Dec
11
11
They’ll Get To That Part Later
Shorter Entire Right-Wing Media:
- It has not been proven impossible that despite all so-called ‘existing’ evidence, Obama might have attempted to, uh, buy his own, uh, I guess Senate seat.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2008 at 21:52
Obama was driving a caddy while Keyes was fixing a Ford.
El Cid said,
December 11, 2008 at 21:55
Indeed. Some would wonder about the role of Obama’s not-being-President-yet in this DOJ matter, but they would be wrong to do so.
fdc123 said,
December 11, 2008 at 21:57
thats a great cover.
sagra said,
December 11, 2008 at 21:57
Blatant bias! There’s no mention of the orange cheetos dust on their fingers, nor of Renfield-style laughter.
fdc123 said,
December 11, 2008 at 21:57
oh yeah and special prosecutors for eva
palin/special prosecutors 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gavin M. said,
December 11, 2008 at 21:59
[changed -- or rather hoarded for later -- the art and link]
[sorry; I know that's a bad habit]
PeeJ said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:02
He had to! All Illinois politicos are corrupt. Obama was an Illinois politician. Therefore Obama is corrupt. He just couldn’t help himself – it’s in his nature. He’s been trained to do it. It’s ingrained. blah blech belch
Shorter entire right wing media (which would be most media if we were to start quantifying as well as qualifying):
We’ve got him now! Except we don’t. But there’s a tape of him promising the Blago upty gazillion dollars if Blago will appoint Bill Ayers to his seat. Or maybe Michelle. Or Mumia Abu Jamal. Or….
Gavin M. said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:03
Here’s the prior link about the special prosecutor.
M. Bouffant said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:05
Blagojevich ain’t no friend of mine,
Don’t want his stupid name on my behind.
MzNicky said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:12
I think it’s kinda cute. Sort of like when everyone’s at the table enjoying a nice lovely dinner, and the dogs are sitting in the corner sulking because all they get is kibble, but then one of the kids drops some meat on the floor and all the dogs come running and grab it up and take off to gnaw it to pieces and they’re trotting around with it all show-offy like they’ve really done something. That’s what it’s like.
tigrismus said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:26
Righties are Tinkerbell-clapping so hard their hands are numb and neon pink. Hey, maybe if Obama’s convicted of knowing some corrupt guy Bush can be president FOREVAR! *SWOON*
Joe Propinka said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:28
U.S. conservatives rubbed their hands with glee on Wednesday over news that the Democratic governor of Illinois has been accused of attempting to sell the U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama.
Oh, thank God that reads “hands.”
PeeJ said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:28
I’m surprised it took so long. RightMichigan has figured out what caused the demise of the big 3. Yep, you guessed it: domestic partner benefits. Damn gays always flexing their economic muscle. Oooh. Gays.. Flexing. Muscles……aahhhhh
mako rojo said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:33
The right-wing media are still calling plays from the playbook that just lost them the House and Presidency, and a few more Senate seats. Standing on the overall ethical record of your party and calling the other party corrupt worked pretty well in 1994. Since then, not so much.
OneMadClown said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:36
OT, but big congratulations to Dragon-King Wangchuck on his country’s first daily newspaper.
Good on you, yer Dragon-ness.
nationalplumbingcode said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:43
Oh, dear you posted the wrong Disney image. The correct image is here:
http://www.paulkrassner.com/DMO72.jpg
You might want to fix that.
fauxmaxbaer said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:46
It almost seems- with a few exceptions- that the redder the state, the more corrupt it is.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 11, 2008 at 22:52
What you DEMONcraps don’t understand is that Obama must be crushed before becoming President of the USA of America. Some would say that, given the economic danger that the country is in (which is the fault of the Democrat Party, BTW), that we should all pull together and work side by side for the good of the nation. Bear-scat! The only way this country can be saved is if it is run by Republicans, surely that much should be clear, even to pathetic LIEbrals like you? I fully endorse the strategy of my party, which is to do anything and everything it can to destroy the coming administration in order to show that it was all the Democrats fault.
LittlePig said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:00
My wife (a native Chicagoan) commented “Isn’t finding a corrupt Illinois politician a dog-bites-man story?”
M. Bouffant said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:19
Dan “Riehl” American: “Special Prosecutor not my cup of tea. One lump or two?”
Seriously, Dan, what special prosecutor do we need here? Blago is already under arrest!! Not that much more “investigation” is needed. Unless we can “get” Jesse Jackson, Junior too!!
Pere Ubu said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:19
U.S. conservatives rubbed their glands with glee on Wednesday over news that the Democratic governor of Illinois has been accused of attempting to sell the U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama.
Fized.
tigrismus said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:31
U.S. conservatives rubbed their glands with glee
Thank Diety you didn’t say glans. Wait, nooooooo, what have I done?! I just bleached that brain, too.
OneMan said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:33
U.S. conservatives rubbed their
glandspants with glee on Wednesday over news that the Democratic governor of Illinois has been accused of attempting to sell the U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama.Fized-er
Thlayli said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:37
Run-DMC references are automatic thread-winners.
(If that isn’t a rule, it should be.)
zeppo said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:48
Speaking of Disney, Republicans are like Wall-E, that adorable little post-apocolyptic robot that, even in the midst of total collapse and decay, only knows a single thing, which is to run around and scoop little piles of trash into bigger piles of trash, while making adorable little robot noises. That’s all they know how to do. They are programmed that way. To do otherwise is impossible.
Well, Republicans are like Wall-E, if you leave out the “adorable” part.
noen said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:55
Yay! It’s working for me now! Thanks DNS Gods!
Me said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:56
The rightwing media sure is taking Patrick Fitzgerald a lot more seriously lately. Except when he says stuff like “President-Elect Obama is not implicated in any way”. They seem to grow a bit deaf during that part.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 11, 2008 at 23:56
Well, Republicans are like Wall-E, if you leave out the “adorable” part.
And the “doing something vaguely productive” part.
Pere Ubu said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:00
Well, Republicans are like Wall-E, if you leave out the “adorable” part.
And the “doing something vaguely productive” part.
And change “moving trash around” to “leaving piles of trash they’ve created themselves behind them with no regard for anyone”.
Davis said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:04
Biagojevich is a thug, but at least he’s not a pedophile. That’s strictly a GOP thing.
MzNicky said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:07
Sad, pathetic little hatebags. What, if anything, is the point of trying to involve Obama directly in this mess? Just because? Seriously. Is there something the right hopes to gain from this latest ill-tempered, BASELESS screeching? What, they can’t get the election results thrown out by the Supreme Court so they think if they bawl loudly enough then Obama will throw up his hands and say, “yeah, you got me! I guess the game’s over. Call off my presidency.” I mean REALLY and TRULY, what IS THE FUCKING POINT? Do they think it’s still 1998 Clenis time and the last 10 years have never occurred?
Sorry for shouting but good LORD these fucking dolts make kindergartners look mature. No offense to toddlers etc.
MzNicky said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:09
Dear Sadly Tech Dept.:
FWIW, I can now get here on Firefox but not on Safari.
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:09
Now Blago don’t give a damn, or say, “Thank you, ma’am”
Eatin filet mignon, lobster tails and crab
He eats the finest FOOD, he ain’t the kindest DUDE
and then to put it to you straight he’s CRAZY LAZY AND RUDE
His temper’s boiling hot, whether you like him or not
Not to mention bout his mansion and his big ol’ yacht
He never gave me a dime or even spent, some time
and that’s why I had to cold write this rhyme about..
Blago
Blago crazy!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:10
What, if anything, is the point of trying to involve Obama directly in this mess? Just because?
Yes. That is the whole idea behind Gingrichian politics/governing. Attack constantly, no matter what.
owlbear1 said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:11
Ok, so being Command in Chief of the Illinois National Guard is now NOT sufficient enough justification to behave how you want?
Sophist FCD said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:12
What really gets me is this: how fucking stupid do you have to be to try and sell President-elect Barack Obama’s seat. What, you thought nobody would be paying attention to how that worked out. I mean, seriously, how does this man manage to successfully dress himself in the morning?
owlbear1 said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:15
…how does this man manage to successfully dress himself in the morning?
Sub-contractors
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:16
FWIW, I can now get here on Firefox but not on Safari.
I’m here, via Safari. That’s just how I roll.
M. Bouffant said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:17
Thanks Thlayli
but that was set up by Righteous Bubba, who must’ve won immediately.
Third Darren said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:19
Abramoff and Delay forgot more about corruption than the Democrats will ever know.
M. Bouffant said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:24
MzNicky & all:
The point is that he’s arrogant (uppity) & an uppity usurper (not descended from English royalty, if you know what I mean.) Seriously, the number of clowns who figured he was a natch’ul born citizen, but they’d like to see him forced to produce it just to “cut him down to size” at, say TIDOS Yankee’s Super Fund site yesterday (?) alone indicates there’s much more at work here than mere polarized die-hard righties resenting a “leftist” (Really, who the fuck are they kidding?) who somehow got elected in this allegedly center-right country.
mikey said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:24
Tell y’what, I completely understand the actions of Governer Biagojevich. He clearly had to raise some serious cash – motherfucker had to buy SEVERAL vowels.
I still can’t pronounce it…
mikey
Another kiwi said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:35
So, Ah, there’s nothing to see here is there?
One assumes that the delicate eyes of Reuters readers are being spared here.
M. Bouffant said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:40
A. kiwi:
I noticed that too. They use the same, not even an eff or four asterisks form in both the story story & the “Oooooh, he said ‘poopy-doody’” sidebar story.
WTFuck?
Gavin M. said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:40
This is the fuckingest thing I’ve ever seen.
Um, it’s going away bit by bit and day by day, isn’t it? Like, there’s a progression from worse to better?
MzNicky said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:42
Gavin: Okay, now I can get here on Safari. Sometimes it just won’t load but now it is.
M. Bouffant said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:46
Blah.
Goy.
eh-vitch.
And as I meant to say before I distracted myself: FWIW, reading you 5×5 on IdiotExploder7 (32- & 64-bit) Firefox, & Chrome (which seems to be Safari).
M. Bouffant said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:47
Link, please.
El Cid said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:51
Another news day has passed and yet President Obama has not ordered the Department of Justice to execute Governor Blagojevich. This is simply ongoing proof of Obama’s corruption. And if Obama in any way begins demanding Blagojevich be punished harshly and/or quickly, this is further proof that Obama is trying to shut Blagojevich up. Obama is completely trapped in a situation of his own makening.
Another kiwi said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:53
Source
The new internationalism?
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:55
I think Safari is a little stickier with its caching.
M. Bouffant said,
December 12, 2008 at 0:56
Globalism lowers all boats & bars.
Fozzetti said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:03
Obama needs to stand up in front of the press and say “I did NOT have sex with that Woman!” That’ll shut ‘em up.
Another kiwi said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:03
Ain’t that the real truth (not some snotty troll truth).
This guy seems to have made a special boat lowering effort though. I wonder what the connection to William Ayers will turn put to be.
Another kiwi said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:04
“Will turn out to be” actually. Sheesh
Gavin M. said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:07
Oh right, sorry about that.
pat said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:07
“….topping a year of nationwide Democratic scandals,…”
Did I miss something? What on earth is the odious Malkin babbling about?
I knew the minute this hit that it would be bad news for Obama. Remember Whitewater? How many years do you suppose the nuts can milk this?
Smut Clyde said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:19
What on earth is the odious Malkin babbling about?
Winning an election. The Democrats could only have done that if they used scandalous, nefarious methods to override the will of the people.
noen said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:26
Globalism lowers all goats in bars.
noen said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:27
And when it comes to globalism, Obama is the globaleist
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:37
I find globulism icky.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:42
I believe my previous comment was too profound for RSS.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:42
Uh oh. RSS busted?
OneMan said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:48
Globalism lowers all floats in jars
M. Bouffant said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:51
Thank you so much for the link. I pass the Pink Taco in Century City often, but I’ll be keeping even farther away now.
I am tempted to call that number though.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:52
Dear everybody-relying-on-RSS: you suck and you are all losers. I hate you deeply.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:55
Also, I have eaten those plums you were saving. They were fuckin’ awesome, haha.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:04
There is shoe polish on the eye-pieces of your telescopes. When you use your telescope, the shoe polish will transfer to your face, giving the comical impression of a black eye. All will laugh, except for you.
A Blown Goat said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:16
noen:
Only Mickey Kaus can lower us goats! He’s got such a purdy mouth…
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:20
Your knowledge of the secret lives of your significant others is lacking in that I have been having sex with all of them, including the pets. Had you not been relying on your RSS feed you would know this.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:27
The comment count not updating? HA! I can freely confess to stealing ONE SOCK PER LOAD OF LAUNDRY YOU DO, unknowing dupes! I have made many many puppets with them, acting out scenes of the foulest depravity inside puppet theatres constructed of high-grade plutonium isotopes.
DrDick said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:34
Since when did wingnuts ever pay any attention to stuff like facts or evidence?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:39
Blah. Goy. eh-vitch.
It translates to “Son of a boring gentile”.
OneMan said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:40
Wow, I had no idea I could kill a thread with a single nonsense post.
Sorry, everybody!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:52
Blah. Goy. eh-vitch.
Translates to “son of a boring gentile”, if that helps you remember it.
Like the site didn’t remember this comment the first time I typed it, which is why it’ll be in here twice (or zero times) by the time you read it.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 12, 2008 at 2:59
And when it comes to globalism, Obama is the globaleist
When it comes to troubling links to corrupt pols, he’s the sleaziest
and in foreign policy, he’s the appeasiest!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2008 at 3:07
Looks like an appeasiot to me.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 12, 2008 at 3:15
Appease aporridge ahot, appease aporridge acold, appease aporridge in the apot, anine adays aold.
Awith aapologies to aWalt aKelly.
Another Kiwi said,
December 12, 2008 at 3:24
aWalt aKelly brother of the more famous aR?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
December 12, 2008 at 3:36
Ayup.
Another Kiwi said,
December 12, 2008 at 3:44
Awash with awareness.
MrSparkle said,
December 12, 2008 at 4:17
MzNicky:
re: the MSM…yes.
As John Cole would say, this has been SATSQ.
slip said,
December 12, 2008 at 5:02
it worked! penis is the magic word to solve the home page snafu.
bayville said,
December 12, 2008 at 6:15
Derelicts banging heads at NRO.
Andy McCarthy chastises Obama for not speaking to Blago about his Senate seat:
But 45 minutes later, Victorous Cassius Hansimus chastises Obama for his Blago/Obama connections.
drew said,
December 12, 2008 at 8:15
testing
OneMan said,
December 12, 2008 at 8:17
Jeebus, is Hansen taking writing lessons from Teh Swankster?
Another Kiwi said,
December 12, 2008 at 9:00
Victatus Davidus Hansonium is a never ending sock full of horse semen. When he’s not gabbling on about the Ancient Greeks he swoons about his own cleverness in reading newspapers and summarizing what their op-ed writers ventilate upon. This is eaten up like manna from bleedin’ heaven by the foot soldiers of the RW because he’s got a PhD.
Yes, I think you could say I don’t like his attitude.
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii said,
December 12, 2008 at 11:35
Mafeking
MzNicky said,
December 12, 2008 at 16:29
Mr. Sparkle: Actually I was referring to rightwingnutters.
[somehow the first two times I tried to type that word it came out "ringwormers." Perhaps my brain knows more than it's letting on?]
sagra said,
December 12, 2008 at 16:34
“I mean REALLY and TRULY, what IS THE FUCKING POINT?”
The point is to cripple his presidency, like they tried to do with Clinton. Kill off all the “hope” crap, and put a Ken Starr-era scandal story at the top of every news hour so Democratic voters will switch off the TV in disgust.
Then the Republcans can fillibuster health care reform, global warming legislation, and whatever else they find offensive without the harsh glare of public scrutiny. Dust off the “Contract with America” bullshit for 2010, and Bob’s your uncle.
MrSparkle said,
December 12, 2008 at 16:41
MzNicky: My bad.
Either way, it’s gonna be a looooong presidential term.
tigrismus said,
December 12, 2008 at 16:57
Dear everybody-relying-on-RSS: you suck and you are all losers. I hate you deeply
Well poop.
les said,
December 12, 2008 at 19:22
Well, actually, there is an ongoing sameness in the failure to function department, o fearless leader.
les said,
December 12, 2008 at 19:23
Which is why I’m hours behind, not knowing where the fuck “now” is.