29
A Lesson In Civility
Paul Mirengoff, Powerline’s laziest blogger, is all teary-eyed this morning about the imminent departure of Little Debbie Howell from her position as Ombudsman at the Washington Post. Poor thing, he muses, all she did was say that Jack Abramoff contributed to Democrats (when he hadn’t) and the next thing she knew she was subjected to “personal attacks, the use of profanity and hate speech” from “emotionally disturbed leftists.”
Here’s one of those emails from an “emotionally disturbed” leftist:
You dumb shit, … you stupid asshole, … [g]o crawl back into your hole, you stupid … shithead. And don’t bother us anymore. You have to have an IQ over 50 to correspond with us. You don’t qualify, you stupid shit.
Oh, wait. Did we get something mixed up here? Uh oh, indeed we did. That was a charming little email sent by Powerline co-blogger John Hinderaker back in 2005 to an email correspondent. Well, I always thought Hinderaker was a bit off and it’s awfully nice of Paul to confirm that at last.
Jennifer said,
December 29, 2008 at 17:57
But given the paper’s bias and the arrogance of its staffers that she describes, there may well be little hope for the Post and less for its readers.
Shorter Mirengoff: I agree that the Post does a bad job but that doesn’t excuse emotionally disturbed leftists for pointing it out.
Stephen said,
December 29, 2008 at 17:58
Take a lesson from Bill O’Reilly: when a conservative acts like an asshole, it’s an isolated incident. When a liberal acts like an asshole, it’s representative of liberals as a whole.
DrDick said,
December 29, 2008 at 18:23
No, no, no, no!!!! Only those barbaric and uncouth lefties are ever uncivil. Conservatives, ever the paragons of virtue and civility, NEVER use bad words or say anything crude or offensive.
Dan Someone said,
December 29, 2008 at 18:29
Mostly OT, but any Twitterers out there may be interested to know about a new Twitter “movement” known as the Social News Platoon, which wants people to Twitter links of interest to conservatives and slap the #diggcons tag on it. A liberal friend of mine has tagged a couple of great stories, like one about Sherry Johnston and her “hillbilly heroin” bust.
Would that be a Twitfuck?
Simba B said,
December 29, 2008 at 18:33
TBogg had fun with #dontgo a while ago. He seems to like the “Republicans discover technology (and think it will win them elections)” storyline.
Arky4That1 said,
December 29, 2008 at 18:44
I thought that was when you had sex with a neo-con.
Dan Someone said,
December 29, 2008 at 18:50
I thought that was when you had sex with a neo-con.
Who the hell would do that?
Narya said,
December 29, 2008 at 18:51
And emotionally disturbed shouldn’t be hyphenated.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 29, 2008 at 18:56
How much are they paying?
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 18:59
Wow, it amazes me just how uncivil and undignified right wingers can be.
Like Truthie, say…
The Goddamn Batman Is Emotionally Disturbed And Proud Of It said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:00
Conservatives aren’t rude, they’re “refreshingly honest”. Just like that guy at the holiday party who wouldn’t shut up about his God-given right to talk on his cell phone while driving his SUV.
Lonelyheart said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:06
they’re “refreshingly honest”
They also:
Tell it like it is.
Call it as they see it.
Don’t hold back.
Shoot from the hip.
Don’t mince words.
Call a spade a spade.
Especially that last one.
Cassie said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:16
paul mirengoff = fearful moping
Legalize said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:17
Wingers also understand that:
- We Are At War;
- 9/11 Changed Everything;
– Teh Military Does What Needs To Be Done Regardless Of Attempts By Islamists, Teh Media, And Teh Liberals To Hamstring Them; and
- [ ........ ] Pleasure of Teh President (Unless He Is A Democrat And/Or Black)
StringonaStick said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:20
Yes, “refreshingly honest”, like the neocon who was being a macho, party-attention-hogging ass about not wearing a bike helmet when he’s in traffic because “nothing ever happens” and he “knows what he’s doing”. I proceeded to tell him I’d recently been first to provide aide to a particularly bad bike accident victim who was out cold for almost a minute, and whose shattered helmet was likely all that saved her brain. It shut him up at least.
Stephen said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:21
Conservatives are also edgy and politically incorrect, assuming you think 300-year-old racial slurs are edgy.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:24
Also it is hip to be square.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:28
Just like that guy at the holiday party who wouldn’t shut up about his God-given right to talk on his cell phone while driving his SUV.
With guys like that, I like to reply with a lecture on personal responsibility and how it’s HIS fault he got in between my drink and the wall behind him.
WereBear said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:38
Conservatives regard their brains as vestigal organs with no real purpose. Thus, it’s like wearing a helmet on your appendix.
Jennifer said,
December 29, 2008 at 19:56
Conservatives regard their brains as vestigal organs with no real purpose. Thus, it’s like wearing a helmet on your appendix.
This is the rare case where conservatives are correct.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:02
Thus, it’s like wearing a helmet on your appendix.
Indeed, I’d wager a survey of conservatives who ride either bikes or motorcycles would show that a higher percentage wear athletic cups as opposed to helmets.
After all, brain damage would be nominal, but just threaten their breeding rights!
jim said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:02
I think Monsieur Mirengoff’s magnum of (flat) White Whine can safely be filed under the “Unrealistic Expectations” heading.
Confucius Say: man who expects civility on the Interwebs has same odds as lady who tries to get lucky by cruising the eunuchs’ tent.
funluvn said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:19
I’m going to invent an whole new dictionary of left wing profanity, just for these right wing hypocritical idiots that act like they wouldn’t say shit if they had a mouth full. My first entry into the dictionary will be:
A – A word meaning fuck you hypocrits on the right.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:19
Completely OT, an interestingly crazy blog:
http://edpreusee.blogspot.com/
I has to be anon just once said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:20
Maybe 10 years ago, the office where I worked had a potential case come across the desk on behalf of the wife of a guy who took a freeway exit too fast, spun out, rolled over, and ended up ded ded ded. This is always sad, and of course I offered my sincere condolences. (Plus there was no actionable case.)
But goddamn, how embarrassing it must have been for the dead guy as he faded into the ether (I always assume a bit of an afterlife in situations like these) to know that the coroner would arrive, and the cops, and the tow truck, and photographers, and he’d had the damn nerve to get vanity plates that said “YDRVE55″.
Hubris creeps me out. Just the hint of it in my own self sends me scurrying back to Low Self Esteemville. But human beans have a propensity for it. ::shudder::
Simba B said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:23
Just the hint of it in my own self sends me scurrying back to Low Self Esteemville.
This, to me, is the mark of someone who has their head screwed on straight.
Simba B said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:26
Er, not that anyone should have low self-esteem but to be self-aware and self-checking like that is a Good Thing™
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:27
and he’d had the damn nerve to get vanity plates that said “YDRVE55?.
I don’t get it.
Simba B said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:29
Why drive 55 (mph)?
tigrismus said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:31
Deborah Howell was the worst ombudsman EVAR. What kind of ombudsman dismisses reader concerns out of hand, gets pissed about civil, sourced complaints(calling them “attacks”) about blatant, obvious mistakes, and responds to hard evidence proving the paper wrong by doubling down instead of just issuing a fucking correction? The whole POINT of ombudsmen is to represent the interests of the public and NOT be just another lackey.
stryx said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:32
Wingers also understand that:
“Writing a blog is the exact same thing as doing a tour in Iraq.”
“What you call destroyed, I call ventilationally enhanced.”
“Build a moat and the world laughs at you. Build a moat and fill it with shit and the world points and laughs at you mercilessly.”
OK, maybe not that last one.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:37
Howell via Mirengoof:
Bye!
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:38
Oh.
Arky4That1 said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:39
A goat that couldn’t chew through the rope in time.
stryx said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:40
I forget- was Howell known as Ol’ 40 Grit or Ol’ 60 Grit?
And is it uncivil to give her that nym?
luneylegume said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:41
Bart Simpson’s blackboard detention exercise
The brain is not a vestigal organ
The brain is not a vestigal organ
The brain is not a vestigal organ …
mark f said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:48
Doesn’t he look like the guy who tries to get the cashier fired at the grocery store because something from the sales flyer is out of stock?
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
December 29, 2008 at 20:59
Nah.
More the brow-beaten husband of the woman who tries to get the cashier fired at the grocery store.
His only role in life anymore, since he got laid off, is to follow her around in his suit like he still has something to look forward to in life, and gradually comes to expect the verbal and physical abuse unleashed on him, an abuse he can only find relief from by trolling the internet for underage girls//FBI child abuse taskforce agents.
Me said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:00
Not as egregious as a plastic scrotum hanging from the trailer hitch of a pickup. I’ve often wondered, is there some sophisticated level of irony there that I’m missing? As in, “Yeah, I’m compensating. So what? I’m so secure in my masculinity that I’m willing to advertise the fact that I’m not secure in my masculinity. So there.”
Or is it just that they’re idiots?
WereBear said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:03
Actually, you wondering about the meta-irony is about three light years above the actual buyers of such items, which seems to be summed up as, “Heh! My truck has swinging balls!”
Because they don’t even know the existence of irony regarding fake testicles. Trust me on this one.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:03
It does provide a good place to kick the truck when you’re unhappy with it.
mark f said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:20
His only role in life anymore, since he got laid off
Paul will never get laid off. He works as an attorney to make sure that businesses don’t get burdened with too many pernicious onuses like having to pay their employees.
Paul is very concerned, though, that children of privilege <a href=”http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2008/08/021246.php”just don’t get a fair shake in today’s America.
mark f said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:22
I swear that looked right in the preview area.
whinger said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:36
Congresswoman Helen Chenoweth was critical of seatbelt laws, and died in an accident while not wearing one. There was some right-wing columnist for a college newspaper who wrote a column criticizing seatbelt laws and was thrown out of his car to his death a couple weeks later.
I like to think that they both had the moment while they were airborne to realize how foolish they’d been.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:38
Congresswoman Helen Chenoweth was critical of seatbelt laws, and died in an accident while not wearing one.
Unless the black helicopters really DID get her…
Dick Cheney said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:38
Go fuck yourself.
DrDick said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:42
How much are they paying?
Not nearly enough.
Smut Clyde said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:43
The NZ licensing authority refused my application for vanity plates that read 6ULDV8.
DrDick said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:43
I like to think that they both had the moment while they were airborne to realize how foolish they’d been.
And to realize that Darwin was right. Score Darwin 2, Wingnuts 0.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:46
It took a while Smut, but I got that. For a moment, I was wondering why they’d care if you owned a V8…
Mooser said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:46
I see them all, legions of the wingers, suspended for those few cartoon moments, legs flailing, shouting “Wingnuts don’t fail me now” until, one by one, they look down. And plummet. But plummet they will.
dave said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:48
While I’m not sad to see The Debster hitting the bricks, I won’t be convinced that the winds of change are really cranking up till I see how her replacement, Marcus Brauchli, does in her place. OT: Said winds may finally be hitting the op-ed section of our local rag, the Springfield (MA) Republican. Usually specializing in pieces by Krauthammer, Malkin, Sowell, Gerson, et al, ad nauseum, today they ran their first ever piece by Paul Krugman. I really got my hopes up until I noticed the note at the bottom of the Krugman piece, saying: “David Brooks is on vacation”.
justme said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:48
Of course, nowadays, with the intartubez all fired up, there would be pictures of the accident scene with F-A-I-L superimposed on it posted to every website that allows image linking.
Now that’s something to be embarrassed about.
Not that such a fate will even begin to deter the next hydrocephalic mouth-breather from ordering plates like that.
Mooser said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:48
The NZ licensing authority refused my application for vanity plates that read 6ULDV8.
My red, ‘93, SS 900 has the plate: VIADUC.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:50
They denied my application for biskvit in cyrillic characters!!!
WereBear said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:54
Herb Brooks, coach of the 1980 gold medal hockey team, also did not believe in seat belts.
Guess what?
DrDick said,
December 29, 2008 at 21:58
Guess what?
Darwin wins again!
Matt T. Spalding said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:01
My red, ‘93, SS 900 has the plate: VIADUC.
I get everything else, but I no get-a why a duck.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:03
Liar. You are not an actor.
Everyone’s a critic. *shrug*
justme said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:03
Mooser,
That reminded me, for some reason, of the end of the introduction to Nabakov’s Transparent Things.
That, and the classic W.E. Coyote “Yikes” sign.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:03
Unless the black helicopters really DID get her…
Nope, the Illuminati used stolen Area 51 technology to fill her car with fluoride chemtrails, created by reptilian greys in a military base 5 miles underground.
WereBear said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:10
I must admit, I have been prevented from a few dumb things by the knowledge that if I should meet my demise this way, the humiliation would last a few centuries.
I think it’s a good sense to cultivate.
g said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:13
Oh, fer heavens sake.
I fyou’re going to be the ombusdsman for a major newspaper, and you have a completely open email forum accessible by the ENTIRE WORLD, and you’re writing about things people have strong feelings about, shouldn’t you expect some of what lands in your inbox to be – er – impassioned and uncivil? And shouldn’t you just let it blow off instead of hyperventilating and believing that the ravings of a few lunatics is indicative of ANYTHING?
DrDick said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:15
I think it’s a good sense to cultivate.
Indeed. I attribute my current survival to exactly this.
PeeJ said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:20
900ss made by Ducati, which are affectionately known as DUCs (pronounced duck)
In college, way back in the 70’s, I had a VW with plate ML8ML8. Anyone know what color my car was?
An attorny friend once showed me the shirt his DUI client was wearing when she couldn’t even stand up for the video. The judge loved it – it said “TOO DRUNK TO FUCK”
PeeJ said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:22
paul mirengoff = ur ample goniff
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:23
I had a VW with plate ML8ML8. Anyone know what color my car was?
I’m guessing white, and I’m guessing it was a VW Rabbit.
Woodrowfan said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:24
My fav pl8ts that I was shocked made it thru VDOT in Richmond were on a black convertible sports car driven by a striking young blond woman. They read 694SAL
Righteous Bubba said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:26
I know Sally and her 693 elder siblings, you dirty person.
Smut Clyde said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:26
In college, way back in the 70’s, I had a VW with plate ML8ML8.
I recall that joke from a Martin Gardner column and I was about to steal it myself.
Jennifer said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:28
The plate I really wanted was 2BRNOT2B…but alas, it has one letter too many. So instead I got ANARKIE.
tigrismus said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:30
A personal favorite
noen said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:38
tigrismus said,
“The whole POINT of ombudsmen is to represent the interests of the public and NOT be just another lackey.”
No, no, no… The point of having an ombudsman is to send those who complain on an endless wild goose chase. The Primary Directive for all republicans is “I am never to blame”.
PeeJ said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:39
Um, I did not read more Martin Gardner columns than I did read so I must have missed it. I really did have a white rabbit with that plate but never imagined I was the only one. What was the joke?
Julia Grey said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:44
Not as egregious as a plastic scrotum hanging from the trailer hitch of a pickup.
I obviously live a very sheltered life.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:45
http://www.trucknutz.com/
Smut Clyde said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:47
Yes, but is anyone selling prosthetic testicles designed to look like trailer hitches?
DrDick said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:48
Righteous Bubba -
Oh, dear sweet beer battered deep fried Jeebus on a stick. Yet one more thing I could have gone my whole life without knowing.
Smut Clyde said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:50
What was the joke?
Guess the marque and colour of the car.
If memory serves me well, the column was in OMNI magazine from 1983, so the author might not actually have been Gardner.
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 22:59
Smut,
It’s possible that it was an interview with Gardner. I have a vague memory of that puzzle, but not in SciAm.
rabit said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:00
He sets such impossible standards for his readers. :)
DrDick said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:08
He sets such impossible standards for his readers.
Well, it is somewhat unlikely that anyone with an IQ below 50 is able to read even such juvenile scribblings.
acrannymint said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:09
creepier nuts
Lesley said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:17
Firing with just cause is just so…..MEAN.
justme said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:18
As long as we’re linking favorite plates…
The GIS for that is, um, somewhat distracting.
justme said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:21
That would depend which coast you’re on.
Turbine Yukon Palin said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:22
I can’t help but wonder if future generations will think of Trucknutz the same way we think about ancient fertility relics and phalli.
Probably not, but you wonder what’s going to be stuck on their fusion-powered hovermobiles.
g said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:25
Congresswoman Helen Chenoweth was critical of seatbelt laws, and died in an accident while not wearing one
Is that true? Wow. Poetic.
I can’t help but wonder if future generations will think of Trucknutz the same way we think about ancient fertility relics and phalli.M
It might be more like the toilet seat from “Motel of the Mysteries”
DrDick said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:26
I can’t help but wonder if future generations will think of Trucknutz the same way we think about ancient fertility relics and phalli.
Well, they serve much the same function.
Grace Nearing said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:35
After all, brain damage would be nominal, but just threaten their breeding rights!
Actor212– Sounds like Gordie Howe on why he wore a cup but refused to wear a helmet: I can always get someone to do my thinking for me. Oh but he said it with a wonderful grin!
Smut Clyde said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:37
However, ancient fertility relics were more versatile. Can you repel satyrs with Trucknutz?
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:37
Grace, you’re right! I had forgotten that quote!
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:38
I’m pleased to live in a nation where all trucks are created equal and every truck can grow up with the dream of securing the nutz his driver never had.
But what if you’re truck is a girl?
Smut Clyde said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:41
No Apo’s Trophy for actor212!
actor212 said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:49
Eh. I never claimed to be a grammarian.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:54
But what if you’re truck is a girl?
I guess it would have a trailer socket instead of a hitch.
Jennifer said,
December 29, 2008 at 23:55
g – thank you for reminding me of the Motel of the Mysteries. I haven’t thought about that in years but always thought it was hysterical. I’m gonna go look at it now!
Till said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:02
It’s just like trolls. The sensible thing to do is ignore them (ie, delete the emails), but so many people just let their buttons be pushed.
It’s worked out pretty well for Glenn Greenwald, though, who has gotten a ton of angry, stupid replies from prominent people who’d look much better if they just ignored a mostly-unknown blogger.
actor212 said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:05
I guess it would have a trailer socket instead of a hitch.
Well, that’s a possibility, of course, but I’m thinking more along the lines of a car bra, but with implants.
Smut Clyde said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:29
Air bags?
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:36
But what if your truck is a girl?
How would you know? Do you turn it over on its back, as with a kitten or puppy, and look at its tires?
LittlePig said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:46
http://edpreusee.blogspot.com/
Talented typist is more like, but anybody that writes about Tony “Two-Ton” Galento can’t be all bad. Without him, “I’ll moider da bum” wouldn’t be part of the lexicon.
LittlePig said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:52
But what if your truck is a girl?
That leads to really embarrassing photos on the Internet…
Righteous Bubba said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:53
I like the scattershot American lore dribbled out in kooky fashion, but also this:
slip said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:55
But what if your truck is a girl?
It can still have balls!
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 30, 2008 at 0:59
Do you turn it over on its back, as with a kitten or puppy, and look at its tires?
Oh, I did that the other night on the way back from the Blood Clot. I always drive with my .45 in my right hand, but sometimes it makes turning awkward and I ended up on the uppity-side down. My truck is all-man, by the way.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
December 30, 2008 at 1:27
If your truck is ENOUGH of a man, RiM, it would have mounted you…..
just to establish dominance, you know.
DrDick said,
December 30, 2008 at 1:39
If your truck is ENOUGH of a man, RiM, it would have mounted you…..
You will note that he never said it didn’t.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 30, 2008 at 1:51
The fact is, The Washington Post is the most liberal biased paper in USA, about time we get a real conservative omnibusman to make sure the other side is heard and the readers get their right to refute liberal bias.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 30, 2008 at 1:52
Hey, come on now, I was limping because of the accident, that’s all!
g said,
December 30, 2008 at 1:57
Oh. My. God. The Blessed Event has occurred.
The baby’s name is Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, according to Jones.
Baby Tripp takes his surname from his dad, Levi Johnston, an apprentice electrician and former Wasilla High School hockey player who has been dating Bristol for three years.
Tripp? As in a “tripped circuit breaker?”
Klassy.
DrDick said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:00
As in a “tripped circuit breaker?”
I think more as in “Daddy tripped over his own dick this time.”
Gary Ruppert said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:00
The fact is, liberals hate good news like the birth of a baby of conservative parents who worked hard like Tripp. They make fun of him, when all of there babies are not very smart and will go to state schools.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:01
The fact is, Obama will never take office. There is enough controversy over his association with communists, criminals and black power muslim types that when the public finds out all of it he will be impeached before he is sedated.
El Cid said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:08
I believe it’s Palin’s plan to rapidly populate the State of Alaska with Palins, ensuring a genetic interest in capturing each and every elected and appointed position in Alaska’s government.
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:20
I’m pretty sure you’d be far better off if you remove the balls from the truck.
You know, they make it hard to STEER….
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:21
Okay, Mr. Bravery, you get up behind that thing and remove its balls. The tranquilizer gun has done NOTHING.
fadgeophile said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:30
MOOOOO!
DrDick said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:34
Okay, Mr. Bravery, you get up behind that thing and remove its balls
Watch yourself, those suckers can kick harder than a mule and they’ll whack you with the tailgate when you’re not looking.
tigrismus said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:37
You know, they make it hard to STEER….
And that’s no bull?
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:37
Well then, your Ox is well and truly gored then, initit?
mikey
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:40
Well then, your Ox is well and truly gored then, initit?
Now, that’s just gelding the lily.
slip said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:42
Heifer you plan to go with these awful puns?
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:44
One things for sure, you certainly don’t wanna end up doing a half-ass job on your RIG…
mikey
Steerpike said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:45
Dammit Clif, you’ve got to get away from this one-post-a-day rationing! The comment threads are so cheesy by the time we hit 100 that it’s no fun being snarky. Does anyone even remember what the original post was about?
Smut Clyde said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:46
I have a beef with
SHUT UP SMUT.
fadgeophile said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:46
I’m going to have to ruminate on this for a minute so I don’t get buffaloed by this thread.
OneMan said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:48
All I know is if you were from Jersey you wouldn’t put up with this bull.
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:50
Steerpike: Oh look at you and your complaint, with that nym?
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:50
Y’know, Herr Clyde, that other guy in your head is a dick.
You can prevail, it’s just a matter of adjusting the dosage….
mikey
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:51
I’d watch a DVD tonight but first I’d have to go out and rennet.
Lonelyheart said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:52
The comment threads are so cheesy
I’m not sure we can accept dairy-related puns here.
Steerpike said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:52
MzN–do you recognize the reference?
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:54
I’ll be here all week, try the veal*, yak yak. That’s right, I said “yak.”
__________________
*Actually, don’t. You don’t want to know, nor do you want me to tell you.
Steerpike said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:55
no no, it’s “Try your waitresses; tip the veal” a-hyuck yuck (snort)
God I slay me
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:56
MzN–do you recognize the reference?
No. I couldn’t get beyond the “Steer.” But my BFF Google tells me it’s something to do with fantasy fiction, to which I am allergic.
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:57
no no, it’s “Try your waitresses; tip the veal”
Only to those who are not humorless radical feminists.
Steerpike said,
December 30, 2008 at 2:58
Not exactly fantasy fic (which gives hives as well). Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake–One of my great lifelong re-reads.
henry lewis said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:00
I could feedlots more puns to you, but you’ve probably herd them.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:03
Only to those who are not humorless radical feminists.
I, for one, am deeply offended.
I mean….heh.
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:03
“Beau Geste” by Christopher Wren — one of my great lifelong re-reads.
Snorghagen said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:08
Agreed. That sort of thing would be udderly beneath our dignity.
Steerpike said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:13
Political Snarkasaurus is starving–need–fresh–meat
henry lewis said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:13
Unless the truck with the nutz is a chevre-let.
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:13
Besides, haven’t you pretty much milked it for all it’s worth?
mikey
Another Kiwi said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:16
It behooves us to stay decently away from dud milk jokes.
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:19
I don’t want you to think I’m Lactose Intolerant, but these puns stink…
mikey
WereBear said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:21
The variety shows we are not a homogenized group.
henry lewis said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:23
One would be wise to just skim this thread.
Another Kiwi said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:28
The puns couldn’t brie any worse!
noen said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:28
Milk? I don’t think that’s milk in you Rocky Mountain Oysters.
noen said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:30
“your” not you, crap crap crap. I hate that, it just curdles me.
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:37
Hey, I’m cheesed off…
mikey
Smut Clyde said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:39
Y’know, Herr Clyde, that other guy in your head is a dick.
You can prevail, it’s just a matter of adjusting the dosage….
Apparently it’s what people call a ‘conscience’, but you’re right about the dosage. A couple of Morts of akvavit and it goes away.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:40
Hey, I’m cheesed off…
You’re also whey off thread.
Till said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:43
If you have too much cheese, you just have to edam.
Another Kiwi said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:48
Er the camembert’s a bit runny.
MikeJ said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:51
This punning will go on tilsit too late.
Steerpike said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:55
Clif, I’m begging you: Just one “Shorter Cap’n Ed”; one measly attack on Confederate Yankee’s manhhod, or Ann Coulter’s; one little synopsis of a Thomas Sowell screed; even an update on the Glorious Gay Patriot Blogress election caper. Anything! We’re reduced to making cheese jokes for gawdssakes–not “cheesy” mind you–that would at least be an improvement! Even the trolls have abandoned us!
Steerpike said,
December 30, 2008 at 3:59
I’ve been forced to go over and read Huffington Post comment threads. Let me tell you, the trolls there take themselves way-hay-hay too seriously!
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:00
Even the trolls have abandoned us!
Ka – CHING!
WIN!
mikey
Till said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:01
But cheese puns are the height of gouda humor!
OK, I’ll stop now.
henry lewis said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:05
We’ve got cheese, we’ve got a whine, but we seem to have lost our cracker.
justme said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:06
This thread is a muensterous atrocity.
Steerpike said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:13
Yeah, well…OK Then. Some weather we’re havin’ eh? Howzabout them Broncos? Heckava day.
justme said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:17
You can’t telemea this isn’t driving you emmental.
old biddies said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:31
You’re all nuts! I can’t believe such crudité!
atheist said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:33
You’re all nuts! I can’t believe such crudité!
atheist said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:34
FYWP
noen said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:34
This thread is a bit runnier than I like it.
Awww, and now the cat’s eaten it.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:38
Well, if S,N! punfest isn’t working for you, head over to the Poor Man Institute and vote for the Golden Wingers. I didn’t even know they were doing them this year.
El Cid said,
December 30, 2008 at 4:58
This thread has left me feeling bleu, with its recent Stiltoned style.
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 5:19
Apparently, there was a South African Earthworm that was measured at twenty two feet.
Just thought I’d share that with y’all.
Sleep well.
Huh? Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing…
mikey
hey guys said,
December 30, 2008 at 5:25
Who is this “Gary Ruppert” guy? Is that a real person, or a fake persona made up by one of you to (successfully) make conservatives look like morons?
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 5:39
Puns = cry for new thread.
And may I once again, apparently without being heard but I’ll do it anyway, implore our beloved commenters to ignore the trolls. I’m tempted as usual to make the comparison to feeding stray dogs or cats, which are also pathetic beings in search of that which they need to survive, but they are deserving of your attention and button-pushing fuckjerk trolls are not. In conclusion, trolls are not worthy of your response, whereas stray dogs and cats are.
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 5:40
hey guys: Yes.
justme said,
December 30, 2008 at 5:44
Oh, everybody keep yer pantysgawn
.
Smut Clyde said,
December 30, 2008 at 5:44
Apparently, there was a South African Earthworm that was measured at twenty two feet.
That’s all very well, but does it glow in the dark?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:14
Apparently, there was a South African Earthworm that was measured at twenty two feet.
I’ll be dreaming of the bass I could catch with that worm!
henry lewis said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:19
I’ll be dreaming of the bass I could catch with that worm!
You could catch the whole orchestra!
MzNicky said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:22
Speaking of Al Franken, has he won that fucking race yet or what?
Oh, perhaps this is the wrong thread.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:24
MzNicky, I’d guess most any of us could beat Norm Coleman in a fucking race.
sarah said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:29
i’m happy to contribute something to this thread that is both dairy-related and at least somewhat germane to the original subject: i clicked over to powerline and found that the banner ad at the top is for “chedda’s bling blog,” where one can learn “How [Chedda] Hustled A $12,000 Check From The Government and got $5,000 a Month From the Man.”
[i can't figure out how to get that link to show up correctly in preview; for some reason "sadlyno.com/archives/" keeps appearing in front of the address--argh!]
anyway, it might be something from ms. howell to consider if she’s looking to get out of the ombudsperson business.
Another Kiwi said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:31
No need to venture away from these shores for glowing worms. The native New Zild critters do alright. And I have seen one glowing in the dark, the real question is “Why?” It’s not like they have a big audience for it.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:35
[i can't figure out how to get that link to show up correctly in preview; for some reason "sadlyno.com/archives/" keeps appearing in front of the address--argh!]
When you type the URL, are you just typing “cheddasblingblog.com” instead of the full “http://www.cheddasblingblog.com” (or whatever the full URL is?)
Snorghagen said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:35
How can you all spend your time joking about giant glowing nightcrawlers when innocent Guinea worms are facing extinction?
sarah said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:40
x.g.: ah, i think that may have been it! thank you for solving the mystery.
Simba B said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:40
You know, it does occur to me that all of this ad blocking machinery I have probably gives right wing sites more respectability than they deserve. On the rare occasion I click over, I think that Butt Missle Boy is probably more accurately experienced with a blinking advertisement for a fraud scheme above his site.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:41
How can you all spend your time joking about giant glowing nightcrawlers when innocent Guinea worms are facing extinction?
Never fear – we won’t let them go extinct. Like with smallpox, a few specimens of the guinea worm will be preserved in a few CDC freezers.
Then some fucktard will decide we need to develop weaponized guinea worms and a medical triumph will be overturned by illegal fucktarded fucktardery.
Simba B said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:43
illegal fucktarded fucktardery.
legal fucktarded fucktardery is just as dangerous.
regoob said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:48
OMG!!! ONE WHOLE EMAIL!! BACK IN 2005 NO LESS!!!
WHY, CLIF, YOU’RE RIGHT!!! ONE 3 1/2 YEAR-OLD EMAIL IS PROOF POSITIVE THAT BUTTROCKET IS DEEEEE-RANGED!!!
I SEE IT NOW!!!111!
regoob said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:50
Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthank you!! I’ve needed to get that off my chest for quite a while now!
Naughty, NAUGHTY BUTTMISSILE! SHAAAAAAAAME!!
mikey said,
December 30, 2008 at 7:06
Hey, speaking of fucktardery….
mikey
noen said,
December 30, 2008 at 7:15
Yeah, I see the goober worm has slithered out from it’s shitpile.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 30, 2008 at 7:44
Tripp? As in a “tripped circuit breaker?”
I was thinking Linda. Maybe it’s just me.
g said,
December 30, 2008 at 7:44
Uh…I’m not too drunk to recognize a troll…
g said,
December 30, 2008 at 7:53
I’m too drunk to do a lot of things. But recognize a troll? Nope. Still sober enough.
Loneoak said,
December 30, 2008 at 8:12
I for one think that Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston is a very beautiful name.
Tripp is for the acid that Grandma was doing.
Easton is for the sporting goods company that provided the kneepads.
Mitchell is the hair produce that Levi uses.
Johnston … that’s his last name. It only means that.
Smut Clyde said,
December 30, 2008 at 8:25
when innocent Guinea worms are facing extinction?
That “save the Guinea worm” website is the work of a sick, twisted mind.
g said,
December 30, 2008 at 8:38
Johnston … that’s his last name. It only means that.
Yeah. It’s not JOHNSON.
William Burroughs said,
December 30, 2008 at 8:45
To say someone is a Johnson means he keeps his word and honours his obligations. He’s a good man to have on your team. He is not a malicious, snooping, interfering self-righteous trouble making person.
ahem said,
December 30, 2008 at 9:30
Debbycakes never knew what her job was meant to be, and thus, was shit at it. Say what you like about Byron Calame — less so Rotisserie Okrent — but he doesn’t treat the ombudsjob as a kind of Howie Kurtz++.
M. Bouffant said,
December 30, 2008 at 9:31
Is the “Tripp” because Levi is Levi Johnston III? Or is he just, like, a real fuckin’ trip, dude?
Riley said,
December 30, 2008 at 10:07
LOL, I got an email just like that from Assrocket about 4 years ago.
Anne Laurie said,
December 30, 2008 at 10:09
The baby’s name is Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, according to Jones.
In the (recently cancelled) primetime soap opera DIRTY SEXY MONEY, Donald Sutherland plays Tripp Darling, a multi-billionaire real estate developer in New York City whose financial acumen is equalled only by his love for his family… imagine Joe Kennedy (Senior) acting Donald Trump as imagined by Don Corleone. Much scenery is chewed during the commission of murder, kidnapping,judicial bribery, suborning perjury, vote-rigging, and bargaining with God for personal advancement, etc. You know — Palin family values. But (pace Sutherland) much more Klassy!
Smut Clyde said,
December 30, 2008 at 10:12
Now I can’t stop singing “luminescent earthworms” to the tune of Psychedelic Warlords. Somehow, indirectly, this is all mikey’s fault.
Mumbai said,
December 30, 2008 at 10:37
How crass can one get and how low can one stoop.
M. Bouffant said,
December 30, 2008 at 10:54
Izzat a rhetorical question?
M. Bouffant said,
December 30, 2008 at 10:55
Apparently not; it has the form of one, yet lacks a question mark.
RvB said,
December 30, 2008 at 12:31
This just in–The World’s Greatest Ironist was just found dead in his apartment, an apparent victim of suicide. Police report that his note read “Goodbye, cruel world.” “He died just as he lived,” said a spokesman from the police.
RyRy Cooter said,
December 30, 2008 at 13:25
Goddamn, are y’all trying to kill me with alcohol poisoning? I live in a house with a permanent drinking game in effect, and one of the universal rules is “drink for puns.” Reading through the string (of) cheese puns was like a heifer bottle of tequila. Ah, shit. *takes two more swigs*
Loneoak,
Mitchell is the hair produce that Levi uses.
He rubs veggies in his hair? That probably explains something. Not sure what, but something. (And damn you for beating me to the obvious joke about grandma. I never get the low-hanging produce. Damnit, again! *takes another swig*)
Shoelimpy said,
December 30, 2008 at 14:30
Hey. Did you miss me?
I’m Shoelimpy, the Great One.
That’s right. SHOELIMPY.
OneMadClown said,
December 30, 2008 at 15:06
Who-limpy?
Arky the Lumberjack said,
December 30, 2008 at 15:33
OT: Could someone please explain why the fuck Gay Patriot got a nom for best LGBT blog? Is there some definition of “best” that includes “most deserving of constant mockery”?
RyRy Cooter said,
December 30, 2008 at 15:44
Arky,
You have got to be shitting me. *does Google search* You’re not shitting me. I’ll guess the same reason an anti-science blog like Climate Audit got into the final round for best science blog: conservative affirmative action.
kiki said,
December 30, 2008 at 15:53
Shoe-who-who?
tigrismus said,
December 30, 2008 at 16:53
MzNicky, I’d guess most any of us could beat Norm Coleman in a fucking race.
Well, I’m guessing if he can even get lil’ Norm up he’s half done, but if speed to completion is your goal, may I just say “UR DOIN IT WRONG.” I suggest he’d win a race, but we’d win a contest.
actor212 said,
December 30, 2008 at 17:08
Wow, this thread went whey off course!
actor212 said,
December 30, 2008 at 17:13
OT: Could someone please explain why the fuck Gay Patriot got a nom for best LGBT blog? Is there some definition of “best” that includes “most deserving of constant mockery”?
Must be. It would explain how my crappy blog won a finalist nom as well.
stryx said,
December 30, 2008 at 17:24
OT: Could someone please explain why the fuck Gay Patriot got a nom for best LGBT blog? Is there some definition of “best” that includes “most deserving of constant mockery”?
Well, that’s how I describe the Indigo Girls.
LittlePig said,
December 30, 2008 at 17:37
Well, that’s how I describe the Indigo Girls.
Can they help it if the cat’s got their tongue?
actor212 said,
December 30, 2008 at 18:08
Can they help it if the cat’s got their tongue?
That certainly explains the “mock” noise.
lawnguylander said,
December 30, 2008 at 18:27
Then some fucktard will decide we need to develop weaponized guinea worms and a medical triumph will be overturned by illegal fucktarded fucktardery.
On cue 7 minutes later:
regoob said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:48
Asshole has a google alert set up for “fucktarded fucktardery.”. Please don’t ever write that again. Thx!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 30, 2008 at 18:48
Please don’t ever write that again. Thx!
Fair enough – it’s not a phrase I haul out often.
Terry C said,
December 30, 2008 at 21:41
Conservatards excel at projection.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
December 31, 2008 at 0:21
Asshole has a google alert set up for “fucktarded fucktardery.”. Please don’t ever write that again. Thx!
Oh no, now you wrote it!
…
Wait a minute, now I wrote it!
Scream.
AAAAAAAGH!
Man, this just like the episode of F-Troop.
OneMan said,
December 31, 2008 at 1:54
Who says I’m dumb?
Mentis Fugit said,
December 31, 2008 at 6:01
I’d had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, ‘That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.’
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 31, 2008 at 8:06
This is starting to approach tuckfarded duckfartery.
actor212 said,
December 31, 2008 at 16:42
That’s almost beautiful in its turduckenhood, Gil.