Jan
19

Shorter Star Parker




Posted at 17:20 by Tintin

star_parker

Obama Has Little in Common with Lincoln

  • People should stop making outrageous comparisons between Obama and Lincoln because Lincoln, unlike Obama, was opposed to abortion and big government.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

263 Comments »

  1. D.N. Nation said,

    January 19, 2009 at 17:26

    It’s ironic that Barack Obama chooses to infuse these opening days of his presidency with the imagery of Abraham Lincoln.

    Not irony.

    As Lincoln observed, the prayers of all cannot be answered. Unless we’re resigned to meaninglessness

    If you want to spout this, then learn the meaning of “irony,” you bigoted twit.

  2. Marco said,

    January 19, 2009 at 17:38

    Was Star having one of her 42 abortions while writing this? Or did she who says you can’t haz one now only have 41?

  3. J— said,

    January 19, 2009 at 17:43

    Parker:

    On the hardest moral dilemma of his day, Abraham Lincoln stepped up to the plate and took a stand. He did not say that it was above his pay grade. And this is what makes Abraham Lincoln very different from Barack Obama.

    Lincoln also understood that the best metaphors are mixed.

    One more thing. Lincoln, a Republican and hence a proponent of small government, made sure the federal government’s size and scope did not expand while he was in office. I know this is true because Lincoln was a Republican and was therefore committed to small government.

  4. noen said,

    January 19, 2009 at 17:47

    “Lincoln knew that some principles are so fundamental they cannot be compromised. He knew that we couldn’t ignore our key differences.”

    So…. she’s saying we shouldn’t try to overcome our differences and that the Left should go to war against the Right? Emotionally I might agree with her but Obama has the right strategy I think. By urging for unity what Obama will do, if successful, is bring the independents in and further isolate conservatives. It’s a good strategy, I hope it works.

  5. owlbear1 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 17:53

    Sanctity of life and sanctity of property are cut from the same cloth of eternal law.

    In the view of many, including me, it’s this law that defines our free country.

    Our new president, who sanctions both abortion and massive government intrusion into our economic lives, sees things very differently.

    You keep using that word “sancitity”. You have no fucking clue what it means do you?

  6. 3D said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:03

    This is from her comments.

    Just like Bagdad Bob… the press is going to spin everything that happens while the messiah is in office. Even if the nation collapses around us, the press will be in denial.

    Have they really not been seeing this exact same thing happening with Bush for basically 9 years since Bush started campaigning?

  7. ignatov said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:05

    “Star” Jones:

    moral problems lie at the root of our faltering economy

    This is a dubious proposition at best.

    (PS – Thanks for keeping the place open, Tintin.)

  8. chocolatepie said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:07

    We all know Abraham Lincoln wore a silk top hat, which Obama can’t do because it would be elitist. Oh my god, isn’t that ironic?

  9. pablo said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:08

    Those who are ignorant of history are doomed to rewrite it.

  10. slip said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:08

    “As Americans killed each other, he observed: “Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God … The prayers of both could not be answered …”

    What did she elide? Might it be something about pay grade?

    “It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged.”

  11. D.N. Nation said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:08

    You keep using that word “sancitity”. You have no fucking clue what it means do you?

    The nice men who pay her wingnut welfare use it. That’s all that matters.

    A puzzle: Which is worse? Parker’s time on welfare, or Parker’s time on wingnut welfare?

  12. Wes F. in Hapeville said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:12

    Parker’s time on actual welfare was more honorable than her time on wingnut welfare by at least an order of magnitude.

    WF

  13. gbear said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:13

    ‘Star Parker’ is totally a pr0n name.

  14. Grace Nearing said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:13

    Just dress the fetuses in Civil War uniforms and let them battle it out.

  15. Der Kater said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:14

    This is a dubious proposition at best.

    Well, if you consider greed to be that “moral problem”, you’d have a reasonably strong (if overly simplistic) case to make.

  16. Doug Watts said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:18

    Lincoln felt blacks were inherently inferior to whites.

    So there’s a difference too.

  17. Doug Watts said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:19

    And what’s a pic of Rita Marley doing on Sadly !

    ?

  18. islmfaoscist said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:19

    Sanctity of life and sanctity of property are cut from the same cloth of eternal law.

    Oh yeah, that commandment against high taxes was just engraved in a much tinier font than the one against killin’, but they were right there on the same tablet.

  19. The National Champion Cool Coach! said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:21

    Ding a ling, loser libizzles, I know you’ve been clamoring for the Cool Coach and all masterful matters of SPREAD to be bequeathed upon you silly simpletons, but the funky fact of the matter is, I’ve been partying with my NATIONAL CHAMPION FLORIDA GATORS BABY! in recent days, having no time for you loony libs! Badoodle-boo-yeah! And since Teebs is coming back in ‘09, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself on my SPREAD of TRUTH ICEBERG in the North Super Sarah Sea! Not to mention how Obummer’s disaster in-nerd-uration will send the Moron Messiah’s popularity numbers down, down, down to the grizzound! Slap!

    You just got served with another SPREAD, loser libs! Urban out.

  20. Jennifer said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:22

    What did she elide? Might it be something about pay grade?

    “It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged.”

    Oh wow, Star. See, now that’s ironic – the fact that you would leave out the part where Lincoln suggests that sitting on your ass and mooching off the people actually doing the work is kind of a selfish thing for you to ask God to help you accomplish…which is what the Republican Party (of God) has been promoting on behalf of the ass-sitters for quite some time now…those ass-sitters finding their fiercest champions amongst white southern males descended from those who prayed for God’s help for ass-sitting and mooching some 150 years ago…and so we come full-circle.

    …wait…which way did the irony go?

  21. Prospero said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:27

    Well, if you consider greed to be that “moral problem”, you’d have a reasonably strong (if overly simplistic) case to make.

    Yes, but he’s probably talking about unwed black mothers here or something…

  22. Heretic said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:28

    J-

    On the hardest moral dilemma of his day, Abraham Lincoln stepped up to the plate and took a stand. He did not say that it was above his pay grade. And this is what makes Abraham Lincoln very different from Barack Obama.

    I actually read this as “He did not say that it was above his gay parade.” No shit.

    As another great American statesman said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

  23. Doug Watts said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:30

    Lincoln would agree with 3/5ths of what she has to say.

    The Kingfish adds:

    Ackchewully, the number of der times the Presidentum would listen to little lady would be mo like zero. Cuz duh Lincoln O’ Der Nawthh warn’t up too much on dee sufferagem er concept fo’ duh homespun wife-ay-shuns in the nation.

  24. The Goddamn Batman Thinks That Gene Robinson Is A Goddamn Superhero said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:30

    Star almost remembered that Lincoln in fact was not absolutely in favor of “sanctity of property”, given that some of what was defined as property at the time was actually people, but then the ghosts of her aborted fetuses (feti?) started singing along with the Gay Men’s Chorus on HBO, and, well, things got a little fuzzy for a while.

  25. Leonard Pierce said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:32

    Our new president, who sanctions both abortion and massive government intrusion into our economic lives, sees things very differently.

    Yeah, Lincoln sure didn’t sanction massive government intrusion into our economic lives. Like, say, fighting a war to end the basis of half the country’s economic model.

  26. Prospero said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:34

    “It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged.”

    So paying taxes is totally the same as slavery, which is why they should be abolished, but slavery really wasn’t that bad and black people should even be grateful to white people for bringing them over…

  27. gbear said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:35

    Abraham Lincoln stepped up to the plate and took a stand.

    Baseball has been very good to Lincoln.

  28. LittlePig said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:36

    moral problems lie at the root of our faltering economy

    She’s is right, although not in the way she thinks. The moral problem in question is greed by the rich and their enablers. But since wingnuts think greed is a virture, and since that greed is what pays Parker the paycheck, that simple little observation won’t enter their pointy projecting little heads.

  29. Prospero said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:40

    Let the looting begin! I’m going to go hide behind my security fence.

    I think you are a little too late…

  30. Doug Watts said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:45

    Here’s a difference:

    “My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume V, “Letter to Horace Greeley” (August 22, 1862), p. 388.

  31. Loneoak said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:47

    Sanctity of life and sanctity of property are cut from the same cloth of eternal law.

    I’m trying to come up with something witty to say about this, but I am at a loss of words. I have never seen such a perfect distillation of wingnut beliefs. It’s actually kind of beautiful, in that vultures-swarming-a-zebra-corpse-on-the-nature-show kind of way. It’s fascinating to look at in the abstraction of television, but you know that if you were nearby the miasma of rotting flesh and vulture shit would make you vomit all over of your shoes.

  32. Doug Watts said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:48

    Yum Yum:

    “I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in anyway the social and political equality of the white and black races – that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality.”

    The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume III, “Fourth Debate with Stephen A. Douglas at Charleston, Illinois” (September 18, 1858), pp. 145-146.

  33. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:51

    Lemme see….Lincoln was a “small government” leader who used the American fucking military to expand American hegemony over a people who yearned to be free to abuse African Americans, like Star Parker.

    Errrr, hm, maybe she has a point: he sounds more like Bush.

  34. tigrismus said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:55

    Sanctity of life and sanctity of property are cut from the same cloth of eternal law.

    Yeah, about that. No. See, as others have also pointed out, the war was fought at least in part because sanctity of property is fucking bullshit when the property is a human life. If Lincoln actually had considered property per se a sacred, inviolable thing, if he had considered even for a second that those prayers to God for “assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces” were justified rather than the abomination they were, your life might be a wee bit different.

  35. GSD said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:03

    As the inventor of a fetus bio-mass energy plant, I reject the notion that moral problems can’t help the nation get out of the economic doldrums.

    -Dr. Vinny Bombay

  36. Thlayli said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:03

    Can someone translate the 18:21 post for me? I don’t speak loser.

  37. RvB said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:06

    In addition to being almost a mixed metaphor, the line about the “Sweat of other men’s faces” is like a weird twisted version of the Biblical line about paying the workman before his sweat is dried. And how much sweating is some trust fund case doing? Maybe a lot if he’s in the Bahamas or Maui.
    I do think the Bible is crap, incidentally.

  38. Nimrod Gently said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:08

    “I am an unpardonable cretin and I don’t mind demonstrating it.”

  39. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:10

    “What color is the applicant’s skin?” – Michelle Obama, Director of Diversity for UIC Hospital

    I’d bet that wasn’t MLK3, shithead. He said “MY children” according to your whiny little post, Troofie.

    Troll ass kicked? Check! My day is complete!

  40. Emma Anne said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:12

    It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces

    So actually Lincoln *was* in favor of mixed metaphors.

  41. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:12

    The Truth said,

    January 19, 2009 at 18:38

    Let the looting begin! I’m going to go hide behind my security fence.

    Well, that makes sense: Troofie is a Palestinian troll!

  42. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:13

    wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces

    Wouldn’t it be easier to wring the sweat from the bread, rather than the other way around?

  43. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:14

    Poor little Troofie.

    Hey, Troofie?

    Eight years, mohterfucker. Get used to saying “President Obama” and god help you if you so much as hint at anything any less respectful, you whiny maggoty piece of goosestepping gooseshit.

  44. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:15

    Actor212, look up “Helen Suzman” – it will explain my post.

    Dude, the only thing that explains your post is cheap tequila or brain damage.

    You choose. Either of them applies, I’m sure.

  45. WereBear said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:18

    So let me get this straight: going on Wingnut Welfare is the way to get off government welfare?

    I’m all for it. Let the rich feed, clothe, and educate our poor!

    How can we get this ball rolling?

  46. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:19

    I’m all for it. Let the rich feed, clothe, and educate our poor!

    How can we get this ball rolling?

    Forced confiscation. Eminent domain. At gun point.

    Any volunteers?

  47. Prospero said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:19

    My children should be judged by the content of their character, not the color of their skin

    Funny, that’s not what he said at all.

  48. Alanis Morissette said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:22

    Oh my god, isn’t that ironic?

    Don’t you think?

  49. Michael G. said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:25

    Also, while quoting MLK, why not quote him on socialism or pacifism? Those parts are always read out of his legacy at least one day a year (sometime in January).

    And speaking of pacifism, why don’t we talk about how Lincoln got the nickname “Spotty Lincoln” for his opposition to the Mexican-American War?

  50. Shorter Troofy said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:25

    WAAAAAAAAH! Poop.

  51. Michael G. said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:26

    ALANIS MORRISSETTE GO AWAY RIGHT NOW.

    Shit. You have to nip that in the bud or she’ll keep coming back.

  52. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:28

    Hm, you know…Director of Diversity…seems like that would be the only position in a hospital that should be concerned in any way shape or form with making sure the staffing of the facility reflects the surrounding community.

    So ol’ Troofie here is mocking a woman for doing her job, apparently. And I’d bet the context of that “quote” will show that she meant precisely the opposite!

  53. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:29

    Durr I win a hundred infinity times because homina homina sploot!

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  54. PeeJ said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:29

    I am amazed at the predictive powers of some whingers. From freeperville:

    Well, here it is, what I’ve always dreaded. Look at this picture, America. We now have a Kenyan crackhead in charge of our nation and military. This is a nightmare come true.
    1 posted on Monday, January 19, 2009 9:04:37 AM by springtime4hillary

    The specificity of his vison is astounding – for how many years has he seen a Kenyan crackhead running the show, I wonder.

    Also, to troofie: suck on it, loser

  55. jim said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:30

    Both lawyers, both frighteningly intelligent, both incredible orators, both started their national political careers in Illinois, both chosen to lead their nation just when it started getting into curbstomping itself MUCH worse than usual (with deadly sincerity & menacing results) … yes, they’re TOTALLY unalike in every way.

    Blech.

    “Sanctity of life and sanctity of property are cut from the same cloth of eternal law”?

    Holy sizzling sharkshit – she must be sponsored by Confuse-A-Cat(TM)!

    Isn’t Parker one of those wacky primitive atavistic adherents of a sky-cop sect … one whose Messiah explicitly commanded his followers to “give away everything & follow me” (which would thus be buying her some serious sucks-to-be-me points, by the by, since she’d've effectively fingered her own god for heresy – & technically {thx 2 that Trinitarianism magickal 3-for-1 deal} punched herself a ticket on the Unforgivable No-no Guaranteed Hell-Express One-Way Redeye by virtue of her hubristic prattle being a sin against Teh Holy Spirit! D’Ohhhhh!) – or am I just tripping balls?

  56. Alanis Morissette said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:30

    Shit. You have to nip that in the bud or she’ll keep coming back.

    You oughta know.

  57. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:33

    If troofie intends to spend the next 8 years posting his Archie Bunker impression, he’d better improve his act.

    For instance, Carroll O’Connor was funny.

    Both Jack Lemon and Tony Randall were funny as the fastidious half of ‘Odd Couple’.

    Troofie is a lame-ass whiner, and the unctuousness adds nothing.

  58. PeeJ said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:34

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be talking about wringing sweat with a ShamWOW.

  59. Johnny Pez said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:36

    The specificity of his vison is astounding – for how many years has he seen a Kenyan crackhead running the show, I wonder.

    Pretty much his entire life, I’m guessing. The screen name was just a clever bit of misdirection. These freepers are a cunning lot.

  60. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:37

    ITTDGY- Nuh uh! Unlike you and racist Obama, me and my buddy Cornfed are not racist and are colorblind, and thus MLK would like us more and I win yay!

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  61. Michael G. said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:39

    DAMNIT. GET BACK INTO THE ‘90S.

  62. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:41

    Yeah! Look how awesome I am cuz OBama is a Teflon Frud! You liberls hate me and my free speech and colorblindness cause MLK would like me and Bob Owensand not obauma!

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  63. cowalker said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:44

    “Sanctity of life and sanctity of property are cut from the same cloth of eternal law.”

    I was at first inclined to jeer at this as unchristian, since Jesus as depicted in the New Testament didn’t emphasize the sanctity of property. He didn’t think much of a rich man’s chances of getting to heaven. But, I realized, neither did he advocate forcing the rich man to participate in some wealth distribution. He never said much about justice on earth at all. Sure, spare the adultress because none of you is without sin. But he never urged his followers to take action and get the law requiring execution of an adultress changed. Give all your stuff to the poor if you want to get to heaven, but don’t worry about Caesar taking some of your stuff and using it to pre-emptively kill Gauls. Tend to your personal piety, and let the world go to hell. Because Jesus obviously believed that the world would end within the lifetime of the people he preached to. Heck, Paul didn’t even condemn slavery.

    Jesus and Paul were all about God eventually dispensing the cruellest, most relentless punishment imaginable in one huge orgy of payback against earthly “sinners.” That was what they saw as mankind’s best hope for “justice.”

    That’s why it seems so stupid to me insist that the Bible is any help at all as a moral guide. At best, it’s irrelevant to the 21st century. At worst, it can be used to justify just about any public policy at all. In fact, it’s the extreme flexibility permitted in the derivation of “morals” from the Biblical narrative that has kept it alive. It was a very specific expression of a culture under foreign occupation, but it had great narratives. So the people of various times and places have reinterpreted those stories to suit their inclinations and needs. From a time when Christians believed lending money for interest was sinful, we have arrived at a situation where Bible thumpers call for public money to bail out the financial markets. It’s silly to pretend that the paint is shaping the house. You can make the paint fit any house you care to build.

  64. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:45

    If Lincoln were alive today, I’d recommend he get someone to fix that hole in his skull.

  65. PeeJ said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:47

    troofie is rather impressive in some ways. He’s perfected the art of FAIL in life and in trolling. Quite an achievement, I would say.

    Huh? What’s that you say? Oh. Nevermind.

  66. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:49

    I wonder why conservatives refuse to condemn the Massachusetts church burning? Sad, but not unexpected, and quite revealing, &c.

    And in other news, Tim Tebow wears Greg Hardy pajamas.

  67. LittlePig said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:50

    The tears of Neo-cons are so very, very sweet.

  68. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:51

    “What color is the applicant’s skin?” – Michelle Obama, Director of Diversity for UIC Hospital

    Is that from the Whitey Tape?

  69. PeeJ said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:51

    But, I realized, neither did he advocate forcing the rich man to participate in some wealth distribution.

    Was it JC who said don’t glean your fields – leave something for the poor? Or was that some other mythical mangodspiritthingy?

  70. Alanis Morissette said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:51

    DAMNIT. GET BACK INTO THE ‘90S.

    I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away.

  71. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:54

    YOu guyses are so jelous of how smart I am for pointing out about the Teflon Fraud all this time and how youll be upset with him when hes not a liberal like you even though hes a marxist and hates america and I wins!

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  72. PeeJ said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:54

    Ahhh. The intertoobz machine informs me that was, like, all over the OT. Job, Ruth, Leviticus. Nevermind.

  73. Loneoak said,

    January 19, 2009 at 19:57

    Umm, just a point of clarification: Both of those quotes are entirely made up, especially the Michelle Obama one.

  74. LittlePig said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:00

    Ahhh. The intertoobz machine informs me that was, like, all over the OT. Job, Ruth, Leviticus. Nevermind.

    JC quoted a lot of stuff from the OT. You can usually tell what he quoted by seeing if the OT quote is a conservative talking point. If it is, JC probably didn’t quote it. Ain’t that a coincidence!

  75. FlipYrWhig said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:05

    FYI, the troll’s insistently-repeated Martin Luther King Jr. quotation is not a quotation at all.

  76. bayville said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:08

    Review of Star Parker Column: “Huh?!”

  77. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:08

    Nuh uh! Yes it is!@ I found it linked from Bob Owens who found it on Instapundit who found it on Malkins and who found it on Bob Owens, and its true that Im colorblind and your the raicists and MLK would ike me! Wheres DrDick why doesnt he respond to me no more he’s scared!

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  78. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:16

    So.

    Our little faux-racist troll, our empty shell which regurgitates hate and filth on cue, has now decided that no, really, it is the bastion of racial equality and justice, the thing that will carry Martin Luther King Junior’s hopes and dreams for a new nation.

    Personally, I suspect it’s full of itself.

    And yes, Rusty, it is highly peculiar how it failed to notice that whole issue of the white people burning down a black church out of a misplaced attempt at revenge on Barack Obama. I can’t possibly think of a reason why, in its quest for colorblindness, of seeing the content of a person’s character, not the color of their skin, it can’t see that a band of white folk attempted to burn down God’s house because they can’t stand the color of those who come and pray within it.

    I’m sure though, that as soon as a minority drops a lit cigarette on a Christian Identity church’s front lawn, it’ll scream and cry about how we leftists are racists and anti-white.

    Because that’s what it does.

  79. J— said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:18

    “What color is the applicant’s skin?”

    Source?

  80. christian h. said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:24

    Shorter LA Times: Those leftists and black people should protest against black criminals and leave trigger-happy cops alone.

  81. rob said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:24

    also, Lincoln freed the slaves. how many slaves has obama freed? plus, lincoln liked to wear a hat.

    see, they’re totally different

  82. Jennifer said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:25

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be talking about wringing sweat with a ShamWOW.

    If Lincoln were alive today, I’d recommend he get someone to fix that hole in his skull.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be desperately clawing at the inside lid of his coffin.

  83. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:27

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be talking about wringing sweat with a ShamWOW.

    If Lincoln were alive today, I’d recommend he get someone to fix that hole in his skull.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be desperately clawing at the inside lid of his coffin.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be really fucking old.

  84. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:30

    Barry shoots, he scores!

  85. Jennifer said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:36

    OT, but most of you guys will really appreciate this.

    Just go. Look. You know I’d never link to anything that sucks.

  86. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:49

    Jennifer said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:36

    OT, but most of you guys will really appreciate this.

    Just go. Look. You know I’d never link to anything that sucks.

    Lolz!

    But are you claiming you’ve never linked to JokeLine before?
    ~

  87. Arky4That1 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:55

    An African-American woman is singing Lincoln’s praises and trashing the nasty liberal African-American president.

    Yep. I hear Southern fReichtard heads assplodin’.

  88. PeeJ said,

    January 19, 2009 at 20:56

    I’m sure I once saw you link to (Bruce) Daniel Blatt. So there’s that.

  89. justme said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:00

    all over the OT. Job, Ruth, Leviticus. Nevermind.

    I didn’t know Kurt Cobain was in the Bible.

  90. Loneoak said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:01

    And yes, Rusty, it is highly peculiar how it failed to notice that whole issue of the white people burning down a black church out of a misplaced attempt at revenge on Barack Obama.

    Maybe the attack is more or less invisible to them because they were expecting an attack on a mosque?

  91. kg said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:03

    so let me get this straight. the shamWOW is mentioned in the OT?

    Damn, the things you learn on the intertele.

  92. PeeJ said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:03

    I didn’t know Kurt Cobain was in the Bible.
    Can some please explain that for me? I’m largely “illiterate” w.r.t. pop culture.

  93. cowalker said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:05

    JC told parables that showed great empathy and respect for the poor. He urged his followers to give all that they had to the poor and to live as frugally as possible.

    But he didn’t show any interest in making a moral connection between personal responsibility and one’s responsibility for institutions that act in one’s name. Yes, you can rightly argue that he lived in a patriarchal culture under Roman occupation. I don’t criticize him for dispensing guidance that applied to his personal, very limited, milieu. I just don’t think there’s anything about it that shows a vision beyond that milieu. The personal morality he advocated, if practiced, would have improved daily life in that situation. It still works to live by the injunction to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, although that principle is not unique to Christianity.

    So should you continue to pay your taxes when your government invades a country pre-emptively? Should you design a tax structure so people who can’t earn what health care costs can get some of it? Should the government intervene when corporations take actions that hurt public health or damage the environment? Should we allow women to abort unwanted pregnancies? Apply Biblical morality and you can justify a million different responses, because Jesus didn’t address questions of social, economic or political justice. Why drag the Bible in at all? It’s like using a filter that doesn’t filter anything. Duelling scripture quotes. It’s why there are lots and lots of Christian denominations.

    That’s why the wingnut Christians are impervious to Bible cites that we believe constitute a challenge to their dedication to protecting private property, their enthusiasm for executing criminals, their appetite for war and torture and their pious dedication to patrolling the reproductive organs of strangers. Jesus didn’t tell them not to.

  94. PeeJ said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:06

    so let me get this straight. the shamWOW is mentioned in the OT?

    Not directly but Chuck Heston was seen carrying one just before all that water mysteriously went away.

  95. J— said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:10

    I didn’t know Kurt Cobain was in the Bible.
    Can some please explain that for me? I’m largely “illiterate” w.r.t. pop culture.

    A baptism of sorts.

  96. Jennifer said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:11

    Nevermind = breakthrough album release for Kurt Cobain’s band Nirvana.

    so let me get this straight. the shamWOW is mentioned in the OT?
    Don’t you remember the passage about how it’s a sin to wax your car with a cloth of mixed fibers rather than a sheepskin? And how anyone who does must be stoned to death?

  97. MzNicky said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:29

    Does that mean we get to stone that dreadful shamWOW guy to death? cuz coincidentally, every time I see his gremlin face on TV that’s what I want to do.

    Plus today is my birthday. Yes, that’s right!! MLK Day! Also Dolly Parton’s birthday! And tomorrow is PRESIDENT OBAMA Day!! Woo-hoo! I’ve been drinking the champagne left over from my aborted New Year’s Eve party since about oh Friday or so and plan to continue to do so until tomorrow shortly after noon.

  98. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:33

    aborted New Year’s Eve party

    High five! The Baby New Year with a coathanger attachment!

  99. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:38

    Happy Bird-Day, MzNicky!

  100. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:38

    Happy Birthday MzNicky!

  101. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:40

    Speaking of Bird-Day, I Hope™ the New Administration will address the Geestapo Menace.

  102. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 21:58

    Is that a threat, creep?

    Only to stomp a mudhole in your head the size of Crawford Texas!

  103. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:00

    -Anybody up for a gay pig sex orgy with me?

    These folks will gladly take up your offer.

  104. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:01

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be talking about wringing sweat with a ShamWOW.

    If Lincoln were alive today, I’d recommend he get someone to fix that hole in his skull.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be desperately clawing at the inside lid of his coffin.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be really fucking old.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d drive a Cadillac.

  105. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:05

    Is Star Parker her name or profession? Anyone know?

    And is she singing “We Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre The Werld”?

  106. a different brad said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:22

    So, off topic, any other sadlynaughts going to DC tomorry?
    All my friends are lazier stoners than I am, but that ain’t stoppin me.

  107. Johnny Pez said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:25

    Happy birthday, MsNicky!

    And see as how it’s also Sanctity of Life Day, have an abortion on the house!

  108. Jennifer said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:28

    Hippo birdie two ewes, MzNicky!

  109. Eric (an halibut) said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:28

    Twoof: Anybody up for a gay pig sex orgy with me?

    No, but I wouldn’t mind seeing you brutally raped by about a half-dozen enraged gay wild boars.

    And then eviscerated by their tusks.

    Oh, and fuck you.

  110. Jennifer said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:29

    LMAO, Eric!

    Remind me to sometime tell you the story of “dug up and half-eaten by wild hogs.”

  111. Eric (an halibut) said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:30

    And on a less psychotic note…happy birthday, MzNicky, and sorry I’ve been yelling at the troll.

  112. YADFH Rev 3.0 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:30

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be talking about wringing sweat with a ShamWOW.

    If Lincoln were alive today, I’d recommend he get someone to fix that hole in his skull.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be desperately clawing at the inside lid of his coffin.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be really fucking old.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d drive a Cadillac.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be 199 years old with half his brain gone. Doubt he’d be doing much of anything except filling his drool cup.

  113. bago said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:32

    I’ll park her dark star.

  114. bago said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:32

    Add in a close Jersey Accent tag and it makes sense.

  115. Eric (an halibut) said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:36

    If Lincoln were alive today, he could patiently watch hours and hours and hours of C-SPAN congressional coverage.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be quietly angry about Bruce Weber’s overall performance as basketball coach at Illinois.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he would make exact change during every retail transaction, then smile quietly when the clerk recognized the image on the pennies.

  116. chocolatepie said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:37

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be talking about wringing sweat with a ShamWOW.

    If Lincoln were alive today, I’d recommend he get someone to fix that hole in his skull.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be desperately clawing at the inside lid of his coffin.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be really fucking old.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d drive a Cadillac.

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d play forward for the Boston Celtics.

  117. Candy said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:43

    Now Noah is one OT cat who coulda used a ShamWOW!

    Happy B-day MzN! And many more!

    Glad you mentioned Dolly Parton’s b-day, because that means today is teh Partner’s mom’s b-day, as she told me they were born the same day. ‘course, the family used to be Jehovah’s Witnesses and as such never celebrated b-days, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t like to have it acknowledged by her son. I’ll remind him.Thanks!

    Star Parker is one of the most ignorant of the right wing women hatin’ women. I used to watch her on the View because when I lived in Washington I didn’t have cable and only got one channel clearly. (I think it was KIRO but I won’t swear to that.) Anyhow, I was really depressed and every day brought dense fog you couldn’t see through, so I would turn on the TV to keep me company. The show itself sucked, but Star was the main suck factor, in my opinion. Yelling at and mocking the stupid things she said did help to stir me out of my apathy. What a dolt she is.

  118. Smut Clyde said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:44

    Abraham Lincoln stepped up to the plate and took a stand.
    Is this one of those games where you a fantasy baseball team of dead US presidents?
    My fantasy rugby team of dead NZ Prime Ministers — let me show you it.
    Happy non-birthday to everyone who isn’t MzNicky.

  119. WereBear said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:48

    Happy Birthday to MzNicky.

    If Lincoln were alive today… he’d be stocking shelves at WalMart.

    Ain’t going nowhere without that sheepskin, buddy.

  120. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 22:49

    I’ll be watching the coronation from behind my mommy’s skirty fence.

    Fixed for accuracy, Troofie.

  121. tigrismus said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:01

    If Lincoln were alive today… he’d be stocking shelves at WalMart.

    Ain’t going nowhere without that sheepskin, buddy.

    That or found guilty of unauthorized practice of law.

  122. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:06

    Yeah, take that stoopid libs! Michelle Obama is racists, unlike me and Bob Owens and Glenn Reynolds, caus we are colorblind and MLK would think we are letting fredom ring, unlike teflon Obama who sucks! I wins the election cause people hate Obama now according to homina homina Gateway Pundit homina sploot! DrDick, pleas talk to mee!!!!!!!!!!!!eleven

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  123. Troofy's "Dumbest Troll In America" Speech said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:07

    Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

  124. Smut Clyde said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:09

    Sanctity of life and sanctity of property are cut from the same cloth of eternal law.
    Using the pinking shears of divine revelation, and stitched together with the sewing machine of institutional religion.
    If you’re going for the coordinated life / property ensemble, you’ll also want matching accessories, like the handbag of situational ethics.

  125. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:13

    I can just see the headlines:

    FIRST LADY CONFIRMED BLACK; PRESIDENT REMAINS UNDER SUSPICION

    Seriously, I really like the apoplectic denunciation of American icons from the people who spent the last eight years denouncing, debasing, and ignoring basic American civil rights and traditions with varying levels of volume. It’s kind of funny, you know? Because it’s all just them repeating the same shit over and over and over, trotting out a long procession of libels like an obsessive Holocaust denialist. Ebonics! Plagarism! Arugula! #24! #24!

    Big laffs from the Strict White Constructionist crowd, who are about as sound as Ford stock these days. And he’s just going to keep on diving into chain emails, shrieking and hollering with newfound joy over the newest facile lie, completely convinced that this one will convert the steadily-growing majority of Americans who think black people are human beings for sure.

    On the related topic, I don’t believe the comparison to Lincoln is appropriate either, but that’s mostly because Lincoln was an avatar of compassion and a relatively radical figure in his day, neither of which is obviously true of Obama. It’s nice enough to see someone from Illinois in office, and also nice for once to have someone in office who wouldn’t recant the Emancipation Proclamation in a hot minute if it became politically expedient, but Lincoln he ain’t.

    He’d at least need to abuse a horse first. And as Pravda demonstrates, that isn’t always a recipe for improvement.

  126. MzNicky said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:14

    Well, all this troll business is beyond me. Is the “Truth” thing using multiple fake names, and/or are regulars also using the “Truth” thing’s fake names to post faux-”Truth” rejoinders? And are some of the “Truth” thing’s comments being deleted, stripping all meaning from any subsequent responses to them? You know, it’s not nice to play tricks on an old lady who’s been drinking champagne for four days.

  127. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:17

    it’s not nice to play tricks on an old lady who’s been drinking champagne for four days.

    I believe the entire body of public esteem for Winston Churchill is built on the opposite assumption, madam.

  128. tigrismus said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:18

    Using the pinking shears of divine revelation, and stitched together with the sewing machine of institutional religion.
    If you’re going for the coordinated life / property ensemble, you’ll also want matching accessories, like the handbag of situational ethics.

    Were you in favor of the Serge?

  129. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:20

    Were you in favor of the Serge?

    Now, really. The gibes about the hilarious assassination, mental incapacity, and death of the President I can understand, but fabric puns? That’s just horrible.

  130. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:21

    Were you in favor of the Serge?

    Only because it got rid of the Muslin threat.

  131. Smut Clyde said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:22

    What Alec said. We are not that easily suede.

  132. MzNicky said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:23

    Oh Brother®, here we go, basting together all manner of crazy-quilt commentary with gossamer threads of punnery.

  133. hturT ehT said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:23

    .siht llac ot elba saw I lleh eht woh rednow eb lliw uoY .nwod og ot gniog si ti woh yltcaxe si siht sa ,slarebil ,siht kramkooB

    .no eb lliw tuokaerF larebiL taerG eht dna ycnediserp niaCcM a ot pu ekaw lliw uoY .deb ot og ot eb lliw uoy ot tniop siht ta ecivda yM

  134. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:23

    Hey boss, do you think we should look up Helen Suzman before pwning ourselves again?

    Which part of that post was inaccurate, chump?

    It’s even sourced! Unlike your slanders and lies and treasons, hyou maggoty mealymouthed mudskipper.

  135. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:24

    Truth = Pwned by Actor212

  136. Jacob Singer said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:24

    I really don’t cotton to all these puns.

  137. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:24

    Yeah! Im clearly not a whiney little crybaby cuz you librls are gonna install libral fashism in America just like they did over there and MLK would honor me and Bob Owens for my colorblundness!

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  138. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:25

    Of course Troofy would go out of his way to mock a dead Jewess for having a conscience. It’s like a dog licking its own balls, you know? It just sort of happens.

  139. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:28

    In 1989, shortly after giving up her seat, Helen Suzman was appointed an honorary DBE. She continued to lecture abroad and to play golf and bridge, but had no illusions about her importance after Mandela’s “rainbow coalition” took power. “Peripheral, dearie,” she once explained. “I am just an old bag — an old-age pensioner.”

    In 1997 she was appointed to the Order of Merit (Gold) South Africa.

    In 2004, a decade after the formation of the first ANC government, Helen Suzman was outspoken about the failings of Mandela’s successor, Thabo Mbeki, citing his support for Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe, his anti-white speeches and his failure to improve the lot of black citizens. The government made no response.

    Helen Suzman’s husband died in 1994.

    Hm, me no see where Suzman hide out in her fenced-in ranch, unlike some President I know.

    Lessee another source:

    After her retirement from parliament in 1989, she served on a variety of top public institutions, including the Independent Electoral Commission that oversaw the country’s first multiracial elections in 1994.

    She was at Mandela’s side when he signed the new constitution in 1996 as South Africa’s first black president. A year later, Mandela awarded her a special gold medal in honor of her contributions.

    “It is a courage born of the yearning for freedom; of hatred of oppression, injustice and inequity whether the victim be oneself or another; a fortitude that draws its strength from the conviction that no person can be free while others are unfree,” Mandela said at the time.

    Suzman had first visited Mandela in prison on Robben Island in 1967, when she heard his grievances about prison conditions.

    Hm. Seems she got even MORE involved in apartheid after she retired!

    Oh TROOOOOOOFIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  140. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:30

    Oh Brother®, here we go, basting together all manner of crazy-quilt commentary with gossamer threads of punnery.

    Eyelet a lot go by, Nicky, but this I could not.

  141. GHW Bush said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:30

    What Alec said. We are not that easily suede.

    Naugahyde, wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture.

  142. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:31

    So, my little pet, Troofie….where did you read that Suzman hid herself behind a fence and counted rands, and oh by the way, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH OBAMA???

  143. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:33

    So, my little pet, Troofie….where did you read that Suzman hid herself behind a fence and counted rands, and oh by the way, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH OBAMA???

    Because Thabo Mbeki. Doesn’t that just say enough by itself? Someone with a name like Thabo Mbeki can’t be anything but bad for a “civilized” country.

    Black black colored black Negroes black black “African-American” black black affirmative action black black black “people of color” niggers.

  144. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:34

    It has everthing to do with Obama because South Africa is in the same Libral Fashism that Obama will soon practice becaus he’s a Teflon empty suit and his wife is hates America.

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  145. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:35

    I just noticed that when you say it that way it sounds kind of like a chicken. “A-black black black black. AAwk! Black black black black.”

    Improves the Pravda Ablackalypse ‘09 experience immensely, lemme tell you.

  146. chocolatepie said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:36

    Anyone else remember that Tex Avery cartoon?

    Oh Troofie, oh Troofie, please tell me do,
    What makes me love you so?
    You’re not Rugged (in Montana), it’s true,
    But when I look at you, I just. . .

    vomit all over myself.

  147. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:36

    I used to watch her on the View because when I lived in Washington I didn’t have cable and only got one channel clearly. (I think it was KIRO but I won’t swear to that.) Anyhow, I was really depressed and every day brought dense fog you couldn’t see through, so I would turn on the TV to keep me company. The show itself sucked, but Star was the main suck factor, in my opinion.

    Was that Star Parker?

    I could’ve sworn it was Star Jones.

    Oh, hm. Apparently they’d both been on the View. Weird.

  148. Simba B said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:39

    Improves the Pravda Ablackalypse ‘09 experience immensely, lemme tell you.

    This calls for Greasemonkey.

  149. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:40

    If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be really fucking old.

    He would turn 200 in less than a month! That is pretty fucking old.

  150. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:41

    You know whats awesome! How, one day away from Obama becoming president, Im still posting screeds here on Teh Sadly, even after being discredited a bajillion times over! Its like I never learn! Tee heezle, badoodle-boo-yeah!

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  151. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:41

    Yes, this was posted before, but I absolutely love this story. I mean here I was, wealthy, liberal and clueless; how was I to know that political correctness, quotas, and official anti-white policies were so bad?

    Her criticism was, in fact, about the ANC’s tokenist and poverty-ignoring approach to government. It’s kind of like citing Malcolm X to prove that King was a no-good jig-a-black.

    Only she’s a Jew, so it’s double liberal fascism.

  152. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:42

    You will doubtless find better, but…

  153. Simba B said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:43

    Didn’t someone post here about how the ANC sold out to the World Bank and IMF and friends, and maybe that had something to do with the things they did that Suzman disliked?

  154. A Troofy Tribute said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:43

    Nuh uh! I wons this argument once again!

    - A Troofy Tribute

    “Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.” – Troofy

  155. Candy said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:45

    Was that Star Parker?

    I could’ve sworn it was Star Jones.

    Oh, hm. Apparently they’d both been on the View. Weird.

    Gah! It was indeed Star Jones on Teh Spew at that time. But yeah, they’ve both done Spew ‘Star’ turns.

    star turn – git it? git it? I know this joke is a bit frayed around the edges, but isn’t that the warp and woof of punnery?

  156. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:45

    He would turn 200 in less than a month! That is pretty fucking old.

    Well, it could be worse.

    I mean, there’s still people celebrating George Washington’s birthday. I suspect. Beyond the people using it as an excuse for shopping sales.

    Now that guy, that guy’s old.

  157. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:45

    Didn’t someone post here about how the ANC sold out to the World Bank and IMF and friends, and maybe that had something to do with the things they did that Suzman disliked?

    Yeah, but it couldn’t possibly be that. After all, blacks.

  158. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:47

    Didn’t someone post here about how the ANC sold out to the World Bank and IMF and friends, and maybe that had something to do with the things they did that Suzman disliked?

    Yes, but that’s complicated and inconsiderate of capitalism’s feelings.

    So it has to insist that Suzman’s complaints with that government have to do with its hatred for black people instead. Because that’s all it understands.

  159. alec said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:48

    star turn – git it? git it? I know this joke is a bit frayed around the edges, but isn’t that the warp and woof of punnery?

    I find your grand search after star puns to be unsettling. It’s like you have to dig around all over the place to find them, and it’s really obvious. Like the Boers or the Mormon Pioneers or something. A big fancy effort to track down any star innuendo. After a while, it starts getting onto the fast track to annoyance.

    You know, a star quest.

  160. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:49

    Sad but predictable &c. how conservatives tacitly approve of whites burning black churches right here in America out of Obama-hatred.

  161. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:51

    Oh Troofie…why do you lie so?

    You left this little gem out. It’s only the next fucking sentence after your out of context (which we all presumed) quote:

    But the claws on her “pretty little pink hands” had drawn blood, and they were never retracted.

    Note: NEVER. RETRACTED.

    A fighter to the end, chump.

    You pwned! Buhbye!

  162. actor212 said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:51

    Troofie’s like the ShamWOW of stoopid.

  163. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 19, 2009 at 23:59

    Conservatives should research Benjamin Haskell, Michael Jacques, and Thomas Gleason.

    Sadly, they won’t…

  164. Sir Heh Indeedington said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:01

    Mercy, Truth. Obama’s inauguration- an event you made a complete joke of yourself saying would never ever ever ever happen- is tomorrow, and this is your final appeal? These are your big guns? This is your ace in the hole?

    Just leave, dingus. Leave and never come back. For YOUR sake.

  165. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:01

    Hmm, I don’t see anywhere in all these desperate, hand-waving responses to my simple statement any refutation of the fact that the South African government instituted official anti-white policies.

    Because you believe being deprived of the exclusive franchise is a hate crime, you warped little man, and responding to any allegation you make about ‘anti-white policies’ would be uncharitably violent.

  166. Candy said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:02

    You know, a star quest.

    If you sued someone over that pun, would the Supreme Court eventually have to look at it de nova?

    Okay, I’ll stop now.

  167. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:05

    Hmm, I don’t see anywhere in all these desperate, hand-waving responses to my simple statement any refutation of the fact that the South African government instituted official anti-white policies.

    Oh HORRORS!

    Human beings exacting revenge! Alert the fucking media!

    And riddle me this, Batass…what the fuck does this have to do with America and Barack Obama???

    Oh wait, I get it now! You were a cracker bohunk American who moved to SA in the 60s only to have your little plantation forcibly extracted by the ANC!

    So you’re a two time racist bigot with delusions of godhood!

  168. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:05

    Hey, why no love for me? I used to be the bread basket of Africa; now, 80% of my population lives in poverty!

    Oh yes: four decades of personal rule by a cod-Marxist dictator, the rapture of most of the country’s wealth, and Cold War politics turning the country into a battleground unlike any other, and obviously the reason the economy is in bad shape is because Mugabe took land from white people.

    White privilege isn’t some kind of magical talisman, you fucking idiot. “The breadbasket of Africa” is an especially interesting way of putting the way South Rhodesia looked after the fifteen-year virtual dictatorship of Ian Smith, and by ‘especially interesting’ I mean ‘hilariously uninformed’. I think the average child on the street would have a more educated opinion on the history of Zimbabwe than you, and after eight years of Bush that’s saying something.

    Keep on trucking, you fucking moron.

  169. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:06

    If you sued someone over that pun, would the Supreme Court eventually have to look at it de nova?

    I don’t think it would be that big a deal. They’d probably look at de Vega or maybe de Pinto.

  170. tigrismus said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:09

    If you sued someone over that pun, would the Supreme Court eventually have to look at it de nova?

    I hope it proceeds to the Star Chamber.

  171. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:10

    Black black black black black aa-black black black black black! Cock-a-doodle-Jew! Black black black.

    Bookmark this, libs.

  172. MzNicky said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:11

    It’s going to be nearly impossible to selvage anything from this.

  173. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:12

    Curious how conservatives are silent about conservative Hal Turner’s threats against the Obama inauguration.

    http://www.splcenter.org/blog/2009/01/18/threats-against-obama-growing-as-inauguration-nears/

    Conservatives should be shouting denunciation of Turner from the rooftops, but they are strangely silent. Could this be because they approve of Turner’s threats of mass murder of Obama supporters? It is hard to draw a different conclusion.

    Sad, predictable, revealing, &c. and so forth

  174. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:16

    Zimbabwe maintained positive economic growth throughout the 1980s (5.0% GDP growth per year) and 1990s (4.3% GDP growth per year).

    Under Mugabe, and in fact during the period of the most active “anti-White policies”.

    Did you just ignore that part because you like to drool over the thought of blacks suffering for how intolerably they persecute you by existing?

    Black black black black.

  175. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:17

    Swing and a miss, Truthy – Mugabe took over Zimbabwe on St. Ronald Reagan’s watch. I’m sure Reagan would have done something if he hadn’t been busy selling arms to terrorists.

    Oops…

  176. Smut Clyde said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:17

    You people have gone star-craving mad.

  177. SomeNYGuy said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:17

    I agrre with Troofie — we shouldn’t elect Mugabe as President of the United States.

    There, that settles that.

  178. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:18

    Well, y’know the nice thing about its tunnel-visioned focus this week is that I just had to killfile ‘Helen Suzman’ rather than deal with it blabbering through the thousand hydra about its feigned horror about a black person becoming a world leader like the past couple weeks.

    However, I will provide a refutation of its stupid attempt.

    Barack Obama is, in fact, just as educated, if not more so, than dozens of our previous white men in suits, and will proceed to run this country exactly like how every other President has run this country.

    To sum up, fuck off and die, troll.

  179. Legalize said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:20

    Twoofie, have you spent any time in South Africa? I have. Care to discuss any of the alleged “antiwhite” policies passed in that country, you know, post-apartheid, dipshit? Care to explain how the “antiwhite policies” of South Africa have permitted income inequality among whites and black to GROW in favor of whites since 1996?

  180. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:21

    I agrre with Troofie — we shouldn’t elect Mugabe as President of the United States.

    Which we clearly are – after all, Mugabe, born of a Luo father and an English mother, raised in Hawaii and Chicago, and eventually rising to the noted Affirmative Action sinecure post at the head of the Harvard Law Review before being elected President by a majority of the vote in a free and fair election, after which he lay in stealth for the 20+ years to which American presidents are typically elected before launching a whirlwind series of anti-white policies culminating in the seizure of large farms, ostensibly race-neutral but because God gave white people the exclusive ability to own land an obvious imposition on the natural order.

    Bookmark this, libs.

  181. Ken Lowery said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:24

    I am trying in vain to figure out exactly what Troofie is trying to prove.

  182. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:25

    Reagan really shouldn’t have allowed Mugabe to take over Zimbabwe. I guess he had his hands full denying the AIDS crisis in America at the time.

  183. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:25

    Ah, don’t pout, Legalize. Do tell me what has happened to (say) the crime rate and the AIDS rate since 1996. Can’t wait!

    What with Thabo Mbeki devoting himself wholeheartedly to the problems facing black people instead of offering sweet-tasting panacea with no actual value, to Sulzman’s horror they’ve plummeted.

    You’re basically mad at Obama because his inauguration isn’t gonna involve the Nation of Islam seizing your house and putting you in Louis Farrakhan’s harem, right? Seriously, you just gotta tell me, I know a couple brothers.

  184. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:25

    Poor Troofie.

    As I said, the ShamWOW of stoopid. He just sops up any stoopid argument and squeezes it for any possible relevance he can get.

    Hey, Troofie? I bet if you try reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally hard, you can prove Vlad the Impaler was, you know, A NEGRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  185. dim-witted badger said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:27

    happy bird day mz n.

    as long as they aren’t pelicans.

  186. PeeJ said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:27

    I just have to share this too too precious freeper post.

    Just ask a libtard for his “vision” for America and it’s all negative: no more discrimination, no more poverty, no more war, etc. Never anything positive. They hate the status quo, but have nothing to replace it with.

    The whole thing is a hoot. I can believe it isn’t a parody only because of the source. The entire piece is hysterical (in all senses of that word).

    Tomorrow may be the best day of my life. Depends on how may whingheads assplode.

  187. tigrismus said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:27

    You’re basically mad at Obama because his inauguration isn’t gonna involve the Nation of Islam seizing your house and putting you in Louis Farrakhan’s harem, right?

    I WANT MY VOTE BACK DAMMIT!

  188. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:27

    As you can see, it doesn’t care. Refutation provided, it just moves on to the next fetid load of shit it decides to throw at the wall.

    I know you don’t care about how wrong you’re proven to be time after time, because you never believed any of that shit to begin with. So frankly, you provide nothing to this website, you barely exist as anything more complicated than a bot programmed to provide a list of talking points, and worst of all, you’re dull.

    So fuck and die.

  189. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:28

    fuck OFF and die, rather.

    It figures I’d mess up the crux of my case. That’s why I didn’t make it into pre-law.

  190. Matt T. said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:29

    Well, personally, I’m hearted to see the troll’s picked up another data point to flail about in some drunken burlesque of “an intellectual argument”. The bookstore owner in North Carolina was gettin’ kind of pathetic. That brings the total up to, what, four?

  191. tigrismus said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:32

    Just ask a libtard for his “vision” for America and it’s all negative: no more discrimination, no more poverty, no more war, etc. Never anything positive. They hate the status quo, but have nothing to replace it with.

    Oh, right, the rampant gay sex parties, box turtle marriages, and mandatory abortions are not a positive enough vision?! What fucking DOWNERS those jamokes are!

  192. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:32

    I don’t know about you guys, but I’m grateful for today’s history lesson. I never knew Ronald Reagan hated black people so much. Facts don’t lie, though.

  193. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:32

    Well, personally, I’m hearted to see the troll’s picked up another data point to flail about in some drunken burlesque of “an intellectual argument”.

    I believe there is an argument at work here. Give me a few minutes and I’ll illustrate it for you.

  194. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:32

    Just ask a libtard for his “vision” for America and it’s all negative: no more discrimination, no more poverty, no more war, etc. Never anything positive. They hate the status quo, but have nothing to replace it with.

    Right, because equality, liberty and peace are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tyrannical!

  195. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:33

    I am trying in vain to figure out exactly what Troofie is trying to prove.

    That the only difference between SA and USA after Obama’s takes office is U.

  196. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:34

    Sheesh. Take a week’s vacation and typing just goes all to pot, don’t it?

  197. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:36

    The entire piece is hysterical (in all senses of that word).

    It’s pretty great.

    Libtards use language empirically
    This was a phenomenon that I experienced first hand with my ex-wife and it took me a few years to understand it.

    [...]

    Libtards, on the other hand, use langauge as a lever on behavior. The goal is not to elicit or impart information, it is to get their interlocateur to behave in a certain way.

    I have no idea what’s going on here but interlocateur is a really cool word.

  198. Olexicon said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:36

    I have an idea let’s ship The Truth to Zimbabwe

  199. noen said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:37

    This is gingham out of control.

  200. Legalize said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:37

    “Ah, don’t pout, Legalize. Do tell me what has happened to (say) the crime rate and the AIDS rate since 1996. Can’t wait!”

    Might be because the criminal regime that enslaved the vast majority of the population was exposed leaving, you know – nothing. But at least the trains ran on time during your pal De Klerk’s day, right? Someone remind me how the health and safety of the French and Americans was at the time of their revolutions.

    Besides, you were telling us about the antiwhite measures taken by the SA government post-aparteid. Which ones would those be? Presumably something comparable to apartheid, right, fuckwit? To the extent that the white minority is horribly suffering at the hands of their dusky oppressors, yes?

    And you didn’t answer whether or not you’ve actually any experience IN South Africa.

  201. Jennifer said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:39

    And you didn’t answer whether or not you’ve actually any experience IN South Africa.

    No, but he thinks Charlize Theron is hot.

  202. Ken Lowery said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:46

    No, but he thinks Charlize Theron is hot.

    On this and nothing else, he is completely right.

  203. Smut Clyde said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:46

    it’s all negative: no more discrimination, no more poverty, no more war, etc.
    The liberal vision is insufficiently prescriptive. It leaves too much room for people to create their own future.

  204. Befouled Waters said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:47

    Hi… I’m a pool of befouled waters. I’d just like to point out that, incredibly mucky as I am, there’s a little fact that remains true despite what’s in the water. If people ever step into me, they don’t complain about the water… they complain about the muck. The next step is to ask where the muck comes from. And that’s who they blame. So if people see a pool which is full of absolute reeking garbage, they blame the original garbage man, not the pool within which they found the garbage.

    But do they then go on to think the garbage-man might have had a reason to dump there? Nope. Just like people never really convert after reading a Chick Tract unless they were already leaning towards that kind of fundamental Christianity in the first place. People just aren’t that easily moved from their assumptions, which is why elections now adays always focus on the tiny percentage of people in the middle who do occasionally “swing vote”.

    All of which is a fairly long way of pointing out that the only discreditting people like “The Truth” do is to their own side; on a liberal blog, no one’s likely to be waivering in their liberality. And if anyone outside steps into the pool of commentary here, the person they’ll blame for the filth is… The Truth again. After all, he puts it there daily. Hence why Barack Obama is going to be President tomorrow… America finally couldn’t ignore what they’d been stepping in any longer, because people like The Truth just kept shovelling it more and more into the water. They’d like to clean off their shoes now, please…

    The Truth, ladies and gentleman; Impotent. Incoherant. And self soiling. But being drained daily by reality.

  205. LittlePig said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:48

    I am trying in vain to figure out exactly what Troofie is trying to prove.

    “Because not all Black people are perfect, the white male privilege inherent in America at the time of it’s founding should not be rolled back”.

    Alternatively: “Affirmative action frightens me because I might have to get a job on my merits instead of just being a good ol’ boy”.

  206. LittlePig said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:50

    No, but he thinks Charlize Theron is hot.

    Even my blind uncle Wilbur can find a nut once in a while.

  207. PeeJ said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:57

    I have no idea what’s going on here but interlocateur is a really cool word.

    But only if used non-empirically.*

    *Obligatory star

  208. Smut Clyde said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:57

    In Soviet Union, blind nut finds squirrel!

  209. Rusty Shackleford said,

    January 20, 2009 at 0:58

    No, but he thinks Charlize Theron is hot.

    On this and nothing else, he is completely right.

    It is empirically true.

  210. MzNicky said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:00

    I am trying in vain to figure out exactly what Troofie is trying to prove.

    That his meaningless existence is small, pathetic, and more deserving of our sympathy than our scorn?

  211. PeeJ said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:02

    I’ve been trying to come up with a chnitzy fabric joke but all my efforts are lamé.

  212. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:03

    Sneek prevoo:

    FALSE ENVY INFOBOX – OR:
    WHY DON’T WHITE PEOPLE HAVE IT??

    BECAUSE SLAVERY DIDN’T REALLY WORK THE OTHER WAY AROUND
    BECAUSE EVERY OTHER MONTH BASICALLY IS BY DEFAULT
    THEY’RE CALLED VH1, EACH MTV, CMT, SPIKE, AND LIFETIME
    THERE IS ONE AND IT’S RUN BY DAVID DUKE, HAPPY NOW?

  213. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:03

    ‘Hope’ You Like Your Horrible Hatched Devil Jesus President, Sheeple!

  214. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:05

    January 20, 2009 at 1:00

    I am trying in vain to figure out exactly what Troofie is trying to prove.

    That his meaningless existence is small, pathetic, and more deserving of our sympathy than our scorn?

    It’s just a scroll-troll. I fully support banning it.

  215. Galactic Dustbin said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:06

    what happened to “dont feed the troll?”

  216. PeeJ said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:08

    I had hoped to make a lasting impression but I need a better education. I’ll go to Oxford. I shall not terry.

  217. tigrismus said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:12

    Libtards, on the other hand, use langauge as a lever on behavior. The goal is not to elicit or impart information, it is to get their interlocateur to behave in a certain way.

    Interlocateur? Tu veux que j’utilise ma langue pour lever ta conduite.

  218. Lancelot Link said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:21

    I am trying in vain to figure out exactly what Troofie is trying to prove

    He is trying to prove that there is some significance to his worthless life because all these people are talking about him online.

    The more people argue with a troll, the more that troll “wins”.

  219. Smut Clyde said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:22

    Tigrismus wins the Inaugural Nabakov Cup for polyglot indecency.

  220. WereBear said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:23

    Just ask a libtard for his “vision” for America and it’s all negative: no more discrimination, no more poverty, no more war, etc. Never anything positive. They hate the status quo, but have nothing to replace it with.

    Ah damn, he’s right!

    If we create a vacuum of no prejudice, no pointless mayhem, and no meaningless suffering and wasted potential, what, oh what, will replace it?

  221. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:29

    Tigrismus wins the Inaugural Nabakov Cup for polyglot indecency.

    I get the feeling I’ve not truly plumbed the depths of “conservative”.

  222. handy said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:35

    Just ask a libtard for his “vision” for America and it’s all negative: no more discrimination, no more poverty, no more war, etc. Never anything positive. They hate the status quo, but have nothing to replace it with.

    Waitaseccc….Isn’t this the same crowd that’s always preaching about limited government or somesuch, how the best society is one where less government is more? Essentially, the ideal is the negative, or at least the bare minimum?

  223. g said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:41

    No, but he thinks Charlize Theron is hot.

    I got news for him about what she thinks of him.

  224. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:43

    So what is everyone doing tomorrow? Our hosts haven’t seen fit to give us a thread to discuss this.

    Sleeping in, like every other day.

  225. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:47

    So what is everyone doing tomorrow?

    Surrendering my ballistic missiles to the local Black Panther representative.

  226. LittlePig said,

    January 20, 2009 at 1:55

    So what is everyone doing tomorrow?

    In compliance with the White Registration Act, I’ll be getting a barcode tattooed on my forehead (the new “whitey-idee”)

  227. Smut Clyde said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:04

    I recommend Ketchum Manufacturing for all my pig-tattooing requirements.

  228. Smut Clyde said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:11

    I’ll be getting a barcode tattooed on my forehead
    Will it look like this?

  229. fry1laurie said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:13

    Lincoln was an old-time Henry Clay Whig. Henry Clay’s big policy proposal was the “American Plan,” to fund “internal improvements” (infrastructure) to get trade and commerce to the Western and Southern parts of the United States. That would mean taking on some public debt. Not much of the so-called small government conservative in Lincoln, I’m afraid.

  230. tigrismus said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:28

    the Inaugural Nabakov Cup for polyglot indecency

    I wonder why I was reminded of this?

  231. papa zita said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:42

    Star is just rats spelled backward. Let’s get the hell out of here.

  232. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:42

    Lincoln was an old-time Henry Clay Whig. Henry Clay’s big policy proposal was the “American Plan,” to fund “internal improvements” (infrastructure) to get trade and commerce to the Western and Southern parts of the United States. That would mean taking on some public debt. Not much of the so-called small government conservative in Lincoln, I’m afraid.

    You’re pretty much right, although I’d dispute that what Whiggism meant in Clay’s time and place is the same thing it meant to Lincoln. (His vehement demands in the legislature that the government account for the spot on which American troops had been attacked on American soil – the pretext to the Mexican-American War, which was kind of like Iraq in that it was a pretty transparent domestic power-grab and only particularly opposed by a small and socially uninfluential faction, in that case the northern and western Whigs – lead an opponent to caution him to shut up lest he die of spotted fever. I’d suggest he was an ancestor of Bill O’Reilly, but at the time Bill O’Reilly’s ancestors were having their backs broken by the noble capitalist supermen he currently bats for.)

    In particular, Lincoln’s support of commerce was regarded by the Southern elite (but not by the whole Southern electorate, which was generally united on slavery being OK but whose relative left regarded emancipation as a source of unfair competition) as close to treasonable, because they and most of the US economy to that time had been built on trade – which sounds like commerce, but isn’t quite the same thing.

    Commerce is internal trade, basically – something the Whigs and early Republicans were big on, along with a generally paternalist ideology. (This is why, as Adam Cadre points out, in states dominated by Whiggish ideology like Massachusetts, high minimum wages and labor protection coexisted with few limits on work-hours and robust blue laws.) As American industry expanded to the point that the businesses grown rich on commerce no longer particularly profited from it – this is attributable in part, one of the big ironies of the GOP what with its singular opposition to WWII and its founding father being his day and age’s equivalent of Michael Moore, to the burgeoning military-industrial complex – the paternal aspect of the Whig character became the solitary inheritance of the new GOP from the old.

    The slow, miserable death of the racist/nativist wing of the Democratic Party, alongside the steady infiltration of the Republicans by Straussians and other neocon-men, resulted in the social paternalism that drove early welfare programs becoming interdit – leaving a socially liberal / economically paternal party on one wing and socially paternal / economically glibertarian party on the other.

    Except where one ideology or the other (Paul on the economics, Huckabee on the social paternalism) so strongly interferes with the other it becomes noteworthy, the Republicans had become for some time a basically fascist party – slugging for big business and against individual liberties. The failure of the marriage between megachurch hucksterism and Club for Growth hucksterism means that the last aspect of the northern Whigs to survive into the present is well and truly dead.

    Beyond their personal behavior and historical circumstances, Lincoln’s Republicans would fit in relatively well in the modern Democratic Party.

  233. Snorghagen said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:49

    what happened to “dont feed the troll?”

    Damn good question.

  234. Johnny Pez said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:51

    So what is everyone doing tomorrow?

    Expropriating farms from white people, natch. What else?

  235. atheist said,

    January 20, 2009 at 2:55

    Not much of the so-called small government conservative in Lincoln, I’m afraid.

    Ah, the fabled small government conservative. There’s not many of them anywhere, I think.

    (Alec just kicked my ass into next week with that last comment. Bravo!)

  236. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 20, 2009 at 3:11

    Reeeeeeeagan.

  237. Bookmark This, Liberals said,

    January 20, 2009 at 3:12

    Let’s all pledge to serve Obama, without question.

    Boring troll is boring.

  238. Smut Clyde said,

    January 20, 2009 at 3:27

    I wonder why I was reminded of this?
    I can only surmise that it is because you are morally and aesthetically depraved.
    Sir Egbert fastened shut the door, and started up the machinery inside the sofa..

    Edward Gorey and the Tiger Lillies bring you GIN.

  239. MzNicky said,

    January 20, 2009 at 3:35

    what happened to “dont feed the troll?”

    Galactic Dustbin: No one ever listens to me. Take my kids, for example. Please! (rimshot)

  240. MzNicky said,

    January 20, 2009 at 3:44

    So what is everyone doing tomorrow?

    If I have any champagne left, I’ll be toasting the Obama presidency at noon, followed by a three-hour nap.

  241. Bookmark This, Liberals said,

    January 20, 2009 at 3:47

    what happened to “dont feed the troll?

    Some believe in the Mr. Creosote rule.

    Wafer, Troofie?

  242. Mike in Teh Heartl...er,..Shoulderland said,

    January 20, 2009 at 3:58

    In the view of many, including me, it’s this law that defines our free country.
    – Star Parker

    Sooooo…. she’ll be cheering on the prosecutions of the Busheviks (& Pelosi, Rockefeller, et al?) for war crimes, illegal wiretapping,etc, or demanding Obama’s impeachment if he fails to prosecute? ;)

  243. Sporkey said,

    January 20, 2009 at 3:59

    I am trying in vain to figure out exactly what Troofie is trying to prove.

    I pretty much just killfiled him, and now he says “POOP!”, which would really be the point of any of his posts.

    Oh, and there wasn’t enough poop jokes here, which adds an amusement factor of +3 to the comments when a non-troll says it.

  244. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 4:23

    Gentlemen, Alec explains it all.

    And now you know.

  245. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    January 20, 2009 at 4:36

    It’s like staring into the hall of mirrors it mistakes for a mind, alec.

  246. honus said,

    January 20, 2009 at 5:20

    sanctity of property carved from eternal law? Has she ever read what Jesus Christ said about property? (And paying taxes, BTW)

  247. atheist said,

    January 20, 2009 at 5:32

    Alec, that fuckin’ rocked. And now I know, indeed.

  248. Bina said,

    January 20, 2009 at 5:54

    Didn’t someone post here about how the ANC sold out to the World Bank and IMF and friends, and maybe that had something to do with the things they did that Suzman disliked?

    Yes, that would be me, myself and I. Thanks for remembering. Too bad you’re Simba B and not “The Truth”.

    (How I wish my pwn-y lessons would stick in the head of the target they were catapulted at…sigh.)

  249. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 6:00

    The targets tend not to get the point, but I tend to find a good ass-beating is its own reward.

  250. mmeetoilenoir said,

    January 20, 2009 at 6:02

    May I ask one favor? Can people please, please, please not make comments that state that college degree-less life is a quick trip to stocking Wal-Mart shelves and the like? It’s not true in many cases. I can vouch for that many times over. A degree doesn’t mean that you’re brilliant, destined for a good job, or protected from failure.

    /eternal lurker out…

  251. Bina said,

    January 20, 2009 at 6:04

    The targets tend not to get the point, but I tend to find a good ass-beating is its own reward.

    True, true…

    BTW, apropos a good ass-beating, here’s one for ya…

    Shorter Twoofy: NiggerNIGGERniggerNIGGERniggerNIGGERniggerNIGGER…

  252. atheist said,

    January 20, 2009 at 6:33

    Can people please, please, please not make comments that state that college degree-less life is a quick trip to stocking Wal-Mart shelves and the like? It’s not true in many cases. I can vouch for that many times over. A degree doesn’t mean that you’re brilliant, destined for a good job, or protected from failure.

    I can also vouch for the fact that both sides are false.

    It is actually my hope that people get more cynical toward college degrees and what they do. If that happened, it would take a lot of people out of college who don’t really want to be there.

  253. henry lewis said,

    January 20, 2009 at 6:52

    many
    happy
    returns
    MzNicky

  254. ckc (not kc) said,

    January 20, 2009 at 6:58

    It is actually my hope that people get more cynical toward college degrees and what they do. If that happened, it would take a lot of people out of college who don’t really want to be there.

    …can..opened…….worms..everywhere!!!

  255. comsympinko said,

    January 20, 2009 at 7:56

    Abraham Lincoln, Straw Man Like All The Rest…

    Abraham Lincoln, July 1858, Chicago Illinois:

    Let us discard all this quibbling about this man and the other man, this race and that race and the other race being inferior, and therefore they must be placed in an inferior position. Let us discard all these things, and unite as one people throughout this land, until we shall once more stand up declaring that all men are equal.

    Abraham Lincoln, September 1858, Charleston Illinois:

    I will say, then, that I am not, nor have ever been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races (applause from audience); that I am not, nor have ever been, in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people…

    And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of the superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.

    A People’s History Of The United States, Howard Zinn, 2003 p. 188.

    They’re all monsters. Get over Prince Barry. He’s going to fuck the liberal movement worse than Clinton. It sucks, but it’s true. Escalation in Afghanistan? Nuclear power? Clean coal? Hillary Fucking Shark Sandpaper Clinton as Secretary of State?

    I would truly regret my vote if the alternative weren’t so abhorrent. I really hope that I’m wrong. I want Obama to succeed in doing for us what we need done. I have no confidence in his will to do so.

  256. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 8:12

    Man, first, writing off nuclear power is stupid. We need a low-fluctuation power standby, which means that you either swallow the coal industry’s horseshit (which, sadly, Obama has demonstrated a tendency to do) or you start rebuilding the nation’s nuclear infrastructure.

    And second, you’re being horrifically unfair to Lincoln. A, he lived in a day and age when the consensus among scientists was that blacks were basically a lower form of human being, and B, he was, like pretty much everyone in politics pre-Hearst, willing to say or do anything to any given audience for political points. You could probably catch Davis aspousing abolitionism if you looked at the right place and time.

  257. comsympinko said,

    January 20, 2009 at 8:37

    “Man, first, writing off nuclear power is stupid. We need a low-fluctuation power standby, which means that you either swallow the coal industry’s horseshit (which, sadly, Obama has demonstrated a tendency to do) or you start rebuilding the nation’s nuclear infrastructure.”

    First and foremost, I mentioned clean coal as bullshit before I even got to the abomination of nuclear power.

    Extensive desert solar, terrestrial and maritime wind farms and giant tidal stations are safer, easier to construct and maintain and pose no risk of nuclear waste or meltdown.

    Nuclear power is the tool the US Air Force uses to maintain its nuclear arsenal.

  258. comsympinko said,

    January 20, 2009 at 8:40

    Whoops, didn’t mention clean coal first in this post. That’s in the post up above.

    Nuclear power and clean coal are equally bullshit. But so is this excuse.

  259. alec said,

    January 20, 2009 at 9:58

    Extensive desert solar, terrestrial and maritime wind farms and giant tidal stations are safer, easier to construct and maintain and pose no risk of nuclear waste or meltdown.

    All of them have one of the critical problems with most sustainable power systems: very specific terrain requirements, fluctuating yields, and difficulty with high and low yields.

    There needs to be a power source in every system as a baseline ensurer which will reliably produce X amount of power when Y dollars of resources are thrown into it, and out of everything we’ve got our hands on (maybe excepting geothermal power, which can be remarkably flimsy and dirty itself), nuclear fuels are the abundant and least overall expensive (including, not excluding as fossil-backed sources like to, the fairly extreme and ever-increasing externalities costs of extraction, manufacture, and production).

    Both nuclear waste and utility for maintaining the US’s ridiculous nuclear stockpile are features not intrinsic to the form of power – the US is pretty much alone among industrialized countries with significant nuclear production in using systems waste-inefficient enough to make something like Yucca Mountain an issue, and that is precisely because the nuclear lobby comprises more or less exclusively military-industrial savages.

    And meltdown is essentially a non-issue if plants are run and made correctly.

    Again, the question is mainly not whether it’s an ideal form of power – it’s not, and it consumes a fuel available in limited if reasonably abundant supply – but in terms of generating a baseline level of power (the absence of which usually produces one or both of regular brownouts or extortionate power rates) it or something else is going to be absolutely necessary, and wouldn’t you know it – there’s a specific fuel whose lobbyists have had a field day working their filthy hands into the pants of a party terrified of its singular inability to buy Appalachia.

  260. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 16:15

    Tigrismus wins the Inaugural Nabakov Cup for polyglot indecency.

    Yes, but can she summarize Proust in fifteen seconds?

  261. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 16:19

    There needs to be a power source in every system as a baseline ensurer which will reliably produce X amount of power when Y dollars of resources are thrown into it, and out of everything we’ve got our hands on (maybe excepting geothermal power, which can be remarkably flimsy and dirty itself), nuclear fuels are the abundant and least overall expensive (including, not excluding as fossil-backed sources like to, the fairly extreme and ever-increasing externalities costs of extraction, manufacture, and production).

    Um, hm. Not necessarily.

    Geothermal, for example, would be more abundant (you really only need two hundred feet or so of separation between the pipes, and even that can be built upon in between), sustainable and generate baseline power, albeit on a far more local level for distribution.

    And frankly? I’d rather see a distributed power generating system that avoids the August 2003 regional blackouts in favor of the occasional 20 mile radius brownout as the grid shuffles the local load.

    I say that as someone who supports nuclear power, I might add, as a stopgap until we can bring online as many sustainable sources as possible.

  262. actor212 said,

    January 20, 2009 at 16:21

    Oh. That’s what I get for not reading your parentheses, alec. You mention GT, but I’m not sure I agree with your characterizations of it being “flimsy and dirty”.

    It’s most used in the northwest, and seems to have a solid track record. If you have data to the contrary, I’d like to see it.

  263. Bina said,

    January 20, 2009 at 17:25

    Shorter “The Truth”: NiggerloverNIGGERLOVERniggerloverNIGGERLOVER…

    I mean, that IS what you’re trying to say, isn’t it Troofy?

Leave a Comment

Comment Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree

httpbl_stats()