Nov
18
18
Shorter Don Feder
- The majority of my fellow Jews are Israel-hating anti-Semites.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Dreamweasel said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:04
What the hell is “GrassTopsUSA”?
What does “GrassTopsUSA” even mean?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:07
What the hell is “GrassTopsUSA”?
WAGE WEB WARFARE AGAINST THE LIBERAL ESTABLISHMENT:
WWWATLE
Does that answer your question, Dreamweasel?
TheInternets said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:13
Everyone does realize that the source of the whole semite schism was over a bowl of soup, right?
Curly Howard said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:19
Don Feder’s still around?
He was insane 20 years ago.
That said, this article from September was criminally neglected.
http://www.grasstopsusa.com/tt091808.html
Dr. BDH said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:23
“So like T. Boone Pickens, I say drill, drill, drill on Sarah Palin.”
- Tara Tedrow
Verily, this cannot be made up. Thanks, Curly!
Righteous Bubba said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:24
What the hell is “GrassTopsUSA”?
Trickle-down propaganda.
Loneoak said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:25
If the grassroots is the people’s movement, wouldn’t the grasstops be the people on top. Isn’t that … elitist?
rob said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:29
As a Jew, I can honestly admit that I am not a thinking, sentient being who preferred Obama’s policies on Israel and other topics, but I’m a robot. When my democratic masters call I simply obey. Oh I wish I could think like Feder.
PeeJ said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:30
Grasstops are what gets cut off when you run the mower. Then they lie around where they fell, slowly rotting. See also ‘putamina’.
TurkeyRoost said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:37
And watch Obama turn up the attack ads, hoping his superstar status will preceded his inability to be a Commander in Chief.
– Tara Tedrow
Only a champion debate master could get away with that logic. Logic and grammar.
But look – long blond hair and no adam’s apple!
Coach Urban Meyer said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:41
Ding dong dilly, libs! The Cool Coach has been watching with giddy glee at the Obummer take a dive in the polls, only bailed out at the last minute by his support of Joltin’ Joementum himself! Apparently you CAN’T pal around with terrorists and Marxists and fool people for very wrong. Whoopsie, loony libs!
Super Sarah, the Power Palin, looms in 2012, bolstered by a potential Boss Bobby Jindal running mate, and soon you loony libs will be running scared. Badoodle-boo-yeah! That’s what we here in the Swamp call a SPREAD OF TRUTH! Urban out.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:49
Norbizness must be very busy.
Heck, even Swampland is calling him out.
The Left, that’s who —
~
Honus said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:52
Coach,
How many payrolls have you met?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:54
I believe the Coach has met all of them.
luneylegume said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:57
Don Feder’s still around?
He was insane 20 years ago.
He has earned a special sauce merit badge for comprehensive insanity . I am not even a psychologist and I say award this feder with an arse cluster badge of loose as a goose order of merit , directly .
Yikes !
pch1013 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:02
In other ODS news, I was listening to NPR this morning and they had a report about Jonestown.
“Self,” I thought to myself, “surely the wingnuts won’t go there. And,” I added, “don’t call me Shirley.”
Oh, how wrong I was.
Honus said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:03
I’m just guessing, but maybe American Jews, like many Israelis, have figured out that it is tough to kill your way to peace.
Honus said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:07
Righteous Bubba said,
I believe the Coach has met all of them.
I was just taking a flyer on the outside chance the coach and The Truth were the same person.
Pere Ubu said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:13
Coach Urban Meyer said,
November 18, 2008 at 20:41
It’s really sad when they don’t take their meds regularly.
Objective Scrutator said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:15
If you ask me, this line was a brilliant insight:
Yes, my friends, Jewish people hate themselves, which is why we evangelical Christians are so strident to convert them. If you can hate yourself so much as to vote for a Nazi sympathizer, then you really do need to see the light of Jesus.
pedestrian said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:16
They are even smarter than he realizes. In 2000, Muslims voted for Bush 42-32%. Death to America!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6056602/
Righteous Bubba said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:17
I was just taking a flyer on the outside chance the coach and The Truth were the same person.
Unlikely. The Cool Coach incorporates a number of styles, always upping his game to provide the finest in frenzied conservative glossolalia.
The Truth is just dull.
Smut Clyde said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:18
I like Feder’s urban-camouflage tie, that allows him to blend in against the brick-wall background.
StringonaStick said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:19
Honus, my Jewish relatives either have just come around to that POV,or were always there inthe first place.
And thinking that all Jews vote alike is fairly insulting; it’s like saying all catholics vote alike. I was going to add Mormons and Limpballs listeners to my list, but then the comparison would totally fall apart.
Scott said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:24
Christ almighty, it’s Don Fucking Feder.
I was so damn happy when he “retired” a few years back. Good riddance to one of the punditocracy’s craziest, evilest, most hate-filled shitmoatians? I shoulda known he’d never be able to keep from inflicting himself on us.
actor212 said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:28
What the hell is “GrassTopsUSA”?
Four white guys from Iowa who do a Four Tops tribute concert?
Billy Mays said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:30
Super Sarah, the Power Palin
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Billy Mays here with my newest product, the Power Palin! It sucks, it blows, it does everything you expect a Republican to do AND MORE! You can hang pictures, drill for oil, keep your husband’s ties ironed and dig a trench from here to Dubuque!
But wait!
Pere Ubu said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:32
the Power Palin! It sucks, it blows,
Ick.
Just ick.
DAS said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:37
Bonus “Shorter Don Feder”s:
* Obama being Black and having the middle name of Hussein should have translated into the Jewish vote going Republican. That so many Jews are not racist pricks means they must not care enough about Israel.
* When non-Jews (or even lefty Jews) complain about Jews doing [X] (e.g. having “dual loyalties”), I’ll be the first to scream about anti-Semitism. However, I sincerely feel that all good Jews should do [X]: Jews who fail to confirm anti-Semitic stereotypes via their voting patterns are bad Jews who hate Israel and their fellow Jews.
* I wish I were non-Jewish so I could be an anti-Semite. I just love to rant and rave about George Soros and the international Jewish/Communist conspiracy.
GeoX said,
November 18, 2008 at 21:59
I would like to go on the record as stating that The Coach is by far my favorite S,N! troll ever. He is consistently creative and hilarious, and I hope he keeps up the good work.
gainsayer said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:14
Geez, he’s really let himself go since his days playing guitar for the Eagles.
I’m sorry, what’s that? Oh.
Never mind.
The Goddamn Batman Liked Sutherland's Seventies Films Better said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:25
I would guess, at first glance, that Feder is trying to get laid by pretending that he’s Donald Sutherland.
Bitter Scribe said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:26
Is this pimple still around? I thought once the Boston Herald got rid of him, he’d have to get a real job.
Dreamweasel said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:32
Shorter Don Feder V:
Shame on the liberal Jews, robotically marching in lockstep. Why can’t they emulate those thoughtful and independent evangelical Christians?
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:32
Shorter Feder:
“Where do all the Jews get off voting for a shvartzer!”
Fucking drip.
actor212 said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:47
Shorter Feder:
“Hey you Jews! Get off my lonke!!!!”
Sarcastro said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:48
GrassToppo?
Candy said,
November 18, 2008 at 22:55
You know, I wouldn’t suspect this guy of being a wingnut just to look at him. He looks like a friendly old grampa or an absent-minded perfesser type. Most of the wingnuts look like serial killers who can’t quite get up the nerve to act out, or else they look like clowns in desparate need of a really crappy one ring circus to employ them. Jonah fits into the latter category.
Euripides said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:03
Candy, if you look really hard you can tell that it’s just Donald Sutherland in heavy makeup/prosthetics. Must be a method acting project.
MzNicky said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:06
I have only recently discovered that there actually is an actual person known as Coach Urban Meyer. He apparently is an actual coach besides.
Candy said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:18
FYWP
Yeah, he does look like Donald Sutherland. Or a more horse faced Howard Hesseman.
Coach Urban really annoys me with that whole “ding dong dilly” thing. Give me good ol’ RUGGED any day. Best parody troll ever.
Dreamweasel said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:24
Whither GREENMAN?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 18, 2008 at 23:28
Coach Urban really annoys me with that whole “ding dong dilly” thing.
Good lord, that’s the entrance, like Kramer falling through a doorway. Indispensable.
actor212 said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:07
Yea, but MzNicky, how likely is it that Coach Urban Meyer’s greatest regret was not stuffing enough meat in his mouth?
I wonder if he’s related to Increase Mather?
Smut Clyde said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:15
Let me introduce you to my Puritan ancestor, Usually Sober Bimler.
actor212 said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:17
Let me introduce you to my Puritan ancestor, Usually Sober Bimler
Didn’t he run in the Minehead By-Election?
Oh wait, that was Beinrich Bimler. My error.
jim said,
November 19, 2008 at 0:44
Roach Meyer makes my teeth grind, as does the original Ned Flanders … TruthBorg’s amusing in his own way – loathe his POV but I have to give kudos to someone that cheerfully determined not to perceive their ongoing chumphood … but there’s no troll I’ve yet seen here that can hold a candle to the magic that is LONNY MARTELLO!
I think he’s actually non-hostile to the site, which just makes it that much weirder to read his all-caps hurricanes of full-bore surrealism – & give sincere thanks that he doesn’t live down the hall from me.
The cool thing being that I honestly cannot tell for the life of me whether I agree with him or not – or even be all that sure what in hell he’s actually trying to say. Truly a brother from another mother.
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
November 19, 2008 at 1:15
This guy sucked when he played guitar for the Eagles and he sucks now.
commie atheist said,
November 19, 2008 at 6:04
How can you not love a woman who writes something like this?
http://www.grasstopsusa.com/tt091808.html
Brian X said,
November 19, 2008 at 6:34
I avoid Don Feder, but I do remember one column he wrote the last time Puerto Rican statehood came up, where he compared PR to Dogpatch from Li’l Abner and couldn’t seem to understand that even people who understood the reference would find it insulting.
xyse said,
November 19, 2008 at 17:38
Bad math? 40+35 = 75%, not the 77% that voted for Obama. So, 2% of the solid Orthodox Jewish vote went for Obama, according to his numbers. I guess they *did* decide what was best for America.
Mr. Wonderful said,
November 19, 2008 at 20:43
I know this thread is over, but if anyone is reading this and hasn’t clicked to read Tara Tedrow’s Swankian masterpiece, I urge you to do so.
There are many gems here, but here is my current favorite:
“She might not have a $28,000 per seat fundraiser sponsored by Barbara Streisand, but she has won a priceless seat at the table of every average American’s table.”
I wish I had written that. Curly Howard: well done, sir. Or ma’am. You decide.
Mr. Wonderful said,
November 19, 2008 at 20:44
And isn’t Don Feder the guy from Fort Lee, New Jersey who was always
writing to Roseann Roseannadanna?
Athenawise said,
November 19, 2008 at 21:40
On a related note: Regarding the kneejerk neo-con/evangelical embrace of Israel, Mr. Grasstops and his Jewish friends know that when the Rapture comes, they won’t be in it, right?
Just sayin’ …
Athenawise said,
November 19, 2008 at 21:44
That was Richard Feder, Mr. Wonderful. But thanks for the memory.
actor212 said,
November 20, 2008 at 0:17
Like, Tara totally has a Fathead of Sarah Palin on her dorm wall, I’m shorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre…