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Joe The Kahanist
It all gets terribly clogged for Joe the Plumber, who hit the campaign trail for John McCain today and proceeded to excite two key GOP constituencies, Neo-Nazis and End Timers … about an Obama presidency:
‘Joe the Plumber’ Backs Claim That Obama Would Bring ‘Death to Israel’
Joe Wurzelbacher, a.k.a. ‘Joe the Plumber,’ on Tuesday twice agreed with a claim from an audience member at a John McCain rally that ‘a vote for Barack Obama is a vote for the death to Israel.’
Wurzelbacher was hitting the campaign trail on behalf of McCain for the first time, joining former Rep. Rob Portman on a GOP bus tour through Ohio.
At a stop in Columbus, he fielded the question on Israel from a self-identified Jewish senior citizen.
The questioner said he was ‘concerned’ with Barack Obama’s associations and ‘It’s my belief that a vote for Obama is a vote for the death to Israel.’
Wurzelbacher responded: ‘I do know that.’
The questioner then complained about Obama’s tax policies and reiterated his Israel comment.
‘Well, you know what, I’ll actually go ahead and agree with you on that one,’ Wurzelbacher said. ‘You know … no, I agree with ya.’
Even the Foxbots can’t defend Joe’s shiny-pated stupidity.
Sarah Palin said,
October 29, 2008 at 1:54
But he’s running for Congress, donchaknow! He’s an ignorant tool with delusions of competency, which is what real Americans are seekin in this time a crisis you betcha.
moron said,
October 29, 2008 at 1:56
There was a mix-up a few months ago—Joe the Plumber was trying to dislodge a particularly huge lump of shit from an Ohio toilet, when he accidentally fell in. The huge lump of shit splashed up into Joe’s place and has been walking around, mistaken for human, ever since.
Only now are people beginning to figure out that the semi-organic entity walking around calling itself “Joe the Plumber” is actually a huge lump of shit, passing for human.
The Rugged Truth in Montana said,
October 29, 2008 at 1:58
‘Joe the Plumber was trying to dislodge a particularly huge lump of shit from an Ohio toilet, when he accidentally fell in. The huge lump of shit splashed up into Joe’s place and has been walking around, mistaken for human, ever since.”
Disregard and disrespect real Americans at your peril, my liberal droogs. After McCain’s LANDSLIDE next week, you may wish you could eat those words, but it will be to late because nothing ever goes away on the internet, especially trolls.
Gary Ruppert said,
October 29, 2008 at 1:59
The fact is, Joe the Plumber is equally qualified — if not better — to evaluate Obama’s policy towards the Middle East than the so-called intellectual elite and so-called mainstream Israeli public opinion.
ron said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:01
joe the dumber.
good one, right?
moron said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:01
disregard and disrespect real Americans at your peril
Are you really trying to tell me that a walking, quasi-animate lump of human shit counts as more of a “real american” than the 60% of the country that prefers Obama to McCain?
The Rugged Truth in Montana said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:02
Don’t ask me, I’m just a half-hearted parody troll.
J— said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:03
Do watch the video at Think Progress. Shepard Smith is clearly frustrated and bothered by what he hears. And Joe The really thinks he being smart and coy and zingereque by saying yeah, I agreed with a crazy statement, but the onus to explain the reasons why is not on me but on everyone else. A winning debate strategy, should he choose to run for office.
JasonC said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:09
PALIN/JOE-THE-NON-PLUMBER 2012!!1!!
“Ignorance you can believe in.”
Mr. Wonderful said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:11
McCain taps Palin, and she “goes rogue” (isn’t that a synonym for “maverick”?) and talks about her clothes and socialism. He elevates Joe the P. to national prominence, and ends up with a skinhead announcing that Obama will destroy Israel.
Can this please never end?
marindenver said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:11
“The fact is, Joe the Plumber is equally qualified — if not better — to evaluate Obama’s policy towards the Middle East than the so-called intellectual elite and so-called mainstream Israeli public opinion.”
Joe the Plumber isn’t even qualified to be a plumber. This last ploy of the McCain Campaign is absolutely embarrassing to the American public in its total pandering to people’s basest ideas and most superstitious beliefs. And you are a total embarrassment to educated people, which you apparently are, because of your total inability to equate thought processes with typing skills.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:11
At a stop in Columbus, he fielded the question on Israel from a self-identified Jewish senior citizen.
It wasn’t me. (Although I’m neither Jewish nor am I quite willing to self-identify as a senior citizen yet, I was in Columbus today. At work. Hard at work. Honest!)
D. Aristophanes said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:14
Joe shaves his head so the media elite can’t steal his thoughts via hair vibrations.
Snorghagen said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:18
I’m not clear on what’s happening here. Is Wurzelbacher doing this on his own or did the McCain campaign actually enlist this nitwit to do high-profile campaigning for them?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:18
He really is an American Everyman…
sniff!
[wipes tear from eye]
tigrismus said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:20
At work. Hard at work. Honest!
You just lost any welfare LIEberal socialist cred you had around here, pal. I, on the other hand, sat around and ate imported bonbons all day today. OR DID I?
Rene ala Carte said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:21
I thought you were only due 15 minutes of fame. Joe met that mark about 9 minutes into the third debate.
Our cable news shows really are just an incarnation of American Idol.
Vote him off the island.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:25
But did you have bourbon with your bonbons, tigrismus?
Enquiring minds want to know!
bemused said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:29
It will be revealed later this week that this whole “Joe the Plumber” nonsense is a deep-cover antic of the Daily Show. You look at that picture of Joe and tell me that it’s not Rob Corddry.
Ya heard it here first.
MzNicky said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:30
Can this please
neverend?Fixey-poo!
Cuz really and truly, I’ve had the most vicious headache since, oh, I think it was Palin’s hate speech at the Rethug convention. I cannot take much more.
One more week … one … more … week …
tigrismus said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:36
I had Louis Latour Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru, but after the bonbons, with an arugula salad and a French onion tart. And it’s not John Edward’s baby! I was kidnapped by aliens.
Danny said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:36
Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bold-headed men are uptight.
Danny said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:37
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:38
I was waiting for the Whitnail & I reference!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:40
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
That’s a boldface lie!
JK47 said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:46
Bush was able to beat Kerry largely because he was able to hang the “elitist” tag on the horse-faced senator. This time, it’s the ReThug who’s married to the multi-gazillionaire heiress, so to overcompensate we get such national jokes as Joe Teh Plumber and Sarah Mooseburgers. McCain and Schmidt have an absolutely tin ear for identity politics. They can’t smear Obama as elitist for being RICH, so they smear him as elitist for being SMART. It has failed spectacularly.
Trotting out dumbasses like Joe Teh Plumber and Sarah Palin only appeals to other dumbasses. I can’t imagine that there’s ever been a more cynical, anti-intellectual campaign run by a presidential candidate in American history.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:48
One more week … one … more … week …
I’m with MzNicky. I want this election to be over.
I also want to suggest to all of you in or near a swing state to spend at least a couple of hours this week (or weekend) doing something to help out the Obama campaign. It’s not over until it’s over (and even if you think it is over, I can think of no compelling reason not to run up the score).
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:49
You know, it was just this past Friday when I speculated on the inevitable situation where Joe-The-Not-Plumber “opens his ignorant piehole and pops off something Bachmannian in its stupidity”.
Little did I know it would happen so quickly.
El Cid said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:49
ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! THE HANNITY ANTI-PALESTINIANGASM HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED! ABORT ALL SCREAMING ABOUT OBAMA AND THAT EVIL PROFESSOR RASHID KHALIDI WHO SAID NICE THINGS ABOUT OBAMA A COUPLE TIMES! ABORT! ABORT!
This is from ourearlier phase of screaming about Khalidi:
THIS IS FROM THE UPDATED POST-ABORT PHASE:
REPEAT: ABORT ALL SCREAMING ABOUT EVIL PROFESSOR RASHID KHALIDI IMMEDIATELY! PRETEND IN FACT THAT IT NEVER EVER HAPPENED AND WE NEVER MENTIONED HIM!!! URGENT!!! ABORT! ABORT!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:50
From the foxbot link:
Stopping at a flag store, Wurzelbacher twice agreed with a questioner who said that “a vote for Obama is a vote for the death to Israel.”
A flag store. Really, where the fuck else.
I agree with MzNicky and the Dr. Missus. Let’s get Obama elected and finish this stupidity. There will of course be new stupidity, but a change is as good as a rest.
El Cid said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:50
Ooops — H/T to DailyKos poster Alhena.
Lucky Gerenuk said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:51
I like that the guy who thinks Obama means “death to Israel” also interrupts this line of thought to worry about a tax increase.
You can tell how truly committed he is to the idea of Israel’s imminent peril, and how much he really believes what he’s saying. It’s like he’s a passenger on a plane who looks out the window and notices something terribly wrong with the engines: “This plane is about to crash! And, by the way, what’s with having to pay for the earphones to watch the in-flight movie?”
SecurityMom said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:51
If Obama wins, America will be ruined. Free enterprise, hard work and freedom will be replaced by black power, socialism and terrorists, probably greenshirts, too. America needs to drill for oil, kick out the illegals, shut up the gays and protect my children, all other issues do not matter.
I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors. You liberals hate it.
Rightwingier-Than-Thou said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:55
Stopping at a flag store
A flag store? [snort!] A real American (like me) has a six-pack of jumbo-sized American flags delivered to his doorstep every morning along with the milk.
Tommmcatt said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:59
What the hell is a greenshirt?
SomeNYGuy said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:59
You’ll get my green shirt when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
tigrismus said,
October 29, 2008 at 2:59
I’m with MzNicky. I want this election to be over.
Yeah, I’m ready to consummate this thing already.
Loneoak said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:00
Soooo … what flavor of schadenfreude will ya’ll be drinking next Tuesday?
I can’t decide whether to slurge on some top shelf dark rum or a 21-year-old scotch. Either way, I will probably start the
morningevening with a bottle of Saison DuPont or Saison Phantome.I will also make it a point to eat arugula sometime during the day. Maybe an arugula salad and a quiche with wild mushrooms. Is that elitist enough?
Nascar McHeartland said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:01
Look, it’s funny and all, up to a point, but really it’s terrible the way the media has literally savaged this guy.
I mean, here’s a regular guy who just wants to use a question to make a point and get talked about, and then the so-called media jump all over him about “his conclusion is wrong” and “his premise is also wrong” and “he’s not actually a plumber” and “his name isn’t even Joe” and “he doesn’t seem to pay his taxes anyway so why should he care” on and on. It’s terrible. Here in the Heartland we don’t do things like that — if someone wins the Biggest Pumpkin contest and then later it turns out that it wasn’t a pumpkin but a pumpkin-shaped Astrojump, we all just pretend like it didn’t happen and have a new contest. Or if someone grabs Miss Land-O-Goshen’s lady parts and finds instead man parts, we just drink a whole lot of corn whiskey so as not to remember that (and, you know, while we’re so drunk it doesn’t count, no use letting that date go to waste).
So the thing to do now is to make sure we don’t learn anything from this, is what I guess I’m sayin’. Shucks.
Lesley said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:01
I’m sick of this guy being called a plumber when he’s not and has no license and was an unemployed tax evader until Republicans hired him to be their mascot.
Joe-another-shitty-Republican is more like it.
Oliver Queen said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:03
What the hell is a greenshirt?
What me and my friend Hal Jordan fight over whenever one’s on sale at the Gap.
Doctorb said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:05
I’m not sure what greenshirts are; I think they’re the GI Joe guys who just wear regular uniforms (rather than a football jersey or a leather-daddy vest). But I will tell you this much: you’d better cut off all identifying labels.
Loneoak said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:05
For fuck’s sake SecurityMom, I already told you to get a better handle. If you’re gonna troll, you cannot use a handle made up from some bullshit 2004 demographic (side note: did Marc Penn create that one?). HockeyMom would do. PitBullMom is also acceptable. SkinHeadBitch is probably more accurate.
Besides, aren’t you too busy for trolling, what with all the making sure your son doesn’t masturbate to gay interracial porn and your daughter doesn’t masturbate at all?
Smut Clyde said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:07
I’m sick of this guy being called a plumber when he’s not and has no license and was an unemployed tax evader until Republicans hired him to be their mascot.
Come now, Lesley. Next you’ll be suggesting that real grass is better than astroturf.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:08
What the hell is a greenshirt?
I’m guessing eco-nazi. Probably some Rush Limbaugh thing that only Real Americans see as anything but a dogwhistle.
Ripley said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:09
I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors. You liberals hate it.
But I’m voting for Obama/Biden. Do you think my neighbor hates that?
Philosophy is hard!
tigrismus said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:09
Is that elitist enough?
Needs more bonbons.
WereBear said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:10
Ah, Joe’s living the Amurrican Dream, man! He’s not a plumber, and he’s not buying a successful business, but he’s running around at rallies, pretending to be this fount of wisdom for what I hope is enough bucks to offset his legal problems and tax deficits.
He’s been pulled out of the audience, and instead of guessing the prices of appliances, he’s guessing the direction of foreign policy.
What a country.
Lesley said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:11
Btw, since when is a plumber (that Joe even isn’t) from Bumfuck Egypt an expert on Israel and foreign policy?
And why isn’t he saying to reporters: Look, I’m not even a plumber so stop calling me a plumber and please stop asking questions I have no qualifications to answer.
See, that right there is the quality of individual that Bush hired to manage the aftermath of Katrina and the Justice Department and Homeland Security. I can already see McCain’s staffers offering this idiot a job at the Whitehouse as head of something or other, and although it wouldn’t be the plumbing dept. – which is just as well since Joe is not a plumber – it would be something else he hasn’t got the qualifications to manage.
Doctorb said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:11
I agree, except about the “ry” part.
Doctorb said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:13
They could hire him to leak information to the media.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:13
I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors
I live in Cambridge. I can assure you they’re not.
My family lives in rural Oregon, and not even their neighbors are voting for McCain.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:13
Btw, since when is a plumber (that Joe even isn’t) from Bumfuck Egypt an expert on Israel and foreign policy?
Well, you can see Israel from Egypt, and applying the Palin principle, there you go.
Even rightwingier than that guy up there said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:14
A real polyester-trousered, apple-pie-pooping American (me, for instance) has a basement full of illegal aliens chained to industrial sewing machines toiling 24-7 to produce a single American flag that will cover the entire state of Kansas.
J— said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:20
Is Wurzelbacher doing this on his own or did the McCain campaign actually enlist this nitwit to do high-profile campaigning for them?
The latter. Today he was on a bus tour of Ohio with Rob Portman, former congressman and budget chief in the Bush Administration.
John McCain said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:22
I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.
Neighbor, dear. Utah is just one state.
henry lewis said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:22
Is there anything left in the wardrobe budget for Joe the Unplumber?
Snorghagen said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:24
My neighbors are dust mites. They’re not registered.
Even More Rightwingier Than That said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:25
Oh, yeah? Well, as a Lee Greenwood-listening Yankee Doodle-loving Star-Spangled NASCAR-American, I had myself tattoo-ed from head to toe to look just like an American flag and I hold on to a pole in my front yard and turn on this wind-machine I bought so that I’m parallel to the ground, flapping in the wind. I stay like this for eight hours a day, and right before sunset a troop of Boy Scouts folds me up into a neat little triangle and shoves me under my front door.
Lesley said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:26
The only people voting for McCain are the village idiots (afflicted with 7 kinds of mad cow) and there aren’t enough of them, thankfully, to make a shred of difference.
JK47 said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:33
In regards to Khalidi, however, the guilt-by-association game burns John McCain as well.
During the 1990s, while he served as chairman of the International Republican Institute (IRI), McCain distributed several grants to the Palestinian research center co-founded by Khalidi, including one worth half a million dollars.
Haahaaahaha, it’s the “Fake October Surprise” du jour. This one didn’t even last as long as Ashley Todd.
Orange Tom said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:34
Joe is goin’ rogue and he’s too big to fail!!!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:35
Neighbor, dear. Utah is just one state.
Heh. Nice one, senator.
I live in Utah, and my neighbors are voting for Obama.
Of course, the state is red like a hanky after a nosebleed, but my neighborhood is refreshingly enlightened.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:36
did the McCain campaign actually enlist this nitwit to do high-profile campaigning for them?
Yes.
BTW, I call him “Joe the Fuckwad.”
But “Joe the Fuck(insert your choice of noun here)” also works.
J— said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:42
This is just pathetic.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:44
But “Joe the Fuck(insert your choice of noun here)” also works.
I’ve thought of a few, and sure enough, they all work.
My favorite one so far is “fuckwalrus”.
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:47
I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.
Yeah, but I’m voting for Obama, so I get to help run the re-education camps. Be nice to me and I’ll slip you an extra helping of rat tart while the Fuherer’s back is turned.
JK47 said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:49
But “Joe the Fuck(insert your choice of noun here)” also works.
Ooh, I wanna try!
Joe The Fucktard
Joe The Fuckface
Joe The Fuckhead
Joe The Fuckstain
Joe The Fucknozzle
Joe The Fuckbag
Joe The Fuckpig
Joe The Fuckass
Joe The Fuckfart
This is awesome.
Gerald Curl said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:55
I hear that if you go into the bathroom, turn off the lights and chant seven times “Joe the Plumber come to us,” your toilet will flush.
Joe Max said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:57
I have no sympathy.
McCain is the one who elevated him to iconic status for his own selfish purposes, not the media. Blame McCain.
The guy could have simply faded out like the so many other “regular guy” campaign stories in about two news cycles. He decided to keep whipping the horse.
No sympathy at all.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 3:57
I hear that if you go into the bathroom, turn off the lights and chant seven times “Joe the Plumber come to us,” your toilet will flush.
I tried it, but the toilet clogged and flooded all over the place. Not recommended.
ice weasel said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:02
Ok, so imagine if you will, in a supreme rovian effort, you’re a mole in the mccain campaign and not just mole. No, you’re a mole for the dems and you’re mccain campaign manager. Now, if you’re going to be a successful mole, you can’t just come out on the first day of the campaign and say mccain is a gay, commie who wants to rip babies from the womb and eat them on love televsion. No, you have to be a little more subtle.
Ok, snap out of it. But consider this, if that were possible, could the mole do any more damage to the mccain campaign than it has done to itself, over and over again? palin, joe-the-walking-penis, angry john, suspending the campaign, the list goes on and on. Even aside from numerous of pictures of videos of your candidate doing everything but fellating the least popular president of modern times, could it be worse for these people?
And finally, a very brief commentary on the folks who get polled, yet it’s still “close”.
Words fail me.
Oh, and finally finally, I did what gerald curl suggested above, I chanted his name and all that happened was my toilet overflowed. Somehow that’s fitting.
Lesley said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:07
I live in Utah, and my neighbors are voting for Obama.
The Salt Lake Tribune officially endorsed Obama last week.
http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_10750163
“A simple choice: The nation needs Barack Obama in the White House”… “The editorial board of The Salt Lake Tribune believes that Barack Obama can deliver…”
FlipYrWhig said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:07
Maybe that was who the “aggressively directional” menswear spree was meant for. Right Said Fred, meet Right Ho Joe! He’s too sexy for this pipesnake!
stackozone said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:08
Excellent! Have all our green-shirted gays drill the illegals for oily children! Make America storng again, Morans!!!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:10
The Salt Lake Tribune officially endorsed Obama last week.
So I saw, and most tickled I was. My neighborhood is bigger than I thought it was, at least this year.
I won’t deny that that’s amazing, but the SLTrib is Utah’s big secular paper. I don’t know if the Deseret News has made an endorsement – if they go Obama, I’ll be utterly featherknockoverable.
Gentlewoman said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:11
you’d better cut off all identifying labels
ooo Doctorb, you tease. you flirt.
Back to Whoever the Whatever: did the McCain campaign actually enlist this nitwit to do high-profile campaigning for them?
Whatever they’re paying him, it’s not enough. Can’t we do a blogaround or whatever, and keep him out there until Tuesday?
cuz srsly hez ossim.
Anonymous said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:13
I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.
I live in Orange County, California, where just about everyone is a registered Republican, and not even my neighbors are voting for McCain.
Tuesday can’t come fast enough. It has been fun, but I need it to end so that I can stop obsessively looking at the news just to get a good laugh.
John Sidney McCain III said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:16
My friends, they laughed when I sat down to play the Might Wurzelbacher.
N.C. said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:16
Plumbers, carpenters, they’re all the same, my friends! John McCain had neither plumbing nor carpentry for five and a half years, so this is an acceptable compromise.
Rugged in Montana said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:24
What are you, some kinda badger-lovin’ pussy? Up here in Real American Butte, we don’t cater to you wusses that imbibe of the spirits what come in bottles with labels.
J— said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:25
If you’re a glutton for punishment, check out the gallery of “I’m Joe the Plumber” videos at the McCain web site.
Lesley said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:28
From the Huffington Post
Someone needs to explain to McCain what “a liability” means. Also “research” and “reference check.”
Every worthwhile CEO – as McNuts describes himself- should have these nailed.
Snorghagen said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:32
While we’re on the subject of self-destructing plumbers: Pete the Plumber checks out, in true plumber style.
(Robert Crumb, in Spanish translation.)
Loneoak said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:35
Aw, Twoofie, that’s so cute. You think your grandpa will win a big ole’ bwue state.
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:37
I don’t know if the Deseret News has made an endorsement – if they go Obama, I’ll be utterly featherknockoverable.
If the Deseret News goes for Obama I’m off to sell electric blankets in Hades, which will undoubtedly be suffering a sudden cold snap.
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:38
Redbreast Irish Whiskey.
Elitist.
Lesley said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:42
If you’re a glutton for punishment, check out the gallery of “I’m Joe the Plumber” videos at the McCain web site.
The Daily Show did a great skit last night on Palin’s rejection of labels. When asked if she considered herself a feminist, she replied that she didn’t like labels and didn’t label people. LOOK AT ALL THE LABELS ON THE MCCAIN SITE. Har.
It’s McBob the McBuilder on Steroids
Snorghagen said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:51
Where’s Duane on Meth?
Pere Ubu said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:52
Is it me or does Joe-The-Not-Plumber look like that scary always-pissed-off-looking bald guy from “The Shield” who’s always looking pissed off and aiming a gun at someone?
Snorghagen said,
October 29, 2008 at 4:57
He also looks like Steve Schmidt without a suit, or maybe a more down-home version of Lex Luthor.
Rugged in Montana said,
October 29, 2008 at 5:04
What are you, some kinda badger-lovin’ pussy? Up here in Real American Butte, we don’t cater to you wusses that imbibe of the spirits what come in bottles with labels.
Good grief, we are ALL Rugged in Montana now!
Rugged in Montana said,
October 29, 2008 at 5:15
We sure am, me!
Smut Clyde said,
October 29, 2008 at 5:16
Looks to me like Sibelius in his mid-30s — when he suddenly stopped being a Romantic poet type with wild hair and a consumptive build and a far-away stare; and morphed into a bald-headed beetle-browed glowering hulk, a sort of Scandinavian sumo wrestler.
Sibelius was scary.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 29, 2008 at 5:18
…maybe a more down-home version of Lex Luthor.
Joe Luthor, the Cousin Nobody Talks About.
Snorghagen said,
October 29, 2008 at 5:28
I’ll bet that’s intentional. If the plumbing gig doesn’t pan out, he’s ready to become Joe the Composer.
Orange Tom said,
October 29, 2008 at 5:28
…maybe a more down-home version of Lex Luthor.
Let’s just call him…X-Lax Luther.
Anthony said,
October 29, 2008 at 6:20
Larry the seven-fingered mail-bomber
Josephine the perpetually “in a transition phase” 29-year-old stripper
Jimmy the Mole
Kathleen the road-rageaholic soccer-mom
Evan the hopelessly naive believer in the prosperity gospel
Chad the C-student son of law partner
George the Lockheed Martin executive
I can keep going people! It’s a very big tent. Anyone else have any suggestions?
JanusNode said,
October 29, 2008 at 6:24
Oh I’ve got suggestions all right.
Lesley said,
October 29, 2008 at 6:40
Sarah, Alaska beauty contest winner and new and prettier Cheney if you’ll have me
Joe the Plumber who can’t fix your pipes or pay taxes but has yer foreign policy right here
John McCain, he’s not afraid to yell “cunt” at a woman in public
Doctorb said,
October 29, 2008 at 6:45
Ted the Inmate
Spider the Guy Who Cooks Meth
Dave the Butcher
Joe the Barista
Juan the Migrant Farm Laborer
Zoltan the Amazing
Jeff the Male Prostitute
Franz the Archduke
Tito the President of Yugoslavia
GSD said,
October 29, 2008 at 6:48
John the Racebaiter and Sarah the Nieman Marcus Model love Joe the Plumber even though he’s full of shit.
-GSD
JanusNode said,
October 29, 2008 at 6:55
Fleet Admiral Vikiyoyyaycro Reptilian the Shepherd
Explosivesdir Invigorate the Chemist
Audrie Ploypreebo the Secretary
Softinisha Philippians-Emerson the Fire Marshal
Mayor JogPersianizations Darlings the Garbage Collector
Baroness Rowed Dajotigrim the Switchboard Operator
Sportivethoud Heartbeat-Blends the Mountain Rescuer
Lynette-Clelia Pigizo the Saxophonist
Baron Noydonnie Carin the Firefighter
Bernadinexayy Wichboldoyb the Graphic Artist
Dr. Blends-Filter the Sex Worker
Guru Meefedajocaklzoy Hayes-Emergency the Software Engineer
Russians Tuxoyplva the Tuner
Great Grandma Gej the Calligrapher
Kari-Dino Toucrjivixshood the Cellist
Baron Xacrouvav the Record Producer
Countess Faviola the Coroner
Private Brushlike Mountaineering-Pacemaker the Librarian
Sister General Sik the Screenwriter
Toymclewoh Leaden-Organist the Animator
Mister Indoor the Calligrapher
Burps Speed the Hotelier
Alysha Web the Haberdasher
Dijo Carlene the Industrialist
Lanka the Paramedic
Nayleefay Stephane the Tutor
Chelseypre Winifred the Educator
Joleneyet Ga the Transit Planner
Handingra Unmistakable-Barry the Educationalist
Count Clilashunda Spoil the Cognitive Scientist
Cimewepl vohbol Compromises the Youth Worker
Chief Warrant Officer Zoklechase Ruth the Crystallographer
Nicolasa Tenesha the Tutor
Nourteeteetou Judgments the Sexologist
Marge Thujipeh the Fire Marshal
Sittersfee Titus the Ferryman
Normallysur Yvone the Locksmith
Grandmother Absorbed Geoffrey the Donkey Trainer
Boyvi Cleecloklquouvav the Matador
Robrightens Tranquil-Michelson the Orthopaedist
Maricelamouy Silk-Warrants the Dictator
Commodore Intimidation Woymelequoohegum the Landlord
Lieutenant Institutemopl Kemberly the Civil Servant
Grandma Crashed the Designer
Commander Soygkih Trough-Existential the Odontologist
Gunnery Sergeant Hindu the Playwright
Raelenecoyde Letter the Cop
Queen Blitzesthu Anton the Vicar
Sergeant First Class HeklWilma Dahl-Shin the Custodian
Major General Bife Sealed the Economist
President Sov the Webmaster
Pacoosik Alysia the Police Officer
Rear Admiral Micaelapoho Accordions-Dents the Logistician
Klud Stream the Photographer
Noticeably Tuf the Construction Engineer
Pope Cliftonquf Alba the Dustman
Zayledde Mirella the Materials Scientist
Plaquplooccooldocr Soyg the Chemist
Teddy-Charlyn Lizzie the Parker
Eric-Alayna Routinely-Attendants the Courier
Prince Adjuredcrou Stephenie the Test Pilot
Retard Lillie the Police inspector
Hekloutstrips Toby the Film Producer
Doctor Ruthie the Broadcast Engineer
Prothrueben Ivy the Horse Trainer
Batavia Kurt the Weaponsmith
Yoyyoculegitgay Nuployqunookelayc the Cognitive Scientist
ShaIda Radioed-Recur the Clerk
Second Lieutenant Eustolia Chronography-Alps the Banker
Brother Doysazdoucash Material the Business Analyst
Lieutenant Commander Chang-Yaeko Plum the Camp Counselor
Commodore Herbert the Private Detective
Major General Schoolrooms the Estate Agent
Queen Lahvescoo the Model
Admiral Johnnie-Susann Dixie-Candidates the Real Estate Developer
Bloodiest Overjoyed the Florist
Aversionvee Olympia the Illustrator
Yoyyo Socorro the Organist
Lance Corporal Charlielah Patented the Demographer
Cardinal Cherlyquoo Lyndia the Choreographer
Commander Buff Valencia the Cowherd
Rouvixsov Equinox-Collection the Circuit Preacher
Saint Sam the Carpenter
Migraine Coojjon the Modeller
Babara-Josephine Powder the Technician
Diaper Fran the House Painter
King Docriot Accepts-Assigners the Bookseller
Commodore Darker the Doctor
Cousin Unshaken Pli the Stunt performer
Grandpa Quoklbitches Flatter the Nuclear Engineer
Crouboymmuric Joleen the Drummer
Brigadier General Chief Warrant Officer Plunder-Putnam the Pathologist
Toymgeeclay the Lecturer
Stefania Clubbed-Tribunes the Drycooper
Morphism Alamos the Geophysicist
Zoysander Kloththich the Television Announcer
Great Grandma Noe the Taxonomist
Cemeteries Jere the Beauty Queen
ascensionjih Palma the Accountant
Colonel Myrtis the Fruiterer
Joodutenooke Prakveymef the Aerospace Engineer
JanusNode said,
October 29, 2008 at 6:56
I do not believe I’d want Diaper Fran painting my house. Bet she’d install a good shit moat though.
paul said,
October 29, 2008 at 7:18
Joe the Plumber Rally with John McCain in Miami, FL
WTF is he running for?
g said,
October 29, 2008 at 7:48
I, for one, accept as the ultimate authority on foreign policy toward Israel, a non-licensed plumber from Toledo, Ohio, named Wurzelbacher.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 29, 2008 at 7:55
Karl the Ratfucker
Jonah the Retard
K-Lo the Secret Alcoholic
Glenn the Honesty-Slayer
J-Pod the William Howard Taft Impersonator
Rush the Tweaker
Country Dick Montana said,
October 29, 2008 at 9:15
“The Truth said,
Redbreast Irish Whiskey”
Note to self: Avoid Redbreast Irish Whiskey. It seems to be popular amongst the fucknozzle set.
Green Eagle said,
October 29, 2008 at 9:23
#
Gary Ruppert said,
“October 29, 2008 at 1:59
The fact is, Joe the Plumber is equally qualified — if not better — to evaluate Obama’s policy towards the Middle East than the so-called intellectual elite and so-called mainstream Israeli public opinion.”
Mr. Ruppert:
Neither Joe nor you appear to have one God damned clue what mainstream Israeli public opinion is, nor, apparently, do you have a clue about what is going on there, or what is good for Israel. I would bet a thousand dollars that Joe the Plumber could not, without coaching, find Jerusalem and Tel Aviv on a map of Israel.
Israel is a real place, full of living human beings, not a pawn in your pathetic electoral game.
I have lived and worked in Israel, with Jews, Palestinians, Israeli Arabs and Bedouins. This was a non-political and non- religious job. I can guarantee you that virtually no one in Israel agrees with, or gives a damn about your right wing power fantasies.
The people of this country finally have seen through your lies, your hatred, your greed and your stupidity. It’s time to take Joe and disappear from the public discourse.
Anticipated Cuc said,
October 29, 2008 at 9:25
I totally saw that coming.
a concerned citizen said,
October 29, 2008 at 9:51
I infinitely prefer the original “X the Y” politician, Seattle’s own Mike the Mover.
smapdi said,
October 29, 2008 at 10:15
I’d still hit that.
Just Alison said,
October 29, 2008 at 11:55
Green shirt? Here’s Elvis Costello’s Green Shirt (sadly, very crappy video).
spence-bob said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:04
I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.
The yard signs in my neighborhood suggest otherwise.
And I live in Florida.
JanusNode said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:14
Anticipated Cuc said,
October 29, 2008 at 9:25 (kill)
I totally saw that coming.
Now that’s funny.
Yes! said,
October 29, 2008 at 15:24
You know who I feel sorry for? Every other plumber named Joe, who now has to hear this shit for the rest of their lives every time they make a housecall.
chocolatepie said,
October 29, 2008 at 16:09
Bush was able to beat Kerry largely because he was able to hang the “elitist” tag on the horse-faced senator. This time, it’s the ReThug who’s married to the multi-gazillionaire heiress, so to overcompensate we get such national jokes as Joe Teh Plumber and Sarah Mooseburgers.
Yeah, Bush didn’t go to no high-fallootin’ East Coast college, has never tasted quail, and he CERTAINLY doesn’t wear Brooks Brothers. He’d much rather be livin’ in a trailer with y’all than in the fanciest fucking government-sponsored mansion in the world.
Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Is Anything For Real? said,
October 29, 2008 at 17:30
[...] they have him out there anyway, giving us his deep thoughts on socialism. You simply can not make this shit up. The McCain campaign is now a surrealist farce. Or maybe I [...]
Eric (an halibut) said,
October 29, 2008 at 20:05
Gunnery Sergeant Hindu the Playwright
Second Lieutenant Eustolia Chronography-Alps the Banker
Yoyyoculegitgay Nuployqunookelayc the Cognitive Scientist
A barrage of win! A fusillade!
jim said,
October 29, 2008 at 21:15
Man, talk about screwing the pooch without a rubber: when you’re slagging Obama & even a guy on FOX NEWS(!) is giving you the stinkeye, maybe it’s past time for you to STFU.
Well, at least it’s a step up from having some homeless crackhead boasting about giving Obama a hummer & snorting blow with him.
Barely.
O RLY?
Yes, Herr Trout, very late indeed – like, say, late 2016.
Maybe.
5 days.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 29, 2008 at 23:24
Stopping at a flag store
‘Cos FSM knows that he’s never been in a plumbing supply shop!
Leila said,
October 30, 2008 at 0:19
Joe the Plumber is an a-hole who thinks he’s hot sh*t. They say he’s 34 years old but he looks 50. Sounds like he’s already got a contract to sing country music in Nashville. Betcha he won’t sell crap and will soon go back to unclogging toilets.