Oct
13
13
Shorter Annie Jacobsen
ABOVE: Annie Jacobsen (right)
- Muslims started a jihad against Barbie (the doll, not Klaus) when they found out the doll was created by a Jewish woman. But lookie what I found. I found a drawing in a Palestinian newspaper of the leader of Hezbollah dressed in a Superman suit. And do you know who created Superman? Huh? Another Jew! Ha!! Still, they are smart enough to make a suitcase nuke, which is why all my bedsheets are soiled and why I have to wear Depends everywhere I go.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Not Sarah Palin said,
October 13, 2008 at 0:44
Muslims started a jihad against Barbie
In what respect, Charlie?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 13, 2008 at 0:48
Nice Scarlet Red font, Clif!
coeruleus said,
October 13, 2008 at 0:53
It’s a bird…it’s a plane…it’s Mooslim treeman!
Gerald Curl said,
October 13, 2008 at 1:07
IIRC, Kal-El Hussein Supermani was a Mohammaden.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 13, 2008 at 1:09
ABOVE: Godzilla (left – Green Party)
Arky 4 That 1 said,
October 13, 2008 at 1:09
O Lord, please make my enemies a tiny bit more ridiculous so that when they open their mouths, they drool on their shoes. Amen.
Marco said,
October 13, 2008 at 1:19
Yes, it is crazy to ban a doll for being too Jewish. Next thing you know, Mooslims will freak about scarves in pastry commercials, try to burn entertainers at the stake for nip slips or insufficient loyalty or call for more outright death for printing shit they don’t like in the newspapers.
You know the wingtards would wear a burkha in a hot second if a Reagan ‘04 patch were sewn into it.
tigrismus said,
October 13, 2008 at 1:19
Muslim musicians can attack with an oud and tonbak
a toilet trip lets them equip
bring down a plane in one refrain
tell the steward before we’re skewered
Matt T. said,
October 13, 2008 at 1:24
And do you know who created Superman? Huh? Another Jew!
Funny thing is, back in the beginning of the strip, Superman’s main most enemies weren’t Lex Luthor or Brainiac or any of those jokers. He went up against corrupt businessmen a good deal, if memory serves, as those Jewish creators were pretty left-wing.
blowback said,
October 13, 2008 at 1:46
Do you think she is bucking to make the Smearcasters Dozen into a baker’s dozen.
With Debbie Schlussel pouting her way into Smearcasters, you have to ask what became of Pamela.
Gundamhead said,
October 13, 2008 at 1:58
Annie Jacobsen? Wasn’t she the crazy “Muslims almost blew up my plane with a McDonalds sack of mass destruction?” I’m kind of shocked that she’s still around.
Snorghagen said,
October 13, 2008 at 2:06
There’s a rich supply of blood-curdling craziness in Jacobsen’s comments section…
Fisher-Price is making Islamic Barbies!
It’s 1938! America will become Nazi Germany if you don’t vote Republican!
Obama will impose female castration!
Leftists support Barbie-suppression!
25% of Muslims are homos!
Liberals are preventing burqas made of bacon from being displayed in the National Gallery!
Gundamhead said,
October 13, 2008 at 2:06
Aha! Found the old Wold O Crap articles.
http://blogs.salon.com/0002874/2004/07/16.html
http://blogs.salon.com/0002874/2004/07/22.html
http://blogs.salon.com/0002874/2004/08/05.html
Crazy Annie is crazy.
Dr. Loveless said,
October 13, 2008 at 2:07
Annie Jacobsen? Wasn’t she the crazy “Muslims almost blew up my plane with a McDonalds sack of mass destruction?” I’m kind of shocked that she’s still around.
Yep, the one and the same. Just Google “Terror in the Skies, again?” and try not to spew your beverage onto your monitor while reading. IIRC, Salon’s “Ask the Pilot” columnist did a great take-down of her, at the time.
krassen said,
October 13, 2008 at 2:11
My friends, we will win in the War on Barbie and come home with honor and dignity!
SFGOTP said,
October 13, 2008 at 2:21
Just wait til they see the
Ron Jeremy dollRon Jeremy doll.Smut Clyde said,
October 13, 2008 at 2:26
Did someone say “burqas made of bacon”?
alec said,
October 13, 2008 at 2:37
I’ve got a personal theory about this: superhero comics form a sort of personal social aegis, providing whatever protection to the world the creators feel their own society and government cannot.
The evolving demographics of the comics’ creators explains a lot of their shifting aegis; Spiderman and a lot of Silver Age heroes basically existed to provide a society alienated from its political and economic elites with heroes who had to earn their station – ‘With great power comes great responsibility’ could be a social summary of the failure of the Nixon presidency – and starting with the 80s, you basically had a bunch of socially maladroit suburban white boys fantasizing about the government protecting their future wives from rampaging negroes and cleansing the evil cities of pacifists and fancy-pants ivy-tower elitists.
Frank Miller, the fuckwad, justified the idea of a Batman story in which the Caped Crusader fights al Qaeda with ‘It’s not like Batman is going to be rescuing kittens from trees’. If, like the creators of Superman, the fire department wouldn’t even put out your tenament if it was going up in smoke, you’d take rescuing kittens from trees a lot more seriously.
alec said,
October 13, 2008 at 2:38
Here is the Salon piece on ARABS WANT TO KILL MY BOY mentioned.
El Cid said,
October 13, 2008 at 3:11
Pssst! Don’t look now, but FiveThirtyEight.com’s got Obama’s win likelihood now at 94.1%, and 350.5 to 187.5 electoral votes at a 52-46.6% popular vote margin.
Boy, are we Democrats in trouble now!
shaun said,
October 13, 2008 at 3:30
Aren’t christians currently firing up their own Jihad against some doll that praises allah if you tilt your head just so and are a paranoid fucknut?
Joe Max said,
October 13, 2008 at 3:30
Hell, wait until they see the Sarah Palin sex doll.
Now that’s the western decadence we need!
Loneoak said,
October 13, 2008 at 3:53
I totally called it. Over at Jacobsen’s site:
Also, I tried some trolling over there linking to this
Also, what the fuck is this about “castrating women”? Seriously, these people are that obscenely ignorant of human genitalia they don’t know the difference between testicles and clitorises. For all their love of rural life, you’d think they would know something about what “castration” means. Exurb douchebags.
Loneoak said,
October 13, 2008 at 3:54
Something is screwy about the preview today.
Smut Clyde said,
October 13, 2008 at 4:29
Liberals are preventing burqas made of bacon from being displayed in the National Gallery!
Pah. Mere half-measures. Real artists cover the whole feckin’ Gallery with bacon.
Smut Clyde said,
October 13, 2008 at 4:51
Wordpress the Eater of Links is objectively anti-bacon.
Lesley said,
October 13, 2008 at 4:54
My friends and I regularly abuse Barbie at the local bar. We also take pictures.
mextremist said,
October 13, 2008 at 5:02
mooselims? isn’t that what palin hunts from black choppers?
Lesley said,
October 13, 2008 at 5:04
Jesus Murphy, this G7 bank bail out is fucking disgusting.
This is happening because banks have stopped lending each other money. They stopped lending each other money because they don’t trust each other. They don’t trust each other because they’re all swimming in bad debt. They’re swimming in debt because they gambled foolishly with money they didn’t have to profit handsomely in the short term. They were able to do this because governments deregulated finance, and gave subprime their blessing. So now, the G7 are going to guarantee loans a bank couldn’t guarantee because no one knows where the bottom of the bad debt fallout lies. The banks aren’t lending because they can’t guarantee their loans but the G7 IS TAKING OUR TAX MONEY, OUR SOCIAL SECURITY, OUR TREASURY, TO GET THESE MISERABLE CROOKS TRADING AGAIN. DO THEY THINK WE ARE STUPID?
When Bush said he had “tools” at his disposable to solve the crisis he was right. He’s the biggest fat fucking tool of the lot.
Populations across the industrialized west might want to consider a massive tax revolt. Seriously, these dudes will have to earn the right to manage our money. Also, I want a REDUCTION in service charges at the banks. No more fees. No more ATM fees.
If I hear one more rightwing blowhard accuse a welfare family of ripping off society, I will explode on his butt. This is the biggest welfare cheque EVER. Times eleventy.
I see t-shirt sales in our future with the slogan – “No Bank Left Behind” (G7 in 2008)
Ken Lowery said,
October 13, 2008 at 5:19
Liberals are preventing burqas made of bacon from being displayed in the National Gallery!
Wait, they suddenly want to tell us they care about FREEDOM OF ARTISTIC EXPRESSION?
No, that’s too much. That’s beyond the pale.
eidos said,
October 13, 2008 at 5:31
Do you think she is bucking to make the Smearcasters Dozen into a baker’s dozen.
With Debbie Schlussel pouting her way into Smearcasters, you have to ask what became of Pamela.
This is mildly amusing. Pammy is jealous of Michelle for taking her rightful spot on the list. Apparently, she’s in a huff because Michelle stole her glory in breaking the Rachael Ray/Dunkin Donuts/Scarf deal. MEEEOW!
bad person said,
October 13, 2008 at 5:31
In the photo at top, are we sure it isn’t Gwakymoto? Not Insane! One Organism, One Vote!
back on topic, I don’t think muslims are the only, or first, people to decry that Barbie’s materialism was detrimental to children’s (let’s just say it: child ladies!) view of society. Of course, we ignored those bozos too.
Janie Hussein Jones said,
October 13, 2008 at 5:37
If I hear one more rightwing blowhard accuse a welfare family of ripping off society, I will explode on his butt. This is the biggest welfare cheque EVER. Times eleventy.
I might have to file Chapter 7 bankruptcy early next year. I’d do it now, but I stupidly just did a bunch of balance transfers in a last ditch effort to prevent it. However, even though it would ruin my finances for at least a decade, part of me would love to just say fuck you, I am not paying another dime on this debt ever. So I tried and failed at my small business. I didn’t intentionally rip anyone off.
Oh, and though you’re probably sick of hearing about Palin at the Flyers game, I have to relay the funniest sign I read about:
“I can see the end of your political career from my house.”
kate said,
October 13, 2008 at 6:02
The only thing the wingnuts like Annie hate about the “other” is that they don’t ban the right stuff. The wingnuts would still worship Barbie and the materialism she represents, but they’ll just limit her roles to wife, obedient daughter and pregnant welfare ‘ho.
I agree with you Lesley on the bailout mess. And Janie, I too got sunk in a small business venture with tons of debt and never ripped anyone off, nor did I get a bailout from the government, a sweet golden parachute, a big retreat and party or even a new car.
I’m ready for the revolution.
El Cid said,
October 13, 2008 at 6:03
Pssst: Don’t look now, but “Iraq says time for British troops to go“.
Wally Columbus said,
October 13, 2008 at 6:12
Its officially Columbus Day!!! Yay! WooHoo! Where’s my parade?
Mass Law Forum said,
October 13, 2008 at 6:40
Lisa Loeb’s slow twin-sister.
Vasco de Gama said,
October 13, 2008 at 6:43
Pffft. I actually sailed to India. You know, the actual India. Not Columbus’ made-up one.
A Different Jake H. said,
October 13, 2008 at 7:42
GG already covered this last Sunday but today the NY Times has a story on Andy Martin, The Man Behind the Whispers About Obama, or rather, the ass-clown behind the smears about Obama being a sooper secret Arab Muslim one-man terror cell.
Turns out Andy Martin was the first to proclaim “OMG Obama’s a secret Muslim” back in 2004 on Free Republic (go figure!).
Apparently his ideation had something to do with rabid Jew-hating, because he subsequently became known for filing numerous frivolous lawsuits relating to imagined Jewish conspiracies against him:
But were they Jewish judges, I wonder?
A Jewish evaluator, perhaps?
Andy Martin’s just the kind of guy for Sean Hannity to put on his program and give an open forum to. Which he, you know, did last week. Who’s next? David Duke? Hannity might as well go for broke at this point.
alec said,
October 13, 2008 at 7:48
David Duke is the kind of guy who, were he blind, black, and ignorant of one of those, would probably divorce his wife for being a nigger-lover.
Compared to your garden-variety conservative bigot, he’s got principles. Your Malkins make exceptions for anyone they damn well feel like – including themselves. Comparing a hateful, evil creature like that to Duke is just a little unfair.
A Different Jake H. said,
October 13, 2008 at 8:08
I think Lonny Martello is one of Andy Martin’s personalities. He just does a mental search-and-replace from TEH FUCHING JOOZ to TEH FUCHING FERRETS and turns his paranoid delusion into comic relief.
Mrs Tilton said,
October 13, 2008 at 8:39
FiveThirtyEight.com’s got Obama’s win likelihood now at 94.1%, and 350.5 to 187.5 electoral votes at a 52-46.6% popular vote margin
That is excellent news for John McCain.
alec said,
October 13, 2008 at 9:02
I’m just waiting for McCain to lose the election before it hits Mountain Standard Time. How can Obama possibly recover???
Annie Jacobsen said,
October 13, 2008 at 11:06
Those Lebanese men have something in their McDonald’s bags! They’re using the lavatory, one by one, after the seat-belt sign was turned off!! They’re looking around the plane!!1 Even out the windows!!1!
Just because I saw something that wasn’t there doesn’t mean I didn’t see something that was there.
Anne Althaus™³²®© said,
October 13, 2008 at 13:24
I tawt I taw a putty tat!
Mass Law Forum said,
October 13, 2008 at 13:29
Is Annie J still insisting that she “witnessed a dry-run” of another 9/11-style hijacking the day that the scary Arab musicians waited in line for the lavatory en masse on her flight?
One of the “musicians,” if you recall, was actually wearing a jacket emblazoned with Arabic!
The Arabs apparently also shared McDonald’s breakfast burritos from a communal McDonald’s bag!
I don’t mean to frighten the women and children here, but if it weren’t for Annie J’s vigilance on that flight, EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN might have died at the hands of these wandering Arab minstrels.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 13, 2008 at 14:13
In other news, shrill Paul Krugman has won a Nobel Prize.
Jennifer said,
October 13, 2008 at 14:39
Well, that just proves Krugman’s a pointy-headed liberal elitist, just like the wingers have been saying all along.
Vasco de Gama said,
October 13, 2008 at 14:39
Hmmph. More proof that economists are all liberal leftist pro-terrorist statist anti-Americans, except for the ones who learned True Economics from Ayn Rand novels.
El Cid said,
October 13, 2008 at 14:40
Whoops. That damn Portuguese sailor was taking my comments again.
actor212 said,
October 13, 2008 at 14:48
Funny thing is, back in the beginning of the strip, Superman’s main most enemies weren’t Lex Luthor or Brainiac or any of those jokers. He went up against corrupt businessmen a good deal, if memory serves, as those Jewish creators were pretty left-wing.
What goes around comes around, as the comic now features a Lex Luthor who is a business tycoon.
tigrismus said,
October 13, 2008 at 14:49
Start crying into your arugula lattes now, libbies: Krugman’s Nobel is good news for McCain because it prooves the Nobel prizes are just a liberal popularity contest nowadays.
Hey, this IS kind of fun!
alec said,
October 13, 2008 at 15:18
My debate partner was this second-generation guy from Pakistan (’Bakistan’, although his accent was pretty strictly So-Cal), heavy-set but self-confident, DJ and amateur cricketer, Shia but pretty generically religious, &ca. He also has one of the better deadpans you’ll ever encounter: once managed to convince me that his family didn’t believe in cups.
Totally had me going, too. There’s a reason we won county that year.
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker said,
October 13, 2008 at 15:36
I can’t belive Annie Jacobsen’s still milking her 15 seconds of fame after her freak-out in the air. I’d assumed she was still hiding under her bed in a puddle of urine.
dBa said,
October 13, 2008 at 16:04
In another timely response, I must add, if Superman is a jew, who’s gonna save Christmas now??
Ken Lowery said,
October 13, 2008 at 16:13
What goes around comes around, as the comic now features a Lex Luthor who is a business tycoon.
And, for a brief time, POTUS.
Ken Lowery said,
October 13, 2008 at 16:13
Yes, really.
MaineMan said,
October 13, 2008 at 16:18
Lesley – I think when Bush said he had the “tools” at his “disposal”, he was referring to us.
The Goddamn Batman's Official Religion Is The First Church of PAIN said,
October 13, 2008 at 17:57
Oh, jeebus, who gave that crazy lady a column? So some bad dude has a Superman knock-off T-shirt, whoop-tee. I told Clark about it and he just laughed and said that he’d gone through the same thing with Hitler, who had all his comics but crossed out Siegel and Schuster’s name with a pen. Then he’d take them into the bathroom, and at that point Clark, who was watching all this with his super-vision, would have to put on his lead blindfold and try to find his happy place. When he told me that, I thought that since we were buds and sharing and all, I’d ask him how his mohel had performed a bris: did he use a kryptonite blade or what? He gives me this funny look and says that he was raised by Lutherans, and besides, did I understand the part about how he was an alien? I’m not sure what he was getting at.
alec, don’t get me started on Frank Miller. I used to dig his stuff–Elektra, hot-cha!–but lately he’s, I dunno, trying to be hip like the kids or something. Have you seen that trailer for the Spirit? Samuel L. Jackson in an SS uniform, WTF yo.
actor212 said,
October 13, 2008 at 23:49
In another timely response, I must add, if Superman is a jew, who’s gonna save Christmas now??
He’s not observant, like Lieberman.