Repeat after me: “No one could have predicted…”

Yea! Or we’ll take our Nokias back and go heume…

Hey, it’s not our fault we had better goaltending in the last Olympics…

I am usually so good about not clicking the dang links. You read this crap so I DON’T have to.

But every once in a while, the “shorter” is so damn over-the-top I literally MUST see it myself to believe it…

…and then spend a week trying to devise a non-fatal way of bleaching the stain from my brain.

We already have have that TV show in Oz. Seriously, it’s called Border Patrol or something.

Enough of this Indian navy, minuteman cruises crap already, has nobody looked into whether some ninjas are available ? You pass up this opportunity the internet is never gonna forgive you.

The concept here is you outfit one of those small “adventure cruise” ships with some armor and firing positions. You make a bunch of rednecks pay you a hundred grand for a three week cruise. You just loiter off Somalia waiting for the pirates to attack. When they do, you issue the rednecks M14s or, for a higher fee, Barrett .50s. Let’s rock n roll.

mikey

Let the networks bid for the weekly television rights for this “reality TV” concept, and we may be well on our way to paying for the bank bailout!

Arr.

Also, probably one reason there’s all this piracy is that it’s still relatively cheap to get an insurance policy against having your ship and crew held for ransom. And, of course, that a daring and exciting rescue mission generally is a bad idea if you have the option of, you know, having the insurance company cough up the cash.

Actually now that I think of it, it might be easier and more effective to do a “tactical insertion” or whatever penisy-sounding thing they call it, rather than trying to get an insurance company to actually honor a claim.

But really the only people to whom it would make sense financially to have mercenaries or privateers or security consultants doing a rescue would be the insurers themselves, and they would rapidly find themselves out of business I think.

Don’t fuck with the Finns.

I think it’s all a thinly veiled excuse to sail north and moon the Finnish.

I’d think the Pakistanis would be putting most of their effort into mooning the Indians, not the Finns.

Wait. What?

Wherever they choose. They just make port authorities an offer they can’t refuse.

“and gave them a bunch of ’70s era battleships”

The last ‘battleship’ was constructed in the early 50s. Well, I should say commissioned, since most of the actual construction was done before WWII, but had to be halted during the war.

‘Battleship’ is a classification term of a naval vessel of a certain displacement and main armament caliber. A more appropriate term would be ’70s era warship, or combat vessel. I haven’t read the article, I assume he really means destroyers, or possibly a cruiser.

There’s any number of reasons why a non-commissioned supernavy, or privateers, is a supremely bad idea*. Not the least of which is: where are they going to make port? Even if they had the room, I doubt India would be to keen on the idea. South Africa maybe?

*Which is why right wingers are all over it.