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Life Imitates Simpsons
You guys remember that Simpsons episode where the teachers went on strike and the school hired Jasper as a scab? And remember how funny it was because Jasper made a list of offenses that warranted “a paddlin’?” And remember how we all laughed because it seemed like such an arcane and backward punishment?
Well, laugh no more, ’cause one Ohio school district has hired an army of Jaspers:
County School District Reinstates Corporal Punishment, Sees Positive Results
By Jim Brown
April 25, 2005(AgapePress) - One Ohio community is reaping the benefits of overwhelmingly approving paddling as another form of punishment in schools.
Pike County Schools banned paddling back in 1993. However, after receiving strong backing from members of the community, corporal punishment is back in use. Pete Dunn, the principal of Western Elementary School in Latham, says since paddling was reinstated, misbehavior among students has declined substantially.
The principal notes that students are not paddled for misbehavior if their parents do not approve of corporal punishment. But he explains that “well over half” of the parents of the students at his school have agreed that they want that as a form of punishment, and have signed a waiver giving him permission to spank their children if they misbehave. That, Dunn says, has led to fewer problems in the classroom.
I just give up.
ani said,
April 26, 2005 at 20:35
Maybe if the parents tried being parents now and then, they wouldn’t need other people to discipline their children.
Goldberg said,
April 26, 2005 at 20:57
Paddlin’ the school canoe, that’s a paddlin’.
Jeff said,
April 26, 2005 at 21:09
Got my be-hind whupped a couple times in school in the 70s and 80s, many many years ago. But worse than that by far was the loss of privileges at home that would follow.
Dad only ever used his belt on me once, and I asked for that, when I told him to shut up.
Dad was an elementary school principal, and saw 1st-hand that the kids who most needed stern discipline were frequently the ones whose parents would march in and scream at him for touching little Johnny or Vicki. Educators have one of the hardest jobs in the world.
Matt said,
April 26, 2005 at 21:51
You were lucky. When we were young, we would get hit upside the head with a manure-filled sock 8 times. Then we’d go home and Dad would cover us in ants.
Frederick said,
April 26, 2005 at 22:24
You’re surprised by this? Twenty-three of the 50 states allow corporal punishment of students (although some districts within those states ban it): http://www.stophitting.com/disatschool/facts.php
Floyd Flanders said,
April 26, 2005 at 22:46
Some of those kids just need a good application of the Minnesota Spankological Protocol.
Les Wynin said,
April 26, 2005 at 23:26
You were lucky. When we were young, we would get hit upside the head with a manure-filled sock 8 times. Then we’d go home and Dad would cover us in ants.
Luxury.
Back in my day, the punishment for acting up was three hours with the milk machine that doesn’t stop until it gets 50 gallons.
Most of us didn’t last half that long before we passed out.
Vladi G said,
April 26, 2005 at 23:54
Speaking of Corporal Punishment and the Simpsons, don’t forget that Corporal Punishment is part of the cast of Krusty’s show.
Sandman said,
April 26, 2005 at 23:55
Is this going to degenerate into another rendition of the “Three Yorkshiremen” sketch, or what?
Yeah, I got paddled in elementary school. I also got paddled^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hparented at home. And I didn’t end up going on any shooting sprees.
It’s amazing what happens when people actually take responsibility for their spawn every once in a while.
Boofus McGoofus said,
April 27, 2005 at 3:18
The link should be:
http://headlines.agapepress.org/archive/4/252005g.asp
Honey said,
April 27, 2005 at 6:23
Fucking perverts.
Yosef said,
April 27, 2005 at 15:41
“Back in my day, the punishment for acting up was three hours with the milk machine that doesn’t stop until it gets 50 gallons.”
Oh yeah? Well at my school I was drawn and quartered on 5 separate occasions!
Ironicus said,
April 27, 2005 at 16:44
Ah yes, the ever popular “board” of education. We remember it well. Unfortunately, and despite what the applicators told you about the applicees, it wasn’t, and isn’t the panacea it’s sold to be. As my old daddy used to say about his childhood, “A whuppin’ don’ make you better, it makes you sneakier.” A wise man that.
Ironicus
http://ironicusmaximus.blogspot.com
Anonymous said,
April 27, 2005 at 17:04
Oh yeah? Well at my school I was drawn and quartered on 5 separate occasions!
Like the boy named Sue, it made you tough, Yosef. And that’s why you’re the hottest (and limbless!) conservative writer on the Internets.
Brad R. said,
April 27, 2005 at 17:05
Ooop that last comment was mine.
sickduck said,
April 27, 2005 at 17:17
?You were lucky. When we were young, we would get hit upside the head with a manure-filled sock 8 times. Then we’d go home and Dad would cover us in ants.
Luxury.
Back in my day, the punishment for acting up was three hours with the milk machine that doesn’t stop until it gets 50 gallons.
Most of us didn’t last half that long before we passed out.?
Pshaw! You guys were coddled. My Dad would slit our throats and send our corpses to Ouagadougou and we had to walk home shoeless in the snow!
mds said,
April 27, 2005 at 17:17
Yeah, I got paddled in elementary school. I also got paddled^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hparented at home. And I didn’t end up going on any shooting sprees.
Yeah, I got spanked at home, though my parents were dead-set against delegating out corporal punishment to the school. And I didn’t end up going on any shooting sprees. Though I was renowned for my disruptive behavior at one time.
My wife was never spanked at home. And she didn’t end up going on any shooting sprees. And she was generally well-behaved in school.
Gee, it’s almost like there might not be any meaningful correlation between corporal punishment and moral behavior.
ts said,
April 27, 2005 at 17:52
We’ll show him, especially for that “purple monkey dishwasher” remark.
The colors, children!
vampgirl666 said,
April 27, 2005 at 22:04
Maybe parents should try raising their swawn properly once in a while. Then they wouldn’t need other people (such as teachers)to use the paddle.
Vestal Vespa said,
April 28, 2005 at 0:16
Hitting the little shits won’t do any good at this point. I think that we probabaly just need to back off the “you are all precious unique little snowflakes” philosophy that took over in the 80s and 90s when I was growing up.
I remember getting beaten up with some frequency by a girl in middle school who said she was in a gang. When I reported it, the administration not only accused me of racism but told me that they were reluctant to discipline a girl who’s father was in jail on assault charges. These kind of kids aren’t going to benefit much from a spank on the ass, but they get even less from being told daily how special they are and how the school functions as a place to boost their self-esteem.
A happy medium, please!
Pepper said,
April 28, 2005 at 3:00
Precious unique little snowflakes. Bleah. Any kid who buys that deserves an F. (But an A for effort, ha ha ha!)
Back in Kentucky, where I went to school the teachers sure did love that paddle … but it was always the same kids getting licked over and over again. They also turned out to be the kids with the most screwed-up parents. (the very worst child’s parents had a home full of dead animals, i kid you not) So they’d get whupped at home AND at school.
I don’t know if corporal punishment helps or not - I like the argument above that there’s no correlation.
I have a better idea! Why don’t we just paddle the parents instead?
blogsy mcblog said,
April 28, 2005 at 22:11
People who spank often have sexual problems; they don’t like the lack of control that interpersonal sexual encounters bring, and they are often have mediocre reproductive organs. It sounds like over half of the parents in Latham fit that description. What kind of bullies apply corporal punishment on elementary school children, who are usually too small to fight back? I would have liked to see my midwestern hick high school try to “apply” corporal punishment to me. That would have resulted in some severe negativity for all involved.
WoodrowFan said,
April 29, 2005 at 13:35
Hell, I dated that milk machine for 3 years in college! good times!
suburban refugee said,
April 29, 2005 at 19:12
Sooner or later, there’s going to be a kid who enjoys a good ass-paddling.
Anne said,
April 30, 2005 at 4:25
Blogsy, IIRC the high amount of spankings in British boys’ schools in the Victorian era led to a huge underground world of spanking fetishes among men of the time.
Anne said,
April 30, 2005 at 4:27
Doh. I read “People who spank often have sexual problems” and got distracted, thinking it said “people who are spanked.”
Way to read, Anne….
Yamantaka said,
April 30, 2005 at 16:38
At least they haven’t confiscated everything made of tin.