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When The Ofay Pinay Would Go Away
Classy as ever, it’s Malkin:
About that race-based benediction: “When white will embrace what is right”
By Michelle Malkin • January 20, 2009 01:33 PM[...]
[T]he benediction’s eloquence was marred by glib racialism.
Lowery got big cheers when he weaved in a weird prayer rap expressing his hope for a future in which the “brown would stick around,” the “yellow would be mellow,” the “red man would get ahead, man,” and the “white would embrace the right.”
The “white would embrace the right?”
Who wrote that line? Jeremiah Wright? And what would Obama’s grandparents and mother have to say?
They might begin by noting that Rev. Lowery is 87 years old, and that if Malkin had also been born in 1921, her marriage to a white person (e.g. Jesse Malkin) would have been a crime in many states.
They might then express their hope for a future in which Malkin would stop talkin’, one in which Fox News would take a snooze and Glenn Beck would hit the deck, where right-wing choads would hit the road, where Dan Riehl would cop a deal, Ace would shut his face, Bill Kristol would become distal, K-Lo would go blow; one in which the National Review would go screw and the Ol’ Perfesser would be keiner desto besser, where Mary Katherine Ham would scram, where Brent Bozell would go to Hell.
…Obama’s grandparents and mother? Seriously, Obama’s grandparents and his mother?
But let’s have the last word go to one of Malkin’s commenters:
Every honest, non-racist white person should be HORRIFIED that such a remark is even thought ‘acceptable’ let alone spoken at a federal ceremony.
I’m no racist and I’ve been a good Christian but ‘these people’ are really starting to tick me off!
Or no, actually, let’s avoid that bitter finish and have the last word go to Ann Nixon Cooper, age 107, a senior representative of ‘these people.’
…Cooper said she always believed she might live to see a black man sworn in as president of the United States.
“I had that in mind all the time — all the time — hoping for a great change that would happen in my day,” she said, a charm necklace with a gold “107″ around her neck.
“I was hoping that it would happen in my time.”
This moment in history, she said, marks one of the greatest days of her event-filled life.
“I’m most excited about it … just nothing but the greatest,” she said, a wide smile spread across her face. “Our new president means nothing but more freedom as a human being. That’s all. That’s all it could mean to us. You feel more like a real person.”
Update: Outrage!!! Rev. Lowery claims never to have seen the good side of the city until he hitched a ride on a so-called riverboat queen:
Wait, wrong song. Gaah! Outrage!!! Rev. Lowery asserts that the ink is black and the paper is white and that together we learn to so-called read and write, i.e. with the ink on top of the paper…
Wait, no. Unbelievable outrage!!! Rev. Lowery wants to, as he claims, “ride a painted pony and let the spinning wheel spin”…
[Cf.]
Tyrone Shoelaces said,
January 22, 2009 at 7:26
She’s such a cute little booger.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
January 22, 2009 at 7:39
Y’know, I’ll be honest.
I thought that benediction was bad.
Of course, in direct contrast to what these halfwits think was the problem, I was more worried over the use of “yellow” and “red man”. I mean, I know we managed to kill most of the Indians and all, but seriously? Red Man?
And I’m sure all those yellow people (like the Malkin frequently seems to forget she is) would wonder why they have to be the ones who’re mellow.
But yeah, let’s fret over the white man’s feelings. I’m sure he’s tearing up all his money out of sullen rage.
noen said,
January 22, 2009 at 7:41
She’s not going to age well. She lost the Fox gig and is already having to dig deeper and deeper into the bottom of the barrel to attract readers.
Fozzetti said,
January 22, 2009 at 7:43
these wingnut neocons really have no idea what racism is…much more that words. Like lynchings, long imprisonment for petty crimes, hopeless poverty and misery briefly alleviated by deadly drugs. And so much more.
No, to them racism is saying something critical of white people! Oh the pain, the indignity, the outrage of being criticized.
henry lewis said,
January 22, 2009 at 7:47
Where Pam Geller wouldn’t post a smeller…
Mr. Tactful said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:03
….where Cavuto gets boned by Bluto….
Marco said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:09
Where Jeff Gannon isn’t renting out his cannon…
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:20
I’ll tell you exactly what that benediction made me want to do.
All I wanted to do was just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:27
There must be fifty ways to leave an inauguration.
Lesley said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:28
I’m no racist and I’ve been a good Christian but
ah, the niggling “but” that gets in the way of him being a good person.
Guwapo said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:33
Why doesn’t Jesse sign his own columns?
blastaar said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:35
Please, help to spread the word: the prayer is a reworking of the lyrics of the great Big Bill Broonzy’s “Black Brown & White” (1951).
http://blueslyrics.tripod.com/artistswithsongs/big_bill_broonzy_1.htm#black_brown_and_white_version
Between Aretha’s hat and Big Bill allusions, best inauguration ever.
“Weird prayer rap” indeed.
D. Sidhe said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:51
THANK YOU, blastaar. Jesus, yes, it’s a fucking SONG. If I have to explain this to one more giggling moron, I’m gonna scream. People my age know fucking nothing.
Smut Clyde said,
January 22, 2009 at 8:53
And what would Obama’s grandparents and mother have to say?
BRAINSSSS!
jim said,
January 22, 2009 at 9:23
It’s just so cool to see all the wingnuts’ wheels twirling frantically in mid-air, unable to get any traction for love or money. Can’t even avoid running a franchise predicated on fear & hatred into the toilet in a BAD economy? These people should all change their names to “Faily McFailpants” … they couldn’t give away free dildoes to nymphomaniacs right now.
That excerpt honestly sounds like the aftermath of chronic mercury poisoning. Glib racialism? Weird prayer rap?
I’d say by now its well past Detox O’Clock for Malkintent – she’ll be killing & eating the neighbours’ pets soon at this rate.
Hey, at least they didn’t do any of those horrible evil terrorist fist-bumps!
Just Alison said,
January 22, 2009 at 9:58
Smut at 8.53 for the win.
M. Bouffant said,
January 22, 2009 at 9:58
They did that Hawai’ian thing that looks like The “Hook ‘Em, ‘Horns” thing, at the band from the Prez’s High School. Looked like gang signs/terrorist fist-bumps to me.
Till said,
January 22, 2009 at 10:08
Maybe someone could bring back the quaintly offensive term “Mohammedan” (as in “Barry Hussein Abdul X is a Secret Mask Mohammedan”). It should be a fun project for a right-wing blogger. They clearly have nothing better to do.
merl said,
January 22, 2009 at 12:29
I wonder if Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage knows that she isn’t white? Who wants to tell her?
Athenawise said,
January 22, 2009 at 12:53
Love the photoshopped Malkin-Coulter (Malter-Coulkin?) look, Gav.
LittlePig said,
January 22, 2009 at 15:13
Please, help to spread the word: the prayer is a reworking of the lyrics of the great Big Bill Broonzy’s “Black Brown & White” (1951).
Good grief. Even a lame-ass white pig like me knew that one.
Matt T. said,
January 22, 2009 at 15:21
Please, help to spread the word: the prayer is a reworking of the lyrics of the great Big Bill Broonzy’s “Black Brown & White” (1951).
Good luck. Remember, these are people who thought “black culture” started in the ’80s.
JK47 said,
January 22, 2009 at 15:25
Where Pastor Swank wouldn’t be so stank…
kiki said,
January 22, 2009 at 15:43
All I’ve got is ‘where Bill-O would take a pill-O and chill-O’, or perhaps ‘where O’Reilly would be smiley’, but they both sound a bit too benevolent. But then, ‘where Bill O’Reilly would lose all his money in an API-style ‘expose Obama’ scheme and then catch a debilitating venereal disease and then get hit by a fucking bus’ doesn’t rhyme.
D. Sidhe said,
January 22, 2009 at 16:03
Reactionary fuckwit Glenn Beck apparently was also appalled that Obama *smiled* at this racist poem, because, you know, Obama wouldn’t ever have heard the fucking song and wouldn’t have gotten the joke and wouldn’t have found that funny.
What kills me is that we have these here internets, which, if they serve any purpose other than porn delivery, make it incredibly easy and fast to look shit up. It’s the easiest thing in the world to type in a fucking phrase and find out why other people seem to know something you don’t. And yet the world spins on, full of technologically privileged fatuous pearl-clutchers who automatically assume that they know everything and that if everybody else is reacting differently to something, it’s everybody else who’s crazy.
In the words of Handy the sock puppet, Read a book!
Jennifer said,
January 22, 2009 at 16:03
Where O’Reilly will not be bile-y?
better:
Where Bill-O can relax with his dildo.
or:
Where Bill-O bites a pillow.
JoeBuddha said,
January 22, 2009 at 16:45
That picture was photoshopped????
g said,
January 22, 2009 at 17:01
I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would take offense at “white embrace the right.”
Unless, that is, you’re so hypersensitive you feel that wishing someone “Happy holidays” is a vile insult.
g said,
January 22, 2009 at 17:03
“Weird prayer rap” indeed.
Yes, the most amusing thing about having a black president is going to be the exposure of the Right Wing’s ignorance and lameness. They really don’t have any black friends.
D.N. Nation said,
January 22, 2009 at 17:05
The Doughy Miniload is wrong on two levels here, as Obama’s smile was obviously kind of a half-grimace, the kind you’d whip out when gramps makes a dated reference to minorities at Thanksgiving.
chocolatepie said,
January 22, 2009 at 17:12
Please, help to spread the word: the prayer is a reworking of the lyrics of the great Big Bill Broonzy’s “Black Brown & White” (1951).
On those lyrics, they footnoted the word “hoe.” Foot. Noted.
Really? REALLY?
BtI said,
January 22, 2009 at 17:19
Till: Not Mohammedan. Worshipper of Mahomet. Sounds much more Gibbonesque and you can pretend the Turks really are crowding around the walls of Vienna.
Rusty Shackleford said,
January 22, 2009 at 17:22
Give Malkin’s commenters a break. It’s tough being white in America. Especially with our new Dusky Muslomunnist Overlord.
actor212 said,
January 22, 2009 at 17:23
They might then express their hope for a future in which Malkin would stop talkin’, one in which Fox News would take a snooze and Glenn Beck would hit the deck, where right-wing choads would hit the road, where Dan Riehl would cop a deal, Ace would shut his face, Bill Kristol would become distal, K-Lo would go blow; one in which the National Review would go screw and the Ol’ Perfesser would be keiner desto besser, where Mary Katherine Ham would scram, where Brent Bozell would go to Hell.
Ann Coulter under a boulder! Captain Ed would be…well, I would never threaten anyone! Sean Hannity for reasons of insanity! Michael Savage eats a cabbage! Jonah Goldberg stuck on an iceberg!
tb said,
January 22, 2009 at 18:07
… when Savage will have been ravaged, when Will will hold the swill, when Wallace will no longer maul us, when Krauthammer will be detained in a kraut slammer, when Limbuaugh will be seen as resembling Simba, and when Hume will swallow his words and not spew ‘em. When Coulter will be warmer, when Hinderaker will… Hinderaker will… he’ll… ah… there’s really nothing… a little help?
Djur said,
January 22, 2009 at 18:08
You’re too late.
EnfantTerrible said,
January 22, 2009 at 18:25
I’m no racist and I’ve been a good Christian but ‘these people’ are really starting to tick me off!
Dear Wingnut Commenter:
When you say “I affirm A, but B”, you are actually affirming B while rendering A meaningless. The classic example is “I love you, BUT…”
“I love you, BUT I can’t abide your lack of personal hygiene”.
Meaning, “I’m dumping you, Mr./Ms. Smelly Feet”.
“I love you, BUT I wish you wouldn’t leave the toilet seat up”.
Meaning “I’m going postal if I fall into the commode one more time when
I use the bathroom in the middle of the night”.
“I love you, BUT I wish you wouldn’t squeeze from the middle of the
toothpaste tube”.
Meaning “You annoy the hell out of me”.
A better sentence would be “I affirm A, AND B…” Try substituting “and” for “but” in the above examples and in your original statement. Works much better, I think!
actor212 said,
January 22, 2009 at 18:34
when Hinderaker will… Hinderaker will… he’ll… ah… there’s really nothing… a little help?
Hinderaker is a slime raker.
Mr. Wonderful said,
January 22, 2009 at 18:54
“But then, ‘where Bill O’Reilly would lose all his money in an API-style ‘expose Obama’ scheme and then catch a debilitating venereal disease and then get hit by a fucking bus’ doesn’t rhyme.”
No, it doesn’t rhyme, but it’s sheer poetry, Kiki.
DAS said,
January 22, 2009 at 18:56
Rev. Lowery asserts that the ink is black and the paper is white and that together we learn to so-called read and write, i.e. with the ink on top of the paper…
5 y.o. telling a joke: what’s black and white and read all over?
Wingnut: if your parents are so liberal, then why are you such a racist?
tb said,
January 22, 2009 at 19:11
Hm, when Hinderaker’s own hind is aching?
Jeff said,
January 22, 2009 at 20:12
Not to try to outdo Lesley, but my take is:
I’m no racist… but ‘these people’
There it is in a nutshell. The complete and utter lack of self-awareness, the denial. Probably feels he can claim to not be a racist because he never personally lynched any black people.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, Godless Heathen said,
January 22, 2009 at 20:31
when Hinderaker will… Hinderaker will… he’ll… ah… there’s really nothing… a little help?
When Hinderaker will find a maker…of quality butt plugs,
When Loofah Bill takes a Truth-uh Pill,
When Joe Wurzelbacher stops acting like a mother-focker…
They’re really saying “I Love You.”
What a Wonderful Woooorrrrrllllddddddd!!!!
Gus said,
January 22, 2009 at 20:44
I love me some Big Bill Broonzy!
Smut Clyde said,
January 22, 2009 at 21:53
these here internets, which, if they serve any purpose other than porn delivery,
Now that’s crazy talk.
The Goddamn Batman Would Risk His Neck For His Brother Man said,
January 22, 2009 at 22:02
I think that MichMalk actually feeds on self-hatred.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 22, 2009 at 22:08
Where Filipino, won’t make Sadly, no.
Mike's Dumbmerica said,
January 22, 2009 at 22:42
One of my favorite parts:
…Because nobody, and I mean NOBODY, has problems with race relations except Jeremiah Wright. EVERY OTHER HUMAN WALKING THE PLANET is cool with how things are/have been.
Peanutcat said,
January 22, 2009 at 23:53
Honest to God, I don’t think Malkin realises she’s not white . . . . .
Dorothy said,
January 23, 2009 at 5:38
Please, help to spread the word: the prayer is a reworking of the lyrics of the great Big Bill Broonzy’s “Black Brown & White” (1951).
Good grief. Even a lame-ass white pig like me knew that one.
You know what’s sad?
I’m completely unfamiliar with Big Bill Broonzy and never heard any of his music. Ever.
And I still caught on that Lowry was quoting a song by the third line. But how could I possibly know that? It’s not like there were any clues…
…like the way Lowry said those lines–kind of “sing-songy” almost…
…or the bemused smile on Obama’s face and that nod of recognition…
…from the crowd’s laughter and cheer…
Nope. No way any thinking being who was paying attention could possibly pick up on that.
Bina said,
January 23, 2009 at 8:29
Where Michelle (the Asian White Supremacist) can GO TO HELL!