Nov
18

Racially Incriminating Michelle Obama Tape Update




Posted at 7:02 by Gavin M.

Say, I wonder what’s going on over at African Press InternaOH MY GOD


Above: The Obama thugs have gotten Chief Editor Korir

Oh wait:

Urgent Update

African Press International is under attack by those trying to shut down the Cerifi-Gate investigation. Earlier today, there was a fire at the phone exchange in Norway that services API’s offices, and, less than an hour ago (as I write this on Sunday afternoon), WordPress has shut down API’s site for supposed “Terms of Service” violations. I have read WordPress’s TOS, and, in my opinion, API had committed no such violations. All of this took place while Mr. Korir was en route from Norway to the UK regarding arrangements for release of the Michelle Obama Tapes.

We have spoken over the phone with API Chief Editor Arap Korir, and offered our assistance in carrying the API site on our server until he can make permanent arrangements. We have also spoken with Phil Berg to advise him of this situation.

Fortunately, we have PDF file duplicates of most of the API material we have linked to here, are are working on replacing the links to the now-disabled site with links to our PDF files.

Earlier this week, I said this is starting to read like a bad spy novel. That novel has now come to life in a very real, very ominous way.

Is this the “Change” many of you voted for? If there is nothing to hide, why all the herculean efforts to hide it?

—————————————-

API wishes to thank MarchReport for the offer but decline to accept. API will now get its own permanent Website with its own WWW domain. Enemies who are jealous to see API grow managed to create lies and fed WordPress with them, misleading them to take action by closing us. I would like to state that we loved WordPress and will still do so, because this problem was not created by them by lies envious of us. Now they see us continue to grow.

By Chief Editor Korir

This seems reasonable. We can expect to hear the tape shortly.

157 Comments »

  1. roy edroso said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:05

    Man, that’s some high-class international news organization they’ve got there. I bet the goat hooked to the generator just stopped going in circles.

  2. TheDeadlyShoe said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:05

    Their own domain? Hosting? Why, that might cost $20/month! They’re movin’ on up for sure.

  3. Dachse und Pelikane™³²®© said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:12

    Sie entgehen nicht!

  4. Doctorb said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:13

    This guy is great. Yes, it seems like a bad spy novel. So point that out — obviously, nobody who was lying to you would produce so trite and transparent a Dog Ate My Homework And Then Caught Fire story — so it must be true!

    I love API. That guy is as good as “Martin Eisenstadt”, I think.

  5. Cleshaunta Minorities the Saucier said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:13

    I would like to state that we loved WordPress and will still do so, because this problem was not created by them by lies envious of us.

    What going we to do are?

  6. kc said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:13

    Chief Editor Korir is a GENIUS.

  7. Gundamhead said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:17

    API, the gift that keeps on giving. I’m pretty sure it’s just some kid screwing around with these idiots. What were Ace o Spades and Confederate Yankee’s reactions? I find it hard to believe that even those knuckleheads are still buying this crap. Though I’d to be amused to be proven wrong.

  8. Gavin M. said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:19

    Oh, they just moved on as though they’d never pushed the story. Always some new thing with those gentlemen.

  9. Secret Agent Flowbee™³²®© said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:19

    Come now, Dungamhead. Sure, the folks you mention are fools.

    But there’s no way an intelligence professional would fall for a gag like this.

  10. J— said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:20

    If you put the API’s WordPress address into your RSS reader, you may still be able to access the last posts that went up Sunday morning. The very last one includes a couple of ominous emails (“The Monkey is in the Rowboat.”) from someone named Badger. That’s right, Badger.

  11. Cousin Roowakes Gut the Exotic Dancer said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:21

    Link not posting: change the URL to id27 and you’ll see a pretty naked attempt to harvest e-mail and phone numbers.

  12. Doctorb said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:23

    Change the URL to [REDACTED] and you’ll see a pretty naked lady.

  13. "..." said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:24

    It’s been a very long time since I’ve found myself detouring through Norway on a super-secret mission.

    Really brings back the memories.

  14. Attain Corning-Uninterestingly the Draftsman said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:26

    Goddammit my porn’s been redacted again, and i wanted it DACTED.

  15. J— said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:26

    2,949,418 visitors and counting! They must be doing something right.

  16. Sifu Tweety said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:27

    I wish I could send them some money, somehow.

  17. Secret Agent Flowbee™³²®© said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:27

    Cousin Roowakes Gut the Exotic Dancer, you sure got a purty name!

  18. D Johnston said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:33

    I bet that a lot of the people still following the UPI crap had an older sibling or friend tell them an interesting story when they were kids. They heard about an invisible man named Alex who would reward them with candy if they were very nice and talked to him now and then.

    I wonder how long it took before they stopped talking to Alex? Maybe some of them still are.

  19. Lolly said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:35

    Alex? Is that you? Alex? Alex?

  20. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:37

    Redacted? For pr0n you need to blueact it.

  21. handy said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:41

    Redacted? For pr0n you need to blueact it.

    Yo whaaa?! “Blueact it”? Isn’t that some kind of antifungal cream?

  22. Yinecessitates Oralee the Grenadier said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:48

    If you tesseract it you can have an orgy with one person.

  23. FlipYrWhig said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:50

    Tough actin’ Blueactin!

  24. Anonymous said,

    November 18, 2008 at 7:57

    API, the gift that keeps on giving. I’m pretty sure it’s just some kid screwing around with these idiots.
    ————————————————————————–
    Commentators at Rump Roast are convinced that Sadly!No guys are behind the API

  25. Fee Waybill said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:00

    I was Chief Editor Korir before you were Chief Editor Korir.

  26. Anonymous said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:00

    API, the gift that keeps on giving. I’m pretty sure it’s just some kid screwing around with these idiots.
    ————————————————————————–
    Commentators at Rump Roast are convinced that Sadly!No guys are behind the API .

  27. Doug Watts said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:01

    The IMF needs to elect Chief Editor Korir to be CPA of Iceland’s bank account.

  28. Doug Watts said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:03

    Fear of a Black Chief Editor Korir Planet.

  29. Doug Watts said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:09

    Gavin !!!

    Texas Darlin’ requires your attention:

    We stand on the edge of a caldera* with no idea of the complexity, depth, explosiveness, or unpredictability of this phenomenon we have witnessed in the rise of Barack Obama ! We as a country have never actually been here before, standing at the edge of possible dissolution of our country, except perhaps in the election of 1860. One realizes at once the perils of both diving into that hot pool of water, or running away to avoid the explosion….either scenario leads to serious burns!

  30. noen said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:11

    This is when they send out an e-mail to all their donors expressing their deep regrets. The money is gone.

  31. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:12

    API Chief Editor Arap Korir

    I’m usually pretty suspicious of people whose names look like typos.

    Usually.

  32. noen said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:13

    “Four Questions For The Trojan Candidate”

    Interesting choice of words there.

  33. noen said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:14

    The typo only proves that it is real.

  34. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:15

    “Four Questions For The Trojan Candidate”

    1. Ribbed?
    2. Lubricated?
    3. Reservoir tip?
    4. Single, three-pack, or box of twelve?

  35. Doug Watts said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:16

    In the stark, dessicated section of Tanzania where Chief Editor Korir was born and raised, they could only afford to give every other child a first name.

  36. Malignant Bouffant, Tall Drip said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:25

    One, two…testing…

  37. Malignant Bouffant, Tall Drip said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:26

    Just once more, I’ll try this.

  38. M. Bouffant said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:27

    And again.

  39. Captain Yojfudcregum Screamers the Weaponsmith said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:30

    Hey there. My iguana just died. When the doctor opened Sing Lee A-Cha-Cha up she found a tube festering in Sing Lee A-Cha-Cha’s tongue. I miss Sing Lee A-Cha-Cha so much…

  40. Loneoak said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:33

    I would like to state that we loved WordPress and will still do so

    The surest sign that they are liars yet.

  41. Loneoak said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:34

    I think I finally figured out what element of the WordPress terms of service that API must have violated: persistent kerning errors.

  42. API Bob said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:39

    API wishes to thank MarchReport for the offer but decline to accept. We are in control. They are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by closing our WordPress account and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards. We will embroil them, confuse them and keep them in the quagmire. They have begun to tell more lies so that they might continue with the perpetration of their crimes. May they be accursed.

  43. jim said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:40

    No no no no no no nooooooo!

    This scam is just too beautiful to die!
    You blew it all up! Damn you, WordPress! Damn you to … huh? They’re keeping the feed alive & getting their own website?

    Whew!

    That devastatingly awful Michelle Obama tape will be exploding upon an amazed world, just about any old time now, really soon, maybe!

    “Four Questions For The Trojan Candidate”

    Sounds like somebody’s still sulky over the Durex candidate not holding up under pressure – his campaign strategy was riddled with holes – but there’s no successful prophylaxis against reality.

  44. johnbinpt said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:43

    C’mon, Gavin, admit it: YOU are Chief Editor Korir.

    And teasing the retarded is NOT funny.

  45. Doctorb said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:50

    This reminds me, who’s interested in starting up a Colossus of Crawford Fund?

  46. Nylund said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:56

    There are two things I very much wish:

    1. Chief Editor Korir has extracted large sums of money form these wingnuts

    2. Chief Editor Korir is in fact Gavin.

  47. Candy said,

    November 18, 2008 at 8:58

    I’m beginning to think Sadly,Nosians are behind this as well. It’s just so . . . perfect.

  48. Fred Fiddiddlehop said,

    November 18, 2008 at 9:04

    And if you subscribe now to the secret Michelle Obama tape club, they’ll throw in a free copy of a Beta cassette of Ladybird Johnson on a secret never-aired extra-bawdy episode of Laugh-In.

  49. justme said,

    November 18, 2008 at 9:09

    Man, I wish I had thought of doing that. Maybe next time.

  50. Gustave Flaubert said,

    November 18, 2008 at 9:10

    Chief Editor Korir c’est moi.

  51. bongoman said,

    November 18, 2008 at 9:13

    Mountain Sage has been doing a great job keeping up with Chief Editor Korir’s antics.

    Shades of Larry Sinclair…both are object lessons on the extent of human gullibility.

  52. Andre said,

    November 18, 2008 at 9:23

    You know what was funny about the WordPress API site?

    Not one of the commenters ever posted “FYWP”. That’s pretty goddamn suspicious, if you ask me.

  53. OneMan said,

    November 18, 2008 at 9:33

    “Not one of the commenters ever posted “FYWP”.”

    That’s just because none of yon posts was sufficiently wondrous.

  54. A Norwegian said,

    November 18, 2008 at 9:33

    Hjelpe! Korir’s telefon er sluke inne flammen!

  55. Andre said,

    November 18, 2008 at 9:35

    Also, imagine if Sammy arap Korir was Larry Johnson’s original source…

  56. Gary Ruppert said,

    November 18, 2008 at 10:01

    Don’t tell anyone, but I created API.

  57. Doctorb said,

    November 18, 2008 at 10:21

    It’s funny, because it seems to me that the authorization and defense of torture, the suspension of habeas corpus, the shredding of even the flimsy fig-leaf of FISA, more “signing statements” than any other US President, the “unique” position of the VP, and the whole “unitary executive” doctrine were all pretty much huge abuses of the Constitution and the rule of law.

    On the other hand, Obama wants to raise the top marginal tax rate from 35% to 39%, and that makes him Stalin Junior?

  58. a different brad said,

    November 18, 2008 at 10:31

    Damn.
    Looks like Korir isn’t anyone in disguise, but rather a Kenyan in Norway with scams in his past.
    Sux, I wanted to have a new interweb hero.
    FYWP, preemptively.

  59. a different brad said,

    November 18, 2008 at 10:40

    But that doesn’t mean the tape isn’t real, of course. I eagerly await its release.

  60. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 10:58

    We stand on the edge of a caldera
    You are standing on the edge of a caldera. Ahead is a possibly complex, deep, explosive, or unpredictable phenomenon, in the form of the rise to power of Barack Obama. Do you
    (a) Dive into that hot pool of water, or
    (b) run away to avoid the explosion.

  61. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:06

    trying to shut down the Cerifi-Gate investigation.
    Every time the Japanese Ministry of International Trade and Industry is embroiled in scandal, I like to think that the local media speak of MITI-gate.

  62. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:11

    This reminds me, who’s interested in starting up a Colossus of Crawford Fund?
    A Brave new world will rise from the ashes
    And there upon a rock titanic, I’ll cast a giant shadow on the face of the deep
    And never again will they dare to call me
    A freckled, spotty, specky, four eyed weedy little creep!

  63. A Norwegian said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:16

    In 1980-81 Mr Korir was charged with grand embezzlement but the case was dropped when evidence got burnt in the office. Mr Korir reported that the cause of fire was a copying machine which had exploded.

    Hjelpe! Korir’s Xerox er sluke inne flammen!

  64. a different brad said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:28

    Sorry bongoman for glazing over your comment on the way to the bottom of the page to write pretty much the same thing.

  65. C said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:33

    Run like the wind, Chief Editor Korir!

  66. a different brad said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:37

    Although I just noticed that the comments there explain why the site was taken down. Something to do with Korir posting IPs and personal info of people who managed to personally irk him.
    Sigh, ignorance was bliss.

  67. Mabel Isochronal said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:44

    I just wish somebody would make a breakfast cereal out of all this. With Chief Editor Arap Korir as a Cap’N Crunch-like figure on the front of the box. And maybe they could call it Korir-eos, and it could have little marshmallow cassette tapes and flakes imprinted with phony birth certificates. And, like, the box would advertise a toy surprise inside, but when you opened it up, there’d just be a postcard saying the toy wasn’t available yet, but if you’d send in the postcard, they’d send you the toy as soon as possible. And you’d wait and wait and wait, but finally, they’d contact you and tell you that there’d been an explosion in their cereal factory in Norway and you’d really start to wonder if there was ever a toy at all. And so you’d looked wistfully at the smiling face of Chief Editor Arap Korir on your box of Korir-eos and maybe one small tear would roll down your cheek and drop onto your bowl of cereal, which still remained crispy, even with milk, even with tears.

  68. a different brad said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:46

    Oh, also

    Mountain Sage
    November 1, 2008 at 8:34 am

    If you look on this page: http://africanpress.wordpress.com/2008/05/03/want-to-study-in-norway/

    you can see the information he has been mining from the poor people who think he’s going to help them get a free education in Norway. I have a feeling it is the basis of, and the biggest part of his scam. It’s not like he hasn’t fleeced poor students before.

    Alas, alas.

  69. Ginger Yellow said,

    November 18, 2008 at 11:58

    “trying to shut down the Cerifi-Gate investigation.
    Every time the Japanese Ministry of International Trade and Industry is embroiled in scandal, I like to think that the local media speak of MITI-gate.”

    Don’t forget the appalling typeface scandal, Serif-gate.

  70. Doctorb said,

    November 18, 2008 at 12:16

    You are standing on the edge of a caldera. Ahead is a possibly complex, deep, explosive, or unpredictable phenomenon, in the form of the rise to power of Barack Obama.
    There is an explosion here.

    w

    You can’t go that way.

    exits

    You can exit into the hot pool, or run from the explosion.

    get explosion

    You can’t take that.

    give cookie to explosion

    The explosion makes burnin noises.

  71. alec said,

    November 18, 2008 at 12:20

    Looks like Korir isn’t anyone in disguise, but rather a Kenyan in Norway with scams in his past.
    Sux, I wanted to have a new interweb hero.
    FYWP, preemptively.

    I was really hoping he would be a scammer. I love the idea of people sinking money into this guy – they just seem so desperate to see one of America’s more popular presidents-Elect shamed by his (allegedly, it’s all on the tape, etc.) loony wife or anything that at this point they’d give a deposed archduke who swears up and down to have had an affair with Malia in the 70s, causality be damned, their primary bank account.

    Just would someone please shoot that terrible, no-good black man.

  72. Teaflax said,

    November 18, 2008 at 13:45

    We stand on the edge of a candelabra.

    And who saves web pages in PDF format?

  73. Tom65 said,

    November 18, 2008 at 13:45

    Best Nigerian Scam Ever

  74. J— said,

    November 18, 2008 at 13:59

    Don’t be fooled. Chief Editor Korir is onto this “Mountain Sage” operative. From Sunday, November 16, 2008:

    Thank you Good American Group for investigating for us on people like Mountain Sage and her Kenyan colluders living in the US
    by africanpress

    Subject: Three things about people like the so called “mountain sage and her colluders to destroy API” in order to deprive the American people from knowing the truth about Barack Obama

    The case is now in FBI’ Hands. Those Kenyans in this may face charges and will most likely be deported back to Kenya for committing a federal crime or languish in jail for a good number of years.
    Mountain Sage with her colluders has a mission: To destroy API, who they see as a challenger of waht they do not want ot be challenged. We are now engaging 100 Americans get down to earth on this problem and we will finally come through positively.
    We have now started locating who the families are, of Mountains Sage’s Kenyan supporters who colluded with her. People like Grace, Ongeri and the others.
    We are getting deep in this and we will succeed.
    Their mission was to close us down. We will not allow them to get their. Their mission was to scare off our readers/posters: They will not succeed. We have now got 12 computers and 24 API Monitors to do the job of screening every comment minute by minute and blacklisting any IP with suspiscious sentences, while retrieving the comments and IPs for follow up purposes with the FBI.
    We will not be answering questions directly posed by all the readers on any sensitive issues we deal with. And we will nor be confirming our whereabouts to anyone becaues many will try to be the good guys and yet they are not. Many will pretend to be those we already trust in order to get information from us. To cut this out, we will not engage in any close sharing of information if we do not know you good enough.
    We ask the good readers who want to know the truth to help also by getting anything on Mountain Sage and people from her area of residence who we can contact so that they ay know she is stopping them from knowing the truth.
    We ask all good private investigators who are interested in this case and have the ability to volunteer their services to help API in the interest of truth!

    Emails with damning data follow.

    The fact that the link does not currently work strengthens his point.

  75. Willy said,

    November 18, 2008 at 14:19

    The best part of API was the comments by those who were so desirous of a tape actually existing. It was the purest form of confirmation bias I’ve ever seen. The way they were so deferential to Korir (as if being nice was hastening the release of the tape) showed they would believe anything that seemed to confirm their most fervent wishes.

    I was expecting that he’d release the tape and it’d be Rick Astley. Pwned!

    Sadly, no(t yet)

  76. TheInternets said,

    November 18, 2008 at 14:28

    Don’t forget the People Reaching Out For the Lord’s Intervention – GATE.

  77. Secret Agent Flowbee™³²®© said,

    November 18, 2008 at 14:46

    I was expecting that he’d release the tape and it’d be Rick Astley. Pwned!

    That would be awesome.

  78. Some Guy said,

    November 18, 2008 at 15:24

    “Earlier today, there was a fire at the phone exchange in Norway that services API’s offices,”

    So, the wingnuts aren’t concerned at all that the AFRICAN Press International’s offices are in Norway? That doesn’t raise any flags? Really? Ooop, hold on, I’m getting my latest news update about Mongolian/Nepalese international relations from Central Asia Quarterly, based in Rio de Janeiro. This is the “Top Ten Restaurants of the Caspian East Bank” issue! EEEEEEE~!

  79. LD said,

    November 18, 2008 at 15:26

    Does API also have information on what happened to the WMD:s in Iraq? They might know where they are hidden now, just waiting to release the tape…

    I just wish for one thing: When the whole thing is over, Our dear friend Korir will tell who payed and how much to get a copy of the tape.

    As for gates, if there had been a scandal involving FORd and NIxon, what would that have been called?

  80. A_z said,

    November 18, 2008 at 15:28

    they just seem so desperate to see one of America’s more popular presidents-Elect shamed by his (allegedly, it’s all on the tape, etc.) loony wife or anything that at this point they’d give a deposed archduke who swears up and down to have had an affair with Malia in the 70s, causality be damned, their primary bank account.

    ——————————————————————————————–

    They don’t want the tape to shame Obama . They are convinced that if the tape comes out Obama’s electors wouldn’t vote for him . They were excitedly discussing how electors are not required to vote for the candidate who has wn their electoral college . Just like the PUMA’s were arguing that the pledged delegates were not really pledged . Democracy is the inalienable right of the Americans until they elect a black man . Then the only thing that counts is to make sure that the White House remains white , if necessary by fraud or by a coup .

  81. Gerald Fnord™³²®© said,

    November 18, 2008 at 15:28

    As for gates, if there had been a scandal involving FORd and NIxon, what would that have been called?

    If?

  82. Anonymous said,

    November 18, 2008 at 15:33

    I was really hoping he would be a scammer. I love the idea of people sinking money into this guy – they just seem so desperate to see one of America’s more popular presidents-Elect shamed by his (allegedly, it’s all on the tape, etc.) loony wife or anything that at this point they’d give a deposed archduke who swears up and down to have had an affair with Malia in the 70s, causality be damned, their primary bank account.

    ——————————————————————————————————-

    They don’t want the tape to shame Obama . They are convinced that if the tape comes out Obama’s electors wouldn’t vote for him . They were excitedly discussing how electors are not required to vote for the candidate who has wn their electoral college . Just like the PUMA’s were arguing that the pledged delegates were not really pledged . Democracy is the inalienable right of the Americans until they elect a black man . Then the only thing that counts is to make sure that the White House remains white , even by fraud or by a coup if necessary .

  83. Dean Booth said,

    November 18, 2008 at 15:37

    Rick has just arrived at API to investigate:
    http://heylookhear.com/africanpress.wordpress.com/rr

  84. ice weasel said,

    November 18, 2008 at 15:37

    “Those who wish to know the date and time the tapes will be aired may sign their emails on the site mail register provided on the front page near the guestbook. We will require the correct email and telephone number so as to verify by phone that we are releasing information to the right people.”

    Now that will be one motherfucker of a sucker list.

    ring-ring

    “hello”

    “good day sir or madam. If you wire money to our secret detective firm we can guarantee the imposter, barack obama will be thrown out of office. How much money will you send us today? Additional bonuses, if you act now, include a piece of the true cross and special commemorative patriot patch…”

    oh yeah.

  85. LittlePig said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:07

    “Look upon my works, ya’ll mighty, and despairicate!”

  86. Jennifer said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:16

    This is obviously a hoax. If there really was an API headquartered in Norway, the reason the site went down would have been that a moose bit his sister.

    Moose bites can be very nastii.

    (sorry I lack the technical know-how for the requisite diagonal strikethroughs on the o’s)

  87. tigrismus said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:16

    Goddammit my porn’s been redacted again, and i wanted it DACTED.

    Cold will do that to you- try getting warm.

    Hjelpe! Korir’s telefon er sluke inne flammen!

    GodsDAMMIT that was my last cup of tea!

    give cookie to explosion…

    …The explosion makes burnin noises.

    You porn is now fully dacted.

  88. henry lewis said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:16

    Obama Thugs™ are the new black helicopters.

  89. Fluffybunnyfeet said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:21

    “I was Chief Editor Korir before you were Chief Editor Korir.”

    Mr(?) Waybill, I knew Chief Editor Korir.

    I served with Chief Editor Korir.

    Chief Editor Korir was a friend of mine.

    (ALL TOGETHER NOW!!!)

  90. Legalize said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:26

    I am Chief Editor Korir. Please send $20 so that I can pay for postage to send a tape of Barack Obama eating a white baby while Michelle Obama looks on saying “eat that white baby,” to the offices of the Washington D.C.

    I will not be silenced by Obama thugs.

  91. dan b said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:29

    What about the possibility that Mountain Sage and Chief Editor Korir are one and the same?

  92. henry lewis said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:32

    (sorry I lack the technical know-how for the requisite diagonal strikethroughs on the o’s)

    These will do in a pinch. Help yourself.

  93. MzNicky said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:37

    I love this thread so much I am weeping with joy and much laughter.

  94. The Fool said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:42

    Wow that is pathetic. Those guys suck ass almost as hard as punk music.

    Good morning stoopid punk bitchiz!!!

  95. itwasntme said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:45

    And here I was, thinking that Sadly wouldn’t have anything much to write about after Obama’s stunning win, and sanity returned. Not for some time now, I think.

    Attending all the funerals will take at least two years.

  96. mdh said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:51

    API is annieangel, isn’t it?

  97. mdh said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:53

    2,949,418 visitors and counting! They must be doing something right.

    Bots love soap operas.

  98. Shell Goddamnit said,

    November 18, 2008 at 16:58

    “In many Tarot decks The Fool is depicted as one about to walk off a cliff.”

    I prefer The Hanged Man.

    Ahem.

  99. Seaman Artichokes the Sider said,

    November 18, 2008 at 17:10

    http://africanpress.tripod.com/id28.html

    The American elections is now behind us. To the run up to the elections the Michelle Obama interview tape come into light and many people have since then shown great interest to get the tape aired so that they judge for themselves, what the contents may mean to the American people.

    It is important now to be calm and do the right thing.

    [...]

    To achieve this, those readers interested in any further information on the two topics are required to do the following:

    1. Register with us their real full names
    2. Register with us their real email address
    3. Register with us their real telephone number(s)
    4. Register their country of residence.

  100. Ripley said,

    November 18, 2008 at 17:11

    It’s a sad day when all dirt is thrown on an upstanding organization like API.

    I’m reminded of the words of the great poet, David Coverdale:

    The sun is shining
    But it’s raaaaaaaaining in my heart

  101. mikey said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:01

    Does this even work?

    MØØSE…

    mikey

  102. D.N. Nation said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:11

    API, the gift that keeps on giving. I’m pretty sure it’s just some kid screwing around with these idiots. What were Ace o Spades and Confederate Yankee’s reactions? I find it hard to believe that even those knuckleheads are still buying this crap. Though I’d to be amused to be proven wrong.

    Bumblin’ Bob’s talking about guns, Bill Ayers, and Obama’s citizenship these days.

  103. robert green said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:26

    hello friend

    i hope this e-mail finds you well. what i am about to tell you must remain strictly between us, but a possibility for the enbiggerment of both us is surely both good to pass up.

    8 weeks ago a special tape was made that can only be heard by a certain type of preson. i have checkad all available records and you and others who are on non quarter website also free republican and american thinkre are eligible. this tape is worth USD 42 billion. unfortunately do to cirucmstances i can not receive this money without your help. as you are on a lkist from mr. atwater vigurie you are someone who i know will work to help release this money and tape to all western medias.

    if you give me the following:

    1. your bank account number
    2. your PIN
    3. your address
    4. your social security number
    5. your blood tipe
    6. the name of your wife’s maiden

    then i can release the tape adn we can relize the 42 billion together.

    your

    chief editor korir

  104. Robert Green said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:27

    hello friend

    i hope this e-mail finds you well. what i am about to tell you must remain strictly between us, but a possibility for the enbiggerment of both us is surely both good to pass up.

    8 weeks ago a special tape was made that can only be heard by a certain type of preson. i have checkad all available records and you and others who are on non quarter website also free republican and american thinkre are eligible. this tape is worth USD 42 billion. unfortunately do to cirucmstances i can not receive this money without your help. as you are on a lkist from mr. atwater vigurie you are someone who i know will work to help release this money and tape to all western medias.

    if you give me the following:

    1. your bank account number
    2. your PIN
    3. your address
    4. your social security number
    5. your blood tipe
    6. the name of your wife’s maiden

    then i can release the tape adn we can relize the 42 billion together.

    your

    chief editor apu korir

  105. Little Red Henski (bjacques' mask slips) said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:32

    5. Register with us their real bank account numbers
    6. Register with us their real credit cards with expiration dats and 3-digit security numbers on the back

    Lucky they managed to save the important stuff as .pdf files. How will the “whitey” quote sound in .pdf?

  106. API said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:35

    WordPress is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful blog site I’ve ever known in my life.

  107. Wriggled Romancers-Thresholds the Exotic Dancer said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:38

    PDFs can contain audio these days.

  108. Grand Moff Texan said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:38

    Earlier today, there was a fire at the phone exchange in Norway that services API’s offices, and, less than an hour ago

    Ah, my lutefisk voodoo candle. That was $2.50 well spent!
    .

  109. Pere Ubu said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:40

    Earlier today, there was a fire at the phone exchange in Norway that services API’s offices

    API burn down?

  110. Caveat said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:50

    Did the wingers get permission to store and republish the articles from API? Otherwise, there could be a lawsuit brewing…just saying

    If I weren’t out of Pall Malls and my trenchcoat weren’t at the cleaners, I could direct Chief Editor Korir to a safe house in Lichtenstein via Sicily. Oh well, maybe next time.

  111. Dan Someone said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:53

    The comments on the Texas Droolin’ post are eighteen kinds of awesome:

    I feel like we are the good guys on something analogous to the Death Star, and our ship has been analyzed by something evil which is trying to throw a torpedo down the fatally vulnerable airshaft. It’s almost like he studied constitutional law to find the loopholes, aided by Axelrod and Brazile and Rove, who had analyzed the weakness of the nominating system.

    (My emphasis)

  112. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 18, 2008 at 18:58

    This seems reasonable. We can expect to hear the tape shortly.

    Meaning, shortly after the end of Obama’s second term?

  113. Pere Ubu said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:00

    I could direct Chief Editor Korir to a safe house in Lichtenstein via Sicily.

    “Oh, MIke , Mike, I;ve gone blind from forging 500 Swiss passports!”

    (I may be misremembering the line, in which case you my bite me.)

  114. D.N. Nation said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:04

    I feel like we are the good guys on something analogous to the Death Star, and our ship has been analyzed by something evil which is trying to throw a torpedo down the fatally vulnerable airshaft.

    So this is like what it would be like if we were the Empire but the Empire was a force for good and the Rebels were evil.

    Also, the PUMA obsession with Donna Brazile is absurd. What exactly did she do other than support Obama?

  115. InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:06

    My hatred for Joe “Traitor” Leiberman is only matched by my disgust at the craven limp-dicked Democratic senators who enable him.

  116. dan b said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:10

    My hatred for Joe “Traitor” Leiberman is only matched by my disgust at the craven limp-dicked Democratic senators who enable him.

    Spineless fucks.

  117. roseyv said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:19

    Is it possible that the scam part — i.e., the part where they flat out start asking for people’s credit card numbers — was the thing they knew would violate WordPress’ terms of service? And that’s why they wanted to go to a private website?

  118. Rene Magritte from Heaven said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:20

    Ceci n’est pas un Chief Editor Korir.

  119. actor212 said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:24

    I love the fact that API is playing this one more wrinkle closer to the Nigerian inheritance scam.

    They’ve baited the suckers big time…watch for the fundraisers.

  120. Smiling Mortician said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:25

    The lede from the NYT piece:

    Sen. Joe Lieberman will keep his chairmanship of the Senate Homeland Security Committee despite hard feelings over his support for GOP nominee John McCain during the presidential campaign.

    The Connecticut independent will lose a minor panel post as punishment for criticizing Obama this fall.

    Why is the focus on “hard feelings” and “punishment” and Harry Reid’s “anger” (later in the article)? Why can’t these stupid bastards just say, y’know, he’s not a Democrat anymore. He bailed to keep his seat and he can caucus with us if he wants, but he’s not a Democrat anymore. No committee chairmanships. Why can’t they just do that? Why does it have to be so much junior-high intrigue?

  121. roseyv said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:27

    > Looks like Korir isn’t anyone in disguise, but rather a Kenyan in Norway with scams in his past.

    You know, just because there wasn’t a racially incriminating tape that Chief Editor Korir had, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t not a tape that he doesn’t have.

    I’m sorry, but for me, that will never get old.

  122. Pere Ubu said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:34

    Sen. Joe Lieberman will keep his chairmanship of the Senate Homeland Security Committee

    Oh thank god ’cause who could possibly keep us safer than Joe “I object to violence in video games but killing people in the real world is hunky-dory as long as you do it in the name of God and Country” Lieberman?

  123. Malkinite4Palin12 said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:53

    As I exited Arby’s last night with my female companion I became aware of a perp approaching from 7 o’clock at a rate of approximately 12 knots. I gripped the Red Bull opener on my keychain and confronted the perp, shoving him against the wall. Demanded to know what he wanted. Perp said he was trying to get a meal. I punched him once in his scrawny gut for good measure and told him to ask his black marxist president for a handout instead.

  124. Legalize said,

    November 18, 2008 at 19:55

    Well, the good news is that (a) Barack owns Lieberman’s ass for the next 2 years; and (b) the voters of Connecticut are none to pleased with Holy Joe.

  125. dan b said,

    November 18, 2008 at 20:01

    Perp said he was trying to get a meal. I punched him once in his scrawny gut for good measure and told him to ask his black marxist president for a handout instead.

    That was you? Geez, thanks. My stomach is still killing me, jerk.

  126. Gerald Fnord™³²®© said,

    November 18, 2008 at 20:02

    Why can’t they just do that? Why does it have to be so much junior-high intrigue?

    You misunderestimate the power of “Strength through Weakness”.

    Harry Reid’s sensei taught him this secret long ago, as shown in our exclusive manual “How to be a Corporate Warmonger/Whore in 10 Easy Steps”.

  127. David said,

    November 18, 2008 at 20:12

    Tripod? Freakin’ Tripod? So this supposed international news agency has the same budget for Web hosting that I did when I was twelve years old?

  128. Chief Rocker Sammy Korir said,

    November 18, 2008 at 20:21

    So this supposed international news agency has the same budget for Web hosting that I did when I was twelve years old?

    Yes, which is why I hope that I may count on yor kinness, David, in helping to establishment of better host presence for imiportant Africian Press Internationl. I am always happy to share in $48 billion United States, of which you may acquire 60%4 after transfer from your chequing account. I require only you send 1) name, 2) full address, 3) social secruingty numbers, 4) all credit cards numbers and 3 number securingty numbers, and 5) all bank and cheqcuing account access information.

  129. The Big Ruggowski said,

    November 18, 2008 at 20:24

    I can’t decide if I like the API or the PUMAs better.

  130. WereBear said,

    November 18, 2008 at 20:57

    Sen. Joe Lieberman will keep his chairmanship of the Senate Homeland Security Committee

    Where he’s investigating like mad!

    No, wait…

    I am hoping (only hoping) that this is some kind of Jedi mind game and they are digging a pit for Lieberman so he can be seen to hang himself, not get ousted from vindictiveness.

    But really… campaigning for the OTHER party? Isn’t that kinda unprecedented?

  131. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 21:14

    My porn is now fully dacted, but it contains nothing except dachshunds and duct-tape. Surely there has been an mix-up.

  132. tigrismus said,

    November 18, 2008 at 21:34

    That is strange; it was also supposed to include a multi-fingered man reading non-anapaestic poetry.

  133. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 21:45

    Perhaps the porn intended for me has been sent to the wrong re-spondee.

  134. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 21:47

    And the lion shall lie down with the iamb.
    Seriously kinky stuff.

  135. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 21:48

    Also, final joke about well-known porn writer Alexander Trochee.

  136. Righteous Bubba said,

    November 18, 2008 at 21:51

    I can’t stanza guy who won’t let go. It’s enough to give you a caesura.

  137. Smut Clyde said,

    November 18, 2008 at 21:57

    We stand on the edge of a candelabra.
    You are standing in the middle of a maze of winding corridors, all alike. The only light is from candles in wall-sconces.
    It is a candelabyrinth.

  138. actor212 said,

    November 18, 2008 at 22:13

    We stand on the edge of a candelabra.

    Does this mean we’re about to jump into the waters of Venice?

  139. Sage said,

    November 18, 2008 at 22:18

    I’ve been called an Obama operative (I voted for Nader after Hillary didn’t get the nomination. And I’ve been called things I can’t post but the lowest blow is being called one and the same person as Sammy.

  140. The Goddamn Batman May Still Have A Geoshitties Page, In Theory said,

    November 18, 2008 at 22:32

    This is the first time I’ve seen someone create a Tripod page in this millenium. It’s like getting a telegram.

  141. The Goddamn Batman May Still Have A Geosh1tties Page, In Theory said,

    November 18, 2008 at 22:33

    Trying again… This is the first Tripod page that I’ve seen that was created this millenium. It’s like getting a telegram.

  142. Robert said,

    November 18, 2008 at 22:42

    Backwards ran sentences until reeled the mind.

    This is one of the strangest chapters in the ongoing, unspooling
    history of Obama Derangement Syndrome – and to compete
    with Pammie of Atlas Shrugged (“Martin X’s illegitimate son,
    born in Kenya!”) takes some doing. Even among the ranks
    of Norway-based Kenyan scam artists, Chief Editor Korir
    stands head, shoulders, trunk and groin above the rest.

  143. actor212 said,

    November 18, 2008 at 22:49

    Chief Editor Korir stands head, shoulders, trunk and groin above the rest.

    Oh TMI, man!

  144. roac said,

    November 18, 2008 at 22:50

    Has anyone else noticed that “API Chief Editor Arap Korir” is an anagram of “O, a Thai Pork/Fried Rice Pair”? Just thought I’d mention it.

  145. dan b said,

    November 18, 2008 at 23:04

    I’ve been called an Obama operative (I voted for Nader after Hillary didn’t get the nomination. And I’ve been called things I can’t post but the lowest blow is being called one and the same person as Sammy.

    I think you have to admit that it would make for some insanely entertaining internet chicanery were Sammy Korir and one of his fiercest critics actually the same person.

  146. The Big Ruggowski said,

    November 18, 2008 at 23:22

    Unfortunately it seems that this Sammy character is a real person. I was really hoping it was one of Seb’s buddies in Norway or something.

    And what is it with Nigeria and scams? Do they raise their young to one day become a scammer just like uncle Sammy?

  147. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 19, 2008 at 0:59

    And what is it with Nigeria and scams? Do they raise their young to one day become a scammer just like uncle Sammy?

    Nigeria has a lot of Internet cafes. It also has a lot of educated, English-speaking people who desperately need money, and who have been surrounded by corruption their entire lives and so have less than perfect respect for the law.

    Put those two elements together…

  148. Ed said,

    November 19, 2008 at 1:06

    I like pizza

  149. Pere Ubu said,

    November 19, 2008 at 1:07

    It also has a lot of educated, English-speaking people who desperately need money, and who have been surrounded by corruption their entire lives and so have less than perfect respect for the law.

    So then how is it different from, say, national GOP headquarters?

  150. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 19, 2008 at 1:43

    So then how is it different from, say, national GOP headquarters?

    No wingnut welfare

  151. W. Kiernan said,

    November 19, 2008 at 2:01

    Despite WordPress’s cowardly attempt to silence Mr. Korir, the truth will come out! Yes, I’ve been in contact with Mr. Korir, and now I’ve got a copy of the Michelle Obama tape, and here it is! And, my goodness, how this woman goes on! It’s quite shocking!

  152. J— said,

    November 19, 2008 at 2:31

    Let’s have a meeting. Girls, let’s have a meeting.

  153. wow said,

    November 19, 2008 at 3:23

    W. Kiernan, you have WAY to much invested in the whole tracking your mileage thing, but some of the photos are pretty cool… :)

  154. Tara the Antisocial Social Worker said,

    November 19, 2008 at 3:27

    I’m Chief Edior Korir – and so is my wife!

  155. Teh Editas said,

    November 19, 2008 at 5:14

    Arap Korir means the son of Korir. No respectable Kenyan refers to themselves as Arap Korir. It is always preceded by the first name kinda like Daniel arap Moi, former President and tyrant of Kenya. This must be Ashton Kutcher filming an extended episode of Punked.

  156. Bina said,

    November 19, 2008 at 5:39

    Wow. Best Nigerian email scam I never heard of…until now.

    Fnord!

  157. Tonya Gamaliel Harding said,

    November 20, 2008 at 6:01

    They’re Baaa-a-a-ack!

    Lead item:

    API’s Ressurection from the dead: Thanking WordPress for having played major role in our ressurection after 3 days. A miracle just as Jesus was ressurected also after 3 days – We praise the Lord!

    Item two (with broken link):

    JOIN NATION-WIDE PROTEST MARCH “STOP OBAMA NOW”

    Man, this site’s got EVERYTHING!

    From the Chief’s bio (bonus: check out the the name of the html doc):

    I am not ashamed of myself and my past activities, which according to me are not bad activities, but stages in my life towards success that I have achieved during my growing up.

    This stuff is pure gold!

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

  • httpbl_stats()