Comments on: Ah Yes… If Only…

By: Yosef

Yosef — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 04:34:00 +0000

See how it works everyone? Yosef makes a comment and you immediately get this stuff:

Y’all are gonna make me pee. Why does Gavin hate my pants?

Posted by res publica at July 13, 2005 06:58 PM

Funniest. Comment. Thread. EVER.

Long may you snark, you bunch of America-haters.

Posted by Uncle Kvetch at July 13, 2005 07:44 PM

I agree, Uncle Kvetch. Without a doubt, the funniest ever. I am here at work, a quiet place, and am going through amazing facial contortions to keep the laughter from spilling out. I bite my lips and shake silently.

Much love to all.

Posted by Lucy at July 13, 2005 08:03 PM

I’ll be here all zee week

By: WatchfulBabbler

WatchfulBabbler — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 03:31:29 +0000

Les was Les long before Gannon. And, yes, he’s always been this crazy. God have mercy on those who actually live in his media market.

(And, also true, Bush *is* one of those awful universalists who think a “conscious Christianity” is not necessary for salvation. Like Billy Graham. Or Bonhoeffer.)

By: Lucy

Lucy — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 03:03:30 +0000

By: Uncle Kvetch

Uncle Kvetch — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 02:44:24 +0000

Funniest. Comment. Thread. EVER.

Long may you snark, you bunch of America-haters.

By: res publica

res publica — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 01:58:13 +0000

Y’all are gonna make me pee. Why does Gavin hate my pants?

By: Yosef

Yosef — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 21:59:48 +0000

Les: “Scott, did you see the President today? Did he mention me? He isn’t answering questions from some new yuonger reporter is he? Why won’t he just return my phone calls?”

By: Gavin M.

Gavin M. — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 19:08:04 +0000

Les: Scott, pull my finger. No, just kidding. Scott, what does the President think about the Soviets flooding our American water supply with toxic fluoride? And by Soviet, I mean Islamic or possibly North Korean, and will the President be hotsy-totsy tonight, or can you send me a note in private? Throwin’ it right back to the Scottster.

By: jeff-perado

jeff-perado — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 17:57:35 +0000

Les: “The liberals are spreading vicious rumors that the President is a metrosexual. I happen to know that not only does the president only use Head n’ Shoulders on his hair, but he washes the rest of his body with it as well. Will the president be responding to this smear campaign by the liberals?”

By: The Dark Avenger

The Dark Avenger — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 14:21:23 +0000

Les says stuff that’s more like this(From WKRP in Cincinnati):

Les: Bailey, you’re his friend. What do you really know about Venus?
Bailey: You promise not to tell?
Les: I swear.
Bailey: Well, uh… you’re gonna think this is a little crazy at first, but uh… I think he’s black.
But, unfortunately, not like this:

You know, if it wasn’t for my sense of humor, I would swear I was losing my mind.

Some of us know the feeling, after reading some of the stuff from World Nut Daily.

By: Pinko Punko

Pinko Punko — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 11:39:02 +0000

The dangerous Gavin M. Causing shorts to be soiled* througout the land with his special brand of mockery and crockery.

*It is a scientific fact that upon hanging or extreme mirth, the commander brain cell gives the order to “Release the bowels!” Upon which the individual either dies, or achieves an equilibrium between his former mirth and his sadness with his current situation of having to change his shorts.

By: Gavin M.

Gavin M. — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 10:48:20 +0000

Les: Scott, is carpet a car, or a pet? Squeal! Chased by biting pumpkins! Wah. Sorry, Scott. Scott, does the President think a tax on tacks will make Hungary hungry? And if so, does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? I have extra gum — just saying. Back atcha, Scott.

By: Bistroist

Bistroist — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 10:36:17 +0000

Hehehe, either it’s very late and I need to get some sleep, or this thread is teh funny.

Les was pure gold in today’s gaggle, as well, interrupting the continuous barrage of questions about Rove to get an answer to this vital issue:

Q Does the President believe that it is outrageous for a Los Angeles advertising man to be conducting a campaign to persuade the town selectmen of Weare, New Hampshire, to approve the building of a hotel on the land where Justice Souter’s house is located? Or does he regard this as an historic irony resulting from Souter’s vote in the case of Kelo versus the City of New London

MR. McCLELLAN: I haven’t seen anything on it. Jim, go ahead.

Q You didn’t see anything on it? You’d like to evade this one, wouldn’t you.

MR. McCLELLAN: No, I haven’t seen anything on it, Les. I like to see reports before I comment on it.

Or this one, from a few days ago.

Q Scott, since President William Howard Taft became Chief Justice after his presidency, you would not rule out the President nominating former law school professor Bill Clinton to the Supreme Court, would you? And if you wouldn’t, we can report that President Clinton is under consideration, can’t we?

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard that name suggested. I know there are a lot of names being suggested out there, and you know that I’m not going to get into speculating about any particular names.

Q One follow-up. Considering the widespread interest and the absolutely frantic Democrat reaction to Karl Rove’s excellent speech to conservatives last month, does the President hope that Karl will give a lot more speeches?

MR. McCLELLAN: He continues to give speeches. He was traveling this weekend talking about the importance of strengthening Social Security. And he has continued to go out and give speeches.

(both via Holden’s Obsession)

By: Pinko Punko

Pinko Punko — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 10:26:28 +0000

Scott: ” I can’t take it any more!!!!!!!!! At least Gannon was the mack in the sack! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??”

By: John Cleland

John Cleland — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 10:20:11 +0000

Les: “Scott, I was at the mall recently and the Lord directed me to go into Hot Topic, where I was bedeviled by black-lip-glossed vixens that excited me so much that I rubbed my manhood on a Napoleon Dynamite throw pillow. Does this make me gay? Also, does the President have my car keys?”

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 09:50:44 +0000

Les: “Scott, is the President into gladiator movies? ‘Cause I just rented a whole stash, and if he’d be interested in coming over to my place…”

By: Pinko Punko

Pinko Punko — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 09:49:11 +0000

Yeah, a “friend” slept with a hooker! Les, on that note “I have a friend that constantly masturbates to monkey porn, is there help for him/her?”

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 09:43:43 +0000

Scott, if you had an infinite number of woodchucks, and an infinite amount of wood, and these woodchuck could indeed chuck wood, do you think they’d eventually create a wooden replica of the Taj Mahal?

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 09:24:10 +0000

Les: “Scott, a friend of mine slept with a hooker last month, and now he feels a burning sensation every time he urinates. Does the President have any idea what might be causing this?”

By: Realist

Realist — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 09:07:18 +0000

Are you kidding? WORLD NET DAILY has their own White House correspondent?And here I thought my opinion of the Bush Administration couldn’t possibly sink any lower.

By: ice weasel

ice weasel — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 08:52:29 +0000

LES: “Scott, it’s well known that the liberal media in this fine nation of ours, a nation where the sun never sets on freedom, are all traitors and should be, in a truly christian system, stoned to death under mosiac law. Has the president, in fact, ordered lunch yet today?

And as a follow-up, since can fellate myself, do you think that might finally get me an admimistration job? Can you put in a good word with karl?”