Comments on: More Choice Swankery

By: pope

pope — Wed, 13 Apr 2005 04:54:38 +0000

oh yeah, Catholics can say fuck, too! and drink and gamble (bingo!), and dance. We can fuck as long as we don’t use a condom. Except me, because I’m the

By: pope

pope — Wed, 13 Apr 2005 04:53:12 +0000

I wish that all these fake Christians would shut the fuck up about Catholicism. We’re the original. The rest of you are sad, stupid, fucked up quitters and liars. So shut the fuck up.

Now!

By: Behind the Curtain

Behind the Curtain — Wed, 13 Apr 2005 04:43:57 +0000

Therefore, these evangelicals hold the prophetic time line to the present moment mainly. They say this: The Pope was a man who was on our evangelical side on moral issues. He held to biblical doctrinal basics just as evangelicals do.

The same evangelicals who claim Catholics aren’t Christian? The same anti-Semites who suddenly support Israel because it fulfills their skewed interpretation of the End Times? Any wonder I so detest these fucking hypocrites?

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 20:18:09 +0000

Merlallen-
Yes.

By: merlallen

merlallen — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 17:31:04 +0000

Should I delete super happy whatever the fuck from my bookmarks?

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 14:54:45 +0000

Can we just clarify? Just because a man gets married doesn’t mean he is any less likely to molest children.

Right, but what I mean is a lotta men shy away from becoming priests in the church because they can’t get married. This is what Clinton meant when he said the Pope enforced very conservative theological donctrine that left the church with a let loss of priests over his reign.

If the church let their priests marry, it’d give them a broader selection of people to choose from and would make weeding out bad apples (rather than just, say, transferring them to another parish) a lot easier.

By: Kristy

Kristy — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 12:40:08 +0000

“So if the New Pope takes Bill Clinton’s advice and changes church doctrine to allow priests to marry, he’s likely working for Satan, because taking action to attract more non-child-molesting men to the priesthood is clearly against God’s will.”

Can we just clarify? Just because a man gets married doesn’t mean he is any less likely to molest children. Men don’t molest children becuase they’re denied sex (i.e. priests), men and women molest children because they’re seriously fucked up in the head. There happens to be a (relatively) high percentage of priests that are child molesters because it’s the perfect place for a molester to meet children and earn their confidence. Plus they get more press since they’re supposed to be all holy and shit.

Just wanted to clairify. Lots of married men (and women) molest children all the time.

By: Hysterical Woman

Hysterical Woman — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 10:33:40 +0000

Clinton’s Legacy? Peace and ecomomic prosperity! I mean, hanky-panky!

By: Vestal Vespa

Vestal Vespa — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 08:37:04 +0000

When Clinton faces the great white light of Truth Christ, may he have confessed his tawdry earthly witness, repented of his evil ways, and clung humbly to the forgiving, bloody cloak of Savior Christ.

What is it with Clinton and (literally) dirty laundry? Get the poor man a couple of scoops of OxyClean.

By: FlipYrWhig

FlipYrWhig — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 05:17:23 +0000

When Clinton faces the great white light of Truth Christ, may he have confessed his tawdry earthly witness, repented of his evil ways, and clung humbly to the forgiving, bloody cloak of Savior Christ.

Don’t mess with the Christ Brothers. One shines that light in your face, and the other one has a cloak full of blood! It’s kind of like highway troopers at an accident scene. The accident FROM HELL!

I said to the fellow I was visiting: “How quaint. Is that man paid something for overseeing the children in that corner over there?” [...] The corner was filled with castoff toys.

Um, Pastor Magoo, those are dolls, not children.

By: thedarkbackward

thedarkbackward — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 05:10:29 +0000

“And in prison using one’s imagine goes on a lot on a variety of themes.”

As a wiser man than me once said…

“You don’t know what words MEAN do you?”

By: Brad R.

Brad R. — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 04:54:48 +0000

“Also, whats up with superhappyfunblog? Are you letting it die alone in the cold now that you’re getting famous at S,N!? Or is the server just down?”

Hemlock- my free trial with Typepad is up. Now that I have S,N! I’d rather just blog here than actually, you know, PAY anyone ;-)

By: Hemlock Echo

Hemlock Echo — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 04:47:34 +0000

OK, that’s the greatest sentence in the history of the English language right there. I should quit my writing career right now…

Brad, you are right. Swank-top is a master of language. I’ve never heard the word “Backslidden” in my life and haven’t heard “to the max” in at least 15 years.

Also, whats up with superhappyfunblog? Are you letting it die alone in the cold now that you’re getting famous at S,N!? Or is the server just down?

Also also, have you ever seen any of Swank’s poetry?

By: Ueberscheisse

Ueberscheisse — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 04:34:23 +0000

Aw, Tish and Tosh.

We all know the False Prophet and the AntiChrist are Bush & Rove. And I’d like to prove that mathemagically, if I may:

The words Bush and Rove each have 4 letters, to which you must add 2 (there are two of them). The result is 6! There are 6 letters in George! If you count the letters in Carl Rove and subtract 2 (you must, because this is the SECOND time the name is used) you get …6! The Number of the Beast! 666! AAAAUGH!

By: Thorlac

Thorlac — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 03:51:46 +0000

With his (commercially unsuccessful) “New Pope” article, Pastor Swank reveals himself to be a member of an ages-old secret organization that has the sole purpose of comparing current events and persons to those in Revelations: the Curious Cabal of Chicken Little Christians. It appears that Swank is vying for the coveted office of Wielder of the Broad Brush of Misunderstood Prophecy.