Nov
21
21
Shorter Scott “Big Trunk” Johnson
- Although I have not read any of the books nominated for this year’s Book Awards, I am certain that they pale in comparison to the intellectual dynamo that is Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism, not to mention the fine efforts by such first-rate minds as Andy McCarthy and Douglas Feith.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Pere Ubu said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:37
Okay.
WTF is it with the obsession over “Liberal Fascism” all of a sudden?
Does Jonah have a painting in his attic that’s becoming a better and better writer as we speak?
WereBear said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:38
Oh, gosh, thread winner already!!
Pere Ubu said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:39
BTW, I mean the obsession on the right.
I mean, his piece of shit book has been out for months – hasn’t it? Why all the adulation all of a sudden?
WereBear said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:40
might be the key to recent wingnut action on this front.
Pere Ubu said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:43
“Book Awards”?
Any “book awards” in particular, or just “book” awards?
(Riffles pages) “Yes, this is indeed a book, and we give it an award.”
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:44
The Poor Traits of Doughy Gray.
Powertoolz iz amazednessitude.
WTF?!
c.f. “I’m sure that having a threesome with Angelina Jolie and Susan Sarandon would be unspeakably hot, and doing so would be as simple as
clicking an Amazon.com linkjust calling them, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.”mark f said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:45
Scott Johnson is a supercilious dolt. My favorite part of the post is his sarcastic dismissal of Tropic of Cancer’s literary worthiness.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:45
Well okay – maybe it’s a bad comparison, I kinda let my imagination run away from me there for a bit.
actor212 said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:48
I’m not sure Big Tunk (sic) read the category correctly.
It was the award for NONfiction, you idiot!
Pere Ubu said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:52
I know it’s been done to death, but “Big Trunk”? “Hindrocket”?
What’s going on over there?
Candy said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:54
Liberal Fascism, lauded winner of the prestigious Golden Wingnut Book Award, the Regnery Blue Ribbon, and recipient of Teh Prix Imbecile, Europe’s highest prize for Dumb Assery in Writing.
Look out, Noam Chomsky!
I hear Cormac’s trembling lest Jonah take up fiction.
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:56
WTF is it with the obsession over “Liberal Fascism” all of a sudden?
Teh Libruls have just won control over our gummint!
As a result, expect the wingnutosphere to treat the Pantload’s magnum opus as a guide to the ongoing destruction of the Republic. Think an impoverished man’s version of The Road to Serfdom. And expect four years of All Godwin, All the Time.
tigrismus said,
November 21, 2008 at 18:58
The AP provided an almost comic account of the herd of independent minds at play in mid-town Manhattan during the awards ceremony
Audiences clap at the same time when appropriate! People who disagree with the Power Tools sometimes agree with each other! Polite chit chat doesn’t always overwhelm one with its earth shattering profundity! I gasp!
MzNicky said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:02
I know it’s been done to death, but “Big Trunk”? “Hindrocket”? What’s going on over there?
And then they turn around and blame the “feminists.” Yeah, that’s right! That’s what they do.
actor212 said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:02
I think this is the paragraph he found so funny, that someone wearing a tuxedo while feasting at a swank Wall Street eatery might give a thought or two to the common man suffering in this Depression…
tigrismus said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:05
that someone wearing a tuxedo while feasting at a swank Wall Street eatery might give a thought or two to the common man suffering in this Depression…
I’ll have you know he thinks of the suffering common man when he puts on the ritz, too: he was the first to find a hobo for the scavenger hunt!
PeeJ said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:07
I suspect most of the books he has read consist mainly of pictures.
Pere Ubu said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:20
he was the first to find a hobo for the scavenger hunt
“Oh, Muffy! I daresay, Muffy! I seem to have located a ne’redowell over heah!”
actor212 said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:21
he was the first to find a hobo for the scavenger hunt!
In true classist fashion, however, it was merely one of his footmen dressed in a costume.
Pere Ubu said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:22
A “Swank” eatery?
Homonups never, but a great buffet.
Legalize said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:26
“I hear Cormac’s trembling lest Jonah take up fiction.”
Liberal Fascism isn’t fiction?
But seriously, don’t mock. Jonah is currently working on his masterpiece: a post-apocalyptic tale (caused by liberal Marxism and socialism), where a portly hero transports the golden child (i.e. the chosen spawn of St. Reagan) through a wasteland of liberal universities, gay bars, coffee shops, Islamofascist taxi cab stands, and sushi bars to arrive at the mecca of evil liberalism (the NYT building). The portly hero defeats the evil Orange Satan Kos and Master Lord Soros, and installs the child as the master of the Reagan re-revolution. Taxes are low, wars against dark folks are many, and heroic Americans are once again free to bash gay people and refuse service to negros and hippies.
I Pity The Fool said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:30
Um…buttsecks?
Arky4That1 said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:34
If you’re nice to Johan, he’ll smuggle you a pair of his mom’s old knickers.
sarah said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:35
thanks for the morning giggle. i would be embarrassed to write so much about books i have never read before…but i guess that’s why i don’t have a powerline blog.
NutellaonToast said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:37
I think we can all agree that Jonah’s book definitely merits some kind of award in the fiction category. I mean, I’ve never read it but….
vastleft bugfucker said,
November 21, 2008 at 19:53
Dammit! I went there and read it and your shorter is entirely correct.
J— said,
November 21, 2008 at 20:11
I know it’s been done to death, but “Big Trunk”? “Hindrocket”?
What’s going on over there?
You say you are a big trunk
But you are a small hack
Peddling the party line
Pushing the party line
g said,
November 21, 2008 at 20:14
Where’s the Sadly. No post about the Palin turkey slaughter?
Simba B said,
November 21, 2008 at 20:21
Where’s the Sadly. No post about the Palin turkey slaughter?
I don’t know about you, g, but I’ll take a pass on the Photoshop possibilities for that post.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 21, 2008 at 20:39
I’m happy to give Goldberg and McCarthy credit for their own idiocy, but are we to believe Feith’s book was not ghostwritten? Are such books appropriate for awards?
WereBear said,
November 21, 2008 at 20:42
That was so surreal that it’s another case of wingnuts lapping our satire with their reality.
FlipYrWhig said,
November 21, 2008 at 21:09
Good news! All conservative tomes of the Bush Era have been collectively awarded the Grand Prix. And I refuse to pronounce that in a swishy Frenchy-poo way.
ed said,
November 21, 2008 at 21:15
Powerline: putting satirists out of business since, um, whenever the fuck they started their shitty blog.
actor212 said,
November 21, 2008 at 21:22
The portly hero defeats the evil Orange Satan Kos and Master Lord Soros, and installs the child as the master of the Reagan re-revolution.
And Fatso dies.
That’s the only part of “The Road” worth reading.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
November 21, 2008 at 21:34
If you’re nice to Johan, he’ll smuggle you a pair of his mom’s old knickers.
Smuggle? They sell them on their website.
dex said,
November 21, 2008 at 21:36
‘liberal fascism” is a book?
it thought it was the name of the guy who replaced ol’ dirty bastard on the wu-tang tour.
papa zita said,
November 21, 2008 at 21:52
tigrisimus,
I take it you’ve seen My Man Godfrey.
Smut Clyde said,
November 21, 2008 at 22:26
wingnuts lapping our satire with their reality.
Enough of the tongue-jacking already!
Twinky Winky Pony Palin said,
November 21, 2008 at 22:49
Oh dear god, he’s actually channeling Jon Swift:
http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2006/11/jon-swifts-complete-amazon-reviews.html
What’s happening with the birth certificate?
http://texasdarlin.wordpress.com/2008/11/16/four-questions-for-the-trojan-candidate/
tigrismus said,
November 21, 2008 at 23:19
I take it you’ve seen My Man Godfrey.
;-)
ortho_bob said,
November 21, 2008 at 23:55
Hey, Hugh Hewitt has a new book out : The War Against the West. 531 pages of interviews with the likes of Mark Steyn and John Bolton. Clear some space on that remainder table, will ya?
Smut Clyde said,
November 22, 2008 at 1:05
I know it’s been done to death, but “Big Trunk”?
According to Christopher Moore, the appropriate unit for measuring the size of a big trunk is the number of dead hookers you can fit into it.
I don’t know why this comes to mind in connection with Scott Johnson.
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
November 22, 2008 at 2:58
Even shorter Scott “Big Trunk” Johnson:
Spam spam spam spam
spam spam spam spam
spammity spa-a-am, wonderful spa-a-am
(spammity, wonderful)
spammity spa-a-am, wonderful spam!
Stephen said,
November 22, 2008 at 16:20
Scott Johnson is a supercilious dolt. My favorite part of the post is his sarcastic dismissal of Tropic of Cancer’s literary worthiness.
Exactly. He waves off that, The Story of O, and Lady Chatterly’s Lover because they all have erotic content? I myself might have thought that sex was so integral a part of our lives that it might make for interesting literary material, but hey, maybe Johnson’s right and we should all be hush-hush about it just in case a child or unmarried adult overhears us.
tigrismus said,
November 22, 2008 at 16:39
He waves off that, The Story of O, and Lady Chatterly’s Lover because they all have erotic content?
Always remembering that this is a guy who labels himself “Big Trunk” and who works with “Hindrocket”.
Anne Laurie said,
November 23, 2008 at 10:28
I know it’s been done to death, but “Big Trunk”? “Hindrocket”? What’s going on over there?
In an episode of “Private Practice” a guy self-identifies as “Trunk” because… “you can put a *lot* of stuff in a trunk”. His fetish is outed when he ends up in the emergency room with a spike heel rammed up his… trunk… and his therapist announces that he is “not quite ready for the dating scene yet”.
Somebody really needs to show Scotty that clip, and maybe present him with a single grey ostrich-skin pump with a five-inch heel.
Yaoi Huntress Earth said,
November 25, 2008 at 0:20
I think the other thing that scares him about Tropic of Cancer is that it celebrates life as it is without limitations instead of some Ozzie and Harriet sterotype or with corporate greed and hate as virtues.