14
In Which We Meet Our Match
Our guest today is AJ Strata, a wingnut of some prior achievement who seems lately to have come into his métier, if ‘métier’ were the French word for pants.
The Obama Administration Is Now Damaged Goods, Obama Lied To America
Update: A consensus is brewing about Obama’s pending troubles – see here, here, here and here.
I’d just like to say. Perhaps the moment when the American consensus came undone was when Flopping Aces, Gateway Pundit, Ed Morrissey, and Bruce “QandO” McQuain were said to form ‘a consensus’ without the eruption of a laugh track, specifically a budget-grade, off-the-shelf Sid and Marty Krofft one with audible splices and too few unique laugh samples, furnished with gratuitous, comedy-signaling ‘floop!’ ‘boing!’ and ‘bow-oom!’ noises for the inattentive, of such a type as was uncaringly post-productioned, by order of bored, neatly black-bearded, pinky-ringed impresarios and assistant sub-impresarios of a silk-shirted “quality, schmality” Porsche 924-driving, pre- and/or post-divorce, bankruptcy-bait, San Fernando starter-mansion, web-of-lies-unraveling, found-dead-of-apparent-gunshot-suicide variety, into the soundtracks of shows such as Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, Kaptain Kool and the Kongs, and Far Out Space Nuts, not to mention unbelievably drugged-out stoner rampages like Lidsville and HR Pufnstuf, to be experienced at the comedy-numbing hour of 7:30AM, over the rim of a cereal bowl and through a plastic tumbler of reconstituted frozen orange juice concentrate, as it were.
Consider this, then, that laugh track.
Major Update Below!
The big dominos seem to be falling already, less than a week from the news breaking. I simply cannot fathom the damage Barack Obama and Rahm Emmanuel have done to their incoming administration, a month before it takes office. But I do know they dealt hit a critical blow this week. Barack Obama has just been exposed as a liar to the American people. He lied to us in a manner that puts him in the same league as Bill Clinton, Senator Ted Stevens, Senator Robert Torricelli, Rep Randy “Duke” Cunningham and Rep William Jefferson. We have yet to know what, if any, crimes Obama has committed. But the fact is1 this week he went out and lied straight to the American people. He tried to cover his tracks.
Here is the lie, which caught my eye because of the phrasing Obama was using during his press conference on Daschle’s appointment:
But let’s slow down here. Could this be the stupidest thing ever written on purpose? It seems unlikely, but it’s difficult to judge at the moment, consumed as we are by the distinct, but apparently miscible sensations of joyful marvelment (it’s genuinely a bit thrilling to see, isn’t it?) and what a cow must feel at the moment the pneumatic bolt hits its skull.
We’ll be back with more on this remarkable essai later, as soon as Moo? [bonk] manage to stop the Moo? [bonk] endless loop of Moo? [bonk].
1 In this we are reminded of Mr. AJ Strata, who is literally in the same league, for certain definitions of ‘league,’ as Rev. Gary “Two Wetsuits” Aldridge. We have yet to know what, if any, acts of comically deranged sexual perversion he has engaged in, or whether the newspapers will again avoid reporting the dildos that are found in anuses, if any. But the fact is…
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:11
…as it were.
Best sentence evar. Though it pains me to think of Sid and Marty Krofft stuff anymore because I really, really loved all those shows when I was a kid, and I have a hard time justifying that to myself even with the fact that I was a kid as an excuse.
Anyway – what was the lie that’s already killed the new administration? Your link seemed to work, but my browser must like me because the site never actually loaded.
PeeJ said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:14
Seeing ‘miscible’ in print – THAT’s thrilling. Bravo, young fella.
PeeJ said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:16
Can anyone else get to the “lie is here” link? Or has the hyperdense obtuseness collapsed the internets upon itself in that vicinity?
Fozzetti said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:20
An Iraqi reporter threw BOTH his shoes at Pres Bush TODAY, and called him “A Dog”, both serious serious INSULTS in the Arabic world.
What I am wondering is, exactly which sound effect should accompany the inevitable YouTube Video: “Whaa-Whaaaaa!” “Boing! Boing!” Or perhaps it should just be an extended laugh-track which includes that Guy…you know, the one who…and then he….
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:23
An Iraqi reporter threw BOTH his shoes at Pres Bush TODAY, and called him “A Dog”, both serious serious INSULTS in the Arabic world.
Wow. That’s as close as Bush is going to get to having roses thrown at him, I suspect. Did the shoes shatter his dumbass “I’m teh hero of everybody” bubble?
Edmund Schluessel said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:24
the Google Cache link seems to be down too, but from what I can gather from other links that point to the original link, the accusation is that
Obama, according to Advisor B, one of Blagojevich’s advisors cited on page 68 of the complaint, wanted to avoid any “fingerprints” in any arrangement made with Blagojevich. And Blagojevich, according to page 57 of the complaint, sought to “conduct indirectly … a negotiation” with Obama. Nothing could be in writing, and everything must be indirect: this is why Obama’s attempt to appear transparent with a release of all direct communications with Blagojevich’s office is irrelevant.
In other worse, the fact that no evidence of communications taking place between Obama and Blagojevich exists proves that communications did, in fact, take place.
I actually had to force myself to write the above sentence. My fingers wouldn’t accept anything quite that illogical on their own.
Edmund Schluessel said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:27
Ah, the Google Cache version is just very very very slow. On further reading, the thing that bunches Strata’s panties is that Obama’s team may have indeed had contact with Blagojevich’s team on some subject at some point.
g said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:31
Oh, are we kicking Presidents out of office because of lying now?
Mr. Wonderful said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:31
As someone with whom Obama did not confer, I of course lack ample evidence of that conference. It is for this reason that I cannot comment on what Obama did or, for that matter, diddy-did say or not say, depending on what was said or not.
Sign me,
Advisor X
(“Where the X stands for “Excellent Advice”)
Simba B said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:34
People having trouble with the Google Cache link are probably loading images, which load from the originating site (which is down). Try this.
I thought Obama had him murdered…?
Edmund Schluessel said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:34
Person in the comments is now calling for an investigation into third-party contacts between Obama’s team and Blagojevich’s team.
In other words, it’s incriminating now if Obama talked to someone who talked to someone who talked to someone who talked to Blagojevich.
I wonder what fraction of the public, Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever, is within five degrees of separation of Gov. Blagojevich? It’s gotta be at least everyone in Illinois…
jurassicpork said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:36
Iraqi journalist throws shoes at Bush. Yet the Bush legacy road show endlessly continues, slouching toward Bethlehem while Bwana insists he never felt threatened by the attempted attack.
g said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:37
Here’s a link to the video Shoe throwing
it’s awesome.
Cletus von Clausewitz said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:37
what a friggin’ surprize. A smart politician tries to “arm’s length” himself away from a bonehead crook, while still having to deal with the guy. We should be applauding Obama’s perspicacac…perspack…forethought.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:38
I thought Obama had him murdered…?
It’s the Chicago city comptrollers that have such a short life expectancy, but I imagine the state one isn’t exactly out of the woods.
g said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:38
Here’s a video link to the shoe-throwing
And fuck you, WordPress.
g said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:38
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=11096194&ch=4226713&src=news
Fucking wordpress.
That’s a link to the video of the shoe-throwing. It’s awesome.
Jennifer said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:40
Instead of Blagojevich, why don’t we all just agree to call him “Blagojagoff.”
It’s easier to say, and it’s more accurate as well.
Fozzetti said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:45
“g” Thanks! That reporter was a really good shot, too. Pity Bush ducked. Like Regan, its his best skill. Oh wait, Regan “forgot” to duck. Tch-tch!
Snorghagen said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:48
Damn! There’s no evidence that most of the planet’s population ever communicated with Blagojevich. The web of corruption is far-reaching.
g said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:49
I have to confess, I’ve never communicated with Blagojevich.
Fozzetti said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:49
By The Way, OT but: I am currently involved with a dispute with a seller on ebay. After I won my items for an embarrassingly low price, I found I could not pay the seller on paypal, because he’d sent me the wrong account #, and would not reply to my requests for the correct number.
ANYHOW he re-listed the items, sold one for more money than I would have paid, and complained to eBay about my non-payment of the other. So I’m suspended (Sob!). I don’t mind much, but I am sending as many annoying complaints to ebay Customer Service as I can think of.
Any suggestions? after all, flamemails are better than violence…aren’t they?
Woodrowfan said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:51
I never talked to Blagojevich on multiple occasions and neither did my wife…
Woodrowfan said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:53
As for shoes, let us not forget how, when that giant statue of Saddam was pulled down in Baghdad, that some repuks made a huge deal of how some Iraqis were hitting it with their shoes. That showed how much they hated Saddam!
The Cat said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:00
Isn’t PayPal based on email address? I’ve used it both in the US and DE, and I can’t recall ever seeing an account *number*.
And since eBay bought PayPal, the two systems have been tightly integrated, so any seller who accepts PayPal should do it directly through the auction page. If that wasn’t the case, I’d expect something fishy.
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:02
Jesus, this is stupid.
I wonder if Strata thinks that this level of scrutiny is appropriate for sitting presidents and his non-elected staff.
Also,
…really sums it up.
J— said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:02
Obama, according to Advisor B, one of Blagojevich’s advisors cited on page 68 of the complaint, wanted to avoid any “fingerprints” in any arrangement made with Blagojevich.
This is a mischaracterization of the indictment’s language. Here is what it says on page 68 (pdf):
The indictment identifies Advisor B as “a Washington D.C.-based consultant” (p. 60). No more, no less.
As far as I can tell, the argument is built on the assumption that Advisor B had ties to Obama and that Advisor B spoke on Obama’s behalf with regard to the fingerprints. The information the indictment provides and its phrasing do not allow for this conclusion.
Snorghagen said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:03
I don’t have a wife or kids – but if I did, I’m sure they wouldn’t have communicated with Blagojevich. That being the case, I don’t see how I can escape responsibility for the non-communication of these non-existent individuals.
His Grace said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:04
Waitaminute… I think we are too quick to dismiss all the evidence of Obama not being implicated or linked to anything without engaging in enough random conjecture and baseless speculation. Perhaps the list of candidates acceptable to Obama includes his father Malcolm X and Prime Minister Odinga of Kenya. Perhaps The Illinois state comptroller was secretly born on the Moon as part of the Apollo program and is, like Obama, an illegal alien.
mikey said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:05
A confession.
A long time ago, I had sex with a woman who would later go on to give birth to a person who worked in close proximity to Governor Eyechart. I’m pretty sure that makes me an unindicted co-conspirator, and Obama impeachable.
Dammit. Sorry…
mikey
Susan of Texas said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:07
I admit it, my kids did talk to them. After two solid hours of descriptions of Pokemon characters, Batman villains, and a step-by-step replay of the last video games played, the Blogster begged to be sent to jail.
mikey said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:15
Um, I HAVE to interrupt with a question.
During the football games the last couple of weeks, Lexus, Acura and Mercedes have all run commercials suggesting their luxury automobiles as christmas presents.
Really? In THIS economic climate, where people are losing their jobs and cutting back on just about everything, a company determines that they can convince people to buy fifty thousand dollar cars as christmas presents?
Never mind the MarCom “Big Picture Guy” suit that thought this campaign up. I want to meet the executives who thought “hey, that just might work!”
mikey
pat said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:16
This got buried as the last comment on another thread, so here goes again, in case anyone is interested:
Read Frank Rich in today’s NY Times for a perspective on corruption.
Me said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:17
If there’s to be any noteworthy corruption in the Obama administration, my guess is that it won’t happen for at least a couple of years. The guy is just too smart, and his ship too tight, to allow for this kind of penny-ante bullshit within weeks of the election.
I’ve already predicted that he’ll be the most apologetic President in history. That’ll be partly due to the inevitable awakening of the slumbering press, of course (the election of a Democrat is like an alarm clock to those people), but it’s also because of Obama’s naturally conciliatory nature. He’ll make “I apologize if anyone was offended” a national catchphrase.
pat said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:18
Also, there are still the same crazy persons at Salon, going on for days and days about how Obama has not yet shown them his Long Form Birth Certificate, which he supposedly does not have access to.
I guess if he can be accused of not providing something he doesn’t have, it’s a snap to accuse him of conversations he can not be shown to have had.
J— said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:21
Also, reading Obama’s full statement—not selective quoting of it—makes clear that when he talks about having no contact with the governor, it’s in the context of the discussions to trade the Senate seat for compensation.
Some Guy said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:25
Wow. A bunch of nutjobs who’ve been saying that Obama is a terrorist, a communist, and a Cylon skinjob, now say he’s a liar. I can’t fathom why the LIEbrul MSM haven’t picked up on this.
Mikey, all car companies would like you to believe that surprising your wife with a purchase of a $40,000 car is a good thing. They are wrong.
Loneoak said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:26
Ah, classic wingnut logic: “The lack of evidence of P conclusively demonstrates P.”
Cases in point:
1) WMD
2) Everything ever said about Obama
3) Intelligent Design
4) Dick Cheney is a human
owlbear1 said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:28
The complete lack of a non-arrest, along with the total absence of -$4,500 almost completely doesn’t convince me that Obama did; in fact, have Blagojevich arrested for getting uppity.
Hümor Me said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:29
That guy had an eternity to throw those shoes. Then another reporter stands between him and Bush for a bit until secret service arrives.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:30
It’s pretty obvious that the Kenyan-born Obama is in deep trouble.
Obama’s citizenship lie is exposed on the front of the newspaper the Globe. The fact is that Obama was born in Kenya to Barack Hussein Obama Sr, and Obama’s Kenyan wife. Obama presented young Barack to Ann Dunham as a gift. Obama was born before August and the birth was presented as a birth in Hawaii to avoid charges of infidelity.
Obama was also seeking to sell his Senate seat for campaign contributions, but he decided to throw Blagojevich to the wolves to make himself look better and to throw people off of his trail.
Loneoak said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:31
WaPo sez this of the shoe-throwing: “Throwing a shoe at someone is considered the worst possible insult in Iraq, and is meant to show extreme disrespect and hatred towards someone.”
Which raises the highly pertinent question: what would you throw at W if given the chance?
I think I would wrap a copy of the Bill of Rights around a brick.
Jennifer said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:31
During the football games the last couple of weeks, Lexus, Acura and Mercedes have all run commercials suggesting their luxury automobiles as christmas presents.
Really? In THIS economic climate, where people are losing their jobs and cutting back on just about everything, a company determines that they can convince people to buy fifty thousand dollar cars as christmas presents?
mikey, the only people who could EVER afford to give someone an expensive car as a Christmas gift still have plenty of money – it’s just that none of the rest of us do. But since we never were able to afford to give people expensive cars as Christmas gifts, fortunately, we don’t matter.
Ripley said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:32
Has A.J. Strata had any contact with Blagojevich?
QEmotherbleepinD, motherbleeper!
Simba B said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:34
Link, Gary? I could use a laugh.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:40
Here’s the preview of the Obama bombshell. If he was born in America, why hasn’t he produced a birth certificate?
Hümor Me said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:41
So, Gary. Obama’s a full negro huh? That should be a comfort to a lot of people.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:43
Do you mean the vault-copy, Mr. Ruppert?
owlbear1 said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:45
Well DUH Gary, of course Obama doesn’t have a birth certificate. He is the Anti-Christ, remember?
Jan. 20th MUST be the date of the Rapture. If you’re still here on Jan 21st.?
Well Gary, you know what that means…
Julia Grey said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:47
Those oily “she’ll love you if you get her a Lexus” car commercials have been on for several of the last few years. I hate the hell out of them.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:52
a company determines that they can convince people to buy fifty thousand dollar cars as christmas presents?
Well, a bunch of people on Wall Street just got some very fat Christmas bonuses that are burning holes in their pockets.
what would you throw at W if given the chance?
That old Matt T. Exile article about throwing a horse-semen pie in Michael Wines’ face gives me an idea.
N.C. said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:52
I saw The Globe at the pharmacy today. I’m glad the celebrity tabloids are the new papers of record in this post-11/4 world.
arouet said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:57
“…who seems lately to have come into his métier, if ‘métier’ were the French word for pants.”
This is why I love Sadly, No!
Susan of Texas said,
December 14, 2008 at 22:58
what would you throw at W if given the chance?
A tank.
tigrismus said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:01
what would you throw at W if given the chance?
Dick Cheney. From a great height.
Smut Clyde said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:07
John Cole covered the story a day earlier. Also at Balloon Juice you get
cookiesactual comments from AJ Strata. Gavin must try harder.DrDick said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:07
A consensus has been reached that the 79% of the American people (including a plurality of Republicans) who have a favorable impression of Obama are wrong and do not count.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:13
AJ Strata breaks out his smelling salts and heads back to his basement.
(Thanks for the tip, S.C.)
~
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:13
If Obama can be impeached before he takes office, he should be able to pardon people before he takes office, too. He can just say that Blago and Rezko and Ayers are perfect awesome heroes and then everybody wins forever!
tigrismus said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:18
You folks do know cussing is a clear sign that your intellectual limit has been reached and you’re straining to compile a rational argument?
I thought it was a clear sign one was reared in a barn. Or was it by wolves? Sailors? Lupine barn-pirates?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:19
AJStrata Says: [...] Take care John.
The inability to use a comma before the name of someone they’re addressing seems to be a signature wingnut punctuation fail. Anyone else notice that?
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:19
Don’t disrespect our wolf-mom!
Loneoak said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:21
Lupine barn-pirates?
ARRRR GRRRR.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:23
Lupine barn-pirates?
Lord Lupine Barn-Pirates, 23rd Earl of Awesome-Bandname-on-Thread.
DrDick said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:25
I was raised by hillbilly wolves who didn’t have no fucking barn. My grandfather’s favorite word was “sonofabitch” which appeared at about every third word in every utterance.
Snorghagen said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:31
This asshole is accusing me of resorting to rational arguments?! Fuckshitpisscrap!!!
dave said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:33
AJ Strata seems to have goat blowing down to a science.
DrDick said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:37
AJ Strata seems to have given goat blowing a bad name.
Scott said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:37
Ah, brilliant. That Globe.
And the Weekly World News says Bat Boy is a race car driver!
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:39
The fact is lib vile bile
Is due to lefty denial
The one is from Kenya
Blago he’s been seeing ya
And now the reichtards can smile.
MzNicky said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:44
g: Thanks for the shoe-throwing link. Awesome. I’d ask if Chimpy has any clue what it means in that culture to have had not one but two shoes thrown at you, but, well.
Also: These fuckwits actually think Obama, who was smart enough to become prez despite not only the Rethuglican machine but the Clintons as well, would now let it all be undone by playing “Lets Make A Deal” with a dumbass thug like Blago? What’s the word, what’s the word I’m looking for: solipsism?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:48
What’s the word, what’s the word I’m looking for: solipsism?
“Projection”, I think. They believe Obama would act like them.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:49
There’s good cause to believe that Obama was born of two non-citizens in Kenya.
Anyways, the Obama camp has already proven itself to be lying when they claimed that Obama’s team never discussed selling the Senate seat with Blagojevich.
As for the incident in Iraq, that person should have been arrested and sent to Guantanamo for trying to assassinate the President.
Scott said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:52
There’s also good cause to believe that Bat Boy is a race car driver.
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:53
lso: These fuckwits actually think Obama, who was smart enough to become prez despite not only the Rethuglican machine but the Clintons as well, would now let it all be undone by playing “Lets Make A Deal” with a dumbass thug like Blago? What’s the word, what’s the word I’m looking for: solipsism?
MzNicky, these are the same people who thank the shrub for defending us from terrra-ists, when his record is 1) being warned about Bin Laden, 2) “You’ve covered your ass, now”, 3) Reading “The Pet Goat” and then going into hiding during the worst terrorist attack on the nation in history, and 4) Lying about 1,2, and 3.
They’re insane, and inane. They can’t be reasoned with, or bargained with. They must be mocked relentlessly until normal society in this country dismisses them, completely.
We have a long way to go.
DrDick said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:53
They believe Obama would act like them.
That is the ultimate failure of the conservative worldview. They firmly believe that everyone is the same kind of lying, selfish, self-centered, amoral, dishonest, intolerant scum that they are.
mikey said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:54
Yeah, it’s pretty funny.
But when you think about it, this shoe-throwing thing seems, well, poorly thought out. If you chuck your shoes at some dood ’cause you think he’s an assclown, you then have to trudge home in your socks. I mean, sure, you made your statement, but who won and who lost?
I hate to go all american exceptional on you, but our tradition of flinging rotten fruit is MUCH better on so many levels. I mean, you don’t pay big money for rotten fruit, it’s not part of your issue gear, and it’s a little more effective due to the smell and texture.
Of course, at any given moment you are a lot more likely to have a shoe near to hand than an old soft tomato, but like so many things, it’s about PLANNING people…
mikey
tigrismus said,
December 14, 2008 at 23:56
As for the incident in Iraq, that person should have been arrested and sent to Guantanamo for trying to assassinate the President.
This is true, as we discussed shoes-as-deadly-weapons in regards to the Jena case in a prior thread.
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:00
Before criticising anyone in Iraq, you should first walk a mile in his shoes, so you can throw them at GW Bush.
The insurgency is in its last throws.
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:03
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:00
The insurgency is in its last throws.
===========================================================
And the clock stops. Mr. Clyde wins, game over.
J— said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:04
The inability to use a comma before the name of someone they’re addressing seems to be a signature wingnut punctuation fail. Anyone else notice that?
In what respect Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:05
Mr. Clyde wins, game over.
It’s official.
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:05
you’re straining to compile a rational argument?
COMPILER ERROR 72
FUNCTION REQUIRES INTEGER ARGUMENTS
PISS FUCK BOOBIES
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:06
And the clock stops. Mr. Clyde wins, game over.
I think we should begin referring to this as the “Hammer of Clyde”.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:06
In what respect Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist?
Well actually if you wanna know the truth it may just be an early sign of a worldwide comma shortage.
J— said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:07
You folks do know cussing is a clear sign that your intellectual limit has been reached and you’re straining to compile a rational argument?
Fuck, the jig is up! And gone!
Snorghagen said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:09
There’s even better reason to believe that Obama was born in a remote castle in the Carpathians to Count Alucard and his vampire slave Lola Smeguzic. Overwhelming evidence can be found here and here.
tigrismus said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:14
I think we should begin referring to this as the “Hammer of Clyde”.
“Smut Mallet”? “Herr Doctor Hammler?”
George W. Bush said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:15
Help! I’ve been shod!
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:17
“Herr Doktor’s Infamous Buzzer Beater”
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:18
“Smut Mallet”?
Now that has real potential.
norbizness said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:19
The Iraqis are pikers compared to the Venezuelans: Only when the mob was left behind did the Nixons take out handkerchiefs to wipe the saliva from their faces and clothes.
g said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:20
If you chuck your shoes at some dood ’cause you think he’s an assclown, you then have to trudge home in your socks. I mean, sure, you made your statement, but who won and who lost?
Maybe he brought a spare pair.
Susan of Texas said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:25
There must be a lot of shoes lying around Iraq, whose owners have been permanently freed of their possession.
Bush should have ben boinked with Smut Clyde’s Silver Hammer upon birth.
Loneoak said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:25
Shall we call it “The Great Cobbler Clobber”?
MzNicky said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:27
By the way, Gavin: That was sheer pleasure to read. Thank you. Also, thanks for fixing the InterTubes forever and ever.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:27
But when you think about it, this shoe-throwing thing seems, well, poorly thought out.
I agree.
Lobbing a sack of shit at the sack of shit would have had more symmetry.
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:28
Only when the mob was left behind did the Nixons take out handkerchiefs to wipe the saliva from their faces and clothes.
Given half a chance, I would have done far worse than spit on the bastard. sonofabitch drafted my ass and sent the country on its current track to hell.
Another kiwi said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:29
Those Lupine Barn Wolves are just a straw wolf argument.
Another kiwi said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:30
Wolves, pirates WTF? It’s friggin Monday morning here.
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:35
I am a Pirate Wolf sailing the Rocky Mountain high!
McJohn said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:39
Ms. of Texas:
“Boinked” or “bonked”?
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:40
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:35
I am a Pirate Wolf sailing the Rocky Mountain high!
============================================================
Pirate Wolf is NO MATCH for Pirate Air-Wolf
(And no, I can’t lone you $50,000. Or loan you, whatevuh!)
~
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:40
“Boinked” or “bonked”?
These are not mutually exclusive choices you know.
lesserdevil said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:47
I must immerse myself in boiling water. This particular variety of stupid is incredibly potent, even contagious. Better to scald off several layers of flesh than to come down with the strata.
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 0:55
And the clock stops.
Oddly enough, this was not the first time when I was congratulated for my ability to stop clocks.
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:02
Oddly enough, this was not the first time when I was congratulated for my ability to stop clocks.
Now that is a talent with real potential. You should try marketing it to the wingnuts. they have been trying to stop the clocks for generations. Now if you could actually turn the clocks backward, that would be a real money maker.
Dan said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:09
I was more than willing to give Obama a shot. But his followers were living a dream come true – or so they thought.
I will not be lied to and right now my view of Obama is totally shattered.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Susan of Texas said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:13
I was thinking of cartoon violence, like BAM! and OOMPH! But only Frued knows for sure.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:20
Wow. Wow. Wow.
Yeah. I haven’t seen that exact species of anti-Obama concern trolling since, oh, seven weeks ago, when it might conceivably have had some kind of effect.
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:20
I was thinking of cartoon violence
Cartoon violence for a cartoon president seems entirely appropriate. Have to say, however, that I rather enjoyed the image of Dubya being first bonked and then boinked with Smut Clyde’s Silver Hammer (sounds truly painful).
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:22
I haven’t seen that exact species of anti-Obama concern trolling
Isn’t that a variant of the NoCents/PUMA trolling?
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:25
“Boinked” or “bonked”?
These are not mutually exclusive choices you know.
You try telling the Council of Nicaea that “homoiousian” and “homoousian” are not mutually exclusive.
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:33
You try telling the Council of Nicaea that “homoiousian” and “homoousian” are not mutually exclusive.
Heretic!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:44
Isn’t that a variant of the NoCents/PUMA trolling?
I think so – it might be Trollius Concernicus Pumaii var. SecurityMom.
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:54
“The insurgency is in its last throws.”
Priceless.
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 1:56
You try telling the Council of Nicaea
I ain’t saying nothing to those heretical persecutors of the one true faith.
justme said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:09
God. Hows about that “Free Blago” banner over at Gateway Pud. A part of me has to believe that it’s ironic. Then the rest of me realizes what I’m looking at. They just love a crook of any stripe at all.
I suppose it’s just another “Hey! Watch me piss off the hippies by sticking knitting needles in my eyes” thing, but still. Wow.
Also, and off topic, if a headline like “Fed Refuses to Disclose Recipients of $2 Trillion “ doesn’t spur the economy with sales of pitchforks and torches, where exactly is the point that finally does the trick? Are we really just beaten dogs too weary even to snap at the fist?
Gibbon said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:12
The single iota separating ‘bonked’ and ‘boinked’ marked a distinction invisible to all but the nicest theological eye.
justme said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:13
♫Bonk, boink, Smut Clyde’s Silver Hammer…♫
Dr. Squid said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:23
Flopping Aces, Gateway Pundit, Ed Morrissey, and Bruce “QandO” McQuain were said to form ‘a consensus’
Time to cue Yakety Sax while they run around in circles.
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:26
My magic silver hammer — sometimes it is small enough to fit inside my tunic, yet when I want, it gets larger.
WereBear said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:44
Talk about your moral hazard…
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:46
Talk about your moral hazard…
I always try to wear a full hazmat suit when dealing with them.
mikey said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:49
Things I keep in my tunic:
Most of a turkey sammich.
Roofing nails.
12′ elastic bandage.
Small bunch bananas.
Half ton pneumatic jack.
A shepherd’s staff
Dried peas.
Small metallic meteorite
mikey
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:55
Just how does one brew a consensus, anyway?
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 2:58
Just how does one brew a consensus, anyway?
With a French press, of course. I use 2 tablespoons per cup for a robust brew.
Another Kiwi said,
December 15, 2008 at 3:10
Brewing a consensus of wingnuts has an essential dichotomy of being very easy as well as incredibly difficult. The proper fluids must be in the fermentation vessel in the correct proportions. The vessel must be heated by the flames of idiocy, aggressive anti-intellectualism and general hot air. Fart methane will add an extra piquancy.
The essential fluids are Bile, oil of wormwood, saliva, flop sweat and manroot juice.
The liquid, called a weirt is fermented by the micro-organism Schizomycetes pombi more commonly called “A germ of an idea”.
Cheetos can be added after fermentation commences.
The product is best consumed quickly since any sort of daylight or warmth will cause it to evaporate at an exponential rate. However the overall effect of the brew is inconsequential and has been described by seasoned consensus tasters as “weak as gnat’s piss” No comparative tasting has been reported however and the volatile nature of the product prevents rational examination.
tigrismus said,
December 15, 2008 at 3:17
My magic silver hammer — sometimes it is small enough to fit inside my tunic, yet when I want, it gets larger.
Dear Sir: your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your highly illustrated newsletter.
g said,
December 15, 2008 at 3:23
Just how does one brew a consensus, anyway?
Well, first you have to grind the wingnuts fine in a coffee or spice blender.
kg said,
December 15, 2008 at 3:23
dude must get some solace from hitting the us flag after missing his target. Bush still had that smirk plastered to his face even after the first shoe flew.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 15, 2008 at 3:40
Bush still had that smirk plastered to his face even after the first shoe flew.
Probably thought it was yet another dumbshit fratboy prank in a life that’s been an endless string of them.
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 3:50
the first shoe flew.
Another milestone in evolution.
Another Kiwi said,
December 15, 2008 at 3:59
There was shoe fly pie involved?
Romulus and Remus™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:04
If the shoes fit, d00d’s gotta wear ‘em.
~
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:11
And if the manacles fit…
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:13
And if the manacles fit…
Frog March!
rickygee said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:17
Regarding the shoe incident, that was no “lame duck” on Bush’s part.
bravo sir!
pedestrian said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:24
It is very suspicious that he waited until after the seat became available to accuse Blago of selling it. I wonder what other future crimes he may be hiding?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:26
The Flying Shoes
monkey knife fight said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:37
what would you throw at W if given the chance?
Peter North, in mid-orgasm.
Brandi said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:41
What I am wondering is, exactly which sound effect should accompany the inevitable YouTube Video
Yakety Sax’d probably work as a soundtrack.
DrDick said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:43
what would you throw at W if given the chance?
A flaming sack of choleric shit.
WereBear said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:50
what would you throw at W if given the chance?
The Book.
jim said,
December 15, 2008 at 4:59
Strata’s cameo in the Balloon Juice comments is pretty wacked – he does a bit of concern-trolling while claiming to be pro-Obama (yeah, I’m sure ALL the folks who support Obama consider places like Hot Air or Gateway Pud-Hit to be academic powerhouses whose integrity is like unto titanium), gets butthurt about people using dirty words in the process of pwning his sad ass, & evaporates.
Just another Turd Blossom wannabe.
Riffing on the original idea – a subpoena wrapped around a rock.
Runner-up: when what you have to say really matters … say it with napalm.
Jennifer said,
December 15, 2008 at 5:13
what would you throw at W if given the chance?
A…uh…guillotine!!!
I’d get banned for that by Atrios.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 5:14
What if people in this country held their shoes in the air as a protest whenever Bush makes an appearance?
(Probably a moot idea…I don’t expect the clown will be making more appearances here.)
Candy's Shaggy Dog said,
December 15, 2008 at 5:34
If the shoes fit, d00d’s gotta wear ‘em.
I hate to miss an opportunity to inflict a lame joke on folks.
Rugosa said,
December 15, 2008 at 5:39
mikey – more reasons why you should bear my children.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 5:40
I hate to miss an opportunity to inflict a lame joke on folks.
Seconded!
Jennifer said,
December 15, 2008 at 6:25
…if the foo shits, wear it.
Ok, don’t make me tell the one about the difference between a band of pygmies and a women’s track team. Y’see, the pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts…
Candy's Shaggy Dog said,
December 15, 2008 at 6:39
Y’see, the pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts…
I can’t help it, I fucking love stuff like that! I suppose I was dropped on me head as a rugrat.
cur said,
December 15, 2008 at 7:00
Well, then, CDS,
What’s the difference between W after a moving Sunday sermon and a nun in a bath tub?
After church, W has a soul full of hope. Whereas the nun has.. well you know.
jim said,
December 15, 2008 at 7:02
Deliciously OT: when something’s this good, you want it to last forever.
Give ol’ Shiny-Nose credit – he’s game enough to stand there like a fencepost with that bolted-on smirk while the intrpid reporter reloads. Deuced sporting of him, eh what?
justme said,
December 15, 2008 at 7:09
Didn’t we just do the “immortal porpoises” joke yesterday?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 15, 2008 at 7:13
Give ol’ Shiny-Nose credit – he’s game enough to stand there like a fencepost with that bolted-on smirk while the intrpid reporter reloads. Deuced sporting of him, eh what?
Note that the Secret Service didn’t go after the reporter until he was out of ammunition.
justme said,
December 15, 2008 at 7:15
#7
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 15, 2008 at 7:29
Note that the Secret Service didn’t go after the reporter until he was out of ammunition.
That man behind the shoe-thrower seemed to be trying to stop him – was that another reporter? I can just imagine him saying “Dude! What the fuck! Are you trying to get us all shot?”
Candy's Shaggy Dog said,
December 15, 2008 at 7:46
I thought the Secret Service did indeed seem more than a little dilatory. Did they trot out the “D” team once W became the lamest duck in history? I just hope they’re a bit quicker on the uptake if Obama ever becomes the object of shoe hurling.
zer said,
December 15, 2008 at 9:08
what would you throw at W if given the chance?
Six hundred thousand to a million dead Iraqis depending on which estimate you believe.
Robert Green said,
December 15, 2008 at 9:12
i think “lame duck” comment above may actually outpoint smut clyde on clever, yet now with intentional! 30% more!!!!
OneMan said,
December 15, 2008 at 9:30
“what would you throw at W if given the chance?”
Dick Cheney.
Anne Laurie said,
December 15, 2008 at 11:24
Which raises the highly pertinent question: what would you throw at W if given the chance?
Demon Kishkan, the ertsaz Maine Coon who shares our household. Pointy side leading.
If political credentials are required, I will wrap a copy of the Constitution around her waist first.
Since I throw like a girl, I would encourage more skilled projectalists to take my place in the queue, and I’ll even bring the leather rose gauntlets.
On the more personal S,N side: What, no trebuchet jokes yet?
shaun said,
December 15, 2008 at 12:03
So who was the first righty blogger to suggest pelting Obama with shoes as revenge for the left not treating this like the JFK assassination? I assume it’s already been suggested somewhere.
Smut Clyde said,
December 15, 2008 at 12:46
I hz a tree-bucket.
RvB said,
December 15, 2008 at 15:26
Ah, me. Just when I was getting into my usual Xmas hate this time of year, Santa gave me that video. That kid’s got a great arm, and I wonder if he’s a good writer too?
And then there’s the equally swell present of that H. R. Puffnstuff paragraph, but maybe my favorite thing in this whole business is the wingnut’s credo:
“We have yet to know what, if any, crimes Obama has committed.”
Too bad they couldn’t put this bold sentence in one of the National Lampoon’s old Tiny Typefaces: “All Selections Performed by the Hightimers Miniature Futura,” “Close Cover Before Striking Sans Serif Extra-Bold,” “Batteries Not Included Times Roman”
actor212 said,
December 15, 2008 at 17:15
“what would you throw at W if given the chance?”
In the grand tradition of Facebook, a sheep.
Albeit a rabid sheep wearing chain mail made of barbed wire and touting a vest made of C4 plastic explosive with a contact detonator, but a sheep, nonetheless.
OneMan said,
December 15, 2008 at 18:30
Correction: Dick Cheney, via trebuchet.
Stag Party Palin said,
December 15, 2008 at 18:40
Justme said: “#7.”
This is a mixed group and we don’t tell jokes like that here.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 15, 2008 at 22:06
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/15160.html/comment-page-4#comment-748902
alec said,
December 15, 2008 at 23:14
Completely unrelated note, posted because my mind is fucking blown: we’re having what in local terms amounts to a small blizzard up north. Remember: we live in the middle of the Mojave Desert and climate change is a liberal myth.
alec said,
December 15, 2008 at 23:16
I used to write what my friends and I call ‘Cheney sodomies’, that involved the first-person perspective character being hunted down, trapped, and relentlessly raped by Cheney, ending in a ridiculous anal insertion. My favorite one is Hail To The Chief, in which Bush is forced to have anal with the then-fresh corpse of Reagan (and Cheney, fulfilling a promise to Reagan after witnessing the same happen to Nixon, eats his dick to gain his power); my most recent one is The Sanctity of Life, in which Dick Cheney clones himself and, after a beating and brief rape, throws Condi up his clone’s ass for insubordination at the speed of a bullet train.
I know it’s not quite the same thing, but great minds do think alike after all.
alec said,
December 15, 2008 at 23:18
Oh, and the big reveal is that Cheney spurts light, sweet crude, but we all knew that anyway.
comsympinko said,
December 15, 2008 at 23:38
In which I identify, by way of the late Reverend Aldridge’s autopsy report, the sentence I want most to avoid being written about me:
“Personal Effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finger, one dildo.”
59lespaulcopy said,
December 16, 2008 at 0:53
Jennifer wrote:
During the football games the last couple of weeks, Lexus, Acura and Mercedes have all run commercials suggesting their luxury automobiles as christmas presents.
I would suggest a BMW. That would make my boss less edgy.
Susan of Texas said,
December 16, 2008 at 13:11
Many years from now, when we will all be using jet-packs to commute to our jobs in the clouds, this assclown will be warning us that the opening of the Obama Museum and Cathedral will make all us liberals realize it was over before it started.
The Dawg said,
December 16, 2008 at 14:40
I hope you weren’t busting on Lidsville or Sigmund and the Seamonsters or we’ll have some real problems.
actor212 said,
December 16, 2008 at 16:54
this assclown will be warning us that the opening of the Obama Museum and Cathedral will make all us liberals realize it was over before it started.
Right.
He’ll be standing on a soapbox outside the Obama Museum on Wacker Drive, accepting donations of Obama dollar coins as he rants about how it was over before it began, near a newstand featuring the commemorative edition of Time Magazine dedicated to how Obama’s likeness was sculpted into Mt Rushmore, which as we all know is accessible off I-90, formally known as Obama Freeway.
Sean said,
December 17, 2008 at 2:54
Oh Reverend Aldridge. I cannot remember what blog it was (perhaps here?) that had a comment about the Rev’s demise, to whit “They can have my dildo when they pry it from my cold dead ass.” Goddammit I am never that funny.