Comments on: Shorter Pat Boone

By: 59lespaulcopy

59lespaulcopy — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:49:06 +0000

My god is a great and glorious panty-sniffing god. Not to mention the couch cushions.

By: tigrismus

tigrismus — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:12:53 +0000

If you think his eyes following you is bad, don’t click the link in the first comment.

Can I just say, worst Christmas gift evar? “I’d like to exchange this for a better quality item… and not in the extra-small, please.”

By: Gary Oldman

Gary Oldman — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:12:34 +0000

The fact is, the other Gary’s a pretty obvious closet case. On that TV there’s a woman with her breastuses hanging out, but he’s just been clockin’ ME. I know I’m pretty, but I ain’t as pretty as a coupla titties.

By: jim

jim — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:01:29 +0000

Undead crooner is undead.

Honestly unable to tell if his mug is shooped or not … & that’s just never a good thing.

But damn, would he make an awesome running-mate for Palin in 2012 or what?!? Name-brand recognition up the wazoo, & he can help Sarahcuda look more pitbullish too: Teh Wizard O’ Wonderbread probably uses more make-up & hairspray than she does … hell, they can even share wardrobes (within the bounds of “Wholesome GOP Traditional Family Values”) & save a small fortune.

Yes indeed, the 21st-Century GOP needs to pick Pat Boone for Veep. Older than McCain (possibly even creepier, too), fundamentalist as David Koresh & bland as sawdust – he’s perfect!

Haileselassielujah!

By: Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:48:45 +0000

…Pat Boone, who I swear to God I thought was dead…

I get the same thing with Chuck Norris.

By: Rusty Shackleford (not that one)

Rusty Shackleford (not that one) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:02:22 +0000

It’s almost 2009, why is it the only celebrities that are allowed to prattle about politics without being told to “shut up and sing” are washed out old hacks like this pitiful bastard and Chuck Norris?

Because the last thing anyone wants is for Pat Boone, who I swear to God I thought was dead, to sing.

By: Righteous Bubba

Righteous Bubba — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 16:54:29 +0000

RB, where can I get more JanusNode structures (e.g., recipes) and stuff?

I believe the site has some additional packages. If you want send me an e-mail and I’ll send you what I have; the problem might be that I’ve modified many of the files so they may contain additional surprises or problems.

One of the easiest ways to start is to copy some ASCII text into the JanusNode output window and hit “Make TextDNA”.

By: J—

J— — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:01:09 +0000

The fact is, Pat Boone understands that any deviation from the American English system of spelling breaks the line between civilization and barbarism and endangers the Heartland.

By: WereBear

WereBear — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 13:40:48 +0000

Speaking of weird eyes following you:

http://991.com/newgallery/Pat-Boone-Speedy-Gonzalez-272910.jpg

I just have no words.

By: ice weasel

ice weasel — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 13:39:09 +0000

boone’s made an entire of being a paid shill, a hack and a pretender. His only talent lies in his willingness to geek for whomever happens to be writing the checks.

By: Arky - Sexual Jihadist

Arky - Sexual Jihadist — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 13:08:19 +0000

Someone check Gary Ruppert’s spark plugs, he’s running really rough these days.

By: Gary Ruppert

Gary Ruppert — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:41:56 +0000

The fact is, Pat Boone is a great American and you who criticise him and just terrorists who hate USA.

By: lesserdevil

lesserdevil — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:23:23 +0000

@ M. Bouffant I didn’t see this until this morning. Just to be clear, the first thing I thought was, “Wow, what a nice unicorn. Pat Boone really knows how to spread the magic.”

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 10:35:23 +0000

Although “kettle of cuttlefish” and “bidet of snapper” are more poetic.
One Kettle of fish is a recognised unit in the Apothecary system, equal to 17.2 fluid ounces.

By: Another Kiwi

Another Kiwi — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:53:03 +0000

Pat Boone, the unfunny Eric Olthwaite. A boring little tit.

By: Big Bad Bald Bastard

Big Bad Bald Bastard — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:22:32 +0000

So, what do sexual jihadis get in heaven… seventy-two hussies?

By: RUGGED IN MONTANA

RUGGED IN MONTANA — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 08:55:24 +0000

Damn! He looks like Dale Evans!

By: Zuzu's Petals

Zuzu's Petals — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 08:50:33 +0000

The Constitution says nothing about marriage, and shouldn't.

He says, without a hint of irony.

SECTION 2. Section 7.5 is added to Article I of the California Constitution, to read: SEC. 7.5. Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Proposition 8

By: Brian X

Brian X — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:47:00 +0000

Pat Boone: the Vanilla Ice of early rock and roll, and the entire country’s right-wing-crap-forwarding grandfather.

By: pedestrian

pedestrian — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 06:49:29 +0000

One cup of elk is funnier than one cup of jackfish, pipefish, snapper, etc. It’s a crazy fucking world.

Although “kettle of cuttlefish” and “bidet of snapper” are more poetic.