Comments on: Nachos con carne de Pawlik

By: A Texan in Bavaria

A Texan in Bavaria — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 15:46:36 +0000

Hmmm… that reminds me of a friend’s attempt at Passover-kosher nachos – melt Pepper Jack on matzoh in the microwave, serve with canned salsa.

As we had just split a bottle of sherry, it tasted quite good.

I imagine most of the food on that page being appealing when on a good drunk.

By: Luke Francl

Luke Francl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 01:30:23 +0000

This reminds me of my friend’s recipie for “crotchos”: cracker nachos.

Take some saltine crackers. Top with velevta. Microwave. Crotchos!

Of course, I think he stopped making those in about 8th grade.

By: anthony

anthony — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:40:45 +0000

A person who could be proud of these… oh it’s just too fucking horrible.

By: will

will — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:51:57 +0000

Oh my god….this post and thread…I haven’t laughed so hard in weeks and weeks. The mental image of some wingnut frumpfrau gaily sprinkling powdered ranch mix on raw ground meat…I don’t know whether to laugh or projectile-vomit.

By: Socraticsilence

Socraticsilence — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:42:52 +0000

Most normal people realize that you mix the seasoning in post-browning (you strain the browned meat to drain the fat) as per the packaging, but hey I guess reading is hard.

By: nolo

nolo — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:41:34 +0000

The recipe page is sooo bad it looks like a bad parody. No one could possibly be serious with that.

By: RETARDO

RETARDO — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 10:45:18 +0000

A kid in my 8th grade careers class actually invented “Snotchos” as his product. Though funny in itself, it was an inside joke of sorts too: the teacher of that class always picked his nose.

Hmm, Gavin, is your real name Phillip?

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 10:03:50 +0000

Snotchos!
I’ve got to use that one the next time I hear a “Mexican” dish recipe with ranch dressing mix.

By: KathyF

KathyF — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 06:11:07 +0000

Finally, an explanation! Why Johnny Republican can’t think anymore: All those transfats have clogged up their brains!

It’s just a matter of time. Heart attacks will follow and we’ll all inherit what they haven’t killed off.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 06:00:01 +0000

“My taste-memory rebelled half way into the read-through; fuck, and they wonder why the heartland nation is so fucking disgustingly FAT!”

Speaking as a Wisconsinite who has lived all over the country… America’s obesity problem is hardly confined to one area. The disparities between the states pale in comparison to that between the U.S. and the rest of the world. Comparing the Midwest to the rest of the U.S. is like a hog calling a hippo fat.

Anyway, beyond the palatability of Amber’s concoction… how fucking lazy must you be to offer up a “recipe” made up of nearly all pre-packaged foods? This is like listing the ingredients for a PB&J sandwich.

By: Jack of None

Jack of None — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 02:58:07 +0000

From Amber’s ‘art’ site:
She lets herself submit to him, but only because he has earned her submission. If he behaved the slightest bit different, she would withdraw that submission.

I have seriously heard almost this exact same statement from practitioners of S&M. Like, seriously. Sometimes I think chicks become anti-feminist when they’re too closeted to just admit they like being spanked and get ON with their lives.

This Pawlik woman’s recipes simply confirm my suspicion that Ayn Rand fans are insane.

By: Thlayli

Thlayli — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 23:23:46 +0000

… when this brand first came out, it was called “Kitty Stew”, except then people were asking “Does this contain actual kitty meat?”, so they changed the label.

And that’s what “make it taste Mexican” made me think of.

I thought of the line that will probably be etched on Christina Ricci’s gravestone:

“Are they made with real Girl Scouts?”

By: Mal de mer

Mal de mer — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 22:39:41 +0000

I don’t see why not? Why shouldn’t it include Mayo? Amber’s no bigot.

Anyway, I love how she “blanches” the noodles for her “Stuffed Shells”. Hey, Amber…it’s called par-boiling.

By: Marq

Marq — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 16:40:05 +0000

I might have to skip this dish and go directly to the…you know, dessert item. Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh heh.
Ohmygawd. The dessert doesn’t involve… …mayo, does it?

By: glenstonecottage

glenstonecottage — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 16:26:17 +0000

Hey, Amber: what about the Kraft miniature marshmallows? They add that full-bodied texture that Nacho lovers adore.

And hey, Amber, I’m proud of you for finally joining the military! What division are you in, and when do you ship out for Iraq? Could we please see some pictures of you in uniform?

By: antid_oto

antid_oto — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 13:07:25 +0000

The one with the drill sergeant and the three-year-old is especially…

I believe the word you’re looking for is “hot.”

By: Gavin M.

Gavin M. — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 10:29:12 +0000

It’s like a museum of daddy-issues! The one with the drill sergeant and the three-year-old is especially…
Wait a minute – is she an objectivist just because of the erotic rape scenes in Rand’s books? Is that the key to everything? Only it doesn’t explain the cuisine….

One’s second thought is that Amber is going to check her site stats soon and see a giant mountain on the graph, then check referrers and see, sadlyno, sadlyno, sadlyno.

She should love us! We’re like the drill sergeant!

By: larkspur

larkspur — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 10:24:54 +0000

I am housesitting, with cats, and I just fed them their dinner, which includes canned food called “Kitty’s Stew”, which made me remember that when this brand first came out, it was called “Kitty Stew”, except then people were asking “Does this contain actual kitty meat?”, so they changed the label.

And that’s what “make it taste Mexican” made me think of.

I have an entire box of Weight Watcher recipe cards from the 1970s, and each recipe sounds Pawlikistic. Wanna buy ‘em?

By: g

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 09:46:49 +0000

Oh. My. God.

Have you guys read her treatise on Art?

http://www.amberpawlik.com/ArtWork.html

Unbelievable.

By: Gavin M.

Gavin M. — Sun, 05 Jun 2005 07:45:41 +0000

She claimed lately that she was ‘in the military,’ always in those exact words. But if you look at her columns on Jessica Lynch or on ‘why women shouldn’t be in the military,’ there’s no hint of it. Also no details as to which branch, or when she might have found time to do it.

It seems to suggest the same Objectivist grandiosity you’re talking about. And yeah, I’m also seeing some weird stuff on the recipe page that makes it seem as though she hasn’t made some of these dishes….