Jan
2
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Shorter Roger L. Simon
Above: “…and here’s a new one I like to call ‘Fly, Self-Pitying Seagull.’”
Blacklisting Myself: Will the New York Times review my book and do I care?
- The New York Times won’t review my book, which is yet another data point confirming my general thesis about the fundamental intolerance of the Left that fears and loathes courageous dissenters like me.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Some Guy said,
January 2, 2009 at 15:07
For someone who claims to hate the LIEbrul MSM so much, he sure worries a lot about what they think of him.
dave said,
January 2, 2009 at 15:11
I can just imagine Roger as a kid, headed out the door of his parents house for the third time in a week with his belongings and a peanut butter sandwich in a sack on a stick over his shoulder, yelling at his parents; “You’ll be SORRY when I’m gone…”
Nimrod Gently said,
January 2, 2009 at 15:14
But it’s okay because he doesn’t CARE.
Rugosa said,
January 2, 2009 at 15:31
That’s a parody, right? Please tell me I’m right. No sentient being would publish such whining, self-pitying . . . oh, ok. It’s not a parody.
RvB said,
January 2, 2009 at 15:35
Curious. Unlike most right wing bloggers in the entertainment industry he actually made a good movie. So what is it, him and John Milius and…that’s about it, isn’t it?
fauxmaxbaer said,
January 2, 2009 at 15:36
If he gives Robert Farley a thousand bucks he’d probably review it.
Nimrod Gently said,
January 2, 2009 at 15:37
Well, Simon had Paul Mazursky in support on Enemies: A Love Story. And even that didn’t save Scenes from a Mall.
RvB said,
January 2, 2009 at 15:47
The Big Fix was pretty good at the time. Wonder what it looks like now…
MzNicky said,
January 2, 2009 at 16:14
What about the New York Times? Never mind that I have loathed the newspaper for the better part of a decade, what will they say about me?
Now that is the definition of “pathetic.” No wait: he doesn’t really care, he wants NYT to review it and say mean things so others will come to his defense. THAT’s the definition of pathetic.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 2, 2009 at 16:51
Blacklisting Myself: Memoir of a Hollywood Apostate in the Age of Terror
Clearly the terrorists have won.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
January 2, 2009 at 16:57
One of my relatives was blacklisted.
Simon is still getting paid, the self-important douchebag.
Caliph Garrett said,
January 2, 2009 at 17:00
Free the Pajamas One!!!1!11!
g said,
January 2, 2009 at 17:13
He’s like a teenaged girl, sitting at home eyeing the phone, all the while proclaiming that she really doesn’t care if she doesn’t go to the Prom.
The Cat said,
January 2, 2009 at 17:24
Mm. It’s rather asinine to equate a government-led witch hunt that made ludicrous allegations which destroyed the careers of good men, to oh-noes-people-think-I’m-a-douchebag. Also, I’m guessing you don’t have to look very far to find conservatives among Hollywood executives, y’know, the guys who actually have the power and the money and the studios.
Bina said,
January 2, 2009 at 17:47
Right. And he’s not a sentient being.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 2, 2009 at 18:38
And he’s not a sentient being.
He’s a Yoosta-Being!
forked tongue said,
January 2, 2009 at 18:49
I’m not clicking on that link, but I do wonder whether he refers to himself as themanwhocreatedMosesWine.
owlbear1 said,
January 2, 2009 at 19:16
Blacklisted?
Always the victim…
Hey Raji, did you ever think being a shill for mass murder, bigotry, and corruption snuffs out conversations?
fardels bear said,
January 2, 2009 at 19:30
Moses Whine?
jim said,
January 2, 2009 at 19:41
If he does to books what he does on the Interwebs, someone should be paying him NOT to be a “writer/screenwriter” … that was bloody painful albeit also unintentionally funny as well. Hates the NYT yet yearns for their attention? What a fascinating paradox!
Jesus, man, next time just get a jar of Crisco & a big ol’ fresh warm slab of beef liver, lube up, find a vein that your dick can enjoy, & knock yourself out … but not in public, okay?
A jewel of comforting wisdom from some wise old soul in the comments:
“Think Solzhenitsyn, & you’ll feel a lot happier.”
Irony is dead, my ass. That one basically pinned my Sick-Fuck-o-meter.
Simba B said,
January 2, 2009 at 19:45
I like the comment where someone compares his book to Master Doughbob’s. It’d be awesome if that was a subtle troll, but I doubt it.
Joe Max said,
January 2, 2009 at 20:04
What, don’t they have wingnut welfare any more? It used to be that the publisher would buy up their own books just to get on the NYT list. It worked for Pantload and mAnn, after all.
J.D. Rhoades said,
January 2, 2009 at 20:21
They didn’t review my damn books either, but you don’t see me whining about it.
Well, okay, you do, but only in private and only after a few drinks.
Tom said,
January 2, 2009 at 20:28
Yes, that was indeed one of the most pathetic whines I have ever read. Roger, if you want your stupid book reviewed by the Times then why don’t you send them a friggin’ copy, you stupid ass.
Me said,
January 2, 2009 at 20:36
So what is it, him and John Milius and…that’s about it, isn’t it?
Milius is undeniably talented, as long as it’s to do with blood and slaughter (he wrote the great monologue in “Jaws” where Robert Shaw talks about the wreck of the USS Indianapolis). Just look at his list of credits on imdb. The man simply cannot write anything that’s not drenched in blood. Which, come to think of it, is probably a lesson to other conservative screewriters: stick with what you know, and you’ll do fine.
Mr. Wonderful said,
January 2, 2009 at 20:37
I love this. IN THE AGE OF TERROR.
Future titles I intend to propose:
THREE HUNDRED LOW- OR NO-CALORIE EGG SALAD RECIPES IN THE AGE OF TERROR
“SIT, BUNKY!” THE INCREDIBLE AND AGGRAVATING STORY OF THE WORLD’S MOST ANNOYING COCKAPOO IN THE AGE OF TERROR
ANGELINA AND BRAD: A LOVE STORY IN (etc.)
Marco said,
January 2, 2009 at 20:54
“…I am going through the usual authorial paranoid mood swings. ” Roger L. Simon
Yup. Pretty much sums it up.
dex said,
January 2, 2009 at 21:34
will kate winslet return my 3 am phone calls and do i care?
will the denver nuggets draft me to play center and do i care?
will the bbc give me many monies to play the 11th doctor and do i care?
luneylegume said,
January 2, 2009 at 21:47
Swing Mood , Artie Shaw
Paranoid Authorial , “The Lost Soap Chronicles”
Roger L Simon , Bubbles , tiny bubbles
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 2, 2009 at 21:54
“SIT, BUNKY!” THE INCREDIBLE AND AGGRAVATING STORY OF THE WORLD’S MOST ANNOYING COCKAPOO IN THE AGE OF TERROR
I would so buy that.
It Is Not Unlike The Goddamn Batman's Relationship With The Catwoman, Only The New York Times Does Not Leave Bloody Scratches All Over Simon's Back, Probably said,
January 2, 2009 at 22:08
It’s like the Grey Lady is this ex-girlfriend of his that he always runs down when he’s talking to his drinking buddies, but it’s New Year’s Eve and the drinking buddies have plans with their wives or girlfriends and he’s alone and forgot that the liquor store closed early, and he brings up her number on his cellie and is hovering over the “Delete” button with one thumb and the “Call” button with the other. Oh, the dilemma.
And WhileThe Goddamn Batman Is On The Subject said,
January 2, 2009 at 22:10
…I miss Eartha.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 2, 2009 at 22:12
Eartha.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 2, 2009 at 22:43
Hee hee:
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 2, 2009 at 22:53
RB – Simon actually thinks he’s being ironic, doesn’t he? It is an amazing thing to see.
Anonymous said,
January 2, 2009 at 23:02
Wait. This is how he defends “Encounter” Publishing?
It’s kind of like getting a letter of recommendation from Mallard Fillmore.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 2, 2009 at 23:06
He’s no fuddy-duddy: he’s just bought the Perry Como box set.
nationalplumbingcode said,
January 3, 2009 at 0:37
…the esteemed Commentary magazine has bought first serialization rights (an excerpt from my chapter on Richard Pryor and the ‘baby moguls’)…
That bit makes me think “Ah, I _really_ wish the NYT would review this idiots book.” But then–ack, another paradox–I remember that the current NYT would probably give it a glowing review.
Just an aside: Ouch! That cover is nasty. It looks like a university press book that didn’t merit an outside designer and the in-house designer thought the author was a prick.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:13
“In the Age of Terror” may bump “For Great Justice” out of my lexicon.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:16
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret IN THE AGE OF TERROR
Smut Clyde said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:29
The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole IN THE AGE OF TERROR.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:31
The Best of Peanuts IN THE AGE OF TERROR
Smut Clyde said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:34
Les Essais de Montaigne IN THE AGE OF TERROR
Righteous Bubba said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:36
The Rules IN THE AGE OF TERROR
Righteous Bubba said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:37
Ooo! Ooo!
Everybody Poops IN THE AGE OF TERROR
tigrismus said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:41
Betty Crocker’s Cookbook: Everything You Need to Know to Cook IN THE AGE OF TERROR
Just Alison said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:48
The Liver-Cleansing Diet In The Age Of Terror.
Smut Clyde said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:49
On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life IN THE AGE OF TERROR.
Just Alison said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:50
Alas, Amazon shows that several writers have already beaten Righteous Bubba (and this Simon knobhead) to the punch.
Just Alison said,
January 3, 2009 at 3:52
The Terror Presidency IN THE AGE OF TERROR.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
January 3, 2009 at 5:15
Hop on Pop IN THE AGE OF TERROR!
Bina said,
January 3, 2009 at 5:22
Will Roger L. Simon ever write something I’d care to read, and do I care?
Tom said,
January 3, 2009 at 5:35
I think the best and most accurate thing Roger has ever written is that final sentence in response to my comment.
jim said,
January 3, 2009 at 6:01
How To Win Friends & Influence People IN THE AGE OF TERROR.
Caring For Your New Hamster IN THE AGE OF TERROR.
Green Eggs and Ham IN THE AGE OF TERROR.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 3, 2009 at 6:55
Don’t Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me IN THE AGE OF TERROR
actor212 said,
January 3, 2009 at 15:52
I would love to run a poll to see how long it will take Roger Hell to realize he’s a shitty writer and THAT’S why he’s not being reviewed.
I’ve locked down “death bed conversion”. Any takers?
mythago said,
January 3, 2009 at 20:51
Harry Potter and the AGE OF TERROR.
Tom said,
January 4, 2009 at 1:02
Knitting for Dummies IN THE AGE OF TERROR
SpongeBob’s Best Day Ever IN THE AGE OF TERROR
Smut Clyde said,
January 4, 2009 at 11:54
Gabriel García Márquez must be kicking himself for getting hung up on this “Time of Cholera” business and missing out on a really great title by that much.
Bitter Scribe said,
January 5, 2009 at 5:28
Jeebus. If self-pity were cornflakes, this guy would be Kellogg’s.
Objective Scrutator said,
January 5, 2009 at 6:51
Only in the right wing blogosphere is unwarranted self pity a useful tactic to get ahead.
Kip W said,
January 12, 2009 at 21:51
How to Remove Tough Trouser Stains IN THE AGE OF TERROR