2009 at 16:26

    Sadly, there are people who read Smart Money for financial advice. It’s not like Luskin only wrote for The Washington Times or The Weekly Standard. “Smart” Money put this idiot in print month after excruciatingly wrong month. And that was after he revealed what an ignorant fool he was by going up against Krugman and being completely discredited. I recommend you submit this to Dumb Monkey as a cover story on how not to report on the economy. They owe to their readers.

  85. zeppo said,

    February 12, 2009 at 18:04

    I got here from a link from Digby. She thinks very highly of this piece as well. Great job.

    Now, I suppose I really should go do some work this morning….

  86. Shklovsky said,

    February 13, 2009 at 15:29

    My god, did you drop some Sugarhill AND 9353 in the same column? A man of parts!

  87. Kimball Corson said,

    February 14, 2009 at 2:29

    The ideas presented here are, for the most part, so wrong-headed that when taken at their opposite would be rather consistently close to the truth. It is absolutely amazing.

  88. jim said,

    February 14, 2009 at 5:16

    How on Earth can this ass-whuppin’ post not even get 100 comments while those other sluttier posts get way more?
    These threads are being rigged … by ACORN! Wake Up sheeple!!1!1!@!

  89. Anthony J. Alfidi said,

    February 15, 2009 at 3:17

    Too funny. If the DABA girls can get a TV and movie deal, so can you.

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