Comments on: Kickin’ Off the Weekend With Pastor Swank

By: GeoX

GeoX — Sun, 17 Jul 2005 12:44:59 +0000

It’s a pretty middling film. Not worth seeing just for McCain.

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Sun, 17 Jul 2005 04:12:50 +0000

…a totally politically opportunistic presidential wannabe who in the meantime thoroughly tickles to every stroke provided him by either party, even those in Hollywood.
The lyricism of Pastor Swank’s prose, the images that it evokes, the “Huh?” that is uttered with the reading and re-reading of every line are unequaled in literature today. (Thank God!)

And what’s with the “global” stuff? I’ve noticed he uses it in nearly every column. Should we send him a thesaurus?

By: teh l4m3

teh l4m3 — Sun, 17 Jul 2005 03:35:24 +0000

Does that standing by Hillary thing work if you substitute another politician for her? I mean, if I stood right by Wes Clark and said he’d make a fine president, does that mean I couldn’t be julienned?

By: Anne

Anne — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 23:27:01 +0000

Honey, I knew I had forgotten to mention *something* he said, but there was just so much to remember.

By: Honey

Honey — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 11:59:58 +0000

I think a truly moral man would use the word “breasts” rather than “boobs.”

By: GuinnessGuy

GuinnessGuy — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 08:46:58 +0000

No kidding- McCain in The Wedding Crashers?
Fuckin’ A- I have got to see that.
(McCain + Boobs + Cursing = Sweet. He was actually pretty funny on SNL- granted, my standards for SNL has fallen dramatically over the years).

By: Anne

Anne — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 08:23:23 +0000

Isn’t slavery approved of in the Bible? So shouldn’t Pastor Swank be in favor of it? Or is he a moral relativist?

“Raunchy handbasket.” HAHAHA

Also, if you say enough times that Islam (a major world religion, whose Allah is the same as the Christian God) is a Satanic cult, why, then it magically becomes true.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 07:54:45 +0000

This business of Bush being not in favor of blacks is a myth as large as the one endorsing slavery in early America.

Uuhh… is he saying slavery was a myth? That’s not gonna win you many converts, Pastor Swank…

I think he is speaking of a “myth” that “endors[ed] slavery in early America”. That is, there was a myth common in early America that justified slavery; I’m not sure which myth he is refering to however (myth of bibical justification, blacks as lesser/non humans, etc). But I may be wrong.

Of course, his description of The Wedding Crashers just made me want to see it more. I like nothing better than long, gooy strings of foul language.

By: Thess

Thess — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 07:31:22 +0000

“Come on Moral Blacks, Back Amoral Bush”.

Heh.

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 06:27:56 +0000

When I be strokin’, I always leave my woman sassified. I can tell when my woman is sassified because when she’s sassified, she starts hollerin my name: “Pastor Swanky, Pastor Swanky, Pastor Swanky…”

“Stroke it Pastor Swanky, but don’t stroke too fast, and if my stuff ain’t tight enough, you can stick it up my… WOO! I be strokin’!”

By: Vestal Vespa

Vestal Vespa — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 06:27:07 +0000

And if a person is barely literate and writes bizarre columns about John McCain stroking boobs- that person is definitely pro-Mr. Bush.

*wiping coffee from monitor*

Oh, Swanky, Swanky Swanky. What the fuck kind of pills are you popping and can I have some?

By: Stacy Bt

Stacy Bt — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 06:19:34 +0000

Brad, you’re awesome.

Pastor Swank, you’re crazy. And also? You just pointed out that the religious leaders in Jesus’ day said he was Satan. Shouldn’t that mean that you should be realllly careful saying that some being that claims to be the deity is actually the devil??

By: Yosef

Yosef — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 06:17:18 +0000