31
Hôtel de ville 2 minutes
Si c’est jeudi, c’est Meet the Press l’hôtel de ville 2 minutes:
Diana West: Obama’s economic policies are inherently Marxist.
John McCaslin: Wanna read a story about a carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee? Well, maybe next time.
Frank Pastore: I made some movies. Did you know that Obama’s economic policies are Marxist?
Ann Coulter: You know what the Ashley Todd case proves? That Keith Olbermann is a sac de douche.
Ross Mackenzie: Obama’s all about “vapid inky nebulosities” like “change” and “hope” and “yes we can” — so I’m gonna vote for McCain because he is, as he himself so eloquently put it, the “change we need.”
Debra J. Saunders: As a conservative, I believe that 100% of the population should pay income taxes.
Emmett Tyrrell: Obama claims that he offers a tax cut for “95 percent” of the citizenry which means sending government checks to some 40 percent of the citizenry who pay no taxes and raising taxes on the rest of us.
George Will: I have 2 points: One: True conservatives never lose elections. Two: Any amount of money inferior to what Americans spend on potato chips is inherently small.
Ken Blackwell: A vote for Obama is a vote for the Speaker of the Iranian Parliament.
Marjorie Dannenfelser: Hmm, delicious straw:
When she [Palin] is ridiculed for her decision to bring her son Trig, diagnosed with Down syndrome, into the world[.]
Thomas Sowell: Vote Obama and get ready to see nuclear bombs go off in New York and LA. I sure am glad I traded my kidneys for these DVDs of 24’s sixth season!
Larry Elder: As things stand, there is no redistribution of wealth in America.
Matt Towery: Buy my book.
Steve Chapman: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Terence Jeffrey: That bailout plan is nothing but a money-making scheme for the government.
Cal Thomas: Vote Obama and you’ll die. And be sure to buy my book: “Common Ground: How to Stop the Partisan War That is Destroying America”.
MzNicky said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:28
Ken Blackwell? I thought that bitchy “fashion arbiter” finally died.
Simba B said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:33
MzN, that would be 2006 Republican candidate for the Ohio gubernatorial race, who lost miserably. The Columbus Dispatch, a quite conservative paper (endorsed Walnuts), said that his margins were the worst for a Repub. candidate since 1913 or something like that.
And everybody pointed and laughed because nobody likes him.
He was also implicated in the 2004 election peculiarities, mostly because he was Secretary of State at the time and also Bush’s OH campaign chair.
tigrismus said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:33
Vote Obama and you’ll die. And be sure to buy my book: “Common Ground: How to Stop the Partisan War That is Destroying America”.
Cal Thomas is a steaming pile of AWESOME.
Simba B said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:34
Hmmm, little too obvious I’ve been reading Wonkette lately…
D.N. Nation said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:36
Wow, we haven’t had a ClownHall Sampler in a while.
As for Tom Sowell, check out this shitty interview America’s Shittiest Economist has at America’s Shittiest Website. Shorter Sowell: Obama’s only going to win because our schools suck. Also, he’s an elitist, unlike me.
Bonus for complete forced laughter from the interviewer when Sowell attempts to make a funny/not to crap his pants.
Justicio Fidelis said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:38
“Vote Obama and get ready to see nuclear bombs go off in New York and LA. I sure am glad I traded my kidneys for these DVDs of 24’s sixth season!”
Thomas Sowell - the douche just keeps getting out of the bag.
Rugged in Montana said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:39
George Will was the one who showed me how to use Agraria perfumed tassels to give my basement lair mystery and class. That and a Barcelona Day Bed.
Amy Alkon's Testicles said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:46
Hello? Remember me? All those links, and not one for ME?!?
Sadly Pathetic.
Batocchio said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:49
That Sowell piece is one of the stupidest columns I”ve ever read. Well, at least since the last Sowell column.
Teaflax said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:01
I love how Coulter’s column is all about proving how wrong Keith Olbermann is when he says that McCain andPalin are egging on their supporters into wanting Obama dead for being a traitor and anti-American and then pretty much every single one of the many, many comments her readers spew out below simply conform that he was right all along.
Cognitive dissonance, thy name is Republican.
comsympinko said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:02
I actually just spent a half hour clicking through every single link and…wow.
It’s like a clown car of stupid.
leGrampaw said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:08
He’s… a shower cap? You people and your strange foreign idioms, no wonder Real Americans can’t understand you.
Lesley said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:11
Any chance these twits will drink poison kool-aid the second they realize the terrorist has been elected? Jim Jones style.
I would so like them to stop talking forever.
Arky 4 That 1 said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:17
Ah Ken Blackwell. I recall he tried to make changes Ohio’s voting rules that would have resulted in a lot of people not being able to vote. And he did it really close to the election.
How’d that work out for him?
Oh, he’s writing for ClownHall. Guess that answers my question.
noen said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:18
We’re gonna need more badgers.
Rugged in Montana said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:18
I would so like them to stop talking forever.
Et tu, Leslie?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:21
Simba B said,
October 31, 2008 at 2:33
MzN, that would be 2006 Republican candidate for the Ohio gubernatorial race, who lost miserably. The Columbus Dispatch, a quite conservative paper (endorsed Walnuts), said that his margins were the worst for a Repub. candidate since 1913 or something like that.
As an occasional wonkette reader (first blog I ever commented on), AND a Columbus resident, I’ll just add that the Columbus
Dispatchbirdcage liner wouldn’t have said that if Ken Blackwell was a proper rethuglican.If you know what I mean, and I’m sure that you do.
Andre said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:23
My god, it’s full of stupid.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:24
Ah, Ann Coulter. She shreds your pompous liberal hypocrisy on a regular basis. Thanks for the link so I could re-read her.
Where is DrDick? What name is he posting under nowadays? I really wanted his expert opinion on Jena - too bad he ran away.
J— said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:25
The chair of the Hillsborough County (FL) Republican Party forwards to a big recipient list an email as part of the GOP GOTV effort. Members of his own party charge him with racism. Do I even need to mention the original text was done in all caps?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:26
Thanks for the link so I could re-read her.
Maybe you should try reading without moving your lips, booger.
mikey said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:26
Sssshhhh.
Think about this.
Timing. Pace and Rhythm.
We MIGHT just get out from under the bush/cheney administration without our country being utterly destroyed.
A year ago I never would have thought it.
But maybe. Just maybe. Given some good breaks and some restraint. Maybe we’ll make it to President Obama’s inauguration with our country and our economy intact and at peace.
Oh, I’m not gonna sell the G3, but maybe there’s a reason for some short-term hope…
mikey
Nimrod Gently said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:27
I’m so glad the titles are in the URLs. Those along with the shorters tell me all I need to know without even needing to soil my browser with their pages.
J— said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:28
Where’s Stossel?
comsympinko said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:32
From that bastion of Marxist-Leninist ooga-booga, the Economist:
“The Economist does not have a vote, but if it did, it would cast it for Mr Obama. We do so wholeheartedly: the Democratic candidate has clearly shown that he offers the better chance of restoring America’s self-confidence.”
Has the whole world gone red?
Nimrod Gently said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:32
Ann Coulter should be interviewed by Jeremy Paxman again. Every day. For three hundred years.
Loneoak said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:35
Do I even need to mention the original text was done in all caps?
Does anyone have a solid theory why conservatives love teh all caps? It seems to be a style reserved for wingnuts and PUMAs.
Orange Tom said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:36
The Economist does not have a vote, but if it did, it would cast it for Mr Obama.
Ok, now that scares me just a little…
jenniebee said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:38
I actually clicked through to Debra Saunders. It’s odd, I didn’t know that Townhall posted translations of Louis XVI’s council meetings, but there you have it. Learn something new every day.
Teaflax said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:39
Conf_i_rm. My fingers are so dyslexic…
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:42
If you guys don’t bring Teh Funny soon, I will be forced to tell a funny story.
pedestrian said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:44
John McCaslin: Wanna read a story about a carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee? Well, maybe next time.
Any mother who thinks that you make delicious coffee by boiling beans for 20 minutes may as well just surrender her parental responsibilities to the TV.
Anne Laurie said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:51
I would so like them to stop talking forever.
Note to Sadly’s official DHS reader: Lesley is a Canadian, so her statement constitutes a wish, not a terra-ristical threat.
I’m with Mikey, myself: As long as the Klownhall Krewe is out there babbling, at least we can keep track of them. It’s when the high-pitched whinging and flapping noises *stop* that I’ll start worrying they might actually have something dangerous in mind.
Andre said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:51
Here you go, a story about a guy giving beer to an ATM.
It has a picture.
D.N. Nation said,
October 31, 2008 at 3:54
So that’s what wingnuts call it. You were off on the can “re-reading” to Ann Coulter.
Confederate Yankee said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:00
Hey, Truth. Good to see you take it to the moonbats once again. Here’s something you might find bringing “the funny”: notomichelleobama.com
TE said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:02
The shorter on the Coulter piece could have been The fact that Ashley Todd’s claims were fake is just central to my point that there really are no racial tensions in America.
You often hear people suggest that Coulter is really a liberal, or is at least indifferent politically and just putting on an act. I think the suggestion is usually meant in jest, but the logic in that column is so flimsy, so tortured,and so improbable that I am left genuinely wondering if she is serious.
I guess the most likely explanation is that she sees the obvious flaws in her own reasoning, but believes a great many people will not and will be convinced, and that this will serve a greater good of some kind.
Brandi said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:08
Ah, Ann Coulter. She shreds your pompous liberal hypocrisy on a regular basis. Thanks for the link so I could masturbate frantically and obliterate my fear of your victory for just a few minutes.
Don’t know how you got such a major typo there.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:12
Hmm. Perhaps I spelled it wrong. I want Hte Funny or I’ll have to pick up the slack.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:15
She shreds your pompous liberal hypocrisy on a regular basis.
Ann who?
DrDick said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:25
Can’t we just haul all these assholes out behind the barn and make them eat all the bullshit they have been spewing for the last 20 years?
MzNicky said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:29
Ann who?
maybe this?
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:32
Ok, so here’s my funny story. It seems that a man…
Wait a minute. Is that DrDick?
DrDick, it’s so good to read you again. Wait - don’t run away…
Rats.
MzNicky said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:33
Can’t we just haul all these assholes out behind the barn and make them eat all the bullshit they have been spewing for the last 20 years?
DrDick: I’m beginning to believe that 11/04/08 will do just that. Hence the increased ugliness and hatred, which is, sadly, all they know.
Pere Ubu said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:34
Ann Coulter: You know what the Ashley Todd case proves? That Keith Olbermann is a sac de douche.
Glenn Beck had The Skank on today. Meeting of the minds, minus the minds.
DrDick said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:35
Sorry, Twoofy. This is the grown ups table. You have to sit at the children’s table with the rest of the kids from ClownHall, Redstake, and Little Green Nose Gold. I am sure they will find your fart jokes amusing and edifying. Maybe someday when you grown up you can sit with the grown ups. In the mean time, nobody really gives a shit about the addled maunderings of a retarded 8th grader.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:40
Sorry for my excitement, liberals. DrDick is my fish that got away story - a big, flopping idiot that I hooked but tried to pull in too quickly. I was so excited to have a genuine, mouth-breathing leftist professor on my line that I let him get away. He now spends most of his days now hiding at the bottom of the lake, muttering about how he’s going to shoot Republicans.
Good old DrDick. I’m glad to see you surface. Liberals, notice his typos as he trembles with rage and fear, trying to wish me away. Can we discuss Jena now or do you have too much work to do preparing for tomorrow’s class on “race and ethnicity”?
And no, as much as I belly laugh at him, it still doesn’t count as Hte Funny.
MzNicky said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:43
Truthless: I like pumpkin pie! Pie pie! Please smash it in my face!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:44
I am sure they will find your fart jokes amusing and edifying.
…waitaminit, which blog is this?
Oh, right, we do poop jokes here.
Still, Twoofie can tj;sb.
(that’s how the kids are abbreviating “tonguejack my shitbox” these days).
Pere Ubu said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:44
Emmett Tyrrell: Obama claims that he offers a tax cut for “95 percent” of the citizenry which means sending government checks to some 40 percent of the citizenry who pay no taxes and raising taxes on the rest of us.
But um… people who don’t file a return can’t benefit from tax cuts in the first place, and…
Aw, fuck it. You know that? I give up.
Let’s just exile them to an island like in “Brave New World”.
DrDick said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:46
So, MzNicky, what do you think is going to happen to the rightards like Pam and Twoofy on Tuesday when our new Islamofascistcommunisticatheistic black overlord ascends to the throne? I am personally hoping for several megatons of exploding cerebellum.
Teh "Truth" said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:49
I have nothing left, leftists! Nada! Does that stop me from coming to sites I ostensibly despise to try to resurrect political clashes that occurred only in my own self-involved and useless mind and about which no one else has a clue, nor could even begin to care, simply to pathetically try to attract the attention for which I am so starved? Why no, no it doesn’t! Because the writing’s on the wall, the criminals of the recent unfortunate past are finally done for, and I so despise myself and am so out of anything that approaches political currency that I can’t find any other site to go to, nor any issue of substance with which to try to engage my betters! What a useless, pointless existence mine is! I should just fuck off already.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:51
You know what is teh funny?
President Obama will be able to use those “wonderful” domestic wiretapping powers that republicans were so enthusiastic about to round up republican domestic terrorists!
There will be no shortage of those pesky republican domestic terrorists, just like the militias and McVeighs of the 90’s.
Finally we can get all those republicans put in jail who hate America so much. If any of the republican trolls here are getting nervous about their prospects, remember one thing:
“If you aren’t guilty you have nothing to worry about”
Pere Ubu said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:51
I am personally hoping for several megatons of exploding cerebellum.
I personally plan to orchestrate a version of the 1812 Overture punctuated by wingnut head explosions.
Just watch out for shrapnel.
MzNicky said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:51
DrDick: I don’t know, but I can’t wait to find out. This weekend’s going to be like a three-day Christmas Eve.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:53
Oh DrDick, just recycling someone else’s comments doesn’t count as Teh Funny. Looks like you are going to hide from me again. Are you serious that your profession is something intellectual? Sigh - back to the bottom of the lake you swim.
OK, here is the funny story I promised. I hope you liberals enjoy this one.
Seems a man walks past a homeless person on his way into a restaurant. His waiter is wearing an Obama button, and after he finishes lunch, he asks the waiter if he supports Obama’s wealth redistribution ideas. The waiter says yes, so the man tells him he is taking his tip and giving it to the homeless man. It seems the waiter didn’t appreciate the redistribution of money from those who earn it to those who need it.
This story is from a letter to the editor in Obama’s hometown newspaper. I thought it was hilarious.
MzNicky said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:59
Truthless: Wait — Whose waiter is wearing the Obama button, the man or the homeless man? The homeless man is waited on? But the man who walks past the homeless man waits on the waiter? Or what? Sorry, your unclear antecedents ruin the whole thing. You’re stupid, aren’t ya?
Pere Ubu said,
October 31, 2008 at 4:59
It seems the waiter didn’t appreciate the redistribution of money from those who earn it to those who need it.
…And that homeless man grew up to be… Charles Foster Kane.
And now you know… The Rest Of The Story!
DrDick said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:02
MzNicky - Twoofy just proves that John Stuart Mill was far too generous.
Smut Clyde said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:03
1812 Overture?
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:03
MzNicky,
The kicker is that the guy ate pie.
Smut Clyde said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:03
1812 Overture?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:04
Reminds me of a famous quote:
“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy, that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.” - John K. Galbraith
Other quotes I like:
“Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence; Conservatism is distrust of the people, tempered by fear.” - Wm. Gladstone
“Not all conservatives are stupid people, but all stupid people are conservatives.” - John Stuart Mills
“A Conservative is a patriot who is prepared to lay down your life for his country.” - anon
DrDick said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:07
Well, at least now Twoofy will understand the refrence.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:08
I personally plan to orchestrate a version of the 1812 Overture punctuated by wingnut head explosions.
That should be interesting - loud, majestic orchestra music interspersed with flabby wet-fart sounds.
I just have a hard time imagining that a wingnut head explosion being very loud.
mikey said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:10
You’re stupid, aren’t ya?
Hee hee.
This is fun.
We’re like the winning team with one out left to get and a ten run lead.
Loose, and laughing, waiting for that tuesday evening ground ball that ends the argument for quite a while.
What was that line I remember?
Oh yeah.
“Elections have Consequences”.
Hee hee….
mikey
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:14
“Elections have Consequences”.
Wait, I got one, I got one -
“Why don’t you try winning a few elections?”
BAAAAAA hahahahaha!
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:15
This just in, liberals:
A group of white thugs jumped a black high school student. They beat the high schooler half to death, and are charged with felony assault. In their defense, the white thugs testify that a different black student was placing intimidating anti-white symbols around the high school.
Civil rights groups staged a massive rally for the white students and got their sentences reduced or thrown out. “It is OK to beat innocent black people half to death,” said the Reverend Doctor Sharpton Vandross Jackson, “as long as some other black people offended whites. All black people were fair game for these white thugs.”
I’m still waiting for Professor Realsmart to explain this to me. Or for someone to say something funny besides me.
Fluffybunnyfeet said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:17
” Vote Obama and you’ll die.”
No, no, the exact quote is: “Vote Obama - and now, young Skywalker… You *Will* Die.”
The ZZZZZZZZTT!! is optional…
Righteous Bubba said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:18
Or for someone to say something funny besides me.
You may not have cottoned on, but many people say something funny beside you.
mikey said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:18
Five funny little words for you:
President Barack Unitary Executive Obama.
Are you feeling me yet?
mikey
DrDick said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:20
Or for someone to say something funny besides me.
We’re still waiting for you to say something funny. Or even intelligible.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:20
President Barack Unitary Executive Obama.
But his friends just call him “Extraordinary Rendition”.
El Cid said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:21
The Daily Show’s John Oliver just put the smackdown on the ugly, pale, fat right wing typical ‘think tank’ f*** who mocks “community organizing” and alleges that ACORN is destroying the country. Ugly sh*t literally says that “community organizing” leads to crack cocaine dealing.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:22
DrDick, just read my post up a few from yours. Read it slowly, and explain it to me.
Or are you too afraid it will expose your hypocrisy?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:24
I’ll call your Strawman and raise you 1 million displaced and dead Iraqis.
A Different Jake H. said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:26
Ok, I just read Wikipedia on the “Jena Six“, and all I have to say is, high school students can be dumb, meanspirited, and violent, especially when they are given excuses to hate on each other based on the racial tensions and stupid prejudices of the adults in the community. I don’t think anyone is contending that six black students didn’t beat up the (white) victim. But it’s pretty apparent that there’s more to the story than some random, Clockwork Orange style “ultraviolence” committed by “thugs”, as you called them, especially since the victim was released from the emergency room the same day. If they patch you up and send you on your way, you didn’t just get beat “half to death.”
Also, Mr. The Truth, the way you’re carrying on about this story leads me to suspect you have some perhaps sexual tensions tied up with the whole interracial beating scene that leads you to want to keep talking about it. Go re-read Ann Coulter some more.
mikey said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:28
How ’bout this one?
Joe “undisclosed location” Biden.
How would you like Obama’s legal team to, oh, I dunno, maybe come up with legal justifications for wealth confiscation and then refuse to make them public?
Or maybe VP Biden could hold meetings, see, [hee hee] and then refuse to release the names of the attendees, despite the fact that they formulated administration policy. That’d be just fine, right? Hey, nobody complained before…
mikey
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:30
Jake, I am asking DrDick about Jena because he is the pompous ass who was going to explain why my interpretation of Jena was wrong. (You didn’t explain it either, by the way)
DrDick, we’re waiting.
DrDick said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:33
Twoofy - You are an arrogant asshole and nobody is waiting except you. I already explained it to you, but you are too stupid and bigoted to understand it. I have better things to do than try to reason with willfully ignorant racists. Now kindly go away and fuck yourself. You are proving nothing except that you are an annoying little twit.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:35
That’d be just fine, right? Hey, nobody complained before…
Yeah, yeah! And then, Biden could shoot some poor bastard in the face, wait half an hour to call the police, and make the victim apologize publically for it!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:36
And Obama could just ignore anything he doesn’t like coming out of Congress, scribbling little notes on the laws about which ones he doesn’t feel like obeying!
We got a million of ‘em!
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:37
DrDick, give me the link to where you explained it to me.
Oh, dear Lord, this is funny. You are sweating because some “ignorant twit” has called you on your hypocrisy, and you are the professor.
See, this isn’t your college campus, where students are forced to kowtow to you. Here, surrounded as you are by your friends, you still can’t make your case.
Don’t flop off the hook, explain it to me and to us all. If it’s so easy, go for it. Tell me why this is OK:
\A group of white thugs jumped a black high school student. They beat the high schooler half to death, and are charged with felony assault. In their defense, the white thugs testify that a different black student was placing intimidating anti-white symbols around the high school.
Civil rights groups staged a massive rally for the white students and got their sentences reduced or thrown out. “It is OK to beat innocent black people half to death,” said the Reverend Doctor Sharpton Vandross Jackson, “as long as some other black people offended whites. All black people were fair game for these white thugs.”
handy said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:37
Umm…duh, no it WOULDN’T be just fine, thank you very much! Because unlike Bush, Obama towels around with parasites.
I didn’t quite catch the full details of my talking points, but it was something like that.
Matt T. said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:55
TE,
You’re assuming the Ann Coulter has ever written anything that wasn’t total horseshit. She’s the Howard Stern of Conservativism, but unlike Stern - who’s just a tedious bore now that the “shock” has worn off - Coulter’s preaching hate and anger. If she’s just doing it for the bucks, I honestly don’t see how that doesn’t make her even more contemptible than she already is.
Hoosier X said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:55
I’m having trouble keeping up again …
Which Republican candidate was falsely implicated in the Jena 6 incidents again?
And, also, which Democratic candidate helped to spread the word on something that was completey staged?
Answer these questions and maybe I can figure out what your point is.
Thanks in advance!
The Rest said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:03
I seem to recall an NPR reporter at the time saying that the white kid “beaten half to death” went to a party that same night or the night after. Hmm, he must have seen that white light and decided he just had to turn around and struggle back for one last beer bong, unlike those fake Americans in Texas, forcibly dragged toward that white light for their own good.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:05
Matt, I think Howard still has his moments. Did you hear the interview he sent Sal to conduct in Harlem? He asks the registered voters up there what they think of Obama - only he describes McCain’s policies. The Harlem voters are apparently all for war in Iraq, the abolition of abortion, and the election of Sarah Palin as VP - as long as they think that is Wise Master Obama’s position.
Hoosier X, I think you are selling DrDick short. He is a Professor at a University, specializing in ethic and racial issues. I am confident he is going to explain why my interpretation of Jena - which, short form, is that liberals are total hypocrites and that civil rights leaders are lying con men - is wrong.
Surely he wouldn’t run away and hide again? He is endlessly amusing as he desperately hopes that insulting me will make his evident hypocrisy and intellectual cowardice go away.
El Cid said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:09
Here’s the text of that e-mail from the Chairman of the Hillsborough County, Florida (Tampa) Republican Party HQ, linked above by J–. Chairman Storck has since then denied actually reading the e-mail he sent around, it was all a big mix-up, you see, I mean…
Mr. Storck went on to proclaim “Free the Jena Six and, um, that Mummiba or whatever guy too!”
g said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:09
Liberals, notice his typos as he trembles with rage and fear, trying to wish me away.
Um, I’m not noticing that. What I’m noticing is the EPIC FAIL on the Right Wing side.
and the increasing irrelevance of Da Twooth.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:10
Jeez, booger/tooth.
What’s “Jena 6″ got to do with anything, besides racist right wing scumbags desperately playing “we’re the real victims!!!one1!” card?
Enjoy your life of dogshittery, dirtbag.
Matt T. said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:10
I’m sorry, but am I wearing a sign that says “I care what racist jackasses say” around my neck?
g said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:12
THE COLLEGE PROFESSORS, PARTICULARLY IN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES, FOR THE MOST PART HAVE LITTLE OR NO EXPERIENCE IN THE WORK-A-DAY WORLD.
Ah, but they have learned how to operate that key labelled “Shift” on their keyboards.
Perhaps because they’ve gone beyond the “hunt and peck” method.
g said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:15
Who put the dexies in Twoofty’s Ovaltine tonight?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:19
g said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:15
Who put the dexies in Twoofty’s Ovaltine tonight?
Liebeeral biased pollisies, no doubt.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:28
You liberals are making this so easy! All one has to do is switch around the races in the Jena 6 scenario and the whole thing is indefensible. Your hypocrisy is exposed and so far no one, not even a bonafide grade A Professor in racial and ethnic studies can handle it. All they can do is squirm and shriek insults - too damn funny!
And where is the good professor? He’s trembling at the bottom of the lake, vowing never to surface and get hooked again. Well, it was fun having that big, pompous fish dangle on my line - we can do it again or he can stand exposed as a hypocrite. Either way I’m laughing.
By the way, you liberals want the link to that Stern interview, let me know. It’s hilarious!
g said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:34
Umm, Twoofy, I think the professor just had better things to do. You were getting boring.
But carry on, you seem to be amusing yourself no end.
handy said,
October 31, 2008 at 6:35
Did somebody just say something? I coulda swore I heard a noise that sounded like rational human speech but maybe it was just my imagination.
A dim-witted badger said,
October 31, 2008 at 7:12
Fucking pelicans.
Jennifer said,
October 31, 2008 at 7:20
um…just a word on this bullshit about how “40% of Americans pay no taxes.” Which is, as noted, bullshit. And not just because of FICA taxes. Basically, “40% of Americans” who earn income = people making around $35K or less per year. I made that amount for a number of years, and always paid income tax. ALWAYS. Income tax for a single worker with no dependents who makes $35K a year comes to some $5,000. You have to get down to somewhere under about $15K per year before you pay NO income tax. And we do not have 40% of workers making under $15K. Now, even if they’re talking about people who offset their income tax liability by claiming several dependents, you still aren’t going to find any of them making over $25 or $30K per year who are paying NO income tax. Then again, we always knew that wingers suck at math (just like they suck at logic, honesty, decency, etc.)
How come when we’re talking about giving billionaires a tax cut worth millions per year it’s “letting them keep THEIR MONEY” but when we’re talking about giving someone making $35K a year a tax cut it’s “SOCIALISM!!1!eleventy1!!” and not “their money”?
protected static said,
October 31, 2008 at 7:21
mikey:
I’ll see you your President Barack Unitary Executive Obama and raise you a couple hundred signing statements…
El Cid said,
October 31, 2008 at 7:28
I heartily encourage conservatives to keep harping on how the white folk are kept down and how civil rights leaders are all morons and hypocrites. I want you to keep doing that until you have 6 Republican members of Congress left, sprinkled lightly throughout the Deep South. I heartily encourage you.
Twinky Winky Pony Palin said,
October 31, 2008 at 7:34
And just when you thought it couldn’t possibly get any crazier, it does!
“Ladies and Gentlemen,… If Barack Hussein Obama II, or Barry Soetoro if you prefer his other Legal Name, is Ineligible to hold the Office of President of the United States he can never preside over any Administration. In Legal terms therefore, should he gain Election by the Electoral College and then proceed to Inauguration there would be no Legitimate Federal Government … At that point the United States of America would, in effect, cease to exist among the Community of Nations. Unlike 1861 the Union would not be broken, it would be utterly dissolved upon the Winds of Time, as if it had never been.”
http://texasdarlin.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/one-nation-divisible-under-obama-not-indivisible-under-god/
purvis ames said,
October 31, 2008 at 7:36
First the inmates took over the asylum and destroyed everything. Now they’re being herded back in and they don’t like it a bit.
El Cid said,
October 31, 2008 at 7:49
It was very clever of Sarah Palin today to give her “Drill Baby Drill!” speech about getting and using more U.S. oil today while she was visiting the Xunlight solar cell production company plant. Strangely, enthusiasm wavered among the crowd.
Lucky Gerenuk said,
October 31, 2008 at 8:01
All one has to do is switch around the races in the Jena 6 scenario and the whole thing is indefensible.
While we’re switching things around, let’s make the whole thing take place in Antarctica instead of Louisiana. And instead of the Jena Six, let’s make it the Dave Clark Five. And let’s change the assaults and racial tensions into a balloon race and a midlife crisis brought on by erectile dysfunction. And the mayor of the town is no longer Jena’s Murphy R. McMillan, but is now H.R. Pufnstuf. And let’s make it all take place in the year 2176.
Now the whole thing is really indefensible.
stackozone said,
October 31, 2008 at 8:10
OK, lemme play this “rearrangement” game:
You’re RIGHT! Day is night!! Dogs ARE CATS!!! My EYES!!!!
it’s all so… clear now…
Doctorb said,
October 31, 2008 at 8:33
I kind of feel like the sort of person who would come up with that story is a pretty lousy tipper anyway.
Johnny Pez said,
October 31, 2008 at 8:56
Ah, if only Obama’s upcoming victory would literally make their heads explode. That would be awesome squared.
Johnny Pez said,
October 31, 2008 at 9:01
If he’s a Republican, he probably leaves those fundy tracts that look like dollar bills on the outside.
justme said,
October 31, 2008 at 9:07
I think “Suck it,
libscons.” is going to get a lot of play as well.Max Renn said,
October 31, 2008 at 9:09
#
Matt T. said,
October 31, 2008 at 5:55
TE,
You’re assuming the Ann Coulter has ever written anything that wasn’t total horseshit. She’s the Howard Stern of Conservativism, but unlike Stern - who’s just a tedious bore now that the “shock” has worn off - Coulter’s preaching hate and anger. If she’s just doing it for the bucks, I honestly don’t see how that doesn’t make her even more contemptible than she already is.
Nah, she’s the real deal. A true Connecticut Bircher princess. Her dad was a major union-busting thug lawyer, a really bad guy, and she was daddy’s girl all the way. The thing I regret most is that the ‘Clinton Elves’ of which she was one in the run up to impeachment, no doubt did some pretty illegal things. I wish that some investigative journalist had been a lot more interested in Clinton’s enemies than his penis, because Coulter might have been busted then. Sigh.
Lesley said,
October 31, 2008 at 9:51
Meet Canada’s new health minister: a rookie, who is the spitting image (neocon wise) of Sarah Palin.
As the provincial health minister, Ms. Aglukkaq was constantly under fire because of problems related to an under-funded health-care system in a territory that does not have a particularly healthy population.
Great, and Harper picks this asshole to manage Canada’s health care.
Lesley said,
October 31, 2008 at 10:05
Valerie, a 26-year-old female African elephant, picks Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama’s picture over Republican John McCain at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in Vallejo, Calif.
Because elephants are smart.
(Six Flags is a hell hole and Valerie should be in a sanctuary.)
Eric (an halibut) said,
October 31, 2008 at 10:30
Lucky Gerenuk:
…And instead of the Jena Six, let’s make it the Dave Clark Five…And the mayor of the town is no longer Jena’s Murphy R. McMillan, but is now H.R. Pufnstuf.
Well played, Lucky. You’ve just made my day. And it’s only 2:30 in the morning here.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 31, 2008 at 13:24
Even Mother Nature is being mean to the rethugs
Turnabout is fair play and all.
Most of the country will enjoy nice weather on Election Day. Conventional wisdom says that nice weather on Election Day can spell victory for the Democrats, while bad weather favors Republicans.
In other words, rethugs do better when people can’t, or won’t vote.
WereBear said,
October 31, 2008 at 13:36
Valerie should be in a sanctuary!
Where all the elephants get together and choose our elected leaders by their pictures.
We might get better results that way.
But then the wingnuts would stalk the elephants…
Hmmm. Upside. Because I think the elephants, ummoved by essays in tortured logic, would just chase them into trees.
Bony Baloney said,
October 31, 2008 at 13:49
Trustafarian @ Agonist.org: Remember when our front page WAS news, and you had to click deep inside to get first-person self-abuse about how foreign countries have a different word for EVERYTHING? Me neither. Thailand is so totally not at all like Long Island! Oh, and global markets are crashing, depending on your point of view, blah blah, I’m bored already. Ooh, but!, look at this picture of an elephant-god idol. My foreign girlfriend is right: it really puts the whole thing in perspective, doesn’t it? Did you know non-American peasants have an entirely different take on American politics, to what Joe the Plumber has? My skull is bursting with unsuspected insights!
Indiana McOhio said,
October 31, 2008 at 14:44
why is “The Tr-oaf” trying to derail conversation with ranting about a bunch of teenagers in a small town? what does that have to do with anything?
Indiana McOhio said,
October 31, 2008 at 14:53
I’ve got a story too.
Seems a man walks past a homeless person on his way into a restaurant. His waiter is wearing an Obama button, and after he finishes lunch, he asks the waiter if he supports Obama’s wealth redistribution ideas. The waiter says yes, so the man tells him he is taking his tip and giving it to the homeless man. But in actuality, the man is a republican jerk and he puts the tip money back in his own pocket. The waiter, being democratic, isn’t angry at the homeless man, he’s angry because he knows the republican is a lying shit and is just stiffing him.
Here’s another story.
This happens to the waiter again and again. Being stiffed by lying shitbag republicans who wilfully misinterpret the results of reality of their shitbag actions. The waiter and the homeless man vote for Obama.
pedestrian said,
October 31, 2008 at 14:54
Valerie, a 26-year-old female African elephant, picks Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama’s picture over Republican John McCain at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in Vallejo, Calif.
A twenty-something African female picked Obama? You’ll pardon my French, but quelle fucking surprise.
N.C. said,
October 31, 2008 at 14:54
Mostly I’m just trying to figure out what an “anti-white” symbol would be.
An effigy of Dale Earnhardt? A knocked-over box of granola? “OFAY” spelled out in saltines?
El Cid said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:05
What’s funny is that each week, that non-tipping Republican sh*t-bag comes up with a new morality tale explaining why he didn’t tip that particular week. Also, he has to keep going to different restaurants because he knows that the waiters in the previous ones all hate his stupid a** and probably put sh*t in his food.
pedestrian said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:16
This happens to the waiter again and again. Being stiffed by lying shitbag republicans who wilfully misinterpret the results of reality of their shitbag actions. The waiter and the homeless man vote for Obama.
Unfortunately for both of them, the Secretary of State is a Republican. The homeless man’s name is flagged and purged from the voter rolls because his address is no longer current. The waiter shares his name with a convicted felon, and is also purged. He is lucky enough to have the notice mailed to him in time for an appeal, but unlucky enough to live in a majority black neighborhood where he has to wait 8 hours at the polls. He finally steps into the booth…
for a Diebold machine, turn to page 36
for a butterfly ballot, turn to page 50
tigrismus said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:20
THE COLLEGE PROFESSORS, PARTICULARLY IN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES, FOR THE MOST PART HAVE LITTLE OR NO EXPERIENCE IN THE WORK-A-DAY WORLD.
Signed, David A. Storck, paid party flack.
At that point the United States of America would, in effect, cease to exist among the Community of Nations. Unlike 1861 the Union would not be broken, it would be utterly dissolved upon the Winds of Time, as if it had never been.
He’s not only an Islamohomomarxist, he’s also A WARLOCK AND MASTER OF SPACE AND TIME!!!
Legalize said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:23
Right off the back, Sowell brings out the win:
ALBERT
Location: CA
Date: Oct 31, 2008 - 1:42 AM EST A PERFECT STORM
IF PEOPLE THINK THAT THE CURRENT ECONOMIC SITUATION IS BAD, IT WILL BE A THOUSAND TIMES
WORSE IF WE ARE ATTACK WITH ANYKIND OF NUKE.
kiki said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:34
Actual ending to Truth’s story - the man comes back into the restaurant the next day. The waiter points him out to the other waiters, and they all jack off into his soup.
(Apparently, Death Wish director and renowned asshole Michael Winner is so used to the unwitting taste of waiter jizz that he once sent back a bowl of soup that hadn’t been jacked off into, on the grounds that it ‘didn’t taste right’. I like to think the same thing has happened to Mr Apocryphal Republican Douchebag. Or Truth himself, of course.)
Sporkey said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:42
pedestrian -
That was awesome. It made me laugh really hard.
Gary Ruppert said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:52
The fact is, shut up. :-/
comsympinko said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:56
Hilarity:
“Appearing once again on The Daily Show, Bill Kristol, Jon Stewart’s favorite whipping boy (”Bill Kristol, aren’t you ever right?”), tonight defended the McCain-Palin ticket, at one point informing the show’s host that he was getting his news from suspect sources. “You’re reading The New York Times too much,” he declared.
“But you work for The New York Times,” Stewart pointed out.”
Bill Kristol roooooooooooooolz eht stooooooooooooooopid.
comsympinko said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:58
“Mostly I’m just trying to figure out what an “anti-white” symbol would be.”
A Black Power fist smashing a loaf of Wonder bread?
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 15:59
Good morning, liberals. I’m glad you enjoyed my funny story. It was published as a letter to the editor in a large newspaper in Obama’s hometown. You all missed the point but that’s OK - at least I brought Hte Funny and gave you a chance to do your own.
Indiana McO, the point of the Jena story is that it points out the hypocrisy of liberals in a big way. DrDick, the pompous and oh-so-smart University Professor, harumphed at me when I questioned the leftist dogma. But we’re not on campus and DrDick can’t hope to win arguments by just intimidating me into kowtowing to the liberal line. After that he’s alternatively snarled and thrown weak insults my way, desperately hoping the issue will go away. All in all it’s been great fun - everyone I’ve shown this too has laughed their asses off.
So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?
pedestrian said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:06
So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?
Look, I’m sure that some of the more liberal yuppies will be depressed, but I think that your mass suicide fears are overblown.
actor212 said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:15
Shorter Sadly, No! Round Up:
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
(standard Shorter disclaimer here, I am aware of all Internet traditions)
D.N. Nation said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:15
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Dumb libs think they’ve got this election in the bag, but once people remember Jena and, um, Robert Byrd and Ted Kennedy and somethin’, it’s clear sailing for Comeback Mac!
My give-a-crap-o-meter is running pretty low on this one, dingus, so as long as you want to waste your time going bonkers over some stupid racial issue from two years ago, keep right on trucking. I’ll call you from Obama’s victory party.
D.N. Nation said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:18
Nope, not a racist at all, whatsoever. Some of your best friends are…well, we’ve heard it before.
Have a look, cool guy. You’re putting all your chips on the roulette ball landing on double zero. Good luck with that. Your cribbing of the Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot’s We’re winning! We’re winning! was delightfully annoying back when Palinmania was a viable political force. Now it’s just sad. Don’t make me sad.
D.N. Nation said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:21
And I would politely ask why exactly you’re so sure that McPalin is going to win, but the reasons you’ve given before (the now-discredited Bradley Effect, the fact that Michelle Obama humina humina humina) are so dimwitted that it’s not worth hearing you expound upon them. Truly, you think McCain is going to win because you’re a delusional crybaby with serious bitter backwater to overcome. Just as Ace Of Spades/the Glennbot/others shouldn’t be allowed to work out frustrations over their manlihood on our time, you should get your shit together in private. You’re stinking up the joint.
El Cid said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:22
I gleefully, enthusiastically, beamingly encourage Republicans to keep making this election about Al Sharpton and Socialism and Bill Ayers and Rashid Khalidi.
But then, I feed on Republicans’ tears, I am nourished by their pain of their massive, deforming, crushing upcoming loss, I am become Defeat, Destroyer of Reaganism.
Simba B said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:31
the now-discredited Bradley Effect
Where was this discredited? Cuz, this is a real worry I have, and if someone’s conclusively discredited this I’d love to see it.
Ken END IS NIGH Lowery said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:33
OT:
We had a minor earthquake just outside Dallas this morning. In case you’re not aware, that does not happen here.
I give it ~6 hours before some wingnut says this is a “sign” about our upcoming Negropocalypse.
chocolatepie said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:35
This happens to the waiter again and again. Being stiffed by lying shitbag republicans who wilfully misinterpret the results of reality of their shitbag actions. The waiter and the homeless man vote for Obama.
The homeless man then proceeded to walk down the street and was shot in the leg by a cop who mistook the dollar tip for a knife.
D.N. Nation said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:37
Nate Silver over at 538 has made a bunch of posts debunking the effect. I’d start here, then snoop around.
Basically, racists won’t vote for Obama. But they’ve already told us that. Those that straight-up won’t but refuse to admit it to pollsters are few and far between; saying that McCain can win because of the Bradley Effect is like saying the Pittsburgh Pirates will win the World Series next year because they’re scrappy. It’s unsupported wishful thinking, nothing more.
Indiana McOhio said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:40
Tr-oaf: you misintrerpret reality again. no one here, including DrDick, is advocating teenagers beating each other up. no one here says terrible racial anger is good for any of those teenagers. you are the only person reveling in a small town’s tragedy, and that’s because you are a piece of shit.
Ken END IS NIGH Lowery said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:42
Indiana:
A piece of shit who, several threads ago, equated white people with “real Americans.”
Drop him. He ain’t worth your time.
El Cid said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:42
Simba B: The Bradley Effect was discredited in the actual original Bradley election, and by many statisticians and pollsters as well as by Tom Bradley’s campaign manager.
The so-called “Bradley Effect” was based on those who read only those doubtful polls which suggested a lead for Bradley (other polls consistently and correctly had him behind); Bradley actually won among people voting at the ballot box; and Bradley was defeated by the massive response rate of absentee ballots, which conservatives successfully organized for that overwhelmingly older, whiter, and more conservative absentee-ballot-using population.
So, those who said Bradley was ahead were wrong in reading polls selectively (you always have some outlier and you cannot ignore other contradictory polls), and in fact those who showed up behaved in the opposite fashion, voting for Tom Bradley in higher proportions than the polls had predicted.
The Bradley Effect could thus be reinterpreted as saying “White people will actually vote in higher proportion for black candidates at the polls than early polls would suggest, but don’t be an idiot and read polls selectively, and don’t ignore the use of other ways of voting like early and absentee ballots.”
To back this up, I travel forward in time 2 days to bring you this news from Sunday:
In short, Bradley was defeated because he was out-organized.
Tautology said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:44
The Truth believes Liberals are Hypocrites.
IF Liberals respond, it only proves that Liberals Are Hypocrites
IF Liberals do not respond, it only proves that Liberals Are Hypocrites
TAUTOLOGY: A=A
g said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:50
Troofy, I think Dr.Dick is out happily leading his everyday life while you’re here blaring your contrarian crap on a blog where everyone thinks you’re a douchebag.
But go ahead and feel superior about that.
everyone I’ve shown this too has laughed their asses off.
I’m sure you’re mom is very proud of you.
actor212 said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:58
So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?
What’s the airspeed of a laden European swallow, dickless?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
October 31, 2008 at 16:59
God, fivethirtyeight is depressing lately. Obama has never gotten over 97% - he’s just not closing the deal.
Pere Ubu said,
October 31, 2008 at 17:30
So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?
Wheee! Those straw men go over so easy, don’t they?
Ken END IS NIGH Lowery said,
October 31, 2008 at 17:32
But what if unicorns decided to stop trading fairy dust with the leprechauns? What THEN, libtards!!!
chocolatepie said,
October 31, 2008 at 17:37
So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?
Q: If you were paddling down the street in your canoe, how many pancakes would it take to cover a dog house?
A: 32, because in 1932 they made wooden golf balls.
(Also acceptable: Blue, because ice cream has no bones.)
Pere Ubu said,
October 31, 2008 at 17:47
Q: If you were paddling down the street in your canoe, how many pancakes would it take to cover a dog house?
No soap, radio!
Ken END IS NIGH Lowery said,
October 31, 2008 at 17:49
chocolatepie:
Clearly, crayons are water up.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
October 31, 2008 at 17:57
I wonder which anti-American miliitia Truth will join up with?
Will it be one of the typical ones, where the members shoot each other by accident while out on “training”?
Or will it be one of those that blow themselves up with homemade bombs?
However, there is another possibiltiy. I think there will be a new version of the Clinton-era militias: The chickenhawk blogger version. There will be a new 101st Chairborne out there, endlessly whining about how they’re going to take their Awe&0me Ar$ena1! and bring down the black blackity-black government.
ignatov said,
October 31, 2008 at 17:57
Matt Towery: “Paranoid Nation: The Real Story of The 2008 Fight For The Presidency is already on sale at Amazon.com…Here are just some of the strange facts surrounding this historic presidential contest…George W. Bush made a series of decisions that all but guaranteed that his Republican Party would have a nearly impossible time of it in 2008.”
Well, it’s hard to disagree with that.
actor212 said,
October 31, 2008 at 18:00
No soap, radio!
Get out of my head, or pay rent, dammit!
actor212 said,
October 31, 2008 at 18:01
There will be a new 101st Chairborne out there
In Truth’s case, it will be the 101st Clairol.
sagra said,
October 31, 2008 at 18:04
After the Republican man acted rudely in the restaurant, the Democrats at the surrounding tables watched as he left. Through the windows they saw him walk up to the homeless guy, and very deliberately show him two one-dollar bills. Although they couldn’t hear the Republican’s, his angry voice could be heard even through the window. Then the Republican very deliberately placed the money back into his own coat pocket and stalked off.
Without consulting each other, each of the Democrats increased their tips by $5. And as they left, each also gave $5 to the homeless person.
-The End-
Pere Ubu said,
October 31, 2008 at 18:16
Get out of my head, or pay rent, dammit!
Hey, what happened to the great socialist people’s utopia, y’ petit bourgeoise swine?
Be nice or I’ll send the palcontents over to debrain you, capitalist running dog.
D.N. Nation said,
October 31, 2008 at 18:20
Feel the McMentum…in Arizona!
Smiling Mortician said,
October 31, 2008 at 18:34
“OFAY” spelled out in saltines?
This is beautiful.
WereBear said,
October 31, 2008 at 18:36
Alternate:
The insulted waiter decides to tell the Republican his card has been declined. Since only the little people carry cash, the Republican has to wash dishes in the back. This so humiliates him he insults the homeless man on his way out. Since the man is homeless because his mental institution was closed for budget reasons under Reagan, and this is the last straw, the homeless man gives the Republican a beatdown and steals his wallet.
When the ambulance arrives, they ascertain that the unconscious Republican has no medical insurance, so he wakes up in the charity ward, where he has been misdiagnosed by an overworked physician as suffering from epilepsy. Tens of thousands of dollars in tests later, the Republican is released from the hospital, to embark on a pointless quest to not have to pay all this money, but his health insurer points out he had not gotten permission for this hospital visit.
The end.
henry lewis said,
October 31, 2008 at 18:38
The new numbers
Let’s see…
54% of 17% +/- 3.2% (extrapolate for historical regional variables) ~ 5-day weather forecast ^ random demographic shifts :: polling station irregularities/media influence…
I can safely predict a result Tuesday evening.
/superstition
actor212 said,
October 31, 2008 at 19:44
Hey, what happened to the great socialist people’s utopia, y’ petit bourgeoise swine?
The least you could do is furnish the fucking place!
MzNicky said,
October 31, 2008 at 19:55
The smirking Republican leaves the restaurant. The waiter mutters “asshole” under his breath, shrugs his shoulders, and moves on to his next customer. The homeless man is pleasantly surprised by the unexpected dollar bill that has been wadded up and tossed his way.
The Republican drives his Mercedes to his dark empty house, wondering yet again why, if he’s so clever and always wins, he can never rid himself of that deep sucking hole of despair in his soul. The waiter ends his shift, counts his tips, and joins his friends for their weekly poker game. The homeless man buys a bottle of beer and has a few moments of pleasure. The End.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 20:00
I’m genuinely pleased to see my liberal droogs having fun with my story. It’s the least I can do, given the massive, soul-crushing event that is going to happen on Tuesday.
Have a nice Halloween and get ready for an … um… eventful next week!
Shorter The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 20:05
Denial is only a river in Egypt.
Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Oh shit the president is a NEGRO! Run for the hills!!!!
actor212 said,
October 31, 2008 at 20:24
Seems a man walks past a homeless person on his way into a restaurant. His waiter is wearing an Obama button, and after he finishes lunch, he asks the waiter if he supports Obama’s wealth redistribution ideas. The waiter says yes, so the man tells him he is taking his tip and giving it to the homeless man. It seems the waiter didn’t appreciate the redistribution of money from those who earn it to those who need it.
Actually, the waiter had the last laugh, since he peed in the guy’s soup, knowing ahead of time he was a dick.
D.N. Nation said,
October 31, 2008 at 20:33
Just…sad.
jim said,
October 31, 2008 at 21:01
Hmm - seems I brought up a few not-so-minor Republican hoaxes a while back, & some little weasel had (& STILL has) absolutely jack-shit to say about it … some goofy stuff to do with Kuwaiti incubator-babies: though this was a Kuwaiti Royal Family con, Bush Sr. (who with his CIA ins must have known from Day One that it was pure hokum) pimped the hell out of it to sell the same wag-the-dog war his rep April Gillespie had sworn to Saddam was never going to happen, because his invading Kuwait was strictly an “Arab-Arab affair” … pretty snazzy hoaxing, eh, Herr Trout?
Yeah, oh, & that boffo “smoking gun in the form of a mushroom-cloud” prank his kid Georgie pulled - for the war he’d been itching to launch since before he even moved into the White House, so he could feed his arms- & petro-industry buds a few extra swimming-pools full of yummy-nummy cash … that just happened to be coated in human blood.
THOSE hoaxes didn’t ruin reputations or put innocent people in jail - they turned a seriously big number of folks into carrion … including grandmas & little babies.
Surely you wouldn’t run away and hide again? You are endlessly disgusting as you desperately hope that avoiding me will make your evident hypocrisy and intellectual cowardice go away. Get bent.
Still don’t have a straight answer YET, do you?
Three days.
N.C. said,
October 31, 2008 at 21:11
Yep, soulcrushing, it is to laugh, libs, &c.
The Truth said,
October 31, 2008 at 21:31
Hi Canadian Jim,
Still fighting Gulf War I, are we? Perhaps you can ask your new hero Colin Powell - I have nothing to say about that little disagreement. Is that the war Kerry was for before he was against? Or was that the one Gore equivocated on? It is so hard to keep track of liberal flip flops; you’ll have to fill me in.
And I never duck you, my Canuck droog. Hell, all I’m trying to do now is coax a particularly dumb fish to come back up to the surface to flop helplessly on my line again. I don’t notice you defending lib