Aug
28

Hussein X Accepts Your Nomination




Posted at 6:13 by Gavin M.

I swear, every time you nip off to the store for a quart of milk, you come back to find that they’ve whooped up another one.

The Greek Temple thing has been wafting around the blogs for a little while, and it’s so far beyond the usual, day-to-day right-wing flapdoodle that it seems to have rendered John Hinderaker almost funny.* Now the GOP, apparently running low on ideas and messages or something, has taken it up as an actual complaint.

The ever-wise Jesse at Pandagon issues a plea:

Funkdaddy Supreme’s House O’ Speech

[...]

What is the proper method for such a presumptuous man as this to accept the nomination of his party? It’s obviously not in any way that a Republican would accept it, because the very acts of hubris that make a man like Obama a foppish dandy dippily doodling his way along to the Oval Office are tamed and converted into powerfully heterosexual normality by the sheer pulsating power of Reaganism. Shall Obama accept the nomination on an upscaled corner stoop, James Clyburn and Maxine Waters shuffling by with a curt, respectful head nod? Should the nomination of the first major party black candidate in America’s history happen in a gloriously reimagined welfare line, where a dolled-up John Kerry dressed as Uncle Sam hands him the welfare check of the $400,000 a year Presidential salary?

Please, you heartland patriots, design the Black Liberal’s Acceptance Speech. And don’t skimp on the Black Power salutes, either.


Above: The moment we’ve all been waiting for


* Oops, we spoke too soon — Hindy copied it from the zany jokesters in the McCain campaign. [Hanx! Doctorb]

105 Comments »

  1. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:22

    …maybe we can hope for a wardrobe malfunction…

  2. Jennifer said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:22

    Ok, I haven’t even read the post yet, but I love you for using a pic from Idiocracy, which I just saw last weekend and at the time thought it wasn’t all that great of a movie, but which continues to crack me up every time I think about it.

    Now I’ll go read the post.

  3. Ferox said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:24

    Did you know there are people (real, actual people that I’ve talked to) who don’t like that movie?

    At least two of them live right here in Indiana. It’s SHOCKING.

    Also, I think that Jesse’s parachuting in from a blimp wearing an orange hat is a good idea as well.

  4. Doctorb said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:29

    If Assrocket is almost funny, it’s only because he’s quoting some unknown Republican humorist. Those toga pics were on McCain’s website.

    Stress-free scholarship, it is.

  5. Jennifer said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:30

    Ferox - well, it’s not a great movie. A lot more could have been done with the premise. But there’s lots of little stuff in it that’s just hilarious.

  6. Cletus von Clausewitz said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:30

    Just put Obama in a flight suit and have him land in the fake helicopter used in Miss Saigon. There’s no irony that wingnuts can ever understand. However, it would make the wingnuts heads explode, if after the speech, during the midst of the five minutes of applause, Barack picks up one of the greek columns and carries it to the other side of the stage. No reason, he just does it. Huge huge laugh.

  7. Doctorb said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:31

    Erm, yes, Hindrocket was quoting the toga stuff from a McCain website I think. Stress free scholarship and all that.

  8. Ferox said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:31

    It’s not a great movie like Office Space isn’t a great movie. The part of our normal brains that’s used to create coherent, linear plots? Mike Judge scooped that out to make room for the cupcake.

  9. Doctorb said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:32

    wordpress can eat a bag of dicks.

  10. Doctorb said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:33

    Oh yeah that’s great, wordpress, delay my comments so it looks like I’m the dick. Passive-aggressive mamby-pamby razzm frazzm flim flam blim blam flarn filth flarn…

  11. justme said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:37

    TOGA!

    TOGA!

    TOGA!

    TOGA!

    Senator Blutarsky would approve.

  12. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:39

    Whoah, John Hinderaker was just reciting off McCain campaign talking points! Color me [adjective deleted] surprised.

  13. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:39

    Republicans will regret their mockery when Obama calls the lightning down upon them.

  14. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:40

    Righteous Bubba said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:39

    Republicans will regret their mockery when Obama calls the lightning down upon them.

    Ramen.

  15. Brandi said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:42

    Did Idiocracy ever give any shout-out, either in the credits or in the form of an in-film gag, to CM Kornbluth?

  16. Some Guy said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:44

    Hmmm… Do you think maybe there’s a way to work in that scene from Mars Attacks where the black guy dressed as a roman guard boxes the Martian leader?

    I am calling YOOOOOOOUUUUUUOOOOOOUUUOOOOOUUUOOOOOOOOOOUUUU!!!!

  17. ron said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:50

    idiocracy isnt a movie, its prophecy.

  18. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:50

    That ‘The One’ ad - [adjective deleted] ridiculous. I know this is a dumb game, but imagine the outrage if someone were to say “you can’t vote for McCain because he thinks he’s God.”

    The ad is [adjective deleted] over the [adjective deleted] top - but it’s okay because [adjective deleted] Mavericky McPOW-POW-POW is “running an honorable campaign”. [verb deleted] me with a [adjective deleted] [noun deleted].

    I [adjective deleted] swear, if I had the chance to ask McCain just one question it would be face or gut “Do you actually believe that Barack Obama thinks of himself as Jesus or is your ‘The One’ ad just a big steaming pile of [adjective deleted] bullshit?”

    Actually I’d probably come up with a better question than that (such as “You say that your comment about 100 years in Iraq is taken out of context and that the important issue is casualties - in that case Senator McCain, how many more casualties until we can withdraw from Iraq”), but it’d make my top ten for sure.

  19. mantis said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:54

    President…Dwayne…Elizondo…Mountain Dew…Herbert…Camacho

    Obama

  20. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:54

    Shite Pyss Phuck Kunt Koksucker Mutherphucker and Tyts.

  21. Some Guy said,

    August 28, 2008 at 6:57

    Silly Wangchuck. Republicans are the only ones who are allowed to think they’re they’re the One True Savior and/or have a direct like to GodCo. Democrats who do that aren’t worthy of your vote.

    It’s like how Republicans are automatically assumed to love America 1,049%. Democrats have to PROVE IT in the Ring of Trials, like when Kirk and Spock had to fight to the death.

  22. handy said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:02

    You guys crack me up. I love it. It helps me cope with the chuckle-nuts bobble heads I suffer through doing the convention “analysis.”

  23. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:03

    Quatloos! My Himalayan Bhutanese kingdom for quatloos!

  24. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:03

    Hey, everybody!

    I just flew in from vacation, and boy are my arms tired.

    Did I miss anything?

  25. justme said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:08

    Oh, crap.

    I made my comment before actually reading the linkedrivel. Wow. They are really trying to give a toga chant legs? I wonder if we can get the same young Republicans that were so wonderfully captured on video outside a Santorum Event chanting “Hey ho, hey ho, social security has got to go!” to give us their rendition.

  26. Kathleen said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:12

    there is nothing too stupid that Republicans won’t say.

  27. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:15

    Oh wait, that wasn’t the quatloo episode. That’s the one where Spock hits puberty and Carol Decker makes them fight to the death soundtracked by the greatest music ever composed.

  28. Fozzetti said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:22

    Wait till Obama’s elected and the retardoCons will predict White House functions serving fried chicken and watermelon. Of course Bush served hamburgers and BBQ, but that’s different: he wasn’t a *real* Texas cowboy.

  29. Jazzylady said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:36

    I can’t wait. I’m sorry, but if he thinks that looks dignified, take another look! As a former democrat turned independent, I am ready to rock and roll with laughter at this hoked up mess he’s concocted. This man was not even on the continent when your relatives were calling me nigger, nigger bitch, go home nigger, black nigger and whatever else they could think of to call me. He did not live in poverty as he claimed, and nor did the little bitch receive foodstamps, the damned liar. Food stamps was just an experiment back then. And have you all forgotten all the other things he has(n’t) done? Please! Give me a break. Lazy, damned do nothing liar is all that he is. Oh, but don’t worry, if he loses the preskinggodhood you can blame it on Hillary, that bitch is good to be blamed for anything you damned idiots please.

  30. Some Guy said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:42

    …Anyone wanna translate what Jazzylady just said?

    How about Pluto Nash? I didn’t actually see it, but there’s gotta be something useful in that one.

  31. Dick Durata said,

    August 28, 2008 at 7:59

    Jesse’s post is perfected with the addition of your pic, Gavin.

  32. islmfaoscist said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:11

    Ow! My Balls!

  33. Henry Holland said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:12

    …Anyone wanna translate what Jazzylady just said?

    I’ll try: Obama han’t struggled like I’ve struggled, motherfuckers, it’s all a front, so I’m going to vote for Ralph Nader.

    Is that close, JazzFusionlady? It’s a pretty good rant but that Hillary reference gives the game away at the end: I’d say it’s one of the TalkOutOfTheirAssesLeft loons.

  34. aw said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:14

    I am a troll, please spend the rest of the thread talking about me.

  35. jim said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:14

    After what I’ve seen so far, a set of Parthenon-style columns are going to look pretty prosaic & mellow … I mean, I know politics is show-biz & all, but JEEZUS H. MURPHY, they really punched the “Glitz” button up to 12 for the Dems’ shindig. It smells expensive as hell & looks ugly.

    Not smart. Not smart at all.

    Anyone that really thinks the whole “Hollywood Awards Show” motif is going over like gangbusters out in West Palooka County needs to give their head a shake. Also a bit shudder-inducing to think how much they’re blowing on said shindig - either they really truly do have this race sewed up tighter than a nun’s hoo-hoo in January, or that’s a buttload of campaign moolah that could be used to take the other side out, being blown on a big fat circle-jerk.

    I’d worry more about the price-tag on those columns than whether or not a few whiny wingnuts think they’re too pretentious. The last thing Dems need right now is to be giving off the image of pitching money around like a lumberjack who just cashed his paycheck - that’s throwing John Sidney Wet-Start The Third a life-preserver.

  36. islmfaoscist said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:20

    Anyone that really thinks the whole “Hollywood Awards Show” motif is going over like gangbusters out in West Palooka County needs to give their head a shake.

    Missed the whole thing, didn’t you?

  37. Amy Alkon's Testicles said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:35

    Stop!

    Amy-time!

  38. The Truth said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:39

    I think the Democrats are having a wonderful convention. Kerry, Hillary, Bill, Ted, Michelle - what a gallery of drunks and losers.

    So far Michelle’s “Why I Love America and My Family” speech is topping the list on laughability, with Hillary’s stage managed submission coming in a close second. Wait a minute - is Jimmy Carter talking? It is to be amused.

    Thanks, liberals. I always knew McCain was going to win, but apparently you’ve decided to give in now. We are all very proud of our affirmative action candidates.

  39. lobbey said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:47

    Hey towwwphie, we feel the love, now cut out the crack, it does you no good, man.

  40. Euripedes said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:58

    shorter jazzlady: Help! Fully paid up members of the ruling class are being oppressed!

  41. Mysticdog said,

    August 28, 2008 at 8:59

    I loved Idiocracy, there were so many little things going on in it. I still laugh every time I go by a Starbucks… Gentleman’s Latte. St. God’s Memorial Hospital (running down the side of the building because they couldn’t plan to get the letters on straight). The crashed plane still stuck in the giant Costco. The fastfood-style keyboard for the hospital receptionist. H&R Block’s tax preparation with full release… “We were thinking you could all go at her… you know, family-style”…

  42. Djur said,

    August 28, 2008 at 9:07

    Perpetual shorter Twooth: Can’t you see that man is a ni–?

  43. Lesley said,

    August 28, 2008 at 9:34

    The guy firing the gun is Michelle though right?

  44. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    August 28, 2008 at 11:24

    “what a gallery of drunks and losers”

    That is no way for a conservative to talk about the Bush family.

  45. SolidPhil said,

    August 28, 2008 at 11:26

    Idiocracy is a documentary.

  46. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    August 28, 2008 at 11:27

    Teh Big Dog in re Obama: “He has the intelligence and curiosity every successful president needs.”

    Haha! That’s right about the time that lil’ Georgie Bush started firing his pistol at the TV in the White House.

  47. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    August 28, 2008 at 11:32

    More Large Dog:

    to be fair to all the Americans who aren’t as hard-core Democrats as we, it’s a philosophy the American people never actually had a chance to see in action fully until 2001, when the Republicans finally gained control of both the White House and the Congress.

    Then we saw what would happen to America if the policies they had talked about for decades actually were implemented. And look what happened.

    They took us from record surpluses to an exploding debt; from over 22 million new jobs to just 5 million; from increasing working families’ incomes to nearly $7,500 a year to a decline of more than $2,000 a year; from almost 8 million Americans lifted out of poverty to more than 5.5 million driven into poverty; and millions more losing their health insurance.

    Now, in spite of all this evidence, their candidate is actually promising more of the same.

    No wonder “truth” is crapping his pants. The most popular ex-president in history just gutted his pet revolution.

  48. sightunseen said,

    August 28, 2008 at 11:34

    I love ‘Idiocracy’ also. I never could figure out the Starbuck ‘hand job’ riff though.

    And the movie is filled with ’so many little things’ that I just love. I sometimes watch it just to see the stage sets,,so much subtle detail went into the creation of the physical comedies.

    And the fact that it received scant advertising makes me like it that much more. They really skewered Faux News. One of my fav parts are the newscasters from Faux. After showing the cleavage of the young pretty bubbleheadbleachblonde, they showed an over-the-hill on-the-scene reporter with middle-aged-cleavage spilling out.

    Anyone want to help me out on the Starbuck thing?

  49. Just Alison, without Qetesh said,

    August 28, 2008 at 11:48

    Haven’t seen Idiocracy, but sounds an awful lot like The Marching Morons. Except Kornbluth didn’t play for laughs. Damn fine writer, though. Damn fine.

  50. Just Alison, without Qetesh said,

    August 28, 2008 at 11:48

    I am beloved of WordPress. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

  51. Thursday said,

    August 28, 2008 at 11:54

    “PREZ!”
    “You’re damn right…”
    “No one understands him but his cabinet…”

    Best inauguration music EVER!

  52. El Cid said,

    August 28, 2008 at 12:05

    sightunseen: Joe (Not Sure) later sees in the giant CostCo that many of the chains he was familiar with (Starbucks, H & R Block, etc.) have become sex shops. Starbucks is mentioned because (a) they’re everywhere, just like here, and (b) Joe (Not Sure) really wanted a cup of coffee.

  53. El Cid said,

    August 28, 2008 at 12:16

    Clearly the wingnuts would have considered any possible set for Obama as disingenuous unless it directly lived up to their most lurid fantasies, including Indonesian Muslim jihad themes, surrendering to Al Qa’ida / France themes, Black Panther / Nation of Islam revolution hate whitey themes, fancy-prancy pagan worship of Mother Earth / hippie / Al Gore themes… You get the picture.

  54. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 12:53

    aw,
    I can’t believe that man. You have the nerve to go and beg for attention. That’s unseemly. Plus your positions? Pffft. What in the world do you possibly mean. Seriously, grow up.

    Shorter aw:
    I…

    And now I’ll followup with a bunch of links that demonstrate the wrong-ness of your position:
    [link 1]
    [link 2]
    [rickroll]

    So, what do you have to say for yourself now?

  55. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 28, 2008 at 13:04

    Maybe the RePubs would be happy if the Dems designed a giant public mens room with a Coloreds Only sign on the door.

    Except you might have trouble keeping former McCain campaign manager Bob Allen out of there…

    OK, what about a set that resembles the back of a giant bus?

  56. El Cid said,

    August 28, 2008 at 13:05

    I think if Obama’s set were to be themed around electing John McCain, Republicans, and Right Wing Jesus, they might find it acceptable.

  57. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 28, 2008 at 13:17

    The fact is, concern. Elitist arrogant muslim-black power leftist, presumptuous arrogant greek coronation of media bias. Here in the Heartland, NASCAR, freedom USA-power free markets REAL Americans stay the course safe regular folks.

  58. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 13:19

    I was going to stop, but this aw (more like awwwwww, poor Princess Muffin), I just can’t let it stand. You want a fisking? Well a fisking we will go:

    I

    WTF?! Too hoighty toighty fussy dussy for lower case letters? And we’re the elitists? Hrmf.

    am a troll,

    I’m so sure. Where’s your bridge? Where’s your giant hair?
    PROTIP: Blackface ain’t funny, neither is fake trollery.

    please spen

    And now your capitalist agenda comes out. Well the rest of the freaking country worships the God of Consumerism - take it there.
    <the rest of the thread talking about
    You know - all of you do this. First Troofy, then Jay B. and now aw. We don’y care if you don’t think it’s funny.

    me

    All about you huh? Who do you think you are, An Outhaus?

    PS (for aa’sballs): I spend several hours of my very precious time every [expletive deleted] month throwing children off of bridges. What have you done for trolls lately?

  59. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 13:21

    Shoot, I don’t know what happened to the third quote there. It’s just that aw grates on my nerves so much it messes up my tpynig skilllls.

  60. El Cid said,

    August 28, 2008 at 13:22

    Just Alison: Several viewings of Idiocracy manages to convey the desired end-point world of the populist right wing better than any serious dystopia ever has.

  61. Fats Durston said,

    August 28, 2008 at 13:36

    Re: Funkdaddy

    Well, they did play “Love Train,” to harken us back to DFH and early 70s economic doldrums.

    Of course, I’d prefer some other form of locomotion, like say, “Love Rollercoaster,” or even “Truck Turner.” Followed by “(For God’s Sake Give More) Power to the People,” “Chocolate City,” and wrapping up with “One Nation Under a Groove.”

  62. javafascist said,

    August 28, 2008 at 14:08

    As amusing as it is watching the rightwing-Depends-freakout over candidate Obama, I have already started buying my popcorn now for when he names Chuck D head of Homeland Security and Ice T head of the CIA. The next 8 years are going to be awesome.

  63. Smut Clyde said,

    August 28, 2008 at 14:15

    Of course, I’d prefer some other form of locomotion,
    I would have gone for “Locomotive Breath” myself, which is one more reason why I am not invited to organise party conferences.

  64. fauxmaxbaer said,

    August 28, 2008 at 14:21

    Hinderaker links to a Krauthummer column that’s idiotic by any standards. The commenters let him know it pretty well, too. One of my favs:

    That’s right Mr. Krauthammer - Obama is participating in a big event both parties throw every four years called a CONVENTION.

  65. Masson’s Blog - A Citizen’s Guide to Indiana » Sadly, No on Obama said,

    August 28, 2008 at 14:43

    [...] No on Obama By Doug Sadly, No gives us a visual for a wingnut’s view of [...]

  66. Jennifer said,

    August 28, 2008 at 14:48

    I didn’t think it was possible, but these guys are coming off as even more pathetic sore losers than they did when Clinton owned them. Twice. Deprived of their usual free (dare I say liberal) application of teh fear of brown people - which is a bit trickier to pull off when your opponent is one - and of that other old standby - “but…but…but…the SIXTIES!!! DIRTY F***ING HIPPIES!!!” - they are reduced to whining about stage decor. Not that they aren’t trying to use the only tools they’re comfortable with to turn this thing around…did anyone else here read the pitiful press release they put out yesterday, about how this is the 40th anniversary of William Ayers’ arrest for protesting at the 68 Dem convention? The Obama campaign response was short and succinct - a picture of a 7-year-old Barack Obama playing baseball, with the one sentence riposte: “In 1968, Barack Obama was 7 years old.”

    Which translates as, “get a life, old man.”

  67. Snarki, child of Loki said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:02

    So the greek columns aren’t supposed to invoke the front portico of the Lincoln Memorial, on the anniversary of MLK’s “I have a dream” speech?

    Yeah, that Lincoln. Crypto-liberal! Must have been a Democrat, I tells ya.

  68. Ugly In Pink said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:05

    Idiocracy - meh. One, too many stupid people, so not enough opportunity for interesting/witty dialogue. Two, unbelievably sexist. The second smartest person in the world gets to be…a wife. While the vice president is a drooling retard.

  69. dbati said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:05

    FÜCK Wordpress

  70. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:10

    BWAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA111!!one

    Oh man. BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Krauthammer accusing Obama of imperialism? just a sec…

    HAHAHHHAHHA–BWAAA HA HA aHA HA!

  71. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:18

    From the Jesse Taylor pandagon piece:

    If he takes it to Invesco Field and parachutes in from a blimp and starts shooting streamer guns into the audience in a giant orange top hat, it would be compared to the awesomest shit that ever happened.

    Amen.

    And then the pillars open up and bikini-clad-go-go-booted-big-haired fly girls come prancing out - and then Michelle Obama rolls in on a Harley, with an M-60 strapped to her back and she says something really emasculating - and then Barry grabs the M-60 and it turns out to be AN ELECTRIC [expletive deleted] GUITAR!!!!

  72. actor212 said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:26

    He needs to come down the aisle of Invesco Field to the stage wearing the Apollo Creed outfit from Rocky, tossing those new gold dollars into the crowd, step up on stage and start shuffling and dancing around, like he’s warming up for his fight.

    A giant poster of McCain would then unfurl, and Obama would point and go “YOU! I WANT YOU!”

    Michelle could come out as the ring card girl, in a one piece by La Blanca and Jimmy Choos.

  73. actor212 said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:29

    Oh, but don’t worry, if he loses the preskinggodhood you can blame it on Hillary, that bitch is good to be blamed for anything you damned idiots please.

    Lady, I was deep enough in Hillary’s pocket to count pubic hairs.

    You nuts, girl!

  74. Malfunctioning The Truth Robot said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:31

    Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Michelle Obama! Can’t you see what a big issue Michelle Obama is? After all, I’m talking about it, so that means people are talking about it!

  75. Fats Durston said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:36

    Chuck D head of Homeland Security

    I believe that job belongs to the S1Ws.

    And I think Chuck mighta said something about govt work once…

    I got a letter from the government
    The other day
    I opened and read it
    It said they were suckers
    They wanted me for their army or whatever
    Picture me given a damn - I said never

  76. D.N. Nation said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:36

    Ahh, Chuckles K. The greater of the two Chuckles, but beating out Chuckles J. isn’t really worth writing home to mom over.

    Or maybe he’ll just do a Napoleon and coronate himself.

    Aww. Cry about it, you imperialistic, warmongering wuss. After carrying water and putting band-aids all over Mr. Decider-Guy, you have the nerve to whine about Democrats celebrating Democrats? Waah, waah, waah. Boo hoo hoo.

    I am so looking forward to the GOP convention, when these dorkuses have to live through back-to-back nights of Bush and Cheney speeches. Oh yes, we’re the presumptuous ones. I’m sure Bush won’t gloss all over his Worst Presidency Ever, and I’m sure that you won’t say how much this country is gonna miss the West Texan(TM). Right. I’m sure you won’t be presumptuous at all.

    Morons.

  77. D.N. Nation said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:41

    And as much as I lo-ho-ho-hoathe linking to Shakesville, let this be the ultimate answer to GOP whining over Obama’s stage.

  78. Jennifer said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:47

    One of the things I loved about Idiocracy: the morphing of Fuddruckers into Buttf***ers, complete with the little kids having a birthday party there. (shakes fist at WP)

  79. Dave said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:48

    Gosh, it’s not like the Greeks are associated with democracy or the founding of the philosophy that eventually inspired the Founding Fathers…

    If this is the best the GOP has, McCain is going to get his clock cleaned come debate time. And that is where these elections are decided, not the conventions.

  80. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 28, 2008 at 15:55

    McCain is going to get his clock cleaned come debate time. And that is where these elections are decided, not the conventions.

    The elections are decided via electoral votes. Al Gore won the debates and won the popular vote.

  81. Mr. Wonderful said,

    August 28, 2008 at 16:02

    Shite Pyss Phuck Kunt Koksucker Mutherphucker and Tyts…

    How may I direct your call?

  82. El Cid said,

    August 28, 2008 at 16:09

    Conservatives & Republicans are the guardians of Western Culture and Western Values against the Islamosexual Caliphate, but all that damn Greek looking stuff is gay & sh*t.

  83. El Cid said,

    August 28, 2008 at 16:11

    I don’t know what to say about “the debates”, because a lot of people in 2004 thought Bush Jr. did better than Kerry, and it took me a long time to understand that what they meant by “better” was “louder” — i.e., YOU TELL TONY BLAIR!!! YOU TELL TONY BLAIR!!! with Bush Jr. screaming at the moderator.

    Apparently a lot of this country and maybe a majority of its punditocracy felt that type of Bush Jr. behavior was manly and passionate instead of an angry drunken caveman seizure.

  84. southend said,

    August 28, 2008 at 16:16

    Hey “Truth”: Instead of messing around with all the “Affirmative Action” bullshit; why don’t you just call Obama a “nigger” and be done with it? I mean, for the sake of brevity and all….

  85. Dreamweasel said,

    August 28, 2008 at 16:24

    I wish this weren’t true, but debates really don’t count for shit. Virtually everybody who pays attention has already made up their mind; they’re just hoping to see their guy score some points off the other guy.

    If debates really mattered, Kerry would’ve trounced Bush by 15 points in 2004.

  86. D.N. Nation said,

    August 28, 2008 at 16:27

    So noodling around the House of Kaus, I found this:

    Biden’s assertions about Obama’s foreign-policy judgment may or may not stick. But he’s got a much better chance of fulfilling the traditional attack role. He was all over John McCain Wednesday night—and will be for the rest of the race. He has perfected the senatorial two-step of lathering his victim in friendship first (”John McCain is my friend”) before dismantling him repeatedly. That lends weight to the attacks, and Biden knows his brief when talking about foreign affairs.

    Emphasis mine. Dear wingnuts, if you think that constant ranging ODS over even minute details is going to be a sufficient argument, may you live in interesting times.

  87. R. Porrofatto said,

    August 28, 2008 at 16:38

    Obama is officially nominated and today the Dow is rising. Ya think the Kudload will see a connection?

  88. g said,

    August 28, 2008 at 17:07

    I am longing for someone to find an Architectural Digest spread about the homes of John and Cindy McCain, featuring their Doric-columned portico.

    anyone?

  89. actor212 said,

    August 28, 2008 at 17:44

    g,

    I’d bet Cliff Schecter has some video over at Brave New World Films.

  90. John McCain said,

    August 28, 2008 at 17:54

    That Negro Obama will be using a Greek Temple for his acceptance. What an arugula-chomping elitist!

    Us heartland republicans will be doing a much better thing for my acceptance speech.

    They are preparing a mock-up of the cell that I spent 5 1/2 years in. I will make my acceptance speech while shackled to the bed.

    Take THAT, you lousy LIE-bruls!

  91. sagra said,

    August 28, 2008 at 17:58

    “It is to be amused a fukwad.”

    Fixed.

  92. John McCain said,

    August 28, 2008 at 18:08

    “I am so looking forward to the GOP convention, when these dorkuses have to live through back-to-back nights of Bush and Cheney speeches.”

    My media handlers/bosses have told me that there is this Innertubes tradition called “Shorter …..”.

    I have seen the speeches my bosses - oops, my friends - George and Mr. Cheney have written. Here is the shorter version of them, so you LIE-bruls don’t have to sully our glorious convention by viewing it:

    “Fear everything and everybody that isn’t white, especially uppity Negroes running for president. I wanna FEEL your fear and hatred!”

  93. Nuff Ced McGreavey said,

    August 28, 2008 at 18:33

    I just wanted to remind everyone what John “I’m Ready to be President” McCain was doing on the day Katrina hit New Orleans, August 29th, 2005:

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/08/images/20050829-5_p082905pm-0125-515h.html

    That’s right, eating cake with George “Helluva Job Brownie” Bush.

    Maybe that Twin Cities crack was justified.

  94. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 28, 2008 at 18:37

    g,

    Sadly, the Architectural Digest coverage of the McCain Mansion
    http://www.architecturaldigest.com/homes/features/archive/mccain_slideshow_072005?showall=true
    shows that it was done in South-West “style”. The biggest accusation that can be levelled at them from the slide show is that they appear to have an inordinate fondness for folk art. Besides, they sold that dump for $12 million.

    The double condo is at 2211 Camelback.
    http://www.2211camelback.com/views%20NE.htm
    Which is of a much more modern design.

    And I suspect that even Cindy McCain would draw the line at classical columns at the Sedona ranch.

  95. Gabriel Ratchet said,

    August 28, 2008 at 19:07

    Um, re the columns: As today is the 45th anniversary of MLK’s “I have a dream” speech, I rather suspect they’re meant to evoke the Lincoln Memorial.

    But I suppose one can’t expect the Goopers to remember that since their guy is one of the people who voted against making King’s birthday a holiday ….

  96. The Partial Birth Abortion Of A Nation said,

    August 28, 2008 at 20:02

    All I know is that I can’t wait for this great big concern circle jerk of media “coverage” of the DNC to end.

    I’d rather have two FOX News style stations full of retard conservatives to contend with than the tremulous ignorance of MSNBC’s and CNN’s juvenile attempts at being journalists.

  97. Doctorb said,

    August 28, 2008 at 23:43

    I think this has been conveyed already, but I find that a lot of comments work better if you de-euphemize them.

    “Elitist” == uppity
    “Presumptuous” == uppity
    “Celebrity” == uppity

  98. Doctorb said,

    August 28, 2008 at 23:44

    Also Partial Birth Abortion of a Nation is my favorite name of the day.

  99. Barbara Bushes' Crusty Dildo said,

    August 29, 2008 at 0:34

    So, Is McPOW going to pick that ethical, honorable Joseph Lieberman, or Mittens? I’m simply giddy with anticipation. Either way, it will be the winningest ticket EVER!

  100. Lafcadio said,

    August 29, 2008 at 2:04

    “Presumptuous.” This, from the party that created the “The Touch Of President Bush Healed This Child” advertisement.

    (I wish I could claim credit for remembering that…but it was my wife.)

  101. Doctorb said,

    August 29, 2008 at 6:45

    What? There was a campaign ad about Bush touching children? (Seriously, what ad do you mean?)

  102. mdh said,

    August 29, 2008 at 11:15

    It was a dark and stormy night…..

  103. mdh said,

    August 29, 2008 at 11:16

    What? There was a campaign ad about Bush touching children? (Seriously, what ad do you mean?)

    I think that was Putin, and it was about kissing boy’s bellies.

    W is a head and shoulder tapper.

    Both are very very alpha-domination idiosyncrasies.

  104. Lafcadio said,

    August 29, 2008 at 14:30

    Doctorb, I think it was a reelection ad in 04 that had a woman saying that Bush touched her child and she was healed–that the kid had been depressed and uncommunicative after 9/11 or something like that. Man, I wish I could find it. Surely someone else remembers it, someone with better search-fu than me.

  105. Caveat said,

    August 29, 2008 at 16:07

    I thought the set was redolent of the White House.

    Why is everybody obsessing over Obama’s ‘African-American’ selfness? Canadian media can’t shut up about it either. What a bunch of wankers, it’s really not that big a deal.

    How about intelligence, determination, credentials, charisma, relative youth and a lack of spot-changing as we usually see, don’t those qualities count anymore?.

    Doesn’t the fact that the guy is the best candidate for Prez to come down the pike in a long time mean anything? It sure does to me.

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