Fizzy wine? Remind me not to drink the wine at Noel’s place.

That only works with cold Coke; warm Coke has already loosed its CO2, even with the cap on.

Ok, that is some seriously funny shit.

ORLY?

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/07/0715_040715_oceancarbon.html

BTW, what’s up with all the name-changing? First it was Retardo, now Clif. Who’s next? Will Brad become “Dexter Bodean Hornbuckle”?

Not that there’s much difference in quality…

Oh yeah:

Wingnuts will take whatever news supports their insane worldview, even if they were just denouncing it minutes before.

“So what if it’s written by a psychotic, it’s obviously more true than Al Gore’s opinion because it agrees with *me*!”

Oh, and PS. NOBODY THINKS THAT HUMAN BEINGS ARE DESCENDED FROM MONKEYS, EITHER!

Jesus God they explained this stuff to us in the fourth grade. And it fucking infuriates me that every time one of these B-arkers spews these same tired, stupid, missing-the-point nonsense, the first response is always to say, “well, you know, we don’t really know yet if it’s really getting warmer or colder” or “well, there’s a lot of proof that evolution exists.” Instead of just pointing out that they simply don’t understand what the fuck they’re talking about and explaining in simple, fourth-grade level terms (I got it, and so did every other twelve-year-old in my class, so it can, apparently, be done) exactly what it is they’ve gotten wrong and why, and then just keep repeating it and repeating it and repeating it until no reasoning person will ever take seriously anything they ever say again and we can all live happily ever after.

And this is my dream for the new year.

Where I am right now, I’d expect it to be about -5 Celsius at this time of year, maybe even dipping down close to -8 or -10 for a night-time low (last year it got down to an unusual extreme of -21 or so) … it’s +4, just like it was last evening, just like it was all night long … that’s very funny, but not in a haha kind of way.

December started out around +11, & stayed there for a week … & every winter now I keep wondering if one of these years I’m going to see the same crazy 20 degree bump in the summer – which I’m pretty sure would create a real boom economy for undertakers.

AHA! There ARE still penguins, smart guy.

(1) For various reasons
(2) teh buttocks
(3) For various reasons

It shall henceforth be ordered that all wingnuts will be required to keep all windows and doors shut during the summer. Because there is no such thing as the ‘Greenhouse Effect’ this will have no bearing on the temperature inside the house, and will also mean that the terrists will have no means in which to infiltrate their compounds and perform gay abortions. It is so ordered.

I think what he’s trying to say is that merely shoving our Cokes in the fridge is no longer enough to stem the tide of Evil CO2, and we must all switch to freezer storage, exploding cans be damned.

And, what the fucking fuck, the Al Gore Evil Movie of Lies CLEARLY stated that the melting of Greenland would fuck up the Gulf Stream, allowing arctic air to penetrate previously mild climes. Gazoogle confirms FIVE YEARS AGO.

There aren’t enough fuck-words in the dictionary to describe these fuckbags.