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Inside the scary mind of Andy McCarthy
It’s good to see that Obama’s victory hasn’t made Andy McCarthy any less insane. Witnesseth:
INCONVENIENT FACT: THE IRAQIS DON’T LIKE US
[...]
Thousands of American lives and hundreds of billions in taxpayer funds have been expended to provide Iraqis the opportunity to live freely. And this despite the facts that (a) the U.S. interest in Iraqi democracy remains tenuous (our interest was the elimination of Saddam’s terror-mongering, weapons-proliferating regime), and (b) Americans were assured, when the nation-building enterprise commenced, that oil-rich Iraq would underwrite our sacrifices on its behalf. Yet, to be blunt, the Iraqis remain ingrates. That stubborn fact complicates everything.
Of all the weird beliefs that neoconservatives have, the weirdest by far is the idea that foreigners should actually enjoy having their countries invaded and occupied. I mean come on, ungrateful Iraqis, only it’s not like anyone has been killed during this glorious liberation! Christ, the way these whiny jerks tell it, you’d think that millions of them had been forced to flee their homes and that millions more have been forced to live without access to potable drinking water!
DocAmazing said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:49
Shorter shorter: This was supposed to hurt me a lot more than it hurt you…
bargal20 said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:52
I tried billing the concierge of the Marriot in Salt Lake City for the shit-smeared duvet on the bed, the bottles of cum in the mini-bar, the raped maid and the dead bellhop in the bathtub, but the guy just looked at me as if I were crazy.
Fucking ingrate.
His Grace said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:05
Of all the weird beliefs that neoconservatives have, the weirdest by far is the idea that foreigners should actually enjoy having their countries invaded and occupied.
I don’t know Brad, thinking that a country after having being bombed and and occupied will be so grateful that they’ll do anything Washington tells them out love of freedom is pretty weird too.
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:09
I can’t understand why the Iraqis wold be so pissed. Bush didn’t destroy their country any worse than he did America. The big difference is that over there, the damage was immediately visible while over here we’re only starting to see it.
You don’t see us being ungrateful, do you now?
Oh. IC. Never mind.
Duros Hussein 62 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:10
Defense of Democracies Foundation Senior Fellow?
For reals?
Guess it just doesn’t mean what it used to.
luneylegume said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:11
Imagine a perfect world where the point of imagination is simultaneous with action .
Now imagine that jerk who looked at us funny who lives up the hill .
Now any rational thoughtful kind hearted person would at minimum annihilate the entire family .
A more serious person would incinerate all traces of life , and charge the neighbors .
It is just another M C Escher dynamic in relationships , no background no foreground only irrational action .
Legalize said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:11
Iraq is a center-right country!
Plus, fuck Wordpress in teh ear.
Sarah Palin said said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:13
Shorter shorter: the bloody wogs are always such ingrates.
Arky4That1 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:14
Yep. And the decendants of African slaves should be grateful that Europeans went to the trouble and expense of taking them on a cruise from nasty heathen old Africaland to the lovely Christian shores of RealAmerica.
[Sigh] Brown people are just SOOOO inconsiderate!
Joe said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:15
Man, I liked him so much better in Weekend at Bernies and Mannequin.
Arky4That1 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:15
[Shakes fist at Sarah Palin]
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:19
Man, I liked him so much better in Weekend at Bernies and Mannequin.
Or sitting on Edgar Bergen’s knee.
agum said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:20
Yep. And the decendants of African slaves should be grateful that Europeans went to the trouble and expense of taking them on a cruise from nasty heathen old Africaland to the lovely Christian shores of RealAmerica.
You calling Soulja Boy Tell em (.com) an ingrate?
“Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we’d still be in Africa.” — Soulja Boy, last month
mikey said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:22
Once a long time ago when I had a little more, er, difficulty with my anger issues I beat a guy into a coma in roseville with a jack handle.
Y’know, to THIS day the fucking ingrate is still angry with me.
There’s just no pleasing some people…
mikey
mako rojo said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:25
“Just find it in your heart to like us”
Yossarian wanted to laugh confidently when he saw with amazement that Colonel Korn was telling the truth. “That isn’t going to be too easy,” he sneered.
Hoosier X said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:25
I call fake Sarah Palin.
I’m sure she has never said “wog” unless it had just been fed to her by John McCain, Phil Gramm or Ted Stevens.
actor212 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:25
Perhaps if Andy read this accurately:
he’d understand why the darkies are sooooooooooo ungrateful.
Fixed yer post, Andy!
actor212 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:27
Once a long time ago when I had a little more, er, difficulty with my anger issues I beat a guy into a coma in roseville with a jack handle.
Y’know, to THIS day the fucking ingrate is still angry with me.
And all you were trying to do was knock some sense into him, instead of forcing him to get up each morning with one hand on either side of the bed rail!
Da noive!
DrDick said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:28
I think we should all descend on McCarthy’s house, trash his furniture, torture and rape his family, then burn the house to the ground. Then we should ask him to thank us for it.
agum said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:30
The funny thing is that even ol’ good vs. evil, white vs. black, aristocrat vs. cockney JRR Tolkien himself didn’t believe the orcs of Mordor would welcome liberation. And the men of Mordor were only happy when the Gondorians left them alone to farm. (And that was the winner’s historical account.)
Which is to say, neo-con ideology is so morally simplistic, it’s like a15-year old boy’s hackwork fantasy novel, starring Rand’rew Carty and the sensual elf-queen Syra P’lin.
actor212 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:36
I think we should all descend on McCarthy’s house, trash his furniture, torture and rape his family, then burn the house to the ground. Then we should ask him to thank us for it.
Judging by his overbite, I’m not sure he’d notice.
Duros Hussein 62 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:39
I call fake Sarah Palin.
I’m sure she has never said “wog” unless it had just been fed to her by John McCain, Phil Gramm or Ted Stevens.
Indeed. She would have said “gook.”
tigrismus said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:43
Is it an overbite? I thought he was just missing an upper lip. There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps.
Pere Ubu said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:44
the sensual elf-queen Syra P’lin
You people are really working at making me want to throw up today.
What’d I ever do to you?
Pere Ubu said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:45
Yet, to be blunt, the Iraqis remain ingrates.
Oh, please tell me Xmas came early this year and he actually wrote that line.
Tom Allen said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:48
And those ungrateful Native Americans! I mean, come on, the settlers gave them everything — smallpoxy blankets, long walks on the prairie, small plots of land. Oh, and Jebus. Aren’t they grateful for Jebus? Aren’t the Iraqis grateful for Jebus? You’d think, wouldn’t you?
Yay White Man’s Burden!
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:53
Whatever those E-rockies are dealin with, it ain’t mega-herds of rabid pelicans!!!
Smut Clyde said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:55
some sort of fish, perhaps.
Must… resist… puns… about… ‘groper’…
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:55
So Frum is also now out at NR? I hope he turns off the lights as he exits so that McCarthy and Goldberg et. al. won’t be able to find their way out.
Ginger Yellow said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:59
“our interest was the elimination of Saddam’s terror-mongering, weapons-proliferating regime”
Huh? Weapons proliferating? What weapons did he have to proliferate?
SomeNYGuy said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:03
Clearly. Especially the “fellow” part.
actor212 said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:11
There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps
Walleye.
I was trying to be kind, you know, as a liberal should.
Smut Clyde said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:12
terror-mongering
I have only just met this word but I hate it already. Surely there are more poetic alternatives.
If there were fears to sell,
What would you buy?
Some cost a passing bell;
Some a light sigh.
The Goddamn Batman Thinks That Andy Is Begging The Question said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:21
(our interest was the elimination of Saddam’s terror-mongering, weapons-proliferating regime)
Which Saddam was this? Definitely wasn’t the Walter Matthau lookalike that the troops dug out of a hole.
Mark said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:42
Extra Shorter Andy McCarthy:
“I can’t believe how ungrateful all those dead Iraqis are. They should rise from the grave and kiss GWB’s feet.”
These people are truly the premier cocksuckers on the planet.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:47
“And why aren’t these fuckers paying for the bullets we put in their children’s heads? INCONSIDERATE!”
There’s really no ends to their depravity, is there? I mean, that kind of opinion is what the Onion used to write a ridiculous parody of a right-winger, and now, there’s an actual one writing it in their little newsletter.
Lord Crashingbore said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:51
Apparently he didn’t get the memo:
Hm, I could swear I heard differently but I’m probably wrong.
Michael G. said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:55
I like how the fact that there was no post-war planning, no real ideas about nation-building, has just vanished down the memory hole. You see, we did our bestest in Iraq, and the reason it didn’t work is that the Iraqis are ingrates. So what if we blew grandma up? It was for a just cause!
Michael G. said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:56
“Hm, I could swear I heard differently but I’m probably wrong.”
Those are old truths. They’re stale now. You need to get some of the fresh ones Andy’s got.
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:58
Mark : These people are truly the premier cocksuckers on the planet.
You say that as though it’s a bad thing. Not to put too fine a point on it but there are some around here who proudly claimed that title long ago.
Also, what the fuck happened to preview? I just noticed it’s missing! Whoever took it please return it immediately so that I may continue to ignore it.
Arky4That1 said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:02
Ingrate! If people didn’t make you throw up with gut churning imagery of Manshrew McKarthy making the beast of backfat his frozen elf goddess you’d have to exercise to burn off the calories of the food you ate!
Pere Ubu said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:09
There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps.
Blobfish. Definitely.
Scott said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:14
Ingrate! If people didn’t make you throw up with gut churning imagery of Manshrew McKarthy making the beast of backfat his frozen elf goddess you’d have to exercise to burn off the calories of the food you ate!
See, now I’m really considering trying to write a fantasy novel as written by a conservative Mary-Sue…
I reckon it’d sell like crazy, ’cause the Repubs would never catch on that I was laughing at them. The only problem would be the moral quandry about whether to accept all that cash from stupid deluded Republican dorks…
Ha ha, not really. Gimme that money, Jonah!
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:16
Maybe a sheepfish?
tigrismus said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:18
Must… resist… puns… about… ‘groper’…
Behold, the self-redacting blogosphere.
Walleye
Yes, something like that. Toothfish also crossed my mind, as did gobies. I suppose any lipless monstrosity will have some resemblance.
On reloading, blobfish is perfect. Jesus Mary Joseph that is one butt-ugly fish.
Scott said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:23
“FreepQuest: Champion of the Holy Bush”
Chapter 1 of a multi-part trilogy
by me, who should be given money by Republicans
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a noble young hero named Jumbo McManchowder, who had a noble goatee and a very rigid sword and he owned the local franchise for cheese snacks for the entire kingdom. His mother loved him very, very much, but that’s okay, because sons should always love their mothers. Sometimes with their penises.
Jumbo was busy manning the gates against evil brown orcs and swishy elves when he was called before the Empress Michelle. “Noble Jumbo!” she said, her pert nostrils flaring with lust and rage, and her Chinese-lookin’ eyes were totally hot, even if it meant she wasn’t actually white, “I charge you to embark upon a holy quest to destroy the Evil Lord and Lady Klinton-Hitler. But first, you must plunder my nether-regions!”
So far, so good. This writing stuff is so easy, and I’m gonna be so rich… :)
Warren said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:23
Mr. McCarthy:
“Thousands of American lives and hundreds of billions in taxpayer funds have been expended to provide Iraqis the opportunity to live freely.”
Suggested edit: Substitute ‘die’ for ‘live’. This clarifies the intent of the sentence and explains why, as asserted, the Iraqis ‘don’t like us’.
Smut Clyde said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:25
the flesh of the blobfish is primarily a gelatinous mass with a density slightly less than water [...] The relative lack of muscle is not a disadvantage as it primarily swallows edible matter that floats by in front of it.
Tragically, this is also a good description of my own lifestyle.
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:28
Fuck you Wordpress! Give me my comment back!
Pere Ubu said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:28
Personally I think we should just replace all the conservative pundits in the country with blobfish.
At least you’d know up front what you were dealing with.
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:29
Maybe a sheepfish?
Fucking Wordpress.
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:31
Third try’s the charm?
http://flickr.com/photos/terry_mercer/2980477822/ sheepfish?
Fucking Wordpress.
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:33
Damn you to hell, Wordpress. Three tries and you eat it every time. FOAD
Sophist FCD said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:39
It’s already been done
MzNicky said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:44
There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps
Well, it wouldn’t be a piranha. That’s a severe underbite.
Scott said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:44
Damn you, Spinrad! How is a talentless hack like me supposed to catch a break!
Lord Crashingbore said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:49
“How is a talentless hack like me supposed to catch a break!”
Write for Regenery, silly!
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:49
One last desperate attempt to comment. Wordpress has eaten my last four attempts. So, without link, google “bucktoothed fish sheepshead.” Follow the top lonk to flickr.
argargharghagrhrghagrhgh
Pere Ubu said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:53
Damn you, Spinrad! How is a talentless hack like me supposed to catch a break!
My favorite comment about The Iron Dream was some idjut fanboy who remarked that it was a really great adventure story but wondered why Spinrad had to muck it up with all that Hitler stuff.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:56
These people are truly the premier cocksuckers on the planet.
(Pssst! You wouldn’t happen to know how I could get in touch with them, wouldya?).
actor212 said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:04
“I charge you to embark upon a holy quest to destroy the Evil Lord and Lady Klinton-Hitler. But first, you must plunder my nether-regions!”
May I?
“She sat athwart his rigid tool and after much fumbling and cursing, managed to find enough of it to slip into her silky nether-regions, all while cursing the evil Frosts of Graemewood.”
Euripides said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:06
It’s a poor sign for a country when an powerful minority go on a spending spree that they cannot afford, along with other financial recklessness, and then demand redistribution of wealth from a president with an arab middle name (not to mention links to terrorists).
jim said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:16
Strangely, I’m guessing the word “oil” appears nowhere in Andy’s little emo-fest … yep, “oil-rich” is as close as he dares tread to the OTHER evil O-Word … I’m also guessing that “Iraq’s larval government” isn’t coming out of its cocoon any time soon – not when there’s so much easily available Yankee lolly to be had … yet another BushCo bonus Americans will be a long time paying down.
On the minus side, they weren’t there at all until thousands of US troops arrived & started helping them to recruit young people who’d just seen their families butchered by heavy bombing. Once Bush executed Bin Laden’s death-warrant on Hussein (via the proxy Iraq “larva”), the field was wide-open for him – with an enemy like Bush, Al-Quaeda hardly needs friends.
The devil’s in the details, Andy.
Turns out a few million of them now live freely – or rather, STARVE freely – someplace other than Iraq – because they face certain death if they try to go home … or because they literally have no home to go to, having had it subjected to America’s DU-tipped “Urban Renewal” policy at the barrel of a cannon.
Somewhere around a million of them just plain don’t live at all, freely or otherwise – c/o that same “Urban Renewal” scheme that’s done so much good – for SAIC, Blackwater & Halliburton.
Andy McCarthy’s commentary sounds exactly like he looks.
No nastier statement need be made.
actor212 said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:16
then demand redistribution of wealth from a president with an arab middle name
I don’t think “Walker” is Arabic.
owlbear1 said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:31
He’s whining the dead and wounded aren’t clapping loud enough and therefore he is being victimized.
OneMan said,
November 19, 2008 at 1:10
“premier cocksuckers on the planet.”
Really, what did cocksuckers ever do to you?
I mean, er…
What do you have against cock sucking?
Doctorb said,
November 19, 2008 at 2:26
In the NYU Local is the article headlined:
Center-Right Nation Elects Terrorist-Loving Socialist Out of Fear of Change
Warning: contains the word fuck, so don’t click if you don’t want to see the word fuck.
Spiny Norman said,
November 19, 2008 at 2:48
This should be a ‘appy occasion!
Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.
actor212 said,
November 19, 2008 at 3:32
In the NYU Local is the article headlined:
They changed the name of the Washington Square News????
*tearing up alumni check*
henry lewis said,
November 19, 2008 at 3:36
There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps
Puffer?
Tommykey said,
November 19, 2008 at 5:11
What never ceases to amaze me is that some of these are the same people who whine about all us evil seclarists waging a war on Christmas and persecuting the overwhelming Christian majority in this country, and they mention not a whit about the fact that 1/3 of Iraq’s pre-war Christian minority has had to flee the country. Now that’s what real anti-Christian persecution is and these conservatives don’t seem to give a shit about it.
Johnny Pez said,
November 19, 2008 at 9:08
Jumbo McManchowder rose from the Empress’ bed as the sated hottie slumbered. Donning his fur jockstrap and enameled armor, and girding the scabbard of his ensorceled blade Gaybasher, he strode from the bedchamber, his hobnailed sandals sending sharp reports across the marble floor. Making his way through the vaulted halls of the imperial palace, he entered the stables where his mighty steed Porche awaited. Quickly saddling the magnificent stallion, he burst through the palace gates, his war cry splitting the air around him.
“Country first!”
red said,
November 19, 2008 at 9:56
Being of middle eastern descent myself, and knowing many other Middle Eastern people, we all knew the invasion was a bad idea and that Iraq would not be grateful. Did anyone from the White House even ASK someone from the region what would happen? Did they even look at a history book and see that Middle Eastern people generally dislike, don’t get along, and use for their own ends, any type of foreign intervention? I mean, lets look at their experience: 1. World War II: that went great for the Arabs. 2. Israel: Yep, the Middle East sure loved it when all the Western powers made a new state in their home area, based on a religion already disliked by the region, and gave it all the important religious sites and a bunch of a weapons. Real considerate. 3. Iran: “Thanks US, for pretending to be our friend, then stabbing us in the back! Now we have a religious government you don’t like, but they are there because of you engineered the collapse of our democracy you helped us make for English oil interest!”
Major Kong said,
November 19, 2008 at 15:20
“our interest was the elimination of Saddam’s terror-mongering, weapons-proliferating regime”
He must mean the 10 flyable aircraft the Iraqi Air Force had on any given day. The ones they didn’t even bother to put in the air when we invaded.
Ciprpoobjacr Janitors the School Superintendent said,
November 19, 2008 at 16:47
Did anyone from the White House even ASK someone from the region what would happen?
They asked Ahmed Chalabi.
bucky said,
November 19, 2008 at 19:52
McCarthy looks like Jeebs from Men in Black. You can see him beginning at 1:45:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdLZxCW4aIQ
Doctorb, vice principal of rock-n-roll said,
November 19, 2008 at 20:48
Chalabi said everything would be flowers and candy and everyone would get a pony.
Plus I believe he told Bush that he had trillions of dollars frozen in an account in Iraq and was willing to share it with him, but he couldn’t get to it while Saddam was still in power, and also I’ll need your checking information you seem like a trustworthy gentleman, in the name of Jesus sincerely Ahmed CHALABI
Doctorb said,
November 20, 2008 at 1:56
Johnny Pez, that’s some good writing but I notice that there were a few nouns that didn’t have adjectives. Plus most of your adjectives could do with some adverbs.
Consider:
Making his way through the vaulted halls of the imperial palace, he entered the stables where his mighty steed Porche awaited.
vs
Arrogantly making his manly way through the majestically vaulted halls of the stone-hewn imperial palace, he boldly strode into the dimly lit earthen packed stables where his incomparably mighty steed Porche awaited impatiently.
also http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/sf/eyeargon/eyeargon.htm
dangerman said,
November 21, 2008 at 21:41
This is
notis too a post