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The Corner Speaks. The World Snickers.
ABOVE: What you saw (left) and what K-Lo saw (right)
As usual, the folks at America’s Shittiest Website™ have the trenchant commentary on Obama’s speech that we’ve come to expect of them:
K-Lo:
Normal Americans are telling me it was a “mean” speech.
Jay “What the Fig” Nerdlinger:
Biden … flashing those choppers. … gross.
Phil Gramm, “a nation of whiners” — go, Phil, go. Gramm has a better understanding of the nation, of the economy, and of people than Obama can presently hope for.
Victorites Davisopolous Hansenopita:
Zeus speaking through the naos, giving us divine guidance
Andy “Kill All The Mooslims” McCarthy:
I don’t think this is rose-tinted earplugs: LAME.
From a reader . . . “angry, nasty speech.”
Mark “Souter is a Sissy” Hemingway:
This soundtrack music is ridiculous.
Later in the day these folks will be singing the praises of Sarah “Mooseburger” Palin who is waaaay more experienced and waaay more ready to be President than Obama.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 29, 2008 at 17:56
Normal Americans are telling me it was a “mean” speech.
“If I say it was a mean speech will you get the fuck away from my hot-dog cart? And you owe me $12.”
actor212 said,
August 29, 2008 at 17:57
And is also three years younger!
Of course they’d think it’s a nasty speech! He’s not one of them!
Phil Gramm said,
August 29, 2008 at 17:58
I didn’t say “a nation of whiners,” I said “a nation of winos.” What is everybody’s PROBLEM?
Amy Alkon's Attention Meter said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:03
K-Lo’s “normal people” as exampled by Tory Boy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeLSNzEorbI
Lesley said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:04
damn you wordpress
example of one of K-Lo’s “normal people”
www
youtube.com/watch?v=SeLSNzEorbI
tigrismus said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:08
I’m voting for Baracus Obama, FOOL!
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:12
Mooseburger… that word is nearly as funny as shitmoat.
Ken Lowery said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:12
Nasty speech? Did they hear the same one I did? It was about unity, man. The only people he was knocking was Bush and co., but I guess these folks are so tied up in identifying themselves with people they will NEVER BE that they can’t tell the difference…
and didn’t Bush use that music in ‘04?
Marco said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:13
Like K-Lo knows normal.
Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:13
Hey, if “Normal Americans” means “Drooling bigots who can’t see skin darker than paste without crapping their pants,” then I’m sure K-Load is absolutely correct.
Legalize said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:17
If the wingers are whining about the big bad “mean” speech, this is proof to me that the speech was wildly effective. They have nothing to talk about, and Obama has effectively disarmed what they WANT to talk about.
SamFromUtah said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:17
Is there any doubt the Corner reviews were written before the speech even aired?
Ripley said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:18
Normal Americans are telling me it was a “mean” speech.
I notice she didn’t include herself in that demographic. God, she’s a worthless piece of something.
comsympinko said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:21
Want to take a dive through the looking-glass?
http://www.profootballtalk.com/category/rumor-mill/
Scroll down to the post entitled “A Brief Pause…,” a nice little thinker about the significance of the Obama nomination and the resonance of his acceptance speech with the anniversary of Dr. King’s speech.
Then read the comments.
Hoo boy. I love football, but Jeebus football fans are a bunch of stupid, right-wing morons.
Your Uncle Bastard said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:23
Indeed, it is central to K-Lo’s point that she disavows her own genitalia in favor of sweaty, fat-fingered Republican fluffing.
Gray Prubbert said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:24
Normal Americans ought to be telling her she’s about 300 lbs. overweight.
Blue Buddha said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:24
Actually, it’s almost the same exact stage that Bush used in ‘04… “ethinic” columns and all. You’d think the rightwingtard pundits would remember what their own motherf**king convention looked like four years ago.
JGabriel said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:26
Mark “Souter is a Sissy” Hemingway:
I hate to admit it, but Hemingway has a point.
Obama’s and Bill Clinton’s music cues were fine. I missed the Thursday night show except for Barack’s speech, so I can’t really speak to the music choices for that night.
But the rest of the convention? The music really did kind of suck. I’ve still got “I’m So Excited” and fucking “We Are Family” stuck in my head.
Off to put in some brain-scrub music like “Slanted & Enchanted”, or At The Drive In’s “Relationship Command”, or maybe John Zorn’s nearly unlistenable “Naked City”.
Yeah, that’s the ticket. “Naked City”. I need some serious noise to wipe that shit from the audio part of the brain-stem.
.
Dick said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:27
I think it is worse than that. I think they see Malcolm X all the time.
OneMan said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:29
So I posted this in the Palin thread below but it’s more fitting here:
Well McJowels did succeed in knocking Obama’s acceptance speech out of the news which is too bad.
However, Asshat Ponnuru brings the stupid as only he can.
“OMG he didn’t say he was raised in Indonesia and Hawaii!! He didn’t reveal that he was butt buddies with Bill Ayers and Rev. Wright! He’s a deceptive, bad politician!!one!1leventy!”
Oh and why TF is CBS linking to NRO?
Shit Moat Salesman, Conglomerated Shit Moat Sales, Inc. said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:30
“Mooseburger… that word is nearly as funny as shitmoat.”
Crack wise all you want, but Shit Moats pay the bills around here.
They truly do add a unique ambience to any property, an olfactory experience that says to the prospective vandal not only “Get Lost,” but also “I’m Fucking Crazy.”
Installation is included…could I take a few minutes of your time and show you some photos?
This is our most popular model, the Shit Mote Shit Moat in the Tuscany style, of course…
noen said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:35
You’d think the rightwingtard pundits would remember what their own motherf**king convention looked like four years ago.
Doesn’t matter, “America” can’t even remember last week. Rove counts on that and wins elections based on the fat that the America electorate has an IQ of 45 and thinks with it’s gonads.
Zifnab said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:35
Haha. An epic display.
Yeah, I’m really not surprised that “normal Americans” these shlubs talk to every day wouldn’t like the speech. Kinda like sending a member of the Klan to the million man march to take notes. “So, Billy Bob, what did you think? No, seriously, put down the lynch’n rope and give me your honest opinion.”
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:37
Legalize wins the internets with this:
They have nothing to talk about, and Obama has effectively disarmed what they WANT to talk about.
Marco said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:39
I really want to work for the NRO. You only have to burp up a fragment of total blind item nonsense to maintain a paycheck.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:42
Punctuates with its gonads, too.
goober said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:54
Umm, she’s not the Presidential candidate. She’s the Vice-Presidential candidate.
Big difference.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:56
Umm, she’s not the Presidential candidate. She’s the Vice-Presidential candidate.
Big difference.
Depends on the Ambien shenanigans.
goober said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:58
Shorter predicted Sadly,No! commenters:
“There is no difference between the Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidacy. Nope, not at all.
How, you ask?
SHUT UP, THAT’S HOW.
goober said,
August 29, 2008 at 18:59
Do I know you guys, or what? lulz
Sarcastro said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:00
Umm, she’s not the Presidential candidate. She’s the Vice-Presidential candidate.
Yes, the VP candidate for a man with a life expectancy of what? A week? Two?
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:00
Lot of pie-liking going on today. Mmm, delicious pie.
SamFromUtah said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:01
Umm, she’s not the Presidential candidate. She’s the Vice-Presidential candidate.
…who takes over if the President dies or becomes unfit for office. Like Bubba points out, there’s some good reason for concern there.
So to fix yer shorter, Goobs,
There is no difference between the Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidacy….in this case.
goober said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:01
Yes, the VP candidate for a man with a life expectancy of what? A week? Two?
Come on, Sarcastro. 70 is the new 60!
El Cid said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:02
Alex Castellanos (Jesse Helms’ “White Hands” commercial guy) has managed to appear on TV this morning after genuinely praising Obama’s skills in his speech last night to pointing out how Governor Palin is way different than Obama because she has executive experience, in terms of having been a mayor and then having been a governor for a year and a half.
See? Executive experience. Not just hanging out smoking dope with Bill Ayers. But Executiving a lot.
actor212 said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:05
goober said…
….ummmm, hmmmm, I can’t figure it out…does anyone speak Farsi?
SamFromUtah said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:07
See? Executive experience.
Heh, it’s always fun to watch the Redoublechins walk back their brain-dead-simple assertions to something that approximates nuance.
“Weapons of mass destruction-related program activities” comes to mind.
MzNIcky said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:12
70 is the new 60!
Wow. Now that is just pathetic.
D.N. Nation said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:12
McCain is 72 years old.
D.N. Nation said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:16
I will say this, goober crawls under my skin even more than The Truth does. The whole detached, too-cool-for-skool routine combined with astonishing arrogance hits my Pantload nerve big time.
So good for you, jackass.
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:20
Fun Facts:
1. McCain is something like 30 years older than the state of Alaska.
2. Palin sez “nu-kyu-lar.”
3. Her kids are named Willow, Track, Trig, Piper, and Bristol.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:21
I will say this, goober crawls under my skin even more than The Truth does.
Were you Coach Urban Meyer? I liked the Poochie influence.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:21
Nerdlinger forgets the narrative for a minute:
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MmNkZmY5NDIyOTIyYmFlOTJkZGMyYjk4ZmU2YjE0OTQ=
Seriously – Obama’s speech was good enough to turn Pat Buchanan into a enthused Obot, fucking Bill Kristol thought it was “awfully impressive” and not in his usual “Dem’s are teh ghey” kinda way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-nXz9FV-Yg
I mean WTF?! That acceptance speech kicked ass and took names, which it then kicked in the ass. The only thing that would have made it better would have been the orange top hat.
Strong Persuader said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:23
I don’t think this is rose-tinted earplugs
The metaphor, she’s broken.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:24
The only thing that would have made it better would have been the orange top hat.
There was an orange pantsuit handy.
The Reality-Based Dave said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:28
KLo: “Normal Americans are telling me it was a “mean” speech.”
Pantload: “From a reader . . . “angry, nasty speech.”
Can’t resist…
No. No. Must not…
YES DAMMIT.
Seems to me that KLo & Pantload are locked in a 69!
EEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
actor212 said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:35
3. Her kids are named Willow, Track, Trig, Piper, and Bristol.
What road signs was she banged under?
I’ll take idiotic Republican names for $400.
sagra said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:39
“Biden … flashing those choppers. … gross.”
Elitist! No one in the heartland can afford proper dental hygiene!
Speaking of Biden. Was that Biden’s granddaughter sitting behind him? Poor kid. She was sooooooo bored.
Clif said,
August 29, 2008 at 19:59
WTF, did she name her kids after sled dogs?
A Waitress said,
August 29, 2008 at 20:31
John McCain pie. Vanilla pudding, with vanilla wafers, bananas, and lumps of broccoli bushes. Serve with gravy on a flag plate.
Sled Dogs said,
August 29, 2008 at 20:33
Did she name her kids after supernatural tv characters and a track in Bristol?
jim said,
August 29, 2008 at 20:33
“Rose-colored earplugs” is one of those boomerangs in the shape of a mushroom-cloud, I take it.
Any Beatnik would pawn their sax & give away their reefer to make that little sense.
UH-oh … KRISTOL liked the speech?
Cause for concern – if he says it’s sunny out, take an umbrella.
For filing under “OT trivia” – I loved loved LOVED mooseburger when I had it as a young lad. Made the parentals deathly sick, though. Kids will eat anything that’s either motionless or tied down, & as long as it isn’t too “good for you” they’ll love it.
Willow, Track, Trig, Piper & Bristol – oh, the poor little buggers.
I’d feel guilty giving PETS names like that.
Not all child abuse is physical.
There’s a couple who’ve bought themselves some serious elder abuse, that is, if their brood lets them stay alive that long.
Sarcastro said,
August 29, 2008 at 20:43
And Obama has a funny name?
Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,
August 29, 2008 at 21:04
Is Trig a diminutive of Trigger? Trigonometry?
handy said,
August 29, 2008 at 21:07
Well, she sure is hitched to a dog of a candidate, now…
bu-dum-bum!!!
Yes, thank you, thank you. I’m here every Tuesday night. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
Sled Dogs said,
August 29, 2008 at 21:12
Ah, evidently Trig is a baby (born 2008) with “special problems.”
But what is a woman with five children, one of them probably handicapped in some way, doing running for vice president? Isn’t that against the Republican Commandments?
Susan of Texas said,
August 29, 2008 at 21:12
Poop. That was me.
Susan of Texas said,
August 29, 2008 at 21:14
Downs syndrome.
Susan of Texas said,
August 29, 2008 at 21:14
correction, Down Syndrome
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 29, 2008 at 21:16
You know how the nutters are joking about whether the guy who did the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremonies was involved in Obama’s speech? via Atrios:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080829/ap_en_tv/cvn_obama_s_audience_1
Doctorb said,
August 29, 2008 at 22:55
Man, the Corner is like Twitter for Assholes.
I tried reading it once directly, without Sadly, No!, and it just made my brain hurt.
Doctorb said,
August 29, 2008 at 23:02
Willow, Piper and Bristol are nice names. If Trig’s middle name is Sohcahtoa or something then that’s really cool too. Track … well, I’m sure it’s a tough name to make fun of without sounding stupid:
Hey Track, where’s Field? Go run around yourself or I’ll beat the crap out of you!
Alan Arkin said,
August 29, 2008 at 23:04
This Palin woman should be ashamed of herself, squeezing out litters of oddly-named children she can’t care for because she’s buy getting executive experience as governor of Alaska which is right next to Russia so you know she’s often engaging in tough diplomacy argharghargh
Susan of Texas said,
August 29, 2008 at 23:32
I’m sure evangelicals will be delighted that a woman was chosen to be one choleric rage episode away from ruling every man in the country.
sagra said,
August 29, 2008 at 23:51
“Man, the Corner is like Twitter for Assholes.”
Tooter?
Dr Zen said,
August 30, 2008 at 2:50
She called her daughter “Bristols”? Are you fucking kidding me? Doesn’t she know any rhyming slang?
Smut Clyde said,
August 30, 2008 at 3:03
That’s what Hollywood celebrities are like, Dr Zen — always giving their kids ridiculous names.
I find myself wondering what other names were on the short-list. De Havilland? Lancaster? Gulfstream? Viscount?
Anonymous said,
August 30, 2008 at 4:54
She called her daughter “Bristols”? Are you fucking kidding me? Doesn’t she know any rhyming slang?
=====
Actually, she changed it when she got the nod from the McCain folks. Used to be Berkeley, but they were worried that Grumpy Unkie might have another trollop-mouth episode.
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
August 30, 2008 at 13:43
But Fundies preach that women are subservient to their husbands, so it will really be a super-bad snowmobile racing dude who calls the shots!
JET said,
August 31, 2008 at 6:12
Has anyone told Nordlinger that “presently” =/= “now”?
Kip W said,
September 4, 2008 at 4:51
That’s so cute! K-Lo and J-Dough have the same reader!