Oct
29
29
Nice Parasiopesis, Mark*
ABOVE: Mark R. Levin
Fabio look-alike and Hair Club for Men™ spokesperson Mark R. Levin is making hair-plug jokes over at America’s Shittiest Website™:
Wearing Thin [Mark R. Levin]
Please stop with the clothes. I mean, have I asked how much money was spent on Joe Biden’s hair? No.
Well, judging by what Biden’s hair looks like, it was probably way less than $150,000, and the money certainly didn’t come from the DNC’s coffers. But thanks for not asking.
*Take that, Victorites Davisopoulos Hansenidis
Tintin adds (for Tigrisimus):
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 29, 2008 at 14:44
How much does Mark spend on shining his head?
Enquiring minds want to know!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 29, 2008 at 14:48
Paralipsis, also known as praeteritio, preterition, cataphasis, antiphrasis, or parasiopesis, is a rhetorical figure of speech wherein the speaker or writer invokes a subject by denying that it should be invoked. As such, it can be seen as a rhetorical relative of irony. Paralipsis is usually employed to make a subversive ad hominem attack.
The device is typically used to distance the speaker from unfair claims, while still bringing them up. For instance, a politician might say, “I don’t even want to talk about the allegations that my opponent is a drunk.”
Very tricksy, clif.
Arky 4 That 1 said,
October 29, 2008 at 14:50
In RealAmerica(R) frugal families shop at Neiman-Marcus! So shut up, that’s why!
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:01
Hey, wait – Palin didn’t buy all her clothes from the Kathie Lee Collection™ at her local Wal-Mart?
Why does Sarah Palin hate America?
OTB said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:05
Ben Bernanke?
kiki said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:08
Do I mention Mark Levin’s penchant for crystal meth, goat-blowing, and a whole bunch of other sick stuff I just made up about him? No. It’s called ‘taking the high road’, people.
pedestrian said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:08
How much was spent on John Edwards hair?
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:11
How much was spent on Joe-the-Not-Plumber’s hair?
Oh, wait.
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:14
I mean, have I asked why Mark Levin gobbles Viagra™ like candy corn and then hangs around kindergarden playgrounds? No.
El Cid said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:17
Yeah, can we please stop with the clothes? I mean, it’s hard to go around the country playing our Republican drag show where we dress up to be angry proletarians if someone’s constantly point out how we spent more in 2 months on wardrobe than not-Joe the not-Plumber spent on his house. It’s not fair, we planned a whole campaign being based on being more not-elite than the damn arugula-crats, and here you are talkin’ about stuff we’re doing that’s elite. It’s not fair.
fardels bear said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:49
Speaking as someone who has the same haircut as Lex Luthor, I would just like to say that Biden’s hairplugs almost cost him my vote. The symbol of our country is not the combover eagle! However, if the choice is between him and the GILF, I’ll take him.
Shorter Mark Levin said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:00
Us non-elitists don’t get hair plugs.
We just shave our pubes and glue ‘em on.
actor212 said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:26
Us non-elitists don’t get hair plugs.
We just shave our pubes and glue ‘em on.
Larry Craig tells me he just spits them out and then glues them on.
actor212 said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:27
I mean, have I asked why Mark Levin gobbles Viagra™ like candy corn and then hangs around kindergarden playgrounds? No.
Now, Pere, it would be irresponsible not to speculate!
GSD said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:31
Levin’s first toupe was made from pubic hair that he lifted off of Clarence Thomases’ Coke cans one at a time.
-GSD
The Goddamn Batman Likes A Clean Head said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:35
Dude should just go with a Headblade.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:42
Like a guillotine?
Mark said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:42
I hate that they don’t have comments on that site. I just want to say “Shut the fuck up, you goddamn idiot!” everytime. I could actually just save it in Word & copy & paste it under every column.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:53
I dunno, does this count?
actor212 said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:01
Parasiopesis
Is this an umbrella you bring onto a carousel to prevent the calliope from spitting on you?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:05
Oh and BTW, I’m assuming that the Mark Levin referenced here, complaining about the shallow commentary on women’s appearances, is the same as this Mark Levin.
tigrismus said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:10
Why did the words “Shine-O Ball-O” just pop into my head?
sagra said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:24
Mark Levin’s ideological commitment to spread the hair plugs around—taking more from Joe the Senator—spreading it around, it’s been tried in other societies, friends, and the only things that ever spread were bad toupees and folica and Propecia and stifling the Hair for Men spirit that made this country the greatest country on earth.”
J— said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:30
Please indulge this off-topic chuckle. Today’s Miami Herald (emphasis mine):
Later in the same article (link inserted mine):
Hello,
ClevelandEverglades Lumber Yard!henry lewis said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:41
Only arugula-snorting eLIEtists go to stadium rallies. Real unqualified tradesmen gather loosely in lumberyards.
Or is it ‘losely’?
tigrismus said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:42
Ah, Clif, I swoon.
actor212 said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:42
Gov. Charlie Crist, his predecessor Jeb Bush and other Florida Republicans introduced John McCain to a crowd of hundreds in the parking lot of a West Miami lumber yard Wednesday.
I thought Crist blew Florida for McCain?
You’d think that would draw thousands from South Beach alone!
Marco said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:57
Yes, we gays respond only to getting blown.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 29, 2008 at 18:01
from J—’s link.
Because Miami isn’t part of Florida.
Great budgeting there chief – freeze spending on everything except like 90% of the budget – and NASA! McCain’s government will live on a budget just like regular peple, who don’t count housing, food or health insurance as part of their budget.
I appreciate that McCain’s not very good on economics, but doesn’t he at least understand the concept of what a “commodity” is?
Snorghagen said,
October 29, 2008 at 18:02
America is descending into the eternal nightmare of Islamo-homo-communist Weather Underground tyranny and Mark Levin is concerned with Joe Biden’s hair? Bah!
Lesley said,
October 29, 2008 at 18:14
The bowling pins aren’t being knocked down, they’re running away.
jim said,
October 29, 2008 at 18:33
Mmm, parasiopesis!
I hear that stuff rocks in tuna cassarole.
What? It’s what? Oh.
“Sadly,No!” – new &/or improved: now with both schadenfreude & edumacation!
Yeah, seems like Joe Biden paid for his own friggin’ hairplugs, whereas it was the GOP coffers that bought End-Times-Spice (& some of her kinfolk too, by the look of it) all those bitchen designer-label duds – so that’s apples & rutabagas right there.
Notice how I didn’t mention that McCain plasters on the make-up like a trollop, the cunt?
That’s because I’m a parasiopesist – er, parasiopesisite – uh, parasiopesian – ah, fuck it. I’m just a mean old doodyhead.
alec said,
October 29, 2008 at 18:40
I think anyone who can look at the would-be Rent-Boy-In-Chief and compare him favorably to Obama in terms of ‘elitism’ is a fucking lunatic. The man pleases his millionaire heiress wife by diddling around in politics in a single-party state.
If this is an average American to you, don’t act surprised when the people who are ‘average’ in terms of things that matter – economics, age, and politics – realize you’re running a half-assed long-con and drop you like a hot potato.
Shorter Mark Levin said,
October 29, 2008 at 18:42
> ”I’m going to make government live on a budget just like you do. We’ll freeze government spending on all but the most important programs,” McCain said, mentioning defense, healthcare, Social Security and NASA as essential expenditures.
Will republicans only budget spending for designer label rockets?
SecurityMom said,
October 29, 2008 at 18:54
You liberals. You can make fun of the heartland of middle America all you want, at your peril, your going to loose!
Gay Man Against Prop Hate said,
October 29, 2008 at 18:57
Hello. I am a homosexual. I am against Propostition 8 because I think STr8 Marriages should be outlawed. We are superior to the straights and so our are marriages and our children. The Gay way is best and we need to reeducate all of you haters, and even some supporters because we are better than you. Really.
bayville said,
October 29, 2008 at 19:04
Ooooohhhh!
Mark Levin: Smart, funny and George Clooney-like handsome.
The wingnut dreamboat.
Snorghagen said,
October 29, 2008 at 19:05
A shocking revelation from Dick Morris: there’s actually a possibility that Obama could win the election!
…there is still a chance that a massive turnout will deliver the race to the Democrats.
Whoooo-eee!
thwap said,
October 29, 2008 at 19:07
Never mind Levin’s baldness. It’s his voice (considering his job) that should be the issue. That and his gargantuan stupidity and lying.
SecurityDad™³²®© said,
October 29, 2008 at 19:08
That’s it.
I’m going fishin’, I’ll be back in a week. Maybe.
Erik W. said,
October 29, 2008 at 19:13
I’m glad that they don’t, for exactly the same reason.
Mooser said,
October 29, 2008 at 19:29
We are superior to the straights and so our are marriages and our children…
Yes, but rubbing our faces in it is vulgar. My marraige may be, well it is, actually, a shambles, but I don’t go around bragging about my other accomplishments, like being heterosexual. Well, latent, anyway.
The best marriage in the world is no good to you if you are vulgar, VULGAR!
Mooser said,
October 29, 2008 at 19:31
Security Mom, I’ve heard you’re a little looser yourself, these days.
Major Woody said,
October 29, 2008 at 21:21
Hey There Gay Man Against Prop Hate (GAMAPH),
Well Gamaph, you’ve got me convinced! I’m ditching the wife and headin’ out to score some hot homo-lovin’. However, if you would, please advise: where can a guy looking to get it on go where he is safe from closeted Republican man-whores?
Smut Clyde said,
October 29, 2008 at 21:41
Parasiopesis is actually a rhetorical device wherein one compares one’s opponent to a tapeworm, and I would never stoop to using it against Mark Levin.
Tom said,
October 29, 2008 at 21:46
According to Senator Biden, when he splurges he spends $20 on a haircut.
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 23:07
A shocking revelation from Dick Morris: there’s actually a possibility that Obama could win the election!
That’s why he gets paid the big bucks, you know, deep insightful political commentary like that.
I’m going to hire myself out as a astronomical consultant now. I predict the Sun will rise in the East. *BING* That’ll be $25,000 plus expenses!