23
A Laurel and Hearty Handshake
We hate sending hits to The Poor Man because he was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when he met No, and five months later on he has the world at his feet, and never comes and says hello.
Rrowrr! Hsfptht! Would you like us to…”
No no, evil cat minion. We’re all grown-ups here.
But the old Poor Man, despite pinning you to the sofa and forcing you to look at his baby pictures from time to time, is a brilliant polemicist and quite often an analyst second only to Billmon and Digby — next to whom second place is a golden and bejeweled laurel wreath. (We’d like to point out, just this one time, that we CAN do that sort of thing here, but are too lazy and slovenly, and often drunk, to do it frequently or with any aplomb. Plus, no one links or comments when we do, because this place is basically a zoo filled with howling baboons — not a bad thing).
Anyway, back to the brilliantine (in the strict-French, not the ‘pomade’ sense) dawn-ray that is the Poor Man’s essay today. Go check this one out.
Yes, right? If we each had one of these, we could give each other ‘fellowships’ and ‘jobs,’ and endow musical swappy-chairs with each other’s names. Directorships, trusteeships. It’s exactly how it’s done.
Let’s start with an award.
The No Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Criticism.
We’ll come up with an original proclamation and graphic as soon as we figure out a list of trustees and all those other details. But it is our privilege to present the first No Award to our colleague TBogg, for his tireless, yet always inspired work in stomping the fuckers making sense of the often-baffling ebb and flow of contemporary culture and politics.
So let’s totally squander the rest of today’s Atrios link-spike (they never hang around anyway) by sending all vistors piling Bogward. Tip the barman, shake the Congressman’s hand, and please make all checks payable to No.
F.M. Asshat said,
August 24, 2005 at 0:35
I don’t care how much you beg Gavin. I ain’t giving you “fellowship” or a “job” of any sort.
Gavin M. said,
August 24, 2005 at 0:39
Yeah, well you don’t get a coffee mug or tote bag, then.
Huh, a ‘tote bag.’ Hey, totebag!
God, trolls. Where are they coming from?
F.M. Asshat said,
August 24, 2005 at 0:40
Happily, there’s a merry bunch of Trollz already posting at the PoorMan thread that you linked too. WE KNOW AND SEE ALL. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Gavin M. said,
August 24, 2005 at 0:43
If you see those other guys, the non-troll guys, tell them there are trusteeships up for grabs. Total ground-floor opportunity.
GregH said,
August 24, 2005 at 0:46
I already claimed the Marie Jon’ Chair in the Department of English and Nude Photography.
F.M. Asshat said,
August 24, 2005 at 0:49
And I claimed the “Hottest Young Conservative Writer on the Internets.” Sorry, Yoseforoni. Your reign has ended.
rkrider said,
August 24, 2005 at 1:45
Picking on wingnuts is like shooting fish in a barrel.
teh l4m3 said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:13
Hey, can I intern and then get shipped to run the CPA in the future Green Zone in Tehran? I can pretend I’ve read Ayn Rand and act extra virginy and stuff…
jkd said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:42
“act extra virginy and stuff…”
Would this involve dousing yourself in Bertolli?
Pinko Punko said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:44
I’m all over the Scaife-Mellon Distinguished Professorship and Chair of Moneyed Malfeasance
Greg H said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:46
Teh, you may be extra virginy but are you expellor pressed?
Capt. Trollypants said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:49
I got dibs on “Largest Membered Hottest Young Conservative Writer on the Internets that Likes, Women Not Other Dudes Like GregH or Yosef”
wah wah- LOOZERS!
F.M. Asshat said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:54
Sweet Ass Bro!!!! Yosef and GregH just got Schuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuled by Cap’n T!!!!!1!!!!1!!
Hemlock Echo said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:54
There’s no spirit in your filthy lacivious TBogg other than contempt for God and the USA!
The Editors said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:55
We’re shy.
F.M. Asshat said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:56
Notice how the fine folks at the Editors’ place our far to sophisticated to fall for baiting by Trollz. NOT LIKE THE LOSER FREAKS AT THIS DUMP!!!1!!
F.M. Asshat said,
August 24, 2005 at 2:59
You call yourself a bog? You aint’ even fit to lick the boots of a bog like the Poormans’!!!
F.M. Asshat said,
August 24, 2005 at 3:06
Even I had to tone it down while posting at the Poorman’. I only made one BJ joke but I felt really bad afterwards.
jkd said,
August 24, 2005 at 4:04
“I only made one BJ joke but I felt really bad afterwards.”
Kinda like your mom only your mom doesn’t make BJ jokes she gives BJs an she doesn’t feel bad afterwards cuz she likes doing it an she gives way more than one an then she comes an tells you all the jokes you need to make so she can give you your milk money, right?
Yosef said,
August 24, 2005 at 4:18
Sorry, Asshat. You’ll have to defeat me in competition to win that title. No one has done it yet.
I would be honored to be a trustee of the Institute of SadNo Fellows*. The only thing I would ask in return is what any trustee of anything would ask: a briefcase full of cash delivered to my home once a quarter.
*By “Fellows” i mean it as the innocent all inclusive term, not as a synonym foy men. So back off D. Sidhe and Lucy!
Major Shortssniffer said,
August 24, 2005 at 4:19
DOOD!!!1!!!11!! jkd just scolled Asshat!@!111!!11
You gonna sit there an take tha, Assie?\
LOL!!!1!!!!11!!!!
Dan said,
August 24, 2005 at 4:42
Already being named the Doug Giles Scholar of Virile, Christian, and Aggressively Heterosexual Not-Gayness, I have been wandering the ether in search of an institute to house my completely rigid majesty. I think I have found a home. Just don’t tell Volokh about me, he’s been giving me the eyes for weeks and it sort of creeps me out.
Capt. Trollypants said,
August 24, 2005 at 4:54
YEah, does the Editors have some invocation about not feeding the trolls like LGF? That’s so cool. And like how the eff can the trolls even get on LGF, it seems like thta whole code of conduct thing is BS???
teh l4m3 said,
August 24, 2005 at 5:36
jkd: only if it’s the brand Ben Shapiro slicks up with.
GregH: of course, otherwise my delicate oils might get all damaged.
Major Shortssniffer said,
August 24, 2005 at 5:48
Capn, thas the porblem wiht thes lib moonbats. You try to engag them in hoenst debate, and they wont evben respond to you! The most theyl evr do is start callin names, and maybe stsart callin Hitlery Clinton to fight for them!!1!!!11!!!!
D. Sidhe said,
August 24, 2005 at 5:58
*By “Fellows” i mean it as the innocent all inclusive term, not as a synonym foy men. So back off D. Sidhe and Lucy!
Either way, Ann Coulter’s eligible, so no complaints.
Jo Fish said,
August 24, 2005 at 19:06
I put in my bid in comments over there:
I need a new job anyhow.
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