It’s like Jon Stewart. Does he uphold the high standards of professional journalistic behavior?? No! He acts like he’s some comedy show, or something!

I can see this scene at the dock:

“Did you hear? The NRO cruise was taken by pirates! They’ve demanded $100 million dollars or they’ll set the ship on fire!”

“No! But what’s the gas can for?”

“We’re taking up a collection to help them…”

Now that’s a conservative movie I’d go to see. Pirates board the Wank Boat. They demand money or they’ll start killing passengers. Goldberg hands over K-Lo. They are rescued by the 101st Fighting Keyboarders, who accidently kill everyone on board with their newly purchased semi-automatic weapons. The end.

It speaks for itself. Good thing they’re not black because then they would be lazy.

I know: how about letting market forces dictate which of these saps gets tossed overboard in the coming bush depression … ? Oh, no, wait: That would require them to create productive goods that Americans want to buy! … and let me be the first to say: NO NRO BAILOUT!

Where are the Somali pirates when you need them? Oh yes, stealing something on the high seas with actual value.

They eat them out of jealousy.

I prefer the rotors of a helicopter, myself.

I wish. He got some from Karen Allen.

Y’know, I had never ever considered this before, but isn’t this precisely how the right wing in this country operates?

“It’s beautiful. It will have to go.”

My God, they are the robots of Krikkit!

I think I prefer the ‘pina coladas / getting caught in the rain’ version of the song.

Incidentally, was there sun-bathing on this Caribbean cruise? Because I would like to make a bad joke about “leaving no stern untoned”.

The Fountainhead is for 19-year-olds who are only just learning to grasp philosophy. Everything is overdramatized and oversymbolized. This man represents individualism. That man represents collectivism. The heroine represents the author, who longs to get nailed by the rugged individualist.

Here is the story. A man designs a building based on natural forms. He’s a modernist. A committee comes along and adds old-style junk, and balconies, to the man’s work. So the man blows up the building. Meanwhile, his friend, who has spent his life trying to be a people-pleaser architect with no original thoughts of his own, kills himself. At some point the heroine is raped by the individualist guy, and she likes it. Then at the end there is a big show trial, and the individualist gives a speech about how being an individual and creating stuff based on one’s own ideas is the highest achievement of man.

If you see the movie version (directed by King Vidor), it ends with the man standing atop a building that looks like a giant penis.

So, if you like egocentric people and big wangs, and you want a lover who is as selfish as you are in the sack, and if you like post-coital conversations about how the world could be a utopia if only government were exchanged for anarcho-capitalism and common people were allowed to use their cars as taxicabs, then by all means, date an Objectivist.

Not to worry. There’s a hell of a lot of distance between Jonah and his own penis.