22
Out Of The Frying Pan With Janet Folger
One might have imagined a certain relief as having overtaken our pal Janet Folger, following Hillary Clinton’s retreat from the presidential race:
Letter from a future prisoner
Posted: November 20, 2007
By Janet FolgerNov. 20, 2010
To the Resistance:
I’m writing this letter from prison, where I’ve been since the beginning of 2010. Since Hillary was elected in ‘08, Christian persecution in America has gotten even worse than we predicted.
When the so-called “Fairness Doctrine” was signed into law, my radio program was yanked off the air along with all the others that dared discuss moral issues on Christian radio. The networks just couldn’t bring themselves to air a pro-abortion program or one that advocates the homosexual agenda for the government mandated “balance” because broadcasting lies went against their basic beliefs – I don’t blame them.
We knew “Thought Crimes” was in danger of becoming law back when it passed Congress in 2007, but thankfully, President Bush kept his promise to veto it. But, tragically, Hillary signed that most dangerous bill in America – ushering in the criminalization of Christianity. And now, even my book, “The Criminalization of Christianity,” has been banned as “hate speech” just as I predicted when I wrote it back in 2005.
This Orwellian inversion of fact and language (a.k.a. H.B. 1592) was opposed by Folger’s one-woman operation, ‘Americans For Truth,’ through its ‘Stop Hate Crimes Now‘ campaign.
Similarly without any hint of irony or self-awareness, it was explained that the ‘Thought Crimes Bill,’ i.e. the ‘Hate Grandma Bill,’ was devised by homosexuals as a means of targeting elderly grandmothers.
When the “Employment Non-Discrimination Act” (“Thought Crimes” for the Workplace) became law, businesses and ministries were targeted by homosexual activists and were forced to close when they wouldn’t comply with a law forcing them to hire those opposed to their beliefs on moral issues.
This had happened before with the Burn Down Da Muh-Fuh Act of 1964, but so few black and Hispanic people were willing to hold down a job that America soon recovered. Also, all the feminist attorneys quit their jobs to become single welfare mothers (after the Kill All The Handsome, Financially Secure Men With Hair Act became law), so no one got sued for 27 million dollars anymore for saying “Hey, toots!” to their secretary or “Thanks, sweetie,” to the elevator girl.
Ah, but those were delicate times while they lasted. So often, it was humor alone that carried us through.
You: How do you greet a Native American?
Your Friend: How?
You: OMG, I’m turning you in!
[mutual nervous laughter]
Why, I can never help but smile when I remember the time when we… Oh, never mind.
When they canceled my program, banned my book and targeted my ministry, I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d be forced into “prison ministry” against my will. Unfortunately for our nation, that ministry is growing fast. A homeschooling mom was assigned the cell next to me. I try to comfort her, but she cries constantly at the thought of her kids being raised in government foster care.
Item: Someone dense enough to sit in prison and write tell-all letters addressed in plain English to ‘the Resistance’ is probably not a person with whom you’d be wise to share your secrets. On the other hand, this anecdote is lent a certain slice-of-life credibility by the fact that the woman who was assigned the cell next to Janet spends a lot of time crying.
The forced labor here makes me think that I should have done more for our brothers and sisters in China sent to labor camps for the crime of hosting a home church, or those imprisoned in every Muslim country for choosing Christ over Allah.
And all subjects of foreign states who are barred from citizenship because they refuse. . .um, ah, (heh heh).
We should have seen the writing on the wall when Yahoo turned over confidential searches to the Chinese government, sending people to prison, and when Google barred American Christian sites from its search engines as “haters.” Finding allied ministries is now almost impossible…
If only there were, for instance, any Christian ministries in the prisons.
Most didn’t see it coming. I try not to think about how the 2009 “Freedom of Choice Act” wiped out every single pro-life law from parental notice to the ban on partial birth abortion. And how “anti-reproductive rights” was added to the “Thought Crime” statute, which, like California before the election, means a year in jail if someone claims to feel “intimidated” by anything a pro-lifer might do – like express their beliefs in public.
I mean, we laughed when the loony liberals complained that the legal protections guaranteed in the Bill of Rights were being dismantled, but little did we realize that the legal protections guaranteed in the Bill of Rights were being dismantled…
But, like the homeschool mom in the cell beside me, I cry too. I cry mostly because it didn’t have to be this way. Just three years ago – in 2007 – we had a chance to unite and achieve our lifetime goals of restoring protection to children in the womb, and protecting our foundational relationship of marriage between a man and a woman. And now the…
…And the essay also featured several other paragraphs and a particularly self-entitled and reader-contemptuous bulleted list (even!) of Pastor Niemöller knockoff items. “First they came for George Santayana,” one finds oneself thinking, “But I did not remember the past, so, uh, first they came for George Santayana…”
Alas, but 2007 was a more optimistic time — a time when America still dared to dream. Janet returns to us a changed woman: The bandwagon of the candidate clearly anointed by God, Mike Huckabee, has run off the road, causing her hysterical animus against Mitt Romney and John McCain to mellow, even to a point at which she yanked her anti-McCain ads off the Web and acted like they were never there. She returns as Janet Porter, having presumably married someone named ‘Porter,’ and brings us an even more shocking, as well as a considerably more accurate vision of the fate that certainly awaits us, shall we continue our current rickety and steeply inclined soapbox derby. . .to Hell:
Sammy said,
October 22, 2008 at 2:53
Still snickering.
PeeJ said,
October 22, 2008 at 2:53
Oh noes! The future is where we’re going to spend most of our time!
maryc said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:01
Nothing is more pitiful and terrified than a bully who fears that she will finally be treated as she has treated others.
Jay B. said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:01
I got as far as 11 seconds.
Gavin M. said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:02
[fixed some typos, btw]
henry lewis said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:04
I was so expecting the Constitution to burst into flames.
Smut Clyde said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:06
Nothing is more pitiful and terrified than a bully who fears that she will finally be treated as she has treated others.
However, a golden retriever with an angry Siamese cat fastened onto the back of its head comes pretty close.
J— said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:08
I got as far as 11 seconds.
Then you missed the Osama bin Laden tape at 5:07!
Ah, but here it is. What luck!
mikey said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:10
Let’s see here.
The government, as represented by law enforcement and intleligence gathering organizations, have spent exactly how much time searching her domicile, interrogating her (with a BANG) and checking up on her contacts and background?
None? Nothing? Really?
That’s odd, because I have had ALL those things happen to me (oh by the way, you see those dumb as a box of hammers Mongols let not one, not two, but FOUR federal investigators pass all the systems and right into their organization? Hee hee, those doods never could find their ass with both hands and a flashlight, but I digress) and there’s never been a whole lot of doubt that if any americans were put in camps by americans, it would be liberal americans IN the camps and conservative americans GUARDING the camps, so your stupid whining seems hard to justify out here in the REAL world, you know, REAL america where if you want to be a liberal or secular they hate you and fuck around with you all the time.
Phew. Was that a sentence, or was that a sentence?
mikey
Gary Ruppert said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:13
The fact is, Mikey, if you are an anti-USA Hate America Leftist, you deserved it.
mikey said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:14
Fake Gary, I don’t hate America.
I just hate people like you…
Is this really so hard for you to get?
mikey
g said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:15
It was explained that the “Thought Crimes Bill,” i.e. the “Hate Grandma Bill,” was intended to target elderly grandmothers
Let the record show that my 82 year old mother – a grandmother and great grandmother – thinks Gay Marriage isn’t anything to worry about. And certainly not to ban.
Robert McClelland said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:16
That was hilarious. Who says conservatives can’t do humour.
Gary Ruppert said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:18
The facts is, Mikey, I don’t care. Here in the Heartland, you liberals are outnumbered, and we will put you in camps with joy to protect USA from danger. Your hate is divisive and biased.
J— said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:19
Clicking on Sound the Alarm Now, which posted the YouTube videos, takes you to the Government Is Not God Political Action Committee web site. GING-PAC formally supports McCain, if you’re wondering. GING-PAC explains how it makes its endorsements:
GING-PAC also endorses Michele Bachman, who is not anti-American.
Arky 4 That 1 said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:20
Dude. Why are you posting this weird lady’s bondage fantasies?
wasillasohawt44 said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:20
Okay, geewhiskers, so maybe I shouldn’t have said ‘the real America’.
How about this: there’s a right America and a wrong America.
Always with the gotcha, goshdurn it, mainstreet medias!
Ezzthetic said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:23
I don’t know who this “Thought-Crimes Bill” is, but he sounds like a dangerous criminal.
He must be stopped before he has the chance to target anymore elderly grandmothers.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:24
Just a few seconds into that little YouTube video (that was all I could take) reminded me of my favorite Firesign Theater album…
This is You TV, for you, the viewer…
The Howl of the Wolf News
Big light in sky slated to appear in east.
Sonic booms scare minority groups in Sector B.
And there’s hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.
Thank you. These are the headlines, and now for the rumors behind the news…
Righteous Bubba said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:25
This video informs me that a Muslim call to prayer occurs in Muslim countries. Can this be true?
Brandi said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:26
And as Ivan Stang once said, proof that some forms of fanaticism have exactly the same effect as methamphetmine.
henry lewis said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:30
Can this be true?
Yup. Loud and heavily distorted from a horn loudspeaker across the alley from your hotel room window at 5:15 in the morning.
PeeJ said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:31
I’m a pretty easy going guy as I work my through later middle age. I don’t get riled up anymore. Even when I was younger I wasn’t violent, not as much as most young men. Why is it then, that whenever Gary comments, I get the urge to track him down and do violence upon him?
And Gary? I know how to track you down. I designed some of that shit the no-such-agency spooks use to do just that sort of thing. I’m just saying.
PeeJ said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:34
PS – Gary, you don’t really want to get yer ass wupped by a jenyoowine fag, do ya now? That would be soooo embarassing.
Joe Max said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:35
“…and you and the viewers, Patty, will be interested to note that the world ended!”
“As we know it, Hugh.”
“Darn tootin’!”
“So who was born today, Patty?”
“Um, no one, Hugh.”
“I mean in history, Patty, before they changed the water…”
(Don’t get me started…)
Goober Peas said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:40
I find this so confusing. I thought that the Christianists wanted to be persecuted to earn extra stars in their heavenly crowns? Doesn’t long-suffering equal success in that brand of religion? What is she carping about then? And why didn’t Jeebus explode all those enemies of hers if she isn’t supposed to be suffering? This kind of weird story makes my head hurt!
Cain said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:43
Oh God, I remember this essay now, and wish I hadn’t.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:44
What The Fuck ?!
They’ve got fucking TIME TRAVEL in 2010. So fucking widespread, even PRISONERS get to fucking use it. Now I’m kinda sad that Hillary didn’t win the nomination – because that would have lead to a future where EVEN THOSE SOCIETY DEEMS MISCREANTS HAVE ACCESS TO TIME TRAVEL. Fuck, I wonder what the lib-tards get – the ability to transcend causality?
PeeJ said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:45
I can tell it’s not really from the future. I mean, there’s no Consitution left now so his abrogating the 2nd amendment proves this is not from the future.
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:46
Aha, I knew this stuff looked familiar.
Tim (The Other One) said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:48
First they came for the home-schooled and I said; “Yeah, cool, take ‘em. Take ‘em all..”
PeeJ said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:51
I do give credit however, for her including every freeptard meme. Or did she miss one? …. Hmm, nothing about his changing the constitution to allow foreign born presidents so I take those points back.
As you watch it, just keep reminding yourself how fear intensifies when vocalizing the things that one fears. That way the schaden is more freudalicious.
Lesley said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:54
Watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor chronicles I can’t help thinking McSkynet already exists and the earth has been flooded with stupid rightwing robots whose shameless unprecedented stupidity and unparalleled shittiness will not die no matter what.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:55
I can tell it’s not really from the future.
No, the thing’s called “Letter from a future prisoner”. I mean you wouldn’t want to accuse WorldNetDaily of just making things up.
And it totally holds true – after all in order for an Administration to:
Re-introduce the Fairness Doctrine while banning Christianity AND
Set-up forced labour camps and FUCKING MANAGED TO START THROWING CHINESE INTO THEM. That’s not Chinese-Americans – that’s Chinese IN CHINA.
It’d fucking need powers and abilities so mind boggling giving the recidivist anti-social outcasts TIME TRAVEL is no sweat off their noses.
mikey said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:55
Time travel?
What, you’re just figuring this shit out NOW?
After I’ve been telling you for YEARS that I have a large piece of Hadrisaur pelvis in my sock drawer with a fossilized .375 H&H Magnum slug buried in it?
Oh, goodness me. Time travelers! We’re all doomed!
Here’s the news, pal. Once they mastered time travel, all time became equal. There is time travel because there has ALWAYS been time travel because at some point in the distant future there WILL BE time travel.
Got it?
Goddam it, pay attention, because they could be here now-whatever “now” is…
mikey
Woodrowfan said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:56
that’s the guy they’re always trying to shoot in war movies when they say “Fire at Will!”
PeeJ said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:56
Good call, Sam. But apparently Janet doesn’t really believe the rapture is going to come and fix everything. Heretic bitch.
Tim (The Other One) said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:57
Can we apply the Fairness Doctrine to time travel ?
Arky 4 That 1 said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:57
Nope. Check the personals section of your friendly neighborhood independent paper. I don’t care where you live you’ll see an ad that begins: “Mr. Arty Peg Purr has been a baaad, baaad boy…”
That’s our friend Gary.
blowback said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:59
All these campaigns by the right are on a par with Nigerian “419″ scams – send out lots of e-mails claiming the government/progressives/the Borg/Clingons/ are persecuting you and then they sit back and wait for the morans to cough up large amounts of cash. I am not sure whether this should be encouraged to impoverish the wingnut base or discouraged it in the hope that the wingnuts spend more on educating their brats properly so that the wingnuts eventually disappear off the face of the earth,
Loneoak said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:59
Speaking of time travel, I bet McCain wants to take this one back.
If that’s a Fake Gary, I doff my hat. You are great at impersonating a right smarmy bastard.
If that’s Real Gary, you are a right smarmy bastard.
Lesley said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:59
If they’re going for all out paranoia why stop at prisons? Why wouldn’t we Islamofascistliberals put them to sleep FOREVER?
Prison is just wishful thinking on her part because hello parole! and time off for good behaviour and the potential to hold underground prayer meetings and shit.
Orange Tom said,
October 22, 2008 at 3:59
Yup. Loud and heavily distorted from a horn loudspeaker across the alley from your hotel room window at 5:15 in the morning.
Which is considerable more pleasant than being bunked next to church bells….
mikey said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:01
Oh, and if you own Mongol Colors, you better do two things.
First, burn ‘em and bury ‘em and find a new place to live.
And second? Second, hang your head in shame.
FOUR? FOUR federal agents with FOUR fake federal agent girlfriends infiltrated your Operation? Passed background checks? Got high, ran deliveries, hurt people? The “girlfriends” gave it out in a train here and there?
Oh, I can’t wait for this trial transcript. Idiots.
When I ran with the Outlaws, the Mongols had a rep for being stupid muscle. Glad to see that twenty years later, they haven’t evolved…
mikey
Lesley said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:04
Current variation of I was just following orders.”
In other news, torture-bill supporting Michael Ignatieff is gunning for the leadership of Canada’s liberal party.
Lesley said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:04
link didn’t take
Federal officials contributed indirectly to torture of Canadians: report
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/10/21/inquiry-iacobucci.html
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:05
Interesting how the start of her crazy labor camp nightmare is when Yahoo and Google start turning over search records. Seems Janet’s a big opponent of warrantless searches and unjustified invasions on privacy – except….
Here’s why it’s so easy for her to come up with these crazy scenarios. It’s just exactly what she would do to Muslims if she had the chance.
Hey Janet, you think that dystopian Thought Crime future is scary? Look in the fucking mirror. If we swapped God for Allah in your stupid story, you’d be calling it Heaven. So, in conclusion – go fuck yourself Janet Folger.
Fozzetti said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:06
They are sure scared of the Fairness Doctrine aren’t they? And yet, the USA existed, and prospered, before it was revoked, and the Crazy’s Took Over. Now Teh Crazys are scared they’ll be treated as they treated others.
blowback said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:08
come on lay off Gary (Fake or otherwise) – he is far too intelligent to be a wingnut.
Leonard Pierce said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:11
Wow, President Obama does all that in two days? Now that’s effective leadership! I want to vote for him even more now.
MzNicky said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:11
And as Ivan Stang once said …
Brandi: Are you sure that wasn’t Arnold Stang?
Fred Flintstone said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:16
I want to vote for him even more now.
I already did! Long live ACORN early voting!
Smiling Mortician said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:16
Was that you in the next room, henry? Sultanakhmet, August of ‘07? Just down from the Hagia Sofia? I thought you looked familiar.
MzNicky said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:18
Oh fer crissake. This is your basic Atwood “Handmaid’s Tale” done up masochistic wingnut style. Which, it goes without saying but I’ll say it anyway, of course is whiny, illiterate, obtuse, astoundingly self-pitying and totally misses the actual point. Stupid whinging nutters! Why oh why won’t they all just fucking die already? Okay, that was harsh.
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:18
They are sure scared of the Fairness Doctrine aren’t they?
Yup. I’m not sure bringing it back would actually make any difference – who decides what the views are that need to be represented equally? If it’s the network owners, the views would be e.g. “We need to bomb Iraq more” vs. “We’re bombing Iraq exactly the right amount”.
Smiling Mortician said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:22
Your hate is divisive and biased.
Now that’s just wrong. I like my hate unifying and open-minded.
dBa said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:25
Where were these time travelers 8 years ago?
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:30
Where were these time travelers 8 years ago?
Don’t you mean where will they be 8 years ago?
mikey said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:30
Where were these time travelers 8 years ago?
They were trying to warn us.
We suck….
mikey
Brandi said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:34
Brandi: Are you sure that wasn’t Arnold Stang?
Quite sure.
henry lewis said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:35
Not I, Mort.
Yogyakarta, Java, March of 2003 was me.
Marc said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:37
First they came for the home-schooled and I said; “Yeah, cool, take ‘em. Take ‘em all..”
AWESOME!! Love that.
Janet Folger’s “Letter From a Future Prisoner” is . . . is . . . I’m at a loss–there are no words for its maudlin awfulness. My pancreas hurts after reading it.
That video said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:47
“The Death to America Coalition”
You know what’s funny, all of these things will happen, because they will interpret the completely dull changes that take place as those catastrophes. And that’s what’s sad.
shaun said,
October 22, 2008 at 4:56
Did she just say that the ‘liberal’ media would rather shut down and go out of business than air the ‘liberal’ point of view? Logical consistency is not a wingnut strong point.
Me said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:01
I have this fantasy occasionally, where I’m this really put-upon guy, that everyone picks on, and they take away my rights and mock me, only they aren’t aware that I really have secret super powers, and one day I’m going to make them all pay.
Oh wait, that’s a combination of a Marvel comic book and fantasies I had when I was 12. What was I thinking? To confuse fantasy and reality like that, I’d have to be really fucking deluded, to the point of being psychotic. Who the hell would ever put something like that on the internet, where everyone can see how fucking crazy you are? Sorry about that, guys. Won’t happen again.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:06
Well, I made it to the three minute mark, where they had Michele Obama reading her favorite childrens story to some kids. “Can you say Weather Underground?” By Klono’s iridium spleen, these wingnuts are stoopid.
Incidentally, I think they should be mixing up some more of this tupid crap, all harping on socialism and Ayers and Wright. The american public loves that shit, just ask Michele Bachmann.
StringonaStick said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:16
Thorazine might be a great help to this woman. Bachman too.
A Different Jake H. said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:20
SamFromUtah,
That Chick tract is, how do you say, full of the win. I had to stop reading it because I was ROFL at the evangelist guy saying:
and then he continues with his rant. I just thought it was so very twisted to see the frantic death lust in these evangelicals displayed so openly and without irony. He’s “so excited”, like he’s selling Amway or Mary Kay, not this horrific end-times horror show they fap to.
A Different Jake H. said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:25
BTW, I rarely go to read the original essays, or watch much of these videos, but this one is actually quite worth watching to the end, if only because its amateurishness is bad enough to be amusing but not too distracting (haven’t they heard of lapel mics?) and because it’s so utterly incoherent and yet they believe it without question. It’s like “essence of Limbaugh sweat*” mixed with one of RB’s recipes.
* the latest refreshing soft drink beverage from Japan’s Otsuka Pharmaceutical Co., Ltd.
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:28
I had to stop reading it because I was ROFL at the evangelist guy saying…
It is some powerful awesome shit, for sure. Plus it was published in 1992, nearly a generation ago, so those end times need to get hurrying along!
My favorite line was “We inserted microchips to increase the pain!”
As a dabbler in electronics, I know that if you slip while handling a microchip and insert its sharp little legs into your fingertip instead of your circuit board, it is indeed very painful.
ice weasel said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:31
You know, it’s totally fucking pointless but I SO hope these nimrods really believe all this stupid, ridiculous shit that they right. I hope that each they shit themselves thinking that evil humanists are coming to persecute them.
I wish.
But they don’t believe this shit. It’s for the suckers. The donors.
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:37
I hope that each they shit themselves thinking that evil humanists are coming to persecute them.
I honestly don’t know how much of it they believe. Or how much of the “If Obama wins, niggers and Messkins gunna steal our jobs and wimminz!” crap is actually believed. But there must be people who do quiver with fear and poo themselves over the possibility.
How must it be to spend so much time freaking out over the possibility that other people are just like you?
pronounced throatwarblermangrove said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:39
Hey there fellow grubclusters! All this mentioning of the Firesign Theatre in this thread and Philip Berg in the thread downstairs. Now we know! Phil Berg got tired of writing comedy and now he’s LIVING comedy. He takes the retainers of crazy people for their crazy cases and annoys the actors (judges) oif our litigious society. All the world’s a stage.
ahem said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:45
GING-PAC also endorses Michele Bachman, who is not anti-American.
Or ginger. Unless she’s keeping it from us. [/brainbleach]
That video, though? Made o’FAIL.
PS said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:46
This Obama she speaks about in the video sounds much more appealing than the one on the TV — sort of Old-Testament eye-for-an-eye Obama, as opposed to that forgiving can’t-we-all-get-along character.
Any chance they’ll both be on the ballot?
Righteous Bubba said,
October 22, 2008 at 5:46
That video, though? Made o’FAIL.
TPM’s got a marvelous one of McCain being old and infirm up now.
ckc (not kc) said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:02
…can’t you at least exhibit Teh Funny
…perhaps recognition is your problem
Snorghagen said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:06
That’s right. Everything Janet Folger/Porter says is true.
Incidentally, you’ll be saddened to hear that on her website Janet states that her organization (such as it is) is very badly underfunded. She needs your donations if Western Civilization is to be saved. Give generously.
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:10
Give generously.
Actually, you should send those donations to me instead. As a liberal, I promise to keep persecuting God-fearing Christians as much as I ever have. Which is none, but without people like me in existence and prospering, the G-f Cs won’t feel as paranoid, which is their whole reason for being, and wouldn’t that suck?
Snorghagen said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:19
And you live in the west, so you must be in favor of Western Civilization.
Smiling Mortician said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:19
TPM’s got a marvelous one of McCain being old and infirm up now.
Holy shit that’s funny. And what’s even better is that he sounds just like this guy.
Mr. Wonderful said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:20
Mz. Nicky nails it with:
“This is your basic Atwood “Handmaid’s Tale” done up masochistic wingnut style. Which, it goes without saying but I’ll say it anyway, of course is whiny, illiterate, obtuse, astoundingly self-pitying and totally misses the actual point.”
These people live for self-pity. It’s what they have instead of masturbation, or during masturbation. It’s the deep structure of their religion. And aggrievement, the basis of their politics-of-self-pity, is its cognitive manifestation.
To this particular kind of Christian wingnut, self-pity is life itself, and even their sympathy for JC on the cross is just perfunctorily projected self-pity. “You mean if I feel sorry for myself enough, I’ll go to Heaven? Deal!”
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:22
And you live in the west, so you must be in favor of Western Civilization.
I’m in favor of both kinds of civilization – country AND western!
Quaker in a Basement said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:56
I wish these people would hurry up and realize that it doesn’t matter how many Republicans they support or elect. None of them is going to keep all the promises they make to dupe the religious right into voting for them.
I mean, after the first 600 times, it’s just not that funny to watch them fall for it again.
Bony Baloney said,
October 22, 2008 at 6:58
M-W-F: Oh God oh God oh God, we’re so screwed. They’re beyond even trying to hide it anymore. There’s no longer time to attack Iran, so they’re sacking the Treasury instead. “If someone had told me eight years ago….” So are we ever gonna catch OBL, or empty out Gitmo, or even leave Iraq, or what?
T-Th: Zee conspiracy, zee worse case scenario, eet is amusement like zee Jerry Lewis! Silly Beel-of-Rights fanbois, look at zem dampening zee trousers! Alors, Paultard, wake me up when international finance is zee collapse, wis zee printing of worthless paper, non? You have troops quartered in your maison, oui? It is to laugh at zee panic monkeys!
Sa-Su: American media plays pocket pool; foreign media pounds the living hell out of U.S. policy and waves their private parts at our aunties; German bankers blow steam out of their ears.
That about cover it?
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 7:03
I mean, after the first 600 times, it’s just not that funny to watch them fall for it again.
Yeah, but I’d rather they kept falling for it instead of getting their own candidates alarmingly close to power – like Huckabee and Palin. That’s some creepy shit.
anthony said,
October 22, 2008 at 8:07
The time for the right-wing Kiss of the Spider Woman is now.
bago said,
October 22, 2008 at 10:40
Fire at Will!
No wonder the Enterprise was always under attack.
rama said,
October 22, 2008 at 10:51
She forgot to mention that in the Christian Internment Camps the Liberal Commandant blasts Belle and Sebastian into the cells at all hours of the day and night.
not funny said,
October 22, 2008 at 12:00
Criminalization of Christianity?
Fap, fap, fap, fap….
Arky 4 That 1 said,
October 22, 2008 at 13:01
It’s like the last X-Files “movie.” Some unwashed wild-eyed pervert runs around spouting gibberish and the Mulders of the fRight want to believe.
Daniel said,
October 22, 2008 at 13:25
I’m always amazed at their capacity for deluded persecution fantasies. They’ve gotten everything they wanted for eight years, and still they act like they’re being loaded onto trains. When Obama does get elected, their gibbering will be intolerable.
Actually that’ll be great fun to watch. Wish I still lived in Utah.
No, I don’t.
Still. Remember ‘92? Good times…
Gundamhead said,
October 22, 2008 at 14:32
Jesus that video… Crazy, delusional, persecution complex suffering Godbots should never try to do satire.
A few of my favorite moments
“Obama’s supporters in Hamas, Hezbollah, Islamic Jihad and the Muslim Brotherhood…” nuf said. Scary Hussein coming to get you, honky!
The clip of Jeremiah Wright doing a scary Negro dance. Scary black man is scary!!!
The SOCIALISM graphic of a guy holding a gun on another guy with a sack of money. The DRAMATIC! closeup when they were talking about Obama’s healthcare plan was a nice touch. Lazy, shiftless black man gangsta steal yo monnah!!!
O.K. I can’t watch anymore right now. So. Fucking. Stupid. rrrg
phleabo said,
October 22, 2008 at 14:33
I’m frankly a little surprised that they didn’t manage to work the phrase “kill whitey” into that video. It’s an amateurish oversight.
That said, I hope the 1/2 hour of TV time Obama bought is dedicated to showing that on a loop. I’m voting for him like 8 or 9 hundred times now.
SamFromUtah said,
October 22, 2008 at 16:29
When Obama does get elected, their gibbering will be intolerable.
The whining is really annoying, but nowhere near as annoying as the triumphalism when they win. 2002 about killed me.
The Right, in a nutshell, said,
October 22, 2008 at 17:23
SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Mooser said,
October 22, 2008 at 18:41
Nothing is more pitiful and terrified than a bully who fears that she will finally be treated as she has treated others.
Maryc
Aw, c’mon Mary! You don’t know what this Mr. Porter is really like. He might be a nice guy!
Mooser said,
October 22, 2008 at 18:50
About the “Mongols”, are you people going to believe me now when I tell you that only an idiot rides a motorcycle with his feet in front of his head.
Anybody with any experience would immediately say : “How the hell can I ride this thing? I can’t shift my weight (by un-weighting the seat and moving my butt) and I can’t control the bike properly!”
Anytime you see somebody riding a bike with their feet in front of their head (a “cruiser” or HELOC-Davidson) you are watching a person much too stupid to be riding a bike. Disaster awaits them. You can count on it.
Mooser said,
October 22, 2008 at 18:56
I’m in favor of both kinds of civilization – country AND western!
Wow! Wish I’d said that! And I wish I said, as a commenter at Yglesias’ website said, when learning of Ms. Palin’s $150,000 clothing bill paid by the RNC. “She’s a one-woman earmark!”
But I’m not that witty.
Robert said,
October 22, 2008 at 23:00
Wasn’t this covered in the comic book series “LiberALIty For All” a few years ago? And didn’t it hit the popular culture with all the force and impact of a cottonball dropped into the Grand Canyon from a hot air balloon?
The propensity of the RWNM* to bleat about their imminent oppression by the forces of Teh Left is exceeded only by the fondness for extremist Christianists to perceive themselves as oppressed by a ruthlessly secular cultural ascendency.
*Right Wing Noise Machine
Spiders Everywhere said,
October 23, 2008 at 2:20
I think The Last Generation is my favorite Chick track, though it’s hard to top Dark Dungeons. I think what puts LG over the top is the frenzy of detail, from the New Age Healer’s lovingly rendered package to the simple FREE DRUGS printed above the the One World Government logo. It’s like a peek into the mind of the guy mumbling at the bus stop, without all the hygiene issues.
Rosebuddear said,
October 23, 2008 at 3:18
Srsly, that’s really not a joke video?
Personally, I sorta like that view of the future. The wingnut heads exploding would be way enough for me.
Janet Whatsername, Amurkan Patriot (whatever happened to Murkan Patriot, late of lovely blogosphere snark, anyway?)
Also, SamfromUtah you are my new hero, for that line, “I’m in favor of BOTH kinds of civilization – country AND Western”.
Lolololol!
I can’t wait to watch these people go down the tubes on Election Day.
Pere Ubu said,
October 23, 2008 at 4:08
What the hell are all you people doing up? Don’t you know we have to get to bed so we can get up at 3 am to unleash curses on McCain/Palin? Shoddy, shoddy work here, compadres!
SamFromUtah said,
October 23, 2008 at 5:17
Also, SamfromUtah you are my new hero, for that line, “I’m in favor of BOTH kinds of civilization – country AND Western”.
Don’t thank me! Thank Jake & Elwood.
Doctorb said,
October 23, 2008 at 5:30
Is that 3 AM local time? Zulu time? Is it okay if I just unleash curses on them before I go to bed? I mean, er, “imprecatory prayers”:
O great and mighty one or more Gods, or fewer, I seek revenge on Sarah Palin and also Rachel Ray of the Food Network. Please see fit in (your/thy)(choose one or more: wisdom, anger, need for flattery, or desire to obtain precious goat-fat smoke) to cause Governor Palin to say stupid, stupid things in public, that she may look like a ridiculous ass.