Comments on: Pastor Swank on the election

By: SamFromUtah

SamFromUtah — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 18:59:07 +0000

Now, now. That kind of thing hardly ever happens around here. Um, usually.

By: A Different Jake H.

A Different Jake H. — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:14:12 +0000

SamFromUtah, I think that's exactly what's going on. As long as he doesn't kidnap any young girls to take as plural wives, I guess he's a harmless crank.

By: SamFromUtah

SamFromUtah — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:28:07 +0000

I wonder if Swank’s weird dialect comes from trying to sound all King James-y and failing. You hear some of that around here in Utah, since there’s a fairly common belief – not sure if it’s official Mormon – that since the Bible is in that old style English, and the Book of Mormon is in a facsimile of it, that you’re supposed to pray like that. Because that’s the language God speaks.

By: Sarcastro

Sarcastro — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:26:23 +0000

For once, Pastor Swank understates the case. Obama is actually “known” to millions as a mask Muslim. I would put it as high as 22% of the population.

Well, that is about 2,750,000 score… and seven.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:36:29 +0000

All your womb babies are belong to us.

“B. Hussein betrays Christ maximum.”

Is that a new multi-vitamin?
“Christ Maximum, now with twice the vitamin C and piety!”

By: Ugly Direction

Ugly Direction — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:57:29 +0000

The Muslims will call “ugly direction” every day once B. Hussein is in the Oval Office.

WTF, I’m on the DO NOT CALL list!

By: Nenya

Nenya — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:53:49 +0000

I was going to drop in here and say that I know of at least one evangelical who is enthusiastically supporting Obama. But then, Fred Clark is actually not only a clear but elegant writer of the English language: it might not be fair to P. Swank.

By: Boudicca

Boudicca — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 11:24:28 +0000

Brad,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for leading this guided tour to the Land of Swank. I’m always a little afraid to venture there alone, but I do so enjoy seeing the sights from time to time.
Holla attcha, womb boys and girls!

By: A Different Jake H.

A Different Jake H. — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 11:03:47 +0000

Perhaps Pastor Swank writes a “normal” wingnutty column, and then translates it into and back from some foreign language. The trick is to figure out which one he uses, then we can write in the style Swank. There's Latvian style Swank:

Muslim will call "ugly direction" Business B. Hussein is the Oval Office. He cries, they will be discriminated against because of the non-Muslim to become a persecuted minority.

Norwegian style:

Muslims call the "ugly direction" every day when B. Hussein in the oval office. He will have to come to their shout to be discriminated so that non-Muslims are persecuted minority.

I know. Perhaps Vietnamese?

Muslims will be called "ugly direction" every day once B. Hussein is in the Oval Office. He will have to come to their cries are being discriminated against because without that Muslims will become gun minorities.

It's like an infinite loop of Swank.

By: jim

jim — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 10:16:46 +0000

goober Says:
October 15th, 2008 at 0:36

“It’s jest one vote, goober!! Nuthun t’see here! Booga booga!!”

Multiply that one vote by 538 and Gore wins Florida in 2000.

Stupidest. Analogy. Ever.

By: Take AIM « Bartholomew’s Notes on Religion

Take AIM « Bartholomew’s Notes on Religion — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:50:38 +0000

[...] * NB: Excluding people named Pastor J. Grank Swank [...]

By: Major Woody

Major Woody — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:39:34 +0000

I think you’re on to something, lobbey. Perhaps Pastor Swank writes a “normal” wingnutty column, and then translates it into and back from some foreign language. The trick is to figure out which one he uses, then we can write in the style Swank.

By: lobbey

lobbey — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 07:59:28 +0000

Sorry to disagree with you, Truth, but Obama will be sworn in as our next president. And, like you, I will visit S,N! on the 5th to congratulate them on a con job well-done. The honeymoon with the lefty bloggers will end soon enough, when O! sends his “Truth Squad” thugs to intimidate them the first time they dare criticize “Teh One”.

Sorry, booger, the squads will be coming for you, time for a little payback, eh?

I just love the translation things, original;

“The Muslims will call “ugly direction” every day once B. Hussein is in the Oval Office. He will have to come to their cries of being discriminated against so that non-Muslims will become the persecuted minority.”

To & from Korean

“Islamite when once B. Hussein is in the elliptical office, ” The direction ” which is ugly; Will call everyday. He expense will become the ethnic minority which the Islamite oppresses and them of discrimination about shouting like that, must come”

By: Senator Ted

Senator Ted — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:15:36 +0000

The Womb Boys, didn’t they do that song “Let’s Dance To Joy Division”?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyCi4CMD29w

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 05:43:48 +0000

I believe it is considered most appropriate to be watching an Ed Wood Jnr. movie when you call ugly direction.

By: Major Woody

Major Woody — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 05:26:29 +0000

Hey Flip,

I believe it is considered most appropriate to face Washington, DC when you call ugly direction.

By: FlipYrWhig

FlipYrWhig — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 05:06:07 +0000

Calling “ugly direction” every morning will be part of Sharia Law. Personally I’m quite looking forward to it.

Stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Call ugly direction
Wonder why you haven’t before

By: FlipYrWhig

FlipYrWhig — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 05:03:51 +0000

Ah, that’s the sweet stuff, J—.

Swank is probably my all-time favorite cut-rate wingnut pundit.

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 04:58:23 +0000

Calling “ugly direction” every morning will be part of Sharia Law. Personally I’m quite looking forward to it.

By: Major Woody

Major Woody — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 04:24:32 +0000

MzNicky said,
Hi major woody. long time no see.

Well hello MzNicky, known to scores as a mask Muslim who enthusiastically applauds killing womb boys and girls. I call ugly direction every day to you!

This is now my all-time favorite salutation. Actually though, I might prefer to go with a hearty “Betray Christ Maximum!” Decisions, decisions.