Clint Bollocks: Obama’s election is just the excuse we need to throw affirmative action out the window.
Linda “Not Cesar or Hugo” Chavez: America can no longer be called a racist country inasmuch as only 48% of the country voted against the Negro. Latinas, however, are still fucked.
Roger Clodd: If a black man can be elected President, it just goes to show that unemployed blacks are lazy.
Wardell Connerly: The only good thing for whites about a black man in the White House is that we no longer need to feel “white guilt.”
Cakehole James: I’m a black conservative who tried to volunteer to work at the polls on Tuesday. Even though the Democrat there was nice to me and the Republican ignored me, I’m still a Republican who hates Obama.
Deroy Turducken: Jesse Jackson is so screwed.
Abigal Drangundsturm: It doesn’t strike me that the Obama family is really all that black because it has two parents and two beautiful children.
W. Bradford Wilcox IV: The best thing about Barry is he probably won’t have an intern perform fellatio on him in the Oval Office.