9
The Fact Is Global Warming Is A Lie (UPDATED)
If I were to tell you that the latest arrow in the wingnut global cooling quiver is The Old Farmer’s Almanac, you would probably suggest that the stress of my lurking about the wingnut-o-sphere searching for blogging material had finally taken its toll on me and that I was imagining things. You’d tell me to rent a cabin somewhere in the mountains and take the dog with me for a long vacation from the Internet.
But that would only prove that you hadn’t visited Jules Crittenden’s blog lately. Crittenden is, among other things, a “science” columnist for the esteemed Boston Herald, the Boston tabloid best known for having once printed a satirical Andy Borowitz column about a proposed gunfight between Dick Cheney and Hillary Clinton as an actual news article.
So, Al Gore, cower in fear as Jules Crittenden uses The Old Farmer’s Almanac to take you and your silly ideas about global warming to school:
Old Farmer’s Almanac predicts a cold winter kicking off early for Thanksgiving. A couple of warm spring months, and we’re back into a cold summer and fall up this way. … If I didn’t know better, I’d say it almost sounds like that Little Ice Age might be kicking in.
Crittenden is obviously employing a little known axiom of the scientific method that says that if the researcher sees something happen once, and the researcher likes what he sees, then the researcher can scientifically predict that it will occur over and over again as often as the researcher would like. One cold winter? Well, that’s proof positive of a hundred cold winters to come. Send the folks at NOAA home, those idiots. We’re on our way to another Little Ice Age! Call Sarah Palin and make an appointment to go mastodon hunting.
This well-respected and completely scientific argument permitting a general conclusion from one instance is further backed up by the crack team of researchers and climate scientists at the Old Farmer’s Almanac, who also see us headed into another Little Ice Age.
Hang on. via Boston Herald, OFA thinks we’re headed into a decades-long cooling trend.
Based on the same time-honored, complex calculations it uses to predict weather, the almanac hits the newsstands today saying a study of solar activity and corresponding records on ocean temperatures and climate point to a cooler, not warmer, climate, for perhaps the next half century.
…
It remains to be seen, said Editor in Chief Jud Hale, whether the human impact on global temperatures will cancel out or override any cooling trend.
“We say that if human beings were not contributing to global warming, it would become real cold in the next 50 years,” Hale said.
…
So, if you don’t want to freeze to death, you’d better sell your hybrid car and replace it with a Hummer.
Another part of the scientific method relied on by the Almanac is a well known, but little used, exception to the peer-review rule. That exception to peer-review can be invoked when a scientist employs a technique that is really, really secret and can’t be disclosed to anyone, particularly to peer-reviewers who will steal the idea for their own nefarious purposes.
OFA relies on a formula more than 200 years old that incorporates the study of sunspots and other factors they don’t reveal.
Not only did Crittenden fall for this Farmer’s Almanac piffle, but Elizabeth Scalia, the wingnut who pretends to be a nun over at The Anchoress, swallowed it hook, crucifix and rosary as well. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised any more at folks using The Old Farmer’s Almanac as an authority on climate change, because these same folks believe that the Book of Genesis trumps all scientific inquiry on the origin of man.
UPDATE: Oh, sweet merciful Lord. Life imitates comments. Crittenden is now worried that the Large Hardon, er, Hadron Collider will cause the end of the world.
Vic said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:10
You have to love OFA on this issue. A few years back they had an article explaining that any signs validating global warming can easily be explained through other means.
Next year, there was an article which pretty much said “Okay, fine, it turns out global warming is real and is man-made. But, that doesn’t mean it’s ALL bad! There’ll be less ice in the Arctic Ocean! Isn’t that great?”
Ken Lowery said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:13
I don’t know about you, but I get all my grounded scientific research through magazines I can buy at the check-out stand in grocery stores.
christian h. said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:13
Is the OFA actually written by old farmers, who have received the secret formula from their fathers forefathers, down through time immemorial?
Mo's Bike Shop said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:13
I’ve got an idea. Instead of drilling for more oil, we can dig up more gold! Then we can just buy the oil and avoid all that dirty work.
Crittendon was always fucking things up for Hogan and the rest of the guys.
handy said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:13
The fact is, when I first read the title of this post, I thought we were going to find out that Gary Ruppert really exists and runs a blog under his nom de plume. Color me disappointed.
christian h. said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:15
The title of this post proves conclusively that Gary Ruppert is really Sadlu,No!, just as Amy Whatshername claimed.
christian h. said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:15
Locally, u = y.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:16
Oh, come on Clif. We all know the plural of “anecdote” is “data”. Therefore the OFA’s accumulated years of wild-assed guessing about the weather must amount to some sort of validated climate model.
Phoenician in a time of Romans said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:16
Next up – voodoo dolls and medical diagnosis, newspaper horoscope columns as a means of psychiatric diagnosis, and Magic 8-balls and sharemarket analysis.
comsympinko said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:16
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say it almost sounds like that Little Ice Age might be kicking in.”
You don’t know better, and you are saying a Little Ice Age might be kicking in.
You tragically stupid completely pathetic fucktard dickhead asshole.
kilo50 said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:17
What will these dumbasses say when there is no longer an Arctic icecap and all the polar bears are in the zoo? When you can’t survive out of doors in Arizona in May through September and if you don’t live in an airconditioned bubble you perish? Well that OFA was a bit off and when are you going to have that cancerous check removed.
Phoenician in a time of Romans said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:19
Ahem:
“In the October 1981 issue of Weatherwise, pages 212-215, John E. Walsh and David Allen performed a check on the accuracy of 60 monthly forecasts of temperature and precipitation from the Old Farmer’s Almanac at 32 stations in the U.S. They found that 50.7 percent of the monthly temperature forecasts and 51.9 percent of the precipitation forecasts verified with the correct sign. These may be compared with the 50 percent success rate expected by chance.”
So this thing is about as “reliable” as a means of weather prediction as a coin that manages to win 31 times out of 60 tosses.
El Cid said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:21
So I guess all them damn fancy NASA satellites with their sensors for “outgoing longwave infrared radiation” and them pointy-headed city folk with their multiple equations and experiments at the diffusion of photons through atmospheres of different compositions and different levels are all finally showed to be not worth a lick of spit compared to them wily 19th century rural folk what have been replaced by agrobusiness.
kilo50 said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:23
Exactly so Phoenecian. My local weather diviners can’t tell me 72 hours out what the skies will bring and we are supposed to believe some rag thats months old by the time it hits the stand. Of course if you are a radical reactionary any evidence will do as long as it says what your corporate masters want it to.
handy said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:23
Flying through hyperspace ain’t like dusting crops, boy.
J Neo Marvin said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:28
The fate of future generations may be in the hands of nitwits like this one. What a world.
Daniel said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:28
“I’ve got an idea. Instead of drilling for more oil, we can dig up more gold! Then we can just buy the oil and avoid all that dirty work.”
GOOOOLLLLLLDDDDD!!!!!1!!!1!1!!!!! E HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!!!
*dances jig*
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:28
Clearly, Mr. Crittenden reposes greater trust in the behavioral vagaries of wooly bear caterpillars, fire ants and ground squirrels than he does in the scientifically-supported statements of either climatologists or former Vice Presidents.
What-fuckin-ever.
Up next, Mr. Crittenden predicts the outcome of the 2008 Presidential election by means of the time-tested techniques of chiromancy, extispicy and the Reading of the Magic 8-Ball.
comsympinko said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:29
The sick, twisted part of this is that he’s not necessarily wrong. There are some climatologists who are predicting a short cooling phase before things really start to heat up.
He’ll then be able to point to this article as proof of his mastery of all things scientific but he won’t have understood a fucking thing about why he got it right.
Brain…overloading…urge to kill…rising…BBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWTTTTTTTTTTTTTTNNNNNNNNNNNNBBBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZ
JF Sebastian said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:32
The Boston Herald would like to welcome its newest science columnist, Punxsutawney Phil.
Grand Moff Texan said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:32
This guy is a science writer for the Boston Herald?
That’s a lot of dicks to suck.
.
mextremist said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:33
global warming has ruined the world’s crop of unicorn berries. we’ll see who’s laughing last once Jules Crittenden’s unicorn starves.
Marco said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:33
OFA is the magic 8-ball of meteorology but less accurate.
Leeds man said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:34
Your exalted (well, maybe not by you) mainstream media partook of the guffaws when Al Gore gave a global warming speech on the coldest day of the year. This is The Age Of Reason In America indeed.
Blue Buddha said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:35
I’d say several bags of dicks.
mextremist said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:38
i’d say more like a bushel and two stone of dicks.
handy said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:39
Your exalted (well, maybe not by you) mainstream media partook of the guffaws when Al Gore gave a global warming speech on the coldest day of the year.
If only they were so skeptical about claims with much less actual evidence to support them. You know, things like selling planes on e-Bay and telling Congress “No thanks on the bridge to nowhere.”
Mr. Wonderful said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:40
‘Oh, come on Clif. We all know the plural of “anecdote” is “data”. ‘
Sadly, etc.
But! In the proud tradition of “poutrage” and “glibertarian,” why not call their
use of such information “anecdata”?
Eg., “How do they refute global warming? Why, by offering copious, actual anecdata, written by old farmers, that it isn’t.”
Doctor Missus Marita said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:41
Oh, all you silly people acting like the Herald is a real newspaper. You bunch of goofs!
Mr. Wonderful said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:43
(“…that it isn’t real,” I meant.)
eidos said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:45
In related news Rev. Dobson reports that The Rapture will happen tomorrow when the Large Hardon Collider is turned on.
Glazing Systems Salesman, Consolidated Glazing Systems, Inc. said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:46
W00t! Happy days, they are a coming.
Here at Consolidated Glazing Systems, Inc. we think it important to keep up with the exciting weather developments promised by the Old Farmer’s Almanac.
Little Ice Age? More like Little Cash Register Age!
You see, in cold conditions, the main aim is to reduce heat flow out of the building. The components of the building envelope – windows, roofs and walls, and air infiltration are all important sources of heat loss[3][4]; in an otherwise well insulated home, windows will then become an important source of heat transfer.[5]. The resistance to conducted heat loss for standard glazing corresponds to an R-value of about 0.17W/m2/Ko[6] (compared to 2-4W/m2/Ko for glasswool batts[7]). Losses can be reduced by good weatherisation, bulk insulation, and minimising the amount of non-insulative (particularly non-solar facing) glazing. Indoor thermal radiation can also be retarded with spectrally selective (low-e, low-emissivity) glazing. Some insulated glazing systems can double to triple R values.
R-values, people. TRIPLED.
0.17W/m2/Ko compared to 2-4W/m2/Ko for glasswool batts.
That’s as much as 3.83W/m2/Ko. OVER GLASSWOOL BATTS.
The choice is clear. Consolidated Glazing Systems clear.
Grand Moff Texan said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:46
I’d say several bags of dicks.
Were any of them stuck in the chicken?
.
zeppo said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:49
No, that can’t be right. The LHC is supposed to create a mini-black hole, which will suck the Earth and everyone on it into the resulting singularity. No one is “left behind” if that happens, so all those fundy nutjobs can’t chortle about all us non-believers sentenced to live out our lives on a planet without a bunch of fundy nutjobs.
What fun is that for them?
Clif said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:49
Large Hardon Collider . . . hehe. Sounds like the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.
zeppo said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:51
Wait, I missed that typo! That’s a good one…. Freudian, much? Or was that on purpose?
Doctor Missus Marita said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:51
I like “anecdata” very much, Mr. Wonderful. With your permission, I think I’ll start using it at work when people overreach on the conclusions they draw from a pilot experiment.
Whee!
t4toby said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:53
Wouldn’t Gaia’s response to global warming be to begin an ice age?
I honestly fear the onset of a major ice age as a defense against rising temperatures more than I fear desert-like conditions.
Blue Buddha said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:54
Of course, they won’t be doing the experiments which will cause the mini-black holes for at least another month. They have to test the thing to make sure it works and everything is calibrated correctly.
Marco said,
September 9, 2008 at 23:54
“I’d say several bags of dicks.”
Hey, I am gay. Let’s not provide this guy with any pleasure whatsoever, especially by offering a full bag of fun.
Ginger Yellow said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:00
““We say that if human beings were not contributing to global warming, it would become real cold in the next 50 years,” Hale said.”
In other news, if George W Bush weren’t a complete fucking tool, America would be doing great right now.
Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:03
Hints:
A dozen virgins.
Obsidian bladed knife.
Beech tree.
Two-headed goat.
A bag of Skittles.
Don’t tell anyone.
SamFromUtah said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:05
…Magic 8-balls and sharemarket analysis.
I was in an electronics repair shop today and one of the guys there was using a Magic 8-ball to help him diagnose a broken power supply. I don’t think he was being very serious, but it would be irresponsible to dismiss the 8-ball’s power without further study.
Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:08
Great. With all the fundies gone will have enough room to swing our bags of dicks.
Gary Ruppert said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:13
The fact is, please speak to my publicist, because you owe me a royalty fee for using that title.
les said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:13
Hey, cut the old farmers some slack. Since human beings are contributing significantly, they could be right. We should hope they’re right, that the natural processes might mitigate our stupidity and greed.
WereBear said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:19
This “logic” is right up there with “winters are still cold, nyah nyah!”
Let me know how that anti-science slant goes when you need a dental procedure done. Don’t get all Luddite then, do ya?
Righteous Bubba said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:33
For some reason I was not asked for my contribution to the Large Hardon Collider.
Northern Exposure said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:33
But what if we put a bag of dicks *inside* the Large Hardon Collider?
Hardon deconfinement or preon ejaculation?
Helena Handbag said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:40
I agree with WereBear. I’d like a decree issued that if any of these anti-science knuckleheads gets cancer or heart disease or an immune disorder they are not allowed to enter a hospital and make use of any of the advances that the scientific method have made possible. They are given a jar of leeches, a rusty hacksaw and a book of prayers–maybe a bullet to bite on when the pain gets real bad, and a little whiskey to take the edge off.
These jerks who promote ignorance and attack rational scientific discourse will be the first ones to shove your kids out of the way at the emergency room door to get their shot of Cipro when some crackpot they’ve inspired decides to douse us all with anthrax again.
Doctorb said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:41
Today is cooler than yesterday, so probably that trend will continue. By October we’ll be gutting tauntauns to stay alive.
Also, did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continue … ayyyyy.
OneMan said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:41
“The fact is, please speak to my publicist, because you owe me a royalty fee for using that title.”
Gary, aren’t you in hiding to get past that little, er, indiscretion in your past? Why would you need a publicist?
Doctorb said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:43
Almanacs are really only useful to old farmers, sailors and werewolves, or if you are all three.
Dr.BDH said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:43
The Boston Herald hired Jules Verne for its science writer?
commie atheist said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:50
More like Jewel De Nile.
jim said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:51
Hmm – must be DFHs that’re destroying the Inuit’s traditional way of life. Surely, too, their overheating bongs & hot sweaty fornicating is to blame for the emerging Northwest Passage. Stop them, before they party again!!!1!11!
The OFA’s total lack of reliability has been a standing joke among the non-stupid rural folks around here since before I was born. An authority on Global Warming? That’s like appointing Pete Rose to look into corruption in sports.
Obviously these guys aren’t gunning for the Sub-Saharan Region market. I hear growing parts of that region are starting to look more & more like the fucking Moon.
Feedback mechanisms (warming = more cloud = cooling) can reduce or slow the effects of climate-change … for a while … but once the energy level in the climate-system goes over a tipping-point (as yet unknown) that offset becomes a moot point: feedback toward equilibrium is replaced by feedback toward disequilibrium as weather gets heinously – & unpredictably – violent, & air temperature keeps rising despite heavy cloud cover. Likewise, the impending &/or ensuing release of Arctic methane may well neutralize any benefit from cloudy skies … think of it as a kinder, gentler Venus (which is a LOT hotter than its orbit should allow it to be, due to large amounts of greenhouse-gases like methane).
More irony, anyone? If you’re a young person & you live in Europe, you might indeed live long enough to experience the rough equivalent of an Ice Age: all that Arctic melting is demonstrably slowing – & may even stop – the oceanic “conveyor-belt” of warmer sea-water that keeps the North Sea at an elevated temperature. Without that current, much of coastal Europe will be in a bad way indeed – the current gains for agriculture – & reduced heating requirements – would be wiped out, & the results would be catastrophic.
Interesting times – a little TOO interesting for comfort.
Johnny Pez said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:53
They can collect my hardon when they pry it from my cold . . .
Wait, no, ignore that.
OneMan said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:54
I can’t keep up with you kids; is the Large Hardon Collider the current euphamism for the Minneapolis St. Paul airport men’s room?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 10, 2008 at 0:55
Also, did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continue … ayyyyy.
This is central to my point!
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:15
This Al-Manac person sounds suspiciously arabic to me.
J— said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:17
Uh-oh. It looks like someone pressed the “Process Now” button. Wasn’t me!
J— said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:25
AFP:
So what if he stinks. Luca Brasi is the real candidate for change in ‘08!
mikey said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:31
What, is nobody doing the important research on relativistic small hardon collisions? What about the gauge boson for the large and small hardon? It could be called the PP*. And when the Large Hardons decay, do you get thousands of almost undetectable “penisinos”?
Clearly, the standard model is missing most everything below the beltbuckle…
mikey
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:34
Are you trying to test the bag model of dick confinement, Mikey?
handy said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:36
Umm, hello? Is this thing on? If so, enjoy.
mikey said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:37
I don’t think the bag model applies to Large Hardons, Smut.
I believe that would be more applicable to Quantum Nutsack Theory…
mikey
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:42
It was always a disappointment to me that “Degenerate Perturbation Theory” was not the name of a band.
WereBear said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:43
But is there a bag of dicks in the Hardon Collider, or not?
Being stared at has been known to create changes in the status of such…
ckc (not kc) said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:49
Being stared at has been known to create changes in the status of such…
Who you lookin’ at when you say that?!?!
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:51
OFA relies on a formula more than 200 years old that incorporates the study of sunspots
In their over 200 years of studying sun-spot cycles, you’d think they’d have noticed phenomena like the Maunder Minimum and the Spoerer Minimum. It was generous of them to leave these discoveries unpublished, so that Maunder and Spoerer could claim the credit for actually knowing something about sunspots.
ckc (not kc) said,
September 10, 2008 at 1:53
(for lack of appropriate modern punctuation, “?!?!” denotes “consternation” – we do need some new, modern punctuation)
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:02
wtf! also denotes consternation.
ike said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:11
Bush the worst president ever
mikey said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:11
Sudden, unexpected, uncontrolled evacuation of the bowels is another indication of consternation.
Of course, it would leave one, perhaps, smelling like shit…
mikey
Me said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:13
Crittendon’s scientific model is deeply flawed. It’s well established that the Old Farmer’s Almanac must be crosschecked with the furriness of caterpillars and the chirping of crickets, otherwise it’s all bunk.
robert green said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:17
ike is winner.
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:18
voodoo dolls and medical diagnosis, newspaper horoscope columns as a means of psychiatric diagnosis, and Magic 8-balls and sharemarket analysis
That would be funnier it were not for past associations between astrological advice, foreign policy and Ronald Reagan.
some groundhog said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:18
i don’t what your fucking problem is. if you have any weather questions, just wait for me to come out of my house and break it down for y’all.
rotten mcdonald said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:19
I’m trippin my Quantum Nutsak in a Bag of dik play!!
Sorry, just had this uncontrollable DFC moment….
SamFromUtah said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:20
Where did you get that picture of dear Jules? It has that “last clear image before the security camera went dead” look to it.
Gary Ruppert said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:22
The fact is, Cigarskunk.
Enjoy.
A cute li'l Dik-dik said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:23
Do not want bag.
A cute li'l Dik-dik said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:25
Do not want Cigarskunk either.
ckc (not kc) said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:25
punctuation – Palin – moose – voila!
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law -an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”…
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:27
It depends on whether or not you set the cycle to “fluff.”
ckc (not kc) said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:29
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…
farmer jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:30
The fact is, my house is hot as balls right now. Because the AC is out. Ergo, bag of dicks.
Bob said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:31
He’s not the science editor, he’s the guy who picks out what AP stories the paper is going to run the next day.
Orange Tom said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:48
Would you people please stop using this childish “bag of dicks” term? I believe the correct one is “basket of dicks”.
rotten mcdonald said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:53
Tom is right.
The correct usage would be ‘bag of hammers’
Or, alternately, ‘bag of antlers’
and if you want to get really foul, just say someone is ‘dumb as a puddle of Saul’
Doctor Missus Marita said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:54
Eww… I just stepped in a Saul puddle. I think I’m going to have to throw away these shoes.
dick and jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:55
gaggle of dicks? pride of dicks?
bargal20 said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:57
Southern Hemispheric Australia’s first European settlers (a hive of scum and villainy) used the Western Hemispheric English Farmer’s Almanac to plan their crop plantings.
Thanks to this Crittenden-like scientific approach I’d be swearing in French today if not for the Royal Navy.
Orange Tom said,
September 10, 2008 at 2:58
gaggle of dicks? pride of dicks?
A murder of dicks? (maybe a bunch of crows that are real assholes?).
WereBear said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:00
Well, if you are going to be pedantic, we could go colloquial with “sack of schlongs.”
J— said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:03
Luis Sancho is not amused by the Large Hardon Collider. Some excerpts from his affidavit submitted in March in support of a lawsuit that aimed to stop work on it.
Source: Harper’s.
ckc (not kc) said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:04
alveus penium or crumens peneum – you choose!
ckc (not kc) said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:05
(sorry – crumens penium, of course!)
El Cid said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:06
Dude might want to also deal with the fact that global warming began not as a hypothesis based on past measurements of temperature, but physicists dealing with the fact that every day, every minute, energy comes from the Sun to the Earth, some of it makes it through the atmosphere, and some of it eventually leaves from the Earth as infrared photons, and that’s the only way the Earth can release heat, and they noticed that anything that slowed the rate at which Earth released IR photons to space through the atmosphere would obviously increase the overall heat of the planet — you know, because if energy is coming it at a known rate, and the rate at which energy is leaving decreases, the object has no ‘choice’ but to heat. CO2 (and other substances) slows the rate at which IR photons leave the atmosphere.
crazy jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:06
fucking mad scientists.
mad scientist from The Princess Bride said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:10
Of course, they won’t be doing the experiments which will cause the mini-black holes for at least another month. They have to test the thing to make sure it works and everything is calibrated correctly.
NOT TO FIFTY!!!!
Rightwingsnarkle said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:11
OFA relies on a formula more than 200 years old that incorporates the study of sunspots
There hasn’t been a lot of continuity to OFA’s study of sunspots, since every guy that they’ve trained to perform the studies goes completely blind within minutes.
That sun is fucking bright, man.
WereBear said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:14
But they have built up a resistance by staring into the stoopid.
Anne Laurie said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:15
What will these dumbasses say when there is no longer an Arctic icecap and all the polar bears are in the zoo? When you can’t survive out of doors in Arizona in May through September and if you don’t live in an airconditioned bubble you perish?
Why, they’ll blame the scientists for not warning them that global warming might be a Bad Thing… just as those same dumbasses are now blaming us DFHs for not warming them that responding to Osama bin Laden by attacking Iraq might be a bad thing! Whatever happens, it’s the Smart Peoples’ fault, because you can’t expect the Dumbasses to understand anything more complicated than which way to put on their underpants!
That’s why “Dumbass” has become the default setting for the fReichtards, Talibangelicals, and Robber Barons who make up the modern Republican Party; half of them are too dumb to finish dressing themselves unassisted, and the other half claim they need velcro shoe fastenings just so they won’t have to take responsibility for their actions.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:18
Unfortunately, theoretical calculations show that the LHC could produce two kinds of dark matter—black holes and strange, ultradense quark matter—that are extremely dangerous, as both have been theoretically proven to swallow in a chain reaction the entirety of Earth.
!!!!l!
/Beavis and Butthead
Lex Exterior said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:20
Ahh, I received a comment about this Anchoress……some wanker I can’t identify left me a lovely comment bashing my refurbished blog and stating that “The Anchoress” makes he/she/it be proud to be a Catholic but I do not. Hmmm. I’m fairly devout for being such an against-the-grain girl, but I think the word he/she/it was looking for was “Pharisee”.
Isn’t this why we call it climate change in addition to global warming?
commie atheist said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:22
Yes, but if they escape to Alt-Earth-2 just before Earth-1 is consumed, there’s still a chance that Alt-Earth-2’s Nobel committee will overlook the complete destruction of Earth-1 and award them the prize anyway.
What?
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:22
I guess this makes Mr. Sancho is a ConCERN Troll.
.
.
.
.
.
.
[Coyotes howl]
Would you believe it’s funnier in German?
MileHi Hawkeye said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:27
“In related news Rev. Dobson reports that The Rapture will happen tomorrow when the Large Hardon Collider is turned on.”
Oh shit! I need to get the Rocky Mountain chapter of the Left Behind Looters and Pillagers on red alert.
If your business in looking to relocate, perhaps you’d be interested in a office complex with its own entrance ramp from I-25 and multi-story neon cross. Previous owner “relocated”. Terms available. Gay hookers, meth, dildos and wetsuits extra. Call today!
actor212 said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:33
Cuz it wouldn’t occur to Crittenden that global warming MIGHT trigger weather extremes that include cold?
Remember weather does NOT equal climate.
actor212 said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:33
Sarah Palin Nude?
A CERN scientist said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:33
everything is calibrated correctly
Our superconducting magnets go up to 11!
mikey said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:34
as both have been theoretically proven to swallow in a chain reaction the entirety of Earth.
Um, I know. I’m a wacky guy and all, but can I see this proof? Is that too much to ask?
Because none of the physics I’m familiar with lead to this conclusion.
You see, these are VERY small particles at VERY high energies, resulting in VERY small events. In fact, the detectors are designed to try to figure out which tiny fluctuation in energy and mass is worth recording, and which to ignore. Do you understand how sensitive these detectors need to be in order to even NOTICE these events you’re afraid might destroy the earth?
Look. This irritates me. I have a high school diploma, and a long history of substance abuse and incarceration. And I am able to understand high energy physics at least at a level to grasp why these modern day luddites are chicken little. Why is it too much to ask that people read a couple books?
I’m going to have a drink now…
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:34
Thus, a cosmological bomb billions of times more powerful than the atomic bomb might be created at the European Organization for Nuclear Research [CERN].
Will I have time to express gratitude?
elindie said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:34
for a perfect storm (ugh) of condescending know-nothingness on global warming, forget the almanac and leave it to the experts:
Friedman versus Easterbrook in the smackdown of pompous ignorance we’ve been waiting for!
http://www.slate.com/id/2199435/
J— said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:37
commie atheist: That sentence about the Nobel is my favorite.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:38
All this fiddling with a large hardon, and for what? Groping in the darkness to find some nice Higgs bosoms? I don’t know who Higgs is but that must one fine rack that scientists are risking the destruction of the earth just to maybe cop a feel. But that’s sceintists for you.
crazy jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:38
Actor, it is well known she is a nevernude
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:38
Why, they’ll blame the scientists for not warning them that global warming might be a Bad Thing…
Peggy Noonan said that explicitly: If the world goes belly-up because of unchecked climate change, it will be the fault of the scientists for not voicing their warnings loudly enough, allowing herself and her friends to drown them out.
It’s somewhere in the S.N! archives from 6 months or a year ago.
rotten mcdonald said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:39
a tumescence of dicks.
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:41
Here at Maison D’Etre, the Large Lardon Accelerator is an indispensable item of kitchen equipment.
Mauro said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:41
200-year-old formula? Well, hey, if it was good enough 200 years ago, it’s good enough for us now! Why, what could possibly have changed in the fields of climatology and geophysics? I’m sure the formula even takes into account the corrections for phlogiston.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:43
Please. It’s a bag of dicks.
rotten mcdonald said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:45
I believe that photo of actor’s is sarah Higgs
what with the bosoms and all.
A CERN scientist said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:47
Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator…
And step up the reactor power input three . more . points.
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:51
Please. It’s a bag of dicks.
I recall the original serving suggestion being a big bowl of dicks.
I’ll stick to popcorn.
mikey said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:52
My money’s on broken symmetry, force unification and quantum gravity.
Supersymmetry and string theory? Meh.
Not so much. “God did it” just doesn’t work for me as an answer.
I come only seeking knowledge….
mikey
ckc (not kc) said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:54
upon further reflection (and googling) – saccus penium might be authoritative (for you authoritarian types)
Righteous Bubba said,
September 10, 2008 at 3:54
C’mon, mikey, what could possibly suffice as an answer? It’s ever-weirder theories all the way down.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:03
Umm, yes they are – because it is. Oh wait, you’ve got links!
Numero Uno, a link to one of his articles which links Malkin which links…
a farce so debunked it has it’s own wikipedia page.
Numero Dué, Dr. William Gray – grand high poobah of hurricane forecasting. Five years older than McCain and getting old and cranky. Incidentally, this hardcore opponent of crazy global warming theories – acknowledges that we’ve had some warming the past 30 years. “I don’t question that,” he explains. “And humans might have caused a very slight amount of this warming. Very slight. But this warming trend is not going to keep on going. My belief is that three, four years from now, the globe will start to cool again, as it did from the middle ’40s to the middle ’70s.”
In other words, Jules found one real climate expert – in the sear yellow nonsense that George Will was talking about – his gut feeling is that it might get cold again, after he turns eighty – but acknowledges that global warming is 1 – real and 2 – potential anthropogenic.
Saul said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:04
Shalom, gentlemen.
crossbuck said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:08
Crittenden is about as scientific as Granny Clampett. Probably cooks a mean possum stew as he writes his science column. He just can’t take that mean cipherin’ so he uses the OFA and calls in the rainmaker when things ain’t a-goin’ so well.
I used to remember a time when a newspaper which purported to have a science writer would use someone who was at least passingly familiar with the science they wrote about, or just not write about it at all.
mikey said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:10
Yes, Bubba, but if the answer cannot be expressed with math, and measured and graphed and demonstrated and displayed and explained to your grammaw, I’m simply not on board.
Not “Branes”. Not “Strings”. Not Gravity leaks from the sixth dimension. It might be true, but if you can’t measure it and describe it it’s meaningless.
If you can explain why gravity works the way it does as a function of distance and the relative power of gravity and electroweak energy as a function of mass, and why gravity behaves the way it does at the planck length, then you can answer some very key questions. If you can somehow make the Standard Model work within the constraints of Quantum Mechanics, you have unlocked the secret of the universe.
My goodness. This is amazing. We are so close. We know so much, and the upcoming months will give us discoveries and understanding we could never have hoped to have. We canceled the supercollider. Because we can’t SEE what the future offers, only the past.
I’m fuckin excited. I’ve got a Large Hardon….
mikey
Gary Ruppert said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:10
The fact is, the Large Hardon Collider sounds really gay.
rotten mcdonald said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:12
I’m fuckin excited. I’ve got a Large Hardon….
We’re gonna need a bigger bag…
Doctorb said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:13
And step up the reactor power input three. more. Doritos!
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:13
Mikey, you’ve got a hadron. A Hardon is what Crit has. Ya geek.
(love ya.)
Righteous Bubba said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:17
Oh, I like the LHC and all, but there’ll always be more to figure out. How could there not be?
Jay Ambrose said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:17
I for one will happily devalue the work of at least some community organizers. Why are all of these people suddenly holy? I’ve known community organizers, and I believe some of them did more harm than good. We have no evidence that Obama achieved a thing in his stint.
Palin never gave her husband’s business an earmark, but Obama did that for the hospital system in which his wife worked. Maybe the anticipation was why the hospital sysrtem tripled her salary to over $300,000 after he was elected to the Senate.
Palin never spent two decades in a church that preached a socialist, essentially racist theology, and owes nothing in her political career to a Weatherman bomber who never said he was sorry. And doesn’t Obama say he believes in a creator God?
She never sat by as part of one of the country’s most corrupt political machines and said nothing, but instead took on the corrupt politicians in her party.
She never said she was against a surveillance law and voted for it.
She never said she was for public financing and then rejected it because there was more money to be had otherwise.
Conerning loyalty tests, do you remember Bill Clinton firing all those U.S. attorneys in the Justice Department? OK, that wasn’t Obama. But if you think he won’t fire a lot of Republicans in Washington and replace them with Democrats if he gets elected, you’re crazy.
She never promised to get rid of secret union ballots so that union organizers can browbeat people into voting for unions whether they want one of not.
Who do you think you are kidding?
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:23
Jay,
Where to begin… I have the feeling you will have your
bagbasketmurder of dicks handed to you on a plate soon enough by someone else here.rotten mcdonald said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:27
now THAT’S a concern troll
Our Dead Selves said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:31
Jay, no funny?
You disappoint.
Jay Ambrose said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:31
Concern troll. Right. Heard it all from liberals before, ho ho.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:32
She never returned that earmark money. She never sold that jet on Ebay.
Magic 8 Ball said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:33
Cannot foretell now.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:33
Hey I’m buzzed and not even trying. I barely pay attention. Cmon li’l fella.
Our Dead Selves said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:34
And were we even talking about Palin? I’m still thinking about bags of dicks and Large Hardons.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:35
she never eventually didn’t sell that jet to a campaign contributor. fucker.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:35
at a loss.
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:36
Life is like a bed of … No.
If life is like a bowl of … Hmmm.
When life hands you a bag of … That can’t be right.
Now I’m CERNfused.
Jay Ambrose said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:36
Ho ho, I see the liberals can’t even debate me, resorting instead to gibberish. Foolish, foolish liberals.
owlbear1 said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:38
Evidence!? You keep using that word…
Sporkey said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:40
Palin never spent two decades in a church that preached a socialist, essentially racist theology, and owes nothing in her political career to a Weatherman bomber who never said he was sorry.
No, she only was a member of a separatist group, the AIP, as was her husband. But see, that’s just white-wacky, not black-terrorist. TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
Oh, and her church had a guest speaker appear from Jews for Jesus, letting the congregation know that Jews will burn in Hell because they’re not Jews for Jesus. But it’s REALLY DIFFERENT.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:44
Sporkey,
You foolish, foolish liberal.
bad person said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:46
McMansions: She sold the state’s jet on ebay for a profit.
Real life: The jet was sold through a plane broker for $600k less than it was worth.
Jay Ambrose can’t handle the truth.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:46
Jay Ambrose said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:36
Ho ho, I see the liberals can’t even debate me, resorting instead to gibberish. Foolish, foolish liberals.
We outsourced our debating to Saul.
Take your complaints over to him.
Jim said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:47
DEAR SIR! I apologize for my tardiness! Please name your price for this magic coin! I will offer at least 38 Old Farmer’s Almanacs in trade.
bad person said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:48
The worst thing about the Large Hardon Collider is the residue of smegmu-mesons. They’re not toxic, just really gross.
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:56
Shit. My kid sister just called, wanting reassurance the LHC wouldn’t cause the Earth to collapse on itself.
I think she thinks I was laughing at her. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to explain what I was laughing about.
Nylund said,
September 10, 2008 at 4:59
It rained today. Surely this means it will continue to rain and a second biblical flood is upon us! Its scienterrific!
mikey said,
September 10, 2008 at 5:03
“Yo mikey. You asleep?”
“Hey Tom. Nope. Just trying,y’know?”
“You see that shit yesterday? Adams never had a chance. You carry anything, like, lucky or something?”
“Youngstah. Adams moved before he knew where the fire was coming from. He died because he was stupid”.
“No man, it was like, gods will or something. You don’t know”.
“Shit. You have to follow the rules. Not the rules the cap’n tells you. The rules the Sergeant tells you. ‘Cause if you break those rules, you die”.
“Fuck that, mikey. I’m gonna keep my rosary close to my heart and I’m going home in one piece”.
Historical note. I loaded Tom’s bagged body into a chopper in October of 1970. The thing that protects you, the talisman that saves you, is the knowledge you can gain from the guys that have been there and the Sergeants who know more about war than Jonah and Bobo will ever hope to pretend to know.
War is no different from work. It’s just that getting fired has consequences beyond looking for a new job….
mikey
Nylund said,
September 10, 2008 at 5:04
Can someone do a couple simple regressions and see if the farmer’s almanac is any more accurate than simply predicting the historical average for any given day? Heck, I’ll do it if someone sends me the data.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 5:06
But Mikey, have you heard that John McCain was a POW?
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 5:06
Nylund- see above. Coin toss.
mikey said,
September 10, 2008 at 5:07
Yep.
He’s a tough motherfucker with bad dreams.
He should no more be president than I should…
mikey
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 10, 2008 at 5:35
Pathetic, Failed Presidential Candidate Barack Obama To Win Presidential Election.
Nite, yolks!
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 5:40
thanx thunder. Nite.
Me said,
September 10, 2008 at 5:55
I believe the correct one is “basket of dicks”.
Sheaf of shlongs. Passel of peckers. Trestle of talliwhackers. Or tadgers.
A plethora of Percys. Okay, that last one doesn’t work so well.
jim said,
September 10, 2008 at 6:03
Jay Ambrose Says:
September 10th, 2008 at 4:17
Wow, look everyone, it’s Truthbot with an AI upgrade!
Nice generic talking-points there. Also nice job of completely avoiding the REAL do-nothing candidate, John Sidney McCain III – a wise move, since Fossil-Boy is the best refutation of the GOP since, well, his bum-buddy Bush.
Debate you, no. Compliment you for having some real cojones there – & tell you why you’re full of shit, yeah, I can do that for ya. Okay – got my hip-waders & noseplug in place – here you go …
Michelle Obama’s salary went up “in anticipation” did it now? Oh, how devastating. Nice to know that hospital boards are now psychic.
If Obama’s old church practiced “a socialist, basically racist theology” that’s news to me, & probably to its members as well. Actually, that phrase applies much much better to another crazy radical who acted both violently & repeatedly to oppose the religious mainstream in his local community, maybe you’ve heard of him – guy named Jesus Christ. He was MUCH more “socialist” than Wright will ever be – show me the videotape of Wright telling his flock to sell EVERYTHING THEY OWN. Dude should’ve changed his handle to Jesus-Tse-Tung!
If you didn’t hear Obama say anything in Chicago, that means he didn’t say anything, is what I think you meant to say next. If a neocon shovels bullshit on the Web, is there anyone there silly enough to buy into it? Sadly, yes.
Was Palin taking on that corrupt system when she took all that nice Bridge To Nowhere lolly? Or when she had her office remodelled TWICE in a row over a very brief period? Or was it when she repeatedly made McCain’s own “Pork List”? Or maybe looking at new suggestions, not based on their merit, but on whether she had political support from the person making them is “taking on corruption” now. You kids & your wacky new lingo these days!
She never said she was for OR against a surveillance law, because she likely never even knew there WAS one – if she had, the book-banning little harpy would’ve been all for it, which I suppose in your political vocabulary makes her a “straight-shooter” – just like good old Hermann Goering. Now THAT was a politician you could really sit down & have a beer with.
Uh, yeah, & thanks for bringing up firings of US Attorneys – like I said, BIG cojones. Feel them burning yet? Two words, asshat: Alberto Gonzales. I suspect you’ll find it a tad difficult to link HIM to Bill Clinton (who isn’t actually IN the 2008 POTUS race, you’ll be sad to know) but you sure are welcome to try.
Now … try telling us what Palin DID that’s worth a bucket of warm piss. Good luck with that – you’ll need a BIG horseshoe to pull out of your ass. Maybe you can also explain to all us deluded lefty-types why so many who’ve had to work with her in Alaska despise the woman, but are too terrified of retribution to speak out. Go for it, hot-stuff. We’re all ears here.
Who do you think you’re bloviating at?
The Gorton's of Gloucester Fish Sticks Guy said,
September 10, 2008 at 6:10
Red sky in the morning,
sailors, take warning.
Red sky at night,
afternoon delight.
Ayuh.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
September 10, 2008 at 6:25
mikey, as the typical English major with a Physics minor, I’d like to thank you for dealing with the energies involved. My head didn’t even get near to explodey because of your intervention.
Count me in on hoping we rip open a new asshole on that constant little bitch we call Gravity.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 6:30
fucking gravity. always bringing the room down.
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 6:57
When life hands you a bag of … That can’t be right.
That is why I am now wearing a cockade.
But Mikey, have you heard that John McCain was a POW?
When McCain is forced off the ticket
as the Alzheimer’s progressesto spend more time with his family, I’m sure the Republican party can find some other ex-prisoner of the Vietnamese to take his place.Apparently Gary Glitter is available.
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 6:59
I also want to say that if life gives you carbon, make Beef Carbonade!
Though with my culinary skills, it usually happens in the opposite direction.
Ted Williams said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:09
So, if you don’t want to freeze to death, you’d better sell your hybrid car and replace it with a Hummer.
grrr… hummer.
click the nym-link.
RobW said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:27
Dr. William Gray – grand high poobah of hurricane forecasting.
Dr. Gray! He’s OK! He’s got no fucking neck!
Oh, were we done with the Rocky Horror jokes? sorry.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:29
As Letterman said tonite, if you want to “take time off to be with your family” you’d better check with your family first.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:35
Who’s off the ticket frist, Cain or Mooselini? New Intrade category?
Incognito said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:36
Lipstick on a pig.
This is a brilliant little maneuver from Obama. He’s forcing the McCain camp to stuff is sexist when it’s clearly NOT. Tomorrow there should be an Obama ad up with video of McCain saying the EXACT same quote about HRC.
These ads write themselves. Just do a super cheap ad buy, but release it to the media so it gets a whole bunch of coverage.
It’s too easy.
jim said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:52
Now, I try to avoid ever saying this (when in doubt, bluster it out, I always say) but … damn, that’s a real stumper.
I worked out the one with the bag of grain, the goose & the fox in the little boat all by myself – but I may need to buy some time on Big Blue to nail this one. May even need to send away for some Siberian shaman-urine. I’ve heard good things about shaman-urine from Wall Street. Or I may just go & get one of those Magic 8-Ball gizmos. Neighbours might get a little antsy about the whole entrail-reading approach, so that’s out.
Unless they’ve finally found a way to reanimate Reagan, in which case they’ll BOTH bow out “to spend more time with my dysfunctional family” – & bring in Chuck Norris as VP.
? said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:53
Goddamn, mikey. I’m just a relative youngster who lurks around here, but as it is, you were in my fucked up techno-apocalyptic dream last night. And after your story about Tom you probably will be again tonight.
Anne Laurie said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:58
Here at Maison D’Etre, the Large Lardon Accelerator is an indispensable item of kitchen equipment.
Here at Mathom Haul, the Large Lard-On Accelerator is an indisposible item of all kitchen equipment, at least if the bathroom scale is to be believed.
Doctorb said,
September 10, 2008 at 7:59
No, you see, “taking on corruption in her own party” is technically true — it’s like this: Ted Stevens, way corrupt, yes? So he’s got a 527 advocacy group that supports his re-election. Rather than sit by and say nothing, Sarah Palin took on the role of director of corrupt politician Ted Stevens’ 527 advocacy group.
Doctorb said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:02
Red sky in the morning,
Ragnarok.
Red sky at night,
Ragnarok.
hamletta said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:05
Ha! We were just talking about the supercollider tonight at a party for my church choir. One of the guys in the choir is a physicist working on it (no, really!) He wasn’t there, but his wife was, and she explained what she’s picked up as a layman. (She’s a nurse practitioner.)
We were all joking about black holes that will swallow the universe.
Then we had cake.
SamFromUtah said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:08
Why is it too much to ask that people read a couple books?
I dunno. I find it completely incomprehensible, personally, as a compulsively literate sort. I can’t fall asleep at night without having read something. The biggest freakout I had about traveling to Asia was that I was illiterate as soon as I stepped off the plane – I didn’t see that coming, not down in my guts, and I about panicked when I realized I couldn’t read anything except a few little signs aimed at dumbshit tourists like me.
I had a coworker once who was a not-very-good reader. He got sincerely angry at a different coworker, because that guy had lent him Ender’s Game to read. What pissed him off? It was that he liked the book and was therefore forced to sit there and read it, day after day, and just that act of reading a novel cost him a terrible effort. What a way to live. Oh, and he was a total Bushbot. Draw what conclusions you will.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:09
We were all joking about black holes that will swallow the universe.
How do you know when you’ve found one?
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:09
I like cake.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:13
Steve Jobs’s Chocolate Syrup
Ingredients:
1 trout
1 bunch warm chocolate
2 ounces prune, pickled
6 sticks buffalo skull, barbecued
2 portions paprika
1 pound cilantro
Intoxicatingly begin praying. Separate trout fin from egg. Inflate egg. Stir the chocolate with the prune over medium heat in a bowl. Stuff the resulting goo into the trout. Grate the buffalo skull, paprika, and the cilantro inquiringly. Mush everything together injuredly. Roast for 74 hours. Serves 6 enemies with foulmouthed stomachs.
Doctorb said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:17
Hey, are you that Jay Ambrose?
Anyway, I sincerely hope that President Obama does fire a whole bunch of Republican appointees, particularly those snake-handling dominionist goofballs in the DoJ.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:22
I sincerely hope President Obama knows how to deal out wedgies.
islmfaoscist said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:23
Modern science with its puny “peer review” and “computer models” and “satellite data” will never penetrate the secret black tin box.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:26
Bubba,
ovacocabuffaprunacranioducken is my specialty.
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:40
Red eyes in the morning,
Too much akvavit last night. Again.
Smut Clyde said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:46
I worked out the one with the bag of grain, the goose & the fox in the little boat all by myself
I’m going to have to ask the Frau Doktorin for directions.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 10, 2008 at 8:47
I heard that Sarah Palin giggled when a homemaker embarrassed that flaming sad sack Mahatma Gandhi.
jane said,
September 10, 2008 at 9:10
Bubba,
Palihomeoflamosacostarvation is my hobby.
F'in Librul said,
September 10, 2008 at 10:27
Large Hardon Collider
COCKFIGHT!
Also, what does Amy Alkon think?
plague of kiwis said,
September 10, 2008 at 12:01
a parliament, or perhaps a senate of dicks
owlbear1 said,
September 10, 2008 at 12:26
that’s a lotta dicks!
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
September 10, 2008 at 12:57
I luuurve the fact people are freaking out about the LHC. Sorry, I think it is heeelarious that a person can [claim to] be convinced that other people about to DESTROY THE ENTIRE WORLD, so their reaction is to … whine.
I guess they think someone at the League of Justice will hear their wails of distress and do something about it.
Wankers.
Shit Mote in God's Eye said,
September 10, 2008 at 13:20
Is the OFA actually written by old farmers, who have received the secret formula from their fathers forefathers, down through time immemorial?
I thought everybody knew this… they use a proprietary astrological prediction model. So, a ’science writer’ is arguing that a scientific debate can be settled by models produced by astrology… I run out of adjectives that describe how stupidthatt is. Did this get published by the Herald?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
September 10, 2008 at 13:21
The physicists at CERN have seriously got to go and get themselves laid. Nevermind the doomsday device known as the Large Hardon Collider, would you believe the next device they’re planning is the CLIC?
Apparently, it is only a matter of time before TeV accelerators are grouped together as Particularly Energetic Nuclear Investigation Systems
El Cid said,
September 10, 2008 at 13:24
So, do people think that the high energy cosmic rays slamming into our Earth and Moon around the clock with more energy than may be produced by the LHC are constantly producing Earth-killing black holes which, um, get lost or something?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
September 10, 2008 at 13:26
An editorial board of dicks.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
September 10, 2008 at 14:37
“it would be irresponsible to dismiss the 8-ball’s power without further study.”
Let me get this straight. You’re saying we should “teach the controversy,” right?
Pere Ubu said,
September 10, 2008 at 14:41
I feel SOOOO vindicated.
Last night I was commenting on the start of the LHC and the idea that if reputable physicists (as opposed to German chemists) suggest that there’s a vanishingly miniscule chance anything bad could happen, we’re expected to flail our arms and scream and cry and shut the whole thing down, Yet if reputable scientists point to the ACTUAL threat of global warming, well, the science isn’t proven and there’s controversy about it and we should wait and see if anything happens before panicking.
Yep.
(You also have to love his whining about how “Euroweenies” are messing around with Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, instead of believing in good clean Creationism.)
lobbey said,
September 10, 2008 at 15:38
(You also have to love his whining about how “Euroweenies” are messing around with Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, instead of believing in good clean Creationism.)
I just love the ‘Euroweenies’ crack, just reeks of jealousy for our dope smoking, gay abortion, decent beer type of lifestyle.
Bizzaro Franklin said,
September 10, 2008 at 15:47
Conservatards are proof that Loki hates and wants us to suffer.
sagra said,
September 10, 2008 at 16:39
A lot isn’t enough. All, please!
sagra said,
September 10, 2008 at 16:55
a parliament, or perhaps a senate of dicks
Because you need a quorum before starting a session of sexual congress.
OneMan said,
September 10, 2008 at 17:36
“…jealousy for our dope smoking, gay abortion, decent beer type of lifestyle.”
Shit, lobbey, I’m jealous too. It makes me crazy to look across the pond and see you guys living a decent sort of life. WTF is wrong with us?
SamFromUtah said,
September 10, 2008 at 17:43
You’re saying we should “teach the controversy,” right?
Gimme a second … Signs Point to Yes.
SamFromUtah said,
September 10, 2008 at 17:47
…if you think he won’t fire a lot of Republicans in Washington and replace them with Democrats if he gets elected, you’re crazy.
What was that phrase again? “Serve at the pleasure of the President?”
Unless, of course, the president is a Democrat.
And wait’ll you hear the new Unitary Executive Theory!
Nimrod Gently said,
September 10, 2008 at 18:05
To be fair, there was a chance the LHC would kill us all. A very, very, very, very small chance, admittedly, but then I expect Crittenden is experienced with making very, very, very, very small things seem extraordinarily large. Probably just force of habit.
SamFromUtah said,
September 10, 2008 at 18:09
Crittenden is now worried that the Large Hardon, er, Hadron Collider will cause the end of the world.
A medieval mind is a scary place to live.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
September 10, 2008 at 20:19
“Gimme a second … Signs Point to Yes.”
I ain’t fakin’ – - whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on.
Johnny Pez said,
September 10, 2008 at 23:01
1. Carry goose to left bank.
2. Return to right bank.
3. Carry grain to left bank.
4. Carry goose back to right bank.
5. Carry fox to left bank.
6. Return to right bank.
7. Carry goose to left bank.
Handy-Tipps » Re: Handy-Schutz? Abschalten, wenn Handys neu gekauft werden sollen? - Handy-Schutz ferngesteuert said,
September 11, 2008 at 4:25
[...] Film / das Essen / die Vorstellung > > genießen. > > > Das kann man zwar schon heute haben, setzt aber einen > > leistungsstarken > > Sender bei 900 und 1800 MHz voraus, der während der gesamten > > [...]
Kip W said,
September 14, 2008 at 16:55
Another empirical test of the Old Farmer’s Almanac Predict-O-Trola 1865. With predictable results.
Billigflug said,
November 21, 2008 at 12:08
The whole topic was exaggareted too much. In my eyes it’s ok to live responsible but it’s ill to force us to drive hybrids.
Mother Fucker said,
March 4, 2009 at 10:34
Global warming is bullshit.