14
Dies irae, Pt. II
OH THE HUMANITY:
Joe the Plumber plunges deeper: ‘Military should decide what information to give the media.’
[...]
WURZELBACHER: You don’t need to see what’s happening every day, that’s my personal opinion, you don’t have to share it. But, you know, okay, you don’t have to see, you know, 800 dead, 801 dead. It’s like they drill that in your head. … They want you to sit there saying there are so many people dying. You know these are large, these are numbers, you know I don’t want to take away from that. Let me, uh, think about how to say that again. Just essentially, they keep drilling it into your head, newscast after newscast after newscast.
I think the military should decide what information to give the media and then the media can release it to the public. I don’t believe they need to be in the front lines with soldiers, I don’t believe they need to, uh, you know, be bothering the military for information or for access to certain areas.
Dear conservatives,
Look, as I said before, this country does in fact need to have some kind of competing political ideology. The reason your ideology has failed spectacularly over the past two election cycles is that you acted like crazy, belligerent idiots while in power. People were initially attracted to crazy, belligerent idiocy after 9/11 because they probably figured they could scare the bejeezus out of the terrorists by electing the wackiest, most incompetent government officials America has yet seen. After all, what better way to show our resolve to defeat the terrorists than by willingly screwing ourselves over in the process?
But alas, this strategy has not worked all that well, and crazy, belligerent idiocy is now on the outs. A wise thing to do would be to, you know, think about stuff and not offer more of the same stupid crap. Here’s a hint: issuing fatwas that Americans should not be allowed to learn any information that the military does not want them to learn is a step in the (wait for it) wrong direction.
Gavin adds: What I’m trying to understand — and help me out here if I’m missing something — is that Wurzelbacher doesn’t seem to be totally on top of the fact that the US and Israeli military are different things, because Israel and the US are actually not the same country…
Win0 said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:10
Like herpes, Joe the (not)Plumber is the gift that just keeps giving.
Innocent Bystander said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:12
JTP hates us for our freedoms. I’ll bet Joe would have liked the old Soviet Union. Their militarized government did a terrific job of deciding what the population needed to know.
GumbyAnne said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:16
You mean (not)Joe the (not)Plumber
Doctorb said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:19
I kind of want to know if Pajamas Media paid for him to fly to Israel so that he could pass along press releases and say stupid shit of value to nobody, because he could just as easily have done that at home. Then again, I suppose Pajamas Media would have used that money to do something equally stupid and annoying, so it’s basically a wash, but this way at least he’s out of the country.
Plus, imagine if he gets Jerusalem syndrome! He’d start thinking that he had important stuff to say about EVERYTHING.
Professor Coldheart said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:20
I find the neoconservative descent into not just anti-intellectualism, but anti-rationalism, refreshing. Information like “the number of U.S. casualties” or “the number of civilians killed” would only make it harder to prosecute a war! It dims the blood rage!
gbear said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:22
Roto-Reuters is full of fail.
Michael G. said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:24
Why does Joe hate democracy?
Legalize said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:31
But but but but Obama says “uh” when he speaks AND AND AND AND he uses a teleprompter. What now, LIEbruls? Huh? HUH?
tigrismus said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:32
Why then did he fly to Israel when the Israeli army is fully capable of issuing its own news briefs and opinions?
tigrismus said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:36
And though he’s younger than I am, he looks far, far older; that face has been used pretty hard, but I’m guessing the brain is as soft and unwrinkled as a newborn’s tiny heinie.
His Grace said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:38
To complain about showering?
Rene ala Carte said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:39
Joe continues to prove, day after day, why he was a single, ununionized plumber until the whackos discovered him.
Next thing you know he will set up a presidential exploratory committee with Hannity as its chairperson.
Neon Ovenlight said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:39
Well, if you take the Israeli military’s stand that everyone in Gaza is a terrorist, then the civilian casualties are ZERO. So what the fuck’s the problem, Joe?
Jake H. said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:41
Honestly, what’s next? Can the the confused old “he’s an Arab / no ma’am” lady do a 12-part series analyzing the subprime collapse?
LittlePig said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:44
Mr. Wurzelbacher knows a Final Solution when he sees one.
J— said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:48
With regard to Ponzi schemes, I think the schemers should decide what information to give the media and then the media can release it to the public.
The same goes for piracy, racketeering, and coupon fraud.
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:48
So as part of their battle to bypass the MSM stranglehold on the flow of information, Pajama Media have sent this nimrod over to Israel to convince you that the Israeli military should decide what information about civilian casualties should be available to the US population. If he’s aware that these are two different countries, he doesn’t care. I suppose that whenever there’s a conflict between a military force and a weak group of civilians, anywhere in the world, there is comfort in taking the side of power.
I see that tigrismus has already made this point, but it’s worth wondering what role PJM see for themselves in the brave new world of decentralised communication, if their most visible spokesman is an advocate for censorship and a media that pass on press releases.
they drill that in your head. … They want you to sit there saying [...] they keep drilling it into your head,
My thought-control-ray machine. Let me show you it.
Zandar1 said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:49
We should thank PJTV for sending Joe over there so that we um…don’t…have to fight him over here…or something…maybe…yeah.
GumbyAnne said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:51
I’d like to be a foreign correspondent but I hear journalisn school is hard. I think my next career move is going to be showing up at political events and saying dumbass stuff until I earn me some of that sweet wingnut welfare.
joe the plumber said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:54
Because, what the heck, y’know? If the, uh, the Jewish Army could um, y’know, kill the dirty muslim scum without all you pansies uh, finding out, y’know, being TOLD about it, they could probably kill ALL of ‘em. Lemme think about how to say that again.
Babies. Yeah, too many muslim babies, and too many Israeli bombs, y’know, and um, use ‘em, y’gotta use the bombs on the babies, y’know?
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:56
Why won’t he just go away, goddammit?
yoyo said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:57
hey joe next stop afghanistan! then he can argue that the US military can like do what they like because it’s all like about the terrorists like. Shooting into pakistan no worries, cause if you dont do that we all know those terrorists will invade their next door neighbours in Israel which is like the 51st state or sumthin. (Brain explodes!)
Go wingnuts!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 14, 2009 at 0:58
I keep hoping that being in (or at least kind of near) a war zone will help Joe to catch a clue.
I have this belief that traveling opens people’s minds, and for some reason a lifetime of observing young Mormons going off on their missions and returning, in most cases, as even bigger zealots hasn’t beaten that out of me. I guess it depends on how you spend your time abroad, and what you’re allowed to see and do.
I’m not surprised that, uncoached, Joe is spouting a pure authoritarian line of bullshit. I’m just surprised he wasn’t coached. Or maybe he was and, a la Palin, it didn’t stick very well.
Jon H said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:02
Someone please Photoshop his face onto a picture of Sergeant Schultz.
bulbul said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:05
Oh my God, something just hit me: what if Joe thinks he’s in Iraq?
Me said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:06
because Israel and the US are actually not the same country…
They are as far as Prime Minister Olmert is concerned. And he probably has some pretty good reasons for feeling that way.
Simba B said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:09
Oh my God, something just hit me: what if Joe thinks he’s in Iraq?
I don’t think we even know that Joe makes a distinction between that location and where he actually is.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:10
I’m sure to Joe, it’s all Derkaderkastan.
Raijin said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:12
Gavin, surely you mean the US military and the Israeli military are different things?
Me said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:12
I have this belief that traveling opens people’s minds
Not if by “traveling” you mean the sort of “traveling” some people do when they, say, “go camping” in a fifty foot motor home with a satellite dish. They’re not attempting to have a new experience so much as merely transporting familiar environs to a different location. Much like American tourists who travel abroad and spend the entire time comparing everything to the U.S.
I’m thinking you might have the equation in reverse–an open mind is required in order to travel and get anything out of it.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:14
I’m thinking you might have the equation in reverse–an open mind is required in order to travel and get anything out of it.
I bet you’re right, and I just have a hard time accepting that people can go places and be unseeing dorks.
Simba B said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:16
I just have a hard time accepting that people can go places and be unseeing dorks.
Apparently you are still in denial about the existence of the Republican Party, then.
bulbul said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:19
Xecklothxayyquou,
a lifetime of observing young Mormons going off on their missions and returning, in most cases, as even bigger zealots
For some reasons, there are a lot of Mormon kids in my city, just wandering the streets and doing their thing. I totally love them – there is something impossibly funny about American kids trying to tell about Jesus to a bunch of passing Catholics in the shadow of a 600-year old cathedral… One afternoon a bunch of them tried the schtick on me. We wound up talking for a while and among other things, they pretty much confirmed what I had already suspected: they may be in a foreign country, but all the time they’re here, they only stay with their own – local Mormons or affiliated religious groups. They only go out in groups or accompanied by their local brethren/sisters and if they do, it’s mostly to church, bible study or to proselytize and thus they will never actually come into contact with local people or local culture. That might explain your observation, Xecklothxayyquou, not to mention that it makes for a pretty bad missionary strategy.
I gotta hand it to them, though: after a year or so, most of them learn our language pretty damn well. And that’s no small feat.
Thom said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:21
You could turn the QEII around in the blank space in Joe the Dumber’s brain when he says:
Let me, uh, think about how to say that again.
Well, I guess you could do it anytime.
silbiger said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:23
Every once in a while I need a poignant reminder as to why I don’t pay attention to American or Global Politics anymore.
Thanks Joe!
I’m so happy I pledge allegiance to Civilization and not to political parties.
I find the internal challenge far more rewarding than the endless external complaints and lamentations.
I finally have peace of mind.
I encourage everyone to try to it.
It’s unnatural to hate and be unhappy.
D.N. Nation said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:27
Yes, Sam/Joe/Whatever, we know. War is Hell. Which is exactly why it’s a last resort, not the stuff to sooth inadequate wingnut fatheaded fucks like you. Which is exactly why we should realize just how awful it is.
Fuck you.
Lafcadio said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:29
Much like American tourists who travel abroad and spend the entire time comparing everything to the U.S.
Your first two sentences were great, but this one is just stupid.
How is that action uniquely American? And how is it related to traveling abroad? Europeans don’t come to the U.S. and bitch about how much better it is where they’re from? People from Philadelphia don’t go to Pittsburgh and say “Jeez, it’s so much better in Philly”? People from Milan don’t go to Rome and say “The food is better in Milan”? Come on.
And besides…how are you supposed to evaluate anything without relying on previous experience?
tigrismus said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:36
To complain about showering?
That’s it! While your so-called journalists bring you story after unauthorized story about potential war crimes and dead civilians, there is a sad dearth of shower and other plumbing-related stories that even the military(who can inform you of all you need to know about any “fighting” or “casualties” in an appropriately circumspect way) just can’t tell with the breadth of knowledge and experience an unlicensed plumber’s helper brings to the table.
El Cid said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:38
Pssst, no one tell Not-Joe the Not-Plumber, but the Israel Defense Forces do have their own media and they can censor the Israeli press.
Really. You can read IDF news releases in English here.
You can even read through a blog by a former long-time correspondent (“reporter” for Plumbass) who details what it’s like to report for Israel Army Radio (‘Galatz’ in that funny language they speak over there).
Or you can listen to Kol Israel, the shortwave national radio broadcast of the government of Israel.
None of which, unfortunately, focus on featuring loudmouth stumbling jackasses bitching out random people on the street for not being as completely god-awfully stupid as he is.
Me said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:38
Yes, Sam/Joe/Whatever, we know. War is Hell.
Rommel, you magnificent son of a bitch, I’ve never read your book!
(Or probably any other book).
Mona said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:40
Brad sez:
You say it so well and so often. But especially here. Who the hell is this guy — initially identified as a plumber — to tell us what we Americans may or may not read or hear from journalists? When he wasn’t in *cough* plumbing *cough* school, was he at the Pravda School for Journalism-as-Propaganda?
Marc with a C said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:40
You know, it’s funny.
I was going to make a joke and hyperbolize by having Joe say something along the lines of “The only way the American public should get its news is through heavily censored, jingoistic, 60-second newsreels at the beginning and end of movies.”
And then I remembered, that’s pretty much exactly what he said last time.
Principal Blackman said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:42
I think my next career move is going to be showing up at political events and saying dumbass stuff until I earn me some of that sweet wingnut welfare.
Damn, talk about a million-dollar idea.
Dr. BDH said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:46
I sort of recall another time when the Republican party sank itself for a while using plumbers. The media were involved then, too. It must be The Cycle of Crazy.
joshypoo said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:52
his head looks like it’s made out of silly putty.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:54
That is Serious Putty sir.
Loneoak said,
January 14, 2009 at 1:55
I wish we could send Gavin somewhere on a foreign wingnut mockery trip.
Roughly, if Joe the “plumber” were to plumbing as Joe the “journalist” is to journalism, he would be arguing that we don’t need plumbers because as long as you shit in only one corner of your living room the shit will take care of itself.
tigrismus said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:02
his head looks like it’s made out of silly putty.
I can’t refute this, but for some unknowable reason he also make me think of pipe dope. It is a mystery!
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:05
As far as Mormon missionaries, it seems just as I suspected: The obligatory “mission” is a further cult-style indoctrination.
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:08
Isn’t it, though? Oh, the dope on pipes … Sorry. Fuh’git it.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:11
Certainly Jimmy Olsen would have caused a lot less trouble for Superman if he’d just stayed home.
Candy said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:19
I for one do not wish to see Notjoe’s plumber’s crack.
Jennifer said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:21
Jeez, this guy is so clueless that I bet he never even learned the cardinal rule for plumbers.
Ask if you want to know what it is.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:22
If the cardinal dies get out of the pipe quickly?
Our Dead Selves said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:23
I was kind of hoping that notJoe would manage to get himself blowed up…
If only we were so lucky.
Andre said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:24
This is a parody, right? I mean, this has got to be some sort of weird performance art thing I’m just not getting, right?
Right?
Jennifer said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:27
If the cardinal dies get out of the pipe quickly?
No.
It’s “don’t chew your fingernails.”
Think about it.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:32
The obligatory “mission” is a further cult-style indoctrination.
It is intended as such and mostly works that way, but you get the occasional kid who just can’t swallow it and comes back disillusioned. Most of them still stay in the church, since that’s where their entire social network is and such, but they tend to end up jackmormons (i.e., MINOs).
Apparently you are still in denial about the existence of the Republican Party, then.
Most of them never go anywhere.
Andre said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:32
It’s “don’t chew your fingernails.”
Well, that’d explain the shit-eating grin.
J— said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:35
Roger L. Simon assesses Joe the Plumber’s work to date.
Yes, the camera likes him, and Pajamas Media and CPAC love him. So much, that he will be a featured participant, along with Glenn Reynolds and Michelle Malkin, at their upcoming joint conference, “Conservatism 2.0: Uniting the Next Generation Online.”
Will the American Milk Solids Council send its most trusted correspondent?
Colleen said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:38
Ok Jennifer, I’ll bite, what is the cardinal rule for plumbers?
Jennifer said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:39
Colleen – look above at my 2:27 comment.
Colleen said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:39
Apparently I’m too slow for you fast typers.
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:46
Could that hat-wearing fool just shut the fuck up?
And that solid legacy “C” that Bushie got at Yale?
Is it my duty, as a fellow SoCal denizen, to find Simon & shove his hat where it will be of no use to him? A grim task, but honor, duty & love of country may yet require it.
I’m enough of a “rough man” to handle someone ten yrs. older than I. Even a brain-damaged wing-nut chicken-hawk.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:50
Grade inflation is ruining America.
J— said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:51
I think it would be best for the IDF to grade Joe the Plumber’s performance.
jurassicpork said,
January 14, 2009 at 2:54
My guest blogger’s impression of Bush’s final presser. Not to be missed, trust me.
El Cid said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:01
Wow. So, some random dumbass gets a “B+” on the Roger Simon School of I’m A F***ing A**hole,” and this is supposed to be better than some equivalent score at Harvard Actual Real F***ing Prestigious and Difficult University, not ‘Harvard’ The Pretend School for Right Wing Nitwits Who Think Having A Bald Head and Angry Glare Makes You Smart Or Some Sh*t Like That.
justme said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:03
Okay. New keyboard plz.
Blech.
–
What I really wonder is, how far does Schmoe think this should be taken? No, no. Not like that. It’s quite obvious that he’d just as soon see “the military”, or whatever instrument of government that might purportedly agree with his viewpoint, edit and write all the news, not just the pesky “war reporting.”
I’m wondering if he thinks that ought to work everywhere. I mean, how much nicer would our lives be if the Sudanese government was the sole source of information about Darfur? Why, we’d just know that everything was peaches and ice cream, now wouldn’t we? Just think of what a wonderful world it would be if all the news from Sub-Saharan Africa was filtered through the whatever military happened to be in charge. If Schmoe had his way, there wouldn’t be any more civil unrest, anywhere! Do you think any of us would have the vaguest idea where Tiananmen Square is? Why, thnink of all the trouble we could have avoided if we had simply taken Leni Riefenstahl and that other (not)Joe as gospel?
Oh, my. Now look what I’ve done.
justme said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:07
With earth-moving machinery.
El Cid said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:08
justme: No, Not-Joe the Not-Plumber’s enough of a dumbass so that were all war-related news handled by the military, then he’d be yelling at them for how they was all talkin’ too much instead a’ just showin’ films of the blow-it-up, why we got to hear some damn fag general with all this gold shit on his hat when all Americans need is to hear a couple grunts yell ‘F*** YOU, RAGHEADS!’ and blow they a**es to Kingdom Come!
And so then the military gives into that, and then Not-Joe’s gonna freak out ’cause they’re still using words & sh*t, when all we need to see is some damn yelling and pictures of righteous angry American soldiers and the explosions.
And so on and so forth, until “war coverage” is basically a random set of images of flames, body parts, and angry war screams for about 30 seconds before the movie starts.
Principal Blackman said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:18
Will the American Milk Solids Council send its most trusted correspondent?
Man, I fucking hope so. The wingnuts have gone all-in with Sam the Joe the Plumber, so the comedy potential is out of this world.
int argc said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:19
This.
a couple grunts said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:20
Um, I think you’re looking for the Artillery.
They’re up on top of that hill.
Now can we just eat our beans and drink our instant coffee without some dope drawing a whole bunch of fire, fer crissakes?
Why don’t y’all go sit on THAT side of the perimeter…
mikey
tigrismus said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:22
That’s not a perfect grade, but it’s a good one and far better than Al Gore got at Harvard.
Joe’s pretend grade from fellow traveler and useless idiot Simon is better than Al Gore’s real average for real classes from real professors at a real university*! TAKE THAT, AL BORE! WHO IS FAT!!
*Al Gore also graduated cum laude and had a job as a real reporter. For the military, even, for a while.
Christopher said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:28
You’re assuming the people you’re talking to actually HAVE an ideology, something I see no evidence of.
Steerpike said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:31
And now, another News (very) brief from JTP:
You want the thuth? You can’t handle the truth! Move along, nothing to see here.
Let me, uh, think about how to say that again.
Man, that’s some industrial strength, highly-enriched, weapons-grade stoopidium.
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:33
until “war coverage” is basically a random set of images of flames, body parts, and angry war screams for about 30 seconds before the movie starts.
I honestly thought that was the trailer.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:35
You’re assuming the people you’re talking to actually HAVE an ideology, something I see no evidence of.
Their ideology is to act like crazy, belligerent idiots whether in power or not. That, and to stuff their pockets when they are in power.
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:35
I think it would be best for the IDF to grade Joe the Plumber’s performance.
With earth-moving machinery.
Traditionally they favour bulldozers.
honus said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:36
what does it say about PJM that they send a totally unqualified dork shithead to cover a military struggle in the most strategically important part of the world? That they think the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a joke? Cheap war profiteering, by the supporters of the troops!
justme said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:38
Don’t short-change the Two-Minute Hate.
makaka said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:39
the israeli military does censor and it even prosecutes journalists for “leaking” information that was plain to see
Rightwing Pest Control Experts™³²®© said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:44
Comics Curmugeon IS funny, sez I.
~
Just Alison said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:45
what does it say about PJM that they send a totally unqualified dork shithead to cover a military struggle in the most strategically important part of the world? That they think the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a joke?
Yes. Yes, they do. Why else send Joe the Plunger?
a different brad said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:49
NJTNP’s head looks more like it’s made out of playdoh n bacon, to me.
And silly Gavin, Israel is totally a part of God’s America! Haven’t you read Left Behind?
mikey said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:50
An hour ago they began moving en masse towards the Gaza Strip accompanied by troops, at the same time that IDF artillery picked up their fire on the northern Gaza Strip.”
Sure, ’cause you know those dudes were just sitting around watching the telly. And that’s how they knew the fight was on. The incoming rounds were confusing them…
mikey
Lesley said,
January 14, 2009 at 3:59
On the one hand I hope Joe and a stray, preferably Israeli, bullet meet; on the other Joe the Martyr would be much much worse than Joe the Plumber or Joe the Reporter.
Joe opines that reporters should just stay home and wait for faxes from the military. So why is he still there? Set an example, Joe. GO HOME and find a clogged pipe to plumb.
(He’s definitely not one of the zany ‘loveable’ bugfuck wingnuts, Html mentioned.)
Tripp Palin said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:00
Whatever happened to JtP’s record contract? Yo!
Lesley said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:03
Whenever I catch footage of this idiot he sounds dull and bored and put upon. How long before he appears as a regular on The Simpsons?
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:08
The camera likes him.
I guess this answers any questions I may have had about how PJMedia see the role of journalists in their paradigm-shattering scheme to bypass the MSM and bring the truth to the people.
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:11
My camera hates Joe The Plunger w/ the fiery passion of a zillion+ white-hot solar objects.
tigrismus said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:13
Wait, the camera likes him? Are they not seeing the same photos I’m seeing? Cuz I keep hoping they’ll put the lens cap back on.
justme said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:16
Shocked. I’m shocked to see that there is hypocrisy going on in that establishment.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:18
That camera drinks like a fish.
scott said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:18
Am I the only person who thinks Joe looks like Michael chiklis?
Anyway,
I love your blog and I think you would appreciate my sense of humor. If I link to your blog on my blog is there any way you could return the favor? I think we could both get more exposure!
Check it out: Http://scottstipoftheday.blogspot.com
Thanks so much
justme said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:19
Ding! A winner.
An affinity for D-9s, as I remember.
I have no doubts that they have scrapers and graders not too far behind.
Teaflax said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:21
I just have a hard time accepting that people can go places and be unseeing dorks.
My maternal grandmother’s second husband had traveled all over the world as an engineer, been to over 60 countries on all continents, and he was the most narrow-minded, stupid eedjit it’s ever been my misfortune to be tangentially related to. So it is quite possible, primarily because stupidity is 90% an attitude and only 10% mental ability. Most stupid people choose to be that way, and that means they don’t want to process new information in a way that expands their minds and souls.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:24
I have heard this: “WHAT? YOU DON’T HAVE CHANNEL FOUR HERE?”
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:25
So it is quite possible, primarily because stupidity is 90% an attitude and only 10% mental ability.
I worded my comment poorly – I can easily believe that it’s true that people travel all over, having seen several examples (though the guy you describe is a more extreme case than any I’ve met). It’s just that I wish it weren’t so.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:27
err, I can easily believe it’s true that people are dicks after traveling all over, etc.
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:27
An affinity for D-9s, as I remember.
Wikipedia informs me that Rachel Corrie “was killed by a Caterpillar D9R armored bulldozer operated by the Israel Defense Forces (IDF)”. There is no mention of a driver so I assume that these bulldozers are autonomous AIs, with no respect for the 3 Laws of Robotics.
Mr. Wonderful said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:29
I was going to advocate a sleeker, less wasteful way of writing his name:
(Joe the Plumber) (Not)
but decided that Sam the Joe the Plumber had a more pleasingly Biblical ring to it. A grateful nation thanks Principal Blackman with gratitude.
So Joe’s first report in the field is to announce that reporters shouldn’t cover the thing he’s covering, and at most should convey what their subjects decide is fit and permissible. Got it.
Next, Joe the Film Critic: “Who are we to go around having, like, opinions about movies? What do we know about what a director or an actor or similar professionals have to confront? They’ve decided that the best version of the movie in question is the one they’ve released, so why don’t we honor their dedication and stop foisting opinionating upon them?”
Lesley said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:30
Photoshop loves everybody.
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:30
No.
The Plunger appears to have a bit more chin than The Thing. Other than that, it’s separated at birth time.
Mr. Wonderful said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:32
Longer Andy Warhol: “In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes, and in many cases the cause of their fame will be THEIR FUCKING STOOPID STOOPIDNESS.”
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:33
“Must these Englishmen live that I might die?”
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:35
We can never have too many Blue Oyster Cult lyrics.
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:40
Much as I despise jurrassic porking oneself, on occasion there is a direct connection to current activities.
El Cid said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:43
Not Joe the Not Plumber = Sam Wurzelbacher
Not (Joe + Plumber) = Sam Wurzelbacher
Joe + Plumber = (Sam Wurzelbacher) / Not
Plumber = ((Sam Wurzelbacher) / Not) – Joe
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:44
I, for one, prefer Blue Öyster Cult lyrics (esp. those by Richard Meltzer) but that’s just the kind of weasel I am.
Candy said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:45
Faux Joe
Cpl. Cam said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:49
GODDAMMIT!!! Will someone please get this asshole a copy of “A Bright and Shining Lie?”
Like the War Nerd says it’s easy to learn the wrong lessons from a war you win but how do these fuckers keep drawing the wrong conclusions from wars we’ve lost?
El Cid said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:50
Cpl Cam: Well, NotJoe the NotPlumber is not going to read a whole, big, boring book. If you can get Chuck Norris to summarize the book for NotJoe in under 20 seconds including a roundhouse kick to a hippie protester, NotJoe might listen.
bayville said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:53
For this site’s sake —- Palin/Joe 2012
El Cid said,
January 14, 2009 at 4:56
Via Poorman: Joe Jacob Wurzelbacherschmidt
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:04
We are all Joe Jacob Wurzelbacherschmidt.
Snorghagen said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:08
And while you Lieberals mock JoeNotJoe the PlumberNotPlumber, the Christian Science Monitor speculates on the possibility of a Senate run.
I can only hope.
BTW, why did he dip his pate in Crisco?
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:09
BTW, why did he dip his pate in Crisco?
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:11
I swear it’s JanusNode commenting on that CSM article:
El Cid said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:11
You know, in case you wnodered what it would be like to have Jesse Ventura run for Senate, except with maybe 1/2 of 1% of Ventura’s mastery of policy, 0% of the self-discipline from the military career, and 200% of the media-grabbing dumbery.
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:15
Un-Righteous Bubba, go to hell!
WereBear said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:16
That made me laugh so hard I hurt my sinuses.
Is it too much to ask that they just go ahead and wear clown shoes, so the distracted can still tell what is going on?
Steerpike said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:21
I am Joe the Plumber, and so is my wife!
g said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:28
Why does his head look so shiny? Does he buff it?
Rich2506 said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:31
What poor Joe doesn’t seem to understand is the reason that Americans don’t get their war news only from the military. In a democracy (Yes, I realize Joe probably slept through this part back in high school), citizens are supposed to evaluate the costs of the “neat adventures” that our leaders like to send American soldiers into. We can’t do that if the military is hiding everything that might give people the impression that war is bloody and that people suffer during it.
Simba B said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:39
BTW, why did he dip his pate in Crisco?
That one goes right up there on the “straight people who are clueless about anal sex” list along with “donkey punch”.
Funny, though.
Lesley said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:46
If McCain hadn’t mentioned him for no good reason in that debate he’d still be Joe Nobody in Bumfuck, America.
J— said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:49
Don’t ask why, but I’ve wandered back to PJTV. Right now on the front page:
The MSM needs to stop pushing its own agenda when it comes to conformation. I think the American Kennel Club should decide what information to give the media and then the media can release it to the public.
owlbear1 said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:51
I think the military should decide what information to give the media and then the media can release it to the public
Ah yes, the “Thank you, may I have another?” school of patriotic journalism.
TheProudIslamist said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:52
Are America and Israel different countries?
Not living in either, I couldn’t really tell you – although I do know that they have a different system of government in Israel, and that a lot of people there speak Hebrew.
On a policy level, though, I don’t see the two disagreeing any more than states tend to disagree with the US Federal government. And one seems totally dependent on the other.
In the Muslim world (and probably a good part of the decolonized world too), Israel looks like America’s Algeria.
Marc with a C said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:52
Here’s hoping a sudden change in the wind direction sends a cloud of white phosphorous his way.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:54
There should be a pool on when Joe will discover this.
Snorghagen said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:55
I have to admit that not knowing the details about JTP’s recreational habits sounds pretty appealing.
Our Dead Selves said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:56
That one goes right up there on the “straight people who are clueless about anal sex” list along with “donkey punch”.
Slightly O/T, but when I saw that there’s a movie called “Donkey Punch” I laughed so hard, I pooted.
Bonus: It’s a horror movie.
Stephen Deadlyass said,
January 14, 2009 at 5:58
Since Joe is not a plumber (or a Joe) and to reflect his new profession, I suggest some new nicknames:
Ernie Pyles
Gannon-lite
Fuckface, Cub Reporter
Mooser said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:06
Gee, why does it seem to me Joe is basically saying :”I’m scared shitless to go anywhere near the fighting”?
Sure seems like that’s what it amounts to.
Steerpike said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:09
No mention has ever been made of not-Joe ever having served in the military, even so much as National Guard, ROTC or the Salvation Army, so where do these ass-clowns get off treating his opinion on any military matter as valid?
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:14
Funny Engrish:
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:14
Because he’ll say what the IDF says.
Anonymous said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:24
RB, I take it that you stumbled upon that link while Googling for “grilled monkey in zoo”.
Perhaps there is a rumour circulating that the Obama administration intends to clamp down on the sale of Stupid, causing people like ~(JtP) and Roger Simon to stockpile it while they can. This would explain a lot.
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:25
RB, I assume that you stumbled upon that link while Googling for “grilled monkey in zoo”.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:26
Falk you.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:35
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/01/13/al-jazeera-releases.html
Sorry, Couldn't Resist™³²®© said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:41
Tennessee Guerilla Women
So when is the President-elect dining with Paul Krugman, Helen Thomas, Amy Goodman and Noam Chomsky???
===============================
As soon as Hillary tell him to.
~
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | Homepage | 01.13.09 – 10:09 pm | #
————————————————————————–
LOL. Well, I hope she gets around to it soon.
susan | Homepage | 01.13.09 – 10:16 pm | #
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:43
My god, those idiots feed their trolls!
Snorghagen said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:47
Haven’t those whacky Muslims heard that the media has been abolished from, you know, reporting?
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:51
They think you can just take pictures with picture-taking machines or something!
The footage is pretty interesting: I gather the people in Gaza are people.
Sorry, Couldn't Resist™³²®© said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:56
The footage is pretty interesting: I gather the people in Gaza are people.
Teh Lizard People will leaven no efforts unturned in order to make lunch.
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 6:57
Perhaps there is a rumour circulating that the Obama administration will clamp down on purchases of Stupid, causing people like ~(JtP) and Roger Simon to stockpile it while they can. Surely this would explain a lot.
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:07
Are America and Israel different countries?…
And one seems totally dependent on the other.
If Ehud Olmert is to be believed, the subordinate partner of the two is the US.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:07
Leveraging the Stupid could lead to Kookastrophe.
Snorghagen said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:18
Leveraging the Stupid could lead to Kookastrophe.
Ultimately, we could be faced with Armageddumb.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:20
Can Odumb save us from Ignarok?
JUST A NORMAL GUY said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:29
WELL I SEE JOE THE PLUMBER HAS THE LIBS RUNNING SCARRED AGAIN AND IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT YOU DO’NT HAVE TO GET A MASTER DEGREE FROM YALE TO BE A JOUNRLAIST YOU JUST GO STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE AND ASK THEM THIS IS WHAT JOE IS DOING IN ISREAL. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS FINDING THAT ISREAL HAS BEEN THERE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS AND THE PALESNTAINS JUST NEED TO GET OVER IT. BUT ANYWAYS I THINK IT JUST GOES TO THAT IF THE REPUBLICANS CONTINUE TO STICK WITH JOE THE PLUMBER AND SARAH “THE BARICOODA” PALIN THEN THEY WILL KEEP ON KICKING DEMOCRAT BUTT UNTIL KINGDOM COME
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:37
Hey, howcum the newly posted Times page sez, in its Opinion header:
The key to peace in Gaza is to help Fatah prepare the West Bank for real freedom, writes Jonah Goldberg of The Atlantic.
The actual author is Jeffrey Goldberg. Boy, did that double-take cause some serious whiplash… y’all better look quick before they fix it.
FlipYrWhig said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:50
I think politicians should decide what information to give the media and then the media can release it to the public. I don’t believe they need to, uh, you know, be bothering politicians for information or for access to certain areas.
canamerican66 said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:51
I’m flabbergasted and stupefied. All I can muster is… what a dope.
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:51
Well, maybe it’s the other way around and Jonah really does have an Atlantic gig. I’m losing it… too much reading about reality inversions has finally taken its toll… thank heavens everyone’s migrated to the new thread, sparing me much mockery.
M. Bouffant said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:56
IF THE REPUBLICANS CONTINUE TO STICK WITH JOE THE PLUMBER AND SARAH “THE BARICOODA” PALIN THEN THEY WILL KEEP ON KICKING DEMOCRAT BUTT UNTIL KINGDOM COME
Keep on? Keep on what? Sarah & Joe & John got their butts handed to them in a nice, several million votes short package. Remember? Who’s being inaugurated next week? Butt-kicker Obama, that’s who!!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:58
M Bouffant and RB:
Don’t forget my dog, fixed and consequent.
g said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:59
YOU DO’NT HAVE TO GET A MASTER DEGREE FROM YALE TO BE A JOUNRLAIST YOU JUST GO STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE AND ASK THEM
Actually, Joe the Plumber’s technique is not really to ASK anyone anything. He just gets on camera and blah blah blahs his own opinion regardless of what the reality of his setting is. His “source” is entirely internal.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
January 14, 2009 at 7:59
Of course, I mean Smut Clyde.
I blame Chiklis the Plunger, Minion of WordPress
g said,
January 14, 2009 at 8:00
And Gawd, isn’t Sarah Palin just a whiny-ass bitch? “Bloggers are bein’ mean ta me!”
Get over yourself.
neal peart said,
January 14, 2009 at 8:04
Isn’t “Josef Wurzelbacher” of German descent. I’m just sayin’. Doesn’t he f*** goats? Sounds like a liberal fascist, except, he’s conservative. Go figure. Has anyone checked his countertops?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
January 14, 2009 at 8:08
Plus, if we ever see a Cheney post again, I am pulling the trigger on ‘Career Of Evil’ lyrics before y’all….
Badger3k said,
January 14, 2009 at 8:57
Israel and the US have to be the same country, at least by these conservetards. Otherwise, Jeebus will never come back when Jerusalem is solely occupied by Israelites, will never wipe out them heathen Jews and Muslims, and save Joe and his ilk from the fiery doom that the c-tards hope to happen.
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 9:47
‘Career Of Evil’ lyrics before y’all….
Surely ‘Dominance & Submission’ is more along Cheney’s street.
jim said,
January 14, 2009 at 10:12
Yeah, Joe Weinerschnitzel makes such a cogent point – because no military on Earth has ever tried anything as radical as spinning or filtering the news that comes from hot war-zones before. I bet the Pentagon boys are just slapping themselves silly, wishing they’d be able to make some headway with such a wonderful idea, like, say, in Iraq or Afghanistan … gack.
“The camera loves him”?!?
Come ON now. I’m thinking someone’s got a yen for the “Doc Savage As Dumpster-Diver” aesthetic. Dude looks like he’s already been through detox twice & he’s working on the hat-trick – & presumably that’s with make-up &/or digital “upgrading” … that camera needs to see an opthamologist.
Mauro said,
January 14, 2009 at 10:15
Remind me again why Middle Nickname the Fake Job is doing something, ANYTHING, other than fake plumbing? Sarah Palin is a wingnut, but she was actually elected Governor and presided over a huge budget surplus in her state (though through no fault of her own). She sucks ass at interviews, but she’s actually not so bad once she’s had time to think (she did a Fox News interview after the Gibson and Couric fiascoes where she actually sounded intelligent and gave the answers to the questions she couldn’t answer earlier).
But Joe the Plumber? WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE LISTENING TO HIM? Why does he get to go on TV?
I have an answer! Celebrity power. He’s a celebrity. Not a famous pundit, but a People-style celebrity. So when he does stuff, it’s news. When he says really dumb shit, it’s news. It’s like Paris Hilton going to jail or whatever (when she came out, news agencies had HELICOPTERS to follow her). I don’t think anyone in the media actually likes Joe the Plumber as a force in politics, but they cover his antics because, since he’s a political celebrity, they’re news. Conservatives must be kicking themselves in the face over the ridiculous image they’re presenting in Joe the Plumber. But see, he won’t go away. Even as someone people love to hate, he’s someone who will be followed by the news. Even though it’s been made clear that his name is Samuel and that he isn’t actually a plumber, he’s still going to be news, because he’s someone we “know”, even if we “know” him to be a fraud.
So we can just sit back and enjoy the show of stupid. No sane, thinking person would ever actually agree with anything he says.
Trouble is, that’s not saying much.
nationalplumbingcode said,
January 14, 2009 at 10:25
No one knows wassup with JtP’s record contract? I’m just curious. Rap? Country? Free jazz? He, apparently, does have a record contract for _something_.
My best guess as to why JtP is a super celebrity? He’s not doing it on his own. Like Sarah Palin, he’s endorsed by the GOP establishment, even if they (probably) aren’t going to let him run for much more than dogcatcher. Nah, public office, isn’t his role. Nope. He’s a GOP lighting rod, like John Ashcroft. His role is to make evil shits, like, say, Cheney, look like rational, electable, politicians. He’s lowering the bar so that the next generation of GOP leaders, like, say, Erik the Red, ahem, can waltz into public view and our media will say “He’s no Joe the Plumber, he’s an in-tel-lec-tual. He’s got some hair. He’s not a plumber, he’s a thinker and a writer.”
dalton periphery said,
January 14, 2009 at 11:02
…for years i used to tell people that Beavis and Butthead were real, i went to junior high school with them; and then they (the people) would back away, slowly, not making eye contact…but i always thought that Homer Simpson was just a caricature, nobody could be quite as much of a self-satisfied, belligerent numbskull as that without the indestructablity bestowed upon cartoon characters…but here, dear friends and neighbors, is Homer in meat (SPAM most likely) space. Is it any wonder that my mind’s on fire?
Blue Öyster Cult said,
January 14, 2009 at 12:33
And the joke’s on you.
Snarla said,
January 14, 2009 at 13:25
Please don’t show that glistening bald head again. Photoshop a hat or something on there. Please.
jim said,
January 14, 2009 at 14:07
Now, for your contemplation: not lies, not damned lies – just statistics.
Looks like Joe The
PlumberMusic Star“Reporter” picked himself one hell of a home-team, huh?El Cid said,
January 14, 2009 at 14:07
I like his model of mentioning Minnesota and Europe and the North Pole and saying that this is proof that it’s now colder “everywhere”. We don’t need no damn faggot “globe” telling us how there are still other parts of the Urf some damn whur.
RvB said,
January 14, 2009 at 14:14
Mindless in Gaza. (Did someone get this one already? Probably.) I have this feeling that someone found out about Harvey Pekar and asked themselves, “where can we get an autodidact working-class Ohioan, only for our side?” And then they found this albino turd.
perris said,
January 14, 2009 at 15:26
brad, a fun read I must say, allow me a comment on the following paragraph;
But alas, this strategy has not worked all that well, and crazy, belligerent idiocy is now on the outs. A wise thing to do would be to, you know, think about stuff and not offer more of the same stupid crap. Here’s a hint: issuing fatwas that Americans should not be allowed to learn any information that the military does not want them to learn is a step in the (wait for it) wrong direction.
it seems they like the really unintelligent for their leaders
Reagan was considered pedestrian at best and the only reason bush 1 was elected was the fact that he was Reagan’s vice president
bush 2 is clearly less then pedestrian, closer to moron I think would not be unkind
then they tried to run McCain, another politician with pedestrian intellect, graduating fourth from the bottom of his class and only graduated because his father was in the military and had pull at the academy.
and now they are trying to run palin, if there might be a politician less intelligent then bush that person is palin…the difference I believe is that while bush 2 would gladly be a puppet and had no stomach for actually doing things, Reagan became mentally incapacitated and had no idea his strings were being pulled, McCain was already happy about having strings pulled, palin is a completely different animal
palin believes SHE is the puppet master and while she has no capacity as an intellectual she would be far MORE DANGEROUS then the puppet we’ve seen in office for the past 8 years
and no, I don’t think Cheney is the puppeteer, he is as big a moron and failure (see rolling stone) as bush, the only difference is Cheney has a savant ability with the English language but an idiot he is never the less
davek said,
January 14, 2009 at 16:15
Not^2 = 1, so Plumber = Not*(Sam Wurzelbacher) – Joe
Sam Wurzelbacher Sam and Wurzelbacher
Not*(Sam Wurzelbacher) = (Not Sam) or (Not Wurzelbacher) [DeMorgan's Rule]
Hence Plumber = ((Not Sam) or (Not Wurzelbacher)) XOR Joe, i.e., a plumber is either Joe, or he is either not Sam or not Wurzelbacher, but if he is Joe, he cannot be Sam Wurzelbacher.
That’s logic.
Little Red Henski (bjacques' mask slips) said,
January 14, 2009 at 16:28
@RvB:
I was thinking more like Clueless in Gaza…
Steerpike said,
January 14, 2009 at 16:29
Joe the Plumber is just like Attilla the Hun, and also John the Baptist, and Winne the Pooh.
Same middle name, ya know
fuzed said,
January 14, 2009 at 16:32
Wait, this is better than The Onion. The Onion should hire /not Joe. Please keep ‘em coming, and we’ll keep the laugh track on.
UncommonSense said,
January 14, 2009 at 17:00
What I’m trying to understand — and help me out here if I’m missing something — is that Wurzelbacher doesn’t seem to be totally on top of the fact that the US and Israeli military are different things, because Israel and the US are actually not the same country…
Are you sure about that, Gavin?
‘Cause I’m not so sure.
More to the point, the rest of the world, especially the Arab parts of it, are really not so sure.
over_educated said,
January 14, 2009 at 18:30
““I said, ‘Get me President Bush on the phone,’ ” Mr. Olmert said in a speech in the southern Israeli city of Ashkelon, according to The Associated Press. “They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said I didn’t care: ‘I need to talk to him now,’ ” Mr. Olmert continued. “He got off the podium and spoke to me.”
Israel opposed the resolution, which called for a halt to the fighting in Gaza, because the government said it did not provide for Israel’s security. It passed 14 to 0, with the United States abstaining.
Mr. Olmert claimed that once he made his case to Mr. Bush, the president called Ms. Rice and told her to abstain. “She was left pretty embarrassed,” Mr. Olmert said, according to The A.P.”
It’s statements like that that have generated the general consensus (even is Israel) that Olmert is Israel’s worst PM ever.
Mooser said,
January 14, 2009 at 18:52
Ah yes, and won’t the Obama administration be thrilled at Olmert’s humiliation of a black woman! Should get things off on the right foot between the two. I mean, you know, NOT!
tigrismus said,
January 14, 2009 at 18:55
Why does his head look so shiny? Does he buff it?
That Shine-o Ball-o is a wonder, I’m telling you. I do think he should quit moisturizing his face with that brine/chromium sulfate solution, though.
Bina said,
January 14, 2009 at 19:01
ZOMG SOMEONE’S CAPS LOCK IS BUSTED, HIS SPELLCHECKER IS NOT WERKING, AND HIS BRAIN IS UP HIS ASS.
Sheer comedy gold.
Labrys said,
January 14, 2009 at 19:44
Wow…he is a conservative wetdream of a reporter, isn’t he? Gives all the sheeple permission to continue being ignorant of what goes on in their world and in their name?! That whole “you don’t have to know about it, or share it” bit is priceless stupid.
The Goddamn Batman Boldly Goes Where No Goddamn Batman Has Gone Before said,
January 14, 2009 at 20:07
The more I look at that picture, the more I’m convinced that he’s one of the lower-rent aliens from the original Star Trek series, maybe from Planet I-Was-Too-Hung-Over-To-Shave-This-Morning. Maybe it’s the shiny patch with the throbbing temple veins.
LittlePig said,
January 14, 2009 at 20:17
because Israel and the US are actually not the same country…
Why hell, Gavin, everybody knows that! The US is only a satellite country of Israel.
handy said,
January 14, 2009 at 20:21
WELL I SEE JOE THE PLUMBER HAS THE LIBS RUNNING SCARRED
As a lib, I am not too ashamed to say I was scarred, in deep places, after reading that BS.
tigrismus said,
January 14, 2009 at 20:35
Maybe it’s the shiny patch with the throbbing temple veins.
And WTF is up with that bright red ear? Does he use Nair to keep hairless and suffered an auricular chemical burn?
Capn Fatback said,
January 14, 2009 at 21:33
You know?
Lolly said,
January 14, 2009 at 21:50
Joe the Plumber is just like Attilla the Hun, and also John the Baptist, and Winne the Pooh.
Same middle name, ya know
You forgot Kermit. How could you forget Kermit?
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 21:54
Nick the Stripper?
Smut Clyde said,
January 14, 2009 at 22:33
Ahem.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 22:37
I steal Smut on the internet. Big deal.
chocolatepie said,
January 14, 2009 at 22:42
Can we just go ahead and change the mascot of the Republican party to a screeching monkey? Because honestly, that’s all I see when I look at them. Get Billo to tell them it would offend Darwinists and pro-choicers and they’ll be all over it.
They’re stupid, selfish, feces-flinging wastes of carbon-based material. Get them out of my fucking face and into the zoo where they belong.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 14, 2009 at 22:43
Grilled monkey in zoo with public!
chocolatepie said,
January 14, 2009 at 22:58
We do not wish to grill such a monkey.
chocolatepie said,
January 14, 2009 at 22:59
We do not wish to grill such a monkey.
FYWP.
Principal Blackman said,
January 14, 2009 at 23:05
A grateful nation thanks Principal Blackman with gratitude.
In response to your thanks, all I can say is: I’m an obtuse man, so I’ll try to be oblique.
Principal Blackman said,
January 14, 2009 at 23:12
BTW, how long before Sam the Joe the Plumber has his own reality show on TNN?
LittlePig said,
January 14, 2009 at 23:52
Maybe it’s the shiny patch with the throbbing temple veins.
temple?! Wait, that’s his head?
Smut Clyde said,
January 15, 2009 at 0:16
~(JtP)’s appearance is easier to cope with when you realise that he is actually a George Grosz painting, come to life.
tigrismus said,
January 15, 2009 at 0:57
Smut, that’s so perfect I will always think of !Joe as “that Grosz bald guy” from now on.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 15, 2009 at 3:28
Smut – that painting is awesome. I think I even see Teh Buttocks in the upper right!
Bina said,
January 15, 2009 at 4:06
Draw a line down the middle of Joe Worthlessfucker’s greasy pate, and you’ll get Teh Buttocks, all right.
Asshole said,
January 15, 2009 at 6:50
You guys are a bunch of assholes, picking on Mr. Clean like that! Joe’s an American icon – and he’s right: 800 is a really big number. Stop trying to confuse your betters with the facts.
sarah said,
January 15, 2009 at 10:01
something awful brings us the reflections of joe the plumber in gaza
chocolatepie said,
January 15, 2009 at 16:39
Now that’s what I call journalism!
Smut Clyde said,
January 15, 2009 at 23:53
800 dead, 801 dead
I would never have taken ~(JtP) for a fan of Manzanera or Eno.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 16, 2009 at 0:06
Dumbass Irae!
Here’s how I think it’ll go down:
Wurtzy, pisses off Israelis by making reference to “International Jewish Banking Conspiracy” he’s read about in a Bircher pamphlet.
.
Israelis run him out of town on a rail.
He ends up in disputed border area with no water, and collapses in desert.
He’s saved by a Bedouin girl, falls in love with her, and converts to Islam.
Joins Al-Qaeda, becomes known as “Yusuf the American”, starts making anti-America videos.
Gets shot in Afghanistan, from a helicopter, by Sarah Palin, while she visits Alaskan National Guard members.
Mark my words, libruls!
tofubo said,
January 17, 2009 at 19:41
circular fail
you go to the link of the video, it says you need to be a member to view, you click on the link of “free videos”, and it lists the video there, you click it, and it says you need to be a member to view
lather, rinse, repeat
Kip W said,
January 19, 2009 at 3:07
“Joe NOR Plumber”
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