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Eight Ways To Lose A Wife In Two Minutes
Dennis Prager gives eight reasons as to why his wife should have sex with him even when she doesn’t want to.
1. If we wait for her to get in the mood to do it with me, we could wait forever.
2. I work; she doesn’t.
3. When I feel like sex, only my feelings count.
4. She owes me sex because of all the things I do for her.
5. My feelings count more, even when she wants to have sex and I don’t.
6. If she doesn’t have sex with me, I’ll make her life miserable.
7. If she gives me sex whenever I want it, then once in a while I might engage in foreplay if I really feel like it.
8. Pretending to want to have sex with me will make her want to have sex with me.
UPDATE: Commenter “caliph garrett” wins the caption contest. The prize is, of course, a date with Dennis Prager.
Tara the antisocial social worker said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:04
You forgot the obligatory reminder: Dennis Prager’s been divorced. Twice.
Simba B said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:07
Caption—Prager and “wife”.
Whatever said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:08
I was trying to think of something snarky like “Hey, get a load of my wife, she looks just like a teenage boy” but then I thought, just a simple “Ewwwwww!!!!!” would suffice.
g said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:09
I thought you were joking, then I read the first two in his column.
So guy going to work = wife putting out. I guess that’s Prager’s view of womens’ place in society. Their job is to put out.
Ni-i-i-ice.
g said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:15
I like how he simultaneously argues that sex with one’s spouse is one of the greatest gifts two people can bestow upon one another as an expression of undying love…..and that it’s an obligation of the compact of marriage.
That and equating not being in the mood to have sex with not enjoying cleaning up baby poop. Women change their kids’ diapers even though poop is yucky, in the interests of the health of their child. So they should equally submit to sex with their husbands, since it’s just as gross as poopy diapers.
Some Guy said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:15
I hope Prager is married to a dental hygienist. That way she can wake him up at 1 in the morning for some sweet, sweet plaque removing and fluoridation. Mmmmmm yeah, baby.
I’m torn regarding the captions. Anything really funny would be based on the chick, and doesn’t she suffer enough being Prager’s RealDoll?
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:15
6. If she doesn’t have sex with me, I’ll make her life miserable.
While married, I found this actually worked. It’s called a “pity fuck”.
Dennis, I really don’t think you want to degrade your–
Oh. Too late.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:16
Oh. Caption:
“You have learned the ways of the Farce well, my young Padawan. You will never have sex with a lady.”
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:17
When I clicked the Prager link, a pop-up opened for Coulter’s new book. Any further reading about sex would have been impossible.
gbear said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:19
I don’t even have to guess that those ’shorter’ reasons are going to be exACTly accurate. Prager’s attitudes about sex could give his hand a headache.
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:19
Okay, I got over it.
Shorter Prager: my wife won’t sleep with me because of liberals.
Dennis Priapus said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:31
I would just like to remind you all that, mock my column as you may, sexual dysfunction and ultimately divorce are always the fault of the woman. Real conservative men like myself can never fail, we can only be failed.
Brian J said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:36
Here’s my suggestion for the caption:
Good for you for following these lists, son. If there’s one thing this country needs, it’s more lovers like Dennis Prager!
Willy said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:37
Wife? So that’s what he calls his hands nowadays…
N__B said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:42
6. If she doesn’t have sex with me, I’ll make her life miserable.
Too late, I’d guess.
Senator Ted said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:48
Caption – “Dennis’ classes on marital relations weren’t as well attended as he had hoped”.
Theron said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:51
I study Latin American history, and I know in the colonial period the Catholic Church used to promote the notion of a “débito conyugal” (conjugal obligation), the idea being that otherwise spouses would look outside the marriage for sex. I can only imagine what kind of conversations between priests and parishioners that entailed.
RodeoBob said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:54
There’s probably a homosexual innuendo for the caption involving my freshly-minted term “imPragernate” but that kid looks too nice to be tarred by that brush.
neddie jingo said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:56
Jesus Suppurating Christ — what part of “says a lot more about me than it says about you” does Prager not understand?
maya said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:56
” Prof. Prager unveils his new portable sperm receptacle.”
OneMan said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:59
Caption: “Dennis and his bonobo in a quiet moment.”
Dorothy said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:01
Two of my favorite Prager-bits:
1) He considers emotional damage from sexual abuse to be the same level of problem as feeling tired from a long day.
2) He thinks that men who are currently getting everything they want from their wives will be motivated to change their behavior. Either that, or he thinks women will believe this line of bull.
What world does he live in?
Mr. Wonderful said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:02
Only I will have the courage to ask what everyone is wondering:
Is that his wife? Or a teenage boy?
David said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:10
“No, your parents won’t be worried. We’ll send them a postcard from the airport.”
Smiling Mortician said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:16
Caption: Michael was such a handsome fellow. I think he had the broadest, most sincere smile I have ever seen.
Oh, wait. Wrong creepy lecherous old man. My bad.
Agi said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:17
I’ve managed to obtain exclusive video footage of Dennis Prager’s latest speaking event
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:17
“Dennis and his bonobo in a quiet moment.”
Bonobos around the world just cringed. Some infinite number are even typing a Shakespearean sonnet as we speak.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:21
Some infinite number are even typing a Shakespearean sonnet as we speak.
Which just raised a question in my mind: If it takes an infinite number of chimpanzees to type the complete works of Shakespeare, how many chimps would it take to recreate the entire right wing blogosph–
I think I just answered my own question. The answer is, “How many right wing bloggers are there?”
owlbear1 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:21
“Ownership has it’s privileges, young man.”
Smiling Mortician said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:22
Caption: Michael was such a handsome fellow. I think he had the broadest, most sincere smile I have ever seen.
Oh, wait. Wrong creepy lecherous old man. My bad.
FYWP.
Ken said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:24
“. . .an’ we’re going to go to the circus, and then to get ice cream, an’ then Mr. Prager is going to tell me what a ‘catamite’ is!”
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:27
Say, why does Annie Lennox have her arm wrapped around that fat old man?
thelogos said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:27
“Well, son. Sex, is like changing the oil. It’s dirty, messy, there’s some synthetic stuff which doesn’t work as well, and if you have a newer model, you need to get a professional to do it for $30.”
thelogos said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:27
PS.
I’m in the future byatchies!
Legalize said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:28
Caption:
“How ’bout me and this one, honey? What do you think? Too old?”
caliph garrett said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:28
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”
Son of Strom said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:31
Sadly No, he’s trying to put you out of business. His column reads like a brilliant parody of how a complete pig of a conservative would view sex. I pity his wife and anyone who has to come into contact with this jerk.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:31
*thup thup*
Is this thing on?
Legalize said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:32
Wait. The person in the pic with Prager is a woman?
*slowly backs away from the thread*
F.Jardim said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:32
“I’m not just a spokesman for ‘Trade-your-nagging-wife-for-Young-Tony-Blair’. I’m also a customer.”
StringonaStick said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:33
Some Guy said,
December 31, 2008 at 17:15
I hope Prager is married to a dental hygienist. That way she can wake him up at 1 in the morning for some sweet, sweet plaque removing and fluoridation. Mmmmmm yeah, baby.
Speaking as a dental hygienist, I would suggest a scaling and root planning (SRP), without benefit of local anesthetic. With very dull instruments, and a bad case of the shakes. By someone who works in the prison system.
As for a caption:
“didn’t Rush have to go to the Dominican Republic to get away with this?”
Drummer Hoff said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:34
Dennis Prager: Regularly denied sex, even of the non-romantic variety.
JK47 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:34
In Part I, I made the argument that any woman who is married to a good man and who wants a happy marriage ought to consent to at least some form of sexual relations as much as possible. (Men need to understand that intercourse should not necessarily be the goal of every sexual encounter.)
He will accept blowjobs if you don’t feel like letting his pasty white ass flop around on you. If you’re lucky you might be able to negotiate him down to wanking off to a Sarah Palin speech while you quietly read People magazine.
thelogos said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:35
Not to be all BAG-sy and analyze the photo…but look at the distance between the two in that “hug”, it’s like they are best buds and don’t want anyone to think they have Teh Ghey.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:36
Speaking as a dental hygienist, I would suggest a scaling and root planning (SRP), without benefit of local anesthetic. With very dull instruments, and a bad case of the shakes. By someone who works in the prison system.
Followed by an apicoectomy thru the chin. Using the slow speed drill, of course.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:36
OK. So my attempt had a linka non grata, apparently. One more time:
Caption: “Michael was such a handsome fellow. I think he had the broadest, most sincere smile I have ever seen.”
Oh, wait. Wrong creepy lecherous old man. My bad.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:38
(Men need to understand that intercourse should not necessarily be the goal of every sexual encounter.)
I didn’t bother to read the pieces, but I did wonder about the “Late Night Cinemax” rationalization for when the wife says, “Fuck you and the horse you came in on.”
This is it.
StringonaStick said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:39
Actor212, you speaka my language. And I assume you are assuming that no LA will be available for that apicoectomy either.
Nimrod Gently said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:39
Wow, what a cunt.
Legalize said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:39
Prager’s good deed for the day is reminding us that regular exercise is a very very very very very very very very very worthwhile investment.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:41
String, I spent more days in the chair at NYU Dent than my ex-girlfriend did.
Maybe that’s why she’s an ex.
I wouldn’t even give Prager a bib.
Sirius Lunacy said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:47
6. If she doesn’t have sex with me, I’ll make her life miserable.
“If her husband is a decent man — if he is not, nothing written here applies”
Rule 6 demonstrates that the husband is not a decent man therefore nothing written here applies.
Nothing written here applies…. Hmmm maybe that’s the caption
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 18:52
I thought Monty Python covered Dennis’ turf three decades ago:
DrDick said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:02
how many chimps would it take to recreate the entire right wing blogosph–sphere
1/2. Please do not insult chimps by comparing them to rightard bloggers. Chimps are sensitive and caring, as well as far more intelligent.
J.D. Rhoades said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:17
Jesus. That is the creepiest thing I’ve ever read. That poor woman.
Prager proves once again that “conservatism” has gone from being a debatable political philosophy to a transparent attempt to make being a selfish asshole look like some kind of moral code.
Dan Someone said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:20
This is actually kind of sad, isn’t it? I mean, Dennis has devoted two columns now to complaining that his wife won’t have sex with him. Like if he gets enough positive comments, he’ll go running in to her waving a printout and yelling, “Look, honey, the Intertubes agree with me! Now let’s get busy!”
Cangrejero said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:29
I would like to waive the five-year waiting period for the wingnut hall of fame for this piece, as it is simply too damn good.
Move over, bacon and play dough.
Me said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:31
“Not pictured: someone with a clue”.
The Goddamn Batman Should Be The Last Person On Earth To Suggest That Someone Else Is A Pederast, But What The Hell said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:33
“P.S. Don’t think that I treat my own wife this way; I treat her as if she’s an Eagle Scout and we’re sharing a tent a long, long way away from the rest of the troop.”
Ben Richards said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:35
“Son, women are complicated, like the Da Vinci code, except harder to crack.”
shortstop said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:36
So guy going to work = wife putting out. I guess that’s Prager’s view of womens’ place in society. Their job is to put out.
I took it as a brave admission that having sex with him had no recreational value whatsoever.
stryx said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:38
Someone buy that man a melon already.
Caption:
“This is why my AM1280 contract calls for unlimited supplies of Astroglide.”
James K. Polk, Esq. said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:52
Caption: Elections have consequences, Danny…
Wait, that’s a chick?
noen said,
December 31, 2008 at 19:56
Caption: “We’re here for the Pride parade.”
I know, I’m bad. I’m very bad and shall be going to hell.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:07
By the way, Clif et al, Pammiecakes has a brand new spanking piece up today, and IT’S ALL IN CAPS! mostly…
HP said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:10
Not a caption, but a prediction: In a few months, Prager will write another series of posts on how couples in troubled marriages can best avoid divorce. This will be followed shortly by a series of posts on why lesbianism is the greatest threat facing society today.
Doctorb said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:12
Really, what greater and purer form of love is there than to resentfully acquiesce to an annoying ordeal for someone you can barely stand to be around and who views you as a sex worker? That’s human dignity right there, it is.
Interrobang said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:14
Dear Mr. Prager,
Most jurisdictions made marital rape a felony at least ten years ago (!!). Please consult your local listings for details, and a dictionary to find the meaning of the word “consent.” (Perhaps you could explain, Mr. Prager, why you and so many of your ideological colleagues seem not to understand this fundamentally simple concept?)
No love, and a distinct lack of kisses,
?!
PS — Whining until your wife gets so worn down she lets you jerk off using her body is still not consent. Have a nice day!
noen said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:16
Actor, aren’t they all written in ALL CAPS!11011! ZMYG!
noen said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:20
BTW, that photo deserves a more fitting background. I think that’s a used car lot……. oh.
mikey said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:26
Chimps are sensitive and caring
Oh yeah? What about those Chimps in Bakersfield a few years ago that ripped off that dude’s nuts and one of his feet, then ate his face?
Nah, don’t trust the smelly little fuckers…
mikey
Oh! Happy new year!
tigrismus said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:27
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:28
HP said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:10
Followed shortly thereafter by a plea for the deciminalization of prostitution, or at least refugee status for “Dahlia”, a lovely young Bulgarian girl he
solicited thru an ad in the Village Voicechanced to meet on a Paris train.Arakasi said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:31
OK, what I’m getting from this is that if Prager’s wife is in the mood to screw his ass with a 12″ spiked strap-on, while he’s wearing a French maid’s uniform, then he has an obligation to consent.
Good to know
t4toby said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:31
Win.
Jon Gallagher said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:32
Shorter Dennis the P:
Her mouth may say “No”, but her eyes say, “Please unlock these handcuffs”.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:34
OK, what I’m getting from this is that if Prager’s wife is in the mood to screw his ass with a 12? spiked strap-on, while he’s wearing a French maid’s uniform, then he has an obligation to consent.
Fuck.
I just finished disinfecting my brain from Pammy’s tits…
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:34
Jon Gallagher said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:32
Excellently played!
MzNicky said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:52
If she doesn’t have sex with me, I’ll make her life miserable.
Could it possibly be that she doesn’t have sex with you because you make her life miserable?
Joe Max said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:00
Will someone please explain to me why there’s a photo of a drag queen in a Santa-girlie suit accompanying Prager’s article?
http://townhall.com/photos/view/most_viewed/1018/slideshow/95836f87-96f9-4fb3-8107-0175b2a19af7/
“Drag queen Miss Wendy poses on the Reguliersdwarsstraat in Amsterdam December 21, 2008. Amsterdam is hosting its first “Pink Christmas”. A gay Christmas market has also been set up, selling sex toys, underwear books and paintings. REUTERS/Michael Kooren (NETHERLANDS)”
What, is Prager holding up male gay femmes as the standard of how female hets should behave?
Now we know why he’s smiling with his arm around that cute little twink.
PeeJ said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:01
“Honey? Look what I got us for Xmas!”
Joe Max said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:06
Oh, you mean Objectivism? Been done.
PeeJ said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:06
One can never have too many gay underwear books. Nor gay underwear paintings.
That is, I can’t have too many.
Jacob Singer said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:13
Off-topic, but I just wanted to add that the “Goddamn Batman” titles get me every time. Always a slice of fried gold.
Marco said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:19
Sex with Prager is rape. No, prison rape.
funluvn said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:31
Mrs. Prager gives the camera a steamy “I’ll ride his shrunken prawn for money anytime” look…
PeeJ said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:31
It’s so sad. Dennis, even a bartender would tell you to shut up about how you’re not getting enough. But it’s also funny for exactly the same reason. As I think about it, and as I recall my years as a bartender, his list sounds exactly like what we’d hear from our most
patheticridiculous, deserving of scorn, loser customers. And they were generally louser tippers which I’m sure he is as well.Ripley said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:40
What’s scarier, to me (and probably quite a few American women, as well), is the potential number of mouth breathers who will print those columns out and put them on the refrigerator for their wives to read.
Though I eagerly await the Counterpoint columns from his ex-wives. I’m guessing there are some pretty good stories just waiting to be published for our enjoyment.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:40
“Now that I know there aren’t any pennies in your back pockets, Mr. Prager, you want me to try the front ones?”
WereBear said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:42
Just now, the google said:
And, you know, it’s hard to be snarky when one’s work is done for you…
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:43
Oh, you mean Objectivism? Been done.
That’s true. I think movement conservatism starts where Objectivism let off, and greatly magnified the role of whiny victimhood.
Like Abu Gonzales claiming that he’s a casualty in the War on Terror.
R. V. Dump said,
December 31, 2008 at 21:49
Caption: “Andy and Opie – together again.”
I think Hugh Hewitt would make a great Aunt Bea.
M. Bouffant said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:00
Escape Clause/Cop-Out:
Ah yes, the ever popular “It’s OK To Rape Your Wife If You’re A Fat Gray-Haired ‘Decent’ Anglo Fascist” exception.
But it’s not OK for indecent men not to rape their wives. I mean, I … who knows what, at this point?
PeeJ said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:01
I think movement conservatism starts…
Pet peeve. While conservatives are merely moronic, conservative movement is oxymoronic.
MzNicky said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:02
In a few months, Prager will write another series of posts on how couples in troubled marriages can best avoid divorce. This will be followed shortly by a series of posts on why lesbianism is the greatest threat facing society today.
Beautiful. Exactly.
Duros62 said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:03
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it right there Mr. Fancypants. That ain’t no moral family conservative values right there. I thought in Wingnuttia, intercourse for the purposes of mo’ bebes was the ONLY reason for intercourse.
…between a man and a woman.
.. not necessarily between a man and a guy you meet in the truck stop bathroom.
Oh, wait, I get it. One is for recreation. The other is for recreation.
Don’t really mater how he puts it, he’s still sleeping on the couch for the next couple of months.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:03
conservative movement is oxymoronic.
I agree – I only use the term because it’s what they call themselves.
lostmypassword said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:05
Good grief! Prager must be absolutely horrible in bed if he has to beg that much for sex from his own wife!
I bet he was the “smallest disappointment” of his womens’ life…
Tim (The Other One) said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:10
Good to see that Dennis is sticking to those salads.
kc said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:11
Look at the paunch on Prader. His wife probably couldn’t find his dick even if she wanted to.
Duros62 said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:12
Perhaps she doesn’t want to have sex with him because he has bigger tits than she does,
MzNicky said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:13
caption:
The Pragers at a local convenience store, just moments before Mrs. Prager pulled out a handgun and shot her husband six times in the groin. Mrs. Prager claims she “just snapped” after years of unspeakable humiliation and disappointment.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:23
conservative movement is oxymoronic
Unless it contains reference to the bowels of political thought.
M. Bouffant said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:27
Have Hewitt & Prager ever been seen in the same room together? A “Separated at Birth” deal, if ever.
Mentis Fugit said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:29
conservative movement is oxymoronic
“Conservative movement” sounds like something that results in the production of a very small turd.
Something not unlike, say, Prager’s column.
David said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:32
The look of terror in the little boy’s eyes is heart wrenching.
OneMan said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:33
“…Gonzales claiming that he’s a casualty in the War on Terror.”
The fuck?
What happened to The Party of Personal Responsibility? How does blaming it on John Yoo (may he suffer eternity standing, hooded, on a crate holding a wire in each hand) pass muster? Where was he when the federal prosecutors were being fired? Or, for that matter, interviewed and hired (may Monica Goodling suffer politics-based discrimination forEVER)?
Fucking Fredo is a casualty like Plaxico Burress is a casualty.
mikey said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:36
I’d just like to mention that I find it infinitely reassuring that there is a televised sporting event called “Skeleton”. It’s listed on Comcast, so it must be true.
Certainly, in the area of athletic competition, skin is vastly overrated….
mikey
mikey said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:37
…production of a very small turd.
Indeed, perhaps even a TINY one?
Man, that hits close to home…
mikey
Matt T. Spalding said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:40
Like Abu Gonzales claiming that he’s a casualty in the War on Terror.
Reckon there’s Young Republican pages whose sole job is helping rat-bastards like Gonzales get hit pants over his huge fuckin’ balls every morning? It’s fucking bad enough what the guy done for the past four years, but to piss and moan that no one likes him because of it is the hight of testicular obnoxiousness in my book.
In a fair world, this guy would walk while constantly covering his crotch. Man.
Matt T. said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:41
Hooray for Captain Spalding, hooray hooray hooray!
Drew said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:46
I think Dennis has lost weight.
I still think he is going for the “Daddy Bear” look.
Lesley said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:50
1. If I wait for her to get in the mood to do it with me, I WOULD wait forever.
Corrected. Let him own the rape he believes in; not be complicit in it.
M. Bouffant said,
December 31, 2008 at 22:58
DP & HH are competing to be as fat as Bill Bennett so the winner can get the coveted morning drive spot as soon as mackerel-snapper Bennett explodes from excess.
The morning spot on the Salem/Townhall Radio Nutwork, that is. Where, we suppose, the town hall meetings are to determine which witch to burn.
Lesley said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:05
I can envision a woman being married to a guy like Prager, being in the mood and saying no to him.
Prager assumes if his wife says no she’s not in the mood.
PeeJ said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:13
I just learned a new word which seems to apply precisely to Prager’s constant whining viz a viz his sex life. The word is perseveration. Note the bit about “cessation of stimulus.”
PeeJ said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:15
Oh poop. vis a vis.
sarah said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:23
good lord. first i was amused at his clumsy “men like sex; women don’t!” explanation of the world (i had no idea i was a man!) then i got irritated that childhood sexual abuse=just kinda not feeling like it. i was briefly amused when i started thinking about how much he’s telling the entire interwebs about his own relationship problems (WE GET IT. NEITHER OF YOUR WIVES LIKED TO FUCK YOU. I’D SAY WE’RE SORRY BUT I REALLY THINK YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF.) but ultimately, i’m just horrified at his justification for non-consensual spousal sexual interactions.
ugh. thanks for reminding all us single folks that it could be worse.
M. Bouffant said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:24
Viz.
M. Bouffant said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:26
“Lie back, think of England, & do your duty, ladies.”
Sexual colonialism from the Great Gray Patriarch.
Lesley said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:31
Definition of “Prager” (being submitted to urban dictionary as we speak) is roughly equivalent to “turn off”:
1. To affect with dislike, displeasure, or revulsion: This idea really turns me off.
2. To affect with boredom: His play turned the audience off.
3. To lose or cause to lose interest; withdraw: turning off.
4. To cease paying attention to: The student turned off the boring lecture.
JGabriel said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:32
I can think of no better caption than Prager’s first reason for a woman to have sex with her husband even though she’s not in the mood:
Jeepers.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything simultaneously so unintentionally revealing and unintentionally hilarious.
.
PeeJ said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:36
M. Bouffant @ 23:24:
Indeed.
bayville said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:36
Prager Part III: “Why wives who fake orgasms are Commie Lesbians?”
JGabriel said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:40
Bayville, get real. There’s no way Prager has enough experience to tell the difference between a real orgasm and a fake.
MzNicky said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:42
“When A Woman Isn’t In the Mood, Part II.” That title alone is just the most pathetic thing ever.
Hey, Dennis: When she’s not in the mood, LEAVE HER ALONE. Is it really that difficult to understand? GO AWAY. If she’s “not in the mood” for a MONTH, then perhaps YOU’RE the one with the problem, not HER. Just a thought.
PeeJ said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:44
Just a thought. Therein lies the crux of the problem. A thought is something DP has never had.
g said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:44
She’s in the mood, Dennis, just not for you.
ricardo said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:48
Caption:
Dennis Prager introduces his new office assistant, saying. “He’s going to help me research my next project: ‘Can A Conservative Learn to Love Teh Gays?’”
OneMan said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:48
“She’s in the mood, Dennis, just not for you.”
Oooh, that’s gonna leave a mark.
Another Kiwi said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:53
Caption: Y’know, Opie, women are like beer…or Creme de Menthe… or Melons.. or something. It’s not important. The important thing is to get paid for writing sanctimonious drivel that sounds like it was written by a misogynist Sportsman in the 1950’s.
Hey is that Michelle Malkin over there? Hubba hubba let’s buy her flowers, chicks like that shit.
fish said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:53
Caption:
Roofies is also 16 years old today. Purely coincidence.
bayville said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:55
I am not a woman.
But for the life of me, I can’t imagine why any woman – even his ex-wife(s) – would not jump at the chance to voluntarily have sex with a charming, overweight, humorless, middle-aged terd like Dennis Prager.
M. Bouffant said,
December 31, 2008 at 23:58
[pseudo-sincerity]Thanks again to Clif, who’s been holding down the Fortress of Sanity here single-handedly (tee-hee) since X-mess eve, except for Jillian’s New Yr. letter.
(Jillian, hope you are reading this & looking at our hideous mortal existence w/ a slightly improved feeling about it all!!)
The rest of the lazy bones staff, & all who pass through these gates, are wished a New & Improved Yr.[/pseudo-sincerity]
Perhaps. Also, the horse you rode in on. You betcha.
Another Kiwi said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:01
Well as one who is already in 2009 I would that they most surprising thing is the islamocommiefascist spaceships. I didn’t expect them!!!
Happy new year to all
FS said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:05
She’d better want sex – this Viagra doesn’t last forever!
bayville said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:09
Shorter Prager:
“Why I have to pay a thousand bucks for a $200 per hour whore.”
M. Bouffant said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:11
Huzzah for the free market!!
Lolly said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:13
Oh yeah? What about those Chimps in Bakersfield a few years ago that ripped off that dude’s nuts and one of his feet, then ate his face?
Living in Bakersfield will do that to you. Ever been through 3 weeks of 110+ degree heat? You’ll be bitin’ faces off too.
PeeJ said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:17
Damn kiwis! Always getting to do things before anyone else. The best I can do now is to be the second to welcome our new islahomofascistic overlords.
Lesley said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:21
Does Prager put out when he’s not in the mood?
jurassicpork said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:23
Think how much better and more different the world would’ve been if Barack Obama and not John McCain had won the presidency in 2008. At least, that’s the scenario of a speculative fiction author in the future.
Lesley said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:26
Let me add I can’t imagine a woman finding Prager attractive. I mean, you’ve got to have something charming about you and since Prager isn’t blessed in the looks dept – and he isn’t in shape (that gut!) – he’s relying mostly on his personality, which…ugh.
A Different Speculative Fiction Author said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:29
It is not going to happen, liberals. Your echo chamber is reverberating now with your shouts of victory before you’ve won a single state. I almost feel badly for you, because when McCain wins &c.
JGabriel said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:34
Lesley@0:21:
Does Prager put out when he’s not in the mood?
Dennis Prager:
Apparently not.
.
jim said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:37
“What’s that? YOU want to pay ME in order NOT to fool around? Hmm … how much?”
Assumes he’s not ALREADY GOING THERE NOW – a dubious premise at best. Might be a ticket to a good-bye fuck, right after she’s finished packing – BOOYAH!
As has already been noted, Prager is engaging in some of the most obvious trolling EVAR in an attempt to get links from feminist blogs – a textbook case of Attention Whore Syndrome – & sadly, it has an excellent chance of succeeding. This is some of the most naked “Say Stupid Shit To Piss Off Teh Librulz” tripe I’ve seen in a while – someone needs to tell him how much progressives HATE self-inflicted genital mutilation.
Plainly he’s posting from inside a sealed bomb-shelter, where he’s been ensconced for many moons now – “it’s not rape if you get a ring on her first” was swirling down the cultural boghole by the time I left high-school – Class Of 1985.
Not clicking through this time, not even to giggle at the Coulter pop-up (an open admission of her ongoing descent to bottom-feeder/remainder-bin status if ever there was one) … frankly, “Part One” told me more than I ever wanted to know as to what a complete Failzilla DP is in the sack.
Happy N00b Year!
DrDick said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:50
“Why I have to pay a thousand bucks for a $200 per hour whore.”
Prager would be lucky to find a crack whore who would give him a hand job for less than $500,
Dave in Atlanta said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:55
Prager’s a douche no doubt about it. Guy makes some interesting points here though, no matter how politically incorrect it is to say so.
Anything approaching marital rape is abhorrent of course. That said, a frustrated husband’s (or wife’s) pleas for more sexual intimacy as a couple are often quite legitimate.
I’m not saying that married people should view or treat one another as property; rather, that on entering into a long-term exclusive and monagamous (sp?) relationship does indeed carry with it a certain degree of responsibility to one’s partner. Fidelity doesn’t just mean ‘not getting any outside’ the relationship, it also means that one has a responsibility to be there for one’s partner sexually as best as you can, for them.
Prager’s bitter in his take on post-feminism. He sees, real or imagined, that in elevating the needs and rights of women we’ve wound up off-handedly denigrating the needs and rights of men. To some extent I agree with him.
M. Bouffant said,
January 1, 2009 at 0:59
Certainly is “denigrating” to “women’s worth” (commodification, anyone?) to suggest that they may be of more value to humanity, civilization or whatever as fully functioning members of society, rather than as the baby-dropping auxiliary.
RvB said,
January 1, 2009 at 1:21
One of the members of Prager’s peanut gallery weighs in:
I’ve been married for almost 20 years. My wife never says no to me, I never say no to work or parenting the kids (God knows there are times I’d rather call in “not in the mood”). It works for us.
Oh, man, I really want to move somewhere where people know better than to say, let alone think, things like that.
Shoelimpy said,
January 1, 2009 at 1:24
Hello. I am SHOELIMPY. That’s right, SHOELIMPY! I’m Baaaaack!
Back giving liberals what for since 04, and bringing science and logic to blogging plagued with bias and hipocrasy. Annie and I make your lives hell, and we will keep on into 09.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
January 1, 2009 at 1:31
“it’s not rape if you get a ring on her first” was swirling down the cultural boghole by the time I left high-school – Class Of 1985.
Oh, hey! Same class as me. Only I went to school in Utah, so the cultural boghole is 20-150 years delayed from everywhere else.
Steerpike said,
January 1, 2009 at 1:41
Xecky–I also had the benefit of a Happy Valley HS edumacation–class of ‘82 Fighting Scots. Where did you do your time?
krassen said,
January 1, 2009 at 1:42
… and the most important one:
9. I tell INS we’re not having sex and she’s be back to Albania in no time!
g said,
January 1, 2009 at 1:50
He sees, real or imagined, that in elevating the needs and rights of women we’ve wound up off-handedly denigrating the needs and rights of men. To some extent I agree with him.
“We?”
What we, Dave?
Is there some authority somewhere that makes pronouncements and judgements that, henceforth, “we” will elevate the needs of one segment of the population over others, and thus the rest of humankind adjusts the hierarchy?
Are you waiting for someone to thank the benevolent fellas for deciding that every once in a while it’s going to be “ladies night.” – only you don’t want things to go too far?
Do tell us about the potential pitfalls of elevating needs and rights of certain groups of human beings.
Snark7 said,
January 1, 2009 at 1:53
I believe there’s a form of evil, which does not stem from malintent, but from just being very, very stupid. Prager is proof of that.
Desert Hussein Rat said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:00
Yeah, because there’s no bigger turn on to a woman than, “Honey, I’ve worked all day, so strip, lay on your back, spread your legs, and let my sweaty tub of lard jump on you for five minutes.”
I’m a heterosexual male, but I can imagine what an aphrodisiac the thought of sex with Dennis Prager must be for your average woman with a brain, and an ounce of self-respect must be.
Dennis, here’s a hint. It’s not that she isn’t in the mood to have sex (though that may be the case as well). It’s that she isn’t in the mood to have sex WITH YOU.
M. Bouffant said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:03
Hey, is shit-sack currently married? Should someone try to get a hold of (Sorry!!) ask her about this?
Desert Hussein Rat said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:09
Jon Gallagher said,
December 31, 2008 at 20:32
Shorter Dennis the P:
Her mouth may say “No”, but her eyes say, “Please unlock these handcuffs”.
Jon Gallagher wins the internets.
M. Bouffant said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:13
“I’m in the mood for love/Simply because you are near me…”
NOT!
actor212 said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:13
Do tell us about the potential pitfalls of elevating needs and rights of certain groups of human beings.
I’m going to step up for Dave here, because I see his point: when one group of people, ANY group of people, is denied their rights, all people are denied theirs.
I can argue with his conclusion that married men have lost rights, and believe me I can, but it’s important to society to protect everyone’s rights, including those who had those rights to begin with. The Bush administration and the Patriot Act teaches us that much.
Desert Hussein Rat said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:14
One other thought. Assuming Dennis “The Lady-Killer” Prager” is working on Divorce Proceeding #3 (meaning he’s married), I think he just gave his wife all the evidence she needs to clean out the tattered remnants of his financial fortune that marital rape victims #1 & #2 left him with.
M. Bouffant said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:18
Oh, fer crapsake, what “rights” are being de-elevated here? The “right” to marital rape? Is the “right” to get some when you want it more important than the right not to be forced into effin’ someone when you don’t want to eff, or to eff them?
Effie said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:33
Were you looking for me, dearie?
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:37
I believe I found a transcript of Dennis researching this article:
Arky the Lumberjack said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:42
9. If women don’t service their husbands, their husbands will turn to their sons.
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:47
Shorter D.P.
BRACE YOURSELF, BRIDGET!!!
purpleOnion said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:49
The most sensitve part of the body is the skin. The most sensitive part of the mind is the imagination. The least sensitive part of the husband is
his awareness, and the most obsessive is his belief that he is always right.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:53
actor212,
when one group of people, ANY group of people, is denied their rights, all people are denied theirs.
On an uncharacteristically serious note, this is sage advise and I wish more people understood this. Just because I’m not a woman doesn’t mean taking away the right of Dennis the Menace’s wife to have, you know, not be raped by him doesn’t have zero effect on me. Likewise, just because I’m not gay doesn’t mean I’m not diminished by anti-gay laws. Just because I’m Jewish doesn’t mean anti-Muslim bigotry isn’t my problem too. Just because I’ll never be pregnant doesn’t mean laws making pregnant women the property of the state are none of my concern. And so on and so on. I wish more people fucking “got” this.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:54
Please ignore my typos above. Apparently, I am illiterate.
fauxmaxbaer said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:56
Here’s a video caption, if no one’s scooped me on it.
atheist said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:57
RyRy Cooter
The thing is, Prager writes for people who bascially specialize in not understanding that about rights.
fauxmaxbaer said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:00
Here’s a video caption, if no one’s scooped me on it.
If so, apologies.
actor212 said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:03
M. Bouffant said,
January 1, 2009 at 2:18
I wasn’t being clear. I blame the champagne.
I mean, if any group is denied their rights, then everyone’s rights are at risk. I do not consider the right to rape a right, just to be clear.
I was being poetic. Sorry.
fauxmaxbaer said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:03
Oops, sorry Tigrismus.
actor212 said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:05
RyRy,
Exactly. Times change and just because for the bulk of history, white straight men have had the power doesn’t mean they will forever. It’s important to acknowledge, from all sides, that rights should be cherished by everyone and the loss of rights by one group diminishes us all.
another jim said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:08
I just had to go and read justification # 8 on his website, in it’s stark nude reality, to see if he really was going to back that one up.
And, yep.
w O w.
yagi said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:09
Dave in Atlanta said,
“Anything approaching marital rape is abhorrent of course. That said, a frustrated husband’s (or wife’s) pleas for more sexual intimacy as a couple are often quite legitimate.”
Agreed. Completely ignoring the needs of your partner (for an extended period of time) is lazy at best, and a sure-fire way to damage a relationship. This is true even when it comes to marital sex.
That said, Prager comes off as an insensitive douche.
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:19
Prager understands, of course, that your right to swing your fist ends at his nose. He also is keen on the idea that your right to have a nose ends where he happens to be swinging his fist.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:21
I blame the champagne.
Ah, the French Champagne.
Lesley said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:21
Anything approaching marital rape is abhorrent of course. That said, a frustrated husband’s (or wife’s) pleas for more sexual intimacy as a couple are often quite legitimate.
Symptoms of extreme problems in the marriage are worthy of therapy or divorce; not one partner (the woman in Prager’s case) pretend to be interested when the partner that repulses her wants sex.
sagra said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:27
Caption: Here Mrs. Prager is in a good mood due to the 8 mind-blowing orgasms she had with her handsome and well-endowed divorce lawyer earlier in the day.
Steerpike said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:28
Look, can we stop referring to Prager as “DP”? This is an abbreviation for a certain specific act performed in pornography. I know this because I…um…read it in a book, OK? Anyway, the thought of this infantile tub of shit …um…participating in this certain act is enough to turn me off permanently.
‘nuf said
Lesley said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:30
I hasten to add that Prager’s alleged frustrations are no doubt caused by his own profound lack of sensitivity and empathy. (I’d like to hear from the two ex-wives.) This isn’t a case of a husband pleading for more “sexual intimacy.” Prager’s demand to be laid isn’t demanding of intimacy or even a shared or mutually satisfactory experience. He’s pretty frank that he doesn’t care if his partner wants to be with him. He couldn’t care less about his partners.
He may as well blow into a piece of raw liver, for all the intimacy he’s seeking.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:31
Steerpike,
I’d never made that connection before, and now you have to go and point it out. I hate you.
Steerpike said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:34
RyRy–you can have the brain-bleach back as soon as I’m through with it. You have to admit the supply is running low, given the nature of this thread to begin with.
Lesley said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:38
Prager obviously gets off on involuntary sex; note that he has no problem with someone not wanting to do him, as long as they are doing him. Tres creepazoid.
bdr said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:44
Wil Riker (Dennis Prager) and Soren (Dennis Miller) backstage during the taping of Star Trek: Next Generation #117: Voyage to the Planet of Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians.
g said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:48
I can’t decide if I want someone to explain what Steerpike and RyRy are talking about, or if I want to remain ignorant so as not to associate whatever it is with Dennis Prager.
Arky the Lumberjack said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:49
You’re assuming he doesn’t. On a regular basis.
All I know is I can’t hear a conservoschmuck talking about how much he likes sex (with women) without thinking of this:
PeeJ said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:50
Sorry to reopen old wounds but seems to me, Dennis Prager is in fact likely to double stuff. Thankfully, it’s hard to know exactly what’s happening in a full wetsuit. Or two.
g said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:53
Oh, fer crapsake, what “rights” are being de-elevated here?
M, I think that folks like Prager and others on the right believe that there’s a limited supply of Rights, and if you pass some out to everyone who asks for it, like brown people and womenfolks, then you’re taking it out of the shares of Rights set aside for Regular Folks, meaning White Men.
If you let the kids have ice cream after school, it means there’s not enough left in the carton when Dad is ready for dessert.
On an unrelated note – Happy New Year to you!
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:53
g,
You don’t want us to explain. If you don’t know, you really don’t want to find out in this context.
Oh, and PeeJ FTW.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:56
folks like Prager and others on the right believe that there’s a limited supply of Rights, and if you pass some out to everyone who asks for it, like brown people and womenfolks, then you’re taking it out of the shares of Rights set aside for Regular Folks, meaning White Men.
Yeah, the zero-sum theory of rights. I wonder if there’s a connection to the (often deliberate) conflation of “rights” and “powers” that underlies “states’ rights” bullshit.
Steerpike said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:56
Let’s just say, in the matter of DP, the woman doesn’t necessarily have to be in the mood, either, but she does need to be cooperative–and sociable!
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:57
Shorter D.P.
(sorry. if it helps, think of him on the receiving end.)
“I swear, doctor, I was changing the kitchen drapes, and I fell, right onto that potato. Of course I was naked…”
g said,
January 1, 2009 at 3:59
It’s probably something I’ve…er….hear tell about….by another name.
Another Kiwi said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:00
Crikey, Plushy suit and Wet suit. Hubba hubba.
Some sort of otter thang?
itwasntme said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:00
I have only one word of advice for this man:
foreplay.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:03
Some sort of otter thang?
Y’all don’t have that sort of thing down around the roaring 40’s?
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:04
Haggard asks an evangelical next to him how often he has sex with his wife.
.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:04
Oh, and hey, happy new year, Kiwi!
Another Kiwi said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:06
Foreplay in Covservoschmuckland consists of yelling “Geronimo!!!” (american comedian whose name I forget’ 1980’s)
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:06
Also, happy new year to our latte-sipping islamo-homo-fascist European overlords. Though I’m guessing they’re all blacked out by now.
Another Kiwi said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:08
Happy new year to you Ry Ry Cooter. We don’t have otters here, we are an otterly free society.
noen said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:09
I’m pretty sure that 2009 was Peak Wingnut Rights. Look for Wingnut Rights to skyrocket in value until only the richest Wingnuts can afford Rights. My advice is the rest start a research program investigating alternate Wingnut Rights technology. Whining and wheedling doesn’t seem too promising to me and Pammela Geller already has the market on batshit crazy cornered.
Lesley said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:09
The existence of men like Prager supports my atheism. And feminism!
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:15
Shorter Abu Gonzo,
WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
It may be that only the time to reflect allowed by a lengthy prison sentence would bring enlightenment to that stain.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:21
Thanks, Another Kiwi, but I still have almost six solid hours of drinking left in this year.
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:23
Wow. Just… wow. I think I’ve finally found an example of chutzpah that outdoes the classic definition.
Steerpike said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:28
Gonzales went on to clarify, “that is, I might have been a casualty in the war on terror, or possibly of some other war. I really can’t recall specifically.”
noen said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:32
Is it really that big of a surprise? There is no real difference between say A. Gonzales and oh… Confederate Yankee. None at all.
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 4:37
It’s just a gobsmack, really, how otterly clueless and self absorbed they are. I can’t keep my jaw shut when I read shit like that.
Yes, Alberto, you’re just like the innocent victims of 9/11 of whom there were barely scraps enough to identify. Yup. Just like a heroic soldier all blowed up on his fourth tour of Iraq. Mmm hmmm.
Fuck you.
darkell said,
January 1, 2009 at 5:08
“My wife made the ultimate sacrifice to make me happy, as she should.”
tigrismus said,
January 1, 2009 at 6:00
Does Prager put out when he’s not in the mood?
Do you really think he’s being pressured to perform? Hell, I bet even his hand breathes a sigh of relief during those blessed respites.
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 6:06
If I was his wife, I’d have killed myself too.
Arky the Lumberjack said,
January 1, 2009 at 6:06
This explains why Prager & his fellow cobags are so homophobic. Two men? Two women?? Where the victimization at!?
Steerpike said,
January 1, 2009 at 6:17
Mr. Prager, serious question: Have you ever woken up in the morning with a gnawed-off arm under your head? Just curious–no reason.
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 6:29
Arky,
I was thinking something along the same lines.
“Ohhhhh. Now we see what it is about traditional marriage that they need so desperately to protect.”
feh
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 6:41
Arky,
Never heard it stated quite so well. I mean, it seems obvious that the basic problem they have is that gay marriage undermines the notion of marriage as a fundamentally asymmetric relationship. A power hierarchy, if you will. Same with homosexuality in general — it inherently denies the notion that sex is a way for men to establish dominance over women, which seems to be their twisted view of it. “Victimization” really hits the nail on the head.
Damn, that was way too intellectual. I need another few shots of tequila.
Oh, and happy new years, east coasters.
Irregardless said,
January 1, 2009 at 6:51
Caption: Dexter Morgan before something died inside.
Smut Clyde said,
January 1, 2009 at 6:56
Who would have expected DP to agree with the social critics who describe marriage as legalised prostitution?
justme said,
January 1, 2009 at 7:20
That better be all agave.
bago said,
January 1, 2009 at 7:29
Yeah, That whole consent thing. Republicans seem confused for the need of a “safe word”.
Lesley said,
January 1, 2009 at 7:50
Do you really think he’s being pressured to perform? Hell, I bet even his hand breathes a sigh of relief during those blessed respites.
Just had hilarious vision of Dennis Pragar forcing his right hand, à la Dr. Strangelove, to do his bidding.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
January 1, 2009 at 7:51
HAPPY NEW BEER!1!!
Arky the Lumberjack said,
January 1, 2009 at 7:52
And a Happy Nude Rear to you too.
Smut Clyde said,
January 1, 2009 at 8:29
Since Another Kiwi has been too thoughtful to gloat about the weather here, I shall also refrain from that schadenfreudal satisfaction. Suffice to say that sunburnt Smut is sunburnt.
It rubs the lotion into its skin.
Dennis Pragar forcing his right hand, à la Dr. Strangelove
If thine right hand offendeth thee, cut it off, and have a socket installed that can take a variety of special-purpose prosthetics, including a Fleshlite.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
January 1, 2009 at 8:33
Weather for Berkeley Springs, Bath (Berkeley Springs), W Virginia
19°F
Current: Mostly Cloudy
Wind: SE at 0 mph
Humidity: 57%
============================================================
That’s my current
undisclosedlocation, SC. It’s the gusting to 50 mph that gets ya.P.S. Night! *hic*
Johnny Pez said,
January 1, 2009 at 8:35
I believe that’s a direct quote from his first two wives.
Smut Clyde said,
January 1, 2009 at 8:44
On closer inspection, the illustration is already captioned. The sign on the wall to Prager’s left reads “Merchandise”. Only the speech bubble is lacking.
bayville said,
January 1, 2009 at 8:47
Larry Elder to Dennis Prager: “I’ll see your idiocy on sex and raise it with some idiocy on race relations.”
By gosh Larry, I do agree one of the faults of the modern day GOP has been its over-sensitivity on issues involving race and stereotypes.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
January 1, 2009 at 8:49
Dancing Obamas on Sullivan’s head
And now I’m really going to bed.
*hic*
RyRy Cooter said,
January 1, 2009 at 9:14
That better be all agave.
Indeed it is 100% agave. Plus 151-and-coke. Plus vodka-and-agua-de-fresca. Shit, I’m fucked up… good think there;s still an hour to new years here
Smut Clyde said,
January 1, 2009 at 9:37
I just learned a new word which seems to apply precisely to Prager’s constant whining viz a viz his sex life.
“Perseveration” is shorter than spelling out “Repeating the same actions after they have failed in the past to achieve the desired result”, and means much the same.
Another Kiwi said,
January 1, 2009 at 10:00
Yeah, that weather ain’t half nice. In a purely non-gloatational way.
suedehead said,
January 1, 2009 at 10:11
Isn’t Prager’s wife going to be reading this drivel? Poor gal…Srsly.
Caption: As usual, this Babydyke is the cutest Gayboy in the room. SUCKERS!!!1!
The Dawg said,
January 1, 2009 at 15:59
I’m surprised a sex machine like Prager even needs to ask his wife. My guess is she’s just constantly swept away by desire.
WereBear said,
January 1, 2009 at 16:27
Any caption I think of would make fun of the person with Prager.
And I can’t do that. Just being in that close of a proximity to him would ruin my sex life for months.
My sympathies.
And… Happy New Year!
It already shows promise… twenty days until the Chimperor is Dallas’s problem.
Athenawise said,
January 1, 2009 at 17:33
Caption: Dennis Prager hs been selected as the 2009 spokesman for NAMBLA.
MzNicky said,
January 1, 2009 at 19:43
This explains why Prager & his fellow cobags are so homophobic. Two men? Two women?? Where the victimization at!?
Who would have expected DP to agree with the social critics who describe marriage as legalised prostitution?
These two observations have made me very happy today. Thanks guys! And Happy New Year to everyone.
Arky the Lumberjack said,
January 1, 2009 at 21:10
Captain Chickenhawk, reporting for duty!
Seriously, the guy in the picture looks exactly like someone I … uh … knew in college, which just adds a fifth layer of disturbingness to the photo.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
January 1, 2009 at 21:11
Larry is aware that we’ve had like, a full century in-between there, right?
Smut Clyde said,
January 1, 2009 at 22:46
Don’t really mater how he puts it
Getting a bit Oedipal there, Duros62.
Doctorb said,
January 1, 2009 at 23:57
Second prize — two dates with Dennis Prager.
Bina said,
January 2, 2009 at 8:30
Bons mots pour M. Prager:
“There are no frigid women, only clumsy men.”
–some French dude
annejumps said,
January 2, 2009 at 19:48
I mean, it seems obvious that the basic problem they have is that gay marriage undermines the notion of marriage as a fundamentally asymmetric relationship. A power hierarchy, if you will. Same with homosexuality in general — it inherently denies the notion that sex is a way for men to establish dominance over women, which seems to be their twisted view of it.
Ding ding ding!
And yeah, wingnuts seem to have a big problem grasping the notion of consent in general. Hence the box turtle meme, the torture=frat initiation meme, etc. etc.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 2, 2009 at 20:39
Prager is cited as some sort of authority in the movie Heckler, an extended whine not just about hecklers at comedy clubs but about critics and – gasp – bloggers.
Rented it the other night and it’s a really fascinating misfire: the guy who made the film is Jamie Kennedy and the film follows him on tour where he appears to demonstrate that he isn’t funny or talented at all, so the encounters with critics are kind of interesting: a lot of the critics fold in the face of his whining and I found myself urging them on.
Bonus knobbery: also in the film is Christopher Hitchens recycling – badly – a Churchill anecdote. I dunno what Kennedy’s leanings are but Heckler’s sort of worth watching as a demonstration of the talentless wondering why they should be judged, a common Republican theme.
Mooser said,
January 3, 2009 at 22:27
Dennis, there are a lot of women who can keep up with, or put to shame, your libido. There is no woman who can keep up with your need for masculine self-assurance.
And besides, every minute you spend thinking about not having straight sex is a minute you don’t have to spend thinking about having gay sex, and that in itself is priceless.
You poor shlamazel, Dennis.
nails said,
January 4, 2009 at 4:31
all the ‘rights’ whiners need to STFU right now. They are correct about one group losing right because another group gained them in this instance but sometimes that the correct thing to do. Like when slavery became illegal white guys lost the right to own slaves, illustrating that rights are not always a good thing. when one person is granted rights that let them abuse another group its a BAD thing.
The right to not have sex if you do not desire to is WAY WAY more important than the right to get some whenever you want it. A sexual problem in marriage is a big complicated problem but demanding that women just deal with sex they dont want is not the solution because it puts the sacrifice all on her, and I really dislike the way that prager acts like unwanted sex is just a boring chore or something. It can really fuck up someone emotionally, especially if they have a history of sexual abuse (something he SPECIFICALLY NAMES as something women should just ignore when they dont want sex). Its kinda fucked up to have the concept of ownership over your own body compromised and a large number of people who have been sexually abused have post traumatic stress, its just so disgusting for me to think about treating an abused person that way.
sick, sick shit. really. women arent fucking property and their bodies arent payment to men for earning money.
Duros62 said,
January 7, 2009 at 22:30
Don’t really mater how he puts it
Getting a bit Oedipal there, Duros62.
Whoopsie!