Nov
7
7
Shorter Tony Perkins
- If Republicans want to get back into power, they have to go back to bedrock conservative principles such as fag-bashing.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions™.
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:26
Let us pray,
Dear Lord, please let Tony Perkins…no, not THAT Tony Perkins…have his way.
Amen.
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:31
Mother, please…! Mother, she’s just a stranger. She’s hungry, and it’s raining out!
henry lewis said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:35
1993 called.
It wants it’s conservative electoral strategy back.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:35
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc2zrarKO-g
henry lewis said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:35
‘its’ not ‘it’s’
Tony Perkin's Closet said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:37
Honey, we need to talk.
Tony Perkin's American Flag Pin said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:38
He fondles me, you know.
Tony Perkin's Teeth said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:39
Look how white we are!
Pere Ubu said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:40
I’ve heard this “the Republicans need to be more conservative” arguement quite a bit in the last week.
How they intend to accomplish it, I don’t know. The mind boggles.
Tony Perkin's Skin said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:40
We envy his teeth.
Tony Perkin's Tie said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:40
Just one little squeeze, just a little tighter, and I’ll never have to listen to his voice again.
Tony Perkin's Suit said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:41
Mmmmmm, I feel so safe and snug. I love corsets.
Tony Perkin's Ears said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:42
Have you ever seen an elephant fly?
MCH said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:42
‘its’ not ‘it’s’
You mean, “It’s ‘its’ not ‘it’s'”?
It gets more complicated if you’re talking about Cousin It.
asdf said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:44
The Republicans are now the Party of the Deep South.
That’s where you ended up when you’d been sold down the river.
I pray the Republican follow this advice and become more conservative.
In 2012 they will be lucky to win Alabama and Mississippi.
Aaron said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:45
I’m happy to agree that the clear lesson of the past election is that the conservative base of the Republican party has been, if anything, too moderate and willing to compromise. Let’s all hope they gain the full and complete access to the levers of power in the Republican party so that they can implement True Conservatism, which will doubtless be popular and effective at reversing this defeat and reclaiming America for Real Americans. If there were any way for me to contribute to this worthy cause, I would eagerly take advantage of it.
Athenawise said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:46
Slowly, now, Mr. Perkins, take your hand off the levers of power and back away into the wilderness.
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:48
You mean, “It’s ‘its’ not ‘it’s’”?
I love me some tit’s…
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:49
Slowly, now, Mr. Perkins, take your hand off the levers of power and back away into the wilderness.
But Pat Robertson hasn’t CUM yet!
JK47 said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:51
I have a wingnut relative who refuses to own the failures of G.W. Bush, because, in his words, Bush is not a conservative. I then ask, “If he’s not a conservative, then what the hell is he? A liberal? A moderate?” The wingnut relative then mumbles a few words, then says, “He’s not a conservative.”
Nobody said their worldview had any coherency to it.
Pere Ubu said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:52
I then ask, “If he’s not a conservative, then what the hell is he? A liberal? A moderate?” The wingnut relative then mumbles a few words, then says, “He’s not a conservative.”
He’s a dessert topping and a floor wax!
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:53
JK47,
This was always going to be the fallback position when he ran in 2000 as a “compassionate conservative”: He can’t be conservaative if he’s compassionate!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:53
This is the Justice Sunday clown. Hey, how did that work out for you? Last one you held was 2006 – and wasn’t that a mid-term election year?
PROTIP for Tony Perkins: U R TRYIN’ 2 HARD. WE CAN TELL U R A BIG0T. kthxbai.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
November 7, 2008 at 18:59
If he’s not a conservative, then what the hell is he? A liberal? A moderate?
Some of teh wingnuts have claimed Dumbya’s a liberal. The correct answer is, IMO, he’s a failure. Wingnuts can’t conceive of a conservative being a failure.
Arky4That1 said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:01
I will be so dissapointed if they give up their struggle to make the GOP into a bigger pit of theo- and so-cons.
I might also point and laugh at the Log Cabin Republicans.
From time-to-time.
Just because.
SkepticRising said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:01
So whatever happened to this “self responsibility” philosophy of the right wing?
Pere Ubu said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:02
Wingnuts can’t conceive of a conservative being a failure.
It’s similar to how Randroids can’t comprehend anyone smart not agreeing with them, so they accuse you of just not thinking hard enough.
Rachel said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:02
If the Republican party gets MORE conservative about “values” the will most certainly lose again. Fiscal conservativism is good. Social conservativism will turn most Americans away. Save that for the churches. We want our government smart and focused on GOVERNMENT issues.
Pere Ubu said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:03
So whatever happened to this “self responsibility” philosophy of the right wing?
11/4 changed everything.
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:04
Hey, Bush was an enormous success. He did a great job of implementing Republican policies. As we knew from the start, they were terrible policies and now we’re stuck with the mess.
Gerald Curl said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:10
“There was clearly no mandate to shift the country to the left on social issues,” Perkins said. “What Tuesday was, was a fact that people wanted change, and it’s a rejection of a moderate view.”
Like voters, I show my dislike of things by doing them. In fact, I hate hamburgers so much, I think I’ll have one for lunch today.
Anonymous said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:13
Compromising is the key to success at home and abroad. We must acknowledge the view points of others and understand that their ideas maybe different than ours. To look back some 30 years and relish the days of Ronald Reagan is foolish. You must include people of color, different age groups, and different races and speak for what they want. There’s a new world and if Tony doesn’t acknowledge it, the GOP will forever wander aimlessly in the woods.
PeeJ said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:19
You have to understand that Karl Rove injected the seed of his permanent R majority plan into the back of Tony’s, um, mind long ago. Thus would turds blossom in the womb of fundamentalism. Tony is now forcefully ejecting that ill-conceived monster, staining the foundational garb of conservatism.
Doug Watts said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:20
“We weren’t crazy enough !!!”
stryx said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:25
I hereby ban, prohibit, denounce, deplore, condemn, etc. etc., any further use of any sentence, phrase, metaphor, simile, allusion, etc., etc. which in any way causes me to think about Karl Rove injecting his seed into anything.
Karl Rove injected the seed of his
DO NOT WANT
Pere Ubu said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:29
I don’t care if the lamestream media is completely in the tank for the Democrats. So, what else is new (hello, uh Watergate)?
Cripes, I just noticed that from Crazy Pammy’s rant earlier.
So, um, if the press reports on the criminal activities of Republicans, they’re “in the tank for the Democrats”. Ah.
JK47 said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:31
It’s pretty hilarious watching the wingnutosphere rally around Sarah Palin. Shopping spree or no shopping spree, it was clear to about 60% of America that the woman is a total idiot. Poll after poll and endless anecdotal evidence has shown that she was a bigger drag on the ticket than even George W. Bush himself. Yet despite her idiocy– nay, BECAUSE of her idiocy, they’re making a martyr out of her.
What. The. Fuck. What is the appeal of this woman? Is it that she has a purty mouth? Is it the “pitbull with lipstick” thing? Is it the special needs baby? I really just cannot understand the appeal. This woman has brought them disgrace and has exposed their whole lame movement as a sham, but they STILL LOVE HER. These people are masochists.
Ripley said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:31
God hates Tony Perkins
ell said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:32
Log Cabin Republicans… Jews For Jesus… GOP For America…
Some real contradictions here.
God said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:34
I’s true. But don’t worry, I forgave Myself.
Jim Jenkins said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:35
I knew as soon as they threw us fags over for the Mexicans that they were doomed. Dooooomed!!!
stryx said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:36
lamestream media in the tank for dems.
That’s one way of looking at it.
Of course, in the real world you’d be wrong:
God said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:37
By the way, I’m not very fond of the Mormon Church either, right now
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:39
I knew as soon as they threw us fags over for the Mexicans that they were doomed.
Be thankful you weren’t a gay Mexican. Who knew Bill Ayers.
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:40
Yes, the GOP’s problem this election was that they weren’t crazy ENOUGH. You run with that, Perkins.
Compromising is the key to success at home and abroad. We must acknowledge the view points of others and understand that their ideas maybe different than ours
Seriously. I’m somewhat privy to city politics. Our last mayor was one of these “maverick” types who “didn’t compromise” and “did things her way” blah blah blah.
You know what she accomplished? Jack shit. Headline-grabbing news that meant nothing and hurt the local economy. If you’re working with other people, you HAVE TO COMPROMISE — checks & balances exist to FORCE compromise. Term limits are in place to RESTRICT a hegemony of ideology.
Now, we have a mayor who actually works WITH City Council. Lots gets done. Hmm!
Jaime Hussein Jenkins Dohrn said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:44
Be thankful you weren’t a gay Mexican. Who knew Bill Ayers.
?Aye carumba!
John said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:45
Wrong wrong wrong. The Republican party needs to move to the center. Drop the devisive social issues and stick to fiscally conservative values like eliminating waste and abuse of taxpayer monies and balancing the budget and drop the social agenda of evangelicals. We need to become the big-tent party of Reagan. Not the stubborn hate party of Bush and Rove and Palin. We need new fiscally conservative populist and yet progressive candidates, the Nixon/Rockefeller/Ford Republicans in order to restore our Grand Old Party to limited, but effective government not small, weak and ineffective governement. We can’t turn around the socialist movement of the democrats by continually chastising them. We have to lure them away with common sense and new ideas not fear and rejection. We need to be smarter not more polarizing.
Jim Jenkins said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:49
Heretic
biff diggerence said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:52
Phew.
Ronnie Raygun’s Corpse is really stinky by now.
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:55
John:
It would be nice if REAL fiscal conservatives showed themselves, but the Money in the party wouldn’t ever let them take power.
Darkness said,
November 7, 2008 at 19:59
“So whatever happened to this “self responsibility”
philosophyrhetoric of the right wing?”It’s only relevant when social programs are the topic. It can’t possibly apply to anyone with money in a leadership position.
Pere Ubu said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:01
the socialist movement of the democrats
yeah, have fun there in the hoary netherworld of your imagination, Chucko.
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:03
Drop the devisive social issues and stick to fiscally conservative values like eliminating waste and abuse of taxpayer monies and balancing the budget and drop the social agenda of evangelicals.
There goes the fundamentalists who do the actual work of campaigning and the money people. All you have left is the conservative intelligensia who haven’t already defected, such as dim-witted and brainwashed legacy pledge Jonah Goldberg.
Darkness said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:09
By the way, I’m not very fond of the Mormon Church either, right now
Our two main weapons are: pamplets, thick-soled shoes and surprisingly little understanding of church history on the part of our adherent. Our three main weapons are pamplets, a happy Armageddon, thick-soled. . . wait, I’ll come in again…
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:10
2012 Possible GOP Challengers:
Ted Nugent – Fred Phelps 2012
Jesus – Zombie Robert “John Birch” Welch Jr. 2012
Timecube 2012
Amy Alkon’s left testicle – Amy Alkon’s right testicle 2012
or how about another May-November romance ticket?
Pat Robertson – Marie Jon’ 2012
Jim Jenkins said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:11
John, I think you need to try reading Robert A. Heinlein’s masterpiece: Farnham’s Freehold or maybe Revelations.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:12
2012 Possible GOP Challengers:
Pastor Swank needs a gig.
ice weasel said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:13
One fourth of the great quartet of conservative minds that met yesterday and the only thing they came up with is more of that losing strategy? Excellent! I encourage them to pursue it. Isn’t about time to start whining and pissing themselves over the war on christmas? Let’s see this “personhood” campaign in full swing. Have at it conservatards!
Your own bigotry will be your further undoing.
Jim Jenkins said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:14
Swank – Juggs 2012?
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:19
We atheists get to sleep in on Sunday, have guilt-free premarital sex, and eat whatever we want. Top that.
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:20
Susan of Texas:
Um, that can’t be right. Republicans have been telling us for years that the Democratic Party is the one that’s just a loose confederation of conflicting ideologies, not them. And why would they lie?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:20
The debates would be awesome!
Hands up everybody who doesn’t believe in evolution. Okay now that your hands are raised, use them to strangle the heretics on stage with you!
Let’s “unpack” this theory of “move right to win”. Since Obama’s the most left-wing socialest Senator of all time – even if Al Franken wins Minnesota – clearly the candidate on the right (i.e. anybody else) lost. Moving further right wouldn’t get him any of the votes that Obama got, i.e. it’s not like die-hard right wingers voted Obama because JiSM3 was too liberal. Therefore, the only way a hypothetical candidate could win using this strategy is by convincing a huge chunk of the electorate, which sat out this election, to go and vote. IOW, pandering to shitbags that didn’t bother to vote (like McArdle). So Tony Perkins is really saying that the best way to influence the Republican Party and get them to represent more right wing views is if ultra conservatives stay at home on election day. I gotta say that he’s got himself some pretty sound logic, and I heartily endorse it. If you find yourself to the right of all the mainstream candidates running for office, the best thing you can do is to stay home.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:22
We atheists get to sleep in on Sunday, have guilt-free premarital sex, and eat whatever we want.
Cesium?
PeeJ said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:23
Sorry, stryx. I would have added Santorum to the mix but I forgot. Poop. Oh well, shit happens.
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:28
I do not want radioactive eggs and ham, I do want want them Sam-I-Am. I think some chemists have been inhaling a little too deeply.
Oh Cesium
(Tune, Oh Christmas tree)
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
Thy spectrum doth us please-ium.
Thy sky-blue lines in plasma’s fire,
Do dreams of icy lakes inspire.
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
Thy spectrum doth us please-ium.
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
When held, you never freeze-ium.
Thy gently smoking silver spheres,
When dropped in water, please the ears.
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
When held, you never freeze-ium.
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
You put us at our ease-ium.
You tend the seconds of the day,
So that our watches never stray
Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
You put us at our ease-ium.
—Songs of Cesium #34
Xecky Gilchrist said,
November 7, 2008 at 20:28
Hey, Bush was an enormous success. He did a great job of implementing Republican policies. As we knew from the start, they were terrible policies and now we’re stuck with the mess.
Fair enough. I will concede he was successful at implementing Redoublechin policy, such as it is; but at politics, he failed or we’d be stuck with that Permanent Republican Majority Rove is probably still crowing about. We are stuck with the mess, and it is a truly heinous shitpile, but that mess could have been so much worse.
Marlowe said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:01
Tony Perkins sharing his name with an actor who was A Gay is either cruel poetic justice or the explanation for his throbbing hate-on for Teh Gays. It’s like knowing your kid will grow up to be a white supremacist and naming him Don Cornelius.
bobbo said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:08
Shorter Tony Perkins:
I am not gay I am not gay I am not gay.
Brian said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:17
We have been life long Republicians but if Tony and his right wing conservatives gain more control of the Rebublician Party my wife and I will become Moderate Democrats. The right wing n— must realize the middle ground is the only area up for grabs during elections. If he/they want to go hard right, forget winning back any Federal elected positions. Brian
Anonymous said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:17
It’s true, you know. It was the moderates that caused McCain to lose the election, when they all voted for Obama.
DJR said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:23
Republicans will just have to ride it out for now. Like CNN report by Nash, Palin’s arrival in Alaska, the report was full of bull and hot air. Water off a duck. Palins great and any other comment is crap written by lowly individuals who don’t or can’t think. Sources said! Any sources said is just spin of a lying media which is gonna be busy with damage control in the months to come. They and their favored candidate will be held accountable. They believe that they will be able to say “sources said” or “the administration informed ” Nope this was the medias canidate of chose.The media stuck it’s neck waaaay out this time around. Fact if the administration holds true to its policies the media will be the first to be regulated. Facts only!! As Nixon ushered in Carter with the famous you won’t have me to kick around any more, so too will be the Republican Party which only has to believe that socialism does not work even when led by the media. Most important the Republican party will not be strong enough to blame. The Democrats either make it go big or it’s the end for them, possibly forever. 47% of the voting public got it. As a young 20 year old I too had to live thru the Carter days.Those days led to the Regan Era. That Era was so accomplished that we saw 15 years of prosperity before the beginning of this decline. The media was muzzled by the Regan administration. And most important of all with the media quieted the country gained. Republicans need only represent free enterprise and faith based policies, sit back and wait. The do nothing congress did that, sat back and they multiplied. Believe, the left is never right. Go Palin!!!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:28
Nope this was the medias canidate of chose.The media stuck it’s neck waaaay out this time around. Fact if the administration holds true to its policies the media will be the first to be regulated. Facts only!!
You realize Supreme Commandant Obama is going to have re-education camps for people who can’t punctuate, right?
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:35
Go Palin!!!
Too late, she’s already gone.
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:37
One fourth of the great quartet of conservative minds
Do they make a thimble that small?
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:38
We atheists get to sleep in on Sunday, have guilt-free premarital sex, and eat whatever we want. Top that.
Sex on the altar.
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:39
Those days led to the Regan Era. That Era was so accomplished that we saw 15 years of prosperity before the beginning of this decline.
Really? So the recession in ’92 that led to my dad’s layoff was in my imagination?
Scott said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:39
“In 2008, we ran an angry geezer and a crazy moose-hunter, but we didn’t go far enough right. In 2012, we ran the crazy moose-hunter and a plumber/country singer/professional bald man, but we didn’t go far enough right. In 2016, we ran a doughy giggler who touched himself and made high-pitched gawping noises whenever he saw a woman, and a street preacher who screamed “HOMONUPS NEVER!” over and over during his speeches, but we didn’t go far enough right. In 2020, we ran a clone of Adolf Hitler and a bucket of frozen embryos, but we didn’t go far enough right. In 2024…”
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:40
Republicans will just have to ride it out for now.
Actually, I think they’ll be bottoms, but nice thought.
actor212 said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:42
As a young 20 year old I too had to live thru the Carter days.Those days led to the Regan Era. That Era was so accomplished that we saw 15 years of prosperity before the beginning of this decline.
Oh really?
Tell that to the hundreds of millions of people who saw their pensions wiped out by Reagan. Tell that to the folks who lost their shirts in October 1987. Tell that to the millions and millions whose salaries couldn’t keep up with inflation.
Fuck up, son. Some of us were actually working real jobs while you were jerking off to Lydia Cornell on Too Close For Comfort, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmK, Sheila?
Jess said,
November 7, 2008 at 21:48
Maybe I’m just a dumb girl, but he feels like the traditional Republican stance is supposed to invade the personal lives of its constituents? Sounds pretty big government to me! But what do I know? Back to the kitchen and 10 kids for me!
Legalize said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:00
“We atheists get to sleep in on Sunday, have guilt-free premarital sex, and eat whatever we want. Top that.”
We also get to say “Jesus,” “God,” “Jesus Christ,” and “God fucking damn shit” as often as we like without fear of reprisal. That’s important vocabulary.
MzNicky said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:24
We atheists get to sleep in on Sunday, have guilt-free premarital sex, etc.
Plus we don’t believe in hell. Therefore we will never burn in it, unlike godbags, so they can eat it.
Concerned Citizen said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:25
The “Southern Strategy” is complete. The GOP is no longer your dad’s Republican Party (i.e., the party of the Northeast). It has successfully morphed into the old socially-conservative segregationist southern wing of the Democratic Party (a.k.a. the Dixiecrats) with the former Henry M. Jackson wing of the Democratic Party (a.k.a. the neoconservatives) thrown in for good measure.
MzNicky said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:25
And also, because we don’t have a God, we don’t have to worry about whose is bigger.
Jess said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:34
And I am so glad to be a “liberal infidel!” Thank GOD WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CC– when you look at it like that it’s like we’re all in drag now– which might make us more like Perkins than– eew– nevermind!
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:48
Well, thank God and sunny Jesus we’re not dishing out dusty stereotypes about religious people.
Smut Clyde said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:52
take your hand off the levers of power
It is time to tow the “levers of power” phrase out to sea, to be sunk by naval gunfire. Every time I hear or read it, it reminds me of those scenes in Eraserhead where Jack Fisk (as the Man in the Planet) is wrestling with huge railway-points levers.
Why are so many of the cliches of political discourse rooted in the language of early-20th-century transport technology? If it’s not the levers of power, we have to put up with trains turning corners and lights at the end of tunnels, throwing under busses, and who is leaving the sinking ship, even as others rearrange the deck-chairs on it.
I could also cope without hearing about “losing one’s moral compass”. It’s about time we entered the 21st century and started talking about “losing one’s moral GPS unit”.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:54
It is time to tow the “levers of power” phrase out to sea, to be sunk by naval gunfire.
The knobs of power?
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:55
You forget, we mostly used to be religious people. We didn’t grew up on Atheist Island, like secular Wonder Womans. So we are as familiar with religious people as everyone else.
It’s like losing weight. It doesn’t mean you hate heavy people, it just means you’re relieved to not be carrying around the extra weight anymore. You feel lighter and more free.
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 22:56
Or is it Wonder Womens?
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:01
Nothing mentioned here even vaguely resembles the religious people I know… or indeed, if major surveys are to be believed, most religious people in this country. We’re not all movie Catholics.
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:04
So I guess now would be a bad time to say that religion is the opiate of the masses?
Smut Clyde said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:05
Java applets of power.
Smut Clyde said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:06
Also, masses are the opium of religion.
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:06
Budda rocks?
Scientists are my homies?
The only good god is a dead god?
Susan of Texas said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:07
I meant to misspell Buddha.
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:09
Um. OK.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:10
WiiMotes of power.
tigrismus said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:11
The knobs of power?
That’s more like it, but are they also hands-off?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:19
WiiMotes of power.
Skipped right over joysticks of power.
MzNicky said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:19
Nothing mentioned here even vaguely resembles the religious people I know…
Taking a wild guess here: You weren’t born and raised in teh Bible Belt, were ya?
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:26
Taking a wild guess here: You weren’t born and raised in teh Bible Belt, were ya?
Born and raised in Dallas, Texas. Entire family’s from Birmingham, Alabama. Everyone not in my immediate family still lives there. In the two+ centuries both branches of my family have been in America, they’ve never gone north of Tennessee.
I know those people are out there—I know quite a few from those backgrounds/families—but these are some extremely broad stereotypes that’d embarrass a sitcom writer, and are not actually representative of the majority… and to tar every religious person with that same brush is simplistic as well as insulting.
Just thought I’d say so.
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:29
As an example: We seem to be equating “religion” with “born-again Christianity,” which not only leaves out the WIDE spectrum of Christianity outside that extreme, but also Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Wicca, etc, etc… most of them don’t have to get up early on Sunday morning, either.
Smut Clyde said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:39
I have tried swearing in the name of P. A. effing-M. Dirac, but somehow the emotional intensity is lacking.
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:43
You could swear in the name of John Galt. GALT-DAMN!
MzNicky said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:47
Ken Lowery: “Broad stereotypes” or not these are the religious personalities, with their intolerance and willful ignorance and haughty self-righteousness, that make the rules and shape the culture and always have in my neck o’ the woods, and they can collectively bite my butt. As far as equating fundamentalist/evangelical “Christian” assholes (and I find it hard to believe that as a Southerner you seem able to dismiss them so blithely), with assholes of any other religious stripe, I haven’t been around other sky-fairy worshippers enough to make that assessment. But it does seem as though disagreement over whose is the biggest and the bestest and the onliest tends to be one of humanity’s bigger follies, leading, as it so often seems to, to war and persecution and such as that.
alec said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:48
You win the Internets.
alec said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:52
Unfortunately, there’s something to his argument: leaving out the non-Christians, it can be said that most people who consider themselves Christian find evangelical social and scriptural dogma somewhere between inscrutable and repellant; attacking religion part and parcel leaves them alone in the room with the people who consider Darby’s apocalypse and Club For Growth / Birch Society dogma more canonical than the Holy Writ.
There’s a reason that ‘biblical literalism’ has come to refer exclusively to the Left Behind flavor of mysticist garbage. This has been especially infurating in my own family background, because it took my parents years to catch on to the fact that the weird, hateful social and political behavior of the various Evangelical churches they bounced around was the rule, not the exception.
Ken Lowery said,
November 7, 2008 at 23:59
I don’t dismiss anyone. I also don’t let assholes dominate my view of hundreds of millions of people who have nothing (and want nothing) to do with them.
http://religions.pewforum.org/comparisons — pretty informative, and certainly eye-opening. It paints a FAR more moderate view of religious people in this country, so much so that a hell of a lot of zealot-conservatives were PISSED about it, and insisted the methodology was flawed… much as Malkin and her ilk are insisting that the vote was “stolen” or that they just weren’t crazy-conservative ENOUGH.
And yeah, the dick-measuring game is pretty much the worst thing about humanity, but to suggest it only happens in religion (or that all religious people necessarily buy into it) is a massive fallacy. Again, see the survey: when asked if “many religions can lead to eternal life,” every single group save for the Mormons and the Jehovah’s Witnesses voted yes, usually by a wide majority.
Much as everyone here doesn’t like being painted with the “far-left Marxist/Socialist/boogeyman du jour” label because we think it would be swell if we stopped torturing people and persecuting GLBT folk, your average religious person doesn’t much like being compared to snake-handlers. This doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.
Ken Lowery said,
November 8, 2008 at 0:01
And Word Press ate my whole damn thing. Hopefully it shows up.
stogoe said,
November 8, 2008 at 0:08
WiiMotes of Power! I was saved by my WiiMotes of Power!!
Smut Clyde said,
November 8, 2008 at 0:17
I vote for RB’s “joysticks of power” (with “trackballs of power” coming in a close second).
Ken Lowery said,
November 8, 2008 at 0:32
Hopefully WP won’t eat THIS:
Fuck Darby.
Fuck Calvin.
Susan of Texas said,
November 8, 2008 at 0:35
You are afraid we think you’re stupid and weak. We don’t. We understand why you like your religion, but we don’t understand actually believing in myths. It is a choice that we would not make, but we don’t hate or despise other people for making a different choice.
Ken Lowery said,
November 8, 2008 at 0:38
No, I’m not afraid of anything… or particularly offended or upset. I’m also not here to convert anyone.
I know none of us like it when poorly-applied labels and stereotypes are thrown at us willy nilly, so I couldn’t let it go unanswered. Parity is a good thing.
Susan of Texas said,
November 8, 2008 at 0:40
Yes, it’s good to be reminded to be considerate. I wish I could actually do that. Maybe some day….
Ken Lowery said,
November 8, 2008 at 0:45
Well, you’re not alone there. Sadly, No is like a stress-test on my we-are-the-world tendencies, because I can be an evil little fucker.
Pere Ubu said,
November 8, 2008 at 1:16
Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Wicca, etc, etc… most of them don’t have to get up early on Sunday morning, either.
No, but we had to get up at 3:00 in the morning to release our curses against McCain, and that ain’t no cool groove neither, buddy.
MzNicky said,
November 8, 2008 at 1:23
And yeah, the dick-measuring game is pretty much the worst thing about humanity, but to suggest it only happens in religion (or that all religious people necessarily buy into it) is a massive fallacy.
I didn’t suggest that it did.
Some of my best friends are Episcopalian. I used to be one my own self. I know many actual Christians who walk the walk. Buddhism is a beautiful atheistic religion. Spirituality, compassion, and love for one’s fellow human being do not depend upon a belief in a supreme being. I have always lived in East Tennessee and have been surrounded my entire life by fucktarded snake-handling jackboxes who control the cultural and political zeitgeist of this corner of the world. That is my experience and perspective. Your results apparently vary. We’re all capable of being evil little fuckers.
alec said,
November 8, 2008 at 2:04
This is one of those cases that illustrate what has been my only single religious axiom of late – that being in the majority almost always turns any religion’s adherents into huge dicks. Even the religions we regard as relatively nice and inoffensive wind up doing hideous shit when they’re in power (c.f. the lamate state in Tibet, Pennsylvania’s treatment of the Indians, et goddamn cetera); there’s just something about presuming the prerogative to completely dominate a society that makes a fucking asshole out of you.
The converse, while not necessarily true, is pretty reliable. Even the religions we get used to being jackassry platforms do pretty decent work when they’re in the minority – evangelicals in Latin America would be the best example close to home, but the phenomenon is similarly powerful across historical and geographic lines.
Ken Lowery said,
November 8, 2008 at 2:10
Alec:
I read a pretty good book on the phenomenon you’re talking about, called Jesus & Empire — it’s basically a catalogue of when and where Christianity has been co-opted by the dominant paradigm to support that paradigm, whether or not the result makes any fucking sense whatsoever. The book is INCREDIBLY academic; a professor friend of mine said he was slow to get through it because he had to reread each graf. All the same, it’s a compelling read.
“Mainline” Christian churches tend to do a lot of good overseas work as well — the Baptists especially and the Methodists (my folk) as well. They are not as headline-grabby as FEMA domestically, and no one here gives a fuck about ongoing aid overseas.
Ken Lowery said,
November 8, 2008 at 2:14
Er, that is, no one gives a fuck about covering it — for instance, after Gustav wrecked Cuba, the various religious aid organizations were BEGGING the U.S. government to renew their license to give aid there… something the feds had failed to do two years previous, with no reason given. Aid could not even be given indirectly (like, say, giving to an organization in Canada who then gives it to Cuba). FINALLY, just this past week, the Feds relented.
This was a story about how the U.S.’s obsolete embargo on Cuba denied real aid and reconstruction for months to a nation less than a hundred miles off the coast of Florida, and I haven’t read that story fuckin’ anywhere except the religious press.
Arky 4 That 1 said,
November 8, 2008 at 3:37
Thank you so much for that mental image. My attorney will contact you shortly.
RobW said,
November 8, 2008 at 7:24
After Diebold, Sequoia, et al, I’m going with “touchscreens of power.”
Jeffrey Kramer said,
November 8, 2008 at 9:10
In 2012 the Republicans will put together a coalition of Alaska separatists, Confederate sympathizers, Montana Militiamen and Christian Dominionists, and rename themselves “The Real America Party.”
Gary Ruppert said,
November 8, 2008 at 15:04
Liberals are the true hypocrites.
The fact is, human flatus contains methane, which is a significant contributor to global warming. Homofecal intercourse weakens the anal sphincter, contributing to the release of greenhouse gases.
If liberals really cared about fighting global warming (instead of just bankrupting the coal industry), they would be celebrating Proposition 8 instead of fighting to have it overturned by activist judges.
Susan of Texas said,
November 8, 2008 at 16:51
Childbirth also does a number in this regard. Will you get rid of mothers too, Gary? Who will wash the streak out of your undies?
Susan of Texas said,
November 8, 2008 at 16:53
Also, connecting gays to global warming is a nice touch. Come over to the Light, Gary. Embrace your inner Democrat. It’ll beat embracing that tatty old “love doll” you treasure so.
nevrdull said,
November 8, 2008 at 17:17
is it just me, or is he wearing his flag pin with oakleaf clusters? if so, we should stop criticizing this man, for he must surely be a superior patriot.
Rusty Shackleford (not that one) said,
November 8, 2008 at 18:50
By first selecting moderates in the party primaries, then electing a moderate, America has rejected the moderate view.
Mike in Dallas said,
November 8, 2008 at 22:40
When the Republican party started generating more heat than light, which by my measure was in 1994, when garbage like Newt and Tom Delay were elected, that was the time I started voting against them!
francina said,
November 13, 2008 at 22:23
It is only a matter time Religion will lose its power. Just as the republicans lost their power. And the republicans never saw it coming that is what is so hilarious. Even racism thought it was still somehow going to come back to power when stupid sarah palin was stoking their embers of hatred. They were all in shock when the American people spoke, Palin takes the term airhead to a whole new level. I am so glad she is so stupid, she practically handed the election to the democrats. I sure hope the repuplicans put her in charge of their party. Life is so sweet.
francina said,
November 13, 2008 at 22:31
hey tony perkins everybody hates you nobody likes you. The only reason you have followers is because you threaten to label them with “SINNER”. It is only a matter of time before religion is seen as the lie that it is. And then where will you hide. And who will want to associate with the likes of you. And as much as you would like us to believe, the youth of today do not share your point of view. Only the old people, and when they die, no one will share your stupid point of view. You will then become a legend in your own mind.
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