Oct
17

BALDRICK: Pity They Nicked All The Presents…*




Posted at 6:07 by Gavin M.

Shorter Gay Patriot West:

The Coming Conservative Renaissance

  • Yes, but I thought you and I would be spoilt enough with [holding up a devotional photo of Sarah Palin] the turkey, and [switching the TV to FOX News] this mountain of nuts we have.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

* Cf.

36 Comments »

  1. a different brad said,

    October 17, 2008 at 6:26

    Conservative Agenda:

    1. Reduced influence in a country where a clear majority finds us to be at least discredited, if not batshit crazy.

    2. ? ? ?

    3. Profit!

  2. Orange Tom said,

    October 17, 2008 at 6:31

    Well, since they’re gonna go through this change, they ought to man up and admit that they aren’t “Conservatives” any more (unless they’re paleos). What are they? Seriously, you’d have to consult some textbook in neurological disorders to come up with a proper term.

  3. Gavin M. said,

    October 17, 2008 at 6:32

    Updated a bit. (I had the terrible suspicion that no one would get the joke.)

  4. acrannymint said,

    October 17, 2008 at 6:32

    OT: McCain finally shows up on Letterman – the band plays “I can’t explain” as he comes in.

  5. buskertype said,

    October 17, 2008 at 6:34

    I’ve argued that we haven’t had a conservative president since at least 2006

    I’ve argued that there are more Grizzly Bears in New Jersey than in Alaska (I was really drunk) but it didn’t get me anywhere.

  6. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    October 17, 2008 at 6:37

    We changed presidents in 2006?!?

    Someone should have told me.

  7. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 17, 2008 at 7:05

    Conservative Movement, I have watched Alec Guinness, I have marvelled at Alec Guinness. And you are no Obi Wan Kenobi.

  8. Justicio Fidelis said,

    October 17, 2008 at 7:20

    Conservative Movement is, however, a movement. A big, steaming, pile of movement.

  9. Lesley said,

    October 17, 2008 at 7:21

    Should McCain lose, they will becoming increasingly powerful. Expect Rush’s audience to soar. Even our readership will increase, as gays who become disgusted with how the national gay groups fawn over a Democratic president (as did HRC over Clinton in the 1990s), will be looking for a place where their views are articulated.

    He must be the only gay in the village who is also a homophobe.

  10. Lesley said,

    October 17, 2008 at 7:26

    Better

  11. ev said,

    October 17, 2008 at 7:42

    Gay Republicans are sort of like Jewish Nazis. You just gotta wonder what’s really going on.

  12. Canadian Moonbat with tongue hinged the middle said,

    October 17, 2008 at 7:42

    I hope I’ll shut up soon. But I probably won’t.

  13. SJohn said,

    October 17, 2008 at 7:53

    Gay Republicans are great in the sack, though. They’re so repressed everywhere else, but just shove a big dick up their butts & they’re all “Regulation must be the cornerstone of any capitalist market!” and “The measure of a great society is the manner in which it treats the least of its members!”

    It’s almost embarrassing.

  14. Five of Diamonds said,

    October 17, 2008 at 8:07

    Should McCain lose, they will becoming increasingly powerful.

    Hah! Victory is mine!

  15. Tehanu said,

    October 17, 2008 at 9:36

    a different brad said,

    October 17, 2008 at 6:26

    Conservative Agenda:

    Baldrick doesn’t have an agenda. He has a cunning plan.

  16. Mentis Fugit said,

    October 17, 2008 at 10:06

    Conservative Movement, I have watched Alec Guinness, I have marvelled at Alec Guinness. And you are no Obi Wan Kenobi.

    Obi Wrong Kenobi

  17. Arky 4 That 1 said,

    October 17, 2008 at 12:57

    And he finds it particularly ironic because he has a thingy shaped just like a turnip.

  18. JoeBuddha said,

    October 17, 2008 at 14:50

    Is it too early to hail the birth of the Post Neo-Conservative Movement?

  19. Fanny Batter said,

    October 17, 2008 at 15:21

    Are those t-shirts for sale somewhere?

  20. Nimrod Gently said,

    October 17, 2008 at 15:23

    Eagerly awaiting arrival of Denis Lil and Queen Victoria to leave them with nothing at all.

  21. J— said,

    October 17, 2008 at 15:34

    Failure is fortifying.

  22. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 17, 2008 at 15:41

    Mr. Log Cabin does raise an interesting point. The leading voices of the conservative movement are rabble-rousers that would thrive being in opposition – recall Big Pharma’s lament about carrying water for Boosh.

    But here’s (one of the many places) where I think he’s dead wrong – I think this is actually going to do more harm to those fuckers. Seriously, what is Rush or Bill O gonna do? Rant and rail, and of course – move further to the right. That’s their MO. And all the ancilliary operations? Well with the GOP out of power, wingnut welfare’s gonna start getting awful scarce.

    Maybe I’m too optimistic, but the “conservative renaissance” he’s talking about is more likely going to be about Blue Dog Dems switching so that they can be big fish in a little pond. The new “right wing” will probably be centered around positions similar to Lieberman’s. There’s a reason why our agenda is called “progressive” – we’re moving further and further away from the Dark Ages.

  23. Righteous Bubba said,

    October 17, 2008 at 15:56

    For no good reason:

    Anticipating John McCain’s defeat (which I am not yet ready to concede), many, particularly on the left, contend that the conservative movement which enjoyed its heyday in the 1980s with Ronald Reagan’s Administration and in the 1990s with a Republican Congress, will finally come to an end.

    What these doomsayers* miss is that, in many ways, the conservative movement is now stronger than it ever was.

    Okay, the people you describe – particularly on the left – are not doomsayers. Perhaps you’re kidding, ha ha. I charge you with insincerity! What does the asterisk reveal?

    *The temptation to use the expression “Cassandras” was strong, but I did not want to contribute to the misunderstanding of this myth. She was not a doomsayer. Apollo had given her the gift of prophecy, but when she rebuked his advances, he wanted to punish her. Since an Olympian could not withdraw a gift once granted, he instead gave her a different “gfit,” that of never being believed.

    If the jape does not gfit, I must acquit. You sir, are fucked up.

  24. henry lewis said,

    October 17, 2008 at 15:59

    Well with the GOP out of power, wingnut welfare’s gonna start getting awful scarce.

    You think the secretive bastard billionaires will stop funding the “”think tanks”"? (Yes, those are extra quote marks.)

    I don’t.

  25. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 17, 2008 at 16:01

    You think the secretive bastard billionaires will stop funding the “”think tanks””?

    I did admit to the possibility of being too optimistic.

  26. actor212 said,

    October 17, 2008 at 16:06

    Look, it took Democrats nearly thirty years, from the defeat of Carter, through the nearly three decades without a Democratic president and losing the Congress fifteen years ago, to regenerate with a message and candidate that could win this thing and usher in an new progressive era.

    Gay Patriot West? Your party’s toast for a while. Might as well get used to it.

  27. actor212 said,

    October 17, 2008 at 16:07

    You think the secretive bastard billionaires will stop funding the “”think tanks””?

    No, but they will start being a lot more particular as to which wingnuts receive money.

    I think The Corner and its ilk are history.

  28. rotten mcdonald said,

    October 17, 2008 at 16:17

    <i.. Expect Rush’s audience to soar

    yeah, but they’re just gonna want to hear “2112″

  29. rotten mcdonald said,

    October 17, 2008 at 16:18

    sweet jebus, give me caffeine, did I ever fack up those tags…

  30. The Goddamn Batman Has Had To Confront Some Facts About Himself And His Relationship With His "Ward" said,

    October 17, 2008 at 17:26

    In other news, self-hating homosexuals have unrealistic expectations of the people that have milked the anti-gay-marriage movement for all it’s worth.

  31. Davis said,

    October 17, 2008 at 17:52

    He thinks that right-wing talk radio other than Rush is a recent phenomenon.

  32. John D. said,

    October 17, 2008 at 18:49

    Baldrick: “Mr. B., I have a cunning plan to solve John McCain’s problems!”

    Blackadder: “Yes, Baldrick, but let us not forget the cunning plan you came up with to solve the problem of your mother’s low ceiling by cutting off her head!”

  33. fluffybunnyfeet said,

    October 17, 2008 at 20:43

    “Updated a bit. (I had the terrible suspicion that no one would get the joke.)”

    Well, you DID have that “booze-up tonight” to get us all primed.

    Keep it up, keep it up – our world can only be bettered by more and better Blackadder refs!

  34. jim said,

    October 17, 2008 at 21:39

    Failure is fortifying.

    I think the GOP is about to get the living shit fortified out of it.

    Just look at the Chump-In-Chief they’re trying to replace as El Commandante. They’d've had a rough time winning with a Jesus/Gandhi ticket this year – & they went with Krusty The Clown & Thelma.

  35. Steph said,

    October 18, 2008 at 0:32

    If I had $700 dollars, I’d go buy a giant turnip in the country.

  36. Tehanu said,

    October 18, 2008 at 1:54

    If you had $700 billion dollars, you could buy a giant turnip on Wall Street.

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