Comments on: Wingnut Masterpiece Theatre

By: Marq

Marq — Tue, 26 Jul 2005 14:46:26 +0000

Yosef–an addendum to your instructions. Presumably, “cookies” need to be active for the comments page to remember your information. Mine, since I am astonishingly paranoid, are off, naturally enough. It’s not worth the petty convenience of not having to type in my info each time to allow the INTERNETS TO SPY ON MY EVERY LITTLE MOVE! Unless, of course, I want to read the New York Times.

By: Bill S

Bill S — Sat, 23 Jul 2005 06:51:26 +0000

As yes, “The Wild Man”-y’know, picking the wingnuttiest thing by Dougie would be hard, but that’s an excellant choice. Not only does he get to indulge his usual macho/homoerotic fantasies, but he also proves that, for a preacher, he’s remarkably ignorant about what the Bible actually SAYS.

By: Jefe

Jefe — Sat, 23 Jul 2005 03:49:12 +0000

A good Doug Giles column is The Wild Man. This is Pastor Doug's bizarre retelling of the Garden of Eden story.

By: t. fiend

t. fiend — Sat, 23 Jul 2005 02:21:55 +0000

Anonymous — thank you thank you thank you! It was as good as I remembered, oh baby.

Silly me, I had forgotten that St. Rhonald the Teflon had officially slain the dragon of communism. I will no longer accuse cats and ladies of ample girth of being communists, when they are in fact radical socialists…

By: Jeffrey

Jeffrey — Sat, 23 Jul 2005 00:40:27 +0000

My all-time favorite Jonah Goldberg column damns the ’60s by quoting then-Cardinal Ratzinger declaring that “the 1968 revolution and the terror created – in the name of Marxist ideas – a radical attack on human freedom and dignity, a deep threat to all that is human,” and then informing us that “The 1960s saw student uprisings not only in America but in France, Britain, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Germany, Senegal, Argentina, Indonesia and Mexico. Obviously, each had its own unique flavor, but there was also something in the global water in the 1960s. What it was, exactly, is still hotly debated today. But the violence of ’68ers surely had something to do with the comfort and guilt that comes from being the prosperous offspring of the World War II generation.”

That’s right, Jonah: the rebels in Czechoslovakia and Poland were out to spread the gospel of Marx, and the ones in Indonesia and Mexico were all spoiled little rich kids out on a joy ride.

By: Brando70

Brando70 — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 23:18:35 +0000

While not overtly political, Debbie Schlussel's anti-WNBA screed is one of the nuttiest, meanest things I've read from someone who has been on Fox. John Gibson's recent one about how it was too bad France didn't get the Olympics so they could get blown up by terrorists was also exceptionally stupid and heartless.

By: D. Sidhe

D. Sidhe — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 22:25:38 +0000

The Ben Stein classic in which he compared Bush voters to oppressed civil rights workers has always delighted me.
C’mon, the guy quotes the lyrics to We Shall Overcome. How much more wingnutty can you get?

http://www.spectator.org/dsp_article.asp?art_id=7470

By: DJ

DJ — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 21:34:49 +0000

Not to pick on Noonan (oh, hell…let’s), the one where she waxes rhapsodically about wanting to hump Ronald Reagan’s foot.

By: Yosef

Yosef — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 21:32:57 +0000

s.z.- I figured out how to make it remember you. It’s pretty simple just be sure to click the “Remember me” button after you’ve included everything you’re going to write. If you type in your name, then email address, then click the button, and then type you comment, it won’t remember you. You have to do it only after you’ve done everything else.

By: john d'oh

john d'oh — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 21:12:44 +0000

How about David Brooks’ column about the myth of the Neocon and how Neocon is shorthand for jew. Maybe not quite on par in nuttiness with the Lord’s Dolphins, but bonus point for being even more mainstream?

By: s.z.

s.z. — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 17:23:36 +0000

Oh, and I hate how your comment system never remembers me — it makes me feel so … so unvalued!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 17:22:50 +0000

Mr. or Ms. Fiend, here is your column: Christmas Encounter With a 'Radical Socialist' (You have to remember that most of these guys now talk about socialists, not commies.) And while I don't consider Doug Giles to be have any more gravitas than Doug Cherry (I mean, how much can it mean to be a TownHall columnist when they let Dr. Mike Adams write about a bad line in his performance evaluation for two weeks in a row), I still love Doug's column about the delicious tree of freedom, and the one about crack night in the ferret hut.

By: Jack of None

Jack of None — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 06:59:13 +0000

Holy shit, what kind of fucked up, abusive martial arts dojo did Vox Day go to, anyway? Why are people getting hurt so much? Don’t they teach the noble arts of Blocking and Getting the Hell Out of the Way? Seriously, I have seem dojos like that and they are not places to learn how to fight or be tough. They are places for closet sadists to beat the shit out of each other. It’s depressing.

Anyway, I make a second vote for Annie Jacobson’s “Terror in the Skies”. It’s total classic wingnuttery — a stupid, inane, and self-centered piece of privledged whining that other pundits somehow reworked into a national panic.

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 06:26:43 +0000

How could I have forgotten this classic in the WSJ: I had the most astonishing thought last Thursday. After a long day of hauling the kids to playdates and ballet, I turned on the news. And there was the president, landing on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln, stepping out of a fighter jet in that amazing uniform, looking--how to put it?--really hot. Also presidential, of course. Not to mention credible as commander in chief. But mostly "hot," as in virile, sexy and powerful.

By: t. fiend

t. fiend — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 06:20:02 +0000

You’ve got to include the now infamous column by ol’ randy Andy Sullivan where he made the comment that fighting in Iraq was preventing terrorist attacks in New York and London. That deserves some kind of special prize for tragic wrongness.

I would also like to nominate the column by Larry Elder where he accused his neighbor’s cat of being a communist. Some casual googling did not turn it up, but for anybody who feels like doing some legwork (this was sometime late 2003 to early 2004), it’s truly a beaut.

In Peggy Noonan’s case, there are so so many classic ones, but let us not forget the one about how George W. B*sh is like a fireman, putting out the fires of terrorism with his manly hose, while liberals stand around and want to talk about the fire’s feelings. That woman’s gonna need her own wing in the wingnut HOF (speaking of which, you’ll have to think about how to build a building that has two right wings.)

Finally, I’m nominating Dennis Prager’s classic series of columns about the tragic dangers of 13 year old girls in short skirts.

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 02:40:22 +0000

Kiche- Michelle deserves to be on there, but I couldn’t think of one *specific* column that was particularly abominable (v.s. most of her columns, which are merely generally abominable).

By: kiche

kiche — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 02:24:06 +0000

i vote for pastor swank.

(also, how did you leave michele malkin off this list)

By: Jefe

Jefe — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 01:36:48 +0000

Do WND columnists count? If so, one of my favorites is Vox Day's "Beating Down A Woman" column. He spends most of the column talking about how he beat up a lot of women during martial arts training, and enjoyed it. Then at the last paragraph, he tacks on a Jessica Lynch reference. LINK

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Thu, 21 Jul 2005 23:44:48 +0000

Also, let’s not forget Novak’s Plame column, since it might be the first piece of wingnuttery that’s technically illegal.

By: Yosef

Yosef — Thu, 21 Jul 2005 23:10:57 +0000

C’mon, you can’t forget the greatest of all wingnut articles! And the story of the relatively no-name writer who made it big with her first at bat. That’s right, Annie Jacobson and “Terror in the Skies”. I think that should be number one. I mean, think about it, it had everything you need to be wingnutty – a superiority complex of the author, fear of brown people, her ability not to realize that it was her actions that made them not be nice to her, rebukes by government officials saying that there was no problem (except that they were worried about her), and making something huge for everyone in the nation that should have been nothing. It’s the best ever.