We have been made aware of internets making slanderous postings of a libelous nature. Receipt of this post by No! will be construed as legal confirmation that you have been made aware that serious legal consequences shall follow, should you not desist forth-with.
“We have been made aware of internets making slanderous postings of a libelous nature…”
Shouldn’t that be libelous postings of a slanderous nature?
How about libidinous postings of a prurient nature?
or
How about Republican lies of a conservative nature?
(Please specify which internets…i.e. the ones on earth or Mars or Zebulon or Uranus?)
Attempt to preempt a client by soliciting legal representation vis a vis means of comments sections of bog posts can result in a revocation of all entitlements hereby authorized vis a vis the Bar of the State of South Carolina, et al. Legal representation such as ours has heretofore been slandered and libeled by such as yours by creating a new libelous label hereafter referred to as “blogchasers”. You will cease and desist in soliciting repartee from heretofore unnamed parties hereafter named as Gorge, Jeff and Gavin, in any attempt to discredit the entire United Bar Association of the States, Commonwealths, and Provinces of the USA (hereafter named UBASCPUSA) or have your charter thereby revoked in a legally “naughty” nature. Viewing of this post by the New York Law Firm, hereafter referred to as NAMBLA, qualifies as receipt and assent to above noted Cease and Desist decree.
Be it known by all men, women and fauna hereby present that this portion of the internets, also known and doing business as Sadly, No!, henceforth shall be deemed to be slanderiferous and libelodorous, and subject to all rights, duties, obligations, accoutrements and condiments accorded therewith. Unless and until the perpetrators and perpetuators of the calumnitous bloggifications set forth hereinabove and thereinbelow shall be brought forth to stand trial before a judicature and jurisdictional entity, with all deliberate speed, this section of the internets shall be declared off limits, out of bounds and terra prohibita for all right-thinking persons and personages who do not wish to be associated, exacerbated and incarcerated with the proprietors and probationers responsible for its defamatory nature.
We wish to discuss several possible movie treatments for this blog. We forsee a major treatment of “Sadly, No” for the teen market and a possible adult version for pay-per-view. Marie strikes us as a natural for a particular niche in the adult movie business. Have your people call our people and picture Sean Penn as Yosef.
Our client, a very prominent Television Network, did not give written authorization for the usage of a retired Television Show to which it still owns the rights. LA Law must cease and desist, or at least let us in on the profits from any movie deal made with SadNo Enterprises GmbH.
And Yosef shall be portrayed by Brad Pitt in his “Fight Club” physique.
You are hereby notified.
Addendum 1:
Pinko Punko shall be protrayed by Wilford Brimley.
This is to notify you that under the terms of the restraining order and lein placed on this site and all its assets by Acme Lawfim and Storm Dorr Company, Inc, all previous contracts are null and void. In other words, let’s talk contratcs baby! We can see Brimley but Pitt is box office poison now so if Penn is unacceptable then I suggest we have an appropriate muppet made to be Yosef. We can hire the company that made Alf.
LA Law Firm.
Muppet Company that made Alf Attorneys at Law & sons said,
As the legal representation for said company, we hereby inform the Law Firm which is in flagrant disregard for the Cease and Desist order issued by the NBC Law Firm that our client feels it would be legally and morally reprehensible to fashion a muppet to portray Yosef. We instead nominate the inscrutable actor hereafter referred to as Denzel Washington. Although ethnicity could represent a problem in this decision, we feel it could easily be overlooked by casting George Muresan to portray Brad R.
Pinko Punko said,
August 22, 2005 at 21:48
I saw that on Boing Boing. I too have a burning desire for Youppi and his cousin, Youppoo.
F. M. Asshat said,
August 22, 2005 at 21:54
I’ve been afraid to talk to my doctor about my burning desire. Is there an OTC cure?
firedoglake said,
August 22, 2005 at 22:24
Superb link. I’ll be using that.
Bill S said,
August 22, 2005 at 23:38
That was highly amusing.
davids said,
August 23, 2005 at 2:33
It would be better as
“Professonial Virgin
because otherwise nobody would pay any attention to us at all”
New York Law Firm said,
August 23, 2005 at 2:51
To Whom It May Concern:
We have been made aware of internets making slanderous postings of a libelous nature. Receipt of this post by No! will be construed as legal confirmation that you have been made aware that serious legal consequences shall follow, should you not desist forth-with.
Regards,
Christian Fakenberg, Esq.
New York City Lawyer
Marq said,
August 23, 2005 at 3:02
Aaaalllll-right!! It seems I qualify under both of the categories for whom sex is appropriate! Yes! And not sadly.
Father Tyme said,
August 23, 2005 at 3:38
“We have been made aware of internets making slanderous postings of a libelous nature…”
Shouldn’t that be libelous postings of a slanderous nature?
How about libidinous postings of a prurient nature?
or
How about Republican lies of a conservative nature?
(Please specify which internets…i.e. the ones on earth or Mars or Zebulon or Uranus?)
Uncle Kvetch said,
August 23, 2005 at 3:53
(Click for larger image.)
Not on your fucking life.
The Funny Farm said,
August 23, 2005 at 4:02
Blog Like A Conservative Day
Sunday, 26 Sweltring (Wedmath, sorta), 2005 It seems that while we were off helping to put together a couple of…
(: Tom :) said,
August 23, 2005 at 4:08
(Click for larger image.)
Not on your fucking life.
Well… maybe, just a peek…
[click]
AAAAAAAAGHH!!!!1!1!!! MY EYES!
South Carolina Law Firm said,
August 23, 2005 at 4:42
Notice to the New York Law Firm:
Attempt to preempt a client by soliciting legal representation vis a vis means of comments sections of bog posts can result in a revocation of all entitlements hereby authorized vis a vis the Bar of the State of South Carolina, et al. Legal representation such as ours has heretofore been slandered and libeled by such as yours by creating a new libelous label hereafter referred to as “blogchasers”. You will cease and desist in soliciting repartee from heretofore unnamed parties hereafter named as Gorge, Jeff and Gavin, in any attempt to discredit the entire United Bar Association of the States, Commonwealths, and Provinces of the USA (hereafter named UBASCPUSA) or have your charter thereby revoked in a legally “naughty” nature. Viewing of this post by the New York Law Firm, hereafter referred to as NAMBLA, qualifies as receipt and assent to above noted Cease and Desist decree.
You have been informed.
DC Law Firm said,
August 23, 2005 at 13:29
Before I choose sides I need to know who has the most money. Thank you. DC Law Firm
Tapio said,
August 23, 2005 at 18:31
Before I choose sides I need to know who has the most beer and saunas. Thank you. Finnish Law Firm.
Yosef said,
August 23, 2005 at 18:54
(psst! Tapio, you’re supposed to change your name to the Law Firm name.)
Not Yosef said,
August 23, 2005 at 19:33
psst! Tapio, you’re supposed to change your name to the Law Firm name
psst! Yosef, you’re supposed to change your name to Stanton Carlisle.
A Real Law Firm Fo' Shizzle said,
August 23, 2005 at 19:52
Be it known by all men, women and fauna hereby present that this portion of the internets, also known and doing business as Sadly, No!, henceforth shall be deemed to be slanderiferous and libelodorous, and subject to all rights, duties, obligations, accoutrements and condiments accorded therewith. Unless and until the perpetrators and perpetuators of the calumnitous bloggifications set forth hereinabove and thereinbelow shall be brought forth to stand trial before a judicature and jurisdictional entity, with all deliberate speed, this section of the internets shall be declared off limits, out of bounds and terra prohibita for all right-thinking persons and personages who do not wish to be associated, exacerbated and incarcerated with the proprietors and probationers responsible for its defamatory nature.
Love and kisses,
A Real Law Firm Fo’ Shizzle
Major Shortssniffer said,
August 23, 2005 at 21:45
Heh. The Real Law Firm said “duties”.
LA Law Firm said,
August 23, 2005 at 22:04
We wish to discuss several possible movie treatments for this blog. We forsee a major treatment of “Sadly, No” for the teen market and a possible adult version for pay-per-view. Marie strikes us as a natural for a particular niche in the adult movie business. Have your people call our people and picture Sean Penn as Yosef.
LA Law Firm
NBC Law Firm said,
August 23, 2005 at 22:23
Our client, a very prominent Television Network, did not give written authorization for the usage of a retired Television Show to which it still owns the rights. LA Law must cease and desist, or at least let us in on the profits from any movie deal made with SadNo Enterprises GmbH.
And Yosef shall be portrayed by Brad Pitt in his “Fight Club” physique.
You are hereby notified.
Addendum 1:
Pinko Punko shall be protrayed by Wilford Brimley.
LA Law Firm said,
August 23, 2005 at 23:01
This is to notify you that under the terms of the restraining order and lein placed on this site and all its assets by Acme Lawfim and Storm Dorr Company, Inc, all previous contracts are null and void. In other words, let’s talk contratcs baby! We can see Brimley but Pitt is box office poison now so if Penn is unacceptable then I suggest we have an appropriate muppet made to be Yosef. We can hire the company that made Alf.
LA Law Firm.
Muppet Company that made Alf Attorneys at Law & sons said,
August 23, 2005 at 23:33
As the legal representation for said company, we hereby inform the Law Firm which is in flagrant disregard for the Cease and Desist order issued by the NBC Law Firm that our client feels it would be legally and morally reprehensible to fashion a muppet to portray Yosef. We instead nominate the inscrutable actor hereafter referred to as Denzel Washington. Although ethnicity could represent a problem in this decision, we feel it could easily be overlooked by casting George Muresan to portray Brad R.
Bill S said,
August 28, 2005 at 0:44
Marq, I might qualify under both categories too. I’m a slut in theory. Which is to say, I WOULD be a slut if there were any takers. Does that count?