Then again, who knows what it would take to make wittle Benji’s crank turn? Probably a sexy madonna figure would fire both of his neurons at the same time.

Then, when he hits his tenth anniversary at age 32 he can have the triple dilemma of divorce, adultry or losing his fucking mind. That should make for some interesting nationally syndicated columns.

“D&D Book of Erotic Fantasy”.
I would so love to tell you I’m making this up. Let’s put it this way. They have spells like “Impotency” and “Cursed Orgasm” and “Find a Soulmate”.
There’s a URL, but tragically, the site is under construction.

Hey, the friend of mine who gets the most action out of anyone I know is a HUGE D&D nerd. Owns pretty much every book ever printed and plays upwards of four games a weekend, and still manages to get absolute loads of ass. We gamers do alright for ourselves. (Plus, experienced D&D players, on a roll of 19-20, have a +10 chance to hit with Leomund’s Rapturous Orgasm. S’true, I swear.)

Actually, smart parents demand that their children share a room with a Dungeons and Dragons nerd (gender is irrelevant). It’s a lot harder to get it on when your roomate never leaves the house.

My problem with Ben Shapiro isn’t that he’s a virgin, it’s that smirk. That “yeah, I’ve got a column and you don’t whatcha gonna do about it? Huh? Huh?” smirk that makes you want to smack that ego to its proper size.

Honestly, people like this are the hardest to make shut up and go away. You praise them and hope they’ll shut up, their egos get bigger. You mock them and tell them to shut up, they feel persecuted and therefore important, and their egos get bigger. You completely ignore them, and they accuse you of not recognizing how important they are. And their egos get bigger, somehow.

Face it, even in “monogamous” marriage you are only as safe as your partner is trustworthy. We are all human (except for gentle ben), subject to temptation, and prone (literally) to following our baser instincts. Unless he spends 24/7 with his virginal when they wed spouse, how can he be sure her curiosity won’t get the better of her? And spending 24/7 with her would mean living off the dole or working out of his home as a telemarketer (moving to Bangalore?)

Batshit

Me too. Makes us easier to find, and hence throw parties with.

And Jack, beating off, as you call it, is so a public activity. As far as the wingnuts are concerned all sexual activity is public. Why else would they be interested in what we do in our once-private bedrooms?

Uh, at most schools, aren’t single sex dorms an option? No reason to “demand”, simply request.

Unless, of course, you want to be an asshole about it.

The word-choice here is telling–”children.” What a case of pathetically arrested development.

Absolutely!!! If you’re an alumni of a university that DOESN’T include traditional values, you should send your alumni money to a university you DIDN’T graduate from…..I guess?

Gee, you suppose this is Ben’s play to get the UCLA Alumni Foundation to quit calling?