12
Some like it rough
Via John Cole, it seems that Erick the Dim is getting a funny feeling in his pants thinking about Jack Bauer (my emphasis):
Screw Obama. Pardon Everybody.
Obama refuses to rule out investigating crimes by Bush administration officials.
This is precisely what I was blogging about the other day. Obama’s most dangerous game — a leftist intelligence and war agenda — will see the intelligence community collapse and American citizens die. By his unwillingness to use definitive language against prosecution of Bush administration officials, Barack Obama puts in jeopardy the future successes of this country against terrorism.
We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm. Those rough men might hesitate knowing their commander-in-chief just might not stand behind them if their actions become known. Their hesitation will lead to American deaths.
Feel free to insert jokes on your own about Erickson’s comically repressed homoeroticism in the comments. I’d make some here, but let’s be honest: Erick’s basically written them for us.
Loneoak said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:07
Two in a row?!
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:10
Of course, their *lack* of hesitation will lead to a bunch of foreign people being killed, but who gives a shit about that? The Norse person is scared of people darker than him!
El Cid said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:11
Maybe these guys do this semi-consciously because they are desperate for attention, and if that attention comes from the liberal-Islamohomomexican opposition, so be it.
gocart mozart said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:13
“jokes your own” What is this thing called “jokes your own” that rough men insert late at night and where exactly do they insert it?
Loneoak said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:13
Yes! Two first comments in a row. I can now die in happiness.
Sooo, Erik looks quite horny in that picture.
Bubba said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:17
Those Others- those fucking Others. Those Others are the ones what downed the Roman Empire, and they’re coming for us now. If rough men do not visit violence upon them, how can I sleep safe in my bed?
Better question: knowing that rough men are visiting violence with little discrimination, how can Erick sleep at all?
JakeInDK said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:20
Unspoken is the fact that the hypothetical scapegoating of IC personnel is only possible if the CinC authorizes and orders said torture.
Unacknowledged is the likelihood that Erik’s nickname ‘Red’ probably comes from the color of his butt after a few hours doing it Max Mosley style in the dungeon with his wrists taped to his ankles, begging Mistress Lindie to ‘call off the dogs… a little’.
Mooser said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:21
Those rough men might hesitate knowing their commander-in-chief just might not stand behind them if their actions become known.
Wonderful! That was exactly the effect I was hoping for. Okay, picture it; two cornfed sociopaths are waterboarding a brown-skinned man with a strong jaw-line. All of a sudden one of the interrogaters snaps to attention and shouts “Mr. President, sir!” The other one says “WTF?”
When the first torturer recovers his composure somewhat and is able to speak, he beckons his fellow “C’mon over on this side of the waterboard, where the light is different” The other guy does, and then blanches. “My God!” he croaks, “He looks just like Obama! What if they are related?”
From then on, they view their jobs in a different light, always looking over their shoulders, waiting for the axe to fall on their necks…
Yep, apart from the “rough trade” aspect, it is what I was hoping for.
HelenWheels said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:21
“Those rough men might hesitate knowing their commander-in-chief just might not stand behind them if their actions become known”
Fucking priceless. I know the sentence before it was funnier ha ha but this one has all the goods – “rough men,” “knowing (in the biblical sense?)” the threat that the CIC might not “stand behind” them (doing what?).
LOL… thanks for giving me my1st coffee spewage of the morning.
Joe Max said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:21
Mmmmm… rough men… in bed… visiting… mmmmm…
[Homer doughnut gargling sound...]
Total Dick-Head said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:24
Well this is more plagiarized (and misread) Orwell rather than repressed homo-eroticism – wait, who am I kidding? It’s both!
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgeorwe159448.html
“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. “
J— said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:28
Some like if rough and some sweaf when the heaf is on
Mooser said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:28
Maybe these guys do this semi-consciously because they are desperate for attention,
It is well known, and established by critical clinical studies, that they do it because when they played “doctor” as kids, they were always the “patient”. And the place it hurt still stings, sometimes.
A torturer is one thing, but torture-by-proxy should be available only by prescription. It’s the most powerful emetic known to man. Hmmm, maybe that’s why it doesn’t work on guys like Eric.
biff diggerence said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:29
Oooh.
There is a tiny demographic of white males, who mastubate whilst browsing the “cop gear” portion of the Cabelas catalogue.
Erick is here !!!
J— said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:33
Erick, dude, watch the movie all the way to the end. Col. Jessep ends up in the slammer.
cleek said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:35
Rough Boys !
jim said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:37
Eric seems to’ve spent quite a while on board the Viking ship, alone with all those other red-blooded, brawny, lusty, lonely warriors … tossed about together in cramped quarters by high seas … sharing EVERYTHING together … bonding in battle … ohh yeah.
It’s all good, dude – just make sure you wash your behalf off after Rrrrrrough-Man does his, ahem, “violence” all over it – I hear that stuff’s hell on delicate fabrics.
Crissa said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:39
Wait, what is he on about?
I’m pretty sure I sleep safe in my bed because of democracy and justice… Not because some guys in black helicopters get to pull random people from their beds while judges look the other way…
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:44
Erick, dude, watch the movie all the way to the end. Col. Jessep ends up in the slammer.
I’m so glad I didn’t have to say this.
I still regard that movie as the 24 before 24. A film where wingnuts completely miss the *point* of the film in favor of what the one guys yells as his rationalization for why he’s committing crimes, because he’s guarding that damned wall that keeps out the barbaric Cubans.
chocolatepie said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:46
Viking Jr. doesn’t tell you that he likes it rough because it scratches his itchy ‘roids.
Jennifer said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:48
Eric is right to be wetting himself in terror. Who can forget the horrible ordeal suffered by General J.C. Christian, himself no stranger to rough trade?
Aet said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:48
I like that he not only questions the left’s patriotism, but the patriotism of those he lauds. Notice how he can’t quite manage to do it in the same sentence.
MarkusR said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:48
Speaking of “24″, why do I have a feeling that in this season the bad guys are not “totally evil” anymore? What is Erick going to think when Jack Bauer decides NOT to torture someone for information?!?
Some Guy said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:50
Up next for Erik, “Waaaaah, Obama filled my bed with terror pee!”
Ripley said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:52
Fuck the troops, let’s hear it for the torturers and extraordinary renderers!
Ticker tape parades, monuments, bronze plaques, speeches!
And while we’re at it, let’s see if we can’t do something to remove the stigma of child molesters and sex offenders. I mean, really – who among us…???
Bitter Scribe said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:53
I’m starting to hate “24″ more than I’ve ever hated any show I’ve never seen. I tried to watch the premiere last night but gave up after the fourth cliche in five minutes.
Marco said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:55
I might buy these right wingers being tough guys if they…
A. Ever enlisted in any branch of the military
B. Didn’t look like they were one Big Bacon Classic away from gastric bypass surgery
I am sure they would succumb to waterboarding in a nanosecond as their taste buds would reject water as it is not a lime green and carbonated beverage.
Ass cramps, one and all of them.
Legalize said,
January 12, 2009 at 19:58
The real question:
Who would watch “24″ with an abundance of “Family Guy” DVDs floating about the market?
Sammy said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:02
Dick head (no offense),
Actually, I think that quote is more properly attributed to Winston Churchill – there’s a discussion of it on Wikipedia. The more proper version is “Those who ‘abjure’ violence can only do so because others are committing violence on their behalf,” but that was something he was writing about pacifists specifically.
And really, the irony of someone deliberately quoting Orwell in order to support torture is just beyond even the capacities of my ironyometer, and let me tell you, I’ve been fine tuning that motherfucker for years.
Itchy Brother said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:06
I’m not sure I would characterize Harriet Miers, Abu Gonzales, or Torture Yoo as rough men, but perhaps when Eric slips into his underoos at night, that’s how he thinks of them.
Ben Richards said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:12
This year’s season is different I tells ya! Tony Almeida is back from the dead as a villain. The govt. killed his wife and took everything he had in the earlier seasons after he worked selflessly for CTU. There are real world lessons to be had here. It’s called blowback people.
I was worried about a softer more morally torn Jack, but about half an hour in he nearly gouged a suspect’s eye out with a Bic pen and then insisted to his FBI handler that they would have to do things “his way” to find the bad guys. Pass the popcorn!
Erik W. said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:15
Maybe these guys do this semi-consciously
Much, if not most, political blogging doesn’t seem to involve any higher brain functions at all.
Jennifer said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:16
I’m beginning to find this imaginary Jack Bauer character to be almost as offensive as that other imaginary character, Joe the Plumber.
Jon Lester said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:21
See for yourself how Erick conducts himself as a Macon city council member, when he isn’t skipping out on his duties.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:36
Let me join the pile on those “rough men”:
Those rough men might hesitate knowing their commander-in-chief just might not stand behind them if their actions become known.
IOW, psychopathic sadistic torturers will no longer feel that they are above the law.
Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:38
Yes, I feel much safer in my bed knowing that Gen. Rifle Mike DeLong is now a multi-millionaire since planning the Iraq war. I feel even safer in my bed knowing that “The Dim” isn’t in it.
PeeJ said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:41
Oooh – look at those grossen Alpenhunden!
g said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:41
so he’s advocating FOR the kind of Disappearing people that occurred in South American dictatorships?
Erick von SitzPinkeler said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:42
Waaaa! Jack, I can’t sleep! Can I sleep in your bed?
Righteous Bubba said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:46
I fear for times of peace when these rough men become soft. Surely we should have a regime of rehearsal torture in place to ensure our readiness.
To this end I recommend the confiscation of cute puppies from moppets.
hel3my said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:48
I watched only the first season of “24″ — and don’t recall Jack torturing anybody at all. Unless I am misremembering.
When did the producers decide to “make a statement” or whatever they thought they were doing?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:48
Whoah. Let’s look at that again – hmmm, less than ten days to go (YAYYY!) What should Georgie do? I know, blanket pardon to all members of his administration who have engaged in the war on terror.
Fucking audacious or just batshit insane? … Why can’t it be both!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:53
And let’s be clear about this – Erick isn’t fantasizing about rough men who will visit violence on those who wish us harm. He’s fantasizing about rough men who will visit violence on those who wish us harm, but only if they can’t be held accountable for their actions.
i.e. He’s not hot for sadistic bad boys, just for sadistic bad boys who also happen to be gutless cowards.
abx said,
January 12, 2009 at 20:54
As we are At War, Obama will be a War President in a Time of War and therefore, can do whatever he wants.
Throwing his predecessors in jail is a sure sign to Terrorists Worldwide and All who Threaten Our Land — that Obama is one Tough Bastard willing even to stomp on his own.
The Toughest Man among Tough Men. So watch out.
javafascist said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:06
Ok, this is just freaky. I just checked in for my S,N fix and read this article when “Rough Boys” shows up in my shuffled iPod playlist. Too bad I have nothing witty to say as torture tends to make me all earnest and liberal and shit. The Dim one should go back to playing soldier with his Strike Force but I guess that’s not getting him off anymore. Somebody should warn him the double wetsuit thing has been done.
noen said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:06
test, oh and fuck you word press.
Anyway, Eric the Red Throbbing Bottom takes all the fun out of mocking his repressed homoeroticism. I hope this isn’t what the next eight years will be like. Throw us a bone here Eric!
PeeJ said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:12
Throw us a bone here Eric!
Not quite clear on the concept here, noen?
Lesley said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:17
Now that season 7 of 24 has started we can count on more icky sounds from the barely repressed rightwing male Jack Bauer erotica fan club.
Funniest of all in that excerpt is his self-important “This is precisely what I was blogging about the other day.” – well, and a big harumph! batchatcha boy!
Lesley said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:21
We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm. Those rough men might hesitate knowing their commander-in-chief just might not stand behind them if their actions become known
I’d like Joe the Plumber to get the “back story” on this, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:25
Speaking of watching the intelligence community collapse and American citizens die, didn’t that happen sometime around seven and a half years ago? Something about groupthink and “oops, everybody (except the DFH’s – ducking hippies) was wrong”. Seems to me that recent history has proven that having right-wing jack-off conservatives in charge of the Intelligence community leads to exactly the sort of fucked-up shit that Erickson’s pissing his panties about.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:26
Whoops, forgot the flirty. ducking flirty hippies. Please pretend I got it right the first time round.
Duros62 said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:32
The Norse person is scared of people darker than him!
That pretty much covers everybody, no?
mikey said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:33
Rough men.
Yeah.
I spent three days with a QRF at a Firebase southeast of An Loc in the Fall of 1970. Mostly just hanging around, smoking dope, playing catch, trying to get ahold of some new uniforms and gear.
But there was these three Belgians there. Contractors for somebody through SOG. All scars and rock hard muscle behind a weeks stubble and a cloud of cigarette smoke. Green fatigues, Browning Hi Power in a leather shoulder rig, Swedish K carried loosely in one hand. They were pleasant enough, although they didn’t say much.
But jeezus. The set of their mouth and the ice in their eyes, the menace they radiated, the sense that they just didn’t give a fuck if they killed you or not. I have never in my life, before or since, met men who frightened me just by BEING THERE. And I have never forgotten what that was like.
I think maybe Erick needs to meet some of these “hard men” he seems to admire and fetishize so much. I think his worldview would change in a single skipped heartbeat…
mikey
FlipYrWhig said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:36
I still defend _24_ on the grounds that while the idea of Jack Bauer has become a wingnut fantasy, the actual character isn’t quite like that…
The writers _do_ go this well way too often: “Who are you working for?” “I’ll tell you nothing.” “I’ll ask again, WHO are you WORKING for?” “Go to Hell.” [Jack takes out something pointy or burny] “You’ve got one last chance…” “OW! OK, OK, I’ll talk!”
But the show is also about how stressful and damaging it is to live life as Jack Bauer, who basically has had to cut himself off from all normal human intimacy in order to live his life of all-encompassing duty to the public. Basically, it sucks to be Jack Bauer, because he has to care only about strangers and never about loved ones (who all die or run away), and I have to think that’s a large part of the point.
And the swarthy terrorists — of which there have been sadly many on the show — are typically in league with some rogue element of the US government. That feeds right-wing anti-government notions, true, but also left-wing anti-government notions.
This season looks like it’s going to be about either the catastrophic results of well-intentioned neoliberal humanitarian intervention, or about what it would be like if a rogue state _were_ in league with stateless transnational terrorists. The former could be left or right; the latter is very Bush-Cheney-Laurie Mylroie.
PeeJ said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:38
As always, there’s lots more fun to be had in the comments:
For example, “peg” wonders
I’m to sign up over there just to troll the comments. Alas, I resolved to waste much less time on teh intertoobz machine this year.
noen said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:39
PeeJ – I meant to do that, honest.
Mr. Wonderful said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:41
Bubba frets:
“I fear for times of peace when these rough men become soft.”
Isn’t that not the problem? Isn’t the problem their becoming smooth? Cf. Alan Bennett: “My brother Esau is an hairy man. But I am a smooth man.”
Legalize said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:43
“I think maybe Erick needs to meet some of these “hard men” he seems to admire and fetishize so much. I think his worldview would change in a single skipped heartbeat…”
Unfortunately, if one of these fellows menaced someone like Erick, such fellow would be declared to be an unreasoned “liberal” who not only took away his free speech but who also engaged in typical liberal tactics of threats of physical violence. My friends in the military despise this sort of turd – no matter their political affiliations – all bluster, no action, no experience, excessively obsessed with defining the military as a “conservative” institution..
Lesley said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:45
Odd that you never see the wingnuts complain about these harmful fellas.
noen said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:45
Mikey – I don’t believe encountering those Belgians would change Eric’s world view at all. He’d just pee his pants, run away and then brag about how the manly men manhandled him. He’d need more tissue that’s for sure but it would only confirm his world view.
PeeJ said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:48
It’s also reassuring that the idjit whingers still haven’t learned to heed Sun Tzu’s very basic advice. Here, “birdmojo” gets the old chestnut going
Keep thinking that, whacko whingers, so if it ever comes to it, you can prove how stoopid you were all along.
Michael G. said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:49
Even if these men are pardoned, can’t Obama use his Unitarded Executrix powers to un-pardon them? Plus, you can’t question that decision with him being a war president, etc.
Oh this corner they’ve painted themselves into. It’s really beautiful.
LittlePig said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:53
Tee hee. I love it when they threaten a “revolution”. Who, pray tell, with fight in the revolution for these ball-less wonders?
PeeJ said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:55
Michael G., I am intrigued and wish to subscribe to your publication.
Really, should der Boosh commit the pardons, that’s pretty much the one sure thing to get the Bush Era Truth Commission fired up and into gear. But I like the idea of simply declaring them enemy combatants and tossing them into Gitmo, as is his right as defendercider in chiefytood.
Michael G. said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:55
I prefer when they threaten to go John Galt. I’ll be there to help them pack their bags.
Of course, the cowards threatening revolution is the classic “put the bell on the cat” problem.
LittlePig said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:56
can’t Obama use his Unitarded Executrix powers to un-pardon them?
Just like in “Cheney On The Roof”:
Renditioooooon! Rendition!
To Gitmo! Rendition!
Reditiooooooon! Rendition!
To Bagram! Rendition!
Der Kater said,
January 12, 2009 at 22:03
I love that musical.
(I’m sure I’ve heard Cheney snarling “tekeli-li, if you will…”)
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
January 12, 2009 at 22:10
Two threads in a row picturing wingnuts in funny headgear.
Methinks a theme beginneth, and I have a suggestion for the next one: a wingnut whackjob in a giant dildo hat. Note this picture would be appropriate for anything that any wingnut whackjob writes about. It would also be a nice Photoshop exercise.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
January 12, 2009 at 22:12
That pretty much covers everybody, no?
Yeah.
Pretty much explains everything, doesn’t it?
bago said,
January 12, 2009 at 22:49
I remember a LSD covered dildo helmet that was dubbed the deeqphor.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 12, 2009 at 22:59
Two threads in a row picturing wingnuts in funny headgear.
IT IS TO FUNNY FOREVER!
Thlayli said,
January 12, 2009 at 23:16
Erick, dude, watch the movie all the way to the end. Col. Jessep ends up in the slammer.
That’s a pretty good thumbnail definition of a wingnut, BTW — someone who watched that movie and thought Nicholson was the good guy.
neal peart said,
January 13, 2009 at 6:27
This reminds me of the Pete Towsend song “And I Moved”.
Glocksman said,
January 13, 2009 at 23:22
Pitiful, ain’t it?
Looks as if my own ‘Stroke Force’ logo is needed here.
http://glocksman.lrpctech.com/strokeforce.jpg
Warning: may not be safe for work.
Bina said,
January 14, 2009 at 19:18
Oh, how I wish a rough man would visit violence on Erick in the middle of the night.
Hell, I might even fork over a coupla bucks for the DVD…
lesserdevil said,
January 14, 2009 at 20:30
Really? Rough men? That’s not very subtle.
Look out everyone. Watch your comments. They may get you placed on Red State’s list of unfavorite people. And Red State is extremely important. Red State is the most important of the most important of all web sites named Red State. So sayeth Erick The Gay, and so sayeth Red State.
Kip W said,
January 18, 2009 at 5:57
What rough man, his hour come at last, slouches off to Gitmo to board someone?