Jan
7

Oh, Would That It Were Not So!




Posted at 0:40 by HTML Mencken

Can’t you just feel the regret and sorrow of glennocidal tendencies thwarted — thwarted, I tell you! Alas…

Shorter Verbatim Debbie Schlussel:

I’ve concluded that the only way this war can be “won” is if most of the Palestinians in Gaza–and the so-called “West Bank,” too, where HAMAS has a lot of support–are decimated, which the world will never allow Israel to do, and which Livni and Barak (and Olmert) don’t have the guts to do.

Shorter Verbatim Patrick Bateman Tony Hadley of Spandau Ballet Stephen Green:

The only process towards peace is the kind of war one side can’t commit, and the other side won’t.

134 Comments »

  1. anonymous37 said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:45

    Fun pedantic fact — “decimate” means to kill a tenth of, so that sentence makes no sense on any level.

  2. Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:46

    It’s a damned shame to be living in such an enlightened age. Our founding fathers would be ashamed to let an opportunity like this slip by. Whatever happened to “winning is everything”? Are we not Americans!?

  3. HTML Mencken said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:46

    Well, yeah, but I know what she means, and you know what I mean… right?

  4. El Cid said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:47

    It’s truly bizarre, but apparently all other negotiated treaties ending wars, civil wars, rebellions, international disputes, and the like, have only been able to be conducted and concluded because the parties involved were totally the most admirable, peaceful, committed, honorable states and rebel groups etc. on Earth.

    It’s Israeli militarists’ pure misfortune that they check and find each and every representative of the Palestinians to be either insufficient, immoral, or terrorist.

    It’s almost like some people think negotiations are to be conducted by the parties in dispute, particularly when there’s, like, an illegal occupation or something, even when the parties don’t like each other and kill each other.

  5. MarkusR said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:49

    Fun pedantic fact — “decimate” means to kill a tenth of, so that sentence makes no sense on any level.

    Ah, the opposite of a tithe.

  6. Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:49

    Or you could just make light of the dead Palestinians and claim that a donkey killed in the attacks is worth more than the above mentioned dead Palestinians.

    Silly me, that’s almost nothing compared to what’s being posted at Atlas Shrugs. No, wait, it is actually worse. Gotta love LGF2.

  7. Another kiwi said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:49

    Never been a shortage of bloodthirsty hacks in this world, has there?

  8. Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:50

    Markus–rofl! Exactly. Apparently especially if you’re Mormon, I hear they insist on taking that exact 10%. More magic underwear production or something.

  9. Galactic Dustbin said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:53

    The only process towards peace is the kind of war one side can’t commit, and the other side won’t.

    I think I speak for all of us when I say: “What?!?!”

  10. D.N. Nation said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:55

    Just to make sure:

    Debbie Schlussel thinks it takes guts to call for genocide?

    Um, ok.

  11. woody, tokin librul said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:57

    Forp Yksmohc has observed on many occasions that the best thing about a ‘peace process’ is that as long as you’ve got a process, you don’t actually have to make peace…

  12. HTML Mencken said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:57

    Bateman means a total extermination which is what the Palestinians supposedly want to do but can’t and what the Israelis should do but won’t.

  13. Loneoak said,

    January 7, 2009 at 0:59

    Maybe she’s on to something here. Have you ever seen a graveyard? Very peaceful places. Or how about hiked in some desolate desert with few signs of life? No wars there.

  14. ahem said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:01

    the so-called “West Bank,” too

    Oh, K-Mart Coulter, try that in so-called East St Louis and sol-called North Augusta sometime.

    Shorter Glennocidalists: if only Israel could gas all the sand-n*gg*rs without it looking slightly inappropriate. We’d give them a free pass!

  15. Binkyboy said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:02

    I’d like a side of freedom fries with my order of fake blond nuts.

    Can’t have freedom without freeing the living from their temporary corporeal stasis.

  16. Jennifer said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:06

    The Aunschlussel strikes again. Israel should just annex the Palestinian territories, round up all the Palestinians and put them in ghettos or camps, restrict their rights and movements, and….oh wait. That is what they’ve been doing, and it hasn’t worked. No choice but the final solution, says Debbie.

  17. Galactic Dustbin said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:07

    Just to make sure:

    Debbie Schlussel thinks it takes guts to call for genocide?

    Um, ok.

    You bet it does! You know violent the Liberal Nazis get about teh genocide. The LZ’s will post unflatering pictures of her with photoshopped giant sandwiches, mock or even-GASP- point out logical or moral fallacies to pro-genocide arguments.

    I feel faint just thinking about what poor Debbie is going though!

  18. The Sphinx said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:09

    Calls for extermination of an entire people by a Jewish woman.

    Spot the irony.

  19. a different brad said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:10

    We need a new term for American Jews who think Zionism is too moderate. Neo-conservative works, but I want something along the lines of Chickenhawk. If only I knew Yiddish…

  20. g said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:10

    Wow, she’s really on to something. I can’t believe in the history of humankind that no one else has ever tried this novel idea of winning wars by trying to kill every single living being on the other side.

  21. Lesley said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:14

    which the world will never allow Israel to do, and which Livni and Barak (and Olmert) don’t have the guts to do

    Thank goodness for the world eh? Debbie is welcome to leave it any time she likes.

  22. slip said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:21

    If only I knew Yiddish…

    ??????? is a good all-purpose word.

    Schvantz ( fool, cock, prick, dick, asshole )

  23. a different brad said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:23

    Or there’s schmendrik, but I was thinking something more inventive. I dunno, the Kosher Klan or summin.

  24. TomMil said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:24

    Well it is a solution. A rather final one, at that.

  25. Nix said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:28

    YUMMY!!!

    I like how these Rightwing clowns are suggesting genocide and yet we Lefties are still the Nazis some how.

    Oh the joy they must feel and the pride knowing that their Bush cheerleading has exiled them to the fringe. Yet even now they can’t stop themselves from spewing craziness at every turn of the news cycle.

  26. Gentlewoman said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:28

    These people think they’re pundits when they’re actually Public Sociopaths. Who should be, at the very least, shunned.

    I’m old enough to remember when Public Sociopaths who screamed for genocide were not invited to opine on the telly or in columns with bylines (unless it was a publication by the John Birch Society or Teh National Review). If you saw them on the news it was clips of them shrieking and gibbering in the street outside of public buildings, accompanied by disgust and horror from passers-by and viewers. They also appeared occasionally on the editorial page of the local paper in the form of rambling and revolting letters to the editor which often served as a wake-up call to those relatives who had not realized how deranged Grannie or Uncle Ned had actually become and perhaps it was time to Do Something.

    But then, I’m old enough to remember wearing a hat and gloves to church. No, I did not get there on a dinosaur.

    I feel certain that tonight I will have nightmares about living in the same apartment building as Debbie Schussel. Since it’s bad enough sharing the planet with her, I don’t believe there are enough drugs in the world…

  27. slip said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:29

    Kosher Klan… How about Kashres Komande?

  28. tigrismus said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:30

    Holy fuck. If there were such a thing as a just God such people would choke on their own foul tongues

  29. Loneoak said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:34

    Just out of curiosity, what about “West Bank” is “so-called”? Isn’t, you know, the west bank of the Jordan River? It seems that Kosher Klan thinks the Palestinians are such non-people that the places that they mostly live in have become non-places and cannot actually have a name. It’s an interesting metaphysics, and a really terrible ethics.

  30. TomMil said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:35

    A diff Brad;

    How about “The Mossadumb”

  31. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:42

    The only process towards peace is the kind of war one side can’t commit, and the other side won’t.
    I think I speak for all of us when I say: “What?!?!”

    I think she means a dance-off, like in Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo.

    Oh, please, let her mean a dance-off.

  32. Sensible Moderate™³²®© said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:45

    You bet it does! You know violent the Liberal Nazis get about teh genocide.

    It’s so silly. The right screams about something, the left screams about something.

    Lots of genocide? No genocide?

    Obviously, the answer is some genocide. Just the right amount.

    (and so on for torture, spying on citizens without a warrant, etc. etc.)
    /sensible moderate

  33. maya said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:45

    I’m surprised Debbie doesn’t call on the IDF to get it all get it all over with and buried before Dubya officially leaves office in 14 days. That way he could exit on an upbeat.

  34. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:47

    Nitpick: Wikipedia does not support the characterization of Tony Hadley as a mass-murdering maniac.

  35. Tommmcatt said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:50

    So, is the United States the side that can’t or the side that won’t? Because neither position shows us in a particularly good light, if you think about it….

  36. HTML Mencken said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:52

    Nitpick:

    AIIIIEEEEEEEE–

    [Breaking glass]

    [THUD]

  37. Lesley said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:52

    TomMil said,
    Well it is a solution. A rather final one, at that.

    From Debbie’s thread

    To quote you: “While I want Israel to beat HAMAS, there is only one way to do so–total annihilation of the Palestinians, who are all HAMAS.”

    Hmmm…. this sounds oddly familiar. Total annihilation? Is that like a ‘Final Solution’? How quickly people forget.

  38. Bordo said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:53

    FASTER, PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL!

  39. Lesley said,

    January 7, 2009 at 1:57

    Most bizarre commenter over there

    Too many self hating Jews in power in Israel. You can never make peace with an enemy (HAMAS) who’s only goal is the complete destruction of the Jewish State. Definitely see another Hezbollah debacle coming soon. Hamas will declare victory & Israel will once again look like the paper tiger who doesn’t have the guts to finish the job. A miracle is needed for Israel to survive another 10 years. Soon Iran will have Nukes and it will be a whole new ballgame for the civilized world to function in a normal way. It seems very crazy that the Western Countries all choose to commit suicide instead of fighting with honor & dignity. Very Sad.

    Posted by: Juggler at January 6, 2009 06:16 AM

    Not juggling with a full deck, evidently.

  40. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:00

    It seems very crazy that the Western Countries all choose to commit suicide instead of fighting with honor Cheetos & dignity fear-mongering. Very Sad.

    Fixed!

  41. Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:01

    Calls for extermination of an entire people by a Jewish woman.

    Spot the irony.

    Hey there Sphinxy! Um, yeah. Actually it’s rather a cacophany of irony if you look at the whole range of anti-Muslim bloggers out there. Hmmm…Pamela Geller lost almost entire family in the Holocaust. Robert Spencer lost family in Turkey. Ditto over at the IBA in terms of the Jewish posters. I don’t know about Daniel Pipes, perhaps lost family when he morphed into Ming the Merciless?

    Don’t know, at least Schlussel tries to actually write about her genocidal tendencies instead of simply posting the more pathetic “YAY! They’re all DEAD!! Kill em all” shite that’s coming out of LGF 2, and just think, I haven’t even checked “The Jawa Report”. Those guys must be foaming at the mouth by now.

    I just need to stay here safely at Sadly, No! where people aren’t cheering for dead Gazans. Make me stay and enjoy the wingnuttery from here…..I can’t take the idiocy anymore….

  42. Lesley said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:01

    I am wrong. Mr. Juggles comes in second place.

    There is only one way for “peace in the Middle East”. Choose a side (Israel), arm it to the teeth, and them to the teeth and let them destroy the other side. There can only be one side left when all is said and done. In my view, as long as there are Palestinians alive, the western world will not be safe. This is not genocide, this is survival. They want to kill all Americans, and all Jews (and what’s left of Christian Europeans), so they have set the groundrules of this war. The only way to win, is to rid the earth of these animals.

    I doubt Israel has the nerve to go this far, which makes this an unwinnable war.
    Posted by: ramrod at January 6, 2009 01:07 AM

    “Ramrod” snort. Another Stroke Force member?

  43. Legalize said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:02

    What did Patrick Bateman every do to hurt anyone?! Sure, “Arrested Development” got canceled but I don’t think we can really blame that on him. “Teen Wolf” and “Howard the Duck” weren’t great but everyone makes mistakes.

  44. Mr. Wonderful said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:03

    “We need a new term for American Jews who think Zionism is too moderate. Neo-conservative works, but I want something along the lines of Chickenhawk. If only I knew Yiddish…”

    Meshuganah. It’s a noun. Crazy person. (Meshugeh is the adjective.)

    Gentlewoman–

    Pre-zactly. As I said a couple weeks ago, what until the Internet would have arrived written in crayon on paper bags to the editorial offices of some magazine now arrives online, looking as “official” and “published” as anything else.

  45. Liz212 said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:08

    If the contest is still open, I’m voting for Schmuck Troopers. But really, what they’re advocating is what I believe moderate/liberal Israelis might call Sharonism, (after the always-militant Ariel Sharon), so American Sharonists could be the non-snark term.

  46. mikey said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:10

    The only process towards peace is the kind of war one side can’t commit, and the other side won’t.

    Oh really. I have yet to see any restraint on the part of the Israelis, nor any indication that the world might actually stand up and say “that’s pretty much enough war crimes and crimes against humanity for one little country to commit – time to take a time out”.

    Firing tank rounds and dropping 2000 pound bombs in densely packed residential communities full of women and children you have systematically starved, with a non-functional municipal infrastructure is to me, an indication that precisely the opposite is in effect.

    Israel IS committing genocide, collective punishment and plenty of other war crimes, without restraint nor without significant complaint from the rest of the world.

    If this can honestly be a justifiable response to the firing of tiny, homebuilt unaimed rockets that have killed twenty people in a decade, then there is no credible basis to call what we have become “civilization”.

    It is a shameful, appalling horror, the worst and most obvious case of government sponsored terrorism in the world today, and the American Government’s response is sickening…

    mikey

  47. a different brad said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:24

    The only problem with Schmuck Troopers is schmuck means “big dick”. Schmendrik Troopers would fit better, but leave too many lost. There’s always Kowardly Kosher Klan, or maybe diasporahawks.

  48. Till said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:25

    Nitpick: Wikipedia does not support the characterization of Tony Hadley as a mass-murdering maniac.

    Yeah, but you have to be pretty fucked up to name your band after such a boring part of Berlin. It’s twinned with Boca Raton, for godsakes.

  49. tigrismus said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:28

    -You can never make peace with an enemy (HAMAS) who’s only goal is the complete destruction of the Jewish State

    -There is only one way for “peace in the Middle East”. Choose a side (Israel), arm it to the teeth, and them to the teeth and let them destroy the other side. There can only be one side left when all is said and done.

    So, the Palestinians are bad because they want to completely destroy the other side, but Israel is right to want to completely destroy the other side?
    Somebody linked an Orwell quote the other day that suits these folks down to the ground: “All nationalists have the power of not seeing resemblances between similar sets of facts. A British Tory will defend self-determination in Europe and oppose it in India with no feeling of inconsistency. Actions are held to be good or bad, not on their own merits, but according to who does them, and there is almost no kind of outrage – torture, the use of hostages, forced labour, mass deportations, imprisonment without trial, forgery, assassination, the bombing of civilians – which does not change its moral colour when it is committed by ‘our’ side.”

  50. Liz212 said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:37

    “Big dick” kind of fits with my idea that most wars are just violent measuring contests, with tiny men overcompensating for their lack of size by acting like they have the Biggest Penis in the History of Penises. Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney are probable examples.

  51. dumpendebat said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:40

    Why does the Costco Coulter always write “HAMAS” in LOUD, SHOUTING CAPITAL LETTERS? She doesn’t write “HEZBOLLAH” or “FATAH.”

  52. mikey said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:04

    #

    dumpendebat said,

    January 7, 2009 at 2:40 (kill)

    Why does the Costco Coulter always write “HAMAS” in LOUD, SHOUTING CAPITAL LETTERS? She doesn’t write “HEZBOLLAH” or “FATAH.”

    Perhaps she thinks it’s an acronym:

    Hell’s Army – Muslims Are Shit

    Or something…

    mikey

  53. Jennifer said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:17

    OT, but, you know, I just remembered another reason why Senator Al Franken will be TEH AWESUM. From his book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, “I Meet Former First Lady Barbara Bush and It Doesn’t Go Well”:

    …That’s why I was thrilled when I found myself on a flight from Houston to Washington, D.C., sitting across from our former First Lady. It was January of 2000, just a week or two before the primary season was beginning, and this would be my chance to charm her.

    I was flying first class because I had just given one of my hilarious and well-received corporate speeches. Mrs. Bush had a window seat, so I was sitting directly across from a Secret Service man, who checked me out when I stood up to say hi. I gave him a smile that said, “Don’t worry, I’m all right.” See, I consider myself a people person, and I know how to handle myself. Anyway, I guess I checked out because he let me lean in and say, “Excuse me, Mrs. Bush. My name is Al Franken and I’m a friend of Dana Carvey’s.”

    “Oh. Well, Dana’s a good man.” Yes, Dana is. Dana had done the hilarious, if at times somewhat unflattering, impression of Bush Sr. on Saturday Night Live. Quite generously, the Bushes had invited Dana to the White House after the 1992 election, and I knew they had gotten along famously. See? People person.

    “I’ll bet Dana misses my husband,” she said with a wry smile.

    “Yes, but I’m sure he’s working on your son,” I responded jauntily.

    Her smile disappeared. “Well, I don’t know of any characteristics he has that anyone could possibly make fun of.”

    As it so happens, I had found a small Dubya quirk and decided it might be fun to show it to his mother. I was sure she’d get a kick out of it. “Well, when he laughs sometimes, his shoulders go up and down like this.” Then I did my little impression: Dubya laughing, “heh, heh, heh,” his shoulders shooting up and down.

    Her face darkened noticeably. “I’ve never seen him do that.”

    “Well, I’m sure Dana will do it better. And, of course, it’s going to be a very valuable impression,” I said. That lightened the moment. So much so, that I made what was, in retrospect, an unwise decision. I decided to kid. “You know, until November.”

    A scowl flashed across her face. And, dismissing me with an imperious wave of her hand, she issued a stern “Well, I’m through with you!”

    It was so over the top, I was convinced she was kidding.

    “Oh, c’mon, I’m a Democrat,” I said, all in good fun.

    “I gathered that. And I’m through with you!” Another wave of the hand…

    I have to think that the words “Senator Al Franken” really stick in Barbara Bush’s craw (and she’s got a really big one), and that can’t be other than a good thing.

  54. WereBear said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:24

    I understand Dubya is considered the child who most takes after his mother.

    Uh huh.

  55. Tehanu said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:26

    We need a new term for American Jews who think Zionism is too moderate. Neo-conservative works, but I want something along the lines of Chickenhawk. If only I knew Yiddish…

    How about Schmaltzwankers?

  56. Mentis Fugit said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:27

    We need a new term for American Jews who think Zionism is too moderate. Neo-conservative works, but I want something along the lines of Chickenhawk. If only I knew Yiddish…

    Who needs Yiddish?

    Masadabators.

  57. mikey said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:28

    Jennifer, are you taking the position you have unequivocal data regarding the size of Barbara Bush’s craw?

    Have you SEEN her craw?

    From how close?

    Anything else we should know about you and her? Does she go around with her craw out? Are you one to examine the craw of perfect strangers?

    Uh, you don’t, um, like have any PHOTOS, do you?

    mikey

  58. Arky said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:31

    Fuck it, I can’t follow Mentis Fugit.

  59. Jennifer said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:35

    Have you SEEN her craw?

    From how close?

    Well, when the rest of the package is supersized, you gotta figure the craw is as well.

  60. Mentis Fugit said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:38

    Arky said,

    Fuck it, I can’t follow Mentis Fugit.

    It’s the miasma of flatulence I trail behind me isn’t it?

  61. Bitter Scribe, the sexy, blonde, and beautiful commentator, said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:42

    Oh, give Debbie a break. The literal meaning of “decimate” is to reduce a population by 10%. So maybe that’s what she wants done–shoot every randomly selected tenth Palestinian in the head. That’s reasonable, isn’t it?

    Heck, if you asked her nicely, she’d probably even make an exception for children under 10.

  62. Jennifer said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:42

    Mencken’s so smokin’ that I almost hesitate to bring this up, but here’s a jewel from little Megan:

    That argument could be made, and perhaps should be made, just as well about financial and regulatory infrastructure. Though I’m not sure that there is any way to prevent 70-year events like the current mess, there are nonetheless decisions that seem lunatic, in retrospect. Why were Goldman, et al, allowed to lever up 30-to-1? Why, for that matter, did they want to? Well, because if you’ve gone for a long time without any problems, all you can see about the safeguards is that they’re costing you money.

    The problem is that it simply won’t do to say that we ought to be institutionally risk averse. All of these arguments could be applied just as well to gay marriage or abortion law or universal health care, if you lean that way–it’s no good just saying that it hasn’t hurt Sweden, because the deluge might still await.

    Apres les faggots, le deluge!!!

  63. Simba B said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:45

    Megan’s so cute when she pretends she knows what all those words mean.

    Aw hell, all those people who use that detached econo-speak always struck me as sub-par intellects trying to sound smart.

    In other words, libertarians.

  64. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:47

    The Craw?

  65. a different brad said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:48

    Masadabators wins, yes.

    Jennifer, that’s a good example of why I’m both happy and sad I started FMM. I’m not going to lack for material, not this year.

  66. Another kiwi said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:49

    Zut Alors les lez’s

  67. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:52

    The Claw?

  68. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:58

    Righteous Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:52

    The Claw?

    P.S.
    R.I.P., Ron Asheton.

  69. Simba B said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:00

    70-year events like the current mess

    This language, this passive voice here, is exactly why I loathe economists of a certain stripe and libertarians who try to imitate them.

    This is how these fuckwits get away with this shit, is because so deeply embedded in the language that they use to discuss it is a disclaimer of all responsibility for their stupidity. And it’s just that much harder to call them out on it.

  70. bago said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:05

    Barbra Bush Craw. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  71. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:07

    All of these arguments could be applied just as well to gay marriage or abortion law or universal health care, if you lean that way–it’s no good just saying that it hasn’t hurt Sweden, because the deluge might still await.

    And this is the kind of thing that really gets up my nose … it seems to be a common libertarian affliction, applying principles where they really obviously don’t apply, in a playing-dumb sort of way (though they might be actually dumb), usually in order to try to brush off being caught in some big lie or contradiction.

    Srsly. Gay marriage might hurt society as much as unrestrained looting by financial companies, it just hasn’t yet? That’s just rampaging idiocy.

  72. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:12

    This is how these fuckwits get away with this shit, is because so deeply embedded in the language that they use to discuss it is a disclaimer of all responsibility for their stupidity.

    Yup. Another one I keep hearing lately, in the context of walking back the disaster with the Big 3 automakers, is that “the market demanded bigger cars and SUVs.” This is usually spoken by industry flacks, and always accepted unquestioningly.

    How exactly does the market demand things? Do people go to the showroom, notice a disappointing lack of ugly fuel-gobbling pigmobiles, and write to the car companies asking for them? I think not! That construction is a total misrepresentation of how commerce works, and it’s gospel. Argh.

  73. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:14

    That Megan thing is beyond the pale.

  74. Matt T. said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:23

    Righteous Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:52

    The Claw?

    No, no. The Claw. Son.

  75. Matt T. said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:26

    Righteous Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 3:52

    The Claw?

    No, no. The Claw. Son.

  76. Edmund Schluessel said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:28

    How about “Meshuggestapo”?

  77. digamma said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:28

    Calling the government of Israel cowards makes you “pro-Israel”. Saying you’re concerned that this operation will make Israel less safe in the long term makes you “anti-Israel”.

  78. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:31

    How about “Meshuggestapo”?

    HA! Beautiful.

  79. Malignant Bouffant said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:31

    That Megan thing is beyond the pale.

    Are you referring to Megatron herself as an objectified thing, you sexist pig, or just her latest spew as a thing?

    Either way, they’re both beyond the pale.

    And The Craw. We used to have hours (well, it seemed like, but it couldn’t have been) of reefer-inspired amusement in college saying “Not craw, craw!” to each other. Thanks for the (troubling) memories.

  80. Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:32

    I understand Dubya is considered the child who most takes after his mother.

    Nonsense, Bar’s gaffes are well spoken diatribes against those who aren’t as wealthy as her whereas, well, W just can’t even say “nuclear”.

  81. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:32

    If that Whistle Test vid is from 1979 Ron Asheton isn’t there.

  82. Malignant Bouffant said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:45

    From Schluss:

    And again, Israel neither has the guts to do this, nor the ability to do so with its unfortunate dependence upon America and the international community.

    Well, why doesn’t Israel stand up for itself, stop depending on AmeriKKKa & “the international community” (thought they all hated Israel & spent all their spare time condemning the Israelis for their war crimes) make some money for themselves & buy enough weapons to get the job done?

    Or what about those nukes Israel “doesn’t” have? Can’t they use those on the Palestinians who are “all HAMAS?”

    At this point, maybe we should be taking up a collection to ship the Snack Cake to Israel & run her for premier on the Extermination Party ticket.

  83. Matt T. said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:46

    No, no. The Claw. Son.

  84. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:49

    If that Whistle Test vid is from 1979 Ron Asheton isn’t there.

    I know, I just liked that version. You don’t always get what you want on youtube.

  85. MzNicky said,

    January 7, 2009 at 4:55

    I understand Dubya is considered the child who most takes after his mother.

    I think this impression comes from Al Franken as well. Seems like in one of his books he says W got his meanness from his momma.

  86. Malignant Bouffant said,

    January 7, 2009 at 5:11

    Well, G,. W. certainly didn’t get his meanness from Poppy, who I’ve heard recently on the radio discussing Jeb, & how swell it would be if he were President or a Senator. Poppy sounds like Mr. Fucking Rogers. It may just be old age testosterone depletion, but I’m thinking Babs relieved most of the men in her family of their testosterone production facilities long ago.

    Bitch.

  87. anarchore said,

    January 7, 2009 at 5:27

    You Zionist BASTARDS!

    Come back here, I’ll bite your nose off!

  88. Lesley said,

    January 7, 2009 at 5:27

    Seems like in one of his books he says W got his meanness from his momma.

    I’m picturing a younger Barbara (difficult, but possible) out by the back pond teaching little George how to blow up frogs.

  89. Lesley said,

    January 7, 2009 at 5:29

    Poppy, who I’ve heard recently on the radio discussing Jeb, & how swell it would be if he were President or a Senator

    George W ruined any other Bush’s chances of becoming president for the next ten thousand years. At least I hope he has.

  90. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    January 7, 2009 at 5:32

    At least I hope he has.

    If he hasn’t, we truly are the kind of country that deserves a Bush at the helm.

  91. Dan Someone said,

    January 7, 2009 at 5:41

    The literal meaning of “decimate” is to reduce a population by 10%. So maybe that’s what she wants done–shoot every randomly selected tenth Palestinian in the head. That’s reasonable, isn’t it?

    Well, what she actually said was

    the only way this war can be “won” is if most of the Palestinians in Gaza–and the so-called “West Bank,” too, where HAMAS has a lot of support–are decimated

    So i guess that means she’s advocating killing a tenth of each individual Palestinian — or at least most of them. Which I guess means chopping off a couple of hands or something. Would you do that by height, body weight, volume, or what?

  92. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 7, 2009 at 5:49

    The confluence (heh heh) of “most of the Palestinians” with “decimated” indicates that bargain-basement Coulter does not know the definition of the word.

    But it sounds like annihilate, so close enough for rightwing rabble-garble.

  93. lobbey said,

    January 7, 2009 at 6:13

    I’m old enough to remember when Public Sociopaths who screamed for genocide were not invited to opine on the telly or in columns with bylines

    Gentlewoman, I’m with you on that, and it is one of the curses on the internets. Pre internet days, nutters like this were reduced to selling poorly worded panphlets and railways stations, while the general public ignored them. Now they can spout venom from the conform of there won room, while naked, sipping a mai thai!!!!

    Loneoak, re the ‘so called’ west bank, the true believers refer to it as Judea & Samaria, or some such thing. paraphrasing a friend of mine (while discussing Corwallian freedom); “If your basing your political views on a 2000+ year old book, then its time to take a long, hard look at yourself.

  94. mikey said,

    January 7, 2009 at 6:20

    On the other hand, there IS something to be said for killing people who scare you or piss you off.

    Simplifies shit, dontcha know…

    mikey

  95. Kingsley Amis said,

    January 7, 2009 at 6:37

    Decimate

    Decimation was a form of collective punishment in the Roman army, whereby every tenth man in a mutinous or demoralised party of soldiers was executed, so to decimate in English was used to mean “destroy a small but noticeable part of”. Most people would say they know some of that, and yet that useful word has been irreversibly corrupted into just one more synonym for “damage beyond repair, virtually destroy”, but with the advantage of looking rather classy and learned. Not to be used even in the original sense on grounds of ambiguity.

  96. Rosie the Plummer said,

    January 7, 2009 at 6:50

    Totally off topic I know, but you guys do realize your asses are totally getting whupped by a PUMA blog in the Weblog awards? http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-liberal-blog/ So sad.

  97. Malignant Bouffant said,

    January 7, 2009 at 6:55

    Thank you, Mr. Amis. Quite informative.

    How’s that after-life working out for ya?

  98. tensor said,

    January 7, 2009 at 6:58

    C.mon, if there’s one belief we humans have held dear throughout our recorded history, it’s not in god or money or whatever — it’s in killing. Killing will solve all of our problems. All we need do is to find the correct people, and kill them. All of them. (If we leave any alive, that’s just more killing we’ll have to do later.) Sure, we’ll argue long and hard over who the right people are, and how best to kill them, but these are just details.

    Of course, some losers claim we could find other solutions to our problems. We should kill them first, just to be sure.

  99. Malignant Bouffant said,

    January 7, 2009 at 7:05

    tensor’s got it. Killer apes, no more, no less.

    Speaking of these web log awards, the categories in which sites are placed seem arbitrary. Wonkette & S,N! may be “liberal” but the funny is what brings me. And why’s TBogg in humor but S,N! is in “lib?” Or something.

    That & previous bitter resentful comments concerning the nominating committee aside, provide a link & I’ll follow & click whatever I’m told, every 24 hrs.

  100. Lesley said,

    January 7, 2009 at 7:18

    Now that I’m clued in to the meaning and origin of “decimate”, I gladly volunteer to decimate most of Debbie SchtrokeForsel, starting with the parts that wag, blather and type.

  101. anarchore said,

    January 7, 2009 at 7:19

    Zionist BASTARDS!!!!

    I hate you!!!!

  102. Lesley said,

    January 7, 2009 at 7:20

    “most of” should be in quotes.

  103. scott said,

    January 7, 2009 at 7:28

    Another total psychotic meltdown.You’re on a roll Toots-if I was there I’d give you a thrilling slap on the ass to show you my appreciation-then you could fetch me a Beer.You’d enjoy that-I’m quite certain.

  104. ahem said,

    January 7, 2009 at 8:08

    Perhaps she thinks it’s an acronym:

    FWIW, Hamas is an acronym. Sorta. But only wingnuts do the all-caps thing.

    Seems like in one of his books he says W got his meanness from his momma.

    I believe the quote (mentioned by Molly Ivins, too) was along the lines of “that woman knows how to hate”. The speaker? Dick Nixon.

  105. Brandi said,

    January 7, 2009 at 8:46

    I’m picturing a younger Barbara (difficult, but possible)

    She was surprisingly good-looking once upon a time.

  106. Juggs magazine said,

    January 7, 2009 at 9:42

    Good looking Pish! Have ya seen the Hot Sarah Palin 2009 Calendar
    Hubba Hubba she could decimate some HAMAS’s with that shottie.

  107. lobbey said,

    January 7, 2009 at 10:47

    Juggs,

    you bastard, I was expecting some soft core porn, but its just a tame old calender.

    However, i was intrigued by the “Ronald Regan Laughs CD” those sick rethug bastards.

  108. bago said,

    January 7, 2009 at 12:23

    But I’m more than just a little curious
    How you’re plannin’ to go about makin’ your amends
    To the dead

    Just curious.

  109. Gag Halfrunt said,

    January 7, 2009 at 12:53

    @mikey:

    Perhaps she thinks it’s an acronym:

    Hell’s Army – Muslims Are Shit

    In fact, Hamas is an acronym.

    Hamas is an acronym of the Arabic phrase ???? ???????? ?????????, or Harakat al-Muq?wama al-Isl?miyya or “Islamic Resistance Movement”. In Arabic the word “Ham?s” translates roughly to “enthusiasm, zeal, élan, or fighting spirit”.

  110. Lex (Agent of Chaos) Azagthoth said,

    January 7, 2009 at 14:39

    Holy young Bar….it’s like a young W in drag. WEEEEIIIIRRRRRRD

  111. WereBear said,

    January 7, 2009 at 14:40

    I’m picturing a younger Barbara (difficult, but possible)

    She was surprisingly good-looking once upon a time.

    Brandi, wow, thanks for that.

    It is surprising.

    Ya know, if they didn’t have all that money, they’d be completely miserable, I imagine.

  112. Major Kong said,

    January 7, 2009 at 14:53

    Richard Nixon supposedly said this about Barbara Bush:

    “I like her. She really knows how to hate.”

  113. Till said,

    January 7, 2009 at 15:30

    Totally off topic I know, but you guys do realize your asses are totally getting whupped by a PUMA blog in the Weblog awards?

    And since when is Wonkette a “liberal blog”? Pfft.

  114. MzNicky said,

    January 7, 2009 at 15:46

    Al Franken, quoted at Democratic Underground 9/03:

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104×261404

    “I kept hearing things like ‘Oh no, she’s a horrible bitch.’ ‘Omigod, she’s the worst bitch on earth.’ ‘She can be very charming, but Barbara Bush is the Queen Bitch.’

    “Understand. This was absolutely universal. And not always said in an unadmiring way. ‘She’s the enforcer.’ ‘Barbara’s the tough one.’ ‘She’s mean, but she keeps everyone in line.’

    “But another, even more interesting insight came from everyone who knew the Bushes. They all agreed. ‘Dubya is her son.’ He’s mean…It’s because he’s his mother’s son. I think he’s mean. I think we’re all too ready to blame Karl Rove or Dick Cheney, or Ari Fleischer or Donald Rumsfeld or John Ashcroft when this administration does something despicable…But it’s really Bush.”

  115. MzNicky said,

    January 7, 2009 at 15:47

    Till: Wonkette has been a “liberal” blog as long as I can remember.

  116. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 7, 2009 at 16:20

    Wonkette is at war with the PUMAs.

    It’s lots of fun, because only one side thinks it’s funny.

  117. Kingsley Amis said,

    January 7, 2009 at 16:25

    How’s that after-life working out for ya?

    Eh, can’t complain. Except Harold Pinter’s just showed up and he keeps throwing peanuts at me.

  118. kiki said,

    January 7, 2009 at 16:37

    How about “Meshuggestapo”?

    “Meshugenazis”?

  119. chocolatepie said,

    January 7, 2009 at 16:59

    But really, what they’re advocating is what I believe moderate/liberal Israelis might call Sharonism, (after the always-militant Ariel Sharon), so American Sharonists could be the non-snark term.

    Ooh my little angry ones, angry ones.
    When you gonna give me some time, Sharonists?
    Ooh you make the children run, the children run.
    Gun ‘em comin’ off the line Sharonists
    Never gonna stop, shoot it up.
    Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
    of bloodthirsty kind. My my my i yi woo. M-M-M-My Sharonists…

  120. Scott de B. said,

    January 7, 2009 at 17:55

    Fun pedantic fact — “decimate” means to kill a tenth of, so that sentence makes no sense on any level.

    The Romans were actually not entirely sure of this. Etymologically, “decimate” should, in theory, mean to leave a tenth remaining. Some Roman historians reported that the practice of decimation originally meant 9/10 of a unit disobeying orders was killed, but that that was later changed to 1/10, as a more merciful approach. This is probably made up after the fact, but is worth pointing out.

  121. Duros62 said,

    January 7, 2009 at 20:39

    Killing will solve all of our problems. All we need do is to find the correct people, and kill them. All of them. (If we leave any alive, that’s just more killing we’ll have to do later.) Sure, we’ll argue long and hard over who the right people are, and how best to kill them, but these are just details.

    Baron Munchausen: What’s this?
    Vulcan: Oh, this is our prototype. RX, uh, Intercontinental, radar-sneaky, multi-warheaded nuclear missile.
    Baron Munchausen: Ah! What does it do?
    Vulcan: Do? Kills the enemy.
    Baron Munchausen: All the enemy?
    Vulcan: Aye, all of them. All their wives, and all their children, and all their sheep, and all their cattle, and all their cats and dogs. All of them. All of them gone for good.
    Sally: That’s horrible.
    Vulcan: Ahh. Well, you see, the advantage is you don’t have to see one single one of them die. You just sit comfortably thousands of miles away from the battlefield and simply press the button.
    Berthold: Well, where’s the fun in that?

  122. Duros62 said,

    January 7, 2009 at 21:18

    ‘She’s mean, but she keeps everyone in line.’

    What, kinda like Saddam Hussein?

  123. Djur said,

    January 7, 2009 at 21:56

    I really don’t see why liberals take the Weblog Awards seriously. They’re run by Wizbang, right? Wasn’t Sadly’s main competition last year for Humor, uh, those hydrocephalics at IMAO and some imbecile who made cartoons making fun of DU posters in between bouts of harassing a guy dying of cancer with accusations of fraud?

    And now this year you have the fucking Effluence in the running for “Best Liberal Blog?” Heh.

    PUMA HAKA!!!!!! ROAR!!!!

  124. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    January 7, 2009 at 21:58

    I really don’t see why liberals take the Weblog Awards seriously.

    Yeah. I keep forgetting about them, even when I’m being reminded to VOTE! EVERY! DAY!

    It was hard to choose between DUmmie Funnies’ cancer-patient harrassment and the Fred Thompson Facts guys, for sure.

  125. jim said,

    January 7, 2009 at 22:14

    The “when in doubt, wipe them out” school of foreign-affairs.
    Way to go, Schlussel – BRILLIANT idea.
    Martin Bormann would be so proud!

    Yeah, slaughter Palestinians in the West Bank … because that’s the only place on Earth they ever live … it’s not like there’s any Palestinian diaspora that might be a mite irate at having their entire family / neighbourhood obliterated or anything.

    Barbara Bush? Personally, I prefer not to have my beautiful mind sullied by such awful things.

  126. actor212 said,

    January 7, 2009 at 22:21

    Vote for Simply Left Behind in the Weblog Awards

    Sorry…couldn’t resist. :-D

  127. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 7, 2009 at 22:24

    I saw that Claw Matt!

    I spent an afternoon going through Jerry Reed videos a while back so I’ve seen both of those and I approve.

  128. MzNicky said,

    January 7, 2009 at 23:34

    Blog awards, schmlog awards. Here, this’ll put things in perspective: Tennessee Guerilla Women won a Koufax award a few years ago. Of course that was when =ahem= I was with them, and before they all turned into insane PUMAs.

    So in conclusion, perhaps blog awards are indeed like hemorrhoids: Sooner or later every a*hole gets one.

  129. actor212 said,

    January 8, 2009 at 0:31

    So in conclusion, perhaps blog awards are indeed like hemorrhoids: Sooner or later every a*hole gets one.

    Oh, I already got one!

    Hemmorhoid, I mean.

  130. MzNicky said,

    January 8, 2009 at 4:08

    You misspelled “hemorrhoid.”

  131. actor212 said,

    January 8, 2009 at 4:43

    /:-|

  132. A.W. Merrick said,

    January 8, 2009 at 9:00

    From “Never Again!” to “Well, just this once…!”

  133. mrgumby2u said,

    January 8, 2009 at 20:21

    Please note that the Stephen Green quoted is the asshole Stephen Green, and not the decent but little noted liberal blogger.

  134. Torie Millhouse said,

    July 4, 2011 at 11:40

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