It could be Midge, it can’t be his father.

Mommy Midge once wrote an essay about homosexuals, and she included a bit about how she was grossed out when she saw guys on the beach with hair on their backs, which description Gore Vidal famously took apart in one of his essays.

So we know that neither parent has the phenotype for great amounts of body hair, if yuh know what I mean.

The other explanation would be, as we all know from folklore, when a pregnant woman is subjected to some physical shock or stress, said shock/stress is reflected in her infant, so perhaps it was unwise for Midge to take a day at the ocean that fateful summers’ day…………….

A car crash will draw a crowd, you know.

Assuming the Kinsey ratio of 10%, odds should be 50/50 that at least one of her five children is gay. Science seems to have a sense of humor when it comes to Evangelical families, however, so I would say that it approaches 100% certainty.

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2008/09/sarah-palin-is-not-hockey-mom.html

we see the concept expressed as a hockey analogy. For the most part, it works really well. Who doesn’t feel smug and smirky when a member of the home team delivers a well-aimed elbow when the ref isn’t looking? But when a member of the visiting team does the same, oh, the indignation!

Ms. Mooseburger clearly doesn’t have the skills to play on the first line with players who can really skate and shoot. Her paycheck depends on her ability to instigate trouble to annoy and distract the other team, and get them off their game.

Also, the home crowd is also the referee in this analogy. In fact, the home crowd is comprised of American voters. We’re the ones who determines who goes to the White House and who goes to the penalty box. What we are seeing here is that the GOP is betting that it can continue to use cheap shots to recruit enough voters afflicted with Teh Spite to send their team to the White House.

If enough of the American public are Teh Spite-ful enough to fall for the Republicans’ shenanigans, there’s not much we can do. “With Teh Spite, the very gods struggle in vain, as Schiller might say.

But I have to wonder whether or not the GOP really made a smart bet. Their tactics used to work in congressional races as well. They didn’t work in 2006 and they aren’t working in 2008. The Democrats are looking to pick up an additional 5 Senate seats and 10 House seats this election cycle. Is it the end of the line for Teh Spite in the presidential race as well?

Sorry to bore you – back to our regularly scheduled comedy.

DNA profiling would be a good idea at this point, just to clear things up.