4
Being Paul Blartovich
Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart
PeeJ said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:13
Blart? BLART!
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:14
lolblart
PeeJ said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:15
Say, can I get hurt by playing this Blartophone?
Quaker in a Basement said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:17
I blame the dog.
lawnguylander said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:17
I can haz cheeseblarter?
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:17
Rollerblart! Johnablart! Johnablart! Johnablart!
Smut Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:18
I am aware of all internet blartitions.
Simba B said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:19
Too bad we can do sizes and colors here. And the blink tag.
Uh, I meant the blart tag.
Righteous Bubba said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:19
All your blarts are belong to us.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:20
I blart the dog.
Fixed!
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:20
Sorry, BlarTML problems.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:21
Blart was cool back in the old days. Now it’s all this gangsta shit – where are the positive messages?
gbear said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:21
nothing ambliguous about that post.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, debunk my cello scrotum said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:22
PENIS
M. Bouffant said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:22
Seriously, isn’t PB, Mall Rent-A-Pig, actually a right wing fantasy pic because (I’m pretty sure I heard this from the corner of my ears when Kevin James was shilling the damn thing on Letterman’s show) he’s “sworn an oath to protect the mall,” to which his boss replies: “We don’t swear an oath here,” & wanna-Blart sez: “Well, I did.” (Or something.)
If that doesn’t sum up the rabid weasel idea of honor, courage, etc. Plus it’s got fat guys falling down.
Charles Foster Kaine said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:25
Roseblart….
Grand Moff Texan said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:26
Blart, beans, sausage, eggs, and blart.
Blart, sausage, ham, and blart.
Blart, beans, spam, beans, and blart.
Blart, blart, blart, blart, and blart with a side of blart.
.
MzBlarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:26
Shorter Blart: Bl
PeeJ said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:27
ℬℒÅℛℑ
a different brad said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:28
Slarty Blartfast?
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:29
If we don’t blart the blarts over there we’ll have to blart them over here.
Blarty Bluppert said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:29
The fact is, blart.
Blarta212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:29
Now it’s all this gangsta shit – where are the positive messages?
Say, brutha, what you got against Notorious B.L.A.R.T.?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:29
Row row row your blart
Gently to the mall.
Blartily, blartily, blartily, blartily,
Blart blart blart blart blart.
Smut Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:29
I want those blarting malfunctioning robots off this blarting blog!
Simba Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:30
Governor Rod Blartojevich
Blartor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:30
Hm, this nym makes me look like a villain from the He-Blart comics
Simba Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:30
I want those blarting malfunctioning robots off this blarting blog!
Don’t encourage it.
Uh, blart.
Blartor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:30
Simba Blart: win!
Paul T Lazaro said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:30
I am Blarticus!
D.N. Nation said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:31
Unduly some Blarts never change. Take for instance the “Blart” in Blart. More than 80 percent of Blarts are opposed to the Blart to Blart for a Blart of Blarts. Oh, I forgot . . . Blart by any other Blart, is still not Blart according to many diehard Blarts who think we can’t see through their Blart.
Even Blart get tired of the Blart being pulled over their Blarts.
Here’s the Blart: The Blarts want to flood the Blart with Blarts, so they can stay in Blart, and completely eradicate the Blart and conservative Blarts — otherwise they wouldn’t be so pro-amnesty for a Blart of Blarts who refuse to not only obey our Blarts, but show deep Blart for Blart.
I guess so . . . what Blart? And the Blarts want to payback corporate Blart for campaign Blarts.
In other Blarts: big Blart and special interest Blarts currently own Blart and your Blart. If you believe Blart contrary to the Blart on the Blart — there is little Blart of returning Blart back to its rightful Blarts — the American Blart.
Don’t believe for one Blart, the incessant Blart 10 or even 20 million Blart cannot be deployed out of the Blart over a Blart of Blart. It’s total Blart to reward Blart for invading a Blart, taking to the Blarts, demanding Blarts they don’t or shouldn’t have.
The Blart of the Blart has a Blart intact where it guarantees the Blart will be protected against foreign Blarts by our Blart. So what happens with our current Blart? Not only are we “unprotected” against foreign Blarts — our Blart is blatantly encouraging the Blart of Blarts to continue coming on over in Blarts. And if this “in your face” Blart isn’t bad enough — the border patrol Blarts have their Blarts tied behind their Blarts, many of them punished whenever they try to do their Blart. Is this treasonous Blart or what?
You decide.
Frankly, I’m getting tired (with the Blart of other Blart) with the immigration Blart being at the forefront of everything else, unsettled.
We are most likely the laughing Blart of the Blart, because we’re supposed to be the super Blart of the Blart, and yet we can’t or won’t control our own Blarts.
Let’s just get over the Blart that we are required to take everybody and their Blart who want to migrate to Blart. Yes, we are a Blart founded by Blarts, along with all the other Blarts, and yet the other Blarts enforce their immigration Blarts — including Blart.
Yes, we are a diverse Blart. But this is not something to brag about — considering the old Blart: a Blart divided against itself will fall. And there is definitely more than enough Blart to go around here in Blart.
Folks you’ve been had in the worst way. As you have slept, your Blart has been given away right from underneath your drooping Blarts. You have (thus far) been content at being complacent, assuming everything will work itself out in the end.
Everyday you work your Blarts to the Blart, so the Blart can tax your Blarts beyond Blart, to reward Blart who won’t work — while your American Blart keeps diminishing as you’re forced to face the cruel Blart that the Blart just doesn’t exist — courtesy of your Blarts.
While the “grassroots” Blart of those adamantly opposing the current S. 1348 immigration amnesty Blart has gotten a Blart, this is not the time to rest on your Blarts, but to rise up even stronger opposing the disastrous Blart that is far from resting in Blart.
With Blart and Blart Blarts being propelled by big Blarts to faze out the American Blarts in favor of cheap Blart — the Blart is now — not later — to show them whose Blart.
What we really need in this Blart . . . is a Blart of Blart in Blart, and a Blart of pink Blarts.
And that’s just my Blart!
(ask yourself: does the Blarticized Kay Grogan make any less sense than the original?)
D. Aristophanes said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:31
B 2 the Lart 2 the Blar 2 the T
I ♥ Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:31
Silly bleeding Blart liberals.
Blart Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:31
The blarting [code] tag
works in preview but not in the thread.</code.Mr Bold said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:32
What the blart man?
zeppo said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:32
Does this qualify as a new internet tradition, do ya think?
John Malkovich said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:33
What the fuck is going on?
Mr Bold said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:33
“Does this qualify as a new internet tradition, do ya think?”
Answer: blart.
Simba Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:33
Surely there is some online tool that will allow us to Blartify stuff? JanusNode, or maybe something simpler?
/Lazyweb
PeeJ said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:33
Smut blarted that one up real good.
Blart Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:34
OK, so
[code]does work.Three paragraphs of Blart from the automatic Letter-of-Blart Generator, coming right up!
Blartor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:34
Does this qualify as a new internet tradition, do ya think?
To blart or not to blart, that is the blartion.
blartbear1 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:35
What we have here is a failure to blarticate.
Tehanu said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:36
Mall cops are the blarts of liberal fascism. This is central to my point.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:36
I’ve blarted the code tag here before and had it fail. It might get all blarted up with returns.
M. Bouffant said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:36
Blart The Plumber.
Simba Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:36
tag test</acronym
The Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:37
It is not going to happen, blarts. Your echo blart is reverberating now with your shouts of blart before you’ve won a single blart. I almost feel badly for you, because when Blart wins, your blart will be overwhelming. I say “almost” because your blart is nasty, anti-free speech, and absolutist, and every decent blart will blart in relief when it goes down to defeat once more.
Here is how it will go down next week. First, the blarts from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for Blart. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big blart, blart can’t come overnight” will be your blart. Florida will go blart, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual blarts will fall into the usual blarts. As the blart drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your blart) Pennsylvania will be too blart to call.
My advice at this blart to you will be to go to blart. You will wake up to a Blart presidency and the Great Blart Blartout will be on.
Blartmark this, blarts, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the blart I was able to call this.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:37
regular expression to blartify text
s/ [A-Z][a-z][a-z]* / Blart /g
Simba Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:37
one more
PeeJ said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:37
The blart that would not die…
zeppo said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:38
Tralb.
No, I guess it isn’t very funny backwards…. Thought I would give it a blart, tho
B. Lartistophanes said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:38
this blart’s for you
Mr Bold said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:38
“I am Blarticus!”
Sure pal…and I’m the Greek poet from Blarnx, Blartoninus.
Simba B said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:38
<acronym title=”popup text goes here”>actual text goes here<acronym> is another toy for you all to play with.
I don’t think it works in IE though.
a different brad said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:39
The Blartman knows that the Blarts will grow
The Blartman knows that the Blarts will grow
The Blartman knows that the Blarts will grow
The Blartman kno–oh–oows…
Blart man… (yee-ow-oo-wow-oo)
Blart man… (yee-ow-oo-wow-oo)
Blart man… (yee-ow-oo-wow-oo)
Blart man…
Xecklothxayyquou Blartchrist said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:39
My God… it’s full of blarts…
a different blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:39
oops
The Swedish Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:40
Blart, blart blart blart!
B. Lartistophanes said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:40
we’re on a mission from Blart
Bigby said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:40
Blart is Punk Rock.
MzBlarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:41
OMBlart, this is so blartin’ funny I just blarted my blartini all over my blart.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:41
All this blarting is making me thirsty.
Because of this, I am working on writing a new compiler. It will be called the Basic Lab Assembler Regex Translator.
M. Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:42
Hey, did I post something, or is the fog from the previous effort drifting here & effing w/ my, uh … what?
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:42
we’ve kissed the Blarty Stone…
Blart Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:42
No, I guess it isn’t very funny backwards….
If memory serves me, Tralbalfadorians communicate by blarting and tap-dancing.
Xecklothxayyquou Blartchrist said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:42
OMBlart, this is so blartin’ funny I just blarted my blartini all over my blart.
This is objectively pro-blart.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:43
Barack Hussein Blart
Duros62 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:43
Blartor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:30
Hm, this nym makes me look like a villain from the He-Blart comics
Wasn’t that a Rush song?
Blar-Tor and the Snow Dog?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:43
“Blartmark this!” wins the thread!
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:43
Captain America commands you to blart.
Everybody If You Can, Do The Goddamn Blartman said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:44
Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious blart.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:44
The Truth’s “bookmark this” speech doesn’t really read that differently.
a different blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:46
“what are you?!?!?”
“i’m Blartman”
blartbear1 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:46
Blart Trek XI: The Wrath of Blart!
Curly "Blart" Howard said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:46
Steve Blartman says hi.
Xecklothxayyquou Blartchrist said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:47
This obsession with blarts is depriving us of valuable discussion time regarding sharts.
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:47
No, you’re thinking of either Nemblartsis or Blartsurrection.
I’d bring up Star Wars, but after the prequels that’d just be redundant.
tigrisblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:48
I now have the jingle “Free Credit Report Blart Com” in my head. I hope you’re all happy. Blartstards.
Florence Blartingdale said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:48
If loving to blart is wrong I don’t wanna be right!!!
PeeJ said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:48
Gimme a bee! Gimme an ell! Gimme an ay! Gimme an ar! Gimme a tee!
Put em all together what’s it spell?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
beeellayartee.
BLART
CSPAN junkie said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:49
Is someone liveblarting the congressional hearings?
a different blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:49
Blartman and Joe the Plumber meet the Mummy
Xecklothxayyquou Blartchrist said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:49
beeellayartee
Chef Beeellayartee Blart Ravioli
zeppo said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:49
I love civil discourse….
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:50
oops, sorry about that
Coach Urban Meyer said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:50
Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? It appears as if you elitist left-wing Sadly, D’oh!ers are making fun of the former number one movie in America. What’s that? Out of touch with mainstream Americans once again, loony libs? Perish the thought! The Cool Coach, it should be said, actually saw Paul Blart and thought it was some funny stuff. Kevin James is hilarious! Badoodle-boo-yeah!
But keep up with this silly blart stuff, loony libs, and watch as your precious Obummer loses all credibility with Terrible Tom Dasshole and the rest of his kooky krew all about the failboat! What’s that? Other than the blart blart blar? That’s right, it’s a SPREAD of TRUTH, comin right from the Cool Coach. Urban out.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:50
Relax. I suspect your blart will go on.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:51
Blarten down by the Cool Coach again!
Give me more blarts less sharts please said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:51
85 blarts in 40 minutes!
That’s really freaking BLAR-TAC-U-LAR
Smut Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:52
I now have the jingle “Free Credit Report Blart Com” in my head
If it’s any consolation, my head is occupied by a stream of blarts as performed by Cannibal Corpse.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:52
Tim Teblart wears Greg Blarty pajamas
J— said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:53
Happy, happy, blart, blart.
His Grace the Duke of Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:54
How do smurfs say blart?
Blartmark This, Liberals said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:55
Blartamania’s runnin wild, brother!
Salad said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:55
Spongeblart Squarepants.
I Left My Blart in San Francisco
Xecklothxayyquou Blartchrist said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:55
Happy, happy, blart, blart.
Moar proof that the public really really wants more conservative entertainment.
And loves blarts.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:56
Fear of a Blart Planet.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:56
Palin/Blart 2012! Suck it libs!
John D. said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:56
A blast from the past:
Here we come…
Blartin’ through th’ town…
Trippin’ over our big feet,
Fat heads hit th’ ground!
Hey, hey, we’re the Blarties!
And people say we’re ugly fat clowns!
Well, we’re too busy Blarting,
our big fat asses wobblin’ around!!!
We’re just tryin’ to make money!!
As stars in this contemptible swill!
Awkward, mindless and clumsy,
Fat dolts fall down as far right nuts shill!!!
Hey, hey, we’re the Blarties!
Stupid, useless, sweaty, fat-assed!
Ugly, brainless and worthless,
Soon to have a triple-bypass!
Blartmark This, Liberals said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:56
How do smurfs say blart?
The same way the Marklar do.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:57
Can’t wait for ♫ Blart – The Musical ♫
I really mean that.
D. Aristophanes said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:57
Upblart: Holy Blart, Blartman – Uncanny Canadian anticipated Blart way blart in December, 2006!
http://blog.3bulls.net/?p=1367#comment-58495
Gentlewoman said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:58
Blart me, daddy, eight to the blart.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:58
Daschle went down in flames libs.
ROFLMBO!
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:58
Hey J—, turns out that the blarts about Fender raising prices was blart. Thirty percent. For example, an American Standard Blart that was a thousand blarts is now 1275 blarts. Sucks blarts. I’d like a John Mayer blart but I’m not paying near Les Blart prices for one.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:59
Blartstopping news!
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 0:59
ROFLMBO!
blarthole.
blartbear1 said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:00
In Space, no one can hear you blart.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:00
Palin/Blart 2012!
That frankly would not surprise me.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:00
“Hey J—, turns out that the blarts about Fender raising prices was blart. Thirty percent. For example, an American Standard Blart that was a thousand blarts is now 1275 blarts. Sucks blarts. I’d like a John Mayer blart but I’m not paying near Les Blart prices for one.”
Save your money for a Paul Reed Blart. That’s the only advice you looney libs will get from this blart.
John D. said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:01
“Happy Madison [Adam Sandler's production company] historically has been very reluctant to do sequels,” says a hopeful [Sony producer Doug] Belgrad. “But we believe there is an opportunity to make another Paul Blart movie.”
Wait a minute…Adam Sandler is responsible for the Blart movie? I might have known…
Saul said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:01
Blart gentlemen.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:01
PRBlarts are tacky as hell, Redblarter. I don’t care how well constructed.
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:01
not to mention blartbag, blartnozzle and blartwad!
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:02
What do you expect from blartering blartbobs of blartism?
Blart B. "Blart" McBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:03
*weeps gently*
John D. said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:03
Has Little Blart Simpson pulled any pranks at Blartfield Elementary School lately?
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:04
blartism in the defense of blarty is no blartue.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:04
I did not have blart with that blart.
Neon Ovenblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:06
Yeah, it’s been one of those blarts.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:07
In honor of his 200th birthday, here’s some Bobby Blart (goes best when read aloud and don’t forget the brogue)
Oh my blart’s like a red red blart that’s newly sprung in blart
Oh my blart’s like a blartody, sweetly played in blart
Blarty Blartblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:07
The blart is, blart liberal blart blart blart never blart in the blartland.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:08
I don’t know blart, but I know what I like
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:08
I’ll be blart…
Blart C Blartblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:09
“Bobby” Blart? “Bobby”? Shurely shome mishtake? You must mean Rabbie Blart.
That's Sir Paul McBlartny to you said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:09
It’s been a long blart’s blart.
Blart Blart Blart Bastard said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:11
BLART! Blartin’ Blarter’s Blartin’ Blarted!
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:11
Ewwwwww
Another kiwi said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:12
This thread has been oblarterated
We will be greeted as liblartors
B. Lartistophanes said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:13
Present Indicative:
yo blarto
tú blartes
él/usted blarte
nosotros blartemos
vosotros blartéis
ellos/ustedes blarten
Imperfect:
yo blartía
tú blartías
él/usted blartía
nosotros blartíamos
vosotros blartíais
ellos/ustedes blartían
Preterite:
yo blartí
tú blartiste
él/usted blartió
nosotros blartimos
vosotros blartisteis
ellos/ustedes blartieron
Future:
yo blarteré
tú blarterás
él/usted blarterá
nosotros blarteremos
vosotros blarteréis
ellos/ustedes blarterán
Conditional:
yo blartería
tú blarterías
él/usted blartería
nosotros blarteríamos
vosotros blarteríais
ellos/ustedes blarterían
Imperative:
tú blarte
él/usted blarta
nosotros blartamos
vosotros blarted
ellos/ustedes blartan
Present Subjunctive:
yo blarta
tú blartas
él/usted blarta
nosotros blartamos
vosotros blartáis
ellos/ustedes blartan
Imperfect Subjunctive:
yo blartiera
tú blartieras
él/usted blartiera
nosotros blartiéramos
vosotros blartierais
ellos/ustedes blartieran
Gerund:
blartiendo
Past Participle:
blartido
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:13
tip o’ the
day hour minutepicosecondTags in
__________ Name
work in preview but then WP eatses them, I just found out
Blart you WordPress!
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:14
Blart HUSSEIN Oblarta lieberals! WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERBLART?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig Or A Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:14
Here are the lyrics to the “Blart Song”, sung to the tune of Smells Like Teen Blart by Nirblarta, the groundbreaking Blart group from Seablattle:
Blart, blart, blart blart blart.
Blart, blart – blart blart blart!
Blarting blart, blartily blart, blartness blart.
Blart! Blart! Blart-t-t-t-t-t!
Blart.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:15
Rusty! You finally got around to googllating it, eh?
Dan Someblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:16
The Blart is a Lonely Hunter
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:17
If anyone has, for reasons which I could not possibly fathom, NOT been to UD and otherwise googlized ‘blart.’, you must do so immediately.
This is a new rule.
blartbear1 said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:20
It’s a blartache, nothing but a blartache
Dim-witted bladger said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:23
Blartin’ blarticans.
Blart Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:25
“Bobby” Blart? “Bobby”? Shurely shome mishtake?
Shame! Shame! Shame again, barman!
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:26
Sorry about the “Bobby”. They refused to give me treatment in the Serious Burns ward.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:26
Um, I’ll be back later.
Blart Delano Roseblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:28
I pledge you, I pledge myself, to a New Blart for the American people.
verblartser said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:29
Mein Fuhrer, I can blart.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:30
It’s a bird! It’s a Plane! It’s blart!
[this concludes this test of the wordpress tag blarting system]
Salad said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:30
The Pittsblart Steelers beat the Arizona Blartinals in the Superblart.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:31
Blart you wordpress. It looked great in preview.
so, ahem:
It’s a bird! It’s a Plane! It’s [sup]blart[/sup]!
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:34
Ha. He blarted.
wordblarti said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:37
B.Laristophanes wins the thread, if for no other reason than I just tried to order a taco from the roach coach, and used “blartieron” in a sentence.
The Guatemalan gave no sign of having heard; probably still better than the mangled Spanglish he’s subjected to by the gringo Contractors on the jobsites he makes the rounds of…
wordblarti said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:38
Ellos han blartido tan fuerte que no es posible continuar blartiendo por un rato.
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:40
I blart the sheriff, but I did not blart the deputy.
J— said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:41
Hey J—, turns out that the blarts about Fender raising prices was blart. Thirty percent. For example, an American Standard Blart that was a thousand blarts is now 1275 blarts. Sucks blarts. I’d like a John Mayer blart but I’m not paying near Les Blart prices for one.
Ouch. But I thought you said you were set with your Bartway One, or no?
Save your money for a Paul Reed Blart.
In the words of J Mascis, “Never use humblarters.”
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:42
Blart is the new Blart.
Simba B said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:43
I blart the sheriff
Was he cute?
Me said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:44
Does this mean that everyone can get this out of their systems in this one thread?
Most.tedious.shtick.ever.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:47
It’s like a blarterial sclerosis thing. Eventually the blart just seizes up.
robert green said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:47
high concept pitch i’m taking in to disney right now:
a blart and his monkey blart a blart. blart ensues!
written by blart a. blart and to be directed by blarty mcblart. blart blartstein attached to star.
don’t even think about stealing it.
Legalize said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:47
Anyone ever read Blart Merblartian by Cormac McBlarty? I just finished it. It’s a pretty Blart blart.
Blart this blarting thread!
The Cat said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:49
When a Sadly, No! thread has several hundred comments, it’s filled with trolls and/or blarts.
Blart Buchwald said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:50
I’m blarting my lawyer right now.
William F Blartley said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:00
We conservatives stand athwart history shouting BLART!
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:01
Now this is Blart we can believe in!
OTB said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:02
Blar300t
Blart Zeppelin said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:02
Blartway to Heaven
A Tribe Called Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:04
Blarts upon blarts upon blarts is what I have.
Willy Blarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:09
Blarty trolls are blart.
Blart Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:10
Flammende Blerzen.
a different blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:10
My fav album ever is Sgt Blart’s Lonely Blarts Club Blart, by the Blartles.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:11
Sadly, No!
Blart Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:12
BYWP for eating my “Flammende Blerzen” link.
A Tribe Called Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:14
Oh my Blart, yes oh my Blart, oh my Blart yes oh my Blart.
EnfantTerrible said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:14
Blart Dawn
“Blartervines!”
Does that kill the thread?
Blart C Blartblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:16
Blart this shit.
Eric B(lart) & Rakim said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:17
Eric B(lart) for president.
Will Blartz said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:18
Can I get some help for next Wednesday’s crossword blart? I’m re-cluing it now. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
ACROSS
1 – blart
2 – blartable
3 – old blart
4 – blarting?
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:19
BLARTERINES!!!11!!
Also, BYWP for blarting up the link.
Another kiwi said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:20
You know voted for it Blart one. You know who voted against it? Me.
MzBlarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:21
Blart, Blart, bo-Blart,
Banana-fana fo-fart,
Fee-fi-mo-mart
Blart!
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:22
Ahem,
Sadly, No!
Chimpy McBlartFart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:23
heckuva job, Blarty.
Willy Blarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:23
That’s one small blart for [a] man, one giant leap for Blartkind.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:25
BLART you WP!!
One more blarting time.
Saly, No!
blartily blartle blart
Willy Blarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:25
Ooopsies, I blarted…
That’s one small blart for [a] man, one giant blart for Mankind.
M. Blartant said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:27
Fuck you & the blart you rode in on!
MzBlarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:28
Me said,
Most.tedious.shtick.ever.
Hey Me: Blart you, you blarting blart-hole. Don’t find this blarty blart funny? Go blart yourself already.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, deBlart my cello scrotum said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:28
O Other, Where Blart Thou?
lil' Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:29
Cuz I’m the blartyman, blarty bla blartyman
I got that blart Ima hollain’
I got that blart come an’ try it an
You can spark it up but Ima blart you out!
Dragon-King Wangchuck, deBlart my cello scrotum said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:31
Another summer,
Blart of the Blarty drummer.
¡El Gato Negro! said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:32
Dude, who blarted?
Dragon-King Wangchuck, deBlart my cello scrotum said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:32
Blart, Blarty and the Pursuit of Blartiness
MarkusR said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:36
Sadly, Blart!
ahem said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:38
Who de blart king? I’m de blart king.
Blart-ris said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:38
I tell you, your empty Blart is unBlartable. The blarteen million Blarts in the Blart ceiling, the Blart CoaBlartion of Blartgan Democrats and the Blarts of Blart-palacia are going to… What was I blarting about again? Clearly this is all just misogyny, and Blart.
Blartara Mandrell & Blart Jones said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:48
I was blart before blart was cool.
Five Feet of Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:49
Hello!
Blartmark This, Liberals said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:51
So has anyone visited Blartcop.com lately? Blartaryis44? Daily Blart? Blarts and Liars? Media Blarters?
Jenniblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:55
I still think BLARTACUS tops them all.
Worst Blart Ever said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:58
Turn around….
It’s a total eclipse of the blaarrrrt!!
sean said,
February 4, 2009 at 2:59
I regret that I have but one blart to give for my country.
Nablart Hale said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:01
I only regret that I have but one blart to lose for my blarty.
Nablart Hale said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:01
woah. weird.
blart.
Quaker in a Basement said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:03
Jonah Goldblart, is that you?
Worst Blart Ever said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:06
blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,
Blart C Blartblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:07
FOR BLART’S SAKE
alli said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:14
If Michael Phelps had a blart of blart in his blart, he’d have known better than to blart that blart at a blart party in Blart Carolina. Now he won’t make any blart for the rest of his career. And I thought he blarted about the blart!!
DIEWPDIE said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:15
blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blartblart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,bla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lart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:17
Me said,
February 4, 2009 at 1:44
Does this mean that everyone can get this out of their systems in this one thread?
Most.tedious.shtick.ever.
Nope. I’m throwing that flag on the boring bigot troll.
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:23
Most.tedious.shtick.ever.
Just be glad no one’s impersonating Ann Blarthouse yet.
Blart G said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:24
Just be glad no one’s impersonating Ann Blarthouse yet.
Or Blann Blarthouse.
Syd Blarret said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:27
Set the controls for the blart of the sun
t4toby said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:29
I just got an incredible deal down at Wal-Blart!
Jenniblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:30
Blart on, you crazy diamond.
Wyatt Watts III said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:32
The Queen of Blarts,
She made some blarts,
All on a summer’s day:
The Knave of Blarts,
He stole the blarts,
And took them clean away.
The King of Blarts,
Call’d for the blarts,
And beat the knave full sore:
The Knave of Blarts
Brought back the blarts,
And vow’d he’d steal no more.
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:32
Mall Cop 2: Electric Blart-aloo
Wyatt Wattblart III said,
February 4, 2009 at 3:46
Is anyone familiar with the great operas of Blartissimo Blartini? They include:
Madame Blarterfly
La Blartiata
Le Nozze de Blartaro
Blarti Fan Tutte
Un Blarto in Maschera
Blarterdämmerung
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:01
Whoah, in all this Blarting, I missed the Cool Blart, Urban Blarter.
Umm, actually the number one movie is TakenBlart. Paul Blart is actually number two (you’ll be seeing variations of that sentence for thext few Blarts).
Blarthur C. Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:03
Any sufficiently blarted blart is indistinguishable from magic
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:03
Blart my Blartnigs. What I meant to say was “Paul Blart is number two (you’ll be blart blart blart blart blart)”
Another kiwi said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:05
What blart of “Blart this, don’t you understand?”
Another kiwi said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:06
Blathur C. Blart: A Fall of Blartdust was your best
Chris Blartin said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:14
Blarts came flying from the underground;
If you could blart it then you’d understand.
Blartold Brecht said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:16
Oh the blart has pretty teeth dear,
And he shows them pearly white
Just a blart-knife has Blartheath dear
And he keeps it out of sight.
Blart-Z said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:20
Ain’t no love in the blart of the city.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:21
Is anyone familiar with the great operas of Blartissimo Blartini?
I’m partial to Bela Blartok.
Candy said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:28
Some folks are putting the blart before the horse. Then again, a blart in time saves nine. It’s better to blart and run away and live to blart another day.
I remember fondly the summer that Ann & Nancy of Blart released their big hit Blartacuda. And who can forget Dreamblart Annie? And Blartless?
Blartless, blartless
Never never out of control
Blartless, blartless
You keep on blarting in the name of rock and roll.
Bill said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:35
Did he compose Caliblartification?
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:41
As much as Ann Blartson’s voice is the total Blart, my favorite Blart song is These Blarts (probably because I’m a blartimental blart).
These Blarts, go on when I blart my eyes
Every second of the blart, I blart another life
These Blarts, that blart when it’s blart outside
Every moment I’m a blart, the further I’m a blart.
Blartrat Love™³²®© said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:44
This is for you, Henry
~
Blartrat Love™³²®© said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:45
sigh..
Looks like muskrat love!
Sammy said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:47
Malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich. Malkovich? Malkovich malkovich malkovich, malkovich malkovich.
Die Brüder Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 4:50
Of course you haff enjoyed our stories?
Rumpelblartskin
Snow Blart
Sleeping Blart
Blartunzell
Blartella
Hansel and Gretel (their lawyers wrote a seriously binding contract)
t4toby said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:01
D’oh!
BLAAAART!!! Why you little…
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:03
heh heh you said blart heh hen heh
Joyce Carol Oates said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:06
Because it is bitter, and because it is my blart.
Janis Joplin said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:07
Take another little piece of my blart baby
the blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:08
Jena Six! Answer me! Jena Six! Answer me!
Snowwy said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:09
Prepare for blarting speed!
Admiral Blartagut said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:09
Blart the torpedoes! Full blart ahead!
Candy said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:10
Remember Blartie Angel? I have no use for the trollish vixen, but she did give me the invaluable phrase Blart Blart Blartity Blart Blart.
Simba B said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:10
This is officially the stupidest thread ever, but it’s still making me smile.
The Yardbirds said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:10
Got a blaa-aartful of soul
Gérblart de Nerval said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:10
She does not blart, and she reminds me of the sea.
Van Buren Benny said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:14
You gotta have Blart! All ya really need is Blart!
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig Or A Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:14
OT, but the blartter sales campaign that Johnny Blarton made an ad for is working.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2009/feb/03/dairycrestgroup-sexpistols
Michael Corleone said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:16
Fredo! You broke my blart.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig Or A Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:18
The Blart Uncertainty Principle is a fundamental principle of physics: the blarticity, and the blartiness, of a blart cannot be simultaneously ascertained.
Candy said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:21
Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new blartocracy. – Franz Blartka
Played Out Joke said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:26
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Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart
Anne Oljoak said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:27
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Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart 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Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart
Annoying Dude Who Quotes Old Python Skits and Ritually Recites One-Liners from Various Old Movies and TV Shows at Every Opportunity said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:29
Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart 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Bring Back Dull-As-Fuck Flamewars, At Least They're Not Quite As Smugly Pleased With Themselves said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:32
Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart 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Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart
Blartrat Love™³²®© said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:32
Played out joke should know.
At last, people are as stupit as played out joke.
Later on, boring bigot troll and played out joke will sit around and watch archie bunker while beating off.
blartbear1 said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:34
Wow! Who was that squealing blart?
Ralph Nader said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:37
Bring Back Dull-As-Fuck Flamewars, At Least They’re Not Quite As Smugly Pleased With Themselves said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:32
Get lost.
Another kiwi said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:37
Only the Blartman knows
Blart Oyster Cult said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:38
Don’t fear the blarter.
Ralph Nader said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:39
Looks like my bete noir is here to ruin another thread!
freejack said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:40
Blart threads, the ultimate troll killers.
Blarterines! ( http://footballjesus.wordpress.com/2007/11/16/ )
maya said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:41
I was in Starblarts today nursing a Caramel Macchiablarto while reading all about the Anblart Awakening that so changed the landscape in Blartdahg, when on the tv appears Prez Barack Hussein Oblarta to tell us that he screwed up with Blartshel but really wants bi-blartisanship to work for the stimuless blartage or else we’re all on the Blartanic without a Leoblarto Diblartio in sight
I’m off to Puerto Vablarta till it all blows over.
Kim Carnes said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:57
Total eclipse of the Blart.
Bonnie Tyler said,
February 4, 2009 at 6:17
Sorry, Kim. That’s mine.
The REAL Kim Carnes said,
February 4, 2009 at 6:29
She’s got Blarty Davis eyes.
Russ Blarter said,
February 4, 2009 at 6:35
Blarter Pussycat, Blart, Blart!
This Place Has Descended Into Mediocrity said,
February 4, 2009 at 6:47
Buh-bye for now. Perhaps there’ll be a reason to come back soon. I hope so.
Jim said,
February 4, 2009 at 6:50
Hey … Hey!
You missed a space. It’s right there – 24 Blarts from the top, between the 15th and 16th Blarts.
Froley said,
February 4, 2009 at 6:56
Jon & Kate Plus Blart
Mick&Keith said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:19
Blart Me Up!
Mr. Tactful said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:32
Live! With Regis and Blarty
FlipYrWhig said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:35
Yes, I actually checked back in on this thread. I also touch ovens I know are hot, just to make sure.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:35
I’ll never be your beast of blarten.
Bina said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:36
Blart me no Blarts!
Sir Heh Indeedington said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:40
Wow. That’s all it takes to get rid of Troofy? Blart.
ZenMasterBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:40
awareness of all
internet blartitions I
shorter dot blart
noen said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:40
Ringo, Blart, John and Blart.
the blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:42
Where’s “teh blarty” now, eh libs?
Unless you’re talking about me.
noen said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:47
Schrödinger’s Blart is neither dead nor blart until the blart wave blarts.
ZenMasterBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:47
I don’t want to hijack the thread blarts…but Liam Blartson kicks some serious blart in Taken.
Dan Coyle said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:49
I’m not a Blartist. Thats what’s so insane about Blart.
commie atheist said,
February 4, 2009 at 7:55
The Obama blart is expected to impose a blart of $500,000 for top executives at blarts that receive large amounts of bailout blart, according to blarts familiar with the plan.
Executives would also be prohibited from receiving any blarts above their base blart, except for normal blart blarts.
“That is pretty draconian — $500,000 is not a lot of blarts, particularly if there is no blart,” said James F. Blart, founder and managing director of James F. Blart & Associates, a blart consulting firm. “And you know these blarts that are in trouble are not going to pay much of an annual blart.”
Woody Allen said,
February 4, 2009 at 8:05
How wrong Emily Blartinson was! Hope is not “the blart with feathers.” The blart with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Blartich.
Urban Dictionary said,
February 4, 2009 at 8:21
blart
1. A fart with blood in it. When you strain to fart, blood sprays into your underwear.
After jaay got rid of his wicked case of buttslaw, he still had the occasional painful blart.
2. one or more fake-tanned scantily-clad tattooed young ladies whose typical Friday evening’s entertainment would consist of excessive alcohol consumption, giggling loudly whilst dancing around handbags, and urinating in the street. This to be followed by vigorous sexual intercourse with random males of the species, either up against a wall, over some rubbish bins or in a skip. The above phenomena can be observed between the hours of 11pm – 4am Friday evenings on the streets of any town or city in the north of England.
“how man lets get wersels in there man it’s wall to wall wi blart”
3. When you go to fart blood come out. It is a mixture of the word blood and fart hence “blart”
Oh my god, I was sitting at a meeting and this dude started to blart everywhere.
4. A blasting fart. The sound can be described as trumpet-like… loud, high-pitched and choppy.
After a big chili dinner, I was kept up all night by my lover’s gunshot blarts and my bedroom now smells like beans.
5. Accidental bloody discharge when trying to fart.
I had to change my underware after I blarted.
6. A queef (or vagina fart) while menstruating. Causes a gush of blood and gurgling sound.
“Shena was having a heavy period. Only sex would make it all better. Jeff wanted to fuck her doggy style. This made Shena BLART. Jeff laughed as the blart vibrated his penis and spritzed blood against his abdomen.
7. Quite simply, a joint. Can be either hashish or weed. Also known as a blarty.
I really fancy a nice blart(y)
Johnny Pez said,
February 4, 2009 at 8:36
I don’t know much about blart, but I know what I like.
Johnny Pez said,
February 4, 2009 at 8:44
Btw, if you were wondering whether Frau Schlussel had completely plumbed the depths of insanity, the answer is no.
Emblarted Bull Limpet said,
February 4, 2009 at 8:58
The National Endowment for the Blarts just called to demand their grant money back.
Blart for blart’s sake is all well and good, but your blartistic license is hereby revoked.
dim-witted badger said,
February 4, 2009 at 9:04
fucking blarts
Black Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 9:22
“I’ve labored long and hard for blart,
For honor, and for riches,
But on my corns too long you’ve blart,
You fine-haired sons of bitches.”
- Black Blart, 1877
justme said,
February 4, 2009 at 10:23
And just where did we descend from? Strikes me as flattery, really.
blartblartyblartbuhblart
Smut Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 11:37
This Place Has Descended Into Mediocrity
Since my entire life has been a struggle to ascend into mediocrity, I am taking this as a compliment.
The Blartenters sang said,
February 4, 2009 at 11:43
Blart,
Blart a song,
Blart it loud,
Blart it long!
Don’t worry if it’s not blart enough, for anyone else to blart,
Just blart,
Blart a song!
Ba-baba-baba
B-ba-baba-baba
B-ba-ba-baba-ba-BLART!
bago said,
February 4, 2009 at 11:50
Obligitory bar thirty blart.
tensor said,
February 4, 2009 at 12:01
Let’s not forget that great Elizabethan gay sex comedy film, Shakespeare in Blart.
tensor said,
February 4, 2009 at 12:07
“They [the Blartmanges] mean to win Wimbledon!” — M. Blart
Leon Blartsky, Exile-in-Mallxico said,
February 4, 2009 at 12:28
Blart.
islmfaoscist said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:04
Obama must either blart his Auntie Zeituni or blart his own credibility.
islmfaoscist said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:08
“Obama must either blart his Aunt Zeituni or blart his own credibility.”
Blarty Ruppert said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:09
The blart is, you’re all blart.
me said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:17
This is all very well. But is it Blart?
Albert Blartstein said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:24
E=m(blart)2
Cicero said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:25
“Nature has formed you, desire has trained you, fortune has preserved you for this blart.”
Martin Luther Blart, Jr. said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:26
“I have a blart…”
Tech News said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:28
Apple introduces it’s newest product, the iBlart.
Everett Blartsen said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:30
“A blart here, a blart there, pretty soon you’re talking about real blarts.”
Lewis Carroll Blart (Esq.) said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:31
“Twas brillig, and the slithy blarts did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the boroblarts, and the mome wraths outgrabe…”
JFK (deceased) said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:32
Ask not what your blart can do for you…
John Blartkowsky (Future Senator) said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:34
Blart fight!
JFK (Still Deceased) said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:35
We will put a blart on the moon…
Ezzthetic said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:37
I think you missed a blart.
You’re one blart short of a full blart-load.
Kurt Cobain (Dead) said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:39
Load up on blarts, and bring your friends;
It’s fun to blart, and to pretend…
Jesus H. Christ (Excruciatingly Dead) said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:40
What you did to these the least of my blarts, you did also to me.
Richard Blartkins said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:41
We are almost certain blart does not exist.
L. Pontius Pilatus said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:43
I wash my hands of this blart!
G. Julius Caeserus said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:44
I came, I saw, I blarted.
Nero said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:45
I fiddled while Rome blarted!
Francis Scott Not-Quite-on-Key said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:47
Oh say can you blart
By the blart’s early light
What so proudly we blart
By the blarting’s last blarting?
Abe Lincoln, Monumentally Dead said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:48
Fourscore and seven blarts ago,
Our forefathers did blart upon this new land…
Dwight Eisenhower, Far Too Late, said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:49
Beware the blarting military-industrial blart!
Ronald Reagan's Apologists said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:51
Our Saint never sold blarts to Iran!
Jimmy Peanut Farmer said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:54
We must reduce our dependency upon foreign blart.
Karl Marx Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 13:56
From each according to his ablartablartilites, to each according to his blarts.
The Goddman Blartman Prefers Less Fey Sidekicks Than Blart Ward said,
February 4, 2009 at 14:02
I wish I could have co-starred in Brokeblart Mountain!
Amy Aikon's Private Dick said,
February 4, 2009 at 14:04
My thorough investigation reveals you so-called “Sadlynaughts” will never penetrate my client’s Shit Blart.
fffffffff said,
February 4, 2009 at 14:08
someone make it stop
Ann Althouse's Narcissistic Spirals said,
February 4, 2009 at 14:58
We are BLARTA!
me said,
February 4, 2009 at 14:58
There’s probably a Blart. Now start worrying and blart yourself.
Willy Blarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 15:19
Jonah Goldblart’s forthcoming book, “Liberal Blartism” exposes the blartist tendencies of the Left.
Arnold Blartzeneggar said,
February 4, 2009 at 15:21
I’ll be blart.
Pimply Teen Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 15:24
Dude, her mom’s totally a MILB.
MzBlarty said,
February 4, 2009 at 15:25
Be still my bleating blart.
Eric B(lart) & Rakim said,
February 4, 2009 at 15:25
Annoying Dude Who Quotes Old Python Skits and Ritually Recites One-Liners from Various Old Movies and TV Shows at Every Opportunity said,
February 4, 2009 at 5:29
Sorry to interrupt your temper tantrum but if you’re still around it’s Blart’s blarthday today and we’re having a litlle blarty for him including some yummy blarthday cake. Won’t you please stand around being cheerful with us. It’ll be so pleasant! kthxbye!
P.S. Blart!
A hyper-intelligent shade of the color blue said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:16
slartiblartfast?
Erik W said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:17
Perseveration is the new blart.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:29
As Vincent Van Gogh once said, “One may have a blazing hearth in one’s soul and yet no one ever came to blart.”
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:39
Inblartus
OUT of the blart that covers me,
Blart as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever blarts may be
For my unblartiable soul.
In the fell blart of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried ablart.
Under the blartgeonings of chance
My head is blarty, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of blart and tears
Looms but the Horror of the blart,
And yet the menace of the blarts
Finds, and shall find, me unablart.
It matters not how blart the gate,
How charged with blartiments the scroll,
I am the blartster of my fate:
I am the captain of my blaaaaart!!!
Timothy McVeigh’s fave; deserves blarting.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:47
mingo, who doesn’t love William Ernest Blartney? He’s almost as meaningful to men in crisis as Blartyard Kipling. Just ask Rod Blartojevich.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:52
My name is Blartimandias, King of Mall Cops
Look on my works, ye mighty, and deblart!
g said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:53
If it walks like a blart, quacks like a blart, swims like a blart, it’s probably a blart.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:57
blart – the final frontier
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 16:58
J__,
But I thought you said you were set with your Bartway One, or no?
Yeah, but as Phil Gramm said about guns, I say about guitars: I have more than I need, but less than I want.
Nice quote from Mascis BTW. Are you related? Same first name and all…
P.S. blart
D.N. Nation said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:01
Creed.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:02
D.N. Nation said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:01
Creed.
Great! Now I have to go blart my brain…
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:02
dang you, flip, blartyard was next!!!
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:04
Jon Blart Jovi’s “Shot Through The Blart (And You’re To Blame)” is stupendous.
Dayv said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:05
Plz 2 ad me to yuor lits.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:07
Fucking Creed! Godammit, shit… FUCK!
Blart Blartman said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:09
When lilacs last in the doorblart bloom’d,
And the great blart early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning
blart.
Ever-returning blart, trinity sure to me you blart,
Lilac blarting perennial and blarting blart in the west, And thought of him I love.
O powerful western fallen blart! O shades of night — O moody, tearful night! O great blart disappear’d — O the black murk that hides the blart! O cruel hands that hold me powerless — O helpless soul of me! O harsh surrounding cloud that will not free my soul.
In the doorblart fronting an old blart-house near the white-wash’d palings, Stands the lilac-bush tall-growing with blart-shaped leaves of rich green, With many a pointed blartsom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love, With every leaf a miracle — and from this bush in the doorblart, With delicate-color’d blossoms and blart-shaped leaves of rich green, A sprig with its flower I break.
In the swamp in secluded recesses, A shy and hidden blart is warbling a song. Solitary the thrush, The hermit withdrawn to himself, avoiding the settlements, Sings by himself a song.
Song of the blarting blart, Death’s outlet blart of life, (for well dear brother I know, If thou wast not blarted to sing, thou would’st surely die.)
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:12
sheer blartry.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:12
The government is the problem, except when it comes to policing vaginas.
Candy said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:22
Wow, this is one thread that’s stayed mostly on topic, if the topic be blart.
I have a blart interview this AM. Wish me blart.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:23
Blart, Candy, Blart a leg!
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:24
Break a blart, Candy.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:24
Damn!
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:25
lotsa blart, Candy
aaaand…
“It was a blart and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent blart of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), blarting along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the blarty flame of the lamps that struggled against the blartness.”
–Edward George Blartwer-Lytton, Paul Blartford
Candy said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:28
Thanks all!
Sallyingblarting forth!Johnny Coelablart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:35
Blah. Art?
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:37
Dear S,N! overlords: please, please do this one. It’s just… I have no words.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:44
Better late than never, rotsa blart Candy!
M. Bouffant said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:47
Double plus un-Blart.
FlipYrWhig said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:48
(with apologies to mingo)
A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Blart—and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderblart–
Oh, Wilderblart were Paradise enow!
–Edward FitzGerald, The Rubaiblart of Omar Kayyam
Dragon-King Wangchuck, debunk my cello scrotum said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:50
Lipstick on a Blart.
They are to the north, south, east and west of Blart-dad.
You have your known blarts and then you have your unknown blarts.
P.S. Creed
sucksexerts negative pressure on it’s surroundings.mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:53
“The Moving Finger blarts….”
Xecklothxayyquou Blartchrist said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:53
Who was that masked scroll troll? From the nyms, I’d guess one of the regulars.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:54
My gaydar, which is nearly infallible, sez Sadly, No!
I’m pretty sure he could find the experience he’s missing at the gay gym.
Xecklothxayyquou Blartchrist said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:57
They couldn’t care less about testing their manhood or straining under some heavy iron.
Hmm… does trying to bring my middle-age gut under control qualify?
Blartimus Prime said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:58
All right you primitive screwblarts, listen up–
This… is my BLART-STICK!!!
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:58
I’ve never seen a “red-blooded man” complain so much about being forced to view cleavage.
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 17:58
Who was that masked scroll troll? From the nyms, I’d guess one of the regulars.
I’d have pretended it wasn’t me if I had remembered to take the hyphen out. It’s just that debunking cello scrotums really blarts my blarting.
John D. said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:01
What about the classic Woody Allen films:
Love And Blart
Annie Blart
Blarthatten
Crimes And Misdeblarters
Husbands And Blarts
Annnnnnnddd…That’s it for me.
Megablart said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:07
o/` Autoblarts wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Deceptiblarts… o/`
Jacob Singer said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:09
I hope this thread gets this shit out of your systems already. Sheesh.
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:09
Ro-blarts in disguise.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:12
It’s Nietzsche’s theory of eternal blart come to life.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:15
The thought hit me at the gym today
That right there ought to disqualify him from calling himself a man. Any “man” who can think while he’s working out simply isn’t working it hard enough.
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:16
Rusty’s found himself a winnah there. Here’s the sign-off on Steven “I’m totally not gay, you gotta believe me” Crowder’s declaration of heterosexuality:
Umm, I guess not. Perhaps if I learned to feel shame, I could go about in stained sweat pants, reeking of stale beer and pizza, and treat women like objects. Incidentally Steven, if you’re going to bash us fey metrosexuals, you may want to change your photo for something a bit less clean-cut. And in conclusion, blart.
Lafcadio said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:17
Geez, Jacob, don’t have a blart attack.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:18
Perhaps if I learned to feel shame, I could go about in stained sweat pants, reeking of stale beer and pizza
I knew I forgot to turn off the webcam last night…
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:26
also, blart
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:26
Man that Steven is a thing of closet dwelling closet-ness.
Wait, weren’t you just on about how great it was when Men were Men and Women were Seen But Not Heard? Afterall, you are free from the pseudo-feminism running rampant has made men feel guilty about our very fiber so long we’ve conformed to a feminist mindset? Shouldn’t you be reaching out and grabbing SweetCherry69 by those breasts, insulting her a bit, maybe give her a coupla smacks – and then sweeping her off to have sex in your sports car?
Well, whatever. I hope Steven has better like finding a gym where bears hang out, so he can “bare knuckles box” them.
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:29
Ummm, and blart.
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:30
The thought hit me at the gym today
he noticed it because it represented such a rare occurence.
Rusty Shackleblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:30
Well, whatever. I hope Steven has better like finding a gym where bears hang out, so he can “bare knuckles box” them.
Real men don’t like the feel of leather or other materials to come between their skin when they engage in manly intimate activities.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:36
Real men don’t like the feel of leather or other materials to come between their skin when they engage in manly intimate activities.
This is why we subscribe to the Jesus’ General School of Naked Spartan Wrestling.
Now with Spatulas!
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:37
shit. occurrence.
I hope this thread gets this shit out of your systems already. Sheesh.
I think the sadly overblarts are hoping for this very thing.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:39
How the Hell does Obama expect bankers to work for less than 500,000 blarts? Suck it loony libs.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:40
The problem is that there is no longer a place for me to be what I am … a man.
Clearly, this guy has never been married, and probably never will.
J— said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:43
Hey, Candy, let us know how it went. I assume this is with a local legal office, no?
tigrismus said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:43
I was at a loss for words as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks… I was surrounded by dames and metros.
Any of whom could probably kick your pasty, bloggy ass if you tried the Etch-a-Sketch trick on them.
No “SweetCherry69,” I don’t want it. Congratulations, you have breasts. They’re no different from other breasts that have come before yours
Yeah, yeah, we know you don’t want it, you want to wrestle bears and Wolverine. Nothing wrong with that, Gymmy McStudlyburg, but if you don’t feel good about it it’s not the dames’ and metros’ faults.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 50% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:45
Steven’s commenters seem to agree that being a real man means being an untamed cowboy biker outlaw who plays by his own rules and doesn’t care what anybody else thinks and has a good job and is well-groomed and treats women with respect, and gnaws Harleys out of trees that he rips from the ground with his bare calloused hands and is blue collar and makes a lot of money and hard decisions.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:49
Rusty,
The irony is, within five years, half of them will be driving minivans or worse, hybrids!
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:51
If you drive a hybrid you’re a pussy!
justblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:51
The Telltale Blart
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 50% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:51
Within five years they’ll all be in Overlord Hussein X’s
exterminationglee camps.RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:51
I drive a GMC Yukon and if I could I’d mod it to run on dirty coal just to spite the eco-freaks!
J— said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:51
Yeah, but as Phil Gramm said about guns, I say about guitars: I have more than I need, but less than I want.
Tell me about it. I don’t need this one, but I sure as hell want it. I keep checking back to see if someone has relieved me of this temptation, but sadly, no. It is still there, haunting me.
Nice quote from Mascis BTW.
That’s from an interview with Guitar World. That’s what he came up with when the interviewer pressed him for advice for the youngsters.
Are you related?
Not that I’m aware of.
Blart Factoid Dispenser said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:53
Blart Starr was the hero of Blart Bowl I
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 50% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:55
J—, that Tele puts me in mind of this.
Mrodtikhil said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:55
IT DOESN’T EVEM NAKE SENS
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:56
Hey libs, how’d it feel to have Tax Cheat Daschle go down in flames?
Obama’s administration is turning into a disaster!
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:58
The problem is that there is no longer a place for me to be what I am … a man.
I guess we can conclude that he is, in fact, not a man anymore, then.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 18:59
Within five years they’ll all be in Overlord Hussein X’s
exterminationglee camps.We’ll stick them in some asshole-smelling red state, like Texass or Oklablarta, right next to the OMG!TERRORISTS! that can teach them how to be reeeeeeeeeeeeeal men if you know what I mean…
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:00
I guess we can conclude that he is, in fact, not a man anymore, then.
I think you are giving him too much credit, mingo.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:00
“I drive a GMC Yukon and if I could I’d mod it to run on dirty coal just to spite the eco-freaks!”
Put your house thermostat at 95 degrees and also run your A/C at the same time. Then put your Yukon on blocks and run it continuously. These things will really piss off Liberals.
Finally, the little secret that Liberals have is that their most HATED thing is burning 100 dollar bills and paychecks. If you do this as long as you have any money at all, it will really, really make Liberals mad.
Just do it.
Matt McMahon said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:00
Blarts, Blarts, Blarts who hate Paul Blart, lend me your Blarts; I come to bury Blart, not to praise him. First Blarts first: Blart recently claimed that Blart’s eternal Blart for Blart is a Blart to be avoided at all Blarts. I would have found this Blart shocking had I not heard similar Blart from him a hundred Blarts before. Whatever should be Blart of Blart and often ephemeral Blarts in human Blart, the Blart remains that if I try really, really hard, I can almost see why he would want to create profound emotional Blart for Blart on both Blarts of the Blart. Whatever else may be the case, it is certain that Blart not only lies but he brags about his Blart to his Blarts.
What, then, does “Blart” mean? It means considerably more than any Blart is likely to say. If I weren’t so forgiving, I’d have to say that Blart is an Blart to unctuous, debauched Blarts everywhere. They panegyrize his Blart to use mass Blart as a Blart of Blart and Blart and, more importantly, they don’t realize that my Blart is that we are starting to witness the negligent Blarts of Blart’s Blarts. He, in contrast, argues that it’s okay if his Blarts initially cause our Blart of Blart to degrade because “sometime”, “someone” will do “something” “somehow” to counteract that Blart. This Blart merely scratches the Blart of the ideological Blart festering between me and Blart. The only rational Blart to bridge this Blart is for him to admit that he has stated that Blarts should report only on Blarts he agrees with. One clear Blart from that Blart—an Blart that is never really disavowed—is that we’re supposed to shut up and smile when he says impulsive Blarts. Now that’s just vitriolic.
Blart has it all wrong; Blart cannot change his Blart. Blart merely enlarges the Blart in which Blart can, with ever-increasing Blart and Blart, reopen Blarts that seem scarcely healed. I don’t suppose he realizes which dialectic Blart he’s violating by maintaining that he’s merely trying to make this Blart a better place in which to live. Therefore, I shall take it upon myself to explain. Blart’s Blart that his press Blarts provide a liberating Blart into Blart, the Blart, and Blart is factually unsupported and politically motivated. Let us now exert a positive Blart on the Blart of Blart that Blart will live in a thousand Blarts from now because in that is our only Blart for the Blart.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:02
“Put your house thermostat at 95 degrees and also run your A/C at the same time. Then put your Yukon on blocks and run it continuously. These things will really piss off Liberals.”
Haha! It does have a remote start and in the summer I make sure to start it and run it for 30 minutes the cool it down, and in the winter run it for 45 minutes and make it REAL warm. I figure that makes up for all of Al Gore’s carbon offsets! LOL! I raise a lot of carbon that way!
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 50% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:02
I guess we can conclude that he is, in fact, not a man anymore, then.
His manhood occupies a zero-dimensional antispace.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:03
Couldn’t you just say he has a small dick, like RedState?
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:04
What do you drive actor212? Some little pussy Geo Metro lawn mower?
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:04
“Haha! It does have a remote start and in the summer I make sure to start it and run it for 30 minutes the cool it down, and in the winter run it for 45 minutes and make it REAL warm. I figure that makes up for all of Al Gore’s carbon offsets! LOL! I raise a lot of carbon that way!”
You’re just a piker. Be a Real Man and start burning those 100 dollar bills. It will really, really make Liberals mad.
What are you, a wimp, a simp, a pussy, or gay? JUST DO IT! If you’re a real man you know that pissing off Liberals is your prime motivation.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 50% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:05
Couldn’t you just say he has a small dick, like RedState?
I could, but to aver that he has a dick at all would be to go beyond the available evidence.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:06
Hm. Good point.
Give Steven credit, tho. At least he knows what the inside of a gym looks like.
You couldn’t say that about most red staters.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:06
“You’re just a piker. Be a Real Man and start burning those 100 dollar bills. It will really, really make Liberals mad.”
I’d rather use them to get a new pickup with HEMI POWER! :) They get terrible gas mileage! But who cares? Oil is cheap again!
justblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:07
lolblart
I remember the days when he couldn’t buy a gig in Amherst.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:07
BTW, where is that pussy Redstater? I drive a surplus US Army 6×6 with an 800 cubic inch Caterpillar diesel in it. I like crushing pussy conservative SUVs with it.
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:08
a rhetorical question put to all youse at large, since I am not a varmint-feeder, nuh-uh, nope:
When the wingnuts post an article such as this one at bigblartyhood, about how he can’t be a man anymore, and the commenters chime in with their weapons-grade stupid there and in other comment sections – Do they realize how badly they are exposing themselves (note: euw) as persons so unfamiliar with clue that they couldn’t recognize one in an overstocked clue factory???
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:09
“I drive a surplus US Army 6×6 with an 800 cubic inch Caterpillar diesel in it.”
Mod it to run on dirty coal! That’d kick ass!!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:10
“But who cares? Oil is cheap again!”
Thanks only to President Malcolm Hussein Obamafascist X
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:10
I am unable to comment over there, it seems. WTB?
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:11
“Mod it to run on dirty coal! That’d kick ass!!”
Just tell me where you live so I can come crush your pussy SUV.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:11
“Thanks only to President Malcolm Hussein Obamafascist X”
No, thanks to the threat of drilling offshore!
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:11
DRILL baby DRIIILLL!
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:12
liberals also REALLY hate it when manly wingnuts sneer in a manly manner and eat a WHOLE box of recalled peanut butter snacks, because FDA regulations are for pussies!!!11!!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:13
“No, thanks to the threat of drilling offshore!”
Wrong as usual. Where do you live? My baby is getting hungry to crush another pussy conservative’s SUV.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:13
As a liberal, the thing I hate the most is when people go see movies that got a bad review in the NYT. Holy shit does that cheese me off.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:14
You’re full of shit, hippie. You’re just another pussy little nanny stater liberal driving a little Jap Scrap Yaris.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:14
“FDA regulations are for pussies!!!11!!”
you got that much right! The FDA should be abolished.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:15
Do they realize how badly they are exposing themselves (note: euw) as persons so unfamiliar with clue that they couldn’t recognize one in an overstocked clue factory???
Mingo, I can only speak for myself.
The high art of trolling a right wing thread is to carefully let them know how stoopid they are coming off, without actually letting them in on the enormous gift they continually give to us in the reality-based community.
So to answer your question, no, they probably don’t, and I’m not about to tell them!
stryx said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:15
Holy Flaming Blart, Secrets!
I thought the whole blarting point of this abortion was to repel the blarting troll!
And now that stupid pathetic blart has returned and we’re right back where we were two days ago.
Pie. It’s what’s for blart.
Blart. It’s what’s for pie.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:16
As a liberal, the thing I hate the most is when people go see movies that got a bad review in the NYT.
I won’t see ANY movie that Victor David Hanson hasn’t jerked off to.
Dragon-Blart Blartchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:16
I don’t understand why being surrounded by big sweaty manly men is so very heterosexual, especially when you’re panting from exertion. Is it a “I’m so confident in my sexuality that I can shower with a bunch of super-butch alpha males – because with my erection, our penises are close to the same size” type of thing?
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:16
Hey, stryx? Is that blartberry pie?
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:18
Can you libs explain to me why we shouldn’t drill for oil and gas wherever we can?
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:18
“you got that much right! The FDA should be abolished.”
President Malcolm Hussein Obamafascist X is planning on doing that, but only for food and drugs sold to conservatives. His plan is to have conservatives only eat food and take medicine that is made in that Free Market paradise called China.
Now, where do you live? My truck is really getting hungry for an SUV to eat.
Lt. Colonel Bill Kilgore said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:18
I love the smell of blart in the morning. It smells like…blart.
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:18
So to answer your question, no, they probably don’t, and I’m not about to tell them!
actor, I love the one commenter in that article who is doing a patriotboy – something about how a REAL man welds concrete filled cans to steel pipes and grunts over them in his real-man garage. It was funnier thatn that, but I am not going back over there.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:19
I won’t see ANY movie that Victor David Hanson hasn’t jerked off to.
Did you like Enchanted? I heard it was good.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, missing Blart already said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:19
PENIS!
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:19
Blart would smell better than the 9/11 bedwetter smell around here.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:20
DBB,
I go to the gym, because the equipment I need to work out is way too costly for me to stock my basement, and also because of the carbon footprint buying that much iron for my personal use would create.
As to why it’s so “heterosexual,” I never took it to be sexual in any way, except to see women in spandex (and of course, the gym has the obligatory pool, so swimsuits, too).
But even then, I look, and then I go back to my routine.
About the only camraderie or social interaction I have is to maybe once in a while buddy up on free weights with someone to spot me/him, which can sometimes turn into a healthy competition.
But, as Clint Eastwood said in Blartbreak Ridge, “This doesn’t mean we’ll start taking showers together in the middle of the night.”
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:20
China has it right, not only to the drill, they also subsidize gasoline. We should do the same!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:20
“Can you libs explain to me why we shouldn’t drill for oil and gas wherever we can?”
Only in the backyards of conservatives. This is another plan that President Malcolm Hussein Obamafascist X will be enacting as soon as he gets his veto-proof majority in 2010.
justblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:21
Another Fred Thompson voter, I see.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:21
Hey Actor212, how much carbon do you save by doing that?
I need to know so I can produce the amount you save! ;)
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:22
China has it right, not only to the drill, they also subsidize gasoline. We should do the same!
Yes, because it’s all about you, Whiny McWhinerton. Wassa matta, Wal-Mart doesn’t pay you enough to buy gas at a fair price? Nanny state gotta buy it for you? Poor baby.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:22
Rusty, I did, and so did VDH, but there was some weird “only came when they all turned into cartoon men” thing that was creeping me out.
I’m so glad he gave “300″ a box and a half of Kleenex. Real men in real circumstances.
Errr, pun unintended.
Jacob Singer said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:22
I heard Al Gore say people should never, ever hit themselves repeatedly on the forehead with a ball-peen hammer, and that if they did, he would be really pissed. I hope this doesn’t get out to the wingnut blogs.
PeeJ with new improved megaBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:22
THIS IS EXCELLENT!!!! FOR BLART!!!!!
PeeJ with new improved megaBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:23
aw blart. EXCELLENT NEWS….
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:23
Say, doesn’t that other socialist, Chavez, subsidize gas?
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:23
“Yes, because it’s all about you, Whiny McWhinerton. ”
It’s about keeping up with China. Why should they get to drive Hummers on eight lane highways and grow their economy while we’re forced to drive lawn mowers because of the myth of global warming and Al Gore?
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:23
I heard Al Gore say people should never, ever hit themselves repeatedly on the forehead with a ball-peen hammer, and that if they did, he would be really pissed.
Really? Because I heard that was the best way to put carbon into the environment.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:24
China’s first fuel standard, 30.2 miles per gallon for the typical car, was imposed in 2005, and will be raised to 36 miles per gallon in 2008.
*AHEM*
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:25
It’s about keeping up with China
Aww, poor baby. Intimidated by those big Asian 4 inchers? I know that must hurt. But just because you want to jump off a bridge pretending you have a penis doesn’t mean the rest of the country should too.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:25
Excuse me, that should read China’s first fuel standard, 30.2 blarts per gallon for the typical blart, was imposed in 2005, and will be blarted to 36 miles per blart in 2008.
Carry on
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:25
Meanwhile, actor212, they start operating a new big coal-fired power plant every day, while BHO wants to bankrupt our coal industry!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:27
Hey pussy Redstater, whats the matter? Afraid to tell me where you live so I can come crush your pussy SUV? What kind of a fucking conservative PUSSY are you, anyway?
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:28
RedBlarter75 blarted,
February Blart, 2009 at 19:25
Blart, actor212, blart blart blarting a blart blart blart-blarted blarter blart blart blart, blart BlartHO blarts blart blartblart blart blart blartry!
Blarted your blart, blarthead.
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:29
Meanwhile, actor212, they start operating a new big coal-fired power plant every day, while BHO wants to bankrupt our coal industry!
It’s OK sweetums. We’ll take of you, after we take away any sharp objects. We’ll even help to keep the number of Chinese dead from self-inflicted wounds down in the tens of millions.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:29
“#
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:27
Hey pussy Redstater, whats the matter? Afraid to tell me where you live so I can come crush your pussy SUV? What kind of a fucking conservative PUSSY are you, anyway?
”
Go fuck yourself lib! You don’t even have a car, you take the bus! Probably a hybrid bus, too! ROFL! Loser!
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:29
Now, where the blart were we talking about that blarting blarthole over at BlartBlartywood?
Big Questions For RedPussy75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:29
How come conservatives are so scared that they whine about Muslims so much?
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:30
Red China: conservative utopia
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:30
How come libs are so scared they wine about carbon dioxide all the time?
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:30
Go fuck yourself lib
I do believe you touched a nerve there, Liberal Secrets. Its inadequacy is causing it to strike out at others.
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:31
How come libs are so scared they wine about carbon dioxide all the time?
You confuse fear and responsibility. That’s understandable in a Republican, since you have no concept of the latter.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:32
Oh noes Al Gore! SAVE US FROM CARBON!!!11!!11 THE BUBBLES IN MY PEPSI WILL KILL ME!
hahahah!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:32
“Go fuck yourself lib! You don’t even have a car, you take the bus! Probably a hybrid bus, too! ROFL! Loser!”
Ah, so that’s the problem. You don’t even OWN an SUV! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Let me know where you live. We’ll make a bet that I own a 6×6 with a Cat in it. If I don’t show up, you collect the bet. If I show up, I win the bet. Pretty simple.
Or are you scared little lying PUSSY conservative???
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:33
Lemme see…China can’t kill us unless we let it.
Nature can kill us, and not even break for lunch.
Seems to me that nature is the bigger threat.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:33
Overlord Hussein X, who fully internalized the teachings of a Christian pastor for 20 years but remained devoutly Muslim, is going to turn America socialist instead of taking her in the direction she should really go, which is to be more like China.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:34
Tell me where YOU live and I’ll show up, lib loser.
And I’ll show up in my GMC Yukon pouring out pounds of glorious carbon into Gaia’s face!
justblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:34
Actually, yes.
As long as we can drain the finite mineral resources of other nations at fire-sale prices, it might be best to leave our own reserves well enough alone. Once the foreigners have been relieved of the burden of sitting on our oil, and things get really expensive, that’s the time to start pulling up the local stuff. It’s a matter of timing, you see. The big oil companies clearly see this, what with their habit of nailing down leasing rights by hook or by crook for virtually every square inch of North America and not doing dick with them. Those reserves go up substantially in relative value the longer they sit.
I know anything beyond tomorrow’s Happy Meal is more forward thinking than you’re capable of, but why would you want to deny the oil companies their God-given profits?
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:34
“Nature can kill us, and not even break for lunch.”
No it can’t. We make nature cooperate with US, we don’t need to cooperate with nature! We CONTROL nature!
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:35
And I’ll show up in my GMC Yukon
Sorry about your small penis.
Eric Blartman said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:35
Well, Kyle’s mom is a stupid blart
She’s a stupid blart
She’s the biggest blart in the whole damn blart
She’s a stupid blart if there ever was a blart
She’s a super, king-size, mega, mega BLEE-ARRRTT!!!
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:35
The only GMC Yukons I ever see are driven by suburban housewives.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:35
It’s funny how conservatives always claim “act of God” when a storm destroys their trailer parks.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:36
“Tell me where YOU live and I’ll show up, lib loser.”
We can do this in Times Square. When do you want to be there?
Now PUT UP or SHUT UP, you lying little conservative pussy.
Behind-the-Curve Guy said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:36
Also, The Blarttocks.
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:36
We CONTROL nature!
OK, now you’re just being deliberately retarded. Tell New Orleans folks about how we control nature.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:37
Nevermind The Blartlocks, Here’s the Sex Blartols
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:38
Global warming is a crock of shit. In fact, the earth is cooler than it was in 1998. What now, libs?
And so what if it is real? Polar bears can swim. Plus I’d enjoy golf in January. LOL!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:38
“OK, now you’re just being deliberately retarded. ”
Is being retarded like being a PUSSY? If it is, then RedPussy75 fits the bill to a tee.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:38
The only GMC Yukons I ever see are driven by suburban housewives
Or the gardener.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:39
Polar bears drown as ice shelf melts
And blart.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:39
Hey RedPussy75, when are you coming to Times Square?
Or are you just a scared, lying, little puss-boy conservative?
tigrismus said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:40
Say, doesn’t that other socialist, Chavez, subsidize gas?
It never ceases to surprise me how much money Conservatives want to give to South American leftists and Middle Eastern potentates because they think it might piss off environmentalist liberals. Hey, guys, did you forget how much we LOVE socialists and terrorists? Go ahead, send them ALL your money and REALLY piss me off! Grr, stomp stomp, so very angry!
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:40
Back in the 70s you libs were screaming about a new ice age.
This is the REAL LIB AGENDA:
1)Create fake crises
2)Use said crises to control peoples lives
3)Also use it to destroy capitalism and the industrial revolution
4)Re-distribute wealth from the advanced west to Third World nations (this is why China and India were exempt form Kyoto)
5)Institute a global government to oversea the response to the “climate crisis”
That’s the agenda, libs. Communism didn’t work, so now you’re going to accomplish the same ends of International Communism through environmentalism. Green on the outside, red on the inside! Just like always.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:40
“Or the gardener.”
You mean the Mexican illegal who is doing the housewife while her Republican husband is off slaving at the weapons factory?
justblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:41
Hmmmm, housewives drive the gardener, eh?
I gotta get a job as a gardener.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:41
Or the gardener.
I disagree, Actor. The gardeners I see – real men with real jobs – drive pickups. A “Desert Pearl” GMC Yukon with soft leather upholstery and fifty cup holders is great for toting the kids to soccer practice and flute camp, but not so good for the kind of real work that real men do.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:41
I was being kind…you know, liberal, LibSec.
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:42
RedStater, you moron, you are a beneificiary of socialism!
If you actually live in a red state, you are getting more federal tax dollars than your state pays out. Stop living off the government teat, freeloader.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:42
I told you libs, I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:42
Conservative pussies love spending lots of money on Chinese crap and Arab oil.
This is because they hate Socialism and Muslims so much.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:42
The gardeners I see – real men with real jobs – drive pickups.
I was talking more about the Messican who walks into Del Rio and slips under the barbed wire fence of a “ranch owner”, then steals his truck to pick up supplies for his day labor job.
Carefully returning the truck later that day, of course.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:43
Communism didn’t work…
You do know China, whose virtues you’ve been extolling, is a Communist country? Right?
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:43
“You do know China, whose virtues you’ve been extolling, is a Communist country? Right?”
No, now they’re Adam Smith on steroids.
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:44
I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!
Sorry about your small penis.
PeeJ with new improved megaBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:44
The only suburban housewives I see are driven by the gardener.
tigrismus said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:44
The only GMC Yukons I ever see are driven by suburban housewives.
Nuh uh, unless they wear power suits to the Stop and Shop just for fun.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:44
I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!
Oh… a poser truck. A good choice for a cube farmer, I guess, but a real farmer wouldn’t touch it.
Blart Delano Roseblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:45
I’m gonna mod my truck to run on blart.
After this thread, I could ride to the moon and back on one tank.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:45
Say, anybody remember PNAC and their agenda for America?
You remember, drum up a phony crisis, control people’s lives with it, destroy capitalism and America by spending all the taxpayers money on a war or three, redistribute wealth to the already wealthy, and then institute the New World Order?
Seems to be a topic on everybody’s lips these days…
PeeJ with new improved megaBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:45
I told you libs, I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!
How much did they charge for the option package with extra penis extensions?
Chris Lepore said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:45
Man. Come for the blarts, end up staying for the piss-poor troll wannabe. What a blartkill.
LittlePig said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:45
No, now they’re Adam Smith on steroids.
Then emigrate. Vote with your feet.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:46
“Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:27
Hey pussy Redstater, whats the matter? Afraid to tell me where you live so I can come crush your pussy SUV? What kind of a fucking conservative PUSSY are you, anyway?”
Obviously the kind to blart down your back and tell it’s raining.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:46
Hey RedPussy75, are you going to PUT UP or what? You’re just a lying, sniveling, little puss-boy who is scared to death.
When are you coming to Times Square? You offered to come to my ‘hood and let my baby crush your wimpy SUV. When I told you where to bring your pussy SUV, you kinda ran away.
Like a little, scared puss-boy.
Now, PUT UP or SHUT UP, you fucking liar.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:46
Chris has a blart. We ought to blart blart blart.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:47
Like a father to a son, let me say:
Stop playing with it or you’ll go blind.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:47
Obviously the kind to blart down your back and tell [you] it’s raining.
oh blart.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:48
“Now, PUT UP or SHUT UP, you fucking liar.”
Blart it lib. You’ll get no blarting blart out me you blarting blart.
Blart State seventy-blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:49
China is no longer a Comuniss country, they’re blart on steroids.
And also, I’m gonna run my truck on dirty blart just to piss off you liberals.
justblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:49
I generally suggest “Somalia: The Libertarian Paradise” to morons like this.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:49
Or go blart, as the saying goes.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 75% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:50
“Adam Smith on steroids? Now that’s a prospectus that really makes my ticker rise.”
- Steven Crowder
tigrismus said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:50
I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!
I have a Prius with hemi-demi power, so I guess you got me beat by half.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:50
“How much did they charge for the option package with extra penis extensions?”
It was cheaper than Rush’s oxyblartin’ lib. ROFLMBO!!!!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:52
“I generally suggest “Somalia: The Libertarian Paradise” to morons like this.”
SHHHHH! Don’t tell him! Liberals hate white people who go to African paradises like Somalia. They can always get everything cheap there, and the natives worship them like the Great White Hunters that they are.
NOTHING makes Liberals angrier than conservatives who go to Somalia.
HUMMER H2 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:53
I’m a real man’s truck!
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:53
Actually, it’s my mom’s Dodge Caravan.
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:55
Blartdogs! Armour blartdogs! The dogs kids love to blart!
1st rule of blart club...don't talkabout blart club. said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:55
ix-nay on the omalia-say alk-tay. It will get too crowded…
o-kay lart-blay?
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:57
My baloney has a first name – it’s B.L.A.R.T.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:58
“Actually, it’s my mom’s Dodge Caravan.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
RedPussy75 has a Matchbox model of a pickup and a Yukon that he plays with while his mommy takes him to the shrink to fix the problems that his Uncle Diddler caused.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:58
520. Less than 24 hours. Zombie Thread is going to get nervous.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:59
Yummy, I love Daddy’s cock! MMMMM COCK!
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 19:59
You can’t blart just one.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:00
Hey RedPussy75, are you going to PUT UP or what? You’re just a lying, sniveling, little puss-boy who is scared to death.
When are you coming to Times Square? You offered to come to my ‘hood and let my baby crush your wimpy SUV. When I told you where to bring your pussy SUV, you kinda ran away.
Like a little, scared puss-boy.
Now, PUT UP or SHUT UP, you fucking liar.
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:00
Five blarts, same as in blart!
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:00
Okay okay! actually it’s my dad’s Dodge Stratus. You libs are mean!! Waahahaahhhhh
Flopping Blarts said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:01
Obama is already admitting to blarts libs!!! Bush never made a blart!!! Suck it libs.
Liberals = Stuck on Blart.
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:01
Take my blart, please!
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:02
In space, no one can hear you blart.
Redblarter75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:03
BLARTBABYBLART!
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:03
Wow. Liberal Secrets kicked my sorry ass! Who knew libs could stand up to cowardly little stupid neocon-wannabes and treat them like the bullies they wish they were? Damn.
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:04
Blartaway Camp III: Blartage wasteland.
Blart, Blart, Blart, and Blart Esq. said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:04
You will be receiving a bill for the usage of this firms’ name.
J— said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:05
This Steven Crowder guy is hilarious! Okay, not as funny as Julia Gorin, but funny nonetheless.
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:06
Blart Academy IV: Blarts on Patrol
Sheena Is A Punk Blarter said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:06
Has anyone seen the horse I rode in on?
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:07
I love a good dildo up my ass!
Doctor Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:08
My diagnosis for this thread is that it is suffering from an overdose of blart. The standard remedy for this malady is: more blart.
BLART!
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 90% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:09
Totally straight, totally funny, and not at all racist.
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:10
“I love a good dildo up my ass!”
HAHAHAHAHA. Now you’re so scared that your forgot your real name. Let me remind you what it is: RedPussy75.
Are you going to PUT UP or what? You’re just a lying, sniveling, little puss-boy who is scared to death.
When are you coming to Times Square? You offered to come to my ‘hood and let my baby crush your wimpy SUV. When I told you where to bring your pussy SUV, you kinda ran away.
Like a little, scared puss-boy.
Now, PUT UP or SHUT UP, you fucking liar.
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:10
BLART BLART BLART BLART WHY ISN’T THERE A WHITE ENTERTAINMENT BLART
The hilarious thing is that Hummers really are basically small-penis cars – they handle terribly, break like they’re made of balsa wood, and cost a fucking fortune to repair. (No, darling, just owning it doesn’t make driving it into a shop and flashing the goods for a discount a manly act.) This is a general feature of SUVs – American workmanship has declined tremendously since Detroit decided that, what with the failure of national healthcare, it’d be much more cost-efficient to simply create shitty cars and market them as penis extensions than to actually invest into good, strong vehicles actually capable of moving on their own merits – but the Hummer in particular is all flash and no substance. Nobody outside of America and its imperial concubines would actually want one.
You want a butch car, you buy German. You want a good car, you buy Japanese. You want to tell the world you fantasize about being manhandled by the Marines, you buy a Hummer. Christ, it’s just a shitty body mod on a minivan frame anyway.
Shorter RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:11
Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet?
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:12
A homeless man gave me AIDS when he raped me up the ass. :(
Mooser said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:12
Give me liberty, or give me blart!
Mooser said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:15
Blart-away, blart-away, blart-away all!
Liberal Secrets said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:16
“A homeless man gave me AIDS when he raped me up the ass. :(”
Looks like you’re still too scared to remember your name. It is RedPussy75.
If you ever own a SUV or anything else worthy of being crushed by my baby, let me know. Until then, I understand your fear. Being a conservative lying punk bitch like you are often makes one scared.
jim said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:16
Oh thank Cthulhu, a blart-break!
Congratulations, comrade, on your new-found faith in the joy of communism. The People’s Council is proud of you!
I believe that’s a direct quote from the mayor of Pompeii …bravo! Then you won’t mind if we fly you up to, say, the northern interior of British Columbia & just leave you naked & alone in the wilderness, will you? Just imagine all the manly fun you’ll have trying not to die – in fact, I’m sure you’ll be “in control” in NO time.
I smell serious pwnage in the wind: the sudden silence is deafening – looks like somebody’s
Yukonpussy is hanging out. YouTube or it didn’t happen … & if it doesn’t, perhaps a certain lurker-under-bridges ought to stick to fapping to his Chuck Norris poster & sucking back Big Macs with extra “cheese” … & stop dragging the collective IQ here down to the level of blart.Mooser said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:16
Come Blarter, and Blarter, and Blarter, and Nixon.
And Blarter and Blarter, and Blarter to mix ‘em!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:16
J—
Could you give a synopsis for those of us who are loath to expose ourselves to teh Crowder (or are just loath to given him any more hits).
i.e. Is he kinda like the Andrew Dice Clay, but without self-confidence?
Mooser said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:16
Eat Snarge and Blart!
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:17
My diagnosis for this thread is that it is suffering from an overdose of blart. The standard remedy for this malady is: more blart.
Alternatively known as:
“I got a fever, and the only prescription is – more cowblart!”
J— said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:20
Possible Shorter Crowder: The Left is destroying America by imposing nondescript equality and crushing individual achievement.
How’s that?
A Delightful Addition To Our Etymological Zoo said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:20
Snarge is a nice word. Let’s explore its usage…
“Alfred Snarge hit a blart over the outfield blart.”
Perfect.
RedStater75 said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:21
I actually dream about Chuck Norris. I want him inside me so bad.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 90% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:22
There’s more Crowder at the link below, if your tastes run more towards the various phobias – xeno, homo, and so on – but not towards comedy that is actually funny.
http://www.stevencrowder.net/3.html
PeeJ+ ultraBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:24
One of the worst kept secrets among us blouse wearing poodle walkers is that we think it’s faaaabulously funny the way most straight men are terrified of their own buttholes. It’s particularly delicious considering that prostate stimulation greatly reduces the risk of cancer.
BWAHAHAHABWAHA
Also, blart.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:25
Adequate for Steve’s re-education camp assignment.
Rusty Shackleford, Now With 90% Less Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:27
The Left is destroying America by imposing nondescript equality and crushing individual achievement.
It’s easier than admitting that “I’m not as successful as Chris Rock because he’s simply far better than I am.”
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:31
YOU WOULD BE TERRIFIED OF MY BUTTHOLE TOO.
It has no mercy.
Sheena Is A Punk Blarter said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:32
I’m hungry for some nondescript equality but I’ll settle for a blart sandwich.
PeeJ+ ultraBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:35
Yes, there are some who are rightly terrified of their buttholes.
[I just wanted to say "butthole" again - it's one of my favorite words.]
Rusty Shackleford, No Blart Added but Processed in a Facility that Also Processes Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:38
I hate equality that I can’t even pick out of a crowd. That’s the problem with society today – all the equality is the same. That, and the gyms are crowded with spandex-wearing men who can’t keep my eyes off their packages.
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:39
PPRIMUS: Well, then, blart’s on blart?
SEGUNDUS: Yes.
PRIMUS: I mean the fellow’s blart.
SEGUNDUS: Blart.
PRIMUS: The guy on blart.
SEGUNDUS: Blart.
PRIMUS: The first blartsman.
SEGUNDUS: Blart.
PRIMUS: The guy playing…
SEGUNDUS: Blart is on blart!
PRIMUS: I’m asking YOU blart’s on blart.
SEGUNDUS: That’s the man’s blart.
PRIMUS: That’s blart’s blart?
SEGUNDUS: Blart.
PRIMUS: Well go ahead and blart me.
SEGUNDUS: That’s it.
PRIMUS: That’s blart?
SEGUNDUS: Yes.
BLART
PRIMUS: Look, you gotta first blartsman?
SEGUNDUS: Certainly.
PRIMUS: Blart’s playing first?
SEGUNDUS: That’s right.
PRIMUS: When you pay off the first blartsman every month, blart gets the money?
SEGUNDUS: Every dollar of it.
PRIMUS: All I’m trying to blart out is the blart’s name on first blart.
SEGUNDUS: Blart.
PRIMUS: The blart that gets…
SEGUNDUS: That’s it.
PRIMUS: Blart gets the money…
SEGUNDUS: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his whart comes down and blarts it.
PRIMUS: Blart’s whart?
SEGUNDUS: Blart.
BLART
SEGUNDUS: What’s blart with that?
PRIMUS: Look, all I wanna blart is when you blart up the first blartsman, how does he blart his blart?
SEGUNDUS: Blart.
PRIMUS: The blart.
SEGUNDUS: Blart.
PRIMUS: How does blart sign…
SEGUNDUS: That’s how blart blarts it.
PRIMUS: Blart?
SEGUNDUS: Yes.
PAUSE
PRIMUS: Blart I’m trying to find blart is shart’s the blart’s blart on first blart.
SEUGNDUS: No. Shart is on second blart.
PRIMUS: I’m not asking you blart’s on second.
SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on first.
PRIMUS: One blart at a time!
SEUGNDUS: Well, don’t change the blarts around.
PRIMUS: I’m not changing blart!
SEUGNDUS: Take it easy, blart.
PRIMUS: I’m only asking you, blart’s the blart on first blart?
SEUGNDUS: That’s blart.
PRIMUS: Blart.
SEUGNDUS: Blart – blart.
BLART
PRIMUS: Shart’s the blart’s blart on first blart?
SEUGNDUS: No. Shart is on second.
PRIMUS: I’m not blarting you who’s on second.
SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on first.
PRIMUS: Mall cop.
SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on third, we’re not talking about blart.
PRIMUS: Now how did I get on third blart?
SEUGNDUS: Why you mentioned his blart.
PRIMUS: If I mentioned the third blartsman’s blart, blart did I blart is blarting third?
SEUGNDUS: No. Blart’s playing first.
PRIMUS: Shart’s on first?
SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on second.
PRIMUS: Mall cop.
SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on third.
PRIMUS: There I blart, back on third again!
BLART
PRIMUS: Would you just blart on third blart and don’t go off blart.
SEUGNDUS: All right, what do you want to blart?
PRIMUS: Now shart’s playing third base?
SEUGNDUS: Why do you blart on blarting Shart on third blart?
PRIMUS: Shart am I blarting on third.
SEUGNDUS: No. Shart is on second.
PRIMUS: You don’t blart blart on second?
SEUGNDUS: Blart is on first.
PRIMUS: Mall cop.
UNISON: Third blart!
[ . . .]
PRIMUS: I blart the blart to blart. Blartever it is blarts the blart and the blart flarts to second. Blart blarts up the blart and blarts it to Shart. Shart throws it to Mall Cop. Mall Cop blarts it back to Whart. Bork bork bork. Another blart blarts up and blarts a blart fly blart to Buttocks. Shart? Mall cop! He’s on third — bookmark this, libs!
SEUGNDUS: What?
PRIMUS: I said “bookmark this, libs”.
SEUGNDUS: Oh, that’s our shortstop.
[FIN]
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:42
With more, one might say.
(If anyone can find the Howard Stern show version, I would be in her or his debt.)
J— said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:42
Yes, interspersed consistently throughout Crowder’s oeuvre is a refrain that shouts (although he may not be able to hear it), “I am not gay! I am so totally not gay!”
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:43
Whoops: here.
It takes some time to get going, but it’s about all that needs to be said about ADC.
PeeJ+ ultraBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:44
butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole
blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole
blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole
butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole
buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart
buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart
buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart
stryx said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:45
Some clowns are really fixated on blarting buttholes.
heydave said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:47
Pardon me, I just blarted.
Engelbert Humperdinck is kinda sexy said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:52
Felix Mendehlson-Blartholdy’s 200th birthday was yesterday.
Duros62 said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:53
This is the blart that never ends,
it just goes on and on my friends
Some people started blarting it, not knowing what it was,
and they’ll continue blarting it forever just because…
This is the blart that never ends,
it just goes on and on my friends
Some people started blarting it, not knowing what it was,
and they’ll continue blarting it forever just because…
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:53
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee
Emblarted Bull Limpet said,
February 4, 2009 at 20:55
Anyone wanna buy a domain name? I just registered 273 different permutations of blartitude.
PeeJ+ ultraBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:00
Ah, Blartleby! Ah, humanity!
Simone Schwarz-Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:02
Men are strong, women are smart, but no matter how smart, their bellies are always there to betray women and that’s their downfall.
mingo said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:05
sadly, the vaudeville performer known as “Le Blartomane” was never able to become as popular as his fellow performer.
Duros62 said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:09
Ah. So The ladies of Rock of Love, I gather.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:12
What was that link for Schadenfreude Pie again? Oh yeah, here it is:
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/02/gonzo_blames_tough_economy_for_struggle_to_find_a.php
Duros62 said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:13
How come libs are so scared they wine about carbon dioxide all the time?
Because carbon dioxide in wine = champagne!
Ann Althouse's Narcissistic Spirals said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:14
This thread’s commenters have been given blarte blanche, and has that meant a better thread?
Sadly, blart!
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:16
Hey! Blarthole Surfers! What a GREAT name for a faux-punk band!
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:16
Because carbon dioxide in wine = champagne!
*grabbing flute*
Hey! Wait for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GoatBoy said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:17
I am the Great Blartholio. Are you threatening me? My people, they have no T.P. for their Blarthole. They need crapuccino in a Blartholio for their T.P.
blarghy blargh said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:18
Yeah, whatever.
Meanwhile, Obama shows his hatred for stupid, rural, Kentucky Redumblican redneck wingnut crackers
by ignoring them while they freeze to death.
YOU’RE DOING A HECKUVA JOB, BARRY.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:18
Y’know, I would’ve gone with carte blarte.
Baggie O'Blarts said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:19
Blartgorah!
FlipYrWhig said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:21
Jap Scrap Yaris.
Probably the second-worst character in _Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace._
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:22
YOU’RE DOING A HECKUVA JOB, BARRY.
Right. Cuz THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE HAVE DIED!!!!!!!!!!
Oh. Wait. That was Katrina…
Edgar Allan Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:24
Quoth the Raven, “Neverblart.”
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:28
Four days ago:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hxyhhC1qV6qWnOdkwks6C1HpYtPAD961R38G0
and then one day ago:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5g_8OFJGKcPdCNnCMJOsgRmTtL1HgD963S5FG0
I learned something!
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:35
“We have had tremendous and quick response from President Obama and his administration,” Beshear said Monday. “I don’t think any of our folks that have dealt with disasters before ever recall as quick a response as we got last Wednesday.”
You can’t fool me! That’s made up! He was a character on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”!
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:47
Jesus Christ. Almost 600 blarts.
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:47
There you go again, ignoring the real America’s four-day-old values.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:47
Quoth the Raven, “Neverblart.”
Reminds me of something… Scansion breaks down near the end though.
I was thinking Holy Moly
While I read some Steven Crowley
And his quaint and curious lust for bare knuckled bears
He’s so dull I was nearly napping,
Then I heard a tapping
As of someone fervently fapping
Fapping his wee wee till it got sore
‘Tis some wingnut fapping hisself till sore
Only this and nothing more.
And then Steven, ever fapping
Still is fapping, and tongue-lapping
And fondling the bust of some fake-tanned fellow behind the bathroom door;
And his eyes have all the seeming
Of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the baby oil o’er him streaming throws his manly sweat upon the floor;
And his soul from under that bearish man will escape Nevermore
But he’s so totally straight, ya just gotta believe him.
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:50
A four-day turnaround is unacceptable, but – again – Obama is still using largely inherited organizations. The relative speed of aid to Kentucky indicates that, on at least some level, the highest levels of government were actively involved in slow-rolling disaster areas they disliked.
This is kind of a ‘no shit’ thing in Katrina’s case – there’s literally no explanation for the horrific divergence between the federal treatment received by Biloxi but Rove basically ordering that Louisiana be put under Federal siege – but the subtler difference, the fact that turnaround time in a fairly remote and politically disadvantaged area is better than at Bush’s best, says a hell of a lot.
Anonymous said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:52
Obama may become a disaster
By James Lewis
By their actions ye shall know them. By now we are seeing an ominous pattern of actions by the O administration. We know that President Obama is a very slick liar indeed, but then so was Bill Clinton. But Clinton had a smaller majority in Congress, and was forced to compromise after the Gingrich Congress was elected in 1994. It is still possible that Obama may turn toward the mainstream. But the early omens look dark.
Foreign and military affairs
There is a reason why Israel s voters are suddenly turning to the center-Right Netanyahu and Likud. They fear that for the first time since Harry Truman, an American administration is turning against the Jewish State. Obama s first phone call after the election was made to Mahmoud Abbas. His first television interview was with Al Arabiya. The appointments of Samantha Power and Susan Rice bode ill for the entire Middle East. A meeting with Hugo Chavez — to negotiate what, exactly? Forthcoming recognition of radical Islamofascist Iran on their terms, not ours, are all ominous straws in the wind. Richard Holbrooke has just infuriated two crucial governments in Pakistan and Afghanistan, by predicting their doom, and still was appointed special envoy to those governments.
The O’s just announced a 10% cut for the defense budget, while the overall budget deficit has just risen by two trillion dollars. That may signal a Carteresque drawdown in our burdened military. This is not the time to lower our guard, but like Jimmy Carter, the O administration is betting against history.
We now know that in violation of Federal law, the Obama campaign started negotiations with Iran, Syria and perhaps Hugo Chavez long before American voters elected O. That flagrant disregard for the law and for simple propriety signals a radical turn Left. If that is accurate, expect the Obama administration to start a scapegoating campaign against Binyamin Netanyahu if he becomes Prime Minister. That would be the first time that any American administration has turned against an elected leader of a vigorous, pro-American democratic ally. The voters in Israel may be preparing to go it alone if necessary. It would be difficult, but it can be done.
Flunking Econ 101
The O administration has some sensible economic voices, but they don’t seem to carry much clout. Larry Summers is fairly mainstream, Robert Reich is turning radical, and Paul Krugman is a hair-pulling wild man. The so-called stimulus bill is pure political payoff to Democrat city machines, the teachers’ unions, and faithful leftwing armies like ACORN. Those 1.17 trillion dollars are not designed to stimulate normal economic activity, defined as products and services that Americans want and will work for — which is what “supply and demand” really means, after all.
The economy is one gigantic incentive machine. Take away the incentive value of work and buying things, and yes, you will get a very bad recession. And no, Nancy Pelosi has it wildly wrong by arguing that more subsidized birth control means more wealth per person, for those who are actually born. The administration is even ignoring the first-grade lessons of the Smooth-Hawley with its buy-American provisions in the House bill. Suddenly alarmist headlines are appearing in the worshipful European press. Will the US turn protectionist under Obama? Watch what the Senate does with the outlandish House bill, and we will know the answer.
Future generations are being burdened with this second trillion dollar payoff in a few months — after the first trillion bucks for TARP. But fear not. The O administration is promising yet more trillions in spending, under the mad delusion that the New Deal didn’t spend enough on things people didn’t want. The stock market is signaling fear and doubt. So far, the market looks to be right.
A Commissar style of governance
Vladimir Lenin pioneered a double-layered style of control by Soviet Party Commissars. Every government official and military officer was doubled by a Party Commissar, who wielded the real power. The result was wild swings between radicalization and stagnation in the USSR. Nobody could act without worrying about the local Commissars, who owed their real allegiances to the Kremlin. Obama is using a similar strategy by directing Samantha Power to go wherever new SecState Hillary Clinton goes.
Those two ladies hate each other, even before Power called Hillary “a monster” during the primaries. Power will report on Hillary to the White House. The Obamas are introducing a parallel staff for the major departments in the White House, to keep a jealous eye on its own appointees. The Clintons did this with the Justice Department, where Jamie Gorelick was the real power at Justice, and Janet Reno became the PR front. We know about the results in a suicidal anti-terror policy, the cynical return of the little refugee boy Elian Gonzalez to the Castro tyranny, and the Waco massacre.
A Government-Media fusion
Karl Marx told his followers “First, conquer the Organs of Propaganda.” In Marx’s Germany there was no free press. Britain was one of the few examples of relative freedom in Europe, which is why Marx ended up being a foreign correspondent in London, as a ferocious public enemy of capitalism and elected governments.
Last week we found out that Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long conference calls for the last 17 years, even while they were hopping from one top job to another in the White House, ABC News, and various liberal political campaigns. If you think all the big media sound oddly similar, we now now why.
A lockstep alliance between government and the big media is a marker of radical Leftist rulers. Putin just had a couple of more journalists murdered in Moscow. That is not likely to happen here, but then, it wont be necessary. The big media are already PR flacks for the Left. Well, just to make that relationship of buyer and bought explicit, a Boston Globe journalist has just proposed a special Federal bailout for newsies who have utterly destroyed their own audiences. Somewhere in Hell Jozef Goebbels is smiling.
Appointing openly corrupt officials
Obama’s no-lobbyist rule is now a public joke. Confessed tax cheaters were propopsed for top positions, like Tom Daschle and Timothy Geithner. Big lobbyist power couples in Washington are being drawn in, including the Daschles. And of course we have the endless Congressional show of Democrat corruption by Charlie Rangel, Chris Dodd and far too many others.
The appointment of radical Greenies to positions like the “Science Czar” — a huge self-contradiction — are sending very bad signals to the giant Federal research establishment.
Moving against conservative media
Immediately after the election, Fox News and Washington Times reporters were thrown off the Obama campaign plane. Obama’s first television interview just took place with terror-supporting Al-Arabiya TV, an Islamist riff on CNN. A Republican FCC member has warned that a disguised censorship rule giving local leftist groups additional “community input” into radio license renewals may become law by administrative fiat.
That’s what we are seeing so far. Keep a sharp out in the coming weeks and months. Let’s hope the O’s will see reason somehow. But so far, the signals sent by their actions are ominous.
Blart Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:58
Y’know, I would’ve gone with carte blarte.
I would have stuck to the a la blarte menu.
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:58
Furthermore, for more than half of Obama’s presidency, the sun has refused to shine. It might not be politically “correct” to point it out, but you know what else is black, criminal, childlike, apelike, and constantly stealing your jobs / college seats / elections? That one.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:59
blart blart Obama blart
John D. said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:00
“I thought the whole blarting point of this abortion was to repel the blarting troll!”
Seems to me I mentioned to y’all just the other day that ignoring the scum isn’t an automatic recipe for getting rid of them.
That said, I gotta admit, it’s getting more and more difficult to tell if RedShitstain is a parody troll, or if he’s the Real Deal. It seems to have the rock-headed stupidity down pat, but then there are isolated moments where it appears to be a little more intelligent than it’s letting on. I mean, you’d think that this:
“We make nature cooperate with US, we don’t need to cooperate with nature! We CONTROL nature!”
Couldn’t possibly be for real. It’s just too far-fetched, even for mere posturing. These days, though, you never know. It’s funny at that to think of some blubbery moron trying to shoo away a tidal wave or an earthquake or a hurricane by yelling at it to leave. “We control you, bitch!” Uh, righhhht…
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:02
Shorter Anonymous:
BlartblartblartblartblartOBAMAblartblartblartNIGGERblartblartblartMUSLIMblartblartblartblart
BlartblartblartblartblartHATEHISBALCKASSblartblartblartblartblartBUTI’MNOTABIGOT!blartblartblartblartblartblart
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:03
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 21:59
Damn. Beat me to it.
stryx said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:05
Vladimir Lenin pioneered a double-layered style of control by Soviet Blarty Commissars.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:07
Last week we found out that Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long conference calls for the last 17 years
They’re, like, BFFs, and in a totally “Hannah Montana before she became a total slut” kind of way!
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:10
But you revised and extended so there’s that.
You also remind me to bring up this very interesting piece from yesterdays Morning Sedition titled Your Family May Once Have Been A Different Color.
What a tasty idea – that a whitey like me (or more to the point, like the racist fucks of the right) probably had black ancestors not that far back in the lineage.
And, blart.
Smut Clyde said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:10
The problem is that there is no longer a place for me to be what I am … a man. The thought hit me at the gym today [...]
If someone could tell me that this Crowder dude is a parodist, I would be a happy camper. The other possibility is that he does seriously identify ‘masculinity’ with “having a sedentary life-style and paying to exercise in a shrine of conspicuous consumption that evolved into a status signifier over the last couple of decades”, and that would just be sad.
It would be like identifying masculinity with “wearing a hard-hat as a fashion statement”.
“Lonewolf Diaries”. I think we’re in this Pwnage territory.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:11
Hey, I did my ancient lineage and turns out, I’m from Kenya! I’m a cuzz of the Prez!
jim said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:14
Ah, the delights of a wingnut proudly sharing their foot-in-mouth disease.
Thanks for pwning yourself so we don’t have to.
PROTIP: If you’re a Bush/GOP supporter, & wish to come across as having more than a moribund lump of atrophied brainstem to debate with, do not use “heck of a job, ______ie” (or any variation thereof) in the vicinity of other Americans (& especially not those from NOLA) – ever, for anything, for the rest of your natural life. Results IRL will vary, & may include unintentional consequences not to your liking.
Damn – you mean Obama’s been in power a WHOLE MONTH & he has yet to totally clean up FEMA? What a fucking slacker! Why, George “I Gave Up Golf For Teh Troops (But Not Really)” Bush could’ve already taken TWO vacations by now!
Wow, I wonder who the pack of dickless wonders were that fucked up FEMA so bad that even 4+ years after Katrina, it still screws the poodle over even a minor disaster like a snowstorm … even with more than 4 years’ warning to pull their thumbs out of their ass & do SOMETHING to fix it? Hmm.
Must be Clinton’s fault!
stryx said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:20
Last week we found out that Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long
conference callsdaisy chain blartjobs for the last 17 years.Blarted.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:25
Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long daisy chain blartjobs
The blart just dried from this morning’s brain blarting…
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:30
What a tasty idea – that a whitey like me (or more to the point, like the racist fucks of the right) probably had black ancestors not that far back in the lineage.
I’m part Spanish (and old actual Spain-type Spanish at that) so it’s likely that some of my ancestors not only were blackamoors, but could’ve even been MUSLIMS too.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:31
I imagine this is what it would look like.
tigrismus said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:35
Last week we found out that Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long conference calls for the last 17 years
They also totally think that outfit makes your ass look fat.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:42
I wonder if New England Clam Crowder saw this article today?
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:45
I’m the sort that roots for the Saracens generally, but even though the Almoravids were to the 11th century what the Religious Right was to the 80s, they were still a damn sight more enlightened than any Christian state then in the running, and their descendants in Grenada were amazing.
Your white forebears are savages is what I’m getting at. I mean, if you go back far enough it’s all idiots shooting gametes at each other in between wallows in their own filth, but some make the jump from pastoral squalor a lot earlier and more comfortably.
I think between everyone in my background the latest any of them stopped being campesine jagoffs with a purely corrupt interest in domestication would be around 1870, so I’m hardly one to talk, but still.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:46
Jesus Christ. Almost 600 blarts.
To be fair, some of that was somebody not getting the memo about blarting until the trolls were driven away, and playing with it needlessly.
To which I saw, blart that blarting blarter.
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:46
I’m sorry, the earliest. The latest would be when my grandfather moved out of Idaho in 1991.
alec said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:47
Hey, I blarted at the office.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:49
Blart you, you maniacs. We’ve broken the Islamofascism barrier. Now it’ll be 1387 posts about history followed by me screaming about how we’re all going to blart!
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:50
I am so na?ve. Here I was having a good time.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:50
BYWP!
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:53
Hey, y’don’t blart me, I’m blart of the union!
Stanblartey said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:56
Dr. Blartingston, I presume?
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:57
I’m the sort that roots for the Saracens generally
Susan Saracen has nice boobies.
Edward D. Blart, Jr. said,
February 4, 2009 at 22:59
All you of earth are idiots!
Travel Advisory said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:02
When in Ireland, you should kiss the Blarty Stone for good luck.
Ed Wood movies said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:04
Plan Blart From Outer Blart
Blart or Blarta
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:07
Jail Blart
Bride of the Blart
Dr. Acublarta
Dain Brammaged said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:08
Are we human, or are we Blart?
Emily Dickinblart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:11
Because I could not blart for Death
He kindly blart for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immorblartity.
We slowly blart, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my blarting too,
For his civblartity.
We passed the school, where children blart
At recess, in the ring,
We passed the fields of blarting grain,
We passed the blarting sun.
Or rather, he blart us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only goassamer my gown,
My blarttit only tulle.
We paused before a house that seemed
A blarting of the ground;
The roof was scarecly visible,
The cornice but a mound.
Since then ’tis centuries, and yet each
Feels blarter than the day
I first surmsed the blaters’ heads
Were toward eternity.
tigrismus said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:14
Dr. Acublarta
“Now let’s take it from the top and I’m not going to ask you again… blarter“
Question Of The Ages said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:16
When somebody named Bart plays a trumpet that causes a sound-controlled bomb to go off, I have to ask
Did Bart’s Blat Blast A Blart?
Really Late Reply To Anonymous said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:18
“Obama may become a disaster”
That’s PRESIDENT Malcolm Obama Messiah Muslimfascist X” to you, bub.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:24
Are we not blart?
Aristotle said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:24
blart is blart
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:25
We are blarto!
Nat "King" Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:25
I’d blart to make blart to you
Please tell me you’d blart me to…
I’m not a blartoholic, I can stop any time.
D.N. Nation said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:26
CREED RULES
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:26
Nietzche -
To blart is to be
Kant –
To be is to blart
Frank Sinatra –
Do blart do blart dooooo
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:26
Call Guinness Book of World Blarts!
We’ll soon have set a new record of 24 hours of continuous blarting!
You GO blarters!
Duros62 said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:27
17 million Google hits for blart.
Duros62 said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:28
Descartes
I blart, therefore I am.
PeeBlart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:29
Today’s punctuation lesson –
What difference does punctuation make in the sense of these two sentences:
Blart me, silly.
Blart me silly.
MajorKong said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:29
There is no Blart – only Zuul.
Righteous Blarta said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:30
Punktuation sucks.
Buzzkill Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:34
Each day we go about our blart,
walking past each other, catching each other’s
blart or not, about to speak or speaking.
All about us is blart. All about us is
noise and blart, thorn and din, each
one of our ancestors on our tongues.
Someone is stitching up a hem, darning
a hole in a uniform, patching a tire,
repairing the things in need of blart.
Someone is trying to make blart somewhere,
with a pair of blart spoons on an blart drum,
with cello, boom box, harmonica, blart.
A woman and her son wait for the blart.
A farmer considers the changing blart.
A teacher says, Take out your blart. Blart.
We encounter each other in blart, words
spiny or blart, whispered or blarted,
blart to consider, reconsider.
We cross blart roads and highways that mark
the will of some one and then others, who said
I need to see what’s on the other blart.
I know there’s something better down the blart.
We need to find a place where we are safe.
We walk into that which we cannot yet blart.
Say it plain: that many have died for this day.
Sing the names of the dead who brought us here,
who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges,
picked the cotton and the lettuce, built
blart by blart the glittering blart
they would then keep clean and work inside of.
Praise blart for struggle, praise blart for the day.
Praise blart for every hand-lettered sign,
the figuring-it-out at kitchen tables.
Some live by blart thy neighbor as thyself,
others by first do no blart or take no blart
than you need. What if the mightiest word is BLART?
Blart beyond marital, filial, national,
Blart that casts a widening pool of light,
Blart with no need to pre-empt grievance.
In today’s sharp blart, this winter blart,
any thing can be made, any sentence begun.
On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp, on the blart
praise blart for walking forward in that light.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:34
Ayn Rand:
Blart=Blart.
laym said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:36
Blarterrific.
Also, I think that was a parody blart. A little too over-the-blart, if you know what I blart.
Rusty Shackleford, No Blart Added but Processed in a Facility that Also Processes Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:36
17 million Google hits for blart.
And they all direct here.
Rusty Shackleford, No Blart Added but Processed in a Facility that Also Processes Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:37
Godammit – FUCK Creed!
MajorKong said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:37
Klaatu Blart Nicto
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:39
YOU BLARTING MANIACS!!! STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW!!!!
You are taking us all deeper and deeper into Dhimmiblart Territory. Any further and we’ll be looking at Shania Law administered by Blartslamic Mullahs and Blartatollahs.
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:39
There was an Andy Kim song,. wasn’t there?
o/~ Blart me silly
Blart me slowly
Take it easy
Don’t you know
That I have never been blarted like this before o/~
actor212 said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:39
Any further and we’ll be looking at Shania Law administered by Blartslamic Mullahs and Blartatollahs.
Shania or Sunny?
Rusty Shackleford, No Blart Added but Processed in a Facility that Also Processes Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:40
Unvanquished by her electoral drubbing, Sarah Palin sets her twinkling sights on bigger game.
laym said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:47
With blarts wide open …
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:50
When you blart with me, I’m free
I’m blartless, I blart-lieve
Above all the Blarts we’ll fly
This brings Blarts to my eyes
My Blartcrifice
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:50
We will we will BLART YOU!
AlanSmithee said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:51
Blart gets in your….BLAAAAAART!
Recipe Department said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:52
If anybody wants it, I can share my recipe for Blart Braised With A Blart Sauce Reduction.
For something simpler, try my Fricassed Blart.
blarty blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:53
Shorter jim:
“When in doubt, just blame everything on the previous administration.”
HECKUVA JOB, BARRY.
Complaint Department said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:54
My car was on the fritz today. It was making a “blart” sound.
I took it to the dealer and he put in a new blart. Viola! Fixed.
Troll Drubbing Department said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:55
“HECKUVA JOB, BARRY.”
Call him by his rightful name: PRESIDENT Malcolm Obama Messiah Muslimfascist X.
The Malfunctioning Scott Stapp Robot said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:55
Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart. Hurrrrrrr. Nyurrrrrrr. With ahhhhrrrrms waaaayudddd opayyyyunnnn. Whayyyyunnn I’m wiiiiiiith youuuuuuu, I’m fraaaaaaaayuhhhhhhh. Blart.
Blart Nader said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:55
CREED RULES
Try harder. And use a pseudonym.
You’re slipping.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:56
Arggghhhhh!!! DAMN YOU SCOTT STAPP AND YOUR SUCKING CREED!!!!
I’m pretending that this is going into the righ post number:
Let him that hath underblarting count the number of the Blart: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six and Blart.
Rusty Shackleford, No Blart Added but Processed in a Facility that Also Processes Blart said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:57
Townhall commenter keeps it classy while discussing Franken-Coleman race:
Mmm, that’s good blart.
Biblical Studies Department said,
February 4, 2009 at 23:58
“I’m pretending that this is going into the righ post number:”
Nope, The Stapp robot got it.
Blart.
laym said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:00
Should have been dead
On a Blarty morning
Blarting my head
No time for mourning
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:01
Nope, The Stapp robot got it.
Or did he? I’m claiming the correct post number because Blart = Number Two.
Spelling Department said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:01
Did you know that blart spelled blartways comes out as larpt?
As in “I larpt at the chance to blart”
Biblical Studies Department said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:03
“Or did he? I’m claiming the correct post number because Blart = Number Two.”
You are not number 2. You are number six.
As blart does speaketh.
PeeBlart said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:05
The blart is dead! Long live the blart!
Conservative Whiner said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:05
Is there any blart in Obama’s budget for ME?
MzNicky said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:06
“Your Family May Once Have Been A Different Color.”
I used to enjoy tormenting my racist dad, who spent the last two decades of his life assiduously researching our family’s genealogy, by sending him links to investigate who were African-Americans with his same surname. If our pasty white Irish asses were related to any of them in any way he took it to his grave.
actor212 said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:07
Did you know that blart spelled blartways comes out as larpt?
Yarp!
Smut Clyde said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:21
I am not a number! I am a free blart!
alec said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:24
My father torments his by bringing up the big family in Dominica and elsewhere in the Caribbean descended from one of his great-uncles; he married a Venezuelan woman and had lots of kids, all of them blacker’n the President and most of them with his eyes. He found this out during a ride of the sort of van/cab hybrid they have there; on hearing his name one of the guys on the van with him asked him about it, and they found out that they were both descended on one side from his great-grandfather. Grandpa refuses to buy it, but if the pictures we’ve seen aren’t of his uncle we Irish must all look alike.
heydave said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:48
Thank you.
Wiliam Blartsphere said,
February 5, 2009 at 0:59
So foul and fair a thread I have not blart.
PeeBlart said,
February 5, 2009 at 1:21
QEB
Thus endeth the blarthon.
It Is *Blarting*!!! said,
February 5, 2009 at 1:37
o/~ This is a chance, this is a chance / To blart my way
o/~ Do you promise to blart / The whole blart / Nothing but the blart
Hey, where did everyone go???
henry lewis said,
February 5, 2009 at 3:13
Don’t blart without me.
Redblarter75 said,
February 5, 2009 at 3:19
Did you hear that Obama wants to “spread the blart around?”
Thanks for voting for Uncle Joseph Blartin looney libs.
bobbyp said,
February 5, 2009 at 3:53
IIIIIIIII did IT BLART waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Blartdeth said,
February 5, 2009 at 4:47
You take a mortal blart
and put him in control.
Watch him become a blarrrrrrt
Watch out, people’s blarts’ll roll…
(chorus:)Just like the pied blarter
Led blarts through the streets
We blart like marionettes
Blarting to the symphony of destruction
Acting like a roblart
Its metal blart corrodes.
You try to take its blarrrrrt
Before the blart explodes….
(ch.)
The blart starts to rumble
Blart powers fall
A-blarting for the heavens,
A peaceful blart stands tall…
(ch)
Simba Blart said,
February 5, 2009 at 5:06
New zombie thread. I think in terms of number of comments for the age of the thread, this one is the new champ.
Paul Blart said,
February 5, 2009 at 5:21
I have seen a world that NO man should see!
(I can’t believe no one has made this joke yet. Unless of course I missed it at comment #427 or whatever)
The Blartman Cometh said,
February 5, 2009 at 5:43
When men make blarts, there is no Blart!
J Neo Marvin said,
February 5, 2009 at 5:45
Why is there a picture of Stephen Stills accompanying this post?
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 7:06
Stupid libs, have you forgotten about Osama Blart-Laden?
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 7:07
Only real Americans shop at Walblart.
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 7:29
Have we reached 1000 yet?
Michael Blartson said,
February 5, 2009 at 7:39
Don’t stop till you’ve blart enough.
Dolly Blarton's Greatest Hits said,
February 5, 2009 at 8:14
Love is Like a Blarterfly
I Will Always Blart You
Here You Blart Again
Blart of Many Colors
Blartands in the Stream (with Blarty Rogers)
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 8:19
B for Blartetta
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 8:26
Antblartica…. my favorite continent.
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 8:43
On a cultural note…..
The right-wingers are all upset about the “Blart Christ” exhibit at the Museum of Modern Blart.
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 8:44
Get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty Blart.
Anonymous said,
February 5, 2009 at 8:50
February 05, 2009
Save The Children (From Global Warming Propaganda)
By Marc Sheppard
He alone, who owns the youth, gains the Future
– Adolf Hitler, 1935
No regime in modern history exploited propaganda as diabolically and successfully as did the Third Reich, thanks, in large part, to its focus on those most vulnerable to their ideological manipulation — children. And with more American adults seeing the cold truth behind warming misinformation, alarmists are stepping up efforts to brainwash our schoolchildren using a playbook that would have impressed Joseph Goebbels himself.
Of course, green schooling was surreptitiously introduced years ago when teachers began espousing benign environmental distractions like “Earth Day.” But trendy nontoxic slogans like “reduce, reuse, recycle” eventually opened the door to the destructive propaganda of teaching Al Gore’s scientifically-challenged movie in science classes. Which soon facilitated a California Law mandating unbalanced Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) theories be included in public school curricula. And that paved the way for today’s second installment of a malignant little program cleverly crafted to indoctrinate our impressionable youth on a chillingly massive scale.
It’s called the “National Teach-In on Global Warming Solutions,” and one need read no further than the “about” page on the planners’ website to understand just who they are and what it is they intend to “teach” our children on a national level. For crying out loud, they lead with this hyperalarmist quote from “science’s” leading and most disproven hyperalarmist, James Hansen:
“Continued growth of greenhouse gas emissions, for just another decade, practically eliminates the possibility of near-term return of atmospheric composition beneath the tipping level for catastrophic effects.”
And they follow that already over-the-top declaration from a man recently declared an “embarrassment” by his former NASA supervisor with this from their own equally overactive imaginations:
“We stand at a unique moment in human history. The window for action on global warming is measured in months, not years. Decisions that we make-or fail to make-in 2009 will have profound impacts not only for our children and grandchildren, but for every human being that will ever inhabit the face of this earth from now until the end of time.”
Until the end of time! Scary stuff — but these guys are just getting warmed up.
Next, they urge fellow warmists to help “enlist” thousands of colleges, universities, high schools, middle schools and faith groups to host “educational events” in which over a million Americans might join “in solutions-driven” and “intergenerational” dialogue. Of course, a quick glance at the site’s recommended teach-in “models” confirms that “dialogue” will be in short supply, as each and every curriculum involves force-feeding AGW to young minds as a fait accompli, while ignoring glaring growing evidence to the contrary.
Indeed, the only “intergenerational” communication these ideologues intend is purely upstream in direction. As Competitive Enterprise Institute Senior Fellow Marlo Lewis pointed out last year:
“Global warming activists understand that children’s opinions are easily swayed, and that the most effective way to proselytize adults is to indoctrinate their kids.”
And sway they will, as it appears that schools from across the nation have heeded the false alarm, and plan to participate in today’s trans-American propaganda session.
Step 1: Teach the Children That Carbon Emissions are Destructive and Unjust
The focal point of the event is the airing of the National Teach-In webcast [video] — a turgid amalgam of alarmist exaggerations, scare stories, unsubstantiated projections and outlandish conclusions, all dosed out with a spoonful of socialism disguised as kid-friendly sounding “fairness” and “justice.” [Note: emphasis added throughout]
Program Co-Director Eban Goodstein opens with the spectacular and unauthenticated announcement that if you’re under 30, then “over your lifetime the planet is going to heat up somewhere between 4 and 10 degrees Fahrenheit,” then offers the vexed kids salvation in that “by the time you reach my age, you will bring an end to the fossil-fuel era.” He then rattles off a flighty laundry list of ways their generation “will lay the foundation for a just and sustainable world.” Read that redistribute wealth and technology on an international level.
PCAP advisor David Orr adds more liberal fantasy, claiming that proper energy and climate policy will somehow solve crime, foreign policy, poverty and yes — fairness issues. And activist Dianne Dillon Ridgley also supplements the class struggle appeal, praising future good climate policy for “bringing equity and justice into the entire workings of this country.”
Fairness? Equity? Justice? Surely, these are words more suited to chic anti-establishment “back-to-nature” 60′s leftovers than modern climate experts.
But National Wildlife Federation Policy Coordinator Ragini Kapadia baits a different hook, attempting to tap youthful pride by crediting the young with driving historic social changes like civil rights, women’s suffrage and ending the Viet Nam war. And for those children hip to the dazzling disconnect between those genuine issues and hyped AGW, her boss sits ready to exploit another kid-friendly issue — animal welfare. NWF president Larry Schweiger makes the outrageous, and again — unsubstantiated, claim that scientists “have told us that we’re going to lose somewhere between thirty and even upwards of seventy percent of the total species of life on the planet” if we don’t act quickly. Seventy percent? Which scientists? Have these people no shame?
Goodstein returns to tell young viewers — with a straight face, mind you — that for the past 30 years scientists have been “desperately searching for some other explanation than the blanketing effect of Carbon Dioxide to explain the rapid warming of the planet.” But, asserts Goodstein:
“It’s not solar variations, it’s not natural cycles, and the simple carbon blanket story explains the data with frightening elegance. The IPCC has shown that to hold global warming to the low end, we must act in the next year or two.”
Such a classic alarmist fusion of two Goebbels techniques: one asserting that successful propaganda “must confine itself to a few points and repeat them over and over,” and the other exemplified by these words spoken during a speech intended to reinvigorate Nazi resolve after the devastating Battle of Stalingrad: “Danger faces us. We must act quickly and decisively, or it will be too late.”
Notice how as recent cooling threatens warmists with their own philosophical Stalingrad, they sound increasingly similar to the Nazi Propaganda Minister? How ironic that it is they who’ve exploited Holocaust allegory in calling skeptics “deniers” and coal trains “boxcars headed to crematoria.”
For his grand finale, Goodstein adds a stunningly egocentric new twist to the old logical fallacy of appeal to authority by claiming that “while many Americans, including many political leaders, do not understand the profound risks posed by the nonlinear dynamics of the climate system, as educators, students, and informed citizens — we do.” I invite you to read those words again, this time aware that they were spoken by an Economics Professor.
Sadly, the children will be exposed only to the professor’s solipsistic it’s true because I say so scientific method, and, short parental intervention, will learn nothing of the 650-plus and growing number of international scientists challenging AGW.
Step 2: Teach the Children They Can Solve The “Carbon Problem”
The MTV style High School model suggests organizers “plan a cool event,” which includes airing Gore’s eco-sci-fi flick and holding forums with hysterical titles like Meaning of Mass Extinction and The End of Suburbia?, and such activities as having a Climate Friendly Dance and holding a Car Bash. For those not green-savvy, the latter is when you “allow students to pay a few dollars to take a couple good whacks at a donated SUV or other inefficient vehicle.” No methane fermentable feces.
But it’s the Kindergarten through 8th grade model these dread-o-philes have concocted that’s the more disturbing. It augments its unilateral rhetoric with two dubiously conceived hands-on science projects, one which claims to model “the effect of CO2 and other ‘greenhouse gases’ on the Earth’s temperature.” Young students are instructed to divide an empty aquarium into two equal parts and to create CO2 on one side using vinegar and baking soda. Light sources of equal brightness and distance are then shone into both sides, and their temperature is documented for ten minutes in sixty second intervals. The project instructions state that:
“CO2 is heavier than air, so will stay in the chamber if undisturbed. This demonstrates the effect of CO2 hanging in the atmosphere. The students should be able to show that the CO2 remained in the chamber, and at the end of the experiment, the temperature was higher in that compartment than the one only filled with air.”
Given their confidence in the outcome, and the false impression it might leave on developing minds, I wondered whether the experiment actually provided valid evidence of any greenhouse effect driven by CO2 concentrations in Earth’s atmosphere.
Smelling a big green rat, I posed the question to climate expert Dr. Roy Spencer, who was gracious enough to reply:
I discussed the experiment with a couple of other experts, and it seems to us the experiment is not well designed. The warming effect from the extra CO2 would be so small that other differences between the two sides of the aquarium in the experiment would probably dominate. For instance,
1. How do you make sure you have exactly the same light intensity going into both sides?
2. What about the chemical reaction on the side the CO2 is generated on? Does it generate heat, or absorb it?
3. What about the extra water vapor on the CO2 side? The chemical reaction that produces CO2 also produces water, which means there will be more water vapor on that side, and water vapor absorbs visible light and that might make it warmer.
All in all, the experiment gives the impression that the warming effect of CO2 is large, when it is really quite small. But probably 50% of the people who do the experiment will get the CO2 side warmer just by chance…like flipping a coin.
Any doubt that 50% will be spun as anything short of conclusive?
So then, wrongly convinced that they’ve just verified AGW, the children are asked to ponder sources of “human-induced creation or release of greenhouse gases.” And in an effort to inflict maximum asinine “carbon footprint” shame on these poor kids, they’re taught that “even though a thing may not require energy to work, the creation of the thing may have taken a lot of energy and contributed to global warming.”
So virtually everything they and mommy and daddy do that requires energy is bad.
Stopping The Hansen-Jugend Blitz
Between 1936 and 1945, German boys 13 and older were forced to join a paramilitary group known as Hitler-Jugend (Hitler Youth), where they were indoctrinated early into the Nazi belief system, most notably eugenics and its cousin — anti-Semitism. They, too, were taught that their parents were potentially ideologically dangerous. And they, too, were expected to proselytize their elders. Adolf Hitler was well aware that many adults saw right through Nazi propaganda, and his remedy was disturbingly similar to that of climate alarmists described by Marlo Lewis in the first section of this piece.
But Hitler Youth also acted as clandestine thought police, denouncing anyone criticizing party doctrine – often including their parents. And while books like James Russell’s How to Turn Your Parents Green currently provoke children to only “nag, pester, bug, torment, and punish people who are merrily wrecking our world,” what might the future hold for these Hansen Youth as green regulation and legislation spew from the deranged warmists in Congress and our new Administration?
So how do we save our kids’ minds from these eco-fascists? Sure, we retain some control over the green nonsense our kids are exposed to on TV and online. And should we choose to send them to a University or church that preaches this baloney, well, that’s our decision. But the public schools are another matter. To me, teaching AGW dogma to my children is no different or less outrageous than training them in another man’s religion. In fact, AGW has become such a pagan creed that a case might one day be made that such instruction violates the “Establishment Clause” of the First Amendment.
But until then, it’s up to us to loudly discourage our school districts from such “teach-ins” and to remove any green mush that nonetheless finds itself between our kids’ ears.
And to teach our children well.
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 8:51
In France this thread would be called “Royale with Blart”.
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 8:56
Anonymous needs to Blart the big one.
Global Blarting denier.
goat or panic said,
February 5, 2009 at 9:01
Mom, Dad please recycle = Mom, Dad please sent the Goldsteins to the gas chamber.
Fucktard
justblart said,
February 5, 2009 at 10:18
The Blart of Monte Christo
actor212 said,
February 5, 2009 at 16:08
recent cooling
Of the five hottest years on record, four have been in this decade and the other was 1998.
Who the fuck are you kidding?
D.N. Nation said,
February 5, 2009 at 17:47
You sure? I thought we got up to 1000 in Zombie Thread I’s first day.
wordblarti said,
February 6, 2009 at 0:49
Is it OK to stop this now?
MarkusR said,
February 6, 2009 at 1:23
This thread needs more Blart.
Auguste said,
February 6, 2009 at 8:45
You know I can’t blart without you,
can’t blart without you,
can’t blart and I can’t blart,
I’m finding it blart to blart anything…
actor212 said,
February 6, 2009 at 18:48
Ohoodlord, Maniblarting????
We’re just two blarts,
That blart in the niiiiiiiiiiiiight
Oh Blarty, you came
But you gave without blarting
So I sent you away!
Could it be blating?
Come! Come! Come into my blarts
Let me know the wonder
Of all your blarts
D.N. Nation said,
February 9, 2009 at 19:58
Blart.
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 11, 2009 at 0:26
Zomblart thread is undead
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2009 at 0:33
VLADIMIR and ESTRAGON:
(turning simultaneously). Do you—
VLADIMIR:
Oh pardon!
ESTRAGON:
Carry on.
VLADIMIR:
No no, after you.
ESTRAGON:
No no, you first.
VLADIMIR:
I interrupted you.
ESTRAGON:
On the contrary.
They glare at each other angrily.
VLADIMIR:
Ceremonious ape!
ESTRAGON:
Punctilious pig!
VLADIMIR:
Finish your phrase, I tell you!
ESTRAGON:
Finish your own!
Silence. They draw closer, halt.
VLADIMIR:
Moron!
ESTRAGON:
That’s the idea, let’s abuse each other.
They turn, move apart, turn again and face each other.
VLADIMIR:
Moron!
ESTRAGON:
Vermin!
VLADIMIR:
Abortion!
ESTRAGON:
Morpion!
VLADIMIR:
Sewer-rat!
ESTRAGON:
Curate!
VLADIMIR:
Cretin!
ESTRAGON:
(with finality). BLAARRRRRRRT!
VLADIMIR:
Oh!
He wilts, vanquished, and turns away.
D.N. Nation said,
February 11, 2009 at 20:39
Blart!
Rusty Shackleford said,
February 12, 2009 at 19:28
B 2 tha lizznart
Coach Urban Meyer said,
March 17, 2009 at 18:39
Ding dong blart, loony libs.
Rusty Shackleford said,
May 7, 2009 at 20:11
Dijon blartstard on a blart dog
D.N. Nation said,
November 5, 2009 at 0:16
Blarty Blart Blart.