Cheers
Alan Burkhart

Well, to be fair:

1) It’s not actually a “communist memo”, it’s a list produced by an anti-communist in 1957 or so.

2) It’s a familar tactic, as I’ve noted. Basically, you take a list of the goals or charaterisitcs of one moment and attribute them to another, frex the “lists of the signs of fascism” which just happen to exactly synch up with the Bush Administration.

3) I myself have, in a hackish mood, referenced the list in the past, as I inadvertently discovered while researching it.

A: “One of the defining principles of modern liberalism is the belief that We The People are entitled to have certain guarantees from government.”

What?s wrong with life, liberty and property and due process of law?

A:”These guarantees generally revolve around the receipt of a monthly check. According to the Left, we should be guaranteed healthcare, a paid retirement, and a safety net in the event that we lose a job, become addicted to heroin, or grow too fat to work.”

Yes, Alan is quite fat – but note – NOT TOO FAT TO WORK – as long as your definition of ?work? excludes ?moderate physical activity? but includes ?light lifting of up to 5 pounds of Stouffer?s Jalapeno Poppers?.

A:”What happens when you simply have no more to give? Maybe it reaches a point where government has taken so much of your wage that you can’t pay your property taxes. Uh oh…”

Or maybe you reach the point where the government forces Alan to sell off his toenail clippings to space aliens who are harvesting them to clone an army of Alans to consume the spread of Potato People on the third moon of Zenobia. I mean, y’know, long as we’re speculating.

A: “A guarantor must possess adequate protected capital to provide the uninterrupted and punctual delivery of whatever is being guaranteed.”

One sentence, nineteen words, more than half of 3 or more syllables – one weighing in at 5 – folks, we have a winner!

A:”We are being conquered from within just as surely as Lenin predicted that we would.”

Wow! Lenin’s like Jeane Dixon, but preserved! What did Lenin have to say about who?s hot in the third race at Belmont tonight?

A:”It has become incorrect to rely upon God for our needs.”

OK – that’s mostly our fault, but let’s be fair here. Since He cut off the hot n? cold running manna, you know, we?ve had to find other ways to scrape by.

A:”You can draw a direct parallel between the decline of our culture and our migration away from God.”

What?s all this decline of culture I?m always reading about? What has declined, exactly? Did common people used to quote Shakespeare while wittily debating the latest translation of Dostoyevsky, back in the old days?

A:”We are allowing this to happen because it’s being done incrementally. We’ve all heard the old story about the frog and the boiling water: Drop the frog in boiling water and he’ll instantly hop out of the pot. But put the frog in cool water, heat it gradually, and he’ll boil to death before he realizes he’s in trouble.”

Reduce to a simmer until soft, salt to taste, serve with lime wedges. Next up: Alan?s tips for roasting toads. It?s been a while since we?ve had an old fashioned toad roastin? round these parts!

A:”Back when the Republican Party was synonymous with Conservatism . . . .”

Ah, back then, when men were men, boys were boys, and Joe McCarthy could get J. Edgar Hoover to set him up with either.

A:”As stated above, guarantees can only come from someone who has an unending supply of whatever is being guaranteed.”

Alan can guarantee a lifetime supply of bullshit, apparently.

Yes, if history teaches us anything, it teaches us that religious zealots are the most likely group to carry the banner of civil liberties forward.

“You shall have no other gods before Me.”

and

27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with “social” religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a “religious crutch.”

Does one sound a whole lot worse than the other? Well personally I much prefer the second one because it encourages intellectual maturity which is generally good for a society.

TOAD-STEWERS UNITE FOR FREEDOM!!!

Combine this with the Left’s ongoing attempt to purge Christianity from our society.

Conveniently forgetting that there ARE liberal Christians in this country.

Almost daily we hear about the ACLU or some other leftist organization suing over religious symbols, religious practices, or religious speech.

Conveniently forgetting the many cases where the ACLU has worked to PROTECT religious freedom.

It has become backwards to profess our faith in the God that our forefathers worshipped without question.

And…

It is the fact of our Christian heritage that makes us great,

And finally…

If we take a stand now, we can place our nation back upon the path that our Founding Fathers blazed for us.

Forgetting (or ignorant to?) the fact that many of the founders were not Christians, but Deists. They did not worship the Judeo-Christian God. I think Thomas Jefferson and George Washington and Thomas Paine would like to have a few words with Alan. Heck, the fella should just read ‘The Age of Reason’–which you can buy in book form or read online for free! Oh, and there’s Article 11 in the Treaty of Tripoli, not to mention the First Amendment itself, and Jefferson’s letter to the Danbury Baptists.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of “Spot the Fallacies that the ‘Sadly, No!’ Panel Missed!” :)

Aha! Alan is a Commie! I knew it!

Redistributing wealth does not equal the creation of new wealth. It is instead a continual spreading of the aforementioned finite resources. And those resources are being spread more thinly by the day.

Only God can guarantee anything to anyone because only He can create by sheer force of will. But God doesn’t always make it easy.

I never knew that God was in the business of printing money through the sheer force of His will. I wish he’d print me some.

Ow!

I think that was too too too much for me….