Aug
8
8
“The Scoffers”
Now, I will pray you home along with a full church membership where I attend. All of you as of this night are on our prayer list. We are praying you home. [...] Will you save your family? Will you save yourselves? [...] Love, Marie Jon’
MFB said,
August 8, 2005 at 12:58
“Heaven for climate, Hell for company.”
Jim Donahue said,
August 8, 2005 at 14:39
The art is from a Chick tract, right?
Those are hysterically funny (and, yes, more than a little scary) even without rejiggering!
Go here: http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp
Hysterical Woman said,
August 8, 2005 at 15:04
Looks like you guys are having a great time in Hell. Say hello to Gandhi for me.
Father Tyme said,
August 8, 2005 at 15:25
They can pass these out to children but Fahrenheit 9/11 was given an “R” rating! Freepocrits!
disappointed said,
August 8, 2005 at 16:29
Hey, what’s the deal here? Who is this hussy you guys keep talking about now? We want AMBER!
mdhatter said,
August 8, 2005 at 17:17
Nice tagline, Alternately: your traffic might just go up.
Yosef said,
August 8, 2005 at 17:25
“”Heaven for climate, Hell for company.”"
The Mark Twain quotes just keep on coming!
About the cartoon – that’s pretty much what I figured anyway.
VKW said,
August 8, 2005 at 17:46
I want the job being the angel who opens the Book of Life and points out the obvious to God! It’s kinda like Vanna White’s old job. “If your name is in the Book, you could compete to win FABULOUS PRIZES!!!
VKW said,
August 8, 2005 at 17:48
Such a good post! I want to add that I admire Satan for wearing a pumpkin on his head. Most evil entities have an exaggerated sense of dignity — I mean, I don’t think we’re gonna see bin Laden make a video wearing a pumpkin head for Hallowe’en or anything.
mdhatter said,
August 8, 2005 at 18:29
VKW
I’d pay to see it though.
Brad R. said,
August 8, 2005 at 18:38
OK, this needs to be a regular feature.
Pinko Punko said,
August 8, 2005 at 19:19
THis is a goldmine. My soul left my body when I saw the little cat say “meow, I quit” or some such thing. GIVE US MORE! WE MUST HAVE IT!!
tps12 said,
August 8, 2005 at 19:30
Time. Hands. Too much.
Gavin M. said,
August 8, 2005 at 20:04
There’s plenty of time on your hands…in the eternal fires of Hell.
yagi said,
August 8, 2005 at 20:06
On a recent flight, I noticed that a Chick tract was left in the bathroom on each of my visits. They were in the bathroom. They were made of paper. I disposed of them responsibly.
Brad R. said,
August 8, 2005 at 20:15
On a recent flight, I noticed that a Chick tract was left in the bathroom on each of my visits. They were in the bathroom. They were made of paper. I disposed of them responsibly.
Well, seeing how many people sneak into plane bathroom stalls to have sex, that’s probably a good place for them…
Mal de mer said,
August 8, 2005 at 20:16
Ooh, ooh….when you get a “cease and desist” notice from Chick’s lawyer (which he does when someone uses the actual art of his drawings to satirise them), make sure you post it, and we can have a Chick fight. The Marie Jon thing is slumping a bit…although it can flare up at any time, if MJ so chooses.
VKW said,
August 8, 2005 at 20:17
Dial-up connections only for BLOGGERS IN HELL!!!
Gavin M. said,
August 8, 2005 at 20:35
Satire for noncommercial purposes = Jack Chick might as well try to ‘cease and desist’ the sun from rising.
Besides, all the best lawyers since Hammurabi are here in Hell…
Mal de mer said,
August 8, 2005 at 21:25
Oh, I agree…but that won’t stop him from trying. Post it in case you do get one. It will be ever so much fun.
…or maybe not, when I think of it. All of my “cease and desist” orders are numbingly dull; same format, same legalese, same “if do persist on prancing naked on your front lawn, my client will be forced…”, etc. etc. Snoozers.
Yosef said,
August 8, 2005 at 21:45
Maybe Chick will get the MG Law Firm to take care of the Cease and Desist.
Brad R. said,
August 8, 2005 at 21:52
Maybe Chick will get the MG Law Firm to take care of the Cease and Desist.
Hey don’t mess with the MG Law Firm! Those fuckers are SHARKS!
Mal de mer said,
August 8, 2005 at 22:16
Yeah, but they do a lot of work pro bono. I use them all the time, and I’ve never been sent a bill.
Marq said,
August 8, 2005 at 23:39
Um, so it’s OK for Christians to toss around the “fuck”s as long as they have it being voiced by cartoon Satan? Yeah, and that’s some omniscience displayed by gawd there-”Wead to me, wittwe winger angew. I’m feewing wazy.” Slightly OT, what does gawd need angels for, anyway, if he’s all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-seeing? He’s obviously not all-doing, in any case. Was there a full-angel-employment act or something?
s.z. said,
August 8, 2005 at 23:41
It’s sad when the prayers of a good woman can’t save scoffing bloggers from being killed by a pumpkin-headed Satan and sent to hell. I guess Marie just didn’t have enough faith.
Hysterical Woman said,
August 9, 2005 at 0:57
S.Z., I don’t think Marie was trying to save them…
MisterLovegrove said,
August 9, 2005 at 2:31
yeah, the whole “angels” thing has always kinda messed with my head and it’s one of the other reasons i went from being a seminary student to being a drunken agnostic
I’ve got questions for which no kool-aid drinking, bible thumping winger can seem to come up with a good answer.
All they ever give me are these nasty little bits of circular (if not downright recursive) crap.
because, i mean, if heaven is so perfect and flawless and the angels are basically GAWWWWWD’s abjects, than what reason would Satan/Lucifer/Sammael have had to rebel?
If GAWWWWD’s ultimate plan for creation was to destroy most of it anyway, then why not just skip the rest of the formalities of the whole apocalypse and wipe the slate to the degree of clean he seems bent on. otherwise, he’s wasting our time and his
Is Judas Iscariot in Hell? If scripture had it from the beginning that someone had to betray jesus, then wasn’t he screwed from the word “go?”
ohhh, i’ve got more, but you know what i mean.
i’m tired of being told i have to take such paradoxical noise “on faith”
I really am
Brad R. said,
August 9, 2005 at 3:18
I don’t see why he’d object to a 24/7 webcam on him. You know, just so we can see exactly how sexually upright, so to speak, he is.
If you wanna look at Ben’s late-night sessions with Ann Coulter pictures, be my guest ;-)
Pinko Punko said,
August 9, 2005 at 3:27
My friend pointed me to this classic tract, that of course had the lawyers sicced on it- yours was funnier, but this one is close, and as I said totally classic. The spam filter hates this link, so just take the space out of geo cities and you have the linky.
http://www.geo cities.com/tribhis/cthulhutract.html
Also, Monday Goldberg Theatre is up. It’s not that funny, except Santorum’s eyes look extra googley at one point as if the Flying Spaghetti monster was totally f*cking with him.
http://3bulls.blogspot.com/2005/08/monday-goldberg-theatre.html
Marq said,
August 9, 2005 at 10:31
It’s amusing; Gawd sez, “Yes, Heaven is to my right.”
Of course, He is, in fact, pointing to His LEFT. It’s sad when Jehova doesn’t know one hand from the other. Gulp, indeed.
Kate said,
August 9, 2005 at 17:09
I have a complete set of Chick Tracts (for fun, not for serious) and I must say, that was a fairly convincing parody.
kei & yuri said,
August 9, 2005 at 18:42
One of the best Chick tract parody sites is still Psycho Dave’s WierdCrap.com, which relies on computer-generated knockoff copies and not direct scans of Chick art because Chick’s lawyers (who are, ironically, demons) went after him and nearly got him fired. So yeah it’s all fun and games until the crossworshippers without sense of humor show up. If you’re not a lawyer yourself and certain you are above their harassment tactics, you might want to be more careful.
Gavin M. said,
August 9, 2005 at 20:30
Of course, He is, in fact, pointing to His LEFT. It’s sad when Jehova doesn’t know one hand from the other. Gulp, indeed.
Ah, but when God was pointing the other way, with the panel flipped L/R, the continuity into the next panel didn’t work.
You’re assuming the graphics were used unaltered. Look at the original and see how different some of the panels are…
VKW said,
August 9, 2005 at 20:39
“Gawd sez, “Yes, Heaven is to my right.”
Of course, He is, in fact, pointing to His LEFT. It’s sad when Jehova doesn’t know one hand from the other. Gulp, indeed.”
Oh, He knows…God loves to give recently dead people logical paradoxes to work with…”Everything God says to you is a lie, including this statement. Explain in 5 words or less.” Or, “Here are two angels. One always lies, the other always tells the truth. You can ask only one of them the way to Heaven, and you can only ask one question to get this information. Good luck, SINNER!”
Gavin M. said,
August 9, 2005 at 20:45
If you’re not a lawyer yourself and certain you are above their harassment tactics, you might want to be more careful.
The first thing they have to do is to ask us please not to use the art, as they did with the guy you mentioned. Then they have to say, ‘We asked you not to use the art, and you kept on using it anyway.’ And so on.
I’ll bring it up with Seb, but if they don’t ask, how do we know they don’t LIKE the parody? Etc.
MJ said,
August 23, 2005 at 19:25
Thought Of The Day
Marie Jon’ :)
Patriotic Americans will never understand the far left. One would have to take a crash coarse on Socialism Communism , Marxism and self loathing! They generally have no godly belief systems that is worthy of the one and only true God. These people are very complex. There is no one word used to describe them.
However lets look at Cindy Sheehan and her fellow travelers. Welcome to MichaelMoore.com! There one can get a clue and begin to understand that the enemy is not just Islamic extremist terrorists that America has to worry about and contend with! In the Web link above all will get a slight insight of these misguided people that are growing in leaps and bounds. Our schools and collages help to produce them daily along with bad parenting skills. They truly are part of the gifts of liberalism.
All good Americans can do is to pray and hope for the SECOND COMING OF CHRIST to happen soon.
Maranatha!
I can spell said,
August 25, 2005 at 20:53
What does a collection of images on poster board have to do with misguiding people? Oh you were talking about College? See when you educate people about history and science they tend to think for themselves instead of following the lambs to the slaughter. Keep thinking that an outdated book of fairy tales is the right way to live your life. If you want to believe that George W. Bush is a cowboy and not a spoiled Ivy League brat from Connecticut you go ahead and do that.
We are just going to wait for the day that something bad happens to your family and you realize just how much the government cares about Patriots.