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Shorter Jay Nordlinger
- If John McCain completely blows tonight’s debate, it will be because, like George W. Bush before him, he cares too much about the American people to talk about policies that could make their lives better.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Jas said,
September 26, 2008 at 21:36
Essentially, “Bush sucked so bad in the first debate of each season that, by virtue of not choking quite to death on a pretzel in the second and third of each season, he seemed to win! And I wonder if McCain has similar plans to botch things terribly on purpose tonight, so he can come back and really wow people in the next two. Pity Palin only gets one debate…”
Righteous Bubba said,
September 26, 2008 at 21:40
Also, no nap.
Tom65 said,
September 26, 2008 at 21:41
If anyone knows about lowered expectations, it’s Jay Nordlinger.
StringonaStick said,
September 26, 2008 at 21:44
Hmmm, yeeesssss, I think these winger water carriers should keep inflating the importance of the debates by either under or over estimating how well/badly McCain has to do to win it. This should be just as entertaining as watching Faux News now spinning how great it is that McSame is going to the debate tonight, when previously it was a sign of his statesmanly greatness that he wasn’t going to.
Flopsweat, and lots of it.
Legalize said,
September 26, 2008 at 21:48
I stopped listening to Nerdlinger when his bra bomb failed to work.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 26, 2008 at 21:58
The Truth is Rainbow Man?
Mr. Wonderful said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:00
I told the wife about the general feeling here that McSame has disgraced himself all week and that it’s now O’s to lose.
She, skeptically: Oh yeah? What about the voting machines, and the Republican voter subversions, and all THAT?
So I said I’d put it before the People here.
Thoughts?
Legalize said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:02
GOPer voter criminality is always an issue in presidential elections. Fortunately, Ohio, Virginia, Colorado, and New Mexico are controlled by Dems this time.
D.N. Nation said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:03
Man, The Truth is out of gas.
D.N. Nation said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:04
And feel free to reference this, bozo.
But, durr, Michelle Obama! Right.
D.N. Nation said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:05
Specifically, Toot:
But, um, we’re all gonna go down because we’re being mean to Sarah Palin! Right. Totally right.
Jas said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:12
Yes, troofy, the polls
D.N. Nation said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:14
Yep, there it is! Obama’s doomed! It’s over! It doesn’t matter that his lead is growing all over, Obama’s screwed because of a phenomenon that is hardly considered to be absolute fact:
THAT’s what you’re hinging all your hopes and dreams on? You ARE pathetic.
D.N. Nation said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:15
And thanks for bringing up the 538 argument against the Bradley effect. Truth, you have absolutely nothing. And I’m betting dollars to donuts you don’t have the rocks to hang out around here when McCain comes crashing down in November. Prove me wrong. Or just shut up. Actually, just shut up- your schtick is tired.
Nigel von Lancastershire said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:16
The Truth:
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
What a dope!
eidos said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:27
Oh, come on. Jay thinks its really necessary to lower the bar? Good god, Jay, are you late to this party.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:27
Man, what a FUCKING tool. Was it two or three weeks ago that Troofy was here waving polls in our face every single day? Oblivious to the idea of a “convention bump”. And now he’s all “Bradley Effect”. Okay Troofy, whenever a poll shows JiSM3 in the lead – that’s honest accouting, but whenever a poll shows Obama in the lead, that’s obviously a manifestation of the Bradley Effect. Got it. Any more words of wisdom to impart?
Nigel von Lancastershire said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:38
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
make the dumb man stop!
The Truth said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:39
Why are you laughing at me? Obama’s going to lose by 10 percentuge points, because the Bradley thing is real.
The Truth said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:40
You liberals hate me because I’m awesome. Boo yeah.
Nigel von Lancastershire said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:41
You know we know who you are, right?
The Truth said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:42
I don’t care. You people don’t respect me. You’ll see how smart I am, because the Bradley effect thing is real, and I’m smart and awesome. You’ll see.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:42
Troofy,
Here, in this historic election campaign, we’ve had the wonderful opportunity to test out the crazy ass theory that people claim to lurve negroes when they really want to string them up instead. Well, some people have done just that – did you actually read your fucking link?
The Truth said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:43
Wikipedia is a liberal site. Why don’t you try conservopedia? It’s a lot smarter.
D.N. Nation said,
September 26, 2008 at 22:44
Wow, this clown is losing it, right in front of our eyes. Too bad, so sad.
D.N. Nation said,
September 26, 2008 at 23:08
I’m going to make this clear.
If you think McCain is going to win Wisconsin and Minnesota at this juncture, you’re a moron. Which you are.
If we are even to believe the Bradley effect is a wide-reaching, 100%-always-happens phenomenon, which it simply is not, the land-line effect, the huge gains in Democratic voter registration, PalinMania coming to a screeching halt, etc., etc. nullify it in full. I know you’ve got to keep up the good fight, which is admirable in its ridiculousness, but dude- McPalin is a terrible ticket, and the polls reflect the popular opinion on this. You can squeal “Bradley!” all you want, but you. Have. Nothing.
Like I said, you don’t have the stones to come around here after this election. Absolutely do not.
D.N. Nation said,
September 26, 2008 at 23:08
Also, do yourself a favor and read that 538 link about the Bradley effect. It’s mostly a sham. As is the notion that McCain could get 70% of independents.
Brandi said,
September 26, 2008 at 23:32
You folks are going to be very surprised to see what happens tonight.
I look forward to hearing about McCain’s obese stalker barrelling onto stage and attempting to fellate him.
Grand Moff Texan said,
September 27, 2008 at 0:03
Your blah-bomb better work, Nordlinger.
.
Grand Moff Texan said,
September 27, 2008 at 0:05
Percentuge?
Did Obama run out of quatloos?
Was he doomed by El Niño?
.
WereBear said,
September 27, 2008 at 0:16
The “Bradley thing” faded by the mid 90′s. According to actual scientists. And it was never that robust to begin with, more of an urban legend than a reliable, and repeatable, phenomenon.
One thing we know about Truthy: copious lying under the name of Truth does not bother he or she, and so this one does not believe in Karmic Retribution.
But I do.
SamFromUtah said,
September 27, 2008 at 0:31
…copious lying under the name of Truth does not bother he or she…
Watch your pronoun cases! Here you’ll be wanting the objective, so him or shim is proper.
MzNicky said,
September 27, 2008 at 0:40
WereBear: For one thing, the “Bradley effect” can’t be tested empirically. That’s the sort of thing that can kind of undermine a theory.
MzNicky said,
September 27, 2008 at 0:40
In other words, Truthless is a douchebag.
WereBear said,
September 27, 2008 at 0:52
I think we have ample support for MzNicky’s theory.
MzNicky said,
September 27, 2008 at 1:18
WereBear: It’s definitely a reliable and repeatable phenomenon.
Smut Clyde said,
September 27, 2008 at 1:35
Four litres of douche in a two-litre bag.
Aaron said,
September 27, 2008 at 1:50
Heck, I’ll be surprised if McCain actually shows up for the debate. At this point, he’s capable of anything.
Aaron said,
September 27, 2008 at 1:52
Uhh… link?
WereBear said,
September 27, 2008 at 2:19
Reality is the Republican candidate saying he’s not going to show up for the first debate until a bill is passed, but while the bill is still up in the air, he shows up anyway.
Speculation is why he did it.
Gentlewoman said,
September 27, 2008 at 2:48
Aaron, just look upthread a few posts.
Uh, I think Aaron was requesting actual evidence. Not some douche quoting what some other douche on teevee said about some anecdotal (and probably apocryphal–look it up, dearie, it’s from teh bible!) “folks.”
Any other questions, darling?
Any other (or any) answers, douchebag?
No, I thought not.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
September 27, 2008 at 2:57
Well, just got back from dinner – and since everyone’s up a thread, probably talking about the debate I figure I’ll just make myself cozy here for a while.
Troofy, here’s the point – polls inherently have uncertainty. The smug way you dismiss any poll that differs from your worldview as some sort of manifestation of a decades old and probably out of date social model is hilarious. In the section of your link that I pointed out, there was a question of under-sampling blacks. The question becomes, how do you take this into account? Is having a black candidate likely to increase turnout of this demographic?
And then, when the polls show something different, you ignore the fact that most of that polling was done in the final days of the GOP convention, or just a few days after. I bet you haven’t even heard about pollsters admitting that they’re over-sampling Republicans.
Regardless, you keep coming back with the “rude awakening on Nov. 5″ nonsense – but you never link stuff that tracks EV’s. Do you want to write off 538 because they’re a bunch of lefties? Despite the fact that Nate Silver is incredibly open about how he runs his simulations? What about RCP or electoral-vote.com? All three show an Obama win.
I still believe that the current polling is still being skewed by the back-to-back conventions, although at this point I suspect that the financial meltdown is having a much larger effect. Regardless, if you believe that McCain is holding some sort of advantage right now, well then you’re reading the numbers wrong.
Pretty brave words, one hour into the first debate – and I have no idea what’s happening in it. And as the guy who cremated Sam McGee said, I guess he’s cooked – and it’s time I looked…
Dr. BDH said,
September 27, 2008 at 6:07
Wisconsin, where I live, has a Democratic governor, two Democratic senators and is about to have a Democratic bicameral legislature. The last Republican politician from Wisconsin who aspired to national office was Tommy Thompson. Remember him, Truth? I didn’t think so. Obama doesn’t have an out-of-wedlock teenage daughter, so there goes that voting block. But, hey, 1500 hundred families are going to lose their husbands, wives, daughters, and sons to Iraq for a war McCain says we just won. There’s a bunch of voters right there that don’t care whether Gov. Palin ever shot a moose. Talk about epic fail!
The Truth said,
September 27, 2008 at 6:09
When I said Wisconsin, I meant Iowa. They’re the same where I come from.
John McPenispussy said,
September 27, 2008 at 7:14
Wow, The Fuckfart, McCain really kicked ass tonight! NOT!
Now go take your micropenis and stuff it in a bottle of acid, you pathetic sack of shit. And tell your mother I’m coming to drop a hot batch of little Nigels all over her pig face.
You pathetic sack of micropenis shit. You disgust me, pussy. Eat shit and die, with a strong emphasis on die. Fucking shithead.
John McPenispussy said,
September 27, 2008 at 7:15
Also, when I nail a steamer all over her fake tits, you’ll forgive me if I accidentally shit in your mouth. Then again, it’s better than whatever wingnut nonsense usually resides there. Fucking clown.
Susan of Texas said,
September 27, 2008 at 19:53
Truth seems to have adopted the personality of a fictional an insane rapist and murderer.
I guess everyone needs someone to look up to.
D.N. Nation said,
October 1, 2008 at 22:48
Heh. I like how Truth got reaaaaally quiet.